If I Were You, I'd Kill Myself

by Imani Barbarin

An unapologetic, hilarious, and triumphant debut memoir about the inequality those in the disabled community face on a daily basis from a valued voice and TikTok star Imani Barbarin.

Imani was two years old when she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, a congenital disorder and motor disability that affected her ability to walk without the aid of crutches. Because of her condition, Imani has spent her life enduring unsolicited and audacious comments from able-bodied people who find her presence discomforting.

Whether she’s reminded that she’s “inspiring” for existing, “pretty for a disabled girl,” or that she’s “brave” because if they were her, they’d “kill themselves,” Imani understands that the compliments intended to make her feel better about herself actually inspires a deep pity for the person who believes themselves to be doing her a favor. If I Were You, I’d Kill Myself is a sardonically witty, candid, and incisive memoir that views contemporary issues through a queer disabled lens.

Genres: Disability, Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography

Hardcover

Expected publication March 1, 2027

Reviews

[Michelle (around - catching up!) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never pre ordered a book quicker.

[Sage · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for the DRC, S&S. This memoir was rad as hell and I really enjoyed it. A fast paced read, Imani Barbarin takes us through her life—dealing with surgeries and physical therapy (my sister is disabled and also calls it physical torture so that made me laugh!), confronting bullies at school, never feeling at home in her own skin. I have many feelings and highlighted a bunch of passages.

Able-bodied people will never understand the sheer calculations that disabled people have to go through to simply LIVE. Even me speaking as an able-bodied person with two disabled siblings (my brother had cerebral palsy, but it was much more severe than Imani’s), I get it but I don’t GET it, if that makes sense. I saw a lot of my parents in Imani’s fiercely loving and advocacy-focused parents. We’re so blessed with parents like that.

This book made me FEEL so many things, and it made me miss my triplet brother (he died in January 2026 and our birthday is this week so I’m a raw fucking nerve) so much. I cried on the floor while reading this book, but then I would turn the page and cackle at Imani recounting her (CORRECT) beef with that woman at the gym who inadvertently gave Imani the title of this book. Because what the FUCK is wrong with that woman???? I have some thoughts but I wish that she steps on a Lego every day for the rest of her life because the AUDACITY to say that to someone was jaw-dropping. I also appreciated the context about the ADA and Covid experiences. And I was THRILLED that Imani — ope, I went to write more and somehow all my highlighted passages have disappeared from my DRC 😭 Anyway. Also really appreciated the conversation around disability and body positivity and mental health etc. Love that Imani pursed a graduate program in PARIS, how dreamy!!!