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The Christian Lover
Marriage is under attack now more than ever. Even within the church, homosexuality, divorce, and shallow, sentimental views of love are subverting God’s design for husbands and wives. To help Christian couples counter these trends and recover marriage as God intended it, Dr. Michael A.G. Haykin has compiled a rich anthology of love letters from saints of the past. Each letter gives us a glimpse of what marriage should be: joyful companionship, deep passion, and unfailing commitment through the ups and downs of life. At its best, Christian marriage is a foretaste of eternal bliss—and it’s far more satisfying than any of the substitutes this world has to offer.
101 pages, Hardcover
First published January 31, 2009
28 people are currently reading
381 people want to read
About the author
Michael A.G. Haykin
112 books70 followersDr. Michael A.G. Haykin is the Professor of Church History and Biblical Spirituality and Director of The Andrew Fuller Center for Baptist Studies at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.
He is also the editor of Eusebeia: The Bulletin of The Andrew Fuller Center for Baptist Studies. His present areas of research include 18th-century British Baptist life and thought, as well as Patristic Trinitarianism and Baptist piety.
Haykin is a prolific writer having authored numerous books, over 250 articles and over 150 book reviews. He is also an accomplished editor with numerous editorial credits.
He is also the editor of Eusebeia: The Bulletin of The Andrew Fuller Center for Baptist Studies. His present areas of research include 18th-century British Baptist life and thought, as well as Patristic Trinitarianism and Baptist piety.
Haykin is a prolific writer having authored numerous books, over 250 articles and over 150 book reviews. He is also an accomplished editor with numerous editorial credits.
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
June 8, 2023
In a culture of disappearing snapchats and texts that send at the speed of light, we have truly lost the beauty and ability to communicate in this way, let alone romantically. Letters are a precious legacy for future generations to see the tender love between two saints. This needs to be revived!
October 17, 2013
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word." (Ephesians 5:25-26). The Christian Lover: The Sweetness of Love and Marriage in the Letters of Believers takes a unique look at love and marriage within some of Christian history's greatest theologians. One of the things that is so neat about being able to read letters that were either written from one spouse to another, or were written from one spouse to a friend about their spouse (as is the case of John Calvin's letters about his wife), is that you get to see raw human emotions at work. Sometimes, we are predisposed to think of guys like John Calvin like they are unfeeling theologians who sit in their studies all day long and only take breaks long enough to use the restroom before heading back to their theological studies. Mr. Haykin's book brings a level of humanity to these theologians that the church has been lacking for quite some time, and for that I am truly grateful to him. Each chapter has a brief biographical glimpse at the theologian and his ministry and also tells somewhat of the backstory on how he and his wife came to meet and get married.
- Chapter 1: Martin & Katharina Luther - One of the things that stands out the most in Martin Luther's love letters to his wife is his ardent sense of humor. He tenderly poked fun at his wife Katharina as evidenced by his addressing her as "...the holy lady, full of worries, Mrs. Katharina, doctor, the lady of Zolsdorf at Wittenberg, my gracious, dear mistress of the house." He even pokes fun at her for worrying so much that it caused a fire to occur right outside of Martin's room one night that almost killed him, and that the worry also almost caused a stone to fall on his head.
- Chapter 2: John & Idelette Calvin - Calvin's deep love for his wife is truly evident in the way he writes about her soon after her death to his close friends and colleagues, Pierre Viret and Guillaume Farel, "I have been bereaved of the best companion of my life, of one who, had it been so ordered, would not have been the willing sharer of my indigence, but even of my death. During her life she was the faithful helper of my ministry. From her I never experienced the slightest hindrance."
- Chapter 3: John & Lucy Hutchinson - John was the Puritan military commander of Nottingham during the British Civil Wars, who played a significant role in the death of Charles I in 1649. He was eventually arrested on suspicion of plotting against the government and imprisoned in Sandown Castle, Kent, where he succumbed to death by fever. John's wife, Lucy, wanted to vindicate her husband by pulling together a memoir in his honor. The memoir is a beautiful picture of the passion that existed in the marriage between two Puritans. "...never a man had a greater passion for a woman, nor a more honourable esteem of a wife;"
- Chapter 4: Philip & Mercy Doddridge – Philip was a pastor, teacher, and author with both puritan roots and broad Calvinistic beliefs. His letters to his wife are filled with deep longings and desires to be present with his wife. “I am now at the greatest distance from you in person than I ever was, or I hope I ever shall be, for it is more than two hundred miles, yet I was never nearer to you in affection, and perhaps never more sensible of my happiness in being so near to you in relation.”
- Chapter 5: Benjamin Beddome & Anne Steele – Both were Calvinistic Baptist hymn writers who lived in the 18th century whose hymns were very instrumental in revitalizing the English Calvinistic Baptist community. Anne was chronically ill and never traveled far from home for the majority of her life. However, that didn’t stop her from writing hymns that deeply impacted people for the cause of Christ. The interesting thing about this love story is that it seems that Benjamin actually proposed to Anne Steele in 1742 and was rejected by Anne. Benjamin went on to marry Elizabeth Bothwell and Anne remained a widow. Benjamin’s letters to Anne are full of poetry and tell the story of a man smitten with a woman who would eventually break his heart.
Chapter 6: Henry & Eling Venn – Pastor of a parish in Huddersfield whose church saw tremendous growth during his ministry. History shows that during one 3 year span there were around 900 conversions under his preaching. Eling, Henry’s wife, died in 1767, and he eventually went on to remarry. The letter included in this book from Henry to Eling shows a man so passionate for the things of God, and desirous to stir up Eling’s affections for God before really dealing with his love for her and her love for him.
Chapter 7: Thomas & Sally Charles – Thomas was a Welsh Calvinistic Methodist who married Sally Jones, a shopkeeper’s daughter from Bala, North Wales. One of the letters included in this book shows that Sally did not reciprocate Thomas’ affections at first, but that did not stop him from continuing to pursue her and eventually win her hand in marriage. “Such an unexpected address from a person who never saw you but once, and that at such a long interval of time, will I suppose at first not a little surprise you. However I flatter myself that thus circumstanced it comes with the more recommendation, when I assure you that long as the interval is since I had the pleasure of seeing you, you have not been absent from my mind for a whole day, from that time to this.”
Chapter 8: Samuel & Sarah Pearce – Samuel was the son of Baptist parents born in Plymouth, and the congregation where his family attended church soon realized that God had gifted him for ministry. He went off to school, graduated, and took his one and only ministry at Cannon Street Baptist Church in Birmingham where he was blessed with an extremely fruitful ministry. His affection for his wife, and dearest friend, Sarah is easily seen in the following snippet from a letter, “Were I averse to writing . . . one of your dear Epistles could not fail of conquering the antipathy and transforming it into desire. The moment I peruse a line from my Sarah, I am inspired at the propensity which never leaves me, till I have thrown open my whole heart, and returned a copy of it to the dear being who long since compelled it to a voluntary surrender, and whose claims have never since been disputed.”
Chapter 9: Adoniram & Ann Judson: English speaking missionaries to Burma. The letters included in this book were both written before their marriage. One of the neatest letters in this entire book is the one that Adoniram wrote to Ann’s dad, John Hasseltine, asking for John’s blessing over their marriage and his willingness to let Ann go with him to a foreign country and lay down their lives for the sake of the Gospel.
Chapter 10: John & Lottie Broadus – John was a pastor for a number of years at Charlottesville Baptist Church before joining James P. Boyce in founding Southern Baptist Theological Seminary where he taught New Testament and homiletics. John is very open and honest about both his love for Lottie, and his need for her in his life on a daily basis.
Chapter 11: Martyn & Bethan Lloyd-Jones – I personally love Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, and his ministry has had a resounding effect upon me. However, I honestly knew very little about his wife, so it was neat to hear her story and she the kind of impact that she had on “The Doctor”. “As I have told you many, many times, the passing of the years does nothing but deepen and intensify my love for you. When I think of those days in London in 1925 and ’26, when I thought that no greater love was possible, I could laugh. But honestly, during this last year I had come to believe that it was not possible for a man to love his wife more than I loved you. And yet I see that there is no end to love, and that it is still true that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
- Chapter 12: Helmuth & Freya Von Moltke – Helmuth’s story is both interesting, and unique. He was actually drafted into the Nazi regime’s counterintelligence agency in 1939, even though he was a devout Christian. He used his position to save prisoners and hostages. However, he was caught warning someone who was in danger of arrest, and hanged in Plotzensee Prison in Berlin in 1945. Helmuth wrote over 1600 letters to his wife over the course of their relationship. The letter recorded in this book is incredibly moving.
Truly, this is a unique book, and one that I highly recommend. It is a book that brings so much humanity to those who we have so much respect for that have preceeded us in the faith.
I received this for free from Reformation Trust Publishing in exchange for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
- Chapter 1: Martin & Katharina Luther - One of the things that stands out the most in Martin Luther's love letters to his wife is his ardent sense of humor. He tenderly poked fun at his wife Katharina as evidenced by his addressing her as "...the holy lady, full of worries, Mrs. Katharina, doctor, the lady of Zolsdorf at Wittenberg, my gracious, dear mistress of the house." He even pokes fun at her for worrying so much that it caused a fire to occur right outside of Martin's room one night that almost killed him, and that the worry also almost caused a stone to fall on his head.
- Chapter 2: John & Idelette Calvin - Calvin's deep love for his wife is truly evident in the way he writes about her soon after her death to his close friends and colleagues, Pierre Viret and Guillaume Farel, "I have been bereaved of the best companion of my life, of one who, had it been so ordered, would not have been the willing sharer of my indigence, but even of my death. During her life she was the faithful helper of my ministry. From her I never experienced the slightest hindrance."
- Chapter 3: John & Lucy Hutchinson - John was the Puritan military commander of Nottingham during the British Civil Wars, who played a significant role in the death of Charles I in 1649. He was eventually arrested on suspicion of plotting against the government and imprisoned in Sandown Castle, Kent, where he succumbed to death by fever. John's wife, Lucy, wanted to vindicate her husband by pulling together a memoir in his honor. The memoir is a beautiful picture of the passion that existed in the marriage between two Puritans. "...never a man had a greater passion for a woman, nor a more honourable esteem of a wife;"
- Chapter 4: Philip & Mercy Doddridge – Philip was a pastor, teacher, and author with both puritan roots and broad Calvinistic beliefs. His letters to his wife are filled with deep longings and desires to be present with his wife. “I am now at the greatest distance from you in person than I ever was, or I hope I ever shall be, for it is more than two hundred miles, yet I was never nearer to you in affection, and perhaps never more sensible of my happiness in being so near to you in relation.”
- Chapter 5: Benjamin Beddome & Anne Steele – Both were Calvinistic Baptist hymn writers who lived in the 18th century whose hymns were very instrumental in revitalizing the English Calvinistic Baptist community. Anne was chronically ill and never traveled far from home for the majority of her life. However, that didn’t stop her from writing hymns that deeply impacted people for the cause of Christ. The interesting thing about this love story is that it seems that Benjamin actually proposed to Anne Steele in 1742 and was rejected by Anne. Benjamin went on to marry Elizabeth Bothwell and Anne remained a widow. Benjamin’s letters to Anne are full of poetry and tell the story of a man smitten with a woman who would eventually break his heart.
Chapter 6: Henry & Eling Venn – Pastor of a parish in Huddersfield whose church saw tremendous growth during his ministry. History shows that during one 3 year span there were around 900 conversions under his preaching. Eling, Henry’s wife, died in 1767, and he eventually went on to remarry. The letter included in this book from Henry to Eling shows a man so passionate for the things of God, and desirous to stir up Eling’s affections for God before really dealing with his love for her and her love for him.
Chapter 7: Thomas & Sally Charles – Thomas was a Welsh Calvinistic Methodist who married Sally Jones, a shopkeeper’s daughter from Bala, North Wales. One of the letters included in this book shows that Sally did not reciprocate Thomas’ affections at first, but that did not stop him from continuing to pursue her and eventually win her hand in marriage. “Such an unexpected address from a person who never saw you but once, and that at such a long interval of time, will I suppose at first not a little surprise you. However I flatter myself that thus circumstanced it comes with the more recommendation, when I assure you that long as the interval is since I had the pleasure of seeing you, you have not been absent from my mind for a whole day, from that time to this.”
Chapter 8: Samuel & Sarah Pearce – Samuel was the son of Baptist parents born in Plymouth, and the congregation where his family attended church soon realized that God had gifted him for ministry. He went off to school, graduated, and took his one and only ministry at Cannon Street Baptist Church in Birmingham where he was blessed with an extremely fruitful ministry. His affection for his wife, and dearest friend, Sarah is easily seen in the following snippet from a letter, “Were I averse to writing . . . one of your dear Epistles could not fail of conquering the antipathy and transforming it into desire. The moment I peruse a line from my Sarah, I am inspired at the propensity which never leaves me, till I have thrown open my whole heart, and returned a copy of it to the dear being who long since compelled it to a voluntary surrender, and whose claims have never since been disputed.”
Chapter 9: Adoniram & Ann Judson: English speaking missionaries to Burma. The letters included in this book were both written before their marriage. One of the neatest letters in this entire book is the one that Adoniram wrote to Ann’s dad, John Hasseltine, asking for John’s blessing over their marriage and his willingness to let Ann go with him to a foreign country and lay down their lives for the sake of the Gospel.
Chapter 10: John & Lottie Broadus – John was a pastor for a number of years at Charlottesville Baptist Church before joining James P. Boyce in founding Southern Baptist Theological Seminary where he taught New Testament and homiletics. John is very open and honest about both his love for Lottie, and his need for her in his life on a daily basis.
Chapter 11: Martyn & Bethan Lloyd-Jones – I personally love Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, and his ministry has had a resounding effect upon me. However, I honestly knew very little about his wife, so it was neat to hear her story and she the kind of impact that she had on “The Doctor”. “As I have told you many, many times, the passing of the years does nothing but deepen and intensify my love for you. When I think of those days in London in 1925 and ’26, when I thought that no greater love was possible, I could laugh. But honestly, during this last year I had come to believe that it was not possible for a man to love his wife more than I loved you. And yet I see that there is no end to love, and that it is still true that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
- Chapter 12: Helmuth & Freya Von Moltke – Helmuth’s story is both interesting, and unique. He was actually drafted into the Nazi regime’s counterintelligence agency in 1939, even though he was a devout Christian. He used his position to save prisoners and hostages. However, he was caught warning someone who was in danger of arrest, and hanged in Plotzensee Prison in Berlin in 1945. Helmuth wrote over 1600 letters to his wife over the course of their relationship. The letter recorded in this book is incredibly moving.
Truly, this is a unique book, and one that I highly recommend. It is a book that brings so much humanity to those who we have so much respect for that have preceeded us in the faith.
I received this for free from Reformation Trust Publishing in exchange for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
October 12, 2023
In compiling the letters of believing couples through history, the Haykins do a fantastic job of depicting the ordinary, nurturing, passionate, courageous and fun aspects of godly marriage. It’s encouraging to see how much marriage has changed in our modern world and also how much it remains the same. This is a quote from von Moltke to his wife before his execution by the Nazi regime, “You are not one of God's agents to make me what I am, rather you are myself. You are my thirteenth chapter of the First Epistle to the Corinthians. Without this chapter no human being is truly human. Without you I would have accepted love. . . But without you, my dear, I would not have "had" love. I should not think of saying that I love you; that would be quite false. Rather you are the one part of me, which would be lacking if I was alone.”
July 2, 2023
A lovely and inspiring collection of Christian love letters, the ones from Luther were expectedly funny. Short and sweet!
May 8, 2016
Quick, enjoyable read.
August 19, 2024
This is a very unique and intriguing primary source idea for a work in church history/Christian marriage. Haykin has compiled a number of letters from well known Christian married couples in the Reformed/Calvinistic theological tradition. Some of the more recent letters are very beautiful and like the kind of love letters we hear and think of today. But some of the earlier letters are as cold as ice and seem so passionless. It’s funny to think it was considered so romantic. Haykin also has an interesting introduction to the book on the low patristic perspectives on sex and romance in marriage. However, I think Haykin overstates things when he describes the Reformation/Puritan period as a “recovery of biblical marriage.” Many patristic figures such as Origen may have had low views of sex, but none of the sound or orthodox fathers would have forbade or condemned marriage, and Origen even defended marriage against false teaches that forbade it. This is an interesting and, I think, unfounded claim from Haykin. It’s especially surprising considering his work in patristic studies. Still, one sees in the selected letters models and examples of godly, loving, and romantic marriages between famous theologians and their wives. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in primary sources in church history or Christian perspectives on marriage.
