Baker's Dozen

by Candace Nola, Jeff Strand (Foreword), Christine Morgan (Contributor)

9 hours, 27 minutes

Uncomfortably Dark presents... Baker's Dozen! Delicious dark delights for your horror consumption!

Come indulge in the dark and disturbing with 13 tantalizing tales of terror written by an incredible lineup of independent horror authors. With stories ranging from delightful to disturbing, you are sure to find something to please your sweet spot.

Authors include Jeff Strand, Christine Morgan, Ruthann Jagge, Aron Beauregard, Lee Franklin, Chris Miller, Patrick C. Harrison, III, Carver Pike, Kenzie Jennings, Daniel Volpe, Rowland Bercy, Jr., Candace Nola and M. Ennenbach. Includes a special foreword by Jeff Strand. Bon Appétit.

©2021 Candace Nolan (P)2022 Candace Nolan

Genres: Horror, Short Stories, Fiction, Collections, Anthologies, Splatterpunk

9 pages, Audible Audio

First published December 9, 2021

About the author

I am Candace Nola, and I am a multiple award-winning author, editor, and publisher. I write poetry, horror, dark fantasy, and extreme horror content. My books include Breach, Beyond the Breach, Hank Flynn, Bishop, Earth vs The Lava Spiders, The Unicorn Killer, Unmasked, The Vet, and Desperate Wishes.

I have short stories in The Baker’s Dozen anthology, Secondhand Creeps, American Cannibal, Just A Girl, The Horror Collection: Lost Edition & The Turquoise Edition, just to name a few.

Beyond the Breach, won the “Novel of the Year” and my Debut Novel, Breach, was nominated for “Debut Novel of the Year”, for the 2021 Horror Authors Guild awards. I am also the publisher and editor of the 2022 Splatterpunk Award Winning Anthology “Uncomfortably Dark Presents: The Baker’s Dozen.”

I am the creator of Uncomfortably Dark, which focuses primarily on promoting indie horror authors and small presses with weekly book reviews, interviews, and special features. Uncomfortably Dark Horror stands behind its mission to “bring you the best in horror, one uncomfortably dark page at a time.”

Find me on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and Facebook and the website, UncomfortablyDark.com. Sign up for the Patreon for exclusive content, free stories, and more.

Reviews

[Misty Marie Harms · Rating 3 out of 5]

**3.5 🌟**

My two favorite things together at last! Carbs and horror. I never knew they would go together so well. Bunch of short horror stories to butter your biscuits and twirl those cinnamon buns. Fun themed read!

[Mort · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Good day, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the SICKEST BAKER SHOW, where the competition is fierce and oftentimes brutal. Let’s find out what their secret ingredients are today!

First up, we have Christine Morgan, you get…
JEALOUSY!
Chris Miller, yours is…
A CHEERLEADER MOM’S DIAMONDS!
Ruthann Jagge, you get…
A BLACK BIRD!
Jeff Strand, close your mouth and collect your…
DOGSHIT!
Aron Beauregard, you seem to be the lucky winner of…
BLINDING LIGHT!
Carver Pike, yours is…
SLUTTY BLUEBERRIES!
Patrick C. Harrison III, wow, I don’t know how you are going to use…
MEMORIES!
Lee Franklin, can you use…
FISHING BAIT!
Kenzie Jennings, you better watch out because yours is…
A CROCODILE!
Daniel Volpe, what in the world will you do with your combination of…
CINNAMON and FIRE!
Rowland Bercy Jr., you get…
A PLANT!
Candace Nola, you get…ooh, what an interesting combination this is…
JAMS and a “KAREN”!
Finally, Michael Ennebach, you get…well, what do you know…
A SCYTHE!

Bloodshed and carnage is encouraged, so I want a really dirty bake.
Contestants, are you ready? It doesn’t matter either way, because your time starts NOW!”

******

Candace Nola succeeded in putting together a very diverse and brilliant anthology. What I enjoyed the most is that not a single story was like any other, in either tone or substance, and I can honestly say there is not a single story in this one that I can call a weak link. Nor can I tell you my favorite.

While these stories are bloody, it only adds to the flavor. Some are straight-up horror, some are extreme, while the rest lies in-between. If you are a fan of any of these authors, this one is worth checking out, because it will widen your reading horizons if you are unfamiliar with some of them.

Five delicious, bloody pastry stars!

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an excellent anthology!

A "taste" of what lies within:

There are 13 stories that lay within this book and I will list them out along with a cryptic statement for each one.


Pretzels of Gods by Christine Morgan: You don't want to eat these kind of pretzels!

Apple Pies & Diamond Eyes by Chris Miller: A pie and robbery don't mix!

The Piebird by Ruthann Jagge: Be careful swallowing this pie as you might choke on feathers!

Next Best Baker by Jeff Strand: Baking cakes becomes twisted!

A Muffin in the Oven by Aron Beauregard: Baby alien? Or something else?

Blueberry Hill by Carver Pike: Blueberry muffins of a different variety!

They Are Always Watching by Patrick C. Harrison, III: Memories disappear in an unusual way.

My Lil' Cupcake by Lee Franklin: Being called "Lil Cupcake" comes at a great price!

Just a Local Thing by Kenzie Jennings: Is this what is meant by "local flavor"?

Of Dough and Cinammon by Daniel Volpe: Revenge is sweet.

Homegrown Comeuppance by Rowland Bercy, Jr.: A different type of tree.....alive and free.

County Contest by Candace Nola: A jam with a special flavor added.

Death and a Donut by M. Ennenbach: Don't mess with the Reaper!

Thoughts:

Wow! This book was one twisted mess that is wrapped around everything "baking"! This could be considered the "Horror Baking Book" for everyone that loves horror, but beware as the ingredient's within are of the "twisted hell variety" and you might be picking out of your teeth bone and gore matter the whole time you are reading this book!

All the stories just drew me in and I have discovered some new authors to explore as well along with revisiting authors I have read in the past. All in all there is quite a bit of melting goo along with dripping icky trails of wet matter that will leave the extreme horror lovers salivating for more!

So if you are in the mood for a "baking book" like no other with graphic descriptions of blood, gore, and anything else that you find in a baker's kitchen or bakery, then grab your dessert plate and dish up these delicious "twisted" stories! Giving this one five Baker Maker stars!

[Melanie Bouthillette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I gave five stars for 7 out of 13 stories in this book. Some of the stories where great and I loved the writing style. Others completely lost me and some where kinda just meh. I will tell you my favorites tho..
1. Pretzels of Gods
2. Blueberry Hill,
3. County Contest.

Happy Reading everyone!

[Nikolas Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the immense pleasure of reading Baker's Dozen in advance to write a blurb for the anthology. It seemed only natural that I would also be writing a review of the collection now that the release date is looming on the near horizon. Rarely has a themed anthology come together so perfectly in capturing a motif and carrying it through all of the component pieces included. There is no question that Baker's Dozen is overall one of the best anthologies I'll have the pleasure of reading. Paraphrasing what I said in my blurb, this is a delicious concoction, albeit neither safe nor healthy. If you're looking for those qualities, you're in the wrong place.
It would have been a challenge, bringing this assortment of spectacularly imaginative authors together and compiling an anthology that wasn't worth reading; there's no doubt that Candace Nola deserves a great deal of credit for editing this volume, though. Anthologies are only as good as the editor who brings them together, and there's no question that this collection was in excellent hands from the beginning.
Christine Morgan kicks it all off with the period piece, Pretzels of God, spinning a tale of jealousy and bitterness, of sacred vows broken most violently and unpredictably.
Apple Pie & Diamond Eyes by Chris Miller tells the story of an aptly-named Karen being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Unfortunately, Karen has a passel of teenage girls in tow, as a trio of criminals gets their just desserts in a truly literal sense.
Ruthann Jagge's The Piebird introduces us to Flora Corolla, so desperate to bring pride to her family's bakery that she'll accept guidance from the most unlikely and untrustworthy source.
Next Best Baker by Jeff Strand is perversely hilarious. A man after my own heart, I feel like he watches cooking and baking competitions the same way I do, imagining the worst conceivable surprise ingredients being tossed into the mix and laughing as he envisions it all playing out. I assure you that this is no baking competition for the faint of heart.
Aron Beauregard hits us with A Muffin In The Oven, and he hits us hard. The announcement of a friend's pregnancy--an event that should be full of warmth and cheer--turns sour and horrific as the facts surrounding the paternity come to light.
Carver Pike's Blueberry Hill is a tale of bullying, teenage cruelty, revenge, and witchcraft. This one is, without a doubt, the hardest story to read, in my opinion. Hillary Hightower doesn't deserve any of the terrible things that happen to her, but when seeking retribution, one should probably be careful what they wish for. This story has the "dig two graves" adage on full display.
They Are Always Watching is equal parts sad and terrifying, and Patrick C. Harrison, III leans into both qualities heavily. A daughter struggling with her mother's declining mental capacity is forced to face the truth of what seems like little more than her debilitated mother's fevered mind.
My Lil' Cupcake by Lee Franklin floats us through a dysfunctional marriage and one woman's desire to find freedom from the domineering, cruel, and awful men in her life. The method by which Lindsey seeks her emancipation is something visceral to behold.
Kenzie Jennings provides us with the worst Florida has to offer in Just A Local Thing. A family on vacation finds themselves at the mercy of the perverse whims of a seemingly prescient baker.
Of Dough And Cinnamon brings us heartbreak and satisfying vengeance as Daniel Volpe tells the story of a widower who experiences one more loss than he can handle.
Rowland Bercy Jr. introduces us to the most unlikely cryptid in Homegrown Comeuppance. A fierce rivalry between two bakers reaches a horrific conclusion that just might spell the end for not only those involved but also the innocent residents of a Brazilian town.
Candace Nola showcases not only her editorial skills with Baker's Dozen but her skill as a writer as well. County Contest provides us with a glimpse of a small business still struggling to recapture the success once known when Horace's wife was still around. As a new librarian arrives in town, it seems like her sole purpose in life is to tear down everyone around her with sarcasm and bitterness. But maybe that bitterness is just what the recipe calls for when it's time to unveil a new flavor.
Death, And A Donut by Michael Ennenbach is a most peculiar yet beautiful love story, built on a substrate of random, wanton bloodshed and disorder. A cacophony of disaster paves the way through this narrative, leading us to a surprisingly touching conclusion.
You can't go wrong with a single piece in this collection, and I recommend dedicating some time to taking in the fantastic illustrations that accompany the text. This whole volume was painstakingly assembled with obvious love and care like the best recipes always are.

[KillerBunny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This anthology is everything I love, Food, Gore and Horror. Most of the author in this book were new to me, but I like them all. Some stories were softer and some absolutely gross and It's never enough ! I buy the Hardcover version and the book is just a piece of art. Glossy page and the real feel of a cookbook, It's perfect. Candace Nola did an incredible job. But I want to make a special mention for my favorite stories. Next Best Baker (Jeff Strand), Blueberry Hill (Carver Pike), My Lil Cupcake (Lee Franklin) and Of Dough And Cinnamon (Daniel Volpe).

[Paul Flewitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do love a good anthology, the opportunity to see what other writers are up to and discover other writers that are new to me. There's a plethora of up and coming talent in the genre, and the scene is burgeoning with so much creativity that it's sometimes a hard job to keep up. The newbies are often old news by the time I get around to discovering them. So, when Candace Nola asked for reviewers to read her new offering, I jumped at the chance to read it.

Some of these authors I've known about for a while, others are totally new to me. That's the way I like it, and I've certainly found some real talent in the reading of this collection. Nola has assembled a fine group, and all have contributed something disgustingly entertaining.

There's something for every taste in this confection, although I offer a word of warning to the squeamish (Jeff Strand, I'm looking at you!!) We run the gammut from quiet horror, to psychological horror, through sci-fi, weird fiction, splatter and revenge horror. All the writers bring their A game, with some delightful results. Some hit higher highs than others, admittedly, but there isn't a story that let's anyone down.

For me, there are a few standouts which deserve special mention: Christine Morgan offers a story reminiscent of Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose, mixed with a little Clive Barker eroticism to deliver a fine opener. Loved the concept here, and the writing is engaging as hell. A real treat.

Daniel Volpe brings an awesome revenge tale, showing us what the baker from The Godfather might've done had Vito Corleone refused to do him a favour. I'm not well educated on Jewish mythology and majicks, so Volpe's story was a fast paced revelation.

Rowland Bercy Jnr's take on weird fiction was a delightful read, and a truly intriguing concept. That dude knows his plantlife.

And finally, Michael Ennenbach rounds things off nicely with a tale of Death, bless him. All he wanted to do was deliver a birthday present... poor dude.

All in all, this collection keeps the pages turning nicely. It's entertaining, and there's something for everyone. I offer congratulations to Candace Nola for assembling this group, and all the authors for their effort. It was a pleasure to read.

[Horror Bookworm Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Horror Bookworm Reviews
https://horrorbookwormreviews.com/

- A local county fair presents its annual canning contest of homemade preserves, jams and jellies. From old-fashioned family recipes to current experimentations of the justifiable kind, some ingredients should agree to stay a well kept secret.
- A television game show called Next Best Baker challenges their contestants to a bake off using four mystery ingredients. As the bizarre components are revealed, the white apron wearing bakers must decide to go big or go home.
- An ongoing rivalry between bakeries evolves into a deadly competition for control over a mysterious rare seed that would make a plant enthusiasts nightmare come true.

Brought to you by Candace Nola, Bakers Dozen reads like an all-star lineup. Starting off the team of performers is Christine Morgan followed by the talents of Chris Miller, Aron Beauregard, Carver Pike, PCIII, Kenzie Jennings, Jeff Strand and the list goes on, and on, and on. These seasoned authors bring it all to the bakery table to show off their wares.

Beginning with Christine Morgan, her recipe of dough pretzels are lightly sprinkled with resentment and hatred. Daniel Volpe shows off his scrumptious baking skills by dusting his treats with a dash of revenge and a pinch of vengeance. Carver Pike displays his blueberry concoction smothered in witchery, brutal punishment and retribution, I hear this tasty treat is to die for.

Be sure to support your local businesses. Visit Corolla Pie Shop and try a decadent Piebird. On your way home from work stop off at Sunny Day Baking Company, I hear they have the most unusually freshest bread in town. When you have time drop in and say hi at Jenkin’s Jams and Jellies, I understand they have blue ribbon rutabaga jams there. Kudos to Uncomfortably Dark Horror for making each and every story inside the Bakers Dozen a treat of messed up twisted goodness. A five star ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Horror Bookworm Recommendation.

[DA · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bakers Dozen is thirteen tales that will make you rethink indulging your sweet tooth with delectable baked goods. Anything you could think of is in these pages. Magic and mayhem, lust, gag-worthy grotesquery and much more! Each story has the author's unique touch to it, you can feel their style as you read their words. I devoured this book of carnage, confections and soul and I did not want it to end! This book has made me a glutton and I want more!

[Dakota Dawe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let’s cut to the chase, this might be one of the best horror anthologies in recent years. An all star cast, a unique theme, and every single author brought their A game. Each treat was baked to perfection, using only the most fresh, tastiest ingredients each baker could find. From the world’s best pretzels, to Death’s special donuts, each story is memorable and just as good as the last. Every story is unique, with something for everyone. There’s magic, revenge, cooking shows, aliens, man-eating trees, and more! Candace Nola did a hell of a job orchestrating this operation and bringing all these voices together. Baker’s Dozen deserves all the hype that it’s getting, this is a book that will make your mouth water and satisfy your hunger for horror.

[Deb Soward · Rating 5 out of 5]

What do you get when you add a pinch of murder, a sprinkle of revenge, a spoonful of creepiness and dread? You get Baker's Dozen by Candace Nola.
The line up of authors that make up this amazing anthology are top notch. You will find an array of subgenres from folk horror to extreme horror. I particularly loved the illustrations that accompanied each story.
This anthology of 13 tales is one not to miss this holiday season. This recipe of 13 tales is perfectly blended and baked to horror perfection. 5 out of 5 bloody baked goods.

[Eric Butler · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Baker’s Dozen brings together a smorgasbord of indie horror writers offering tempting treats overflowing with everything that makes the genre great. Now’s not the time to count calories, dive in, and get a taste of the wide variety indie horror has to offer in this delicious collection.

I mean really, this is one of those books you need in your collection if you are a fan of horror.

[James Carlson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having read some of the authors in this anthology in the past, I was excited to get my hands on a copy. Uncomfortably Dark did an outstanding job of selecting the talent and presenting their tales. Not one bad story out of the bunch. And the theme -- baking and horror...well, it certainly proved an interesting combination, and on several counts a disturbing one. I enjoyed Christine Morgan's story because, frankly, I find few things more terrifying than religion. She also employed a unique writing style that I couldn't help but appreciate. Chris Miller's story was pretty intense. As usual, Jeff Strand's contribution was excellent, both funny and weird, entertaining and gross. Carver Pike's piece was a sympathetic yet depraved revenge story that doesn't end well for anyone. Until this book I hadn't read Beauregard because by most accounts online his extreme horror stories are strictly for gross-out and shock value. That wasn't my experience with his Baker's Dozen story, however. In fact, I found his characters well developed and the story itself engaging and worthwhile. I always enjoy Rowland Bercy Jr.'s work, and this was no exception. Kenzie Jennings is a great writer and natural storyteller with a scary mind for horror. I could say something about every story from every author involved, but I think I've sufficiently made my point. Baker's Dozen is definitely a recommended read.

[Anja Henriksen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sweet nasty delicious anthology centered around baked goods.
The stories are very different in style, but all the goodies in the box deliver what's promised! Very entertaining.
I'm craving cake now! And I'm not sure if that's a good or bad sign.

[Stefanie Von Guest · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading two hefty novels I decided I would give a short story collection a go. With the name "Baker's Dozen" I knew that this would be a horror anthology that I would enjoy because it contains two of my favourite things, gruesome death scenes and food, I mean could you ask for anything more?

My favourite of them all has to be Of Dough and Cinnamon by Daniel Volpe, I felt it held more of a story than all of the others, after this I would have to say County Contest was my second favourite.

A delightful and quick read with some gorey scenes and lots of sweetness (sugary sweetness that is.. ) I would definitely recommend for someone looking for a palate cleanser or those who like more unusual horror.

[Todd Love · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gorgeous book inside and out. Fantastic collection of brilliant authors. I highly recommend this collection by Uncomfortably Dark! This was AMAZING!

[Hail Hydra! ~Dave Anderson~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

And Death, even though there was no real way of telling the expression on an expressionless skull, seemed content, if not downright happy, as they quietly sat on a blanket, under the stars, together.

[Stefanie Duncan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great Collection of short horror stories all surrounding baking.

[James Seamone · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent selection of short stories showcasing a variety of dark, twisted, and bloody tales with the overarching theme of baking.
highly recommended for any horror lover.

[DL Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I usually start with a summary but for this book I have to jump right in.

Firstly, there isn't a single story in here that doesn't tickle the taste buds.

Each author of this anthology are truly experts of their craft and just like at a restaurant, there's a little something for everyone. You can choose between loyal, murderous sidekicks or vengeful monks and whatever your preference nothing will disappoint.

If someone walked up to me and asked what my favorite story was...I honestly couldn't choose. Which is why this is delectably a 5-star cuisine you have to nibble slowly for fear of choking.

Summary:

Uncomfortably Dark Presents...The Baker’s Dozen!

Delicious Dark Delights for your horror consumption!

Come indulge in the dark and disturbing with 13 tantalizing tales of terror written by an incredible lineup of independent horror authors. With stories ranging from delightful to disturbing, you are sure to find something to please your sweet spot.

Authors include Jeff Strand, Christine Morgan, Ruthann Jagge, Aron Beauregard, Lee Franklin, Chris Miller, Patrick C. Harrison, III, Carver Pike, Kenzie Jennings, Daniel Volpe, Rowland Bercy, Jr., Candace Nola and M. Ennenbach. Includes a special foreword by Jeff Strand.

[Nicole Pelletier · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun, casual read

Baker’s Dozen is a compilation of short (mostly splatter-punk esque) stories. Each author has their own style and way of creating a universe. This is a great leisure read for anyone looking to find new authors to follow, or in between books.

[Autumn Feathers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy sh*t balls.

Nice concoction of sweet and disgusting morsels. All stories in this anthology are going to ruin a favorite treat or maybe a favorite baking passion…

This one has stories from several of my favorite authors, Rowland Bercy Jr, Aron Beauregard, Daniel Volpe, and Carver Pike to name a few, plus several others that I will now have to pick up other works from.

Absolutely delicious. If you’re into the dark, gory, and sometime nasty side of the horror sub-genre, and have been debating getting this, please do! It’s truly awesome, thought provoking and just gross.

[Alan Aspinall · Rating 5 out of 5]

A mix of fun and disturbing stories, Some will make u cring in disgust, others will have you LOL, One things for sure you wont look at bakerie the same again.

[Erica Summers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely stunning collection of short stories curated by Candace Nola. There was such a nicely balanced variety here and some really gruesome and chilling material. I highly recommend this anthology. I particularly loved PCH3, Aron Beauregard, and Daniel Volpe's stories the most. 5 stars. If you're looking for a solid horror anthology to sink your teeth into, look no further.

[Rain · Rating 4 out of 5]

I never would have guessed you could do so much splatter horror focused on baking! I'm not surprised this one two Splatterpunk awards. Loads of fun, gross, gleeful batterpunk (TM pending on that)

[Megan Magee · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very well themed anthology. I skipped a few, as I always do with these types of things, but this is one of my favorites I’ve read in a while. All were very cohesive, even if they weren’t my favorite. I found some new authors I’d love to explore more of, too!

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

Why write a review when the book already contains this:

"These pages are not filled with lighthearted tales of kitchen mishaps. As it turns out, "Uncomfortably Dark Horror" wasn't a typo.

These stories are messed up. They're twisted and gross and the authors involved -including me-should be ashamed of themselves for the evil they've unleashed upon the literary world.

It honestly worries me that one or more of these morally bereft monsters might someday be in a position to serve baked goods to the public.

Don't get me wrong -the stories are great. They're also remarkably varied in the ways they'll ruin baking for you. If you think this is going to be thirteen stories about making human organs into a pie, you'll be pleasantly surprised by the imagination contained within.

All I'm saying is, don't watch Jaws before swimming in the ocean, and don't read this book when you have freshly baked chocolate chip cookies cooling in the kitchen.

You've been warned. And you've probably ignored the warning, because you're a rebel who plays by their own rules, so at least try not to get crumbs all over the book."

[Yna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of stories have been memorable to me, I didn't get scared but the stories are great. It's so Brutal, gory, and messy to the core.

[Brandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved all the gory food short stories!

[Fawn Palmer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Incredibly uneven but mostly a hoot.