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Raising Emotionally Strong Boys: Tools Your Son Can Build on for Life
About those meltdowns, blowups, and one-word answers . . .
Some say that's just how boys are--prone to outbursts or sullenness. But what's behind these and other issues? Drawing from twenty-five years of counseling boys and working with parents, David Thomas sheds light on common emotional struggles, including anger, anxiety, and depression, and shares practical ways you can help your son be
Resourceful --equipped to work through his emotions in constructive ways
Aware --so that he better understands himself, including his strengths and weaknesses
Resilient --having the capacity to cope and feel competent
Empathetic --able to understand the feelings and experiences of others
Helpful also for grandparents, teachers, and anyone else who has a boy in their life, this book shows how a strong emotional foundation leads to a Christ-like sense of masculinity that will serve him well his whole life.
Some say that's just how boys are--prone to outbursts or sullenness. But what's behind these and other issues? Drawing from twenty-five years of counseling boys and working with parents, David Thomas sheds light on common emotional struggles, including anger, anxiety, and depression, and shares practical ways you can help your son be
Resourceful --equipped to work through his emotions in constructive ways
Aware --so that he better understands himself, including his strengths and weaknesses
Resilient --having the capacity to cope and feel competent
Empathetic --able to understand the feelings and experiences of others
Helpful also for grandparents, teachers, and anyone else who has a boy in their life, this book shows how a strong emotional foundation leads to a Christ-like sense of masculinity that will serve him well his whole life.
190 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2022
1760 people are currently reading
11845 people want to read
About the author
David Thomas
11 books90 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Please see: David Thomas
David Thomas, L.M.S.W., is the Director of Family Counseling at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, TN. He is the co-author of six books, including the best-selling Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys (Tyndale House Publishers), a frequent guest on national television and radio, and a speaks across the country.
He and his wife, Connie, have a daughter, two sons and a fiesty yellow lab puppy named Owen.
Please see: David Thomas
David Thomas, L.M.S.W., is the Director of Family Counseling at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, TN. He is the co-author of six books, including the best-selling Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys (Tyndale House Publishers), a frequent guest on national television and radio, and a speaks across the country.
He and his wife, Connie, have a daughter, two sons and a fiesty yellow lab puppy named Owen.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 817 reviews
March 24, 2022
Great resource to help any boy accell in life! I absolutely loved the Three R's. I think the back stories and tips in this book are something everyone should utilize when raising their own son(s)! I have a 7 year old who has gone through so many changes due to the current world issues and gained anxiety due to all of it. I think I will find myself going back to this book for reassurance and tips to help him through this journey in life. I believe this is a great tool to utilize for any parent!
This ARC was given to me from NetGalley to read and review and give my personal opinions on this book. All statements above are my own and based solely on my own opinions after reading the book.
This ARC was given to me from NetGalley to read and review and give my personal opinions on this book. All statements above are my own and based solely on my own opinions after reading the book.
August 10, 2025
Although I already knew everything mentioned in the book, it was reassuring to know my parenting of boys is on the right track!
June 30, 2022
As a mom of two boys, I am so thankful to have read this book. I’m sure I will come back to it often in the future.
David Thomas gives helpful and practical tips for helping boys develop emotional maturity. A foundational concept in the book is the Three Rs: Recognize, Regulate, and Repair. I especially appreciated the action steps at the end of each chapter that, if taken, help drive home the concepts in the respective chapter.
But what I really loved about this book was the overall message that our model for masculinity is not tradition or culture, but Christ. Jesus experienced the full range of human emotions while on earth and showed us what it means to be a “real man.” It is a joy-filled task to be able to point our boys and young men to him rather than an ever-changing definition of manhood found in the culture, or a stoic caricature of “traditional” masculinity.
Highly recommend this for those who are in positions of influence in boys’ lives. Let’s raise a generation of strong men in every sense of the word—physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
Thank you to Netgalley and Bethany House for the review copy. All opinions are my own.
David Thomas gives helpful and practical tips for helping boys develop emotional maturity. A foundational concept in the book is the Three Rs: Recognize, Regulate, and Repair. I especially appreciated the action steps at the end of each chapter that, if taken, help drive home the concepts in the respective chapter.
But what I really loved about this book was the overall message that our model for masculinity is not tradition or culture, but Christ. Jesus experienced the full range of human emotions while on earth and showed us what it means to be a “real man.” It is a joy-filled task to be able to point our boys and young men to him rather than an ever-changing definition of manhood found in the culture, or a stoic caricature of “traditional” masculinity.
Highly recommend this for those who are in positions of influence in boys’ lives. Let’s raise a generation of strong men in every sense of the word—physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
Thank you to Netgalley and Bethany House for the review copy. All opinions are my own.
July 22, 2023
This book is written for a very specific audience, and I give the author 3 stars for knowing his audience and being able to use conservative Christianese to communicate important points against toxic masculinity that will likely help boys in this community (and also girls - and also parents of all genders) develop emotional intelligence. His (I assume) careful use of this language to discuss ideas already so prevalent in mainstream therapy will make the ideas more palatable to a subset of Christianity that likely has strong roots in patriarchy and the 90s influence of “warrior Jesus” (see also The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast and January 6th). Ironically, no acknowledgement of this Christian brand of toxic masculinity is addressed in the book - TM referred to as a “cultural” problem with the implication of secular culture causing this issue.
I’m also not sure why this is addressed specifically to boys and also seemingly to moms of boys. (1) This fit my daughter’s personality more ;). And (2) if we’re trying to change cultural norms and emotional intelligence for boys and men, why is the book more explicitly addressed to moms than dads? (I think I know the reason…)
Despite this critique, I applaud what this author is doing and hope the book will succeed in getting through to its intended audience. Our world needs more emotionally intelligent people.
I’m also not sure why this is addressed specifically to boys and also seemingly to moms of boys. (1) This fit my daughter’s personality more ;). And (2) if we’re trying to change cultural norms and emotional intelligence for boys and men, why is the book more explicitly addressed to moms than dads? (I think I know the reason…)
Despite this critique, I applaud what this author is doing and hope the book will succeed in getting through to its intended audience. Our world needs more emotionally intelligent people.
January 28, 2024
David Thomas can take all my money. His ability to put words to the experiences of boys and men is truly amazing. This book should be required reading for every parent or mentor of boys. Our culture would be radically changed if we all gained a better understanding of the emotions, habits, patterns, and pitfalls of boys as they age into men, and follow David’s practical advice and encouragement in helping our sons lean into vulnerability and emotional expression instead of suppression. Will be reading this one again over the years!
May 20, 2022
Thanks to Bethany House for the free book.
This book is a useful part of foundational work on raising a boy, though I feel like the overarching theme - especially the three R's can be applied to all children. I liked how this author shared about how parents can connect with their son when they are in a rough place. There are also chapters on how to create a foundation to hopefully prevent problems in the future. I will be using some of these methods in my future parenting.
However, I wanted a lot more peer reviewed sources for the information presented. This is a super picky preference, I know, but I'd love to see where he's getting some of his claims. Also there is so much research out there about how sleep training doesn't teach a child to self-soothe and putting this false advice in the book could be harmful for some parents when it comes to sleep. This was a big downer for me in the book because this rhetoric was presented as fact without any sources to back this claim up. Everything I've read about little babies and toddlers is how dependence fosters independence, and this idea is totally missing. Overall, there are some great points here, and it would make a good resource to have in a parenting resource arsenal.
This book is a useful part of foundational work on raising a boy, though I feel like the overarching theme - especially the three R's can be applied to all children. I liked how this author shared about how parents can connect with their son when they are in a rough place. There are also chapters on how to create a foundation to hopefully prevent problems in the future. I will be using some of these methods in my future parenting.
However, I wanted a lot more peer reviewed sources for the information presented. This is a super picky preference, I know, but I'd love to see where he's getting some of his claims. Also there is so much research out there about how sleep training doesn't teach a child to self-soothe and putting this false advice in the book could be harmful for some parents when it comes to sleep. This was a big downer for me in the book because this rhetoric was presented as fact without any sources to back this claim up. Everything I've read about little babies and toddlers is how dependence fosters independence, and this idea is totally missing. Overall, there are some great points here, and it would make a good resource to have in a parenting resource arsenal.
October 15, 2022
This book was just ok. Reinforced some things I already believed (importance of exercise, emotional vocabulary, modeling, breathing) and an avalanche of examples, ideas, anecdotes and advice, paired with a trickle of scripture. Seems really more aimed at parents of troubled teens than little boys like the one on the cover. I’m still looking for THE book to help understand masculinity/parenting boys. This ain’t it.
Read
March 15, 2025Really solid. Helpful. I used one of the practices with my five year old son and he opened up about something that upset him that another kid said to him, but he hadn’t told us yet. Definitely recommend.
August 11, 2024
Must Read!
If you have sons, nephews, boy friends, any male in your life from about 21 and below this book is phenomenal.
Something that is so hard and not usually talked about - how to raise strong emotional boys. So many good tips and strategies to learn and teach males.
All of this author’s books are just very strong . Love listening to his podcast too.
💬𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵:𝘩𝘵𝘵𝘱𝘴://𝘸𝘸𝘸.𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮.𝘤𝘰𝘮/𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴/
If you have sons, nephews, boy friends, any male in your life from about 21 and below this book is phenomenal.
Something that is so hard and not usually talked about - how to raise strong emotional boys. So many good tips and strategies to learn and teach males.
All of this author’s books are just very strong . Love listening to his podcast too.
💬𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵:𝘩𝘵𝘵𝘱𝘴://𝘸𝘸𝘸.𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮.𝘤𝘰𝘮/𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴/
February 18, 2025
I would recommend this to all parents of boys, but I also have friends who do not have boys who benefited from it! Balanced, thoughtful, super practical.
A lot of this was not modeled by the fathers of men my age (millennials) so I’m grateful for this resource. A few highlights:
- The three Rs: recognize, regulate, and repair (if needed). Help them identify what they feel and what to do with those emotions.
- Honoring the physicality of boys’ emotions and the need for a space to physically regulate their emotions (at first alongside them and eventually independently)— anything from a trampoline, pull up bar, punching bag, exercise ball, etc
- Ways to move them out of “I don’t know” to a more rich interior life
- “Unless a boy learns to take ownership, he can stay stuck swinging between blame and shame.”
- The importance of DEEP male friendships and mentors (as well as fathers of course) — boys need to work hard at vulnerability, embracing weakness, authenticity
- Navigating unique challenges mothers and sons face in their relationship
- “Your son needs to know that he is capable of hard things and was made for good work.”
A lot of this was not modeled by the fathers of men my age (millennials) so I’m grateful for this resource. A few highlights:
- The three Rs: recognize, regulate, and repair (if needed). Help them identify what they feel and what to do with those emotions.
- Honoring the physicality of boys’ emotions and the need for a space to physically regulate their emotions (at first alongside them and eventually independently)— anything from a trampoline, pull up bar, punching bag, exercise ball, etc
- Ways to move them out of “I don’t know” to a more rich interior life
- “Unless a boy learns to take ownership, he can stay stuck swinging between blame and shame.”
- The importance of DEEP male friendships and mentors (as well as fathers of course) — boys need to work hard at vulnerability, embracing weakness, authenticity
- Navigating unique challenges mothers and sons face in their relationship
- “Your son needs to know that he is capable of hard things and was made for good work.”
March 13, 2025
Well worth the wait to read it on Libby; honestly worth buying snd having in my home library. I wish I had read this years ago, this book has already guided me to try to implement better ways to talk with my son. It is SO important to encourage emotions in boys, and guide them on how to live with them instead of shoving those emotions down and saying "Man up!" I have already recommended this to friends with sons.
August 12, 2025
Hands down the best parenting book I have read. HANDS DOWN. Not only is it easy to understand but his tips actually work and are easy to implement. I wish I had read this years ago but it’s still great to read if your kids are older. He uses examples of young boys and older boys. Heck, this book works great for girls and adults too!!! I’m implementing his tips. 🤣
June 22, 2025
1.5: Well-intended but seriously misguided.
This book tackles an important topic—how to raise healthy boys in our current cultural moment—but dramatic falls short of providing the robust framework our sons actually need.
The core philosophy here creates “therapeutic boys” rather than strong men. The author’s obsession with feelings charts, constant emotional processing, and what he calls “slipping into another person’s shoes” fundamentally misunderstands how most boys are wired and what they need to flourish.
The book’s central flaw is treating normal boyish traits—like aggression, risk-taking, and emotional reserve—as problems to be cured rather than strengths to be channeled. The author seems to counsel primarily troubled boys and then applies those extreme cases as the norm, creating solutions for problems many boys don’t actually have.
Most concerning is the author’s complete omission of leadership, mission, and what it means to rule over one’s emotions rather than simply “regulate” them. Boys don’t just need to feel deeply, they need purpose, challenge, and the confidence that comes from competence. The book’s emphasis on vulnerability and neediness, while well-intentioned, creates a false choice between being a stoic island and an emotionally dependent person.
The irony is that despite living in an era more focused on mental health than ever before, we’re seeing unprecedented levels of depression and anxiety among young men. This book’s approach—more emotional processing, more feelings-focused conversation—seems to double down on strategies that are not only not working, but arguably making things worse (see Shrier’s “Bad Therapy”).
Boys need to be incredibly loved, absolutely. They need community and shouldn’t face life’s challenges alone. But they also need to be equipped for strength, leadership, and purpose-driven living. This book will likely produce young men who are very attuned to their feelings but lack the backbone our culture desperately needs.
It’s not all bad. The author correctly identifies that boys need outlets for their energy and practical strategies for self-regulation. Some of the practical advice around physical outlets and coping mechanisms is genuinely helpful. But the substance is not only unhelpful, but undermines God’s design for boys.
One of the great ironies of the book is that he critized the traditional view of masculinity, while maintaining what he suggests is “counter cultural.” But the opposite is true. We have a plethora of sensitive boys who are tender, constantly having their masculine impulses beat down by society. The traditional view **is** the counter-cultural view. And the traditional view was present during a time in which boys were far less troubled than they are now.
Outside of the above, the author says the words “I think” and “I believe” ad nauseam, only reinforcing he’s utilizing specific experiential events to determine his overarching philosophy around raising boys. So you’re hoping for a comprehensive vision of raising strong, capable men, you’ll need to look elsewhere.
This book tackles an important topic—how to raise healthy boys in our current cultural moment—but dramatic falls short of providing the robust framework our sons actually need.
The core philosophy here creates “therapeutic boys” rather than strong men. The author’s obsession with feelings charts, constant emotional processing, and what he calls “slipping into another person’s shoes” fundamentally misunderstands how most boys are wired and what they need to flourish.
The book’s central flaw is treating normal boyish traits—like aggression, risk-taking, and emotional reserve—as problems to be cured rather than strengths to be channeled. The author seems to counsel primarily troubled boys and then applies those extreme cases as the norm, creating solutions for problems many boys don’t actually have.
Most concerning is the author’s complete omission of leadership, mission, and what it means to rule over one’s emotions rather than simply “regulate” them. Boys don’t just need to feel deeply, they need purpose, challenge, and the confidence that comes from competence. The book’s emphasis on vulnerability and neediness, while well-intentioned, creates a false choice between being a stoic island and an emotionally dependent person.
The irony is that despite living in an era more focused on mental health than ever before, we’re seeing unprecedented levels of depression and anxiety among young men. This book’s approach—more emotional processing, more feelings-focused conversation—seems to double down on strategies that are not only not working, but arguably making things worse (see Shrier’s “Bad Therapy”).
Boys need to be incredibly loved, absolutely. They need community and shouldn’t face life’s challenges alone. But they also need to be equipped for strength, leadership, and purpose-driven living. This book will likely produce young men who are very attuned to their feelings but lack the backbone our culture desperately needs.
It’s not all bad. The author correctly identifies that boys need outlets for their energy and practical strategies for self-regulation. Some of the practical advice around physical outlets and coping mechanisms is genuinely helpful. But the substance is not only unhelpful, but undermines God’s design for boys.
One of the great ironies of the book is that he critized the traditional view of masculinity, while maintaining what he suggests is “counter cultural.” But the opposite is true. We have a plethora of sensitive boys who are tender, constantly having their masculine impulses beat down by society. The traditional view **is** the counter-cultural view. And the traditional view was present during a time in which boys were far less troubled than they are now.
Outside of the above, the author says the words “I think” and “I believe” ad nauseam, only reinforcing he’s utilizing specific experiential events to determine his overarching philosophy around raising boys. So you’re hoping for a comprehensive vision of raising strong, capable men, you’ll need to look elsewhere.
May 2, 2023
David Thomas is my go-to author and podcaster for wisdom and guidance in my journey of raising boys. He always writes and speaks such wisdom, truth, and practical application for raising boys of godly character in our present time. This book is no exception. The statistics of young and adult men who struggle with addiction, adultery, depression, etc are staggering. This book challenges and encourages parents to engage and equip boys from a young age with tools to identify, navigate and express their emotions from a young age so they might carry those skills into adulthood.
June 26, 2024
Just fantastic. This was helpful for me more than anything. I wish I had this when I was a boy. I am very thankful for these skills and ideas to help raise my son and invest in young men.
May 20, 2024
Every boy parent needs to read it. Enough said.
January 24, 2025
So many good things, just putting my favorite bits down here to summarize:
-Teach boys the 3 R's:
Recognize (how your body signals an emotion): Use a feelings wheel to help them know how to identify what they are feeling and NAME it.
Regulate (employ calming strategies): Deep breathing and physical movement/release. Top 5 list of movement ideas to release stress. Boys often attempt to say video games and social media help them avoid stress. Screens are an escape, not a coping strategy. Boys are instinctively skilled at numbing out. Technology has become one of the most addictive and accessible forms of numbing out. Regulating techniques need to be non screen related.
Repair (take ownership and repair the work): apologize and own up to their actions.
-Emotionally strong boys are resourceful, can name and navigate emotions, are aware of their interior world (strengths & weaknesses), resilient (capacity to cope and feel confident), and empathetic (having the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.)
-We have to allow the boys we love to struggle. Struggle is good soil for growing resilience and resourcefulness. They can't develop strong emotional muscles unless they use them. We want to offer empathy and support, we don't want to do the work for him.
-For challenging/frustrating situations or reactive moments, go back later (after they’ve calmed down) and talk through it. On a piece of paper, write these 4 things and write down/work through the answers:
1) Think (what they were thinking in the moment: "I can't do it", "I never.." "You never..." blame & shame)
2) Feel (what they were feeling in response to the thoughts: frustration, anger, incompetence)
3) Do (what they did in response to the thoughts and feelings: blame, kicking something, punching, screaming, yelling, etc)
4) True (what is actually true about the situation: I'm good at Math, but sometimes it frustrates me. I'm not dumb because I'm in the highest reading group. I should take a brain break after 30 minutes. I shouldn't drive when I'm emotional. Being cut from a team means my school is full of great athletes. I've made plenty of teams in the past. I'm not defined by my athleticism, but as a Son of God.)
-(Mothers & Sons) You are preparing him to have healthy relationships with all the other females in his life, as opposed to using them or needing them in order to survive. We want him to experience satisfaction in relationships, not just survival. We want him to both enjoy his relationships and contribute to them. The work of mothering a son is mostly about stepping aside with precise timing. I want my sons to learn from me that they are free to be rooted in our home and still be abroad in the world as men.
-Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life. Boys simply need to see the grown ups around them modeling how to navigate the discomfort of life this side of heaven.
-Top 5 influences: ask your son to identify the 5 people he spends the most time with (outside of family).
-Boys need to know that their pain can be transformed into something (outward and upward movement). They can take the emotion to something constructive. Help him begin to make connections to how God will place particular burdens and needs inside of him as a way of leading him to his calling. How can he turn that need into purpose?
-Most boys aren't self actualized enough to structure their time on their own. Help him set measurable and manageable goals. The Healthy Mind Platter has 7 daily essential activities needed for optimizing mental health. 1) focus time, 2) play time, 3) connecting time, 4) physical time, 5) time in, 6) down time, and 7) sleep time.
-Remind boys we are all capable of coming up with great ideas, but most people don't implement them.
“We don't think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking."
-Teach boys the 3 R's:
Recognize (how your body signals an emotion): Use a feelings wheel to help them know how to identify what they are feeling and NAME it.
Regulate (employ calming strategies): Deep breathing and physical movement/release. Top 5 list of movement ideas to release stress. Boys often attempt to say video games and social media help them avoid stress. Screens are an escape, not a coping strategy. Boys are instinctively skilled at numbing out. Technology has become one of the most addictive and accessible forms of numbing out. Regulating techniques need to be non screen related.
Repair (take ownership and repair the work): apologize and own up to their actions.
-Emotionally strong boys are resourceful, can name and navigate emotions, are aware of their interior world (strengths & weaknesses), resilient (capacity to cope and feel confident), and empathetic (having the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.)
-We have to allow the boys we love to struggle. Struggle is good soil for growing resilience and resourcefulness. They can't develop strong emotional muscles unless they use them. We want to offer empathy and support, we don't want to do the work for him.
-For challenging/frustrating situations or reactive moments, go back later (after they’ve calmed down) and talk through it. On a piece of paper, write these 4 things and write down/work through the answers:
1) Think (what they were thinking in the moment: "I can't do it", "I never.." "You never..." blame & shame)
2) Feel (what they were feeling in response to the thoughts: frustration, anger, incompetence)
3) Do (what they did in response to the thoughts and feelings: blame, kicking something, punching, screaming, yelling, etc)
4) True (what is actually true about the situation: I'm good at Math, but sometimes it frustrates me. I'm not dumb because I'm in the highest reading group. I should take a brain break after 30 minutes. I shouldn't drive when I'm emotional. Being cut from a team means my school is full of great athletes. I've made plenty of teams in the past. I'm not defined by my athleticism, but as a Son of God.)
-(Mothers & Sons) You are preparing him to have healthy relationships with all the other females in his life, as opposed to using them or needing them in order to survive. We want him to experience satisfaction in relationships, not just survival. We want him to both enjoy his relationships and contribute to them. The work of mothering a son is mostly about stepping aside with precise timing. I want my sons to learn from me that they are free to be rooted in our home and still be abroad in the world as men.
-Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life. Boys simply need to see the grown ups around them modeling how to navigate the discomfort of life this side of heaven.
-Top 5 influences: ask your son to identify the 5 people he spends the most time with (outside of family).
-Boys need to know that their pain can be transformed into something (outward and upward movement). They can take the emotion to something constructive. Help him begin to make connections to how God will place particular burdens and needs inside of him as a way of leading him to his calling. How can he turn that need into purpose?
-Most boys aren't self actualized enough to structure their time on their own. Help him set measurable and manageable goals. The Healthy Mind Platter has 7 daily essential activities needed for optimizing mental health. 1) focus time, 2) play time, 3) connecting time, 4) physical time, 5) time in, 6) down time, and 7) sleep time.
-Remind boys we are all capable of coming up with great ideas, but most people don't implement them.