June 7, 2023
This is a book every man should read. While we don't write letters as a main form of communication, the glimpse into the marriage of these Reformers and Puritan men to how they revered and cherished their wives by way of the goose feather and folio is something to beholden to in this day and age where secularism has destroyed dating, courting, and the covenant of marriage (in their respected concepts only). In spirit and for the true Christian these things need to be taken back. It's not weak to love a Godly woman and show it to her and everyone in ear shot. It's a lost art of manhood and it needs to be rediscovered and put into practice. Every man needs to be in touch with their feminine side (so long as this feminine side is sentient and has a name lol). This book shows we can turn the world upside down and set the set the societal norms of sin ablaze with the word of God as men like Luther and Calvin, while still being intimate, romantic, and best friends with your wife. I loved it. Do both, drag knuckles and grunt in the woods while also being a kind and loving husband to the woman you are blessed to lead.
November 23, 2017
This is a great little book containing letters between various Christian leaders and their spouses. I am thankful for it knowing that otherwise I would almost certainly have never read these letters or seen this side of these men. At 100 pages, it is a very quick read and I found myself wanting to read more letters from each person.
I highly recommend it.
I highly recommend it.
August 3, 2023
This book let us see glimpses of the shared marital love of the men and woman of faith through letters.
The letters are inspiring and romantic.
And to highlight, I really love the introduction written by the author. It focuses on the varying perspective of marriage by men as well as the rediscovery of the real meaning of marriage.
The letters are inspiring and romantic.
And to highlight, I really love the introduction written by the author. It focuses on the varying perspective of marriage by men as well as the rediscovery of the real meaning of marriage.
August 15, 2017
Rich
Rich examples of love in Christian couples as expressed in various letters. I suspect we have lost the ability to express ourselves this way. For Christians examples of how to ground love to each other in the Lord.
Rich examples of love in Christian couples as expressed in various letters. I suspect we have lost the ability to express ourselves this way. For Christians examples of how to ground love to each other in the Lord.
July 25, 2022
Good stuff. I loved eves-dropping on reformer and Puritan love letters to better grasp their view of marriage. Edifying to see their first love above their own.
June 30, 2023
A beautiful collection of letters, contrary to the relational superficiality in society.
December 31, 2023
An excellent read for those who are married or aspiring to marriage
July 13, 2024
This book is a short read, but full of encouragement as you read love letters from Christians from over centuries ago! The purest love written in the sweetest, most genuine words.
July 22, 2011
This is a great tour of some of the letters that various well-known Christian couples have written to each other.
The letters are intimate, warm, and also sometimes very casual and ordinary. They are well chosen and give a good view of this throughout church history and in different places and circumstances.
The book is not long, and yet it has some serious "weight" to it, there is a lot to be gleaned from these letters. I highly recommended it to anyone who is or will be involved in a Christian marriage.
The letters are intimate, warm, and also sometimes very casual and ordinary. They are well chosen and give a good view of this throughout church history and in different places and circumstances.
The book is not long, and yet it has some serious "weight" to it, there is a lot to be gleaned from these letters. I highly recommended it to anyone who is or will be involved in a Christian marriage.
August 29, 2010
This was a good introduction to the personal lives of some historic Christians I didn't really know (as well as some I did). The only down side was feeling like some of the selections were just enough to tease me. The best part, besides making some new "friends" I hope to meet Someday, was being challenged in my own thinking about the marriage relationship.
February 23, 2009
So far it is a wonderful book!
April 5, 2010
'My wife and I read this together. We enjoyed the selection of letters, especially the last ones from Count Moltke, although sone were a bit of a chore to get through.
November 4, 2011
I enjoyed this short book, even if some of the letters were obtuse to me. A good read for those interested in the private thoughts of some prominent believers of the last two centuries.
February 25, 2013
Beautiful.
February 12, 2016
kindle edition is free Feb 12, 2016
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http://amzn.to/1QcalQ4
March 3, 2016
This short book serves its purpose in showing us the deep love these couples had for one another throughout Christian history.
July 4, 2016
Overall, a short and inspiring read, although some of the letter selections seemed a bit odd, making something of a mixed bag.
February 10, 2022
A short compilation of letters written by well known Protestants throughout history to their spouses with their backstories.
April 27, 2017
Good book to read together! Quite a variety of love letters.
February 1, 2018
It was an overall nice book. But, OMG THE LAST TWO LETTERS!!!!!!!!!! NO words!!!! The last chapter made it all worth it.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews