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The Invisible Exhibitionist
Artist and author emje mccarty spent two years digging introspectively into her heart and mind, inking a self-portrait each day within her intimate private journals. With the clarity of hindsight and personal growth, she shares her feelings, observations, anxieties, depressions, passions, anger, angst, and sorrows through poetry as well as vibrant emotionally-stirring inkings.
305 pages, Paperback
Published May 1, 2022
3 people want to read
About the author
Emje McCarty
11 books10 followersemje is a graphic novelist & zine maker; a wild witch; an anarchist; she is an androgynous, punk rock, unschooling forest gardener.
she is currently working on her second novel & putting out a zine called twat.
she is currently working on her second novel & putting out a zine called twat.
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
December 2, 2024
“why should you have it
any better
than i did?”
my mother said to me
& i catch myself
saying to
me
over & over
why should you be happy
why should you find love
why should you
ever
ever
ever
-from pg. 252
Most of the pieces in this stunning collection don’t wear titles, only dates. And most read more like lingering or recurring thoughts for a young mother still admittedly struggling with her own deep-rooted doubts and self-loathing. The thoughts are a spectrum of emotional fireworks from sullen to soaring. The artwork is so connected to the inner child, ultra-personal and really just gorgeous. There are plenty of cringey rants here and there, proving the author is not afraid to display her shadow side in the name of her art. There is way more beauty to balance it all out. I love this book. A deeply-layered reflective journey of pain and wonder; of blame and accountability, acceptance and gratitude. Emje also explores toxic relationship patterns. “to avoid having needs met / i seek out / impossible men” -from pg. 224 and “i’d suggest an exorcism… but i kinda dig your demon”.
My favorite is the piece dated 2-10-2019 and the artwork with it is so lovely:
my soul is a beacon
right now
i can hear her song
as she calls out
across the universe
i can feel her light
as she shines it
in every dark corner
my soul searches
for a connection
deeper than
i can even
imagine
a connection
older than the stars
-from pg. 248
any better
than i did?”
my mother said to me
& i catch myself
saying to
me
over & over
why should you be happy
why should you find love
why should you
ever
ever
ever
-from pg. 252
Most of the pieces in this stunning collection don’t wear titles, only dates. And most read more like lingering or recurring thoughts for a young mother still admittedly struggling with her own deep-rooted doubts and self-loathing. The thoughts are a spectrum of emotional fireworks from sullen to soaring. The artwork is so connected to the inner child, ultra-personal and really just gorgeous. There are plenty of cringey rants here and there, proving the author is not afraid to display her shadow side in the name of her art. There is way more beauty to balance it all out. I love this book. A deeply-layered reflective journey of pain and wonder; of blame and accountability, acceptance and gratitude. Emje also explores toxic relationship patterns. “to avoid having needs met / i seek out / impossible men” -from pg. 224 and “i’d suggest an exorcism… but i kinda dig your demon”.
My favorite is the piece dated 2-10-2019 and the artwork with it is so lovely:
my soul is a beacon
right now
i can hear her song
as she calls out
across the universe
i can feel her light
as she shines it
in every dark corner
my soul searches
for a connection
deeper than
i can even
imagine
a connection
older than the stars
-from pg. 248
May 3, 2022
Picking up emje's third book seemed daunting at first. 300 pages of gorgeous vibrant emotional journal inkings of self-portraits in addition to her dark, sometimes humorous, poetry. The book is incredible. The pages are thick and colorful. I found myself flipping back and forth between some of the images and words, trying to soak it all in. This is the type of book you keep picking up and reviewing. The artist-author explains herself at the beginning, that she went on a journey of self-revelation and healing a few years ago, in an attempt at personal growth and to 'exercise her demons' as it were. During the time, she filled her journals with thoughts, poems, and of course, ink drawings of...herself, as she saw herself and as she perceived others saw her.
What was really cool was seeing how she indeed seemed to be working through her 'issues'. You can read the changes in her voice as well as watch her art morph and melt and bloom. I'd say, at least from an outsider's perspective, that she accomplished her goals. Wow. And then to create this collection, which I believe must have been quite a task, to pare it down to a mere 300-pages with years of work to go through.
Don't let the price detour you, my friend. This isn't some half-hearted, rapidly tossed together collection. You can see the tears and dirt and healing in every page. It's worth it, believe me, it really is. I'm giving this collection a 4.75/5 stars, with the only detraction for me being the length. I personally might have preferred two 150-page collections over one real big one, but it's really a minor complaint in the overall. I only felt a little overwhelmed when I first held it. Once I dug in... I was hooked and I wonder how I've never thought of doing something so... healing for my own self. emje shows us we can and I love her for it.
What was really cool was seeing how she indeed seemed to be working through her 'issues'. You can read the changes in her voice as well as watch her art morph and melt and bloom. I'd say, at least from an outsider's perspective, that she accomplished her goals. Wow. And then to create this collection, which I believe must have been quite a task, to pare it down to a mere 300-pages with years of work to go through.
Don't let the price detour you, my friend. This isn't some half-hearted, rapidly tossed together collection. You can see the tears and dirt and healing in every page. It's worth it, believe me, it really is. I'm giving this collection a 4.75/5 stars, with the only detraction for me being the length. I personally might have preferred two 150-page collections over one real big one, but it's really a minor complaint in the overall. I only felt a little overwhelmed when I first held it. Once I dug in... I was hooked and I wonder how I've never thought of doing something so... healing for my own self. emje shows us we can and I love her for it.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews