Watch Out for Pirates: Tales From a Travel Writer's Life

by Jules Brown

“Left at 11am to go pirate-hunting.” Wait, what?

When Jules reads his grandfather’s diary, he discovers he’s not the first in his family with travel stories to tell.

Looking for his own adventures, Jules crosses continents while learning the ropes as a Rough Guide writer. And because travel is unpredictable, there’s no knowing what his next trip will bring.

Surviving the outback, drunk by breakfast time in Montenegro, asked to sing at a Sicilian wedding, appearing as Santa in a Portuguese school – the life of a travel writer can take a wrong turn now and again.

From scary lizards to Highland warriors, it seems that pirates are not the only things to worry about when you’re born to travel.

Genres: Travel, Memoir, Nonfiction, Humor

208 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 24, 2022

About the author

I've been a pro travel writer for over 30 years, writing Rough Guides and other stuff, and living in places from Sicily to New Zealand. You might even have had one of my guidebooks along for the ride in your travel bag - in which case, happy to have helped!

I also blog at www.julestoldme.com, sharing travel stories, travel-writing tips, videos and inspiring destinations - see you there, and happy travels.

Reviews

[Lisa Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jules Brown is a born travel writer. He is also a raconteur extraordinaire. In this, the third of his tales from a travel writer's life series, Jules once more takes us into his world of travel and travel writing. From packing tips to balloon rides and living the dream in Portugal to crossing Australia by camper van, Jules regales us with travel stories of derring-do, lots of laughs, and a few tears.
Although Jules writes about travel for a living, we can all empathise with his travel tales. High anxiety in Bangkok for a first-time traveller, toe-curling tipping calamities in the US, slumming it in hostels around the world, an unexpected romantic breakfast in England, or a terrifying balloon ride over Luxor; it’s a hard job but someone has to do it!

[Heidi Slowinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the third installment of his travel memoirs, Jules Brown regales his readers with anecdotes from his years of experiences. Taking inspiration from a travel diary he discovered, belonging to his grandfather, Brown incorporates a generational take in this book.

This is my third book by Brown and I enjoy each one more than the last. Brown brings a sharp wit to his writing that feels more like traveling with a friend than someone telling the reader about a place. This collection of stories spans Brown’s decades of experience as a travel writer. His stories move from humorous to touching in a way that kept me engaged as I moved from one to the next.

Brown closes out this collection with some helpful advice for travelers and tourists, as any good travel book should have. This is a relatable book for anyone who has traveled a great deal and a great entertainment for a quiet afternoon.

I was delighted to receive an advanced copy of this book from the author in exchange for my honest review.

[Valerie Poore · Rating 5 out of 5]

This new book from Jules Brown is a great third in his series of anecdotal travel memoirs. Following the same pattern as his first two books, (Don't Eat the Puffin, and Never Pack an Ice Axe), Watch Out for Pirates is a diverse collection of stories spanning the decades of his life as a travel writer. I love Jules's writing, so was already predisposed to enjoy it, and this collection didn't let me down at all.

From the funny descriptions of his first encounters with Bangkok, to a touching tour through Scotland with his beloved, the stories sweep across the world and the decades. They even include a humorous account of his father's and grandfather's take on travel, which I loved. Jules writes with beautiful flexibility and is a true wordsmith whose style seems as effortless as it is fluid. He is both witty and serious; honest and real. He also manages to be sensitive, self-deprecating and sympathetic, all of which makes the reader feel personally involved with his experiences. I laughed, I gasped, and felt several tugs at my heart-strings. Lovely!

The last few chapters of the book offer some great trips to tourists and travellers. Overall, Watch Out for Pirates is a gem, and not to be missed. I received the book as an ARC copy and give it an unstinting 5 stars.

[Rosie Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

Watch Out for Pirates: Tales From a Travel Writer's Life (book #3). Jules Brown has been a travel writer for more than thirty years—he has a lot of mileage under his belt and he’s been to places all over the world.

This series contains anecdotes from places Jules has been to, his seemingly random musings about people and places. For instance, the chapter on New York is all about getting tipping right. The chapter set in Portugal looks back at the fairy-tale dream of a home in idyllic rural Portugal and compares it to the harsh reality with not even a comedic builder or eccentric neighbour to boost the experience.

Amusing snippets written in a semi-biographical style. Each chapter offers one or two points to take away, but, as the title suggests, it's a book of entertaining tales rather than a travel guide.

[Luisa Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jules Brown reminisces with personal travel stories from the past. When reading them I felt as though he was talking directly to me, such is his superb style. Needless to say I was sometimes chuckling to myself and other times, laughing out loud. I am sure he has many more stories up his sleeve and they will be just as interesting and amusing. He has a gift for noticing the unusual or quirky and for describing it perfectly. As he mentions, a travel writer's life is not all champagne and roses but can involve missing connections, hanging around in places you would prefer not to be and meeting people you may rather avoid. But one has to grin and bear the brunt because it is your livelihood. Jules evidently did this and draws on the positive elements and the ridiculous. His books never disappoint.I hope there is another book to follow.

[S. Bavey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was sent a digital advanced review copy by the author in exchange for an honest review – thank you Jules!

Watch Out for Pirates is volume three in the Tales from a Travel Writer’s Life series and again it is full of interesting snippets of trips Jules has undertaken and adventures he has had.

Each chapter takes around ten to fifteen minutes to read and covers a different trip and city he has visited. In this way you can easily just read a chapter while having a cup of tea and dip in and out of this book throughout the day, without needing to remember what was happening when you were last reading.

The characters Jules meets on his trips are often entertaining, such as his host in Montenegro, who may have helped to impair his abilities as a travel writer:

“If he heard the slightest footstep in the corridor, he’d be out brandishing the bottle, day or night. He was like Burt Kwouk in the Pink Panther films, springing out from doorways and lurking in the shadows; I virtually had to commando-roll out of the building each morning to avoid a rocket-fuelled start to the day.”

The locations are varied – some close to home and some on the other side of the globe. In Yorkshire on the James Cook trail there is a disappointing lack of actual Cook memorabilia – the highlight might have been the discounted romantic getaway he and his friend Ian were treated to by their hosts.

In Australia Jules and his wife are on the trail of the late Steve Irwin and encounter plenty of wildlife, while in Scotland they are visiting the locations made famous by Jamie Fraser of Outlander fame.

I think the New York tipping guide was a little out of date – nowadays 15% is considered an insult and 18% is the norm. Of course it’s much easier to work out 20% than 18% so in my experience most people leave 20%!

The hot air ballooning over Luxor sounded scary but something I would love to have a chance of doing and I would also have loved to have been a fly on the wall at the Sicilian wedding party where Jules ended up serenading the group with “On Ilkely Moor Baht ‘At”.

Each of the stories is delivered with typically dry humour and this time there is even a ‘Behind the scenes of travel writing’ section which made for a very interesting read.

Highly recommended to anyone fancying a spot of armchair traveling!

[Julie Haigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a fun book!

I really enjoyed this latest travel memoir from Jules Brown. I haven't read all of his books in the series-I've read three so far-but I think this is the best of those three!

The book contains diverse travels; and not all exotic. It's varied, and easy and entertaining to read, right from the first page. I love his unique blend of wise and witty, and the punchy, vibrant style.

Lots of travel books concentrate on one area or country. What I like about Jules' books is the variety. His format is a mix of chapters with very different trips. He can be in Australia, then in the next few minutes, you're reading about his adventures in Yorkshire.

I really enjoyed the segment about his early life in Ghana. The book is really interesting and varied, and peppered with some clever humour. Not just a "I went here, I went there and here's the history of the area, on with the next". It's so much more and a very entertaining book to immerse yourself in.

Who knew a travel memoir could be so funny! Not just travels: One chapter is about when he lived in Portugal for a while. So there's even a mini-moving-abroad-memoir in here too! Tales from a travel writer's life, so there's more in there; incidental things that happen to him, and members of his family, not just summaries of trips.

It's not just his choice of trips and his descriptions, it's the extra bits he weaves in that make this such a great read. Hilarious, many laughs, guaranteed to make you smile.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll start by admitting to be a huge fan of Jules Brown's books. Brilliantly informative and entertaining, I found myself looking for more superlatives to describe this book 'Watch Out for Pirates' It's the wittiest, funniest and most engaging book I've read for a while. He writes with a wonderful conversational style that has the reader travelling along with him and enjoying - or not - the various adventures he experiences. From Bangkok to Blackpool, Sicily to Scotland - I'm so glad this Scottish trip was a success, despite the fried insult (I'm still crying with laughter at this.) He takes us hot air ballooning in Luxor, brave man, and across the Outback in Australia.
This is so much more than just a Travel memoir as the author has a keen eye for observation and a sensitivity to the different cultures of the places he visits. It's eye opening at times. I particularly enjoyed the Watch out for Pirates chapter - it's another 'read while you are on your own' for me. Best of all I have discovered that I am a Tourist.

[Irene Pylypec · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me begin by saying that I have never ever used a guidebook in my life, preferring instead to explore on my own and to seek the advice of locals. I must confess, however, that the thought of getting paid to travel has always appealed to me and perhaps to you too.

Well, hang on to your hiking boots because in typical Jules Brown fashion, many of the myths associated with travel writing are immediately dispelled in this latest, not-a-guidebook memoir. If you have read any of Jules Brown’s previous works, you’ll realize that no sooner are you seriously contemplating his prose when he blindsides you with a humorous anecdote.

Whatever your preferred method of travel and regardless of how much or how little you plan your trip, you’ll enjoy reading this author’s clever and effective descriptions such as describing a scent that “was more a taste than a smell.” Or reading his hilarious experiences when faced with the tipping culture in the US. Or finding out what the deal is about pirates. Or…just buy the book! You’ll be glad you did.

[Sabina Ostrowska · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Must-Read for Aspiring Travel Writers (or Bloggers)!
Jules Brown’s latest book provides a great insight into the life of a successful travel writer. It’s very well crafted in terms of style and topics. The individual essays have distinct themes and depict various mishaps, adventures and personal discoveries from his life as a travel writer. Many places described in the book, like Bangkok, New York, the outback, Sicily, Montenegro, and Luxor, are seen through the eyes of an Englishman, which leads to many entertaining observations and mishaps.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not well travelled - outside Britain- so I was not sure that I would follow this “Tales from a travel writer’s life”. I can confirm I need not have been concerned; apart from the fact that there are a couple of UK based stories, the irresistible humour and honest recollections of the trials and tribulations / opportunities for experiences that Jules has written in this book were so entertaining. As an experienced “Rough Guide” writer, he captures some of the stuff he has picked up (always tip generously in New York or risk being chased down the street), admits to being nervous of arriving in a new country, and that tracking down sites of interest can be a hot, dusty and unrewarding task. The joys of travelling alone are explored, but also the humour of walking with a friend and a loved one are memorable in this entertaining book.

I don’t suppose I will ever drive across Australia myself, but in this book there is a memorable chapter about the grinding boredom of the road compared with the excitement of Bar Sliding ( you will have to read the book) and the question of what would the late Steve Irwin do when confronted with a big lizard guarding the car door. I really enjoyed the idea of being in a hot air balloon trip over Luxor in theory, but like Jules almost was, I think I would have been a bit put off by the high incidence of fatal accidents. Would I have been sufficiently reassured by the uniformed Kevin who was the pilot who Jules so well describes - I think not, but the contrast that he describes with the bustle and fuss of trying to visit Luxor on land may have swayed me. His account of accidentally leading the singing at a wedding in Sicily is lovely, despite his interesting and desperate choice of a song.

These far flung adventures are contrasted with more accessible accounts of British exploration. Behind the scenes at Blackpool is fascinating, even if you are not tempted by the multitude of attractions on offer. I really enjoyed the walking tour of Yorkshire with a like minded barrister in the enticing hunt for Captain Cook’s authentic stamping ground, and the proposed rating system for the disappointing remnants of buildings that were subjected to “Washing Away”. My favourite was undoubtedly the journey to find the locations for the series “Outlander”, which though undertaken for the benefit of another, was really quite enjoyed. I was touched by the memoir of life for much loved parents when they were first married and discovered the mixed joys of living and working in another country.

The second section features tips for travel with and without a guide book, or in the event of wi fi failure. The words and phrases used to describe travel experiences could well be applied to other areas of life, so are well worth reading.

In short, this is a book which offers great entertainment and laugh out loud humour even for the most risk averse traveller. It is honest and funny, written in a friendly and warm style, and anyways engaging. I was very pleased to have the opportunity to read and review it, and would recommend it to anyone who enjoys travel in reality or the armchair variety.

[Jacqueline Lambert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Travel Writing At Its Best

From tramping along a wet and wintry West Yorkshire coastline in search of Captain Cook to escaping forty-degree heat with an early morning hot-air balloon ride over Luxor, this is a rich and highly entertaining collection of travel stories.

I laughed out loud many times. Jules’ particular talent as an author is to concentrate, distil and isolate the very essence of a place or experience, then convey it in forensic detail through wry and humorous observation.

This book starts off with fear of the unknown – something every traveller has to confront at some time – and goes on to a delightfully excruciating yarn around the anxiety and pitfalls involved with tipping New York waiters.

For me, the piece about Blackpool, a Kiss Me Quick seaside resort in my home county of Lancashire, captured every aspect of its singular and sometimes dubious charms. Usually, I cannot put down a good book; I devour it like chocolate after a Lenten fast. However, after reading Driving across Outback Australia, I had to pause for a day or two, just to savour the atmosphere, the artistry of the words, and nurse my memories of the inimitable Steve Irwin.

As a perpetual nomad, (or am I a tourist? This book will help you decide), I loved the bonus chapters. An insider’s guide to travel writing, absolutely indispensable travel tips – and the challenge to a game of Bingo involving travel writing clichés was just ‘awesome’!

I cannot praise this collection enough. If I could give it six stars, I would. Like Jules’ other books, this is travel writing at its best. I will certainly be looking out for more!

I received a complementary Advance Review Copy, but am voluntarily leaving my honest and unbiased review.

[Alison Cubitt · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a world without ATMs, the internet or smartphones, a young woman travelling on her own needed a reliable source of information on the destination where she was headed. You needed to know how to catch the right train at a seedy railway station and find somewhere to stay where you wouldn’t be molested. If the guidebook you lugged around did that, you might give the other recommendations a go. The best part of these books was when writers could be subjective, even if you didn’t always agree with their opinions.

Behind the scenes, working on the guidebooks, I relied upon, was Jules Brown, who has written Watch Out for Pirates, the third in a trilogy subtitled: Tales From a Travel Writer’s Life. Each chapter is a story about a particular destination, some of which are linked by similar themes. Many of his readers will relate to those feelings of displacement—in a global city on the equator, high in the sky in the Middle East, in Outback Australia and in a restaurant in North America.

It’s not all out-takes from a working life—two of the best of these tales are about family and, in particular, what happens when you stop chasing a dream. The author has a wry humour, an engaging writing style and is a keen observer of the individuals he meets.

Highly recommended and deserves to be on the shelf at every airport bookstore.

I received a free Advance Review Copy.

[Sally Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

These are the kinds of stories that seem to read themselves. You know, where you start a chapter, and are immediately so absorbed in a fast-paced narrative that you reach the end without even being aware that you are physically turning (or swiping) the pages.

There is great variety in the chapters, set in locations as diverse as Ghana and New York, the Aussie Outback, and an out of the way Sicilian village. Some of the tales are intriguing, some poignant, some have a touch of romance – but all of them have moments of laugh out loud humour.

My favourite chapter? The eponymous “Watch Out for Pirates” – as someone who has relied on my mother’s travel diary to uncover who she was when she wasn’t being my mum, I found this chapter extremely relatable. Because it’s not all plain sailing, getting to know someone through their diary, is it? It can come with equal doses of frustration and amusement, as one puzzles out what might have been going on between the lines. The whole book is brilliant, but this chapter really is a masterpiece, cleverly constructed to start with general observations about the author’s background, narrowing to a funny anecdote about his father’s diary and then broadening back out to, well, no spoilers, but somewhere quite beautiful.

I’ll be looking out for more by Jules Brown.

[Neal Atherton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This new book is certainly an eclectic collection. It is not often you go from Ghana to Blackpool and then onto Sicily in such a short travel journey. Jules makes me chuckle to myself, involuntarily, I cannot help it. Disconcerting to people around me of course. He is one of the best travel writers I have read, engaging, funny, descriptive and all with a great joy of travel and sensitivity to culture. The chapter on Yorkshire is a classic. I hope he has patented his invaluable new review system and started his own travel guide before someone steals his idea. It just must come into everyday use. The extra chapters are interesting and useful as well as entertaining. The six things to not leave home without are surprising but thought provoking. They will enable you to leave your travel destination and the people you meet richer for your presence. The world will be a better place – surely that is what travel is all about. Oh yes, TWUTM – of course this book is a Totally Wonderful Utilization of Time and Money.

[Linda Foster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another book of interesting and amusing travel memoirs from this excellent writer. Jules travels to Bangkok, New York, Ghana, Luxor (where he takes to the skies), Montenegro, Sicily and Portugal, where he lives for six months with his two young sons (and their mother). He writes about Elaine’s surprise birthday trip to Scotland, where they follow Jules’ Outlander trail. Jules drives across the Australian outback in a camper van, but refuses to sleep in it! The diaries of Jules’ father, grandfather and mother are discussed.
The latter chapters give great tips to would be travellers and tourists. “Tourists don’t know where they’ve been, travellers don’t know where they are going.” writes Jules. This is much more than just a travel memoir. The links to the videos is a brilliant idea. Stunning scenery. Atmospheric music. Bonus!
Hugely entertaining read. Highly recommend for travellers, tourists and armchair explorers.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been a fan of Jules' writing since I read his first book, so I was really looking forward to this one. It didn't disappoint. Learning how much to tip in America, traveling round Australia with decisions made on what Steve Irwin would do, a romantic weekend in Yorkshire and ballooning over The Valley of The Kings in Egypt are just a few of the places visited in this book. Written with Jules' dry wit and attention to detail, this is a most enjoyable travelogue memoir. When you can almost taste the food, and see the places described, you know you're in for a wonderful read. And the bonus chapters are a gem. I'm sure Jules has more stories to share with us. I can't wait to read the next installment.

[Donna Figurski · Rating 5 out of 5]

I completely enjoyed reading "Watch Out for Pirates: Tales From a Travel Writer's Life (Born to Travel)."

Author Jules Brown took me on adventures around the world and I never had to leave my living room. I revisited New York, Scotland, and Yorkshire through new eyes. I discovered fascinating places like Montengro and Sicily, which I’d love to visit. This easy-to-read book is for anyone who wants to travel the world and learn the backstory of travel writers. Happy Reading!

Donna O'Donnell Figurski - author

[Sverrir Sigurdsson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Watch Out for Pirates by Jules Brown is a delightful account of travels in odd corners of the world. I particularly identify with his descriptions of Africa, where I worked for six years in the then newly independent states. Whether you are a homebound armchair traveler, someone looking for suggestions about do’s and don’ts when traveling in foreign lands, or even an aspiring travel writer, this is your book. Superbly written and full of useful facts and advice, this is a highly recommended read for anyone whose interests include lands beyond the boundaries of the home country.

[Anna – ARC reader extraordinaire! · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read Jules' Don't Eat the Puffin and then seemed to have missed his second release only to read the third. Jules is unquestionably one of my recent favorite travel writers and is highly underrated. His writing is concise and packed with exciting experiences spanning the globe. Watch Out for Pirates is no different. What sets Jules apart from so many other travel writers is that he comes across as very grounded and aware of his surroundings—a person who knows how to respect cultures and yet finds uniqueness in them all. The perfect book for armchair travelers!

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

lovely travel stories

Lovely travel stories that are sometimes not about the destination, but about the feelings that traveling evoke, from anxiety on being in a place that is completely foreign, to getting accustomed to local habits.

[earl feathers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beware!!! You might learn something

Fantastic book! Spoiler, all the Travel Writers secrets revealed! And hey that place in Montevideo is open with the best chips ever!

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great book by Jules Brown. Keeps you engaged and full of wit.

[Johnnie B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hidden Gem

His mother is a better writer, but I have enjoyed reading all his books, having seen them listed on Kindle Unlimited.

[Hope Vollm · Rating 4 out of 5]

There’s something about a travel book written by a British guy that I just love.