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You've Changed: Fake Accents, Feminism, and Other Comedies from Myanmar
In this electric debut essay collection, a Myanmar millennial playfully challenges us to examine the knots and complications of immigration status, eating habits, Western feminism in an Asian home, and more, guiding us toward an expansive idea of what it means to be a Myanmar woman todayWhat does it mean to be a Myanmar person—a baker, swimmer, writer and woman—on your own terms rather than those of the colonizer? These irreverent yet vulnerable essays ask that question by tracing the journey of a woman who spent her young adulthood in the US and UK before returning to her hometown of Yangon, where she still lives. In You’ve Changed, Pyae takes on romantic relationships whose futures are determined by different passports, switching accents in American taxis, the patriarchal Myanmar concept of hpone which governs how laundry is done, swimming as refuge from mental illness, pleasure and shame around eating rice, and baking in a kitchen far from white America’s imagination. Throughout, she wrestles with the question of who she is—a Myanmar woman in the West, a Western-educated person in Yangon, a writer who refuses to be labeled a “race writer.” With intimate and funny prose, Pyae shows how the truth of identity may be found not in stability, but in its gloriously unsettled nature.
224 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 3, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews
July 25, 2022
It is interesting, but not surprising, that the very good reviews this book is receiving are mostly from readers who have little to no knowledge of Myanmar. It is difficult to even know where to begin with this monstrosity.
Do you point out how many errors there are about basic Myanmar facts? (To bring up just one of the very many that the editors seemed to have glossed over: "Rangoon" is not pronounced with an "r" because the British chose to change the name, but because it was initially inhabited by Rakhine, an ethnic minority who speak differently than the author's ruling Bamar ancestors. This is also another indication of the Bamar-centric mindset of the book and how it ignores the many ethnic minorities who live in Myanmar)
Do you point out how the author seamlessly hides her immense privilege while highlighting her own victimization? From casually mentioning beachside villas to homes near Oxford, a world is being described that is so far from anyone but the highest echelons of the Burmese elite.
Do you point out how offensive the pro-military tone is? While there are many examples to choose from, no line is as egregious (and inaccurate) as her attempts to describe why the country changed its name from Burma to Myanmar: "a new military government who wanted to proclaim their control on this newly liberated country." Fact: the name change happened in 1989, more than 4 decades after Burma gained its independence. Fact: the military government was not "new" and was not even a recognized "government," but was from an illegal seizure power in 1962 which imprisoned (and killed) elected leaders. Fact: the name change did in fact happen because the military wanted to "proclaim their control," but this was a control over its own people who were calling for human rights and democracy. The name change happened following a brutal round of torture, imprisonment, and murder of literally thousands of Burmese! This brazen and shameless attempt to rewrite history through legitimizing a military which routinely commits crimes against humanity is just appalling.
In some ways, the author's continual need to blame the US and UK for all of Myanmar's problems, while giving the Tatmadaw a free pass, is sadly consistent with the military propaganda of the last few decades, as seen from its propaganda organ, "The New Light of Myanmar." In this retelling, the military is a force for good, and the only entity possible which can prevent the country from drifting into chaos. In this version, blame can be laid at the hands of the meddling British and American, the clever scapegoat to the decades of exploitation, corruption, land grabs, and genocide overseen by the organization her father works for. One wonders if this was a message being espoused in her household, as we know that military families and cronies often live within their own bubble.
Myanmar is a country more than deserving of the world's attention and engagement. But this is the last book one should turn to in looking to understand it, as the author's experiences, privilege, and opinions are so far removed from those now risking their lives to seek a more equitable future. To my knowledge, the author has not said a word in support for the current democracy movement (while also not condemning a military accused of atrocities and crimes against humanity). There are many other books and online resources which offer a glimpse into the country and a voice of the people. This one just slaps them in the face.
Do you point out how many errors there are about basic Myanmar facts? (To bring up just one of the very many that the editors seemed to have glossed over: "Rangoon" is not pronounced with an "r" because the British chose to change the name, but because it was initially inhabited by Rakhine, an ethnic minority who speak differently than the author's ruling Bamar ancestors. This is also another indication of the Bamar-centric mindset of the book and how it ignores the many ethnic minorities who live in Myanmar)
Do you point out how the author seamlessly hides her immense privilege while highlighting her own victimization? From casually mentioning beachside villas to homes near Oxford, a world is being described that is so far from anyone but the highest echelons of the Burmese elite.
Do you point out how offensive the pro-military tone is? While there are many examples to choose from, no line is as egregious (and inaccurate) as her attempts to describe why the country changed its name from Burma to Myanmar: "a new military government who wanted to proclaim their control on this newly liberated country." Fact: the name change happened in 1989, more than 4 decades after Burma gained its independence. Fact: the military government was not "new" and was not even a recognized "government," but was from an illegal seizure power in 1962 which imprisoned (and killed) elected leaders. Fact: the name change did in fact happen because the military wanted to "proclaim their control," but this was a control over its own people who were calling for human rights and democracy. The name change happened following a brutal round of torture, imprisonment, and murder of literally thousands of Burmese! This brazen and shameless attempt to rewrite history through legitimizing a military which routinely commits crimes against humanity is just appalling.
In some ways, the author's continual need to blame the US and UK for all of Myanmar's problems, while giving the Tatmadaw a free pass, is sadly consistent with the military propaganda of the last few decades, as seen from its propaganda organ, "The New Light of Myanmar." In this retelling, the military is a force for good, and the only entity possible which can prevent the country from drifting into chaos. In this version, blame can be laid at the hands of the meddling British and American, the clever scapegoat to the decades of exploitation, corruption, land grabs, and genocide overseen by the organization her father works for. One wonders if this was a message being espoused in her household, as we know that military families and cronies often live within their own bubble.
Myanmar is a country more than deserving of the world's attention and engagement. But this is the last book one should turn to in looking to understand it, as the author's experiences, privilege, and opinions are so far removed from those now risking their lives to seek a more equitable future. To my knowledge, the author has not said a word in support for the current democracy movement (while also not condemning a military accused of atrocities and crimes against humanity). There are many other books and online resources which offer a glimpse into the country and a voice of the people. This one just slaps them in the face.
July 31, 2022
Ah yes, a military cronie's daughter from the most priviledged class of Myanmar feels marginalized when she moves to another country since her nation is a shithole thanks to her family and those on the top of the oppressor hierarchy. What a joke.
July 31, 2022
As a Burmese citizen herself, I'm telling you this is full of shit. And before you decide to read this, I kindly request that you go look up "What's happening in Myanmar" on Google or Twitter so that you will know this is nothing but a privileged cronie's daughter victimising herself and selling loads of crap. And lemme tell you this. Burning the whole village down? Raping? Arresting educated people and students so that they can't raise their voice? Killing innocent citizens including CHILDREN and pregnant women? Burning people ALIVE? Torturing the arrested students? Anything, you name it. The Military Junta, like her father is doing those things so that they can remain as the privileged few people in Myanmar while the whole country is suffering. And here she is, with all the privileges, stealing the voices of our people, selling herself as a victim of this situation. This is disgusting.
July 30, 2022
Author is from a military family, went to private schools, spent vacations on the beach, and the whole book is about she is a victim. She is hiding their privilege and claiming victimization, and stealing the voice of those in the country in the process.
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July 31, 2022Those who are saying good things about this book, it’s time to stay woke. She literally has a privileged military background and talking about how she has to struggle in this book? Try again, sweety. This military regime that she sugarcoat about is literally killing innocent citizen, burning villages, committing genocide, and many other monstrosity right here, right now, since forever in Myanmar.
If you wanna know or learn about Myanmar, this is definitely not the book for it.
Those few Myanmar citizen that are saying good things about this book, I’m watching y’all. How can y’all be so obnoxious? Y’all delusional or something?
I’m out
If you wanna know or learn about Myanmar, this is definitely not the book for it.
Those few Myanmar citizen that are saying good things about this book, I’m watching y’all. How can y’all be so obnoxious? Y’all delusional or something?
I’m out
Read
May 26, 2022Could not finish. The author describing her father's service to the Myanmar military regime in neutral if not positive terms did me in. Maybe when that same regime is no longer burning people alive and cutting them into pieces, I'll be able to finish the book. I don't know what the editors were thinking. 😔
January 2, 2024
I’m unbelievably disgusted by how this Burmese author victimized herself about living in Burma where in reality her ancestors are the ones who put us in these situations. Her father is one of the terrorist military junta and she represents nothing about Burma. She should be ashamed that she’s making money off of this. And to foreign people who know nothing about Burma, pls do research first before you agree with the terrorist’s crony daughter.
July 31, 2022
Some reviewers really need to get their heads out of their asses. The author is a privileged woman whose family has a military background. She was so privileged to have attended private schools and even went to another country. Readers, do you know what having a military background means in Myanmar? It means if they're in a state school, they get the best class (A) out of all classes even if they don't excel at education. But they do, of course, because state school exam questions are composed by teachers who gives them tuitions. They get away with everything they do, including bullying. They get into private schools and go to private universities or go abroad with so many degrees while their ancestors burn down our country. They'll leave without a scratch no matter what they do. That kind of privilege is not a fucking joke. And what does the author do? Not address it. She doesn't even talk about her background in a negative light.
Author with a military background self-victimizing while her actual fucking mother country burns due to her family's actions? Fuck right off. Stop praising this book. It's insulting to people getting killed and oppressed here. They have blood on their fucking hands.
Author with a military background self-victimizing while her actual fucking mother country burns due to her family's actions? Fuck right off. Stop praising this book. It's insulting to people getting killed and oppressed here. They have blood on their fucking hands.
July 31, 2022
It is so sarcastic that the author is playing as a victim even she comes from the most privileged elite family. Her father is one of the culprits for mass killings in Myanmar. She enjoys the rights and advantages what her father robbed people from Myanmar. She is talking about ‘feminism’ while Myanmar women are raped, oppressed,and killed by military junta due to her and her father’s supporting.
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August 5, 2022Usually in a collection, I tend to prefer one essay over another, however in YOU'VE CHANGED I enjoyed all of them.
Reading this book felt like chatting with a friend about Myanmar culture and some current issues - it was the most natural and fluid exchange of thoughts, which War unapologetically peels her identity.
War begins by showing how often our (Asian, in her case, Myanmar) cultural heritage is swallowed by Western standards - the fact that we sometimes repress our Asianness in order to better assimilate into Western culture, or the fact that Westernization is supposed to be the best choice. In "A baking essay I need to write", she made me want to have baking lessons with her. In "Unique selling point", she discusses her Asianness and I kept nodding about this: that just because she is Myanmar, it doesn't mean that she has to write about Myanmar, Asia or race. We are much more than that. So don't label us in boxes.
In "Htamin sar chin tae", the focus on rice made me feel at home. Similar to Myanmar people, rice for us (Chinese/Taiwanese) is beyond food, it represents an identity, an unspoken connection to our heritage. We love and need rice like water or air.
In "Tongue twisters", there are soft and hard pronunciations in Myanmar language, like in Mandarin, distinctions that don't exist in the English language. I appreciated navigating through the language and the deep talk about accents. To favor the European accent and the internalized racism that discriminate people without equal opportunities.
Like War, growing up in a bilingual family and raising one, some of her experiences resonated with me such as mixing two languages into one and the attempt to be fluent in our native language (or our parents' language). I felt seen. This last essay and "Tongue twisters" were my favorites.
This is a collection full of sparks of joy infused with real struggles. YOU'VE CHANGED is a utterly intimate collection of essays that I found thought-provoking with a few hilarious moments. An interesting debut.
[ I received a complimentary copy from the publisher - Catapult - in exchange for an honest review ]
Reading this book felt like chatting with a friend about Myanmar culture and some current issues - it was the most natural and fluid exchange of thoughts, which War unapologetically peels her identity.
War begins by showing how often our (Asian, in her case, Myanmar) cultural heritage is swallowed by Western standards - the fact that we sometimes repress our Asianness in order to better assimilate into Western culture, or the fact that Westernization is supposed to be the best choice. In "A baking essay I need to write", she made me want to have baking lessons with her. In "Unique selling point", she discusses her Asianness and I kept nodding about this: that just because she is Myanmar, it doesn't mean that she has to write about Myanmar, Asia or race. We are much more than that. So don't label us in boxes.
In "Htamin sar chin tae", the focus on rice made me feel at home. Similar to Myanmar people, rice for us (Chinese/Taiwanese) is beyond food, it represents an identity, an unspoken connection to our heritage. We love and need rice like water or air.
In "Tongue twisters", there are soft and hard pronunciations in Myanmar language, like in Mandarin, distinctions that don't exist in the English language. I appreciated navigating through the language and the deep talk about accents. To favor the European accent and the internalized racism that discriminate people without equal opportunities.
Like War, growing up in a bilingual family and raising one, some of her experiences resonated with me such as mixing two languages into one and the attempt to be fluent in our native language (or our parents' language). I felt seen. This last essay and "Tongue twisters" were my favorites.
This is a collection full of sparks of joy infused with real struggles. YOU'VE CHANGED is a utterly intimate collection of essays that I found thought-provoking with a few hilarious moments. An interesting debut.
[ I received a complimentary copy from the publisher - Catapult - in exchange for an honest review ]
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February 27, 2022Although I've read a lot of memoirs that dissect the Asian-American identity, I found Pyae Moe Thet War's unique in that you could really sense that she is trying to figure it out as she goes. I think a lot of times, it feels like the authors who are writing their stories seem to have themselves figured out before they write about it. In that sense, you can see where they're headed in their memoirs. In Pyae Moe Thet War's case, you could really feel her exploring her identity right on the page as a woman in her mid-twenties. I think there's something special about this as she asks the reader the same questions that she is grappling with. And she doesn't quite have the answer herself. This is a book I wish I had in my mid-twenties, and I think anyone who is also exploring their Asian-American identity might relate and find company in Pyae Moe Thet War's story.
August 1, 2022
I'm sorry that Ma Pyae Moe Thet War (Author) feel this way about Myanmar and It's people.
I still not believe what other said so I bought the books from online and read it. I can only finished 1/3 of the book and I found out that stories and information's are totally made-up.
I also learned the author is not fluent in Burmese. She is now making herself an empowered woman of color in the USA is totally absurd. In addition, she write about how things like white people not pronouncing their name correctly is as traumatizing as the terror happening in Burma now. It's really sick to me.
This is my message for author -
"Please don't be double standard prick. Have a pride. Don't be shallow. If you take side with military, just go with it. We just don't care. You ignore your privilege that was given by a family that destroyed people's lives, and then use that privilege to have access to super luxurious places where she can then complain that she is disadvantaged there."
I still not believe what other said so I bought the books from online and read it. I can only finished 1/3 of the book and I found out that stories and information's are totally made-up.
I also learned the author is not fluent in Burmese. She is now making herself an empowered woman of color in the USA is totally absurd. In addition, she write about how things like white people not pronouncing their name correctly is as traumatizing as the terror happening in Burma now. It's really sick to me.
This is my message for author -
"Please don't be double standard prick. Have a pride. Don't be shallow. If you take side with military, just go with it. We just don't care. You ignore your privilege that was given by a family that destroyed people's lives, and then use that privilege to have access to super luxurious places where she can then complain that she is disadvantaged there."
July 31, 2022
It’s hilarious when super-rich oligarchs with military ties choose to ignore their privileges. You got the best education in Myanmar with your dad’s influence as a military officer. Your whole life was built on the tears and blood of ordinary people. Yet, you claim to be marginalized?
FYI, she comes from a elite class and own first class property near the university campus according to what she wrote. Her way of putting things reminds me of a quote by Slavoj Zizek.
"Post colonialism is the invention of rich Indian guys who wanted to make a good career in the west by playing on the guilt of white liberals."
FYI, she comes from a elite class and own first class property near the university campus according to what she wrote. Her way of putting things reminds me of a quote by Slavoj Zizek.
"Post colonialism is the invention of rich Indian guys who wanted to make a good career in the west by playing on the guilt of white liberals."
August 2, 2022
The author, who was born in and lives in the 51st poorest country in the world, has written a significant part of her book about how proud she is to own a KitchenAid mixer. A KitchenAid mixer costs around $1,000.
This should tell you all you need to know about how representative this book is of the average Burmese person. The author comes from money raised from her father's military human rights abuses, and is proud to show it off. Disgusting.
