Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life’s Biggest Decisions

by Myra Strober, Abby Davisson

MONEY & An Intelligent Roadmap for Life’s Biggest Decisions  is a   guide for navigating life’s most consequential and daunting decisions using research-based insights road-tested in a popular Stanford University course. Should I move in with this person? Should I quit my job? When is the “right time” to have another child? All these life-altering questions at the juncture of money and love can be overwhelming. Often, we answer them either by staying overly rational or by only listening to our – at times fickle – hearts. Hardly ever, when faced with daunting questions, do we have the keys to combine both head and heart in a balanced and fulfilling way. Labor economist and Stanford Professor Emerita Myra Strober and social innovation leader Abby Davisson know that in our daily lives money and love are interdependent. Whereas most decision-making guides focus only on one or the other,  Money and Love  shows us and our loved ones how to consider them jointly using the original, step-by-step 5Cs At a time when we are experiencing the most significant shift in work-life balance in decades – marked by remote work, the Great Reshuffle, and a mass reconfiguring of family dynamics and social/professional networks – Strober and Davisson’s framework offers simple and effective steps to empower readers to make the best strategic decisions without having to sacrifice their careers or personal lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Finance, Relationships, Money, Personal Development, Business

320 pages, Hardcover

Published January 10, 2023

Reviews

[Ellen Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book very helpful to frame up tough decisions, I only wish I had found it earlier! It's inevitable that tough conversations around money are going to happen with one's partner and I thought the objective frameworks, coupled with the personal anecdotes, were insightful and gave me comfort that others are going through the same kinds of tough decisions - do we move? how do we care for our parents? etc. Highly recommend not only at the beginning of a new relationship but also for any enduring relationship that will continue to face tough choices.

[Ana-Maria Voloc · Rating 3 out of 5]

As humans, we are wired to live with purpose and meaning.

[Stephanie Itelman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated the thoughtful framework offered by the authors for decision-making. The structure of the book hits on so many critical life decisions and for those who may encounter them in the future, the book offers engaging personal anecdotes coupled with data to inform, but not to sway.

[Sandra Shirai · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for those facing life decisions related to marriage, career, children, and elderly care.

[Ryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Picked this up after enjoying Abby's appearance on the Rational Reminder podcast. This book presents a framework for thinking about big decisions I'll likely revisit, but this meeting could probably have been an email.

[Adam Benforado · Rating 5 out of 5]

In my own work, I've been thinking a lot about the impediments we place in front of young people on the path to adulthood—how we burden them with debt, restrict their geographic mobility, and hinder their opportunities in countless arenas. And so it was incredibly encouraging to get to read an advanced copy of Myra Strober and Abby Davisson’s fantastic new book.

Here is a roadmap to make the transition to being an adult less bumpy and more certain. Money and Love feels like essential reading—the kind of book you need to read to make the most out of life. I’ll be recommending to my law students and friends.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Especially practical as we look toward navigating some of life’s biggest decisions - like having children, where to live and when to move, combining career and family, and what it might look like to care for aging parents.

I enjoyed discussing some of the exercise questions that conclude each chapter with Dan, and he’s looking forward to reading it next, so we can really dig in!

[Jamie Austin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Get married or not? Move or stay put? More or less time on career or family? Sometimes the most difficult thing about making life's most difficult decisions is....how am I supposed to decide? If you're like me, you phone a friend (or two or ten), surf endlessly for insights or ponder the dilemma at three in the morning. And still, you don't know what to do.

In Money and Love: An intelligent roadmap for life's biggest decisions, Myra Strober, a Stanford labor economist, and Abby Davisson, a social innovation leader, have created an approach for how to approach life's biggest turning points. I'll avoid a spoiler and leave their 5C Framework to you, but suffice to say it's a succinct and powerful method. I closed the book feeling more confident in my own ability to navigate life's turns. I've already used the chapter on career and family to think about my own next steps. The chapter on taking care of elderly parents is, unfortunately, becoming highly relevant and useful as well.

Sometimes books like these can feel contrived; their approaches forced. The text can be repetitive and the goal is often simply to fill pages. But not here. It's smart and wisely thought out, and the prose moves quickly. The exercises are necessary supplements.

Strober and Davisson won't spoon feed you the answers to your decisions. That requires gathering information, seeking support, and having difficult and sometimes awkward conversations with loved ones. But the authors have done considerable research. Each chapter -- on, say, retirement, caring for elderly parents, and searching for "the one," -- has data, insights and anecdotes on how you should tackle your predicament. A decision-neutral, but information-positive approach.

At the least, you'll walk away from Money and Love comforted that you aren't the only one troubled by that big decision and knowledgeable about your options. At most, you'll come back to this book, long after having read it, to navigate your own path forward. Maybe at 3 am.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

The behavioral and household economics issues addressed in this book are relevant and the anecdotes from individuals confronting those issues are interesting, but the overall content is fairly introductory.

