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A Daughter's Kaddish: My Year of Grief, Devotion, and Healing
A woman breaks with Jewish tradition to honor her late father in this moving memoir of faith, grief, and transformation.
A Daughter’s Kaddish recounts Sarah Birnbach’s year-long odyssey to persevere through an unfamiliar world of Jewish prayer. To honor her beloved father, Sarah commits to reciting the Mourner’s Kaddish twice a day in synagogue for eleven months—a Jewish mourning ritual that was historically reserved for sons—despite her father’s initial request that she hire someone male to do so. A novice worshipper and single working mother, Sarah encountered many obstacles—including gender-based objections to her prayer practice, her own daughter’s near-fatal car accident, an incident that tore her synagogue apart, and her mother’s dismissiveness.
Sarah incorporates these religious and spiritual practices into her already hectic 21st-century life while struggling with the heavy emotional distress of grief. As she travels the country for work, Sarah must find a synagogue where she can pray in each city and town she visits, a challenge that brings many surprises—and upsets. Throughout her year of devotion, Sarah takes comfort in the loving memories of her childhood while at the same time grappling with some very painful ones—ultimately discovering how the path of faith and grief can lead to true healing.
A Daughter’s Kaddish recounts Sarah Birnbach’s year-long odyssey to persevere through an unfamiliar world of Jewish prayer. To honor her beloved father, Sarah commits to reciting the Mourner’s Kaddish twice a day in synagogue for eleven months—a Jewish mourning ritual that was historically reserved for sons—despite her father’s initial request that she hire someone male to do so. A novice worshipper and single working mother, Sarah encountered many obstacles—including gender-based objections to her prayer practice, her own daughter’s near-fatal car accident, an incident that tore her synagogue apart, and her mother’s dismissiveness.
Sarah incorporates these religious and spiritual practices into her already hectic 21st-century life while struggling with the heavy emotional distress of grief. As she travels the country for work, Sarah must find a synagogue where she can pray in each city and town she visits, a challenge that brings many surprises—and upsets. Throughout her year of devotion, Sarah takes comfort in the loving memories of her childhood while at the same time grappling with some very painful ones—ultimately discovering how the path of faith and grief can lead to true healing.
- GenresNonfiction
264 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 27, 2022
About the author
Sarah Birnbach
1 book16 followersSarah Birnbach began her encore career as a nonfiction writer after successful careers as a human resources management consultant and family therapist in a juvenile court. She was a sought-after motivational speaker at numerous industry conferences and has delivered more than five hundred presentations and workshops.
Sarah’s lifelong journaling practice has informed her writing, for which she has won multiple awards. Her articles have appeared in Talking Writing, Bookwoman, JOFA Journal (Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance), the Michigan Jewish History Journal, Intima, and Pen in Hand.
She holds a bachelor’s degree from George Washington University, an MBA from American University, and an MSW from the University of Maryland.
Sarah lives with her husband outside Washington, DC, where she enjoys frequenting local bookstores, traveling, and active grandparenting.
Sarah’s lifelong journaling practice has informed her writing, for which she has won multiple awards. Her articles have appeared in Talking Writing, Bookwoman, JOFA Journal (Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance), the Michigan Jewish History Journal, Intima, and Pen in Hand.
She holds a bachelor’s degree from George Washington University, an MBA from American University, and an MSW from the University of Maryland.
Sarah lives with her husband outside Washington, DC, where she enjoys frequenting local bookstores, traveling, and active grandparenting.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
September 6, 2022
In this moving memoir, we follow the path of the author's spiritual commitment to reciting the Jewish prayer of mourning, the Kaddish, twice daily in the year following her father's death from lymphoma. The movement of the book lies in the tension between observance of ancient tradition and the bustle of secular American life.
