Fabricia

by Doug Bleichner

Jim Jimston makes khaki in Fabricia, a realm where denim garb has reigned supreme as the customary clothing for centuries. After inheriting his father's khaki factory, the first of its kind, Jim falls into the role of khaki master with ease. Jim is content, until one day his life comes crashing down.

390 pages, Paperback

Published April 26, 2022

About the author

Doug Bleichner is a writer and musician from Savannah Georgia.

Reviews

[Austin Oliver · Rating 5 out of 5]

I fell into a years long reading slump, of which I am happy to say I am beginning climb out the other side. In the initial attempts to break out of it, however, I ordered and tried reading Fabricia, having seen it plugged on author Doug Bleichner and Sam Wagstaff’s live show, Skeleton Realm Live. After taking a large bite of this thing, It hadn’t yet cured my temporary illiteracy. Fabricia was put down for about a year. Upon picking up the book again I was offput to discover that the polymer coating on the outside of the paperback, the one applied to give what at first seemed to be a pleasant soft-touch matte finish, had gradually broken down in the interim, resulting in the paperback becoming oily and sticky, picking up fingerprints and errant fibers. After a brief and fruitless effort to clean and remove the greasy film, I decided I had to simply press on, finish the novel, and wash my hands afterwards. I was quickly reminded of Fabricia’s oftentimes wet and messy content, and began to interpret this thick grease glossing my fingers as an intended feature specifically requested by the author of the manufacturer to enhance the reading experience. Many times throughout Fabricia a character is flushing their bowels and defecating and likely urinating a’swell, be it on the floor, in a bowelbucketchairchamber (1), or in the malfunctioning mechanical flap of their khaki pants. It’s a gross-out high-fantasy novel full of poop and pee and blood, and at one point maybe puke, not to mention the fecalesque food (-slopp) the characters in Fabricia love to slurp on.


I have been enamored with the bizarre eccentricities of the show Skeleton Realm Live; the strong worldbuilding, the comedic chops of the hosts, the elaborate arcs complete with elaborate sets to match, ever since it started. If you haven’t seen it, and I’m serious, watch all the episodes on youtube, in order, from the beginning, right now. At least start it. It is an incredibly earnest and professional production; a twisted variety show that exists entirely within the Skeleton Realm. Doug and Sam seem to play TV hosts in an alternate universe for the fictional production company MeMore TV, constantly having to appease their bosses to keep their show on the air. They plan segments and announce guests that never appear (“Up next, Little Alien Guys aaaandyeah, They’re Green!”) There are characters with several episode arcs. There’s a 3-episode saga where they show off their “fishing gear from the thrift store” which turn out to be bomb vests, they blow up their studio, and go to jail. The sets were so lovingly crafted, so professionally done; the scripts so genuinely funny and narratively tight; the camerawork and shot direction is literally deeply inspired, on a niche Youtube show with a slim budget. Fabricia is, with all its flaws, as special and beautiful as Skeleton Realm Live.

I think the prose is often flat and dry. Each word seems to take up the same amount of time and pulls equal weight for the whole sentence. It reads opposite Doug’s insanely animated and varied host personality. Descriptions of characters and their actions were usually bland and unlyrical, unmusical. The colors were less vivid in my mental image, more watercolor with soft edges. The pacing is steady, and could have done with being more efficient or robust. I want chapter long descriptions of poop or paragraph long fights.

(1) Bowelbucketchairchamber: A chamber which houses a bowelbucket. Fabricia makes frequent use of footnotes to define the history and etymology of Fabrician culture and folklore. These footnotes do a great job of getting a lot of worldbuilding done quickly most times, and other times show up to define the mundane Fabricia vocab words that have a direct, real world analog. They can grow to be a little tiring and more tedious at their worst.

But this book is incredibly funny all around. It’s like the SHRIM sketch from Tim and Eric but in feudal Europe.

I have to give this book 5 stars, despite its visible shortcomings. What it lacks in technical or formal excellence, it makes up for in heart, in immense passion and genuine comedy. Read Fabricia, it is very good. But in my opinion, let the cover get a little sticky first.

[Boy Dyl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is basically a long fever dream, for better or for worse. I think it was written specifically for the 8 or so people who remember when Sam Hyde used to do live streams and read something very similar to this. I can’t even describe it. There’s long stretches of this book where you’ll be totally sucked in by the world building and invented language (think Clockwork Orange), and then in another moment it will really sink in that you’ve gotten sucked into a high fantasy world centered largely around dung-style slop substances. You’ll know if it’s for you by the end of chapter 1. It will stick with me for a really long time, and if “Doug” ever writes another book I’ll be the first to buy, but i’ll probably have it shipped to my house under a pseudonym.