How to Be a Woman Online: Surviving Abuse and Harassment, and How to Fight Back

by Nina Jankowicz

When Nina Jankowicz's first book on online disinformation was profiled in The New Yorker last year, she expected attention but not an avalanche of abuse and harassment, predominantly from men, online.

All women in politics, journalism and academia now face untold levels of harassment and abuse in online spaces. Together with the world's leading extremism researchers, Jankowicz wrote one of the definitive reports on this troubling phenomenon.

Drawing on rigorous research into the treatment of Kamala Harris - the first woman vice-president - and other political and public figures, Nina also uses on her own experiences to provide a step-by-step plan for dealing with harassment, abuse, doxing and disinformation in online spaces.

The result is a must-read for researchers, journalists and all women with a profile in the online space.

Genres: Feminism, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Technology, Internet, Sociology, Research

136 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 21, 2022

About the author

Nina Jankowicz is an American researcher and writer. She briefly served as executive director of the newly created United States Department of Homeland Security (DHS)'s Disinformation Governance Board, resigning from the position amid the dissolution of the board by DHS in May 2022.

A double-major in Russian and political science, Jankowicz graduated from Bryn Mawr College in 2011 and spent a semester at Herzen State Pedagogical University in Russia in 2010. In 2017, she was a Fulbright fellow in Kyiv, working with the foreign ministry of Ukraine. She has also served as a disinformation fellow at the Woodrow Wilson Center and as supervisor of the Russia and Belarus programs at the National Democratic Institute.

Reviews

[meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

In How to Be a Woman Online, Nina Jankowicz gives concrete advice and concise steps on actions women on the internet can take to protect themselves and to be safe online. Jankowicz's style is straight to the point and easy to follow for everyone, even those who are not very well versed in the topic of cybersecurity. Each chapter even has a handy TL;DR to recap anything that the reader might have missed.

I liked how her advice was not just "well, delete your account so the trolls won't find you" but rather how to protect yourself through specific actions on popular platforms. In fact, I stopped reading mid-chapter on a few occasions to put her advice into practice on my own online accounts after understanding the importance of things like two factor authentication for important accounts. Most importantly in my opinion, she also proposes ways to foster a safe and supportive environment online for women to exist and to express themselves.

This is a must read for anyone who frequent online spaces, as it not only offers good tools to protect internet users identity, but it also explains the extent and severity of harassment that many women experience online.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Bloomsbury Publishing for the opportunity to read and review this e-ARC.

As a woman known for being chronically online, I found this book so incredibly interesting. As technology and social media advances, I've found myself watching in wonder as more and more women put more and more information about themselves out there on the internet.

You see time and time again, someone puts up a personal story for their small audience- those who most likely already know them and know most of the story- and it blows up, making them have to make a follow-up video explaining it all. Those are personal stories, and people who had no intention of ever having the level of attention they now had. This specific example wasn't really touched on, but she includes a variety of other platforms and what measures you can take to protect yourself.

If you are a woman online, you more than likely have, unfortunately, experienced some level of harassment. This book does a wonderful job at detailing how to be a woman in these online spaces, and how to protect yourself. A necessary read for women online everywhere.

So, in a time where information is stolen and women are constantly harassed, how ARE we supposed to be online? What steps can we take to protect ourselves?

[Kelsey Weekman · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a journalist myself, some of the companies I've worked for have neglected to give me the proper training to protect myself. The ones that have gave me training similar to what is found in this book, and I found it to be incredibly helpful. We should put this book into the hands of any journalist the second they sign a contract.

Something I wish this book included more of is the idea that literally any of us could go viral at any time — either becoming the discourse of the day on Twitter or unintentionally taking of on TikTok -- places where you don't need a lot of followers to get a lot of views. You might not even be the person posting your own image and getting hate in return.

It's really short and quick and I'd recommend it to any woman thinking about a career in the public eye or considering investing time in their social media profiles at all. I wish there were a chapter on the more practical things non-influencers can do to protect themselves. I felt like that was missing and would have made the book appeal to a wider audience. I realize that having to write a book like this in the first place is pretty disturbing and I think that point is well-made here. But it's not just the outspoken women with something to say that end up suffering at the hands of online misogynists.

Thank you NetGalley for the free ebook in exchange for an honest review.

[Taylor J · Rating 1 out of 5]

This lady is now the Director of the Disinformation Board. She was hired to lie to Americans. Crazy!

[Kristine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Bloomsbury Publishing for the opportunity to read and review an e-ARC. As a journalist and avid social media user (in my private and public lives - which, yes, just got distinctly separated out) this is a great resource to keep at hand. I've been in the media business for over a decade and I still have never been part of a newsroom or organization who could either effectively prepare us for online harassment or properly help out on the defense side. Especially for women and those of other marginalized identities. So a lot of times, those seemingly professional battles become deeply personal ones too - and "How to Be a Woman Online" offers almost a safety manual of sorts along with actionable steps you can take to secure yourself.

Unfortunately, as the state of the world is, this book offers a guide on how to survive and cope with the dark side of social media rather than prevent it or eliminate it. I know such things are impossible right now, though I appreciate the text going into depth about emerging laws and attitudes that may gradually improve everyone's experiences. I do think that individuals with even a touch of public figure status (read, not necessarily famous or known, but someone whose profiles are noticed in some way) need to constantly reassess their account safety, their public messaging, and how much access they allow others to their content.

A lot of times, I find that when a woman brings up either specific instances of social media harassment or more general anxiety about existing in a public space, a lot of people who don't quite *get it* tend to give well-meaning but misplaced advice that doesn't quite take into consideration what it's asking. For example, they'll say to "just delete your account" as if that either makes harassment vanish or as if removing yourself entirely from a huge facet of modern social and professional life is a perfect option. This book acknowledges those people, which I deeply appreciated - but I don't necessarily think it's a book that will convince those people. For example, I can never effectively explain to my family why I am bitter about stepping away from Twitter -- because I felt that I needed to (at least temporarily, and for whatever forseeable future) but I also miss it as a fun space to share with friends and a networking opportunity through which I can boost my work and secure more job opportunities. This is definitely a resource guide for social media users who understand how much information will still be out there without their consent, and how to better prepare and deal.

[Alexa Melania · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book singlehandedly gave me the confidence and security tips to have a voice online and communicate my work on social media. I appreciated her down-to-earth style, full of actual concrete tips to secure my information online, report online abuse, and cultivate a community.

This book must be read by anyone who is nervous about having an online presence after seeing what horrible remarks are targeted at the best and brightest women. Thank you!!

[James Mersol · Rating 4 out of 5]

To see why this book matters, you can look at some of the reviews on Goodreads, which have nothing to do with the book itself but are an indictment of its author, typically based upon misinformation. Full disclosure: I've met the author once where she gave me some career advice related to counter-misinformation, but I've done my best to separate that connection from my assessment of this book.

Obviously, I am not a woman, but I still found this book practical, both as a way of appreciating the scope of the harassment and intimidation women, especially academic women or those who challenge the status quo, face online, and as a guide of preventative and protective measures one can take to secure their safety and mental health. I'm definitely investing in a VPN and password manager after all this, for starters; I thank my lucky stars that I'm not such a target that I need to pay for the more extensive (and expensive) services Jankowicz discusses early on.

If there's a flaw to this book, it's that it feels like it was originally meant to be an essay; it's remarkably brief, and I can't help but wonder if it would have had a greater impact if it had been an essay or series of articles online somewhere. At 4 stars, I think it's a worthy read for both men and women seeking to understand the problem and also find some...not solutions, but avenues of improvement.

[Cara (Wilde Book Garden) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kind of irritated this has such a middling average rating, because I thought this was thoughtful, useful, intersectional, and incredibly valuable.

Smart analysis, clear and actionable steps to take, and a genuinely intersectional approach! (something I often find is missing from books on this kind of topic.)

Highly recommend for women and other marginalized folks on the internet looking to protect themselves and others, and for people who DON'T deal with this kind of abuse but are looking to understand more about what it's like to exist online when you're racialized, queer, disabled, female, etc.

And despite how infuriating the statistics/examples are, Jankowicz also focuses on finding strength and community with others online. This book leaves me feeling more prepared and determined, while still being really realistic, and that impresses me a lot. (It's also just incredibly validating to see this talked about as a real and serious problem.)

CW: Misogyny, online abuse, doxxing, racism, references to suicide

[Alazne ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Uneventful and over said 🥸.

[Amy Morris · Rating 1 out of 5]

JUNK. Clear MissInformation is “her” forte

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is designed with the young career-driven woman in mind: it is succinct, practical, and funny. Definitely check it out if you want really practical and realistic tips about how to have an online presence as a woman while keeping yourself safe, mentally and physically.

[Erin Matson · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to Be A Woman Online is a pithy, hopeful primer for women facing online harassment. In it, Nina Jankowicz outlines several steps women can take to protect themselves from misogynist men and preserve their ability to participate in public discourse.

I agree the problem of misogynist men attacking public women online is severe enough to warrant its own book (believe me, I was an executive officer of the National Organization for Women and have extensive personal experience with this shit).

And yet, I found myself wanting more from this book. I couldn’t help but think about how aspects related to other forms of targeted online harassment and abuse I have endured were not covered. Anti-abortion harassment, which while certainly misogynist to its core, is a very specific thing with its own nuances and violent threats. And what about abuse from women themselves (much of it misogynist)? Neither were covered here.

The Internet is a gross place, and Jankowicz works on disinformation and has specialized in Ukraine. Can you even imagine what her mentions have been like? I admire her greatly for holding out hope for a better, more equitable future, and taking the time to write this book.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book through NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.

Nina Jankowicz was the Director of the now defunct Disinformation Governance Board under the Joe Biden administration. The main aim of the board was to advise on best practices to tackle disinformation and to advise government bodies on online practices. This book, is in a similar vein, in that it discusses the safeguards that are available to women when they face harassment online. While the book may specifically focus on harassment done by men, I would reckon the advice holds up to any kind of online harassment.

In this short handbook, Jankowicz discusses her and other high profile women's online experiences when speaking out about important issues within their field and the programs and safety nets that they have curated to deal with online harassment. This ranges from descriptions of some of the apps, programs and services available to descriptions of the men that one may run into online. Or at least their tropes and how one best deals with them. Jankowicz also advises on how one can use the features of social media websites to their advantage. One example of this is blocking, which the book echoes, that one's profile is closer to a fiefdom rather than a democracy.

The conclusion I have arrived at was that it is very expensive to be a woman online or at least, it's expensive to be a famous woman online. There are of course good advice in there for the women who are on minimum wage (like myself). Such as building safe spaces for ourselves with friends, family and on private servers like discord and the above mentioned features of the social media companies themselves, like the above blocking. The generic advice feels like a general online etiquette lessons that some of you may have touched upon in high school. For example, a basic password manager is a given, and now one usually comes with your phone. However, how much can you trust the company that makes them and their software? The bills begin to pile up once you need services that scrub your online life, scrubbing comments, embarrassing videos and pictures that you may have posted online. The jump is even bigger once you need services that collect evidence to helps you build a case.

Perhaps this is why I thought that this is not really aimed at the average woman, though ultimately useful if you find yourself one morning waking up famous and faced with the ire of men online. There is a certain level of privilege in advising women to contact their local labour union to call their members to action, or your employer to help you and rehouse you if your home ever came under effect. Unless you are already in the public eye or a high profile member of the company an employer is very unlikely to do these steps. You are free to call me pessimistic, but its very hard to mobilise the public when the average Jane is being harassed on Facebook.

There is a larger conversation to be had about how much support women can get online, and the book is at least a good step in the right direction of showing the available tools that are available, even if some of it cannot be used by the average woman user.

The book shines when the author talks about her own and other women in the public eye who had been harassed and the way that they have dealt with it. A lot of the book contains repetition, especially as a way to summarise the chapter in Reddit's favourite TL;DR format. (If you are not internet savvy, this is shorthand for “too long; didn't read”, an expression that is supposed to be a time saver in our busy lives. Instead of this repetition of the chapters in short form, I personally wish this book would have focused more on those personal experiences and how they dealt with online harassment. As well as expanded discussions on how effective legislation is in places that enhanced online security and online harassment laws. The author offhandedly mentions other countries' internet and data programs, but the book never discusses how effective they actually are. Neither does the author discuss the challenges for such a legislation, either in the US or elsewhere. I think this was a missed opportunity for this title

Overall, this book saves time if you require any of the services that the book advertises and their usefulness. The book goes deep in that regard, however it repeats itself often. I think the spare pages could have gone to expand on certain things, such as expanding on the experiences of the women who the interviewer talks about who have experienced harassment during GamerGate, or the effectiveness of legislation. If you need a handbook on the type of men you may encounter online, or the services that are available, the book is great, it has some great recommendations. However, if you want a deeper exploration on the subject or what can be done about it, look elsewhere.