The wonderful paradox of this book is that, while deeply exploring the most wrenching emotions of the human experience, it somehow felt like a delightful summer read. That magic is in the approachability of the work, the author's commitment to the textures of her own bare-bones experience, to staying with her own feelings throughout. The Acknowledgements briefly mention the author's time spent at writing workshops with the directive to "show and not tell," and A Daughter's Kaddish achieves this masterfully. Despite the book's existence as an homage to a father, the most compelling relationship in the book is perhaps that with the mother. The diagnostic label of "narcissistic abuse" isn't applied once, and yet, in the stark descriptions of the childhood beatings and subsequent gaslighting the author suffered at the hands of her mother, that's exactly what the reader sees. The memoir never veers into the sensational (though perhaps, at times, into the sentimental), and yet we are brought face to face at every turn with what it means to face loss as we attempt - as we are divinely and mundanely forced - to keep on living
In the opening chapter of Mahatma Gandhi's memoir, penned late in a packed life, he pleas openly for the reader's empathy with his lack of insight. He speaks of the ensuing work as an accounting of his personal experiences; he does not claim they made him wise. Gandhi's words have stayed with me each time I've cracked open a memoir: as outsiders, we see themes the memoirist may not. A perhaps unintentional lesson of A Daughter's Kaddish, for those of us who've experienced similar childhood traumas, is to continue the hard work of learning to listen to one's own inner voice and honor one's own needs. The book illustrates, painfully, how the inevitable grief of losing a parent compounds when people-pleasing, perfectionism, and excessive self-reproach - all byproducts of an abusive childhood - are already in the picture.
Jewish tradition remains in the foreground throughout. Jews and non-Jews alike will learn from the fascinating telling of the roots of these traditions - it's one of this book's greatest gifts. A recurring theme is Jews' sense of responsibility to care for each other in times of mourning, and in fact the author herself expresses great solidarity with those who grieve. The book itself scaffolds this Jewish tradition of community in mourning - a comforting literary hand on a mourner's arm.
The wonderful paradox of this book is that, while deeply exploring the most wrenching emotions of the human experience, it somehow felt like a delightful summer read. That magic is in the approachability of the work, the author's commitment to the textures of her own bare-bones experience, to staying with her own feelings throughout. The Acknowledgements briefly mention the author's time spent at writing workshops with the directive to "show and not tell," and A Daughter's Kaddish achieves this masterfully. Despite the book's existence as an homage to a father, the most compelling relationship in the book is perhaps that with the mother. The diagnostic label of "narcissistic abuse" isn't applied once, and yet, in the stark descriptions of the childhood beatings and subsequent gaslighting the author suffered at the hands of her mother, that's exactly what the reader sees. The memoir never veers into the sensational (though perhaps, at times, into the sentimental), and yet we are brought face to face at every turn with what it means to face loss as we attempt - as we are divinely and mundanely forced - to keep on living
In the opening chapter of Mahatma Gandhi's memoir, penned late in a packed life, he pleas openly for the reader's empathy with his lack of insight. He speaks of the ensuing work as an accounting of his personal experiences; he does not claim they made him wise. Gandhi's words have stayed with me each time I've cracked open a memoir: as outsiders, we see themes the memoirist may not. A perhaps unintentional lesson of A Daughter's Kaddish, for those of us who've experienced similar childhood traumas, is to continue the hard work of learning to listen to one's own inner voice and honor one's own needs. The book illustrates, painfully, how the inevitable grief of losing a parent compounds when people-pleasing, perfectionism, and excessive self-reproach - all byproducts of an abusive childhood - are already in the picture.
Jewish tradition remains in the foreground throughout. Jews and non-Jews alike will learn from the fascinating telling of the roots of these traditions - it's one of this book's greatest gifts. A recurring theme is Jews' sense of responsibility to care for each other in times of mourning, and in fact the author herself expresses great solidarity with those who grieve. The book itself scaffolds this Jewish tradition of community in mourning - a comforting literary hand on a mourner's arm.
October 17, 2022
Moving
I received this book as a prize from a Goodreads giveaway. As a Jewish woman,myself, I entered because of my own Judaism. I found this very moving and somewhat informative. I did know much of the ritual due to my own practice of Jewish ritual. I wasn't raised Jewish, and I lost my own father to a sudden stroke. He was 45, and I was14. So his death was observed differently. I converted to Judaism as an adult in a Conservative synagogue . I learned Hebrew. I married my Jewish husband, and we were married a short time when he died from a sudden heart attack at the age of 47. I was 48...the same age my mother was when she was widowed. Sadly, although my rabbi helped me bury him, I didn't have any closeness from my shul. I wanted to sit Shiva for him, but no one offered to help arrange one, and I was in shock. I still am sad that I never received that opportunity. I also can relate to the author's relationship with her mother. My mother was difficult, and abusive as well. She died years ago. I still miss her. An aside, DNA testing has revealed I am Jewish as well, though I wasn't surprised. Prior to my conversion, I suspected as much. In fact, one Orthodox rabbi I came to know, told me I had a Jewish neshama. I thought this book was beautiful, and many times brought me to tears. I highly recommend reading this book.
I received this book as a prize from a Goodreads giveaway. As a Jewish woman,myself, I entered because of my own Judaism. I found this very moving and somewhat informative. I did know much of the ritual due to my own practice of Jewish ritual. I wasn't raised Jewish, and I lost my own father to a sudden stroke. He was 45, and I was14. So his death was observed differently. I converted to Judaism as an adult in a Conservative synagogue . I learned Hebrew. I married my Jewish husband, and we were married a short time when he died from a sudden heart attack at the age of 47. I was 48...the same age my mother was when she was widowed. Sadly, although my rabbi helped me bury him, I didn't have any closeness from my shul. I wanted to sit Shiva for him, but no one offered to help arrange one, and I was in shock. I still am sad that I never received that opportunity. I also can relate to the author's relationship with her mother. My mother was difficult, and abusive as well. She died years ago. I still miss her. An aside, DNA testing has revealed I am Jewish as well, though I wasn't surprised. Prior to my conversion, I suspected as much. In fact, one Orthodox rabbi I came to know, told me I had a Jewish neshama. I thought this book was beautiful, and many times brought me to tears. I highly recommend reading this book.
August 3, 2022
The Mourner’s Kaddish is a traditional Jewish prayer, written in Aramaic. At the loss of a parent, child, or spouse, it is traditional to recite the prayer for eleven months. After the loss of her father, Sarah Birnbach commits to reciting the Kaddish, twice daily, in synagogue, for eleven months.
Birnbach describes the emotional journey of Jewish mourning ritual in her memoir and how this observance brought to her a deeper connection to her faith. Her experience was not without its challenges.
I found Birnbach’s story relatable in the experience of gradually adding various traditions and observances to her daily life as she grew in her faith. I also appreciated her description of her feelings as she moved through the period of mourning and seeing them evolve with the passage of time.
The book, overall, is beautifully written. I had a hard time putting it down. Birnbach does a remarkable job of creating a relationship with the reader that brings out an emotional investment in her story.
Birnbach describes the emotional journey of Jewish mourning ritual in her memoir and how this observance brought to her a deeper connection to her faith. Her experience was not without its challenges.
I found Birnbach’s story relatable in the experience of gradually adding various traditions and observances to her daily life as she grew in her faith. I also appreciated her description of her feelings as she moved through the period of mourning and seeing them evolve with the passage of time.
The book, overall, is beautifully written. I had a hard time putting it down. Birnbach does a remarkable job of creating a relationship with the reader that brings out an emotional investment in her story.
September 27, 2022
Sarah Birnbach’s heart is in this memoir. She memorializes her father with such love and care. I smiled often and shed a few tears. In the process of learning about her father we get to know Sarah, too, and the wonderful relationship she had with her dad.
I knew nothing about Jewish traditions, including Kaddish, so I was interested in learning about that aspect of Jewish life. Sarah traveled extensively in her work, so she had to find minyans (10 witnesses) in many cities and strange synagogues where her work took her. In some cases it was heartbreaking when she couldn’t find what she needed, but in many, many more it was heartwarming how many people were willing to come to the aid of a complete stranger and celebrate her father with her.
Kaddish is usually recited by sons, but since there were only girls in her family, Sarah took it upon herself to do this final ritual for her father, with his blessing. She encountered resistance in some more traditional synagogues but was embraced by most others. She is careful to explain the terms non-Jews might not know and the rituals they follow, which I appreciated. That kept me reading, rather than skipping over things I didn’t know. This isn’t a book just for Jewish people; it’s for anyone with relationships that are sometimes difficult. It’s a family story.
It is clear as the memoir progresses that Sarah’s father was her stability, her cheerleader, and her rock in the stormy times of her family life. She had to honor her father with the ritual of Kaddish.
Through the lens of her determination to complete the difficult task of twice daily prayers wherever she might be, Sarah tells a universal story about loss and grief and healing that most people experience in their lifetimes. It was an honor and a pleasure to read it.
I knew nothing about Jewish traditions, including Kaddish, so I was interested in learning about that aspect of Jewish life. Sarah traveled extensively in her work, so she had to find minyans (10 witnesses) in many cities and strange synagogues where her work took her. In some cases it was heartbreaking when she couldn’t find what she needed, but in many, many more it was heartwarming how many people were willing to come to the aid of a complete stranger and celebrate her father with her.
Kaddish is usually recited by sons, but since there were only girls in her family, Sarah took it upon herself to do this final ritual for her father, with his blessing. She encountered resistance in some more traditional synagogues but was embraced by most others. She is careful to explain the terms non-Jews might not know and the rituals they follow, which I appreciated. That kept me reading, rather than skipping over things I didn’t know. This isn’t a book just for Jewish people; it’s for anyone with relationships that are sometimes difficult. It’s a family story.
It is clear as the memoir progresses that Sarah’s father was her stability, her cheerleader, and her rock in the stormy times of her family life. She had to honor her father with the ritual of Kaddish.
Through the lens of her determination to complete the difficult task of twice daily prayers wherever she might be, Sarah tells a universal story about loss and grief and healing that most people experience in their lifetimes. It was an honor and a pleasure to read it.
March 13, 2023
Coming in with very limited knowledge on the religion, I enjoyed learning about Jewish traditions and the lengths the community will go to ensure people are taken care of especially in a time of grief
March 8, 2024
Reading Sarah’s memoir brought both tears and laughter. I learned so much about the Jewish religion and traditions. As the story traveled through this journey, I witnessed the deep love shared by her and her father, Marvin Birnbach. She has paved the way for future Jewish daughters to be part of the honor and dedication of giving a Kaddish.
Sarah met many obstacles as she strived to give this gift of love to her father’s soul. No matter her fortitude, she could not do it alone and had to rely on others to make it happen. Witnessing the community spirit, the unselfish gift of time that strangers offered her, was inspiring. My eyes opened to a part of this big world that I didn’t know, and I long to mimic the kindness of others along with the grit that Sarah depicted.
Just as her father profoundly impacted the lives he touched, this story will impact yours. You will want to be a better person, believe that miracles do happen, and the benevolence of mankind will be restored. There is goodness around us; when you can’t see it, be it, just like Sarah.
Sarah met many obstacles as she strived to give this gift of love to her father’s soul. No matter her fortitude, she could not do it alone and had to rely on others to make it happen. Witnessing the community spirit, the unselfish gift of time that strangers offered her, was inspiring. My eyes opened to a part of this big world that I didn’t know, and I long to mimic the kindness of others along with the grit that Sarah depicted.
Just as her father profoundly impacted the lives he touched, this story will impact yours. You will want to be a better person, believe that miracles do happen, and the benevolence of mankind will be restored. There is goodness around us; when you can’t see it, be it, just like Sarah.
October 9, 2022
This story of Birnbach’s commitment to reciting Kaddish honors her father’s spirit as well as her own faith and shows how she found comfort and strength in community, even across religions. In this book, feminism, faith and love come together in a memoir of one daughter’s devotion to her father. Birnbach’s first foray into memoir, is a lesson in Jewish practices that will be appreciated by readers of any faith. Her story of how her faith intersects with feminism not only teaches us lessons of the evolving role of Jewish women in religion, but also teaches lessons of intention, the grief process, forgiveness and acceptance. For me, one of the most meaningful take-aways from the book is that allowing the care of others is truly a form of love. Through her commitment to praying Kaddish for her father’s soul, she emulated her father’s commitment to her and the rest of his family. A true gift.
June 3, 2023
A Daughter’s Kaddish is Sarah Birnbach’s memoir devoted to her father. The one thing he asked of her before he died is that she say the Mourner’s Kaddish twice a day for 11 months. Sarah says yes without knowing how much she will be challenged. She has to have a group of 10. Some places do not allow women to say the Kaddish. And her job requires travel, so she has to search out Jewish synagogues to see where services are held to see if the trips will work with her schedule. Sarah has so many memories of her father that come up throughout her journey and meets many people who knew her father. This was excellent to read and to learn a lot about the Jewish faith. The author did a great job explaining words and terms as the reader comes upon a Hebrew term. It also shows the community that comes together when they are all working toward a common goal. This would be great for groups and for people with open minds who want to know more about another faith and its traditions.
December 15, 2024
A Daughter’s Kaddish is a deeply moving book that will speak to you regardless of whether you are currently on a grief journey or just want insight into Sarah’s experience. As soon as I finished the book, I reached out to the author to share how moved I was by the book. She responded immediately and was gracious with her time. We spoke about journaling and her journey.
As I read the book, I felt like she was speaking to me, personally, the whole way. Her prose is easy and elevated. I did not require the glossary or explanations of Jewish terms that she included, yet her brief explanations throughout did not feel disruptive. And as a former journal keeper, her descriptions of the primary place of journaling in her life was inspiring. Sarah Birnbach grants us a window into her personal experience of saying kaddish for her father, with its many, many rewards (and some frustrations) along the way. Highly recommend.
As I read the book, I felt like she was speaking to me, personally, the whole way. Her prose is easy and elevated. I did not require the glossary or explanations of Jewish terms that she included, yet her brief explanations throughout did not feel disruptive. And as a former journal keeper, her descriptions of the primary place of journaling in her life was inspiring. Sarah Birnbach grants us a window into her personal experience of saying kaddish for her father, with its many, many rewards (and some frustrations) along the way. Highly recommend.
August 10, 2022
I received an early copy of the book and I'm so glad I had an opportunity to read it and provide a review!
I am not Jewish and know very little of the religion and it's traditions and practices, but Sarah does an excellent job of explaining everything so that you can understand the why's of what she experienced during her year of Kaddish. I came away from the book with a better understanding of Judaism. Sarah is open and honest about her background, relationship with her family and the struggles she encountered to fulfill a promise to her father. It also helped me understand the reasoning of changing her name from Shelia (how I first knew her professionally) to Sarah.
This book is a reminder, no matter your faith or beliefs, to show honor to and remember those who have gone on to the great unknown.
I am not Jewish and know very little of the religion and it's traditions and practices, but Sarah does an excellent job of explaining everything so that you can understand the why's of what she experienced during her year of Kaddish. I came away from the book with a better understanding of Judaism. Sarah is open and honest about her background, relationship with her family and the struggles she encountered to fulfill a promise to her father. It also helped me understand the reasoning of changing her name from Shelia (how I first knew her professionally) to Sarah.
This book is a reminder, no matter your faith or beliefs, to show honor to and remember those who have gone on to the great unknown.
October 28, 2022
SARAH'S STORY IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! She captured my attention on the first page and I found myself not wanting to put the book down because I wanted to know what was going to happen next. Her detailed writing had me feeling as if I was right there with her throughout her entire journey. Sarah's love, commitment, devotion and determination to honor her father by saying Kaddish twice a day is a remarkable and engaging story that shows all of us that no matter what religion we are, what obstacles or challenges we face in life, that IT CAN BE DONE!
I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK to anyone who wants to be inspired and anyone who wants to see what it's like to set a goal and accomplish it no matter what. Sarah did this with grace, dignity, love and devotion for her father, and I'm so happy that she shared it for all of us to read.
I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK to anyone who wants to be inspired and anyone who wants to see what it's like to set a goal and accomplish it no matter what. Sarah did this with grace, dignity, love and devotion for her father, and I'm so happy that she shared it for all of us to read.
November 11, 2022
If you're a reader exploring religious identity or striving to stay true to what you believe and who you aspire to be, A Daughter's Kaddish will illuminate your journey. This is the extraordinary story of a fiercely strong and independent woman, an entrepeneur accustomed to forging her own path, learning to ask for help and receiving it the most unexpected and generous ways.
Birnbach's story examines that fine line between fidelity to tradition and fidelity to our own integrity; the messiness, the cost, and the riches that we reap from putting our commitments to the test. It's also an example of using one's grief as a form of empowerment rather than incapacity. Regardless of one's faith, A Daughter's Kaddish is a universal inspiration for anyone struggling to honor a sacred vow, and finding solace and purpose in the process.
Birnbach's story examines that fine line between fidelity to tradition and fidelity to our own integrity; the messiness, the cost, and the riches that we reap from putting our commitments to the test. It's also an example of using one's grief as a form of empowerment rather than incapacity. Regardless of one's faith, A Daughter's Kaddish is a universal inspiration for anyone struggling to honor a sacred vow, and finding solace and purpose in the process.
February 10, 2023
A writer can choose words that convey love and can write words with love from the heart. Sarah Birnbach accomplished both in her beautiful book, A Daughter’s Kaddish. As a Christian woman with little understanding of Judaism, I learned the meaning behind religious traditions I didn’t fully understand and hadn’t heard of before, like the Kaddish. Birnbach’s writing is honest, warm, and lyrical, and comes from a place of deep love and respect for her father. Not a chapter passes without Birnbach’s imaginative descriptions: “His overly large eyeglasses reflected his total disregard for style and fashion.” “The solemnity in his deep-set brown eyes told me we were on the brink of something serious.” “A bittersweet memory that left me grateful and heartbroken at the same time.” If you’ve loved and lost someone, this wonderful book will warm your heart with cherished memories.
January 18, 2023
I finished reading this last night. To say I loved it would be an understatement. Most days I would only read a chapter at a time so I could think about what was written, and also feel it. The story, and the stories within the story, touched by heart. They also brought wonderful memories of my own father to mind. Like the author’s father my dad was in the 102nd Infantry Division. It is not often that a book brings tears to my eyes, but when her dad gave his blessing to her, and again when he presented her with his Purple Heart, the tears escaped my eyes and ran down my cheeks.
I wish that I could have known her father. I have no doubt that I would have liked him. She was blessed to have such a person in her life. And she honored that blessing with the gift she gave to him.
I wish that I could have known her father. I have no doubt that I would have liked him. She was blessed to have such a person in her life. And she honored that blessing with the gift she gave to him.
August 28, 2026
This book was excellent! The pure love between Sarah and her father is truly special and her dedication to honoring his memory is beyond admirable. Sarah’s journey is also one of self-realization as she learns more about her faith and herself.
This book is also a great reminder about the complexity of being human and the reality that most people will help when called upon.
My mom, sister, and I all read this book at the same time and there are so many similarities between Sarah’s relationship with her father and my mother’s relationship with hers. This book gave my sister and me the opportunity to look at my mom through a different lens.
So special!
I recommend this book regardless of your religion and family relationships.
This book is also a great reminder about the complexity of being human and the reality that most people will help when called upon.
My mom, sister, and I all read this book at the same time and there are so many similarities between Sarah’s relationship with her father and my mother’s relationship with hers. This book gave my sister and me the opportunity to look at my mom through a different lens.
So special!
I recommend this book regardless of your religion and family relationships.
October 9, 2022
In "A Daughter's Kaddish" the author takes the reader along on her year-long journey to honor her father's final wish. But it's not just about the Jewish mourning ritual, and you don't have to know anything about her religion to appreciate the story. It's a story about her love for her father, family dynamics, and pushing on gender-based obstacles. I didn't feel like I was sitting on the sidelines; I was right there experiencing her emotions for her life, but also for my own story. I love this memoir, and I highly recommend it.
March 25, 2023
I find Birnbach’s story inspiring and learned much about the Jewish religion. The strength required for her to pursue her goal was admirable, as was her accepting and/or overcoming a negative relationship with her mother and with Rachael, her daughter, and the trauma of the accusations against Rabbi Maltzman, which were ultimately dismissed. Her explanation of all that she learned and realized over the 11 months of her efforts showed that her faith and perseverance delivered many gifts. The book is easy to read, despite the many necessary definitions of terms relating to her faith.
November 6, 2023
This moving memoir recounts Sarah Birnbach’s experiences following the death of her beloved father, when she commits to a year of prayer to honor him and aid in her own healing. She finds encouragement, support and love, but also skepticism about the value of her task, denial of her right to perform it, and sometimes open hostility. Despite trials in her personal life, she maintains an unwavering dedication to her task and her growing faith. This is a story of grief, hope, and love that will touch readers of any faith.
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April 29, 2025I found meaning in this memoir. Many of the stories she shared about the loss of her dad resonated with me. Since my dad’s death two months ago, I have been finding it comforting and reassuring to read about how people experience their grief, especially while saying Kaddish
Although her experiences saying Kaddish were 25 years ago I found some of her statements too generalized about Orthodox Judaism. I don’t question her experience just her generalizations from those experiences.
Overall this was a worthwhile memoir to read and I recommend it.
Although her experiences saying Kaddish were 25 years ago I found some of her statements too generalized about Orthodox Judaism. I don’t question her experience just her generalizations from those experiences.
Overall this was a worthwhile memoir to read and I recommend it.
June 22, 2025
I admire the author's perserverance and love for her father. I do not agree with the specific mannner in which she honored her father. I am not as traditional and devout. I respect Ms. Birnbach's decision. I am Jewish. The religion allows for different degrees of adherance to rituals. Judaism provides a helpful and meaningful framework when a death occurs. Within that general structure, there is a great deal of space for choice.
The book, which is a memoir, is somewhat repetitive. The work could have used more editing. All in all, a very interesting story.
The book, which is a memoir, is somewhat repetitive. The work could have used more editing. All in all, a very interesting story.
November 20, 2025
I heard about the award winning memoir from a female staff member at my synagogue while doing kaddish service for my father. I did not know what to expect but as I started reading I felt more a part of the jewish process and grieving steps. Sarah became the higher voice I desperately needed which guided me to higher understanding. I love books where I can come out saying that it helped in my recovery or taught me a lesson of love, devotion and inspiration. They are unique and this one is a hidden gem that does just that and holds my attention until the very last page!
April 14, 2023
A book about grief and loss is bound to be depressing and sad. A Daughter's Kaddish was just the opposite. Birnbach's memoir is uplifting, hopeful, and full of love. She took her readers on a journey and it was easy to get swept away with her, feel the hurt, and experience the frustration she felt on a daily basis. I admire both her tenacity and her devotion.
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July 30, 2023I saw this book in GW magazine and was pleased to find it in my library’s digital catalog.
If you’ve lost a parent and recited kaddish (even if not twice a day for 11 months), you’ll feel pretty seen by this book.
If you’ve lost a parent and recited kaddish (even if not twice a day for 11 months), you’ll feel pretty seen by this book.
January 25, 2024
A moving and beautifully written story of a daughter’s love for her father and the profound grief of losing him. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.
October 8, 2022
What I enjoyed the most were the scenes of childhood with Marvin Birnbach.
I have never met him, but this book describes a mensch: a warm, kindhearted father who adored his daughters, played with them, paid personal attention to them, and taught them humility, warmth, humor and a righteous way of living by example.
The book, a memoir about being the daughter of such a man, interweaves a) reminiscences about the relationship with a loving, kind-hearted father, b) a resounding expression of loss after he dies, c) a primer on Judaism, and the way of death for the mourner, and d) a suspenseful account of chasing a minyan for 11 months. It ends with the insight into a personal quest and the outside forces that made it possible to experience a sense of accomplishment.
I have never met him, but this book describes a mensch: a warm, kindhearted father who adored his daughters, played with them, paid personal attention to them, and taught them humility, warmth, humor and a righteous way of living by example.
The book, a memoir about being the daughter of such a man, interweaves a) reminiscences about the relationship with a loving, kind-hearted father, b) a resounding expression of loss after he dies, c) a primer on Judaism, and the way of death for the mourner, and d) a suspenseful account of chasing a minyan for 11 months. It ends with the insight into a personal quest and the outside forces that made it possible to experience a sense of accomplishment.
November 20, 2025
I heard about the award winning memoir trough my synagogue while doing kaddish service for my father. I did not know what to expect but as I started reading I felt more a part of the Jewish process and grieving steps. Sarah became the higher voice I desperately needed which guided me to higher understanding. I love books where I can come out saying that it helped in my recovery or taught me a lesson of love, devotion and inspiration. They are unique and this one is a hidden gem that does just that and holds my attention until the very last page!
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