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Self/less
A chance meeting with a first love, oceans away from where it all started, after more than a decade apart.
Seeing Alexis again sends Skylar reeling. Their love always felt like it could have lasted a lifetime. After all, there is nobody quite like Alexis Clarke. At least not for Skylar.
Skylar’s life before Alexis was a vicious routine of survival. Avoiding triggers that could set off her mother’s wrath, searching for the perfection needed to earn her parents’ love, and making new scars to deal with old wounds.
Enter Alexis, a senior in Havenford High, a light keeping all of Skylar’s darkness at bay. A light that was suddenly extinguished.
Until now.
Alexis is back, and the promise of their love can finally be fulfilled. But as Skylar is soon to discover—loving someone may be easy, holding on to a love that can save you is something else altogether.
Seeing Alexis again sends Skylar reeling. Their love always felt like it could have lasted a lifetime. After all, there is nobody quite like Alexis Clarke. At least not for Skylar.
Skylar’s life before Alexis was a vicious routine of survival. Avoiding triggers that could set off her mother’s wrath, searching for the perfection needed to earn her parents’ love, and making new scars to deal with old wounds.
Enter Alexis, a senior in Havenford High, a light keeping all of Skylar’s darkness at bay. A light that was suddenly extinguished.
Until now.
Alexis is back, and the promise of their love can finally be fulfilled. But as Skylar is soon to discover—loving someone may be easy, holding on to a love that can save you is something else altogether.
Kindle Edition
Published May 1, 2022
About the author
Skylar Cheung
1 book5 followersSkylar never thought she would be an author. Her debut novel only came about as a by-product of exploring the relationships that defined her and teasing out the significant (and most entertaining) bits.
Now that she's accidently an author though, she does enjoy writing about human interactions, the search for self and the complexities of love.
Now that she's accidently an author though, she does enjoy writing about human interactions, the search for self and the complexities of love.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
May 17, 2024
Magnificent book which I nearly discarded at half way point, but found the second half so much more real and readable. (I find chapters in different time zones confusing.) Excellent descriptions of the reality of abuse. Assuming autobiographical, so brave and worthy. I Doff my hat to Skylar.
December 7, 2021
An unexpected find! It actually inspired me to write a review! I'm too lazy to write reviews!
From the blurb and cover I thought "ok, this could go either way":
1) Sad teen meets disturbed teen. And I'll be in the land of half emotions - half-hating it, half-impressed, half-lost (just like I was for The Art of Blending in or Normal People ).
2) actually a slightly deeper but still fun, cute lesbian YA romance.
I could have accepted both options as interesting, but this turned out so much better than either. I'm no good at describing (hence not an author...), but as best as I can - while this first seemed like your typical YA novel, you actually see the characters develop from YA to NA (new adults?) so you actually get to see how their YA shenanigans play out, which is so much more satisfying. It also deals with about the inner turmoil that family inflicts and the feels that just brings (along with the feels again when healing those wounds). Then of course there is the L-word type of interactions (and love scenes...) which take place between the bunch of friends that is always super fun (and makes you wonder why your friends aren't more like that).
It would have been easy to love the book already because it had all the ingredients of an #ownvoices book - the Asian angle, being gay, the cutting - but it never once relies on these to keep you reading.
I kept reading because it was a good story, the dialogue was fun and insightful at the same time. Flipping through my kindle, I had some highlights like this conversation between the MC and her mother:
“Don’t be silly. Of course not. Why should we help Auntie Eve’s children perform better at their studies? No, we’re not sending her any.” There is a pause. “Not unless our other relatives are. Then we must. Can’t be seen to be stingy or worse, poor.” To my chagrin, she turns her attention back to me. “I saw your email about your grades for your second year.”
“Uh-huh.”
“None of them looks like A’s.”
“Yeah, well, the grading system in the UK is different from ours.”
“But do any of them equal the A grade?”
“No…more like disgustingly high Bs, which are still good, right?” I ask, but I know they aren’t good enough for her.
“Where’s the slip?”
I scrunch my eyebrows together. “Like the actual slip? Hard copy?”
“Yes.”
“In London…?”
“Why didn’t you bring it home?” “Why would I bring it home?” “So I can see it.”
“Why?”
“To make sure you’re not lying about your grades.”
It made me chuckle, and the characters are intriguing to the point where even the tiger mom wasn't just your typical tiger mom (it felt very much like the char could have been based on a real person). It would be lovely if that char could actually be further explored in another book.
I would recommend this not because it appeals to a certain category, but just because it's a good book and it succeeded at being deep and yet fun. Also I was just surprised that this was an independent author and I feel like indies who can deliver the same content deserve more praise and support!
From the blurb and cover I thought "ok, this could go either way":
1) Sad teen meets disturbed teen. And I'll be in the land of half emotions - half-hating it, half-impressed, half-lost (just like I was for The Art of Blending in or Normal People ).
2) actually a slightly deeper but still fun, cute lesbian YA romance.
I could have accepted both options as interesting, but this turned out so much better than either. I'm no good at describing (hence not an author...), but as best as I can - while this first seemed like your typical YA novel, you actually see the characters develop from YA to NA (new adults?) so you actually get to see how their YA shenanigans play out, which is so much more satisfying. It also deals with about the inner turmoil that family inflicts and the feels that just brings (along with the feels again when healing those wounds). Then of course there is the L-word type of interactions (and love scenes...) which take place between the bunch of friends that is always super fun (and makes you wonder why your friends aren't more like that).
It would have been easy to love the book already because it had all the ingredients of an #ownvoices book - the Asian angle, being gay, the cutting - but it never once relies on these to keep you reading.
I kept reading because it was a good story, the dialogue was fun and insightful at the same time. Flipping through my kindle, I had some highlights like this conversation between the MC and her mother:
“Don’t be silly. Of course not. Why should we help Auntie Eve’s children perform better at their studies? No, we’re not sending her any.” There is a pause. “Not unless our other relatives are. Then we must. Can’t be seen to be stingy or worse, poor.” To my chagrin, she turns her attention back to me. “I saw your email about your grades for your second year.”
“Uh-huh.”
“None of them looks like A’s.”
“Yeah, well, the grading system in the UK is different from ours.”
“But do any of them equal the A grade?”
“No…more like disgustingly high Bs, which are still good, right?” I ask, but I know they aren’t good enough for her.
“Where’s the slip?”
I scrunch my eyebrows together. “Like the actual slip? Hard copy?”
“Yes.”
“In London…?”
“Why didn’t you bring it home?” “Why would I bring it home?” “So I can see it.”
“Why?”
“To make sure you’re not lying about your grades.”
It made me chuckle, and the characters are intriguing to the point where even the tiger mom wasn't just your typical tiger mom (it felt very much like the char could have been based on a real person). It would be lovely if that char could actually be further explored in another book.
I would recommend this not because it appeals to a certain category, but just because it's a good book and it succeeded at being deep and yet fun. Also I was just surprised that this was an independent author and I feel like indies who can deliver the same content deserve more praise and support!
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April 12, 2022Trigger warning: Family abuse and self-harm.
"Self/less" is a story about a girl who grew up in a strict Asian family where her sexuality, or anything about her really, was never accepted. With a mother who put her through extreme abuse for who she was, she turned to the only way she knew how to cope: self-harm.
The story begins with Skylar in university in England, seemingly having left her traumatic childhood life behind and ready to taste new experiences. And we get to know about her high-school and family life in flashbacks.
For me the story reads more like an auto-biography rather than fiction with very palpable characters- especially the mom -whom I have met in real life many time. So I'm assuming at least a big chunk of the book must be inspired by real events, but we'll never know.
There's a romantic aspect to the book as well where the author explores past and current relationships, some toxic, some overall pointless as they generally are in college. And what I loved about that was the contrast it showed between those, what I like to call "unfit loves" and the real and healthy one the character finds. And how our decisions throughout our life regarding these romantic endeavors shape a big part of our life. That's why I really enjoyed the character of Alex, Skylar's teenage love.
While the romantic side of the book was very enjoyable to read, the relationship that stood out the most for me was Skylar's relationship with her family, specifically her relationship with her parents and the love that they refused to give her. While it is a very touchy subject, her parent's abuse, especially the emotional kind, felt very real to me. And Skylar's craving for just a flicker of her parent's love and acceptance broke my heart. It was personal.
At some point in the book Skylar has a talk with her father about him being a better father which really hit home. For me that never worked and instead lead to more heartbreak, but I hope for the sake of a happy ending in the book that it works for Skylar.
To wrap it up I enjoyed (and got angry at) this book. It's not easy to be gay, especially in a strict family such as Skylar's. It takes guts to write about all the feelings that come with it.
"Self/less" is a story about a girl who grew up in a strict Asian family where her sexuality, or anything about her really, was never accepted. With a mother who put her through extreme abuse for who she was, she turned to the only way she knew how to cope: self-harm.
The story begins with Skylar in university in England, seemingly having left her traumatic childhood life behind and ready to taste new experiences. And we get to know about her high-school and family life in flashbacks.
For me the story reads more like an auto-biography rather than fiction with very palpable characters- especially the mom -whom I have met in real life many time. So I'm assuming at least a big chunk of the book must be inspired by real events, but we'll never know.
There's a romantic aspect to the book as well where the author explores past and current relationships, some toxic, some overall pointless as they generally are in college. And what I loved about that was the contrast it showed between those, what I like to call "unfit loves" and the real and healthy one the character finds. And how our decisions throughout our life regarding these romantic endeavors shape a big part of our life. That's why I really enjoyed the character of Alex, Skylar's teenage love.
While the romantic side of the book was very enjoyable to read, the relationship that stood out the most for me was Skylar's relationship with her family, specifically her relationship with her parents and the love that they refused to give her. While it is a very touchy subject, her parent's abuse, especially the emotional kind, felt very real to me. And Skylar's craving for just a flicker of her parent's love and acceptance broke my heart. It was personal.
At some point in the book Skylar has a talk with her father about him being a better father which really hit home. For me that never worked and instead lead to more heartbreak, but I hope for the sake of a happy ending in the book that it works for Skylar.
To wrap it up I enjoyed (and got angry at) this book. It's not easy to be gay, especially in a strict family such as Skylar's. It takes guts to write about all the feelings that come with it.
March 30, 2024
I received this book as a Goodreads Giveaway.
Self/less tells about Skylar Cheung, a young woman attending university in England, leaving her abusive mother and feeble father behind in New York. Flashbacks reveal her experiences of coming out to her parents, the abuse she suffered after, and the extreme measures she took to ease the pain (TW: cutting). They introduce us to her high school crush, Alex, who Skylar puts on a pedestal despite Alex's rather hot-or-cold demeanor. When Skylar is at university, she grows more comfortable with her sexuality and enters into a long-term relationship. Like many at this age, she was quite realistic in knowing this was not her forever girlfriend, and she found herself thinking about others in their friend group as potential partners. Paige, though, is a steadfast friend who seems to understand Skylar better than her own girlfriend. Skipping ahead in part 2, Skylar is a few years older and is successful in her career. No longer with her girlfriend, Skylar remains friends with Paige, though they have had a few sexual encounters that have amounted to very little. A business dinner one night brings Alex back into her life, and Skylar must decide if she wants to pursue a relationship, and possibly heartbreak, with Alex.
I have mixed feelings about this book. The story was realistic and many readers will likely relate to different parts of Skylar's experience, especially if they have an unhappy coming out story. I felt her relationships read as representative of those that occur during that time of one's life. Unfortunately, I never felt a deep connection to any of the characters. I wasn't rooting for any one character, nor was I rooting against any of them (except the parents because they are horrid). I simply didn't feel the emotion for the characters that I was hoping for. That said, I believe there is an audience who will love this book and need this story in their lives. Be aware of the physical and mental abuse from her parents as well as her self-harm, but it is certainly a book that will appeal to readers looking for a lesbian romance and a girl who finds success despite her difficult family life.
Self/less tells about Skylar Cheung, a young woman attending university in England, leaving her abusive mother and feeble father behind in New York. Flashbacks reveal her experiences of coming out to her parents, the abuse she suffered after, and the extreme measures she took to ease the pain (TW: cutting). They introduce us to her high school crush, Alex, who Skylar puts on a pedestal despite Alex's rather hot-or-cold demeanor. When Skylar is at university, she grows more comfortable with her sexuality and enters into a long-term relationship. Like many at this age, she was quite realistic in knowing this was not her forever girlfriend, and she found herself thinking about others in their friend group as potential partners. Paige, though, is a steadfast friend who seems to understand Skylar better than her own girlfriend. Skipping ahead in part 2, Skylar is a few years older and is successful in her career. No longer with her girlfriend, Skylar remains friends with Paige, though they have had a few sexual encounters that have amounted to very little. A business dinner one night brings Alex back into her life, and Skylar must decide if she wants to pursue a relationship, and possibly heartbreak, with Alex.
I have mixed feelings about this book. The story was realistic and many readers will likely relate to different parts of Skylar's experience, especially if they have an unhappy coming out story. I felt her relationships read as representative of those that occur during that time of one's life. Unfortunately, I never felt a deep connection to any of the characters. I wasn't rooting for any one character, nor was I rooting against any of them (except the parents because they are horrid). I simply didn't feel the emotion for the characters that I was hoping for. That said, I believe there is an audience who will love this book and need this story in their lives. Be aware of the physical and mental abuse from her parents as well as her self-harm, but it is certainly a book that will appeal to readers looking for a lesbian romance and a girl who finds success despite her difficult family life.
May 29, 2022
Unexpected reaction to this book. Skylar’s story was so compelling and yet different from other WtW romances. There is recurring thread around self-harm but more importantly there are friends and lovers including Skylar who know how to talk, understand, and grow from these experiences. I so wish I had half that EI. Literally could not put it down and can’t stop thinking about it.
February 23, 2022
Rating round up from 3.5 stars.
I received this book as part of a Goodreads giveaway.
Book Content Warnings:
Major- domestic violence , assault, self harm, homophobia, sexual content, PTSD
Minor- drinking, cheating, divorce, biphobia
I would not recommend this book to people who are currently struggling with self harm and find graphic descriptions triggering, though I would recommend it to people who have recovered from self harm and would like to relate that experience to others.
It took me a little longer than normal to get into this book. I was over halfway done before I really wanted to know what was going to happen in the rest of the book. The prose was more plain than I typically like (I’m normally a fantasy/sci-fi reader, so this is personal preference.) I struggled to feel connected to the characters until Skylar’s journey with self harm resonated with me. It very much mirrored my own experience, and I found my connection to her through that. Overall, I ended up enjoying this book, and I would consider reading other books by the author, though this is not the type of book I would pick up to read again.
I received this book as part of a Goodreads giveaway.
Book Content Warnings:
Major- domestic violence , assault, self harm, homophobia, sexual content, PTSD
Minor- drinking, cheating, divorce, biphobia
I would not recommend this book to people who are currently struggling with self harm and find graphic descriptions triggering, though I would recommend it to people who have recovered from self harm and would like to relate that experience to others.
It took me a little longer than normal to get into this book. I was over halfway done before I really wanted to know what was going to happen in the rest of the book. The prose was more plain than I typically like (I’m normally a fantasy/sci-fi reader, so this is personal preference.) I struggled to feel connected to the characters until Skylar’s journey with self harm resonated with me. It very much mirrored my own experience, and I found my connection to her through that. Overall, I ended up enjoying this book, and I would consider reading other books by the author, though this is not the type of book I would pick up to read again.
February 18, 2022
Won this book as a Goodreads giveaway so here is the unfiltered rating.
Self/less was phenomenal! A solid four stars⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Self/less was able to talk about topics like LGBT+ issues, self harm, childhood trauma, toxic relationships, and many more without making the reader feel overwhelmed. While Skylar was figuring things out, and coping as best she could, it felt like you were walking that journey alongside her and growing with her too.
Would have gave it 5 stars but I personally am not a fan of first person POV stories, and while I think it was necessary since it was related to Skylar’s growth, I just couldn’t get past it. Overall, a great read!
Self/less was phenomenal! A solid four stars⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Self/less was able to talk about topics like LGBT+ issues, self harm, childhood trauma, toxic relationships, and many more without making the reader feel overwhelmed. While Skylar was figuring things out, and coping as best she could, it felt like you were walking that journey alongside her and growing with her too.
Would have gave it 5 stars but I personally am not a fan of first person POV stories, and while I think it was necessary since it was related to Skylar’s growth, I just couldn’t get past it. Overall, a great read!
September 1, 2023
Interesting character drama
This is a fine addition to lesbian non-fiction. It deals with real world issues, including mental health issues, abusive relationships, and codependency. I gave this four stars, because I was expecting a romance novel. Instead, I would describe this novel as a character drama, that involves a thread of romance. it was focused on the main characters growth and development over time. This also happened to include the development of the main characters romantic relationships and the changes in how the character perceives and relates to these relationships.
This is a fine addition to lesbian non-fiction. It deals with real world issues, including mental health issues, abusive relationships, and codependency. I gave this four stars, because I was expecting a romance novel. Instead, I would describe this novel as a character drama, that involves a thread of romance. it was focused on the main characters growth and development over time. This also happened to include the development of the main characters romantic relationships and the changes in how the character perceives and relates to these relationships.
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November 21, 2023Unexpected depths
Wasn't going where I thought it was going, and so much better for it. Self/less is so much more than a romance, yet is one of the best ones I ever read, one that I'm sure will stay with me.
Wasn't going where I thought it was going, and so much better for it. Self/less is so much more than a romance, yet is one of the best ones I ever read, one that I'm sure will stay with me.
December 14, 2022
Good read
This was a good book. I will be buying more from Skylar Cheung in the future. You won’t be disappointed reading this book. So always great to see a character rally.
This was a good book. I will be buying more from Skylar Cheung in the future. You won’t be disappointed reading this book. So always great to see a character rally.
April 1, 2022
I received this book as part of a Goodreads giveaway.
I really enjoyed this book more than I expected, to be completely honest. It is so raw and vulnerable, it sucked me in and I could not put it down. I felt pulled into the characters' turmoil and their love, the depths of their longing and desperation. It was at times painful, at times beautiful, but ultimately so brutally honest.
CW: physical abuse, emotional abuse, self harm, homophobia
I really enjoyed this book more than I expected, to be completely honest. It is so raw and vulnerable, it sucked me in and I could not put it down. I felt pulled into the characters' turmoil and their love, the depths of their longing and desperation. It was at times painful, at times beautiful, but ultimately so brutally honest.
CW: physical abuse, emotional abuse, self harm, homophobia
September 29, 2024
4.5. Trigger warnings: parental abuse, self harm, violence, first love, homophobia, internal homophobia, biphobia.
First of all - who is Skylar Cheung??? And are you okay? Whether you wrote this from experience or research, I’m genuinely concerned.
Also, regardless of it being a good book and it might be healing, do not read if it can trigger any of the warnings above. I was conflicted to read this, knowing that it will be triggering for me. I’m glad that I read it, but it’s not a book that I could read more than once because of how it imprinted on me and how vivid the traumas are.
Writing style wise, I actually don’t mind the jumping around. It still has an order to it, and although I might hate it in other books, it works out well for this specific book. Skylar’s relationships with others still make sense, even if there’s a huge chunk of time gap.
The characters are complex, even the side and background characters. There are characters who just disappeared after playing their roles, but it makes sense because it’s not a plot hole and because Skylar is telling the story, we only know what she knows and deems important. I didn’t get distracted by “where’s A? What happened to B?” I was totally focus on Skylar alone. By the end of the book, after being so invested in Skylar’s life, I was so proud of her for finding herself, being true to herself, and only those who matter were mentioned.
The ending left me fulfilled. I might have shred a few tears throughout the book though. And overall it’s a decent book and a good debut.
First of all - who is Skylar Cheung??? And are you okay? Whether you wrote this from experience or research, I’m genuinely concerned.
Also, regardless of it being a good book and it might be healing, do not read if it can trigger any of the warnings above. I was conflicted to read this, knowing that it will be triggering for me. I’m glad that I read it, but it’s not a book that I could read more than once because of how it imprinted on me and how vivid the traumas are.
Writing style wise, I actually don’t mind the jumping around. It still has an order to it, and although I might hate it in other books, it works out well for this specific book. Skylar’s relationships with others still make sense, even if there’s a huge chunk of time gap.
The characters are complex, even the side and background characters. There are characters who just disappeared after playing their roles, but it makes sense because it’s not a plot hole and because Skylar is telling the story, we only know what she knows and deems important. I didn’t get distracted by “where’s A? What happened to B?” I was totally focus on Skylar alone. By the end of the book, after being so invested in Skylar’s life, I was so proud of her for finding herself, being true to herself, and only those who matter were mentioned.
The ending left me fulfilled. I might have shred a few tears throughout the book though. And overall it’s a decent book and a good debut.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews