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The Rational Male - The Players Handbook: A Red Pill Guide to Game
The Rational Male – The Players Handbook • A Definitive Guide to Game
In this final master-work of The Rational Male Series, Rollo Tomassi breaks down the fundamental mechanics of Game, intersexual social skills, and the nuts & bolts psychology that makes it work. The Players Handbook is not a "how-to" book, it's a "why-it-works" book. It’s not an instruction manual – it is the missing textbook on Game and understanding intersexual dynamics.
Game is an adaptive set of social skills and best practices in navigating intersexual dynamics in a modern sexual marketplace. While the rapid conditions of that marketplace are in constant change, the human-machine does not.
We need a modern Game textbook based on empirical, 21st-century data, not emotional hopefulness. We need a reference manual for all dating coaches, relationship experts, as well as married men and would-be Players. We need a Players Handbook to guide the practice of all Game.
Drawing on over 20 years of evolutionary psychology, biology, sociology, and anthropology, The Players Handbook fluidly addresses the natures of men and women’s intersexual dynamics.
Game is a craft that sets Players apart from Average men. Average men are everywhere. The average guy is overweight, underemployed, low-or-no education, rudderless and purposeless in life and love.
Today's statistics show that women find only 4.5% of men attractive…attractive enough to initiate a dialogue with them. That 4.5% are the Players. Their Game may suck, but they are the high-value men who women want to play with, and play with. And this is what’s at the heart of this book.
You want to be a Player, not the average guy.
Game is for every man, not just the hustler draped over a Lamborghini parked next to his super-yacht. Single, married, saint or sinner, first-world rich or third-world poor, Game is for you.
This is the lost textbook you and your dating coaches have been missing for decades.
It’s time you become a Player.
In this final master-work of The Rational Male Series, Rollo Tomassi breaks down the fundamental mechanics of Game, intersexual social skills, and the nuts & bolts psychology that makes it work. The Players Handbook is not a "how-to" book, it's a "why-it-works" book. It’s not an instruction manual – it is the missing textbook on Game and understanding intersexual dynamics.
Game is an adaptive set of social skills and best practices in navigating intersexual dynamics in a modern sexual marketplace. While the rapid conditions of that marketplace are in constant change, the human-machine does not.
We need a modern Game textbook based on empirical, 21st-century data, not emotional hopefulness. We need a reference manual for all dating coaches, relationship experts, as well as married men and would-be Players. We need a Players Handbook to guide the practice of all Game.
Drawing on over 20 years of evolutionary psychology, biology, sociology, and anthropology, The Players Handbook fluidly addresses the natures of men and women’s intersexual dynamics.
Game is a craft that sets Players apart from Average men. Average men are everywhere. The average guy is overweight, underemployed, low-or-no education, rudderless and purposeless in life and love.
Today's statistics show that women find only 4.5% of men attractive…attractive enough to initiate a dialogue with them. That 4.5% are the Players. Their Game may suck, but they are the high-value men who women want to play with, and play with. And this is what’s at the heart of this book.
You want to be a Player, not the average guy.
Game is for every man, not just the hustler draped over a Lamborghini parked next to his super-yacht. Single, married, saint or sinner, first-world rich or third-world poor, Game is for you.
This is the lost textbook you and your dating coaches have been missing for decades.
It’s time you become a Player.
502 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 21, 2022
379 people are currently reading
1066 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
August 30, 2022
Now I started reading the print version life got busy and finished reading the audio version. This is a must read for men. Game is very important skill men must master and it goes beyond just dealing with women. Make money, make muscles, must have game and hold frame. These four factors are important for men to have. One of the things men make the mistake of is having a scarcity mindset for women when they should have an abundance mindset for women. Guys this is the order you have to put yourself and Kevin Samuels (RIP) touched on this but I have my own version. Men should put themselves first. Their purpose second. Their family friends and pets third and their relationships with women on a romantic/sexual level a very very very very very very very distant fourth. The reason for this is we live today in a generation women get bored with relationships so fast they will look for the next big thing. Never make women the central part of your life. This is the mistake I have made and most men have made in their life and have ended up zeroed out because they thought she was the exception to the rule. This book goes into detail about this and explains why game does work as well. Women claim they hate players? Then why do they keep falling for them? Women claim they hate men who play games? Why do they keep falling for guys who do play games? This is an excellent read and this book along with Rollo’s other books I would recommend.
June 9, 2022
Awesome reading
After reading The Rational Male and being impressed by such important and relevant information displayed and explained in that book, decided to buy this one. Before reading this didn't believe in game at all and have to say was very close to what I thought it was. I must admit that along with my beliefs Rollo Tomassi reinforced and convinced me game is in every one of us to master.
I truly recommend this book to every man interested not only on game but to better themselves as men
After reading The Rational Male and being impressed by such important and relevant information displayed and explained in that book, decided to buy this one. Before reading this didn't believe in game at all and have to say was very close to what I thought it was. I must admit that along with my beliefs Rollo Tomassi reinforced and convinced me game is in every one of us to master.
I truly recommend this book to every man interested not only on game but to better themselves as men
Read
March 1, 2023This has been the most difficult essay I've written. Rewritten four times. I went in a million different directions and could never be satisfied. I consider my essay somewhat of a failure in what it tried to achieve (there is something I feel I'm missing. Something like the purpose of the sexual imperatives and why they matter), but it makes some contributions. I have to let go of this now before it consumes more of my time...
While Game can be conceived as something seductive that only scheming losers need to learn because they can't get a woman by just being who they are, a better way of understanding "learning Game" is seeing it as unlearning limiting ideas, attitudes, and habits that we have implanted from social conditioning and trauma.
Learning Game is not about being less of yourself; it is about learning what is effective and unlearning what is not. You change personality when you let it sink in over time, so it shifts from explicit behavior to implicit identity. The problem with "Being who you are" is that we attach our identity to our beliefs, which come from outside ourselves; our families, our teachers, and the views of our society at large.
So, practicing Game and being oneself is a false dichotomy. Everyone has learned to a certain degree how to behave to be attractive to women. This may have come from implicit learning, such as watching role models, figures on TV, novels, etc., or explicit learning, such as family, friends, and teachers telling you how you ought to treat y'lady. The real dichotomy is Bad Game and Good Game.
An example of the confusion between Authenticity and Game is displayed in the Breadcrumbs chapter, which was great. Rollo writes how erotic tension is created out of mystery. However, problems arise when insecurity leads men to vomit out all their (carefully selected) personal details - because they think it will build intimacy.
His carefully tailored selection of personal details is designed to give her a favorable impression of him and make her feel comfortable around him. This is the default Game most guys do. And unlearning this and instead making her feel like she is "figuring you out using her feminine intuition" is just making the interaction more fun and authentic. Instead of telling her explicitly who you are, let her figure it out, and, based on your openness, you figure out who you are in the process, also. Learning Game principles is a round-about way to just being your more authentic self.
Red Pill theory originated from Game - what early pickup artists figured out in the field. It became its own thing when the community wanted to flesh out a more general theory of intersexual dynamics - without necessarily learning how to be good with women. This book is a sort of high school reunion between these two.
The Red Pill is about understanding and adapting to the raw reality of sexual dynamics, removing the blue-pill rose-tinted glasses of romantic idealism, spiritual optimism, and fem-centric social conditioning, and instead, providing a rational and pragmatic perspective grounded in evolutionary psychology, statistical analysis and collectively shared experience of men today.
It's a valuable paradigm to protect against suffering and the weak "blue pill" attitudes we eventually slide into.
While men need to learn and be aware of this stuff, the danger is that it's quickly taken for granted as an absolute fact; it becomes the primary lens you start viewing the world.
The problem is that it's based entirely on the physical realm. So it paints an animalistic predatory/prey, zero-sum, give/take picture of human relations. This is not ideal.
We can see how Rollo is in this paradigm by how most of his Youtube strategy is attacking other people to increase himself and gain more subscribers. There is so much negativity in the community, and there's no mystery as to why when Rollo himself is behaving like this. He makes videos attacking women who he and his fans, by default, assume has the worst of intentions. So now we end up in a part of the internet where grown-ass men gossip about who had sex with whom; assuming all women are subconsciously controlled by their instinct for hypergamy, all their actions can be explained as such.
The problem with paradigms is that they are self-reinforcing. You start seeing proof of them everywhere you go because your beliefs influence your perception. Moreover, it's not only your experience of the world that's changed by selective focus, but the crazy thing is that it changes to match your expectations.
In other words, models of reality and reality itself have a bidirectional relationship.
Rollo said he wanted to exclude his moral judgment in his Red pill literature, yet all his "objective facts" are highlighted. In contrast, others are ignored by subjective bias from his value system.
Having said all this. Rollo is the grandfather of The Red Pill - and he has a deep understanding of sexual dynamics and a solid grasp of Game, and he has contributed a ton to the common understanding of what the heck is going on around us. What's funny about Rollo is that he makes everyone feel blue-pilled.
The most interesting part of the book, for me, was how Rollo put tension between ethics and Game. Rollo discusses the short-lived push for "Ethical Game" in pickup circles, where players, witnessing the havoc they wreaked, wanted to leave girls better than they found her. This fad was short-lived, Rollo explains, because it's inherently contradictory with playing the game.
"Unless you intend to make her a permanent fixture in your life," writes Rollo, as he quashes this noble pursuit of aspiring knights in shining armor, "there is no way to leave her better than you found her."
Before understanding this claim, we must be aware of Rollo's underlying premises and the context.
The idea of alpha widowing is when a woman has great sex with a man she can't lock down and thus will never be satisfied with a lesser man in bed in the future. Additionally, for every man a woman has sex with, she becomes less capable of creating a deep emotional bond with her partner.
For each man she dates, she invests her limited sexual youth, her sexual agency, and her ability to pair bond. And every man she dates, according to Rollo, will always be a net loss for her if she doesn't get the ring, children, or a promise of permanent security.
An essential concept in understanding these premises is SMV—sexual market value. The idea here is that women's only real agency over men is their sexuality, and their sexual attractiveness generally declines from their mid-twenties.
In other words, men find older women with a rich sexual past (with guys who are hotter than themselves) generally less desirable for a permanent relationship, and being a single mom does not help.
This is interesting because if we consider ethics, Rollo's statement "you cannot leave her better off" seems contradictory to one of the cornerstones of Game - namely, that of plate spinning and, uh, just dating and having sex in general.
The concept of plate spinning is seeing multiple women simultaneously (without the deception of false exclusivity). It is a strategy for getting a larger range of options for sexual satisfaction and even pursuing a high-quality long-term relationship.
You benefit from having options because it reduces neediness and avoids the pitfall of oneitis, an unhealthy fixation on a single woman. With plenty of options, you get an abundance mindset and therefore become more charismatic and successful with women. It is seen as a long-term strategy to get a high-quality relationship because the theory is that, ironically, if you don't obsess about one woman too much, you have a greater chance of getting her.
It seems to me that Rollo's stance is that, although we ought to strive to minimize any potential harm in our interactions with women by being honest to the best of our capacity, there are no viable means to avoid inflicting any damage at all, no route to absolute positivity for her. Yet, despite this realization, he posits that it remains in the man's best interest to behave in such a way for the sake of his own personal advantage.
Rollo dismisses ethical criticism of Plate spinning by saying that they operate from the viewpoint of societal constructs aimed to curtail male dominance. However, by his very own premises, the act of juggling multiple women is inherently harmful, not just for the female, but perhaps even for the ethical tenets governing the actions of a responsible man.
Rollo contends that plate spinning is commendable, as it adheres to the male sexual imperative. The question arises - what exactly is this imperative, and why does it seem to disregard ethics?
Here are some statements from the book about ethics:
Screwing others is screwing yourself up.
Giving value makes you happier long term than taking value.
Lying and manipulation are unadvisable.
It's paradoxical that a man would bet on his "male sexual imperative," as Plate Theory prescribes, even though it leads to ethical and long-term dissatisfaction. Is a man not better off being happy and "not screwed up" in the sexual marketplace? The concept of giving value instead of taking it seems to be at odds with the ethic of advancing the male imperative at the expense of the female one.
Let's organize what Rollo is saying more succinctly:
1) Plate spinning is commendable because it optimizes your sexual success.
2) You should be ethical because it makes you successful/happy/not screwed up long term.
3) Ethical Game cannot work. You can't leave a woman better than you found her.
So it appears, my dear players, that we've got ourselves in a knot of contradictions. However, without discarding Rollo's apparently contradictory statements, there are a few things to consider in trying to resolve this.
Ways of gaining the benefit of plate spinning without sexual relations
According to a simple interpretation of Rollo's premise, one can offer another the gifts of memorable experiences and the treasures of personal growth, but it could be laid to waste in a single heated moment. Without the promise of permanence, the woman can become yet another defeated warrior of the ruthless battleground of biological imperatives with nothing but a dignity stolen, a heart shattered, and a soul scarred by a penetration far deeper than the depths of her sacred flesh.
It's inaccurate to say the exact moment of intercourse is the turning point of what makes a relationship disadvantageous for the woman. For starters, it isn't the only access to her sexuality or the only type of her investment.
Compared to everything that leads up to it, intercourse is not necessarily the all-emotionally-consuming, spiritually-bonding nuclear bomb some would make it out to be. The gentle touch of a hand, the meeting of lips, the collision of naked flesh, the playful exploration of our bodies' outer and inner regions, each of these steps holds significance in its own right. It should not be overshadowed by what is deemed to be the one and only significant act.
It's a mistake to fixate solely on the tangible, inside or outside, black or white, yes or no. Though the physical undoubtedly holds significance, the principles of evolutionary psychology cannot explain its mysterious power. We cannot neglect the importance of the intangible - the spiritual and the psychological states in which these actions lead up to and result.
Now, if we don't determine that having intercourse is the point where the relationship can be categorized as "leaving her worse than you found her," what is?
Of course, there is a certain degree of ethical accountability every step of the way. Rollo posits in his Plate theory essay that as long as you are honest with the woman, you bear no ethical responsibility for leaving her worse off. I respectfully disagree because it presupposes a simplified notion of truth that disregards the extent to which women are emotional creatures ;)
And in general, it's far too simplistic to say that honesty alleviates any moral responsibility from what you're causing.
Alternatively, we could try to reconcile the contradiction with an analogy of chess to push the idea that sexual imperatives are irrelevant in ethics.
When you set up a trap to win a game of chess and get ahead of your opponent, it doesn't necessarily mean you're being unethical. Instead, you're just playing the game more skillfully.
The teaching of Jesus: "whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them," is interesting in the context of a competition. You don't necessarily want your opponent to beat you in a chess game. But you also want your opponent to try their best and play the game with you - playing by the rules. There is a conflict of interest here, so we can see that ethics play on different dimensions where some rules apply and others don't.
The question is, then, do the sexual dynamics between men and women play in a contained, adversarial game like chess?
My problem with this interpretation is that sexual relationships, like any other type of human relationship, have both adversarial and complementary aspects. So it's not obvious why the ethical principles should not apply to this type of human relationship if it is not merely a justification for moral lack.
The problem lies in the inability to draw a clear distinction between "her" as an individual and "her sexual imperative" as an inherent facet of her being. Our sexual motives run deep and are woven into the fabric of our being. Attempting to bifurcate fundamental parts of our beings would grant us moral flexibility of great convenience: "I did not hurt you; I only hurt your sexual imperative," which is a strong incentive to be extra skeptical toward this line of thinking.
Questioning the "permanent fixture of your life" exception.
There seems to be a growing idea that the purpose of relationships is for the growth of the individual. Therefore, when they stagnate in their personal development, the function of the relationship has been fulfilled, and they move on to the next person who will be more instrumental to their self-actualization.
Thus, in this view, permanence or children is not necessary for a relationship to be win-win. This is advocated by those who believe our highest purpose is self-actualization, not establishing a family as soon as possible because of the pressures of the sexual market.
I will not opine on this individualistic outlook but rather emphasize that the truth we all know but sometimes forget. We should want to become the type of person we'd like our loved one to be. For a relationship to work - both have to be compatible in personal character and how you perceive relationships and the world. The best way to improve your relationships is to become the person you want to be with. This is a great motivation to be a better person.
Conclusion
I have to conclude that something is wrong with The Red Pill's premises.
Plate theory has its flaws. While I can appreciate that having an abundance of options makes a man even more likely to get more options, an abundance mindset does not necessarily require spinning plates. Moreover, believing it does has two negative consequences, firstly, men become even more desperate for sex and secondly, men tangle themselves up with women for all the wrong reasons.
But I completely understand it's a much better strategy than feeling morally obligated to only talk to one girl at a time. And then always end up blowing it because you start thinking about her too much and fail, then become depressed. That's not a good cycle.
The golden mean is to have an abundance mindset regardless. This is, of course, easier said than done, especially considering how our duty to fulfill our sexual imperative is such a cause of existential dread. But it's important to voice that not only is it possible, but it's also ideal. Unfortunately, there isn't enough emphasis on this in the manosphere.
On the whole, I see what Rollo is trying to do. He correctly exposes a problem where the well-being of women is becoming the only concern of society. For example, Hillary Clinton said: "Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat."
Obviously, I agree with Rollo. Men need to stop being a doormat for the female imperative. But what I believe ultimately, they need not be of disadvantage to the female imperative or female individuals in doing that.
What I believe in any human interaction, especially sexual relationships, is that the person who did the least amount of damage to the other person will have the healthier relationship next time around.
As I pointed out, there's no black-or-white ethical or unethical way to go about this. Even withholding intercourse or being completely honest, or even both, isn't a strong enough sun factor for the hot rays of emotional toll. (Weird analogy, I know.)
Regarding "you cannot leave a woman better than you found her," my main difficulty here is that I got problems with the premises. I can't, with good faith, make a clear line between the "female/male imperative" and the "personal imperative" or her "SMV" and "Life quality." There is too much overlap. It also presumes a false notion that the "sexual market value" is a universal numerical dimension scale. Everyone competes in the same market with the same currency and values.
Additionally, the idea that you're sabotaging someone's future contentment by having fun with them is highly questionable. There are many premises here that are up to scrutiny. I will explore them another day. More fundamentally, however, is my disagreement with the premise that the world is merely a physical place, that ethics is negotiable, and that there is a zero-sum game between sexual imperatives.
While men and women, like any other separate beings in the world, have conflicting interests in one paradigm, they share a more significant common purpose to pursue the same end. Ethical Game is about playing in the spirit of the sexual game with her - aligning it with the deeper games in which this power dynamic is encapsulated.
While "You cannot leave a woman better than you found her" rings true to many ears, so too with Plate Theory; they conflict when understood in a flawed paradigm.
While Game can be conceived as something seductive that only scheming losers need to learn because they can't get a woman by just being who they are, a better way of understanding "learning Game" is seeing it as unlearning limiting ideas, attitudes, and habits that we have implanted from social conditioning and trauma.
Learning Game is not about being less of yourself; it is about learning what is effective and unlearning what is not. You change personality when you let it sink in over time, so it shifts from explicit behavior to implicit identity. The problem with "Being who you are" is that we attach our identity to our beliefs, which come from outside ourselves; our families, our teachers, and the views of our society at large.
So, practicing Game and being oneself is a false dichotomy. Everyone has learned to a certain degree how to behave to be attractive to women. This may have come from implicit learning, such as watching role models, figures on TV, novels, etc., or explicit learning, such as family, friends, and teachers telling you how you ought to treat y'lady. The real dichotomy is Bad Game and Good Game.
An example of the confusion between Authenticity and Game is displayed in the Breadcrumbs chapter, which was great. Rollo writes how erotic tension is created out of mystery. However, problems arise when insecurity leads men to vomit out all their (carefully selected) personal details - because they think it will build intimacy.
His carefully tailored selection of personal details is designed to give her a favorable impression of him and make her feel comfortable around him. This is the default Game most guys do. And unlearning this and instead making her feel like she is "figuring you out using her feminine intuition" is just making the interaction more fun and authentic. Instead of telling her explicitly who you are, let her figure it out, and, based on your openness, you figure out who you are in the process, also. Learning Game principles is a round-about way to just being your more authentic self.
Red Pill theory originated from Game - what early pickup artists figured out in the field. It became its own thing when the community wanted to flesh out a more general theory of intersexual dynamics - without necessarily learning how to be good with women. This book is a sort of high school reunion between these two.
The Red Pill is about understanding and adapting to the raw reality of sexual dynamics, removing the blue-pill rose-tinted glasses of romantic idealism, spiritual optimism, and fem-centric social conditioning, and instead, providing a rational and pragmatic perspective grounded in evolutionary psychology, statistical analysis and collectively shared experience of men today.
It's a valuable paradigm to protect against suffering and the weak "blue pill" attitudes we eventually slide into.
While men need to learn and be aware of this stuff, the danger is that it's quickly taken for granted as an absolute fact; it becomes the primary lens you start viewing the world.
The problem is that it's based entirely on the physical realm. So it paints an animalistic predatory/prey, zero-sum, give/take picture of human relations. This is not ideal.
We can see how Rollo is in this paradigm by how most of his Youtube strategy is attacking other people to increase himself and gain more subscribers. There is so much negativity in the community, and there's no mystery as to why when Rollo himself is behaving like this. He makes videos attacking women who he and his fans, by default, assume has the worst of intentions. So now we end up in a part of the internet where grown-ass men gossip about who had sex with whom; assuming all women are subconsciously controlled by their instinct for hypergamy, all their actions can be explained as such.
The problem with paradigms is that they are self-reinforcing. You start seeing proof of them everywhere you go because your beliefs influence your perception. Moreover, it's not only your experience of the world that's changed by selective focus, but the crazy thing is that it changes to match your expectations.
In other words, models of reality and reality itself have a bidirectional relationship.
Rollo said he wanted to exclude his moral judgment in his Red pill literature, yet all his "objective facts" are highlighted. In contrast, others are ignored by subjective bias from his value system.
Having said all this. Rollo is the grandfather of The Red Pill - and he has a deep understanding of sexual dynamics and a solid grasp of Game, and he has contributed a ton to the common understanding of what the heck is going on around us. What's funny about Rollo is that he makes everyone feel blue-pilled.
The most interesting part of the book, for me, was how Rollo put tension between ethics and Game. Rollo discusses the short-lived push for "Ethical Game" in pickup circles, where players, witnessing the havoc they wreaked, wanted to leave girls better than they found her. This fad was short-lived, Rollo explains, because it's inherently contradictory with playing the game.
"Unless you intend to make her a permanent fixture in your life," writes Rollo, as he quashes this noble pursuit of aspiring knights in shining armor, "there is no way to leave her better than you found her."
Before understanding this claim, we must be aware of Rollo's underlying premises and the context.
The idea of alpha widowing is when a woman has great sex with a man she can't lock down and thus will never be satisfied with a lesser man in bed in the future. Additionally, for every man a woman has sex with, she becomes less capable of creating a deep emotional bond with her partner.
For each man she dates, she invests her limited sexual youth, her sexual agency, and her ability to pair bond. And every man she dates, according to Rollo, will always be a net loss for her if she doesn't get the ring, children, or a promise of permanent security.
An essential concept in understanding these premises is SMV—sexual market value. The idea here is that women's only real agency over men is their sexuality, and their sexual attractiveness generally declines from their mid-twenties.
In other words, men find older women with a rich sexual past (with guys who are hotter than themselves) generally less desirable for a permanent relationship, and being a single mom does not help.
This is interesting because if we consider ethics, Rollo's statement "you cannot leave her better off" seems contradictory to one of the cornerstones of Game - namely, that of plate spinning and, uh, just dating and having sex in general.
The concept of plate spinning is seeing multiple women simultaneously (without the deception of false exclusivity). It is a strategy for getting a larger range of options for sexual satisfaction and even pursuing a high-quality long-term relationship.
You benefit from having options because it reduces neediness and avoids the pitfall of oneitis, an unhealthy fixation on a single woman. With plenty of options, you get an abundance mindset and therefore become more charismatic and successful with women. It is seen as a long-term strategy to get a high-quality relationship because the theory is that, ironically, if you don't obsess about one woman too much, you have a greater chance of getting her.
It seems to me that Rollo's stance is that, although we ought to strive to minimize any potential harm in our interactions with women by being honest to the best of our capacity, there are no viable means to avoid inflicting any damage at all, no route to absolute positivity for her. Yet, despite this realization, he posits that it remains in the man's best interest to behave in such a way for the sake of his own personal advantage.
Rollo dismisses ethical criticism of Plate spinning by saying that they operate from the viewpoint of societal constructs aimed to curtail male dominance. However, by his very own premises, the act of juggling multiple women is inherently harmful, not just for the female, but perhaps even for the ethical tenets governing the actions of a responsible man.
Rollo contends that plate spinning is commendable, as it adheres to the male sexual imperative. The question arises - what exactly is this imperative, and why does it seem to disregard ethics?
Here are some statements from the book about ethics:
Screwing others is screwing yourself up.
Giving value makes you happier long term than taking value.
Lying and manipulation are unadvisable.
It's paradoxical that a man would bet on his "male sexual imperative," as Plate Theory prescribes, even though it leads to ethical and long-term dissatisfaction. Is a man not better off being happy and "not screwed up" in the sexual marketplace? The concept of giving value instead of taking it seems to be at odds with the ethic of advancing the male imperative at the expense of the female one.
Let's organize what Rollo is saying more succinctly:
1) Plate spinning is commendable because it optimizes your sexual success.
2) You should be ethical because it makes you successful/happy/not screwed up long term.
3) Ethical Game cannot work. You can't leave a woman better than you found her.
So it appears, my dear players, that we've got ourselves in a knot of contradictions. However, without discarding Rollo's apparently contradictory statements, there are a few things to consider in trying to resolve this.
Ways of gaining the benefit of plate spinning without sexual relations
According to a simple interpretation of Rollo's premise, one can offer another the gifts of memorable experiences and the treasures of personal growth, but it could be laid to waste in a single heated moment. Without the promise of permanence, the woman can become yet another defeated warrior of the ruthless battleground of biological imperatives with nothing but a dignity stolen, a heart shattered, and a soul scarred by a penetration far deeper than the depths of her sacred flesh.
It's inaccurate to say the exact moment of intercourse is the turning point of what makes a relationship disadvantageous for the woman. For starters, it isn't the only access to her sexuality or the only type of her investment.
Compared to everything that leads up to it, intercourse is not necessarily the all-emotionally-consuming, spiritually-bonding nuclear bomb some would make it out to be. The gentle touch of a hand, the meeting of lips, the collision of naked flesh, the playful exploration of our bodies' outer and inner regions, each of these steps holds significance in its own right. It should not be overshadowed by what is deemed to be the one and only significant act.
It's a mistake to fixate solely on the tangible, inside or outside, black or white, yes or no. Though the physical undoubtedly holds significance, the principles of evolutionary psychology cannot explain its mysterious power. We cannot neglect the importance of the intangible - the spiritual and the psychological states in which these actions lead up to and result.
Now, if we don't determine that having intercourse is the point where the relationship can be categorized as "leaving her worse than you found her," what is?
Of course, there is a certain degree of ethical accountability every step of the way. Rollo posits in his Plate theory essay that as long as you are honest with the woman, you bear no ethical responsibility for leaving her worse off. I respectfully disagree because it presupposes a simplified notion of truth that disregards the extent to which women are emotional creatures ;)
And in general, it's far too simplistic to say that honesty alleviates any moral responsibility from what you're causing.
Alternatively, we could try to reconcile the contradiction with an analogy of chess to push the idea that sexual imperatives are irrelevant in ethics.
When you set up a trap to win a game of chess and get ahead of your opponent, it doesn't necessarily mean you're being unethical. Instead, you're just playing the game more skillfully.
The teaching of Jesus: "whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them," is interesting in the context of a competition. You don't necessarily want your opponent to beat you in a chess game. But you also want your opponent to try their best and play the game with you - playing by the rules. There is a conflict of interest here, so we can see that ethics play on different dimensions where some rules apply and others don't.
The question is, then, do the sexual dynamics between men and women play in a contained, adversarial game like chess?
My problem with this interpretation is that sexual relationships, like any other type of human relationship, have both adversarial and complementary aspects. So it's not obvious why the ethical principles should not apply to this type of human relationship if it is not merely a justification for moral lack.
The problem lies in the inability to draw a clear distinction between "her" as an individual and "her sexual imperative" as an inherent facet of her being. Our sexual motives run deep and are woven into the fabric of our being. Attempting to bifurcate fundamental parts of our beings would grant us moral flexibility of great convenience: "I did not hurt you; I only hurt your sexual imperative," which is a strong incentive to be extra skeptical toward this line of thinking.
Questioning the "permanent fixture of your life" exception.
There seems to be a growing idea that the purpose of relationships is for the growth of the individual. Therefore, when they stagnate in their personal development, the function of the relationship has been fulfilled, and they move on to the next person who will be more instrumental to their self-actualization.
Thus, in this view, permanence or children is not necessary for a relationship to be win-win. This is advocated by those who believe our highest purpose is self-actualization, not establishing a family as soon as possible because of the pressures of the sexual market.
I will not opine on this individualistic outlook but rather emphasize that the truth we all know but sometimes forget. We should want to become the type of person we'd like our loved one to be. For a relationship to work - both have to be compatible in personal character and how you perceive relationships and the world. The best way to improve your relationships is to become the person you want to be with. This is a great motivation to be a better person.
Conclusion
I have to conclude that something is wrong with The Red Pill's premises.
Plate theory has its flaws. While I can appreciate that having an abundance of options makes a man even more likely to get more options, an abundance mindset does not necessarily require spinning plates. Moreover, believing it does has two negative consequences, firstly, men become even more desperate for sex and secondly, men tangle themselves up with women for all the wrong reasons.
But I completely understand it's a much better strategy than feeling morally obligated to only talk to one girl at a time. And then always end up blowing it because you start thinking about her too much and fail, then become depressed. That's not a good cycle.
The golden mean is to have an abundance mindset regardless. This is, of course, easier said than done, especially considering how our duty to fulfill our sexual imperative is such a cause of existential dread. But it's important to voice that not only is it possible, but it's also ideal. Unfortunately, there isn't enough emphasis on this in the manosphere.
On the whole, I see what Rollo is trying to do. He correctly exposes a problem where the well-being of women is becoming the only concern of society. For example, Hillary Clinton said: "Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat."
Obviously, I agree with Rollo. Men need to stop being a doormat for the female imperative. But what I believe ultimately, they need not be of disadvantage to the female imperative or female individuals in doing that.
What I believe in any human interaction, especially sexual relationships, is that the person who did the least amount of damage to the other person will have the healthier relationship next time around.
As I pointed out, there's no black-or-white ethical or unethical way to go about this. Even withholding intercourse or being completely honest, or even both, isn't a strong enough sun factor for the hot rays of emotional toll. (Weird analogy, I know.)
Regarding "you cannot leave a woman better than you found her," my main difficulty here is that I got problems with the premises. I can't, with good faith, make a clear line between the "female/male imperative" and the "personal imperative" or her "SMV" and "Life quality." There is too much overlap. It also presumes a false notion that the "sexual market value" is a universal numerical dimension scale. Everyone competes in the same market with the same currency and values.
Additionally, the idea that you're sabotaging someone's future contentment by having fun with them is highly questionable. There are many premises here that are up to scrutiny. I will explore them another day. More fundamentally, however, is my disagreement with the premise that the world is merely a physical place, that ethics is negotiable, and that there is a zero-sum game between sexual imperatives.
While men and women, like any other separate beings in the world, have conflicting interests in one paradigm, they share a more significant common purpose to pursue the same end. Ethical Game is about playing in the spirit of the sexual game with her - aligning it with the deeper games in which this power dynamic is encapsulated.
While "You cannot leave a woman better than you found her" rings true to many ears, so too with Plate Theory; they conflict when understood in a flawed paradigm.
June 16, 2022
-- Placeholder review to compensate sjw/femis trolls --
January 4, 2023
Tomassi is very smart but kind of crazy and very insecure. Worth reading for those interested in attracting short-term sexual partners since a small portion of his advice is highly useful, but I wouldn’t take this book too seriously in general. There many healthier and more versatile approaches out there.
November 11, 2023
A sad little book for small men needing to feel like they have the upper hand over women so they can use them.
This is for men that know that women are smarter and need to deceive them to get what they want, yet at the same time don't think women are equals.
They fear & hate women because don't understand them. Nothing more than injured little boys pretending to be men.
This is for men that know that women are smarter and need to deceive them to get what they want, yet at the same time don't think women are equals.
They fear & hate women because don't understand them. Nothing more than injured little boys pretending to be men.
June 20, 2022
Probably the most complete book regarding game, and gender dynamics I’ve read.
August 17, 2022
I've read many books of this sort, but this has been the worse yet. Goodness gracious never read
anything more ridiculous.
anything more ridiculous.
January 30, 2023
Helping to bring me out of depression
This book has given me tools and a framework to actually understand the decisions my ex made in regard to our relationship. I’ll never know for sure if what I learned in reading is precisely what drove her away from me, but I now have a framework for understanding the end that empowers me to make better decisions about women and how I comport myself around them in the future.
Sincerest gratitude to the author.
This book has given me tools and a framework to actually understand the decisions my ex made in regard to our relationship. I’ll never know for sure if what I learned in reading is precisely what drove her away from me, but I now have a framework for understanding the end that empowers me to make better decisions about women and how I comport myself around them in the future.
Sincerest gratitude to the author.
June 19, 2022
Great Researcher and Writer
Rollo Tomassi is doing God's work, sharing the Red Pill with Men. This is a book that talks about the Why and How of Game (as part of intersexual dynamics). This is one of many great resources that have helped me, build my life in Reality. Thank you Rollo
Rollo Tomassi is doing God's work, sharing the Red Pill with Men. This is a book that talks about the Why and How of Game (as part of intersexual dynamics). This is one of many great resources that have helped me, build my life in Reality. Thank you Rollo
April 23, 2022
laughable
This book is utterly ridiculous. This entire premise lacks understanding of even basic male/female relationships. “Men new to the game should practice on sub optimal (fat) women before they move on to prime women”
This book is utterly ridiculous. This entire premise lacks understanding of even basic male/female relationships. “Men new to the game should practice on sub optimal (fat) women before they move on to prime women”
May 5, 2022
Read this to conplete your education on intersexual dynamics
The book needs to be read by every male on the planet
The world would be a better place if this textbook is made mandatory in all schools
The book needs to be read by every male on the planet
The world would be a better place if this textbook is made mandatory in all schools
May 6, 2022
The icing on top of the four-series cake.
Must read for every man. Rollo never ceases to provide deep insight into intersexual dynamics. I'm of the opinion that it should be read after the second book of the series.
Must read for every man. Rollo never ceases to provide deep insight into intersexual dynamics. I'm of the opinion that it should be read after the second book of the series.
November 6, 2024
Felt like listening to a frat boy giving me advice the next day after a frat party with the meanest hangover. Some advice was cool, kind of had interesting connections, but the other stuff was nonsense. Didn’t start the series from the beginning, don’t believe I will.
May 8, 2022
rational male by far the best series of book! NO BS
Thank You Rollo! This is the book I would recommend for all the brothers out there. An absolute must read!
Thank You Rollo! This is the book I would recommend for all the brothers out there. An absolute must read!
May 21, 2022
Long live Rollo, the Godfather.
July 14, 2022
Another amazing book by Rollo Tamassi
Another amazing book by Rollo Tamassi.
Lessens taught here should be in school curriculum.
Will read again.... Like, straight away.
Another amazing book by Rollo Tamassi.
Lessens taught here should be in school curriculum.
Will read again.... Like, straight away.
January 26, 2026
I would title this: “The Rationalizing Male: How To Project, Deflect, and Avoid Reflection So You Keep Enjoying Casual Sex in Your Forties"
This Book Says:
-Men need to keep their options open and keep things ambiguous with women and deflect commitment talks.
-If a woman brings up “What are we” talk and asks for clarity or commitment, this is a “shit test” that you must not let her ���win” so be sure to deflect in a way that shows value and a “I’ll do what I want and you like that” and maintains frame and amused persona throughout.
-Women are hypergamous and always looking over their shoulder for a better option. They seek someone “above” their “sexual market value”
-Men are noble precisely because they will have sex with people that are less attractive, as attractive and more attractive so they’re “not picky” like women when it comes to sleeping “beneath them”
My Take:
I think when a man feels shame and guilt for being sexually compulsive and constantly seeking novelty sex, he writes books in which he:
1) Rationalizes compulsive, novelty seeking sex and calls it rational.
2) Projects his own “There’s always something new/better” hypergamy on women instead of owning it within himself.
3) Reframes the fact that because he has zero boundaries or standards and will fuck anyone of any attractive or personality range as a noble trait by talking about how men are willing to fuck anyone in any hierarchy, but women only fuck people they perceive as higher sexual marketplace value.
I think that it’s apparent why women have different standards and boundaries for sex: she carries the risk and responsibility of possible pregnancy, prioritizes safety, and tends to have responsive not spontaneous desire, so no, she’s not having sex with people as compulsively as men, but especially this particular man, because not all men have sex compulsively.
Another revealing rationalization the author emphasizes: “Women lose value mid thirties on and men gain value.”
This is about manufacturing leverage where there might not be any. It’s about saying to men, “Hey you CAN still fuck every new shiny person and delay any guilt or worry or nagging sense that you might need to confront your patterns when you’re turning forty."
Because without that belief, several uncomfortable truths surface:
Men age too (fertility, energy, adaptability, desirability)
Attraction is relational, not a stock market
Emotional availability, integrity, and attunement matter more with maturity
Many women become more discerning, resourced, and self-possessed with age, not desperate
While I prefer reading books with men written by women to not have to face this reductive, cruel, absurd caricature of women based on the BPD woman the author dated, it DOES reveal assumptions that many men have and play out in the dating scene and is worth being aware of. The writing style is also dynamic and engaging and NOT as psychopathic as it sounds. Truly is more bravado and armor than dark triad cackling, which helps get it down.
TLDR:
The Rational Male isn’t evolutionary truth; it’s a rationalization. It reframes compulsive sex and avoidance of commitment as rational and noble, projects hypergamy onto women, and manufactures age-based leverage to defer self-examination. Women’s sexual selectivity is mischaracterized as opportunism rather than risk-awareness and responsive desire. While the book is engaging and culturally revealing, it functions more as armor against reflection than as an honest model of attraction.
This Book Says:
-Men need to keep their options open and keep things ambiguous with women and deflect commitment talks.
-If a woman brings up “What are we” talk and asks for clarity or commitment, this is a “shit test” that you must not let her ���win” so be sure to deflect in a way that shows value and a “I’ll do what I want and you like that” and maintains frame and amused persona throughout.
-Women are hypergamous and always looking over their shoulder for a better option. They seek someone “above” their “sexual market value”
-Men are noble precisely because they will have sex with people that are less attractive, as attractive and more attractive so they’re “not picky” like women when it comes to sleeping “beneath them”
My Take:
I think when a man feels shame and guilt for being sexually compulsive and constantly seeking novelty sex, he writes books in which he:
1) Rationalizes compulsive, novelty seeking sex and calls it rational.
2) Projects his own “There’s always something new/better” hypergamy on women instead of owning it within himself.
3) Reframes the fact that because he has zero boundaries or standards and will fuck anyone of any attractive or personality range as a noble trait by talking about how men are willing to fuck anyone in any hierarchy, but women only fuck people they perceive as higher sexual marketplace value.
I think that it’s apparent why women have different standards and boundaries for sex: she carries the risk and responsibility of possible pregnancy, prioritizes safety, and tends to have responsive not spontaneous desire, so no, she’s not having sex with people as compulsively as men, but especially this particular man, because not all men have sex compulsively.
Another revealing rationalization the author emphasizes: “Women lose value mid thirties on and men gain value.”
This is about manufacturing leverage where there might not be any. It’s about saying to men, “Hey you CAN still fuck every new shiny person and delay any guilt or worry or nagging sense that you might need to confront your patterns when you’re turning forty."
Because without that belief, several uncomfortable truths surface:
Men age too (fertility, energy, adaptability, desirability)
Attraction is relational, not a stock market
Emotional availability, integrity, and attunement matter more with maturity
Many women become more discerning, resourced, and self-possessed with age, not desperate
While I prefer reading books with men written by women to not have to face this reductive, cruel, absurd caricature of women based on the BPD woman the author dated, it DOES reveal assumptions that many men have and play out in the dating scene and is worth being aware of. The writing style is also dynamic and engaging and NOT as psychopathic as it sounds. Truly is more bravado and armor than dark triad cackling, which helps get it down.
TLDR:
The Rational Male isn’t evolutionary truth; it’s a rationalization. It reframes compulsive sex and avoidance of commitment as rational and noble, projects hypergamy onto women, and manufactures age-based leverage to defer self-examination. Women’s sexual selectivity is mischaracterized as opportunism rather than risk-awareness and responsive desire. While the book is engaging and culturally revealing, it functions more as armor against reflection than as an honest model of attraction.
December 19, 2022
This is a classical Red Pill book. The majority of the content is repeated from Rollo’s prior work and conveys “she is not yours, it is just your turn” type of ideas
It seems the community has hit its limits years ago and now everyone just repeats the same ideas as a mantra. The place has become extremely toxic where any guy with a camera and a mic calls everyone else “alpha” or “beta” every 10 seconds
I liked Rollo’s phrase that I heard a couple of years ago about MGTOW that it is a nice place to visit but you don’t want to stay there. I think the same can be applied to The Red Pill nowadays
The book has some interesting ideas that can be quite practical like the parts about brand management. At the same time, there are also at least a dozen of other ideas that are far away from reality and don’t make sense
Some parts of the book are extremely cringy that make you want just to skip the content, i.e. how to open a girl… I mean… why this kind of nonsense is even needed there? It is also kind of useless since everyone who hasn’t done any openers will be blind to the info and everyone else who can do it simply just doesn’t need it
Rollo talks about how Game becomes a part of your default behavior over time. I think it can also be applied to The Red Pill as well. First, you learn it, then you integrate it and then you go past The Red Pill. At this point, I’m glad that I “left” The Red Pill 2-3 years ago since I think it is going to the wrong direction right now. Some people call it the manosphere, I think it should be renamed to “the boys sphere”
My personal takeaways:
- Dating in the 21st century is all about Brand Management
- Today, average women don’t want average men
- Self-improvement: make money, make muscles, learn Game
- Allow her imagination to fill in the blanks for her
- Women would rather play the Game than be told that they are playing the Game
- Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially if she is physically attractive
- Be her drug dealer - attention management
- The ultimate form of Peacocking is having an incredible physique and a good style
- The workplace and the gym are not sexual zones
- The best possible DHV with the most physically attractive women is just to be normal
- Nexting can also be applied to other relationships outside of dating
- Game should not be something that you do, it should be something that you are
It seems the community has hit its limits years ago and now everyone just repeats the same ideas as a mantra. The place has become extremely toxic where any guy with a camera and a mic calls everyone else “alpha” or “beta” every 10 seconds
I liked Rollo’s phrase that I heard a couple of years ago about MGTOW that it is a nice place to visit but you don’t want to stay there. I think the same can be applied to The Red Pill nowadays
The book has some interesting ideas that can be quite practical like the parts about brand management. At the same time, there are also at least a dozen of other ideas that are far away from reality and don’t make sense
Some parts of the book are extremely cringy that make you want just to skip the content, i.e. how to open a girl… I mean… why this kind of nonsense is even needed there? It is also kind of useless since everyone who hasn’t done any openers will be blind to the info and everyone else who can do it simply just doesn’t need it
Rollo talks about how Game becomes a part of your default behavior over time. I think it can also be applied to The Red Pill as well. First, you learn it, then you integrate it and then you go past The Red Pill. At this point, I’m glad that I “left” The Red Pill 2-3 years ago since I think it is going to the wrong direction right now. Some people call it the manosphere, I think it should be renamed to “the boys sphere”
My personal takeaways:
- Dating in the 21st century is all about Brand Management
- Today, average women don’t want average men
- Self-improvement: make money, make muscles, learn Game
- Allow her imagination to fill in the blanks for her
- Women would rather play the Game than be told that they are playing the Game
- Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially if she is physically attractive
- Be her drug dealer - attention management
- The ultimate form of Peacocking is having an incredible physique and a good style
- The workplace and the gym are not sexual zones
- The best possible DHV with the most physically attractive women is just to be normal
- Nexting can also be applied to other relationships outside of dating
- Game should not be something that you do, it should be something that you are
November 18, 2025
Surprisingly good book with a couple serious flaws. Its main points are quite reasonable:
1. Women and men's psychology and incentives in relation to flirting, love, and sex are different.
2. Many people play a "Game" of flirting in everyday life.
3. And being unaware of the above two points can lead you to depression and ultimately suicide, as a man.
I began reading the book simply because I notice many women playing weird games (something I've been lucky to avoid in my relationships) that I intuitively understand but that I do not have much literature on. As a cognitive scientist, it's a topic that research doesn't look much at because it is inherently "spicy" but that I think most people know has a lot of relevance to life.
And while it's not optimal that the resulting literature comes out of the same people's mouths that "neg" women (deliberately berate women to make them feel worse about themselves for ease-of-flirting), I think a surprising amount of what is written in the book is true.
I especially think this may be a valuable book to read for someone who struggle socially, since they may end up screwed if they don't know a game is being played.
With this said, it would've been four stars if there were more scientific references (instead of "Of course this is how it is") and a female co-author or at least the first-person perspective of a woman in the whole book...
1. Women and men's psychology and incentives in relation to flirting, love, and sex are different.
2. Many people play a "Game" of flirting in everyday life.
3. And being unaware of the above two points can lead you to depression and ultimately suicide, as a man.
I began reading the book simply because I notice many women playing weird games (something I've been lucky to avoid in my relationships) that I intuitively understand but that I do not have much literature on. As a cognitive scientist, it's a topic that research doesn't look much at because it is inherently "spicy" but that I think most people know has a lot of relevance to life.
And while it's not optimal that the resulting literature comes out of the same people's mouths that "neg" women (deliberately berate women to make them feel worse about themselves for ease-of-flirting), I think a surprising amount of what is written in the book is true.
I especially think this may be a valuable book to read for someone who struggle socially, since they may end up screwed if they don't know a game is being played.
With this said, it would've been four stars if there were more scientific references (instead of "Of course this is how it is") and a female co-author or at least the first-person perspective of a woman in the whole book...
November 5, 2022
Done and dusted. This is the last book in Rollo's 'The Rational Male' series. Over the course of the past 4 or so months I've indulged in his books right from the first one to this last one. I have gathered some valuable insights that are key in helping me not only with my interactions with women but also with my fellow men. For me, Red Pill awareness isn't about racking up a lay count into the hundreds as some might think. Its utility is in helping me get unplugged from blue pill conditioning that is basically shoved down your throat right from when you come out of your mom's womb. It has helped me even appreciate my Dad more and how he raised me. Socially, a Dad's role is always seen to be peripheral and almost like a good-to-have but not necessary. From reading Rollo's work, I definitely have some useful ideas about everything from winning in the Sexual Market Place or SMP as he likes to call it, to being a better husband and father. Now as has been recommended to me by a couple of acquaintances, my next read in my Red Pill awareness journey is 'The Way of the Superior Man' by David Deida.
November 13, 2025
I’m not sure what to think after reading through that. I had a roller coaster of “that’s dumb”, “aha!”, and “wait a second…” moments. I didn’t even think the book offered much after reading the beginning, however, it gets Better as it progresses. I’ve seen content and read books before on Game but never wrapped up in what is “Red Pill”.
If you’re a Blue Pill guy like me, you’ll question the morality of certain things Rollo goes over. But you find yourself puzzled, and maybe adopting a different code of ethics. At least when it comes to intersexual dynamics. I don’t fully agree with him, but he has given me plenty to think about and practice on.
Something I would change is the layout of the book. I think it’s random, the chapters don’t flow together as would be expected in a handbook. It’s more of a compilation of Red Pill lessons that frequently go back to parts where you think Rollo dealt with already earlier in the book. Maybe it’s because this was suppose to be the last volume of his “Rational Male” series and I have to read his first one, first. I don’t know.
However, don’t let that deter you, Read This Book!
If you’re a Blue Pill guy like me, you’ll question the morality of certain things Rollo goes over. But you find yourself puzzled, and maybe adopting a different code of ethics. At least when it comes to intersexual dynamics. I don’t fully agree with him, but he has given me plenty to think about and practice on.
Something I would change is the layout of the book. I think it’s random, the chapters don’t flow together as would be expected in a handbook. It’s more of a compilation of Red Pill lessons that frequently go back to parts where you think Rollo dealt with already earlier in the book. Maybe it’s because this was suppose to be the last volume of his “Rational Male” series and I have to read his first one, first. I don’t know.
However, don’t let that deter you, Read This Book!
September 10, 2023
This book serves as an insightful guide into the deeper mechanics of social dynamics, relationships, and self-improvement. While the focus is on understanding interpersonal interactions, the lessons go far beyond that, offering a comprehensive framework for personal growth and self-awareness. The depth of psychological insight presented is staggering, yet Tomassi manages to convey these complex ideas in an accessible manner.
What truly sets this book apart is its balanced approach to theory and application. Tomassi doesn't just give you concepts; he provides actionable steps and real-world scenarios that make the material instantly applicable to your life. This book is not just a read; it's an experience that encourages introspection and personal evolution. Whether you're interested in improving your relationships, boosting your confidence, or understanding the intricacies of human behavior, This book offers invaluable insights that can benefit anyone willing to dive in. An essential read that I highly recommend
What truly sets this book apart is its balanced approach to theory and application. Tomassi doesn't just give you concepts; he provides actionable steps and real-world scenarios that make the material instantly applicable to your life. This book is not just a read; it's an experience that encourages introspection and personal evolution. Whether you're interested in improving your relationships, boosting your confidence, or understanding the intricacies of human behavior, This book offers invaluable insights that can benefit anyone willing to dive in. An essential read that I highly recommend
May 17, 2025
This is a valuable and provocative read that delves into the complex and often misunderstood dynamics between men and women, especially in the context of attraction, dating, and interpersonal power. The Player’s Handbook builds on Tomassi’s earlier work by offering pragmatic strategies grounded in the so-called “red pill” philosophy.
One of the book’s strengths is its focus on masculine self-discipline and emotional autonomy. Rather than teaching men to manipulate or deceive, Tomassi emphasizes the importance of self-respect, controlled emotional investment, and a consistent masculine frame. It’s about becoming the kind of man who naturally commands respect and interest—rather than chasing validation or over-explaining his worth.
One of the book’s strengths is its focus on masculine self-discipline and emotional autonomy. Rather than teaching men to manipulate or deceive, Tomassi emphasizes the importance of self-respect, controlled emotional investment, and a consistent masculine frame. It’s about becoming the kind of man who naturally commands respect and interest—rather than chasing validation or over-explaining his worth.
June 15, 2025
Good starter for any "red-piller". The topics feel a bit disjointed and some parts are repetitive but that might be the point to drill in the advice. I however view dating as a literal game. In my work: Charlotte’s Game: The secret strategies of modern dating, why we play them, and how to disarm the battle of the sexes, I unpack dating in a series of levels, missions, and strategies. It's better not just to RUN game but to learn how the game is really played.
June 3, 2023
Good information book. Completely useless unless you practice it.
Strenghts:
--> Not super technical, meaning a lot of has to do with your personality and conversational skills, which like a video game you can level up and eventually branches off and boosts other parts of your life
--> Reading this book saves you from going through all those youtube vidoes, reddit posts, and pickup forums.
--> Easy to understand language with lots of examples for each piece of "game"
Overall good read. Just like the rest of Rollo's books.
Strenghts:
--> Not super technical, meaning a lot of has to do with your personality and conversational skills, which like a video game you can level up and eventually branches off and boosts other parts of your life
--> Reading this book saves you from going through all those youtube vidoes, reddit posts, and pickup forums.
--> Easy to understand language with lots of examples for each piece of "game"
Overall good read. Just like the rest of Rollo's books.
September 25, 2022
It definitely has some interesting points and I enjoyed it, but the book is so diluted. It could have been WAY shorter for the amount of information it offered. Acronyms are heavily used and not in a good way. The author can't expect us to follow all these acronyms.
The author mentions multiple "research studies" and statistics without any citation of said studies or statistics.
My advice is to skim the book and you'll get enough from it.
The author mentions multiple "research studies" and statistics without any citation of said studies or statistics.
My advice is to skim the book and you'll get enough from it.
October 17, 2022
I was very happy to see that Rollo came out with a book. This is another book that is highly recommended. This book surprised me because I had expectations about how this book on game would be like, but this book goes much deeper than just what to say to women in game, but how men should be the game. This book covers not only game, but the issues and harsh realities that men face in this matrix.
July 7, 2024
I'd say it's his best work, and sums up all the previous books. Genuine desire can not be negotiated! How true. To succeed in the dynamics of attraction and relationships, cultivate an aura of authority and social dominance. Women are drawn to men who exude confidence and command respect. Understand that women test men to ascertain their value, and these tests should be handled with ease and confidence.
September 20, 2025
My friend had this book on his shelf. I read the back, i was definitely intrigued.
I wouldn't have thought it would have been so god damn helpful in understanding the way and how guys play the game. You can apply some of these techniques not only to dating but in work life. I'd recommend reading the first book of his to understand the whole blue pill/red pill concept and the alpha/beta male.
The smartest self help book for guys around. Ladies READ THIS
I wouldn't have thought it would have been so god damn helpful in understanding the way and how guys play the game. You can apply some of these techniques not only to dating but in work life. I'd recommend reading the first book of his to understand the whole blue pill/red pill concept and the alpha/beta male.
The smartest self help book for guys around. Ladies READ THIS
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