[CBW Librarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's disheartening how much hatred is directed at accomplished women who are in the public eye. Nina Jankowicz is an expert on disinformation in the digital age, specifically its use and effects in 21st century Eastern Europe. Her published work and media appearances have resulted in hateful, misogynistic trolling of her online social media accounts. Her book "How to be a Woman Online" relays similar treatment of another respected author, Nicole Perlroth, whose book "This is How they Tell me the World Ends" is one of the best books I've read on cyber warfare. The fact that both authors received horrific and violent comments in response to their work should not be the price they have to pay for being educated women earning a living.

Most telling was when Jankowicz co-authored an article with a male colleague, and remarked to him something to the effect of ‘How about all those trolls attacking us?’, and her colleague’s response was ‘What trolls?’ He had not received any of the harassing emails or comments that she received despite his name appearing alongside hers as co-author.

This book is Jankowicz’s story about the misogyny she has faced and her suggestions for anyone facing online harassment on how to protect themselves. My only suggestion for readers is to skip the audiobook version since so many of her suggestions you will want to write down and try out.

[Dan J · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible how-to for women of all ages who want to make a fortune online using nothing but their God-given feminine assets. Over 40? This book will show you where the MILF money is at. Under 40? OnlyFans has you covered! Under 18? Fear not! How To Be a Woman Online reveals how you, too, can reveal yourself with TikTok and get rolling in teenage boys' mothers Visa and Mastercards! (Pro tip: make lots of different facial expressions in quick succession. It works!)

So get busy, ladies! Get your copy of How to Be a Woman Online now, and nothing with a working penis will be safe from YOU!

[Maddie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars—this book further confirmed I never want to have a very public image hahah

[Annie Jarman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every research-oriented book should include a tldr section at the end of each chapter!
Also, it was nice to have some humor in a dark subject where she stereotyped trolls

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential reading for any woman (or really anyone) who spends a lot of time online, especially in a public role. Nina Jankowicz is an expert in her field and the cruel irony that she is subject to worse abuse than ever these days only illustrates the necessity of books like these.

[Alcy · Rating 3 out of 5]

My thesis topic!! I wish this had gone deeper into the responsibility of the social media platforms, but I know that’s not what it was trying to focus on. Overall a good guide and resource for navigating online abuse and resources for support.

[Haley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an informative read with some important tips for being safe online. Some of these tips were well known, others were more unique and costly to employ.

The author combines forming solidarity with other women with online preventative programs and reactive measures all of which can be used to help keep you safe online.

Thanks Netgalley for this digital copy.

[Matthew Halloran · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book because the author was the head of the Disinformation Governance Board (which has now been disbanded). I heard bad things about the book in regards to online freedom, so I had to check it out for myself.

Before I continue, let me say that the advice for women in this book seems great, and I have no complaints about it. This is the reason I have 2 stars instead of 1.

What was extremely concerning about the book is the authoritarian suggestions on how to protect women online. Coming from a crypto background, the solution I would suggest for protecting women would be something like this:
- Require users to pay a refundable fee before joining a social media
- If you are reported and the report is verified, you lose the fee and receive a temporary ban/restrictions
- The amount you must pay to use the social media increases if you keep getting reported
- To prevent users from creating multiple accounts, the government could issue a verified credential that you can tie to your account. You can restrict your account so that only “real” people can interact with you

Instead of suggestions like these that protect free speech, the author continued to suggest censorship of men to protect women. She goes as far to suggest that free speech is sexist.

What also irked me is that while there are plenty of times the author mentions how women are harassed online, she never acknowledges that men can be harassed online as well. Here is one quote from the book:

“Of the girls who have been harassed very frequently, 19 percent said they use … social media platform[s] less and 12 percent just stopped using [them].”12 The authors trenchantly note that this sort of harassment should not be viewed through a “free speech” lens: “girls pay a high price for other people’s, largely men’s, ‘right’ to free speech. They are left to mostly cope on their own with a level of unremitting harassment that would see many of us defeated.”

I’m not an expert by any means, but I wanted to check how true this is. The first article I stumbled across - https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/... - claims that harassment is about equal across genders:

“Overall, men are somewhat more likely than women to say they have experienced any form of harassment online (43% vs. 38%), but similar shares of men and women have faced more severe forms of this kind of abuse”

Where the author is correct is that women experience more SEXUAL harassment compared to men. But explaining this nuance would not fit nicely into the pro-censorship agenda.

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

The trolls she talks about are even on Goodreads… One male reviewer says, “I’m not the target audience” and leaves a one star review. Of course you’re not the target audience why would you even review unless you’re a 🤡

Don’t put up with the nonsense!! Block and don’t feed the trolls. Your social media is your queendom, not a democracy.

[Zoe :) · Rating 5 out of 5]

So inspiring and so so good !! I loved every single page ! there is nothing left to say other than this is a banger!!! Literally some of these men - trolls- in the review section are proving the points made in this book, which is hilarious.

[Ariana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book with a lot of practical advice.

[Lizzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for any woman who intends to be online in any capacity (so basically any woman)

[Riley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun quick read that finds humor in the very serious problem of online harassment and provides good advice for maintaining safety

[books4chess · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Women are socialised to be accommodating, but your social media profiles are not a democracy. Use the tools at your disposal however you wish to use them. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting yourself.”

This is an absolutely fantastic break down of how to be online. It’s female centric, with a focus on intersectionality and brief recognition of the disparity of abuse faced by cis vs non cis individuals, but the takeaways are for everyone.

The book isn’t your typical tired collection of well-known case studies, but instead an active call to action, warning of the different types of engagement we can expect online from people with poor intentions, or ‘trolls’. There are actionable suggestions from intelligence professionals - former CIA agents and females in the public eye who have first hand experience taking down their trolls.

I really enjoyed the emphasis on online security - regarding two factor authorisation (2fa), archiving abuse to keep as evidence later on, and tracking any of your contact details that have been compromised and advice for every popular social media platform of today. Everything was clearly outlined in layman’s terms and accessible to anyone.

Further, I really enjoyed the lack of ‘shock-factor’ used on a topic we’re all aware of. Too often do authors regurgitate information we’re all aware of hoping to shock the reader. Instead, we’re given solid facts, investigative measures, further reading as well as links to useful websites and a breakdown of how to use them.

Truly a useful book everyone should have a gander over to make sure they’re as safe as they can be online. As we all put more online and the world becomes ever more digital, we’re all at risk of trolling, doxing and attacks - you never know when you might go viral.

Thank you NetGalley for the Arc.

[Theresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were a couple of topics I wish Nina Jankowicz had elaborated more on in her book. I am glad she addressed what Leslie Jones had endured during the Ghostbusters tour. In fact, I was thinking about this as I was reading, "I wonder what she would say about Leslie Jones," and there came the story, but I wish there were more covered about how women and people of color are harassed even more than white women and men. I'd like to also address how white women contributed to disinformation and harassment of women of color, particularly when white West Virginia officials (sadly women, but as Albright would have said, they failed to help other women, so they may deserve a place in hell) made hateful posts about former FLOTUS Michelle Obama. And I wish there were stories about AAPI hate online, too (by very public people, too, like the San Francisco School Board and the former Editor-in-Chief of Teen Vogue). Overall, it's a good introduction to combating hate online, and follow-up stories are necessary.

[Claire Binkley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read thoroughly the first third of this book then skimmed the rest. This is nothing new. But if it is to you, this book DOES explain muting, blocking, and reporting reasonably enough, and does have in bold to report anything shifty to law enforcement.

I don't know why women are attacked online. (Or offline, either, which has been more troubling to me personally, but your mileage may vary, as the idiom goes.) It's not in humanity's better interest.

However, Jankowicz's book offers a useful helpline for what to do to preserve feminine sanity in the modern era, without the text reeking like one of those perfumes that your aunt wears! (Though I am just speaking metaphorically. I have never judged to tell and your specific aunt's perfume might be tolerable from a distance.)

[Briony Clayforth · Rating 3 out of 5]

A interesting topic explored in this book about the risks that comes with being a woman online. A lot information contained was for those with a big presence on social media but did share information for those with a more private audience. It is a vital read, as our technology and social media is ever evolving and changing. Although a non fiction book, it shared light-hearted moments and was funny in places. I loved the tips on forming communities with other women to help protect yourself online.

Overall it is a great informative book into taking first steps into internet security, but there was a lot of repetition throughout the book. Thank you to net gallery and Bloomsbury Publishing for this advanced copy.