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Curses, Banter, and Babies, Oh My!
After years of searching, Hermione has discovered the reason she can't have a child. Ten years post-torture at the hands of the sadistic Bellatrix Lestrange, the thought never once crossed her mind that the evil witch would've been to blame. Unfortunately, the only way to break the curse is to enlist the help of someone who both has Black blood and the Dark Mark...
Only one person fits that category, and of course, it would be Draco sodding Malfoy.
He's certainly changed a bit over the years, but he hasn't changed enough to not expect something in return, the entitled git. And yet...
He may be quite a different than she imagined him to be.
Only one person fits that category, and of course, it would be Draco sodding Malfoy.
He's certainly changed a bit over the years, but he hasn't changed enough to not expect something in return, the entitled git. And yet...
He may be quite a different than she imagined him to be.
318 pages, ebook
Published April 1, 2022
7 people are currently reading
193 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
December 5, 2023
Well that was freaking precious! Okay, so a few of my favorite tropes here and they were done so well! Mutual pining, friends to lovers, planned pregnancy…I really enjoyed reading this! Hermione has discovered, after years of searching, that Bellatrix Lestrange cursed her when she tortured her during the war. She’s infertile, and seeing as she’s ready to have a baby, that won’t do. In order to reverse the curse, she needs someone who shares Bella’s blood and has the Dark Mark…enter Draco Malfoy.
Draco, for his part, hasn’t been the same since the war, either. He goes about his business and keeps his head down, working at the Ministry near Hermione. However, even with their shared history and proximity, the two don’t mix company much. Which is why Hermione is floored when Draco agrees to help her with one condition; he wants to be the father to her baby. Thanks to modern medicine…I mean magic, they’re able to conceive without actually doing the deed…much to my chagrin. However, as Hermione grows their baby, the two become closer and closer, until she can’t deny her feelings any longer.
So yes, adored this and those two! What I love most about Dramione fanfic is that each book is its own universe, with so many permutations! But usually, at their heart, these two are usually the best version of themselves when they’re together. I love the redemption in this story, as well as the very human storyline of wanting a baby and going through no traditional channels to get there together. Draco’s reactions to everything were lovely, I really enjoyed his softer side!
Draco, for his part, hasn’t been the same since the war, either. He goes about his business and keeps his head down, working at the Ministry near Hermione. However, even with their shared history and proximity, the two don’t mix company much. Which is why Hermione is floored when Draco agrees to help her with one condition; he wants to be the father to her baby. Thanks to modern medicine…I mean magic, they’re able to conceive without actually doing the deed…much to my chagrin. However, as Hermione grows their baby, the two become closer and closer, until she can’t deny her feelings any longer.
So yes, adored this and those two! What I love most about Dramione fanfic is that each book is its own universe, with so many permutations! But usually, at their heart, these two are usually the best version of themselves when they’re together. I love the redemption in this story, as well as the very human storyline of wanting a baby and going through no traditional channels to get there together. Draco’s reactions to everything were lovely, I really enjoyed his softer side!
March 8, 2023
I never knew i needed draco with a baby so badly but WOW so fucking fluffy I was giddy
March 18, 2025
också - SIDENOTE!!! JAG VET att man inte ska använda goodreads för att ratea this type of writing men asså jag måste få ranta och samla mina tankar nånstans… så jag gör det, men liksom med vetskapen om att jag INTE betygsätter på samma sätt som en vanlig bok. så ok nu känns det lite bättre. såri. (men liksom hade goodreads funnit 2012 när jag läste Danger ??? hade betalat SUMMOR för att få läsa mina tankar om det då) (sidenote igen, brukade använda twitter för detta men vi alla vet ju att vi inte använder twitter längre, och kan. inte spamma IG för det är bara stelt så jag fortsätter i den här gråzonen okkkkkkk)
asså kalla mig jungfru maria eller något. det var definitionen av fluff. jag vet inte vad jag förvänta mig men jag vet också inte om det var det här? the miscommunication trope went HARD. and although I don’t mind it, I got a bit mad? meeeen i vanlig ordning, samma två personer, som oavsett, blir tsm? im sold. jag kan också säga att min livmoder, har gjort sig känd. den finns. ja.
asså kalla mig jungfru maria eller något. det var definitionen av fluff. jag vet inte vad jag förvänta mig men jag vet också inte om det var det här? the miscommunication trope went HARD. and although I don’t mind it, I got a bit mad? meeeen i vanlig ordning, samma två personer, som oavsett, blir tsm? im sold. jag kan också säga att min livmoder, har gjort sig känd. den finns. ja.
December 21, 2025
{3,5⭐️}
4/4!!!!
Sim, troquei a série. Cansei-me dos outros livros e a FMC do último livro parecia-me ser bue chata.
E na verdade ainda me falta 1 livro, porque um dos que eu li este ano foi DNF, e o goodreads é que conta como lido na mesma
Fic será EHEHEHEHE 😈
Contexto: a Hermione queria um filho, mas por causa da tortura da Bellatrix só podia ter um filho com alguém que fosse da família dos Black e tivesse a Dark Mark. Única pessoa do mundo com essa combinação? Draco Malfoy, obviously.
Plot twist, ele quis ser um pai presente e não um dador de esperma. Fast forward, they’re together now 🫶🏼
A melhor parte foi que eles utilizaram um feitiço para simular o ato de fazer um bebé, mas acabaram por dormir juntos alguns meses depois na mesma 🤣
Could’ve been fucking this whole time
4/4!!!!
Sim, troquei a série. Cansei-me dos outros livros e a FMC do último livro parecia-me ser bue chata.
E na verdade ainda me falta 1 livro, porque um dos que eu li este ano foi DNF, e o goodreads é que conta como lido na mesma
Fic será EHEHEHEHE 😈
Contexto: a Hermione queria um filho, mas por causa da tortura da Bellatrix só podia ter um filho com alguém que fosse da família dos Black e tivesse a Dark Mark. Única pessoa do mundo com essa combinação? Draco Malfoy, obviously.
Plot twist, ele quis ser um pai presente e não um dador de esperma. Fast forward, they’re together now 🫶🏼
A melhor parte foi que eles utilizaram um feitiço para simular o ato de fazer um bebé, mas acabaram por dormir juntos alguns meses depois na mesma 🤣
Could’ve been fucking this whole time
June 24, 2024
This was so fun to read before bed 🥰
May 4, 2025
3.5 ⭐️
loved the waaayyy draco was portrayed, very fluffy, though this fic is heavy on the slow burn side😮💨 all in all it was a nice read!!! 🫶
loved the waaayyy draco was portrayed, very fluffy, though this fic is heavy on the slow burn side😮💨 all in all it was a nice read!!! 🫶
July 28, 2025
Pallette cleanser fic
May 24, 2022
3.75⭐
This was short and sweet, definitely a light read.
This was short and sweet, definitely a light read.
January 26, 2024
2.5 stars
Found the banter cute but then not. When there are two 30 year olds not having adult conversations and taking that step, months into knowing each other, of being vulnerable with each other to TALK ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL, it's just annoying.
Single, POV, that of Hermione's. Had to listen to her inner monologue, multiple times, deciding that she couldn't feel what she did for Draco, let all tell him, because what if it all went to hell in a hand basket and they have this child together in a toxic environment. But yet, oh yes, to think of him being with someone else, while raising this child would be much too painful. So, she does nothing but stew in her monologue, banter and be immature when she can't say how she feels.
***EYE ROLL***
Someone in another review mentioned they don't get together until 80%, honestly it was almost 90% and he just fucking snapped. Honestly don't blame him. Fics where she is this dense are not my jam
Found the banter cute but then not. When there are two 30 year olds not having adult conversations and taking that step, months into knowing each other, of being vulnerable with each other to TALK ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL, it's just annoying.
Single, POV, that of Hermione's. Had to listen to her inner monologue, multiple times, deciding that she couldn't feel what she did for Draco, let all tell him, because what if it all went to hell in a hand basket and they have this child together in a toxic environment. But yet, oh yes, to think of him being with someone else, while raising this child would be much too painful. So, she does nothing but stew in her monologue, banter and be immature when she can't say how she feels.
***EYE ROLL***
Someone in another review mentioned they don't get together until 80%, honestly it was almost 90% and he just fucking snapped. Honestly don't blame him. Fics where she is this dense are not my jam
April 10, 2023
Chapters 14 / 79498 words
It's a cute and very fluffy story about Hermione and Draco breaking her curse and partnering to have a child together.
Draco is really the perfect specimen. He is funny, he is caring, he is adorable, he loves Muggle stuff. I really loved everything about him!
It's a cute and very fluffy story about Hermione and Draco breaking her curse and partnering to have a child together.
Draco is really the perfect specimen. He is funny, he is caring, he is adorable, he loves Muggle stuff. I really loved everything about him!
November 17, 2025
3.6 stars
This is the first pregnancy fic I've read, and I liked it more than I thought it would – but it's still not my favorite trope. Neither is miscommunication, and so much of the "tension" could have just been resolved with a very simple conversation.
However, this was well-written, there were several times where I laughed at loud at the writing.
- blood curse that only a Black descendent with a Death Eater tattoo could break
- Draco volunteers to be the sperm donor
- Artificial insemination spell with orgasmic side effects
- named the daughter "Cordelia" - it's a moon and a Shakespeare name
- he takes care of her all during pregnancy
This is the first pregnancy fic I've read, and I liked it more than I thought it would – but it's still not my favorite trope. Neither is miscommunication, and so much of the "tension" could have just been resolved with a very simple conversation.
However, this was well-written, there were several times where I laughed at loud at the writing.
- blood curse that only a Black descendent with a Death Eater tattoo could break
- Draco volunteers to be the sperm donor
- Artificial insemination spell with orgasmic side effects
- named the daughter "Cordelia" - it's a moon and a Shakespeare name
- he takes care of her all during pregnancy
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 2, 2023
It was very funny & I loved their banter. However, I kinda hated Hermione for the majority of the book. They don’t get together until like 80% of the way in & it’s entirely her fault. She is a mean, judgmental, & a condescending know it all who leads Draco on all the while refusing to give a relationship a try because they are having a kid together. Like that’s not quite literally the stupidest thing anyone anywhere has ever heard of.
Read
July 14, 2024Hermione wants nothing more than to have a baby. She learns that, when she was tortured, Bellatrix cursed her to prevent her from procreating. Turns out, Draco is the only one that can help her.
Draco agrees on one condition: he wants to be the father.
Nothing is this plan could possibly go wrong.
(We don’t rate fanfictions in this house because it is hella disrespectful to these authors that write these fics for free in their free time.)
Draco agrees on one condition: he wants to be the father.
Nothing is this plan could possibly go wrong.
(We don’t rate fanfictions in this house because it is hella disrespectful to these authors that write these fics for free in their free time.)
September 1, 2023
I put off reading this because I thought it was going to be childish (due to the title) but Oh My! What a delight to read. The premise is wonderful and the story too. I loved Hermione's and Draco's relationship, they were absolutely adorable. I loved seeing them turn around each other and their mutual feelings.
October 31, 2024
Very cute storyline - and one I hadn’t seen specifically in a long while so I loved following along just watching things progress! A nice HEA slow burn. Distracted by some errors in editing and 3rd person v 1st person storytelling but overall super quick and heartwarming read.
May 4, 2022
This was cutteee. Easy funny read. Had me actually laughing out loud at times (which never happens).
June 20, 2022
This Draco can have all my children thank you very much. Wonderful writing, super funny, and absolutely a joy to read. 👏🏻
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 1, 2022
Super cute, funny, and a nice slow burn. Hermione and Draco decide to have a baby together, and confusion, hilarity and love ensue.
October 3, 2022
Fun fluff with a pinch of angst.
February 13, 2023
It’s so refreshing to read such a beautifully written Dramione fanfic! (I’ve read dozens, and reading this was truly a delight).
February 15, 2023
Cute. Snarky. Adorable pining.
March 4, 2023
This was the perfect fluffy fic! This made me laugh it made me smile and it was too cute! The pining was perfect! Just what I needed!
March 28, 2023
Draco being patient with Hermoine is just 🥺🥺
So so sweet!
It's a 4.5/ 5 for me!
So so sweet!
It's a 4.5/ 5 for me!
August 4, 2023
Incredibly fluffy. Hilariously sarcastic. Oblivious idiots being more oblivious than I’ve ever read. Heartfelt. Charming. Just a delight that’ll perk you right up after a heavy read.
September 4, 2023
Super cute and fluffy! Read in under 2 hours, idiots in love!
December 20, 2023
Love the banter!! Kinda made me miss being pregnant 🤭
March 7, 2024
This was incredible!!!
March 9, 2024
Sloooow Burn but extremely adorable
March 13, 2024
Me gustó pero creí que tendría más potencial , las escenas saltaban mucho de uno q otro y me hubiera gustado un poco más de oscuridad
Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews