Exalted

by Anna Dorn

Emily Forrest runs Exalted, the hottest astrology account on Instagram, from her studio apartment in Los Angeles. Burned out on meme-making and listicles, Emily's passion for astrology is waning despite her gift for deciphering the signs, until she comes across a birth-chart that could potentially change her mind. Beau Rubidoux's planets are aligned, each paired with its optimum sign--his chart is exalted. She decides that Beau, a well-connected photographer in Echo Park, could potentially be the love of her life and help her fulfill her true destiny: to be a star.

Meanwhile in Riverside, Dawn Webster has been dumped once again. At forty-eight, she is forced to return to the same restaurant where she started waiting tables at eighteen. With no girlfriend, no career, and her only son gone to Hollywood, the once-vivacious Dawn is aimless and alone. She guzzles cheap champagne and checks Exalted to feel seen. She is a fiery Leo, and one day she will get her due.

Alternating between Emily and Dawn's points of view, Exalted is a deliciously dark novel that explores desire, the projection of our need for love, and what we're really searching for when we keep scrolling. Anna Dorn's signature wit and biting social commentary takes listeners across Southern California until Emily and Dawn's shocking connection is finally revealed.

Genres: Fiction, Queer, Contemporary, LGBT, Romance, Lesbian, Literary Fiction

293 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 7, 2022

About the author

Anna Dorn is the author of Perfume & Pain, Exalted, Bad Lawyer, and Vagablonde. She was a Lambda Literary Fellow and Exalted was a finalist for the L.A. Times Book Prize. Her next novel, American Spirits, is forthcoming from Simon & Schuster. She lives in Los Angeles.

Reviews

[Sunny Lu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Psychosis is sooo important for a bitch like me (gemini and cancer stellium)

[Jan Agaton · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE TWIST HAD ME SCREAMING FOR DAYS. I DID NOT COME HERE FOR THIS BUT I WAS ALLLLL IN 😂😂

[Cody · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don’t ya just LOVE when a book comes into your life out of the blue and it ends up becoming a favorite? Like, read-in-one-sitting favorite? Exalted is exactly that for me.

I must admit maybe I’m a little biased: I’m very much into astrology. I know my entire chart: my houses and placements and degrees. I also know details of the charts of my closest friends, and it’s a common thing for me to ask someone what their sign is. Even if you don’t believe in astrology, you have to admit it can be FUN. And that’s also what this book is: FUN, even though the characters herein aren’t the most likable… they’re still charming. Funny. And this story is very now.

We follow two main characters, Emily and Dawn, and find out how their lives eventually intertwine. The “twist” almost didn’t work for me, but the author stuck the landing with literally the last line of the book. I am impressed. She took something corny and turned it into something memorable and sweet. Emily (Scorpio) is a burnt out Instagram astrologer and Dawn (Leo) is a burnt out aging woman still unsure exactly where her life is going. The story unspools from there, with most of the drama simply coming from their interpersonal relationships and pursuits of romantic relationships, all while exploring astrology along the way.

What I loved most about this novel is it isn’t inherently pro-astrology. Emily often says she thinks astrology is a scam, or maybe a scam, but it still “feels” right. I get that. I would never argue with someone who doesn’t believe in astrology because I know it isn’t a proven science; it’s just fun. With the world falling down around our ears, what’s wrong with trying to learn more about ourselves and others? It’s a nice distraction.

I can’t say enough good things about this book. Quick, witty, modern, I couldn’t put it down and I’m going to recommend it to everyone I know! I’m obsessed. What can I say, I’m a Scorpio.

[Anna Dorn · Rating 5 out of 5]

demented..........

[Zoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

imagine me finishing this on a flight. imagine. im gagged. wild. truly had no clue what was going to happen next. obsessed

[Jillian B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Astrologer Emily is stunned when she sees her client Beau’s birth chart. It’s the most beautiful alignment of the stars that she’s ever seen. She trades her Juicy tracksuit for a shift dress and begins to follow Beau around while plotting how to seduce him.

48-year-old waitress Dawn is trying to date in the L.A. suburbs, which is not easy when her ex-girlfriend has told everyone the story of the time she got mad and lit her car on fire. But she isn’t going to let a little thing like a diagnosed personality disorder get in the way of finding true love.

This book is told from both women’s points of views, as we watch their separate lives intersect.