“We don't think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking."
July 21, 2022
As a mom of two boys, the title immediately grabbed my attention. I read this slowly, in to take it all in. I loved that this book is basically a resource to guide parents to identify the best in their boys, and grow their strong points in even better strengths.
There was so much to learn and I will go back to this book as my boys grow and find themselves in different seasons.
As a runner myself, my favourite part was when the author described the team who helped the athlete break the 2hr record on a marathon. I watched this run and was amazed. But why was it my favourite part of the book - because in life, we need a team around us and our children, to help them reach goals and keep them on track - and we as parents have an important rule choosing that team in our children’s lives.
*I received a copy via Netgalley. All opinions expressed are my own.*
There was so much to learn and I will go back to this book as my boys grow and find themselves in different seasons.
As a runner myself, my favourite part was when the author described the team who helped the athlete break the 2hr record on a marathon. I watched this run and was amazed. But why was it my favourite part of the book - because in life, we need a team around us and our children, to help them reach goals and keep them on track - and we as parents have an important rule choosing that team in our children’s lives.
*I received a copy via Netgalley. All opinions expressed are my own.*
June 21, 2023
I'm going back through and journaling through the thoughts and suggestions in this book. This is powerful stuff. As a mom who has three sons, I really want my husband and I to be on the same page in raising emotionally strong boys. It's a group seriously missing in our society today. This book is greatly needed by parents of boys.
May 16, 2023
A good read with helpful tips and insight. My boys aren’t quite in the stages he covers, so I may have to revisit this again when the boys are older as needed.
I wouldn’t say any of the information was groundbreaking, but I left with some points to think about.
I wouldn’t say any of the information was groundbreaking, but I left with some points to think about.
September 15, 2022
I enjoyed this book and definitely came away with some things that I can implement. But I felt like it was more geared towards parents of elementary to high school kids. I will probably revisit this as my son gets older. I did like the Bible basis he came from, but a lot of the scripture was taken from The Message which isn't my favorite.
February 9, 2025
A very good resource book that I will definitely come back to again. I did take some things away from it for right now, however this book will be more helpful for when my boys are in the pre-teen/teenage years. The author read the audiobook and he was fantastic!
November 15, 2023
So beneficial. I’m a brand new mom and need to reread this when my son is a little older but I’m making my husband read this asap for students in our youth ministry as we help parents navigate emotions with their teenagers.
February 20, 2025
The book is sound with great content. I honestly wish I had read this book when my boys were younger. That being said, I think it can help for anyone might be working with young men, like teachers, coaches, youth leaders, etc.
The only issues I have are the exercises. There were so many activities in the action plan that it can seem daunting. Especially if you are not practicing them while you are reading the book. It might be best to pick one or two and add them to your tool belt.
In the end, the book is worth the read. I would recommend it easily to anyone who was trying to learn to work with or communicate their kids.
The only issues I have are the exercises. There were so many activities in the action plan that it can seem daunting. Especially if you are not practicing them while you are reading the book. It might be best to pick one or two and add them to your tool belt.
In the end, the book is worth the read. I would recommend it easily to anyone who was trying to learn to work with or communicate their kids.
September 7, 2022
Even if you are raising girls, this book would be helpful. And if you are raising boys, it's close to essential. One of the most practical and eye-opening parenting books I have ever read. I've already started using some of the suggestions and they helped instantly. Knowing how to move through the three Rs: Recognize, Regulate, Repair, and having the strategy of Name, Breathe, Cope are essential skills for every adult, ones many of us lack. And if I don't have those skills, how can I teach them to my children? Like the very best parenting books, this book challenged me to work on myself as well as teach my children.
May 31, 2022
I found Raising Emotionally Strong Boys an enlightening read.
However, I would say that while I understand the focus is on boys, and they struggle more with the issues in this book than girls do, girls would also benefit from multiple things Thomas has outlined in this book.
Men are often skilled in avoiding pain and numbing discomfort. They struggle greatly with asking for help and attending to their health and well-being. What if we raised a generation of boys that saw prioritizing mental health as wisdom?
Thomas talks about how we are to help our boys learn to recognize stress, then instruct them on how to regulate through the stress, and finally, repair any damage that is done (verbally, physically) during their stressful moments. He calls it the three Rs. This is a skill I believe girls need to learn as well.
One of the things I enjoyed about this book was the recap of the main points at the end of the chapter. It helped drive the points home. Some of the topics discussed in this book are common emotional struggles, like anger, depression, and anxiety. Thomas also includes recommendations for other resources that would be beneficial to have your son do daily, like journaling.
My son is seventeen years old, and I wish this book had come out a few years ago. It would have helped us navigate some of the harder seasons we have had.
I highly recommend this book to parents and anyone who works with boys in any capacity.
Thank you to Net Galley for the opportunity to read this book. I was not required to give a positive review. All thoughts and opinions are entirely my own.
However, I would say that while I understand the focus is on boys, and they struggle more with the issues in this book than girls do, girls would also benefit from multiple things Thomas has outlined in this book.
Men are often skilled in avoiding pain and numbing discomfort. They struggle greatly with asking for help and attending to their health and well-being. What if we raised a generation of boys that saw prioritizing mental health as wisdom?
Thomas talks about how we are to help our boys learn to recognize stress, then instruct them on how to regulate through the stress, and finally, repair any damage that is done (verbally, physically) during their stressful moments. He calls it the three Rs. This is a skill I believe girls need to learn as well.
One of the things I enjoyed about this book was the recap of the main points at the end of the chapter. It helped drive the points home. Some of the topics discussed in this book are common emotional struggles, like anger, depression, and anxiety. Thomas also includes recommendations for other resources that would be beneficial to have your son do daily, like journaling.
My son is seventeen years old, and I wish this book had come out a few years ago. It would have helped us navigate some of the harder seasons we have had.
I highly recommend this book to parents and anyone who works with boys in any capacity.
Thank you to Net Galley for the opportunity to read this book. I was not required to give a positive review. All thoughts and opinions are entirely my own.
April 25, 2025
It's way past time to flip "toxic masculinity" on its head. The world needs emotionally and spiritually healthy men, and this is a great resource for parents who want to do the work in equipping their sons! I have a lot of respect for David Thomas, who models thoughtful, gracious, tender and courageous masculinity -- loved learning from him.
March 15, 2024
Listened on audio but then immediately ordered the physical copy so I could reference it and have my husband read it. Anyone with any kind of influence in a boy’s life - parent, family, coach, mentor- could benefit from the wealth of knowledge he shares as a counselor.
December 21, 2023
Recommend reading for every parent or mentor of boys.
Helped me to prepare to raise my three sons well and to understand myself better and ways that I can grow stronger emotionally and relationally. David Thomas returns over and over again to the idea that parents and mentors can only lead their kids as far as they’ve gone themselves and writes this book to help parents grow and help kids grow. He gives a lot of great simple guidance for how to put the ideas he presents into practice with tons of examples from his counseling ministry.
Helped me to prepare to raise my three sons well and to understand myself better and ways that I can grow stronger emotionally and relationally. David Thomas returns over and over again to the idea that parents and mentors can only lead their kids as far as they’ve gone themselves and writes this book to help parents grow and help kids grow. He gives a lot of great simple guidance for how to put the ideas he presents into practice with tons of examples from his counseling ministry.
November 10, 2024
I want this book on my book shelf. I listened to half of it on audiobook and read the other half on ebook. You could hear the heart and passion the author has for boys and their parents. I think this is one of my favorite Christian parenting books so far. It just made sense, without making me feel like I'll never get it right. It was a great mix of being educational, motivational, and full of real life stories of interactions the author had as a counselor.
"Helping boys find their way to the full experience of being human and being fully masculine is what we are chasing."
"Helping boys find their way to the full experience of being human and being fully masculine is what we are chasing."
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