[Emporia Public Library]

Organized around issues such as dating, marriage and deciding where to live, Money and Love is a useful, logical guide for couples on the verge of big life decisions. #Nonfiction #Finances #Relationships #Decisions #EPLRecommends

[Sarai · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful

I am in the middle of taking all these decisions for myself and I am glad to see that there are systematic steps that I can take to think about this for myself and make the best decision

[Iwan · Rating 2 out of 5]

What I wanted: An intelligent roadmap for life's big decisions, supported by practical advice on approaching a discussion about finance within my relationship and strategies for budgeting, tackling different financial practices/behaviours and planning for the future.

What I got: A cursory tour of a few obvious life milestones heavily weighted to a woman's perspective, illustrated by fleeting, superficial, irrelevant anecdotes from the authors, their friends and people who have attended their courses and responded to their surveys.

My neurotic need to finish a book once I've started meant I saw this through and sadly it wasn't the book I was hoping it would be. However, it resonates with other reviewers and I'm glad it benefitted them.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Want to reap the benefits of one of Stanford Business School’s most popular courses that outlines a concise, clear framework to navigate the often murky waters of money and love? Look no further!

Myra and Abby provide an indispensable guide that empowers readers to make better decisions in the face of life’s most significant choices (ie those related to money and love). Their book is both research and anecdote-driven, providing the data and stories to back up their framework.

I especially appreciated the end-of-chapter opportunities to reflect and adapt the framework to my own context with thought-provoking questions.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had this book when I was younger! Before getting married, having kids and owning our first home. I so appreciate the intentional approach to making big life decisions. This can also be used for making smaller decisions but the impact is so great for the meaningful big decisions.
This book is relevant for all seasons of life as it can be for someone entering the workforce, deciding what to do with their romantic partnership, all the way through navigating caring for aging parents.
I've sent a number of this book to college graduates and young professionals. Highly recommend!

[RMax · Rating 5 out of 5]

Money and Love lays out a thoughtful and insightful framework for decision-making for key moments in life. It uses 5 C’s — clarify, communicate, choices, check in, and consequences. Through stories and personal commentary, this framework is well explained and highlights its significant benefits, including increasing a sense of control and becoming more comfortable and authentic with major choices. A valuable read. Rand Selig, author of Thriving!

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was certainly comprehensive! While none of the information was groundbreaking and I had expected it to be more focused on money going into it, this was an interesting listen. Because it was so comprehensive, it led me to think about many decisions in life that have a huge impact on personal finance.

I think it's worth a read - even if you just use it as a reference guide or workbook without reading the entire thing.

[Audreygold · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had been able to take a class from Myra Strober. Reading her books is the next best thing. Her thoughtful approach to making difficult decisions is a framework most of us need. Highly recommend reading her memoir "Sharing the Work: What My Family and Career Taught Me about Breaking Through (and Holding the Door Open for Others).

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great topic for a book. I think they had some helpful conversation starters, but really didn't offer much actionable advice or details. There was a whopping 2 pages on financing retirement which I thought would be a more significant part of a book like this. I did like the anecdotes since it's easier to imagine our own futures when we have a reference example.

[Raíssa Maciel Gadelha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Esse livro foi uma indicação de Cristina Junqueira (Nubank) e sai inteiramente da minha caixinha de leituras - afinal, versa sobre relacionamentos e finanças.
Apesar de não ser o tipo de livro que faz a minha cabeça, gostei bastante da escrita, insights e casos reais trazidos.
Em suma, achei super interessante! Vale a leitura :)

[Philippa Duffy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly helpful book for navigating life’s big decisions and everyday decisions. The mix of an easy to remember framework combined with lots of research-backed insights and stories will help you navigate decisions about relationships, work, real estate, family and kids. Thoroughly recommend!

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Based on the title, I rather expected this to be a finance book, but it was really more about communication and conflict resolution. I appreciated the discussion guides and suggested questions.

[Tom · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t find the book that interesting or helpful. However, I don’t have kids and I am happily married. If you haven’t had this conversation that could be helpful. I thought the five C’s were somewhat repetitive after the first couple chapters.

[Erin Byrne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book with practical advice for any season or chapter of your life! You can skip around or read it straight through, either way you will walk away with some golden nuggets that you can apply to your life.

[Ashley Adams · Rating 3 out of 5]

A self-help book for reframing relationship conversations around finances.

[angie b · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars. i thoroughly enjoyed. Solid, thoughtful information to help you evaluate your life with some good anecdotes.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I skimmed some of this as certain chapters weren't relevant to me, but it has some good info and insight.

[Nafeez Al tarik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply, a great book. Everyone should read this.

[Nadia · Rating 4 out of 5]

*listened to the audio

[gallizio · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quando ti sposi?

[Robert Chang · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s a comprehensive book that explores various aspects of life partnership. I believe it’s best used with a partner, working through the exercises together for a more meaningful experience.