This book is absolutely UNHINGED and I loved every second of it. It’s been a while since a book has literally made me cackle out loud. I have zero interest in astrology and even less knowledge about it and I am still so obsessed with this novel.

This one’s for everyone with that Instagram friend who won’t stop sharing Leo memes 😂

[Chesco Ferrara · Rating 4 out of 5]

"SpaceX is really romantic if you think about it, just a bunch of Pisces launching rockets into the sky" HELPPPPPP LOL

[Marina · Rating 1 out of 5]

terribly unfunny with its constant use of homophobia as a joke and demonization of BPD. every character is insufferable, i get it, it's satire, that's the point, but a book needs more substance, reading about nihilistic self-hating millennials who never grow and continue to treat people horribly gets tiring.
now, the thing that bothered me the most was the dismissal of astrology as something fun, good for memes, but not to be taken seriously. astrology has existed for thousands of years and to this day it's still used in many different cultures, there's a variety of systems and traditions, but the author never acknowledges it, which makes me feel like they chose to use astrology as a plot point only because it's "trendy". that way, other people will finish this book and think "see? astrology is a scam", while continuing to disrespect the practice.

[Robyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m ok with unlikeable characters - in fact I usually prefer them - but an unlikeable character needs some sort of redeeming quality or character growth to make them interesting to read. Both the protagonists here lacked both of those things and were mostly just irritating, and it was painfully boring to read all the crappy decisions they made. I guessed the “twist” as to the relation between the characters less than a quarter into the book, and both of the big reveals felt underwhelming in the character’s reactions. Unfortunately there are a few editing mistakes I caught too. If you’re going to call a character a spoof fake name after a celebrity, you should at least make sure you don’t accidentally slip up and use the celebrity’s real name. I did like the depiction of the female friendships but that was a small blip of decency in an otherwise disappointing read.

[jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

i binged this in one sitting it was so funny and so bleak and ugh the irony!!!!!!! this was a literal train wreck that i couldn’t tear my eyes from. my only complaint was dawn’s povs, i think focusing on emily/bo/thomas would have been stronger but overall this was like being on crack. this book fired me up — for what, i don’t know — but i sort of feel invincible?
4 stars

4.25.23: i love when books actually make me lol in real life…

[Rachels_booknook_ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know why I'm giving this book 5 stars, it probably deserves 4. I think because it is so confident in how unhinged it is, and I couldn't put it down. Dorn's writing is very addictive. Her books are loosely connected, and the protagonists seem to be some version of the author and are all unapologetically savage. You sort of know what you're getting into after the first one, so if you don't like the first book you pick up I would probably not recommend the others. (I would start with Perfume & Pain though.) The twists in this one aren't shocking because of the obvious set up, but the fact that things go so far IS shocking. I kept thinking that there might be a vague implication if anything but this book is wild. I also don't believe in astrology, but the way Anna Dorn writes about it is super entertaining. Despite the fact that she says that all signs are part of the universal human experience and we can all see bits of ourselves in all signs, the burns she delivers for each sign do feel accurate, which is funny. But what do I know, I'm a vapid and flaky Libra.

[Huxley H · Rating 1 out of 5]

it blows my mind that i haven’t seen anyone else talk about the fact that the astrology in this book is not even accurate. we’re talking scientifically impossible birth charts. we’re talking scorpio suns with leo mercuries. HUH???? this goes beyond satire, this is straight up an author capitalizing on a trend that they spent little time researching (or even trying to understand) beyond memes. don’t even get me started on the quirkification of mental health diagnoses. it pains me that this book has such a high rating, and based on the other low ratings i’ve seen, hate-reading this all the way through isn’t going to make me feel any sense of closure. if i manage to not DNF this, blame my scorpio moon.

[daniella · Rating 1 out of 5]

what did i just read 😶

[Yasmine · Rating 4 out of 5]

THE ENDING OF THIS BOOK, THE UNEXPECTED TWIST ‼️ I AM SCREAMING

This dark satire book is about two pretty unlikeable, delusional characters and more not quite likable but not unlikable characters that collectively make the story and their lives. I was laughing out loud while reading this, it was just so comical and unexpected. The LA county setting, the reliability of obsessing over zodiac signs in this day and age, and just the thoughts of these women were unhinged. The most PERFECT word for this book is UNHINGED.

Justice for Cinnamon, the one character I did really like! But I loved this story. It's unforgettable.

[Kayleigh · Rating 1 out of 5]

I rarely ever write reviews, especially poor ones, but woah. I understand what this book was trying to do, but these characters' unyielding homophobia, sexism, and toxic commentary on mental health was mind-blowing. Even though they're written as "obviously" immoral, at times, it felt like the author believed what she was writing. Also, INCEST as the story's major plotline??? Anything else. We spend 200+ pages following Emily and Dawn through the same toxic escapades for little to no payoff. Last thing—I'm an astrology girlie through and through, but the use of astrology here felt so forced and repetitive. Wanted to love it, but I didn't.

[Holly Fahey · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was so unhinged and i was living for it

[Taylor Jeromos · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why is everyone excited about a book full of abusive & mean people who don’t change or grow….at all????? It’s not cute to be a hot mess.

[L A i N E Y (will be back) · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a pleasant surprise this book was! It's messy and absurd but totally in the best way. Anna Dorn writes characters with great voices, I'm looking forward to read more of her work for sure.

[Devi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was cuckoo bananas. Skip the audiobook. The narrator sounded robotic as hell. I switched to physical reading and saved myself from despising the book.

[Lyn]

I cannot explain how much I loved this book. Two women use astrology as an excuse to be terrible people, and they become sympathetic but not better people. Especially if the ending is anything to go by.

[Olivera · Rating 5 out of 5]

entertainment 10/10

[J Bot · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was torn about how many starts to give this. I went with the feeling that lingered after I finished.

I don’t normally read books like this. I’m mostly into dark romance, dark academia, horror….but I saw this book on Tiktok and not only was the cover pretty but it sounded interesting.

I know people in person with borderline personality disorder and reading the dialogue of characters with such character flaws really made me squirm but not in a good way. I literally had to put it down and do something else every 1-2 chapters.

Halfway through I didn’t know how much more I could take. I started reading reviews and noticed there is supposed to be a huge plot twist, so pushed on.

I’m so happy I kept reading. When I got to the plot twist I was reading in my backyard while my dogs were playing and I cackled out loud. The camera in the kitchen that faces my back yard windows caught me yelling out loud.

It was worth it.

[Morgan · Rating 2 out of 5]

i have mixed feelings about this book because emily’s pov was hilarious and if the entire book had just been her i think it would’ve worked better for me, although i guess not as well for setting up the *big* twist…. which i guessed anyway. i understand that this book is satire and the characters are not good people but some of the parts in dawn’s pov made me feel like the author does actually have real beef with lesbians and maybe shouldn’t use homophobia for laughs 🤷🏻‍♀️

[QUYNH NGUYEN · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice fun read. Guarantee too get you out of a reading slump but what was the point again?
The plot twist is kinda fire tho

[Mayrose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Morally ambiguous mentally ill women are at it again

[Bea · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated every second of this book. It was gross, unfunny, and boring. I’m a fan of anti hero’s but these two were fully unlikable. And the twist was gross. I changed my mind from 2 stars to 1. I’d love to have the time I wasted on this book back

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty, irreverent, & ABSURD! I loved every minute of this.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW, my next read has a lot to live up to!!! It's hard to imagine a book beating this for my favorite read of the year. And I listened to Bunny by Mona Awad twice consecutively this year, so...
If you're a part of the absolutely unhinged feminist rage reading movement such as myself, this is a must-read. If you've seen It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, imagine that level of horrible characters--perhaps even worse! Dawn and Emily, our two alternating POVs, are both downright despicable and I LOVED IT. This is one of the most highly entertaining books I've EVER read. And I had the plot almost completely figured out by 60% and still enjoyed it soooo much and was surprised by the last 10 pages or so... What fun!
AHHHH you know when you just immediately love something so much that it's hard to even formulate proper, cohesive thoughts about it? No? Just me with this book? Okay.
Anna Dorn literally completely changed my view on satire in 293 pages. Amazing. Read it!!! lol

[heyysamara · Rating 4 out of 5]

An incredibly unhinged book about identity, obsession, mental illness, friendship, and family. Anna Dorn wrote an addictive and vibey trainwreck of a story that you won’t be able put down.

And then there’s THAT TWIST, good lord. Pure savagery.

3.5, rounded up to 4/5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

love love love this wild, hilarious, unforgettable novel