This should tell you all you need to know about how representative this book is of the average Burmese person. The author comes from money raised from her father's military human rights abuses, and is proud to show it off. Disgusting.
August 4, 2022
I am very sad that an American publisher, Catapult, has chosen to amplify the voice of someone associated with the Tatmadaw, the Burmese military. I have no idea what they could be thinking or if they might be benefiting financially from this relationship. Books like these really harm those in Myanmar now struggling for their human rights while trying to promote gender equality and bring back democracy. This book needs to be boycotted.
July 31, 2022
The only mind blowing thing here is the author’s audacity to assume the marginalized identity when the association she’s sympathizing with, Tatmadaw (Myanmar military) is butchering thousands of civilians everyday, has butchered and raped innocents for decades and hanging democracy activists here in Myanmar. Reviewers should consider the context and who they’re supporting before giving ANY stars.
August 8, 2022
When I cataloged this and skimmed it for subject matter, I was intrigued. I read a lot of this type of book - personal anecdotes/biographical essays - but never by anyone from Myanmar.
At first, it reminded me a little of Americanah, mainly the themes of leaving (and being able to leave) a close-knit homogenous community to go to college in the United States and being a woman who struggles with gender and cultural expectations both home and abroad.
I like Pyae's voice. She comes across like a work friend or a well-known neighbor, a friend whom you don't see all the time but whose company is always happily anticipated.
I enjoyed learning about the power of women's undergarments and the structure of Myanmar names and "nicknames," though it sounds like they're more like everyday names than nicknames. I always love travel tales, learning about people's reactions to new places and picking up new habits/hobbies/lingo. I was dying over her hipster take on baking, a kind of "I liked it before it was popular," and how it was fun for her to have friends who suddenly liked baking once they were in quarantine.
After awhile, though, I felt like I was reading a list of explanations of why Pyae is who she is. Which, for her and anyone who was questioning why she is the way she is, that's great. For me, I didn't know why she was defending herself and the things she likes and the beliefs she embraces and the choices she's made. I'm not a therapist, I wasn't asking those questions. I wanted to know more about how she compensated for altitude and humidity when baking cakes in the different places she'd lived. I wanted to know if she kept in touch with friends from the US and the UK when she was in Myanmar and what her relationship with Khin and Poe had been while she was in the US and the UK.
I don't remember if she mentioned her age. I thought she did but, by the end, I was surprised at something she mentioned being alive for which would place her in or near her 30's because, by that time, I had convinced myself she was no older than 25 and was just suffering of lack of life experience. Which is odd because she's traveled the world and has had plenty of life experience.
I would recommend this to people who are feeling a little uncomfortable with who they are and want to see what it looks like to be newly-pleased with one's self, to be settling in to who you're going to be. I would also recommend this to anyone who likes reading chatty, friendly essays by someone who doesn't care if you approve of them.
Note to self:
In one of those weirdly coincidental turn of events, I went looking for interviews with the author and found this one written by the author of the other book of biographical essays I read while reading this one.
At first, it reminded me a little of Americanah, mainly the themes of leaving (and being able to leave) a close-knit homogenous community to go to college in the United States and being a woman who struggles with gender and cultural expectations both home and abroad.
I like Pyae's voice. She comes across like a work friend or a well-known neighbor, a friend whom you don't see all the time but whose company is always happily anticipated.
I enjoyed learning about the power of women's undergarments and the structure of Myanmar names and "nicknames," though it sounds like they're more like everyday names than nicknames. I always love travel tales, learning about people's reactions to new places and picking up new habits/hobbies/lingo. I was dying over her hipster take on baking, a kind of "I liked it before it was popular," and how it was fun for her to have friends who suddenly liked baking once they were in quarantine.
After awhile, though, I felt like I was reading a list of explanations of why Pyae is who she is. Which, for her and anyone who was questioning why she is the way she is, that's great. For me, I didn't know why she was defending herself and the things she likes and the beliefs she embraces and the choices she's made. I'm not a therapist, I wasn't asking those questions. I wanted to know more about how she compensated for altitude and humidity when baking cakes in the different places she'd lived. I wanted to know if she kept in touch with friends from the US and the UK when she was in Myanmar and what her relationship with Khin and Poe had been while she was in the US and the UK.
I don't remember if she mentioned her age. I thought she did but, by the end, I was surprised at something she mentioned being alive for which would place her in or near her 30's because, by that time, I had convinced myself she was no older than 25 and was just suffering of lack of life experience. Which is odd because she's traveled the world and has had plenty of life experience.
I would recommend this to people who are feeling a little uncomfortable with who they are and want to see what it looks like to be newly-pleased with one's self, to be settling in to who you're going to be. I would also recommend this to anyone who likes reading chatty, friendly essays by someone who doesn't care if you approve of them.
Note to self:
In one of those weirdly coincidental turn of events, I went looking for interviews with the author and found this one written by the author of the other book of biographical essays I read while reading this one.
July 4, 2023
As a Burmese-American woman, I was excited to see some form of writing about the nation I love. However, I cannot help but be so turned off by the privilege of the author that she does not acknowledge or even seem to be aware of. It is so off-putting to read about how she believes no one else loves Burma more than her father who is in the very military that is murdering civilians. The notes of privilege are subtle and can only be identified by those who are familiar with Burma; for example, the average Burmese citizen cannot afford a KitchenAid.
In terms of the actual writing, the essays are a bit too casual (overuse of parentheses, which I usually like) and repetitive. I did not appreciate the lack of explanation of certain dynamics and intersections of Burma. Her writing blurs the line between Buddhist and Burmese cultures and the promilitary bias is infuriating. Many essays address tropes that are not unique to Burmese culture and identity, but the general Asian diaspora, such as mispronouncing names. I wish the publisher used this opportunity to elevate a voice that is more unique and shines a light on a nation that needs support more than ever. There are so many more specific and important topics that could have been explored in a Burmese essay collection, yet I was disappointed to not see many of them.
In terms of the actual writing, the essays are a bit too casual (overuse of parentheses, which I usually like) and repetitive. I did not appreciate the lack of explanation of certain dynamics and intersections of Burma. Her writing blurs the line between Buddhist and Burmese cultures and the promilitary bias is infuriating. Many essays address tropes that are not unique to Burmese culture and identity, but the general Asian diaspora, such as mispronouncing names. I wish the publisher used this opportunity to elevate a voice that is more unique and shines a light on a nation that needs support more than ever. There are so many more specific and important topics that could have been explored in a Burmese essay collection, yet I was disappointed to not see many of them.
July 31, 2022
The author described Myanmar Military regime positively, the very same regime that is killing hundreds of people daily. She came from a privileged family, attended private schools with other people’s blood money and she’s victimizing herself in this book. How can catapult publish this book that is based on lies and promoting the genocidal army? Do they even bother to do a background check before publishing her book?
July 31, 2022
This is ridiculous. She is from a pro-military family and she is highly privileged ( the most privilege elite class of Myanmar) compared to other Myanmar people of her age. And she is playing victim and stealing the voices of Myanmar people who are currently going through hell thanks to her dad and the military Junta. Stay woke and try to educate yourselves people! Ugh.
August 2, 2022
As someone who has worked to empower women and girls in Burma, via my non-profit, since 2010, I am absolutely appalled at this book, written by a privileged family member of the Burmese military's junta.
The junta still continues its decades-long horrific humanitarian offenses against its people, while simultaneously stealing the country's assets. This country of 135 ethnicities represents an abundance of amazing women of color. Pyae Moe Thet War is not one of these women.
Having translated I Am Malala into Burmese in 2016 as an inspirational example for young women in Burma, I am especially horrified that You've Changed has been recommended by Malala.
Burma struggles to be understood by the Western world because the junta literally closed off the country for decades. No one knew of Burma and the people did not know of the outside world.
For You've Changed to be viewed as a legitimate representation of Burma and its people is so wrong. The book includes out and out lies and misrepresentation of the country and its people.
The junta still continues its decades-long horrific humanitarian offenses against its people, while simultaneously stealing the country's assets. This country of 135 ethnicities represents an abundance of amazing women of color. Pyae Moe Thet War is not one of these women.
Having translated I Am Malala into Burmese in 2016 as an inspirational example for young women in Burma, I am especially horrified that You've Changed has been recommended by Malala.
Burma struggles to be understood by the Western world because the junta literally closed off the country for decades. No one knew of Burma and the people did not know of the outside world.
For You've Changed to be viewed as a legitimate representation of Burma and its people is so wrong. The book includes out and out lies and misrepresentation of the country and its people.
June 13, 2022
4.5 stars.
This was a terrific collection of essays! The author's prose drew me in immediately as I read her thoughts about being Myanmar, being a woman, being Asian and how that's perceived next to Westernness, long distance relationships, names, and citizenship, among other things.
She has a keen eye for hypocrisy and injustice, while also finding humour in the many inconsistencies and seeming incompatible ideas one has as one makes ones way through the
world as a woman and a non-Western person.
This is an intimate, thoughtful and sometimes humourous book, and I greatly enjoyed it.
Thank you to Netgalley and to Catapult Counterpoint Press for this ARC in exchange for my review.
This was a terrific collection of essays! The author's prose drew me in immediately as I read her thoughts about being Myanmar, being a woman, being Asian and how that's perceived next to Westernness, long distance relationships, names, and citizenship, among other things.
She has a keen eye for hypocrisy and injustice, while also finding humour in the many inconsistencies and seeming incompatible ideas one has as one makes ones way through the
world as a woman and a non-Western person.
This is an intimate, thoughtful and sometimes humourous book, and I greatly enjoyed it.
Thank you to Netgalley and to Catapult Counterpoint Press for this ARC in exchange for my review.
July 31, 2022
As someone who's lineage and family background are from the most privileged elite class of Burma whose sole actions are the reason the country is a failed stat(LDC),
its ironic that you feel marginalized and play victim.
What a Heck!!!
its ironic that you feel marginalized and play victim.
What a Heck!!!
July 31, 2022
Militry cronie’s daughter who got most privileged life thanks to her father’s position as military officer wrote herself as victim. Meanwhile, a lot of citizens are either killed or burnt down their property and house by military.
As Myanmar citizens, I felt insulted to read her book.
As Myanmar citizens, I felt insulted to read her book.
July 31, 2022
Couldn't finish! Author is totally hindering current situations in Myanmar and only victimizing herself when in fact, she came from an affluent family who works for Military Terrorist Junta.
July 31, 2022
I hate junta coz the author is related with military junta.That' s why I gave one star
April 28, 2022
A phenomenal book. I laughed, I cried, I felt seen. Those of us who straddle the boundaries of belonging, navigate shifting identities, and strive for genuine friendships, relationships and community as women, as people of color, as those on the periphery, will find pieces of themselves in this book.
A joy to read and I look forward to more from this incredible author!
A joy to read and I look forward to more from this incredible author!
September 13, 2022
As a Myanmar, I was intrigued to read this book before officially published, mainly because of the synopsis they put out. It is always nice to read a book about your country, your culture and toxic ideologies in your society.
Good things first, I really appreciate the author’s efforts to tell stories from our culture. I enjoy reading about “bhone”, toxic masculinity, son preferences of elder people, diet culture and body/fat shaming in Myanmar society (especially her own experiences and love for rice). I hope many youths open up about traumatic experiences that harmful traditions can give us.
What triggered me most and make me uncomfortable is the editing part. Editing is poorly done. I think it can get a lot better if a person who is close to Myanmar culture did the editing. The writing is a bit raw and repetitive. Many things can be cut out.
And I do not know political views of the author. She talked about her family which includes her father who was in military. This is completely fine since fathers play huge part of our lives, our childhoods. But I am not comfortable with the line where she referred Myanmar as “ the country that my father has spent his whole adult life serving and protecting? ” (Paperwork, You’ve Changed). One thing I would like to clarify here is that this is my personal view as an ethnic woman and a Myanmar citizen. Tatmadaw (the Burmese/Myanmar Military) never protected or served the country of Myanmar and Myanmar citizens. Not in the 70’s, not in 90’s, not now and if we cannot change the whole system which that corrupted institution was built on, it will NEVER protect or serve us.
That’s why I believe editing should have been done very carefully especially when you want to introduce a new topic like this to people who are unfamiliar with the culture. Personally, I would never recommend this to anyone.
Good things first, I really appreciate the author’s efforts to tell stories from our culture. I enjoy reading about “bhone”, toxic masculinity, son preferences of elder people, diet culture and body/fat shaming in Myanmar society (especially her own experiences and love for rice). I hope many youths open up about traumatic experiences that harmful traditions can give us.
What triggered me most and make me uncomfortable is the editing part. Editing is poorly done. I think it can get a lot better if a person who is close to Myanmar culture did the editing. The writing is a bit raw and repetitive. Many things can be cut out.
And I do not know political views of the author. She talked about her family which includes her father who was in military. This is completely fine since fathers play huge part of our lives, our childhoods. But I am not comfortable with the line where she referred Myanmar as “ the country that my father has spent his whole adult life serving and protecting? ” (Paperwork, You’ve Changed). One thing I would like to clarify here is that this is my personal view as an ethnic woman and a Myanmar citizen. Tatmadaw (the Burmese/Myanmar Military) never protected or served the country of Myanmar and Myanmar citizens. Not in the 70’s, not in 90’s, not now and if we cannot change the whole system which that corrupted institution was built on, it will NEVER protect or serve us.
That’s why I believe editing should have been done very carefully especially when you want to introduce a new topic like this to people who are unfamiliar with the culture. Personally, I would never recommend this to anyone.
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March 16, 2024This book was sent to me as a gift from a foreign friend, who knew how much love I had for writing, and for Myanmar. Of course, I was delighted to see that upon looking the author up on Google, this book was such a hit you didn't even have to type in her full name to get to the book. Of course, I was delighted to see my thoughts echoed in a book, by not just a woman, but a Myanmar woman, who undoubtedly came from the same places I did and shared the same experiences I did. However, as a reviewer, I'm here to say this: if you are reading this book for the purpose of understanding feminism and womanhood in a Myanmar context, you've got the wrong book. This is not a feminist book. This is a published diary, and I'm a bit disappointed in how this book was marketed as the former.
This is a long review, because I already know reading anything related to Myanmar is deeply personal to me, as an ethnic minority. I know the author is the daughter of a military crony. Coming from a place of privilege (I too, had an international school education, and I do study abroad), I gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed that her father's views were not her own, and that she is capable of forming her own political views and biases outside of military influence. I find it incredibly disappointing that not one mention of politics, besides her father's place in the army, is in the book. To exist as a woman in Myanmar, especially if you are darker skinned and/or have South-Asian adjacent features, means navigating the slews that come with politics, especially in Myanmar, where Islamophobia and corruption amongst the 'Burmese' (Bama) generals and families in power run amok. But I suppose growing up in a military family means you're able to live your life without politics consuming every aspect of your identity and in that regard, I envy her, truly.
With that being said, what she doesn't talk about and I assume deliberately left out, was the effect of the coup. She makes one reference to it in the whole of the book, a move I found ballsy, considering the other 99% of people in Myanmar regardless of race have to live with the consequences that the military (that her own father is a part of) decided they deserved. As you'll see in other reviews, she praises her father for his service to the country. This was the moment I left the benefit of the doubt — not only does she praise the regime that oppresses and murders people for the sake of it — she victimizes herself in a society built specifically for families like her's to succeed. This author is not a victim. This author is not a victim. This author is absolutely not a fucking victim. When you've sought out an international school education, and a university experience abroad, and a partner that doesn't hold your problematic views accountable, the ignorance of your country's suffering is a choice you choose to make, and she made that choice. She talks about her experiences of foreigners assuming she is not smart due to her skintone and accent, so I know she thinks she is smart, and leads me to believe that the ignorance was intentional, which makes reading this book such an eyesore. I don't know if this author is cognitively impaired or just plain stupid, but I cannot wrap my head around the fact that she chose to write about her experience being Myanmar and *not* write about the history that Myanmar people have to live with and go through.
As for the rest of the book, she talks about her experience assimilating abroad, something any immigrant is familiar with, with more negatives than positives. I found myself relating a lot to having to switch accents and such, cooking more tangible foods rather than time-consuming curries in a university setting, and then as I read on, I picked up on something that made me feel very sorry for her. The pattern in which she discusses whiteness and her space around it is not one of observation, it is of admiration. She openly discusses preferring 'white' foods and cooking methods, and while that's not something to fault anyone for, it is also something embarrassing to observe. I'm sure many immigrants in the West have had a period where they try to assimilate themselves into whiteness before realizing whiteness really isn't all that it's chalked up to be, but here, while she acknowledges her internalized racism, she still perpetuates it — her writing style evidently favors the customs and traditions of the West, and she praises Myanmar in a way that does not come from love, it comes from fetishization. The way in which she writes about Myanmar is so foreign to me, I couldn't believe this was a local. I'm also noting she denounces almost every single tradition (that Thingyan segment made me so sad, especially now so that the military has banned Thingyan celebrations) and a lot of the holidays she writes about are based in Europe. She speaks French and learns French literature, and also outwardly admits in the past, assumed that the Myanmar script was just not meant for Actual Intellectual People TM. I think there's a lot to be taken away from how she depicts whiteness, namely her urge to become it. It is okay to admit you've been whitewashed, we've had our share here and there, and then we overcome it. She's still there though, swearing away, as if this 'progressive' language makes her any better than the history she comes from. Misogyny in Myanmar is very intertwined with the military — the very concept of 'hpone' was one perpetuated by the same military she praises.
I could go on and on, but I'll end with this paragraph, mainly because I have better things to do, like watching paint dry. She discusses Myanmar representation in a foreign space, and while I know how important it is to depict Myanmar accurately, and write to an impossible standard, she's fulfilled her own self prophecy by writing an objectively mediocre book. The writing is nothing to praise and she misconstrues the country and its people through the lens of someone that benefits from the corruption they allow. I believe that with every single book you read, you learn something from it, and in this case, I've learnt that if I take a shit, this book will be a better use of an asswipe than something to even glance at. What poor representation of the country, and also what poor writing. Three creative writing degrees and this was the best you could come up with. Studied at the best places in the world and you present shit on a plate and market it to white people because you know the country you claim to love will call you out on your bullshit.
All in all, this is a book about a Myanmar woman who victimizes herself in a country where everyone else, literally, is oppressed because of her and her ancestors. If you're planning on reading this I promise you you'll have a better time counting the lines in your palms. I realize this is probably the meanest review I've ever written and will ever write, but I have never read such bullshit, and am so disappointed that this is what people are reading in the West as an introduction to womanhood in Myanmar. Ironically, to quote the book, Myanmar people aren't all like this. Please research the military regime and its effect on women and minorities, and even just normal people that aren't military affiliated, and you'll know that this book is shit.
This is a long review, because I already know reading anything related to Myanmar is deeply personal to me, as an ethnic minority. I know the author is the daughter of a military crony. Coming from a place of privilege (I too, had an international school education, and I do study abroad), I gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed that her father's views were not her own, and that she is capable of forming her own political views and biases outside of military influence. I find it incredibly disappointing that not one mention of politics, besides her father's place in the army, is in the book. To exist as a woman in Myanmar, especially if you are darker skinned and/or have South-Asian adjacent features, means navigating the slews that come with politics, especially in Myanmar, where Islamophobia and corruption amongst the 'Burmese' (Bama) generals and families in power run amok. But I suppose growing up in a military family means you're able to live your life without politics consuming every aspect of your identity and in that regard, I envy her, truly.
With that being said, what she doesn't talk about and I assume deliberately left out, was the effect of the coup. She makes one reference to it in the whole of the book, a move I found ballsy, considering the other 99% of people in Myanmar regardless of race have to live with the consequences that the military (that her own father is a part of) decided they deserved. As you'll see in other reviews, she praises her father for his service to the country. This was the moment I left the benefit of the doubt — not only does she praise the regime that oppresses and murders people for the sake of it — she victimizes herself in a society built specifically for families like her's to succeed. This author is not a victim. This author is not a victim. This author is absolutely not a fucking victim. When you've sought out an international school education, and a university experience abroad, and a partner that doesn't hold your problematic views accountable, the ignorance of your country's suffering is a choice you choose to make, and she made that choice. She talks about her experiences of foreigners assuming she is not smart due to her skintone and accent, so I know she thinks she is smart, and leads me to believe that the ignorance was intentional, which makes reading this book such an eyesore. I don't know if this author is cognitively impaired or just plain stupid, but I cannot wrap my head around the fact that she chose to write about her experience being Myanmar and *not* write about the history that Myanmar people have to live with and go through.
As for the rest of the book, she talks about her experience assimilating abroad, something any immigrant is familiar with, with more negatives than positives. I found myself relating a lot to having to switch accents and such, cooking more tangible foods rather than time-consuming curries in a university setting, and then as I read on, I picked up on something that made me feel very sorry for her. The pattern in which she discusses whiteness and her space around it is not one of observation, it is of admiration. She openly discusses preferring 'white' foods and cooking methods, and while that's not something to fault anyone for, it is also something embarrassing to observe. I'm sure many immigrants in the West have had a period where they try to assimilate themselves into whiteness before realizing whiteness really isn't all that it's chalked up to be, but here, while she acknowledges her internalized racism, she still perpetuates it — her writing style evidently favors the customs and traditions of the West, and she praises Myanmar in a way that does not come from love, it comes from fetishization. The way in which she writes about Myanmar is so foreign to me, I couldn't believe this was a local. I'm also noting she denounces almost every single tradition (that Thingyan segment made me so sad, especially now so that the military has banned Thingyan celebrations) and a lot of the holidays she writes about are based in Europe. She speaks French and learns French literature, and also outwardly admits in the past, assumed that the Myanmar script was just not meant for Actual Intellectual People TM. I think there's a lot to be taken away from how she depicts whiteness, namely her urge to become it. It is okay to admit you've been whitewashed, we've had our share here and there, and then we overcome it. She's still there though, swearing away, as if this 'progressive' language makes her any better than the history she comes from. Misogyny in Myanmar is very intertwined with the military — the very concept of 'hpone' was one perpetuated by the same military she praises.
I could go on and on, but I'll end with this paragraph, mainly because I have better things to do, like watching paint dry. She discusses Myanmar representation in a foreign space, and while I know how important it is to depict Myanmar accurately, and write to an impossible standard, she's fulfilled her own self prophecy by writing an objectively mediocre book. The writing is nothing to praise and she misconstrues the country and its people through the lens of someone that benefits from the corruption they allow. I believe that with every single book you read, you learn something from it, and in this case, I've learnt that if I take a shit, this book will be a better use of an asswipe than something to even glance at. What poor representation of the country, and also what poor writing. Three creative writing degrees and this was the best you could come up with. Studied at the best places in the world and you present shit on a plate and market it to white people because you know the country you claim to love will call you out on your bullshit.
All in all, this is a book about a Myanmar woman who victimizes herself in a country where everyone else, literally, is oppressed because of her and her ancestors. If you're planning on reading this I promise you you'll have a better time counting the lines in your palms. I realize this is probably the meanest review I've ever written and will ever write, but I have never read such bullshit, and am so disappointed that this is what people are reading in the West as an introduction to womanhood in Myanmar. Ironically, to quote the book, Myanmar people aren't all like this. Please research the military regime and its effect on women and minorities, and even just normal people that aren't military affiliated, and you'll know that this book is shit.
May 27, 2022
It was cool to see a book by an author from Myanmar. I mainly picked it up because I wanted to learn the perspective of an author from a culture I’m not familiar with. She makes passing references to Myanmar’s history (British colonization, independence, deep Buddhist roots) and I was really interested to learn more about Myanmar’s history. I learned from outside reading that it was ruled as a British colony until 1948, after which it gained independence post WWII and established a democracy, though one which denied civil rights to minority groups. Civil wars have been a constant feature since independence. Then in 1962, that democracy was overthrown and a military socialist government replaced it, which drove out a lot of Western businesses and human rights violations were rampant. In response, there was reform, and a new constitution in 2008, as well as a (possibly fraudulent) parliamentary election two years later. In 2015, parliamentary victories were won by the National League for Democracy, and the country began to move away from military rule. AND THEN, in 2021, the military detained the major members of the ruling party on parliament convention day and handed power over to the military chief and declared a state of emergency for one year! And closing borders. I was really surprised to see that the life expectancy for men there is still less than 65 years! Also, looking at a map, I realized it’s way bigger than I thought it was! I remember all the news coverage of genocide against Rohingya Muslims over the last couple of years. The author actually says “The concept of “racial purity” is openly taught in the Myanmar public school system.” And remembering all that, along with the history of unrest, I was so surprised that the author decided to move back there after the completion of her degree abroad. She also broke up with her partner of several years rather than emigrate to the UK, citing that she would have found it too dehumanizing to prove their relationship was “genuine” and always be under scrutiny. Also, her family seems not at all down with her marrying a non-Myanmar man. That was sad. It was interesting to see how different cultural forces in her life have forced her to make certain decisions to protect her chosen identity. The themes that popped up to me were internalized racism, recovering from a colonial past, personal identity, and inequity related to national borders.
I liked many of the stories presented here, and found many of them really relatable as an immigrant myself (my name also starts with an unaspirated ‘P’). The author is really vulnerable in these deeply personal stories, which is always really cool to read. The story about her name was interesting, especially Mrs. Aduba saying ““If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.” That stuck with me. The story about the separation of men’s clothes from women’s dirty vagina touching clothes was also an interesting way to highlight the “small and large ways in which misogyny permeated Myanmar culture.” I also liked the essay on her identity struggles with being a Myanmar writer, but not knowing how to write in her own native language: “reminding myself that just because I cannot write in the Myanmar language does not mean that I am not a Myanmar writer.”
Regarding the topic of the book, I found it kind of strange that it was all about being from Myanmar and how her values have been shaped by it’s culture and the internalized racism against people like her, given that she writes a whole essay on “I got so increasingly sick of people who read my writing only ever asking me about “life in Myanmar” or “Burmese culture” that at one point, young, stubborn teenage me made a deal with myself that I wouldn’t write about my race or my ethnicity. Writing about my background was a cop-out; my white classmates and teachers would hesitate to say anything bad about my work for fear of being branded a racist.” I guess she changed her mind. I’m curious to see what her next book is about.
Overall, interesting and relatable content. I didn’t find it super unique, except that it was from a writer from a culture I didn’t know much about. I enjoyed how vulnerable it was, and thought the author was really brave to include all that she did.
I liked many of the stories presented here, and found many of them really relatable as an immigrant myself (my name also starts with an unaspirated ‘P’). The author is really vulnerable in these deeply personal stories, which is always really cool to read. The story about her name was interesting, especially Mrs. Aduba saying ““If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.” That stuck with me. The story about the separation of men’s clothes from women’s dirty vagina touching clothes was also an interesting way to highlight the “small and large ways in which misogyny permeated Myanmar culture.” I also liked the essay on her identity struggles with being a