LIFE AFTER EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE PARENTS: RECOVERING FROM UNHEALTHY CHILDHOOD ATTACHMENTS, BREAKING THE HARMFUL CYCLE & RECLAIMING YOUR LIFE WITH 8 TECHNIQUES TO FORM SECURE ATTACHMENTS

by Vanessa A. P.

It’s time to put an end to the cycle of emotional abuse and manipulation you endured as a child.Did you have a dysfunctional family when you were growing up?

Do you feel that your parents’ immature behavior has emotionally traumatized you?

Are you determined to break this cycle of emotional abuse so that you don’t repeat it with your own kids?

A child’s brain is like a highly absorbent and impressionable. Any experience, good or bad, will have a lasting effect on a child’s development, and this continues well into adulthood.

Sadly, this also stands true for children living with emotionally unavailable or neglectful parents.

Take a moment and think about your childhood. Can you identify the signs of emotional abuse you endured from your parents?

Being insulted for your actionsBeing fearful of a parentDoubting your own choices and opinionsFeeling neglected or unlovedBeing manipulated or controlled on an emotional levelThese are all signs of emotional abuse.

You might find that most of your childhood revolved around your parents and their needs, instead of the other way around.

These traumatic experiences left a scar in your development, and now, as a parent, you want to end this cycle, making sure that you don’t treat your children in the same way.

You need to break this toxic cycle so that you can develop a nurturing, happy relationship with your kids.

And it all begins with rising from the ashes of your own childhood trauma…

In Life After Emotionally Immature Parents, you will

The 5 types of emotionally immature parents (and how their behavior affects children)How trauma is used to emotionally bond as well as isolate a child for manipulation (think Stockholm syndrome)7 unrealistic expectations of emotionally immature parents (perhaps you’ll recognize one or two from your own experience…)A clear understanding of the abuse cycle – discover the signs of emotional abuse and its cyclic pattern, along with 3 psychological manipulation tacticsParenthood done right – explore the 5 parenting styles, and discover what it really means to be a great and responsible parentThe 4 patterns of attachment styles (and why, as a parent, you should aim for ‘secure attachment’)The 10 most common toxic parenting patterns that you need to unlearn using positive messagesHow to navigate the road to recovery – acknowledge your inner child as you apply these 8 practical tips to heal from your abusive childhoodAnd much more.

Detaching yourself from the emotional trauma of your childhood will give you a positive outlook towards building a healthy relationship with your kids as you rediscover a better you.

A new life awaits… without the emotional trauma.

If you’re ready to free yourself from the toxic cycle of abuse you endured as a child, then scroll up and click “Add to Cart” right now.

Genres: Self Help

182 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 24, 2022

Reviews

[noorthebookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would love to rate this book 4.5
It's an effective & a quick & an enlightening read.
Abuse & toxic behaviour - we generally hear about these terms & relate them with outsiders or bf or in laws or husband.. atleast i have never heard about these terms in relation to parents before.

I have a very close & dear friend/relation..we have known each other for yrs..& i have observed her behaviour closely. I found she gets triggered very easily & is toxic with only close relations & is very civilised with others..i somehow started relating her behaviour to her childhood days..as she had shared some stuff with me. I tried to talk to her parents many times, but they refuse to accept anything of such sort or that she still is under childhood trauma/ emotional stress. They said everybody's childhood is like that, every family has problems. Then I started observing her parents closely..& after reading this book, am sure about certain things & emphasize with my friend. I hope she is able to come out of this cycle instead of a toxic person that she herself is becoming to her child.

"It is easier to deny emotional abuse than physical abuse because there are no bruises. But emotional abuse leaves scars that are not easily visible and this is how we lead ourselves and those around us to think that nothing is wrong. These scars are engraved into our souls and will stay there forever if we don’t actively choose to acknowledge and heal them."

Those who have endured abuse often form a kind of attachment to their abuser. This is called a trauma bond.
This trauma bonding happens when the victim develops sympathy for their abuser.

Developmental trauma disorder is what children experience after growing up in environments filled with abuse, instability, and neglect.

The four types of emotionally immature parents are;
1 overly emotional,
2 passive,
3 driven, and
4 rejecting
&
5 the narcissistic parent.

I liked the fact that the author explains how parents abuse their children, the diff. types of abuse, the diff. types of parents, what the child goes through, how he reacts to it, the diff. reactions, the impact & how to recognise & heal from it. This is useful for self or even guiding someone we know, who may need help.


A very pragmatic & enlightening read.
Here is the list of topics, the book deals with;

1. The Only Way for Children to Be Children Is When Their Parents Are Adults
2. Denial: The Painful Truth About Your Parents and Your Relationship
3. The Emotional Abuse Cycle and Manipulation Tactics
4. Now that I Am a Parent…
5. Toxic Parents Are Ruining Their Children’s Lives Without Noticing It
6. Breaking the Toxic Cycle
7. Feeling Miserable When I Should Be Happy
8. How Can I Stop Expecting?
________
It’s time to put an end to the cycle of emotional abuse and manipulation you endured as a child.
Did you have a dysfunctional family when you were growing up?
Do you feel that your parents’ immature behavior has emotionally traumatized you?
Are you determined to break this cycle of emotional abuse so that you don’t repeat it with your own kids?
A child’s brain is like a sponge: highly absorbent and impressionable. Any experience, good or bad, will have a lasting effect on a child’s development, and this continues well into adulthood.
Sadly, this also stands true for children living with emotionally unavailable or neglectful parents.
Take a moment and think about your childhood. Can you identify the signs of emotional abuse you endured from your parents?

Being insulted for your actions

Being fearful of a parent

Doubting your own choices and opinions

Feeling neglected or unloved

Being manipulated or controlled on an emotional level

These are all signs of emotional abuse.
You might find that most of your childhood revolved around your parents and their needs, instead of the other way around.
These traumatic experiences left a scar in your development, and now, as a parent, you want to end this cycle, making sure that you don’t treat your children in the same way.
You need to break this toxic cycle so that you can develop a nurturing, happy relationship with your kids.
And it all begins with rising from the ashes of your own childhood trauma…
_______
In Life After Emotionally Immature Parents, you will discover:

The 5 types of emotionally immature parents (and how their behavior affects children)

How trauma is used to emotionally bond as well as isolate a child for manipulation (think Stockholm syndrome)

7 unrealistic expectations of emotionally immature parents (perhaps you’ll recognize one or two from your own experience…)

A clear understanding of the abuse cycle – discover the signs of emotional abuse and its cyclic pattern, along with 3 psychological manipulation tactics

Parenthood done right – explore the 5 parenting styles, and discover what it really means to be a great and responsible parent

The 4 patterns of attachment styles (and why, as a parent, you should aim for ‘secure attachment’)

The 10 most common toxic parenting patterns that you need to unlearn using positive messages

How to navigate the road to recovery – acknowledge your inner child as you apply these 8 practical tips to heal from your abusive childhood

And much more.
Detaching yourself from the emotional trauma of your childhood will give you a positive outlook towards building a healthy relationship with your kids as you rediscover a better you.
A new life awaits… without the emotional trauma.
If you’re ready to free yourself from the toxic cycle of abuse you endured as a child, then scroll up and click “Add to Cart” right now.
_______
I recommend this book, wholeheartedly.

[Molly Gaug · Rating 2 out of 5]

Written like a 7th grade science textbook.

[Paty Pana · Rating 4 out of 5]

~ I read this book in collaboration with the author-this is my honest review.

Life after Emotionally Immature Parents was the 14th book I read this year, and I found it enlightening and helpful.

For people who have grown up with emotionally abusive parents, whether in the form of neglect or too much interfering, this book offers the comfort of being reassured that you're not alone. At the same time, it offers valuable info about how to stop the toxic cycle and not reproduce the behavioural patterns when you make your own family.

This non fiction book is full of information that can help you identify if you've possibly been a victim of emotional abuse, highlighting the different abusive parents types, the several types of child abuse, the manipulation tactics that may have been implemented on you, descriptions of various structures of dysfunctional families, types of child reaction and much more.

I appreciated how the author makes it clear from the start that this self discovery book can't substitute for therapy, and specifically points out that parents are just human beings who are doing their best to raise other good humans. This doesn't mean you can't be hurt by their ways, and that you can't even detach yourself from them, but this is a reality we should take into consideration before any decision or action.

If there is something I would wish to be different in this book, it would be that it doesn't set a solid line between being strict and being emotionally abusive. On the other hand, this book should only be treated as a pre-therapy approach to the problem, so it still serves its initial approach duty perfectly.

Another thing I enjoyed was that we get to familiarise ourselves with some terms we may have heard in our daily lives with no deeper knowledge of what they exactly mean. For example, I found the explanation of Stockholm's syndrome very educative, and I discovered interesting scientific facts such as how childhood emotional abuse may even have a physical impact on the brain, and fire up a mental illness In the future. Everything was presented in a way that urged self reflection, and the book is suitable for everyone- not just children with a difficult childhood. After all, it can be beneficial to better parenting when you become a parent yourself.

Lastly, in the end of the book you can find a free self evaluation checklist that points out some of the signs of toxic behaviour, so that you can get started with spotting whether you should seek for external support.

I'd definitely recommend reading it to better understand the world around you and maybe some of your own character traits!

[Smily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start my review by appreciating Mrs. A.P. Vanessa who brought this complicated yet interesting topic that every prospective parent underwent at least once in their respective childhood/parenthood. Being a research analyst on emotional abuse and other trauma her book very much talks about those for effective parenting. Simple & subtle way of presenting with decent vocabulary and error-free grammar semantics.

The book starts with a piece of advice to every parent to act responsibly and to help their respective children get rid of blame, denial, and abuse in their early childhood stage. Immature parents are not only self-toxic but also spread their chaotic nature and hamper the positive growth of their loved ones. She also explains the types of immature parents and their aftereffects on child growth. Next, she speaks about the denial nature and it's after effect that leads to the traumatic bond breakage and pushes children towards irreversible havoc in their life and end up struggling throughout. The author also shared the varieties of emotional child abuse and respective cycles which lead to ill-treatment of children and many more

"All struggles and no solution is not good as a therapist", author in the second half of the book awfully explains the solution of every trauma type so that the parenting traumas or dysfunctions that lead to a happy life for parents and have ambition and smooth childhood with a growth motive and to sculpt every child towards a bright future.

I recommend this book especially for "to be a parent" couples, this is a perfect handbook for those who are expecting a child in near future and this also serves as a caution to follow everything the author stressed upon which is to be implemented from Day 1 after they confirmed to be parents. This also is a perfect book who feel they are traumatized while bringing up their children as well. Lastly, I recommend this to every book reader as this gives heads-up to many complicated and to-be-known kinds of stuff.

"We are all capable of change & growth; we just need to know where to begin"

[Rutuja Ramteke · Rating 5 out of 5]

🍷The concept of toxic parents and dysfunctional family is not new but our society fails to address it and we're yet to explore the topic in detail, when I saw this book I couldn't stop myself from reading it. This is one of most important books that I have read this month, it's very precise and divided into short and insightful chapters where in each chapter the author exactly knows what to deliver. The amount of research and effort went into it is clearly visible by presentation and writing. I loved how each aspect of the topic is explored in depth where you would know you went through that traumatic situation and couldn't even understand what was wrong back then.
.
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The book talks in detail about toxic relationship with parents, the pain and trauma it follows, how it affects and deteriorates a beautiful future of a child and how one can overcome it. The way it talks about solutions is wholesome, it's not just helpful but also very practical and provides an emotional support to the one who has been through the situation.
.
.
“This too shall pass.” “My childhood was not my fault.” “I am enough just as I am.” “I choose to feel good today.”
The chapter summary after each chapter is truly helpful for the readers to summarise everything and consider important takeaways from the entire chapter. I truly loved it and I think it's a life changing book that truly needs to be read and heard. Please spread the word, it might actually save or help someone. I will definitely recommend it.
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Rating: 4.5⭐️

[Hovering_blabbering · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotional maturity is very essential for every individual to nurture in building their bond, especially in the early of parenthood it`s very important to craft their children and gift a good person to society. However, when this skill is lacking in the parents it will damage not only the children`s bonding but also the society.
This book talks everything about the pain points and aftereffects of children and respective parents who are emotionally immature. It starts with a strong message to parents suggesting them to think from the children`s perspective and understand the aftereffects of being neglected, blamed, or abused. Consequent chapters deal with the topics like denial, humiliation, instinctive abusive cycles, psychological manipulations, and toxicity which are the strikers that weaken the bonding of children and parents who subsequently put themselves in submissive nature and develop a state that leads to dangerous damage. This book serves as an effective aid for every individual, especially early parents and to serve them a good handbook in bringing their children into a healthy and toxic-free environment to make them confident individuals in society.
I would like to thank the author from bottom of my heart for drafting her experiences through her studies and research on emotional abuse. This book will avoid every parent to undergo emotional trauma experiences in bringing up their kids.

[Book_world143 · Rating 4 out of 5]

It has been really difficult for us, as guardians, to program our cerebrum and deal with our sentiments since our kids were conceived. Me and my significant other truly adored the basic way the way that the writer demonstrates the way that we can animate brain associations in our children with adoration and profound educationShould've perused this book previously! In the start of the book I began to acknowledge something was off with how I was raised. Going through the pages, I comprehended how my experience growing up encounters impacted, regardless does, my grown-up life. It's an astounding book fundamentally on the grounds that it tells you the best way to break the poisonous cycle.I am so moved by the substance of this book and prescribe it to all guardians. Knowing that even without playing a decent parental part model, you can track down your way to being a decent one on the off chance that you are available to the experience of being a decent one. It checks out that on the off chance that you know what isn't OK or comprehend the things you could do without about nurturing, you definitely know something and will push ahead to be a superior parent. Gratitude for the insight partook in the book

[Vaj Vijaya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every house is a glass house. One cannot point fingers at anyone when our situation itself is precarious. I heard my uncle often telling this statement in a different way - every dosa has holes in it. Which means that every home has issues.

Home is supposed to be a safe haven where we can be ourselves and shed our anxieties and laugh out loud.

But what if the house which comprises of our parents turns out into a living hell where trust, honor, love and respect - the basic tenets of any relationship are missing.

This is what they author beautifully elucidated in this book through short chapters. For anyone facing struggles with their parents, or how to deal with the trauma of it is suggested here. Ironically I just had a conversation with a friend who is going through these issues. It helped me leaf out few suggestions to help him sort out the predicament he finds himself in.

A very important read and I appreciate the author for picking this subject as it's a taboo in our society where parents are equivalent to God's. It's high time we remind ourselves that they deserve all the respect but they are humans like us after all. I hope this book is helpful to all who are in need for guidance.

[Ajayshankar11 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life After Emotionally Immature Parents book by Vanessa A. P. is a non fiction read educating readers to become good parents and mature human beings.

For all human beings it's very difficult to understand /work on /know about mental health, emotions we feel/express, as we all feel we are right for ourselves, we don't see our mistakes /accept issues in us. Author here has penned each and every possible emotional trauma a child may face/ go through from their parents, what it leads to in a child/ individual, solution one needs to work on to get out of ill effects and slowly reclaim life. The first few chapters describing the issues, step by step process, analysing the problem, where it leads to, then the later chapters for techniques to avoid above/ reclaim life. People who have faced trauma from their parents can easily relate to this book, it is a life transforming book for them. Book may not appeal to all. Language used in this book is such that a common man can easily understand. Book is a short read but very insightful.

A nice book for transformation as individuals /parents, creating a better world for children so don't skip this one. Would recommend to all parents, to be parents and all adults.

[Vani Vegesna · Rating 4 out of 5]

The e-book talks in element approximately poisonous relationship with dad and mom, the pain and trauma it follows, the way it impacts and deteriorates a stunning future of a toddler and how one can overcome it.

The manner it talks approximately solutions is healthful, it is no longer simply helpful but additionally very practical and gives an emotional help to the one who has been thru the scenario.

This is certainly one of maximum crucial books that I have examine this month, it's very specific and divided into short and insightful chapters in which in each chapter the writer precisely is aware of what to supply.

The amount of research and effort went into it is in reality visible by means of presentation and writing.

This is what they author beautifully elucidated in this book through short chapters. For anyone facing struggles with their parents, or how to deal with the trauma of it is suggested here.

Ironically I just had a conversation with a friend who is going through these issues. It helped me leaf out few suggestions to help him sort out the predicament he finds himself in.

Happy reading ❤️

[MAPP Lab · Rating 5 out of 5]

Feelings in Focus: Emotionally Immature Parents Study

The Multimethod Assessment of Personality and Psychopathology (MAPP) Lab at Cleveland State University wants to understand your experience!

During childhood, did your parent:
* Avoid emotional situations or conversations?
* Get defensive, angry, or upset when you told them how you felt?
* Make you feel guilty for expressing your feelings?
* Have difficulty with criticism or self-reflection?
* Not think about other people’s feeling?
* Tell you to stop being emotional or to “get over it”?

Requirements to participate:
* Age 18 years or older
* Reside in the U.S.
* Be fluent in English
* Have/had a parent who is emotionally immature (does any of the listed behaviors)

This IRB approved study (IRB-FY2024-264), will not associate usernames or profiles with responses in any way. If you have any questions, please contact Dr. Kathleen W. Reardon, the faculty advisor, and I at mapplab@csuohio.edu or (216) 687-3762.

If you’re interested, you can access the interest form here: https://csufull.qualtrics.com/jfe/for...

[Santosh Mohan · Rating 4 out of 5]

FAB BOOK REVIEW OF "Life after Emotionally Immature Parents" by Vanessa A.P.

Rating: 4/5

"Life after Emotionally Immature Parents: Recovering from unhealthy childhood attachments, breaking the harmful cycle& reclaiming your life with 8 techniques to form secure attachments," written by Vanessa A.P, is a non-fiction read on the topic that some light should be shed. It tells us about not-so-good relationships with parents and the trauma that the child has to face. The book covers emotionally abusive parents and how the child has to go through mental torture.
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This book has been written after doing a lot of research and it has a lot of practical tips given in the book. This is a very practical read and needs a lot of awareness while reading it. Every chapter had been explained with the knowledge of the trauma. The presentation of the book and writing is great. Overall, it is a read that is not meant for all the readers and one should read the book at a slow pace so that the knowledge is acquired.

[Shruti Mishra · Rating 5 out of 5]

A couple should not become a parent unless they are mature enough to take care of the child. Immature parents can't handles themselves, how will they handle the whole baby..?
It is very common these days, due to numerous reasons a child has to bear the sufferings. This way the kid can also develop childhood trauma or other psychological disorders.
Parents and guardians are meant to take care of the child and teach them good things, make them emotionally intelligent and responsible. But how can parenting be good when parents aren't mature enough themselves.
This book is a great book revolving around the same and talks about how we can break this chain or how we can prevent such things from happening.
Divided into short and insightful chapters, this book is much needed book. Simple language makes it a basic read for.even the non readers and suitable for beginners. A perfect book for all ages and even the yound adults can also learn from.this book.for their future.

[Shreya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life after emotionally immature parents
By Vanessa AP

This is a very interesting book and the content is very different and new to me .
The main theme of the book is how the bad and toxic relationship of parents between them and also with the child affects the child's in a long term .
It is very important to have a peaceful and calm environment at home for a proper development of a child when you will read this book you will realise more or less you are also affected with this and there are many insecurities and problems of your life is result of your childhood unknown disturbance.
Today's young parents should definitely read this book it is very helpful and will surely make your relationship much better .
Language used is simple and easy to understand and narration done is very well.
Must read 👍😍

[Arindam Ghosh · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author has certainly given it outstanding. I'd like to have a look at this book. This book really helps us to recognize our insecurities and anxieties at some point in our childhood. It made me realize that many of my worries / problems as a child or even now as an adult were due to my mentally immature parents.
💫It is easier to deny emotional abuse than physical abuse because there are no bruises. But emotional abuse leaves scars that are not easily visible and this is how we lead ourselves and those around us to think that nothing is wrong. These scars are engraved into our souls and will stay there forever if we don’t actively choose to acknowledge and heal them.

Easy to read and understand. Helpful, informative, really helped me to see and see that I grew up in an abusive family.
This book is really necessary to everyone, even those who never found themselves in a toxic relationship with their parents. Moreover, it's a pleasant and warm read.
Highly recommended! 😊



My ratting - 4/5(⭐)

My ratting - 4/5(⭐)

[Anurag Kumar · Rating 4 out of 5]

The e-book talks in element approximately poisonous relationship with dad and mom, the pain and trauma it follows, the way it impacts and deteriorates a stunning future of a toddler and how one can overcome it. The manner it talks approximately solutions is healthful, it is no longer simply helpful but additionally very practical and gives an emotional help to the one who has been thru the scenario.


This is certainly one of maximum crucial books that I have examine this month, it's very specific and divided into short and insightful chapters in which in each chapter the writer precisely is aware of what to supply. The amount of research and effort went into it is in reality visible by means of presentation and writing.

The language of the e book is simple to recognize.

[Tiya Khera · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book definitely make us realise about our insecurities and worries which we tend to had during our childhood.
The way this book explain the realtionship between parents and children is worth a read.
Not everyone are blessed with good parents their do exist some parents who are emotionally abusive and this tend to disturb the well being and mental peace of their kids.
The depiction of the book that parents can also be toxic is a strong point too.
This book provides practical solutions too ,to all the toxicity and abusive problem faced by the children from their toxic parents.
All and all it's a good read.

[Shubam Rajora · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the opening of the book, I realized something wasn't quite right about my upbringing. Working my way through the pages
Knowing that even if you don't play a good parental role model, you can work your way up to being one if you're willing to put in the effort. It was comfortable reading this book and learning so many things regarding my parents' connection with me, as well as the fact that it is good to keep my distance from the ones who continue to give me grief. This is a must-read for all parents and soon-to-be parents. It comes highly recommended from me.

[Vanani · Rating 5 out of 5]

It talks about solutions in a style that is healthy, not only beneficial but also very practical and provides emotional support. Reading this book and learning so many things about my parents' connection with me, as well as the fact that it's alright to keep my distance from individuals who still give me pain, was a huge relief. It makes obvious that if you know what's not okay and what you don't enjoy about parenting, you'll be able to avoid it.

[RaChelle Holmberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Received as a gift from Hidden Gems, this book is THE BOMB ! After spending 65 years feeling terribly uncared about because my (5 times divorced) mother is angry at me for having blue eyes like my father, this book was very eye- opening, no pun intended..... Its not something to read from cover to cover, but rather a tool to be used over and over. Highly recommended. It really resonated, to me, in a bazillion ways.

[ErikaShmerika Wine · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This book is about 200 pages of large-font/deeply spaced text, much of which is indented for bullet points, so if you’re looking for a deep-dive into ‘life after’ you probably won’t find it here. It is a good refresher of the basics, though; and has some helpful insights into the pitfalls that children of emotionally immature parents might face in raising their own children.

[Breandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Book!

I really loved how detailed this book was in regard to the types of households one grows up in, and I am so appreciate of the tools the author provides to overcome the trauma experienced as a child.

[Lilian · Rating 2 out of 5]

content is okay but hated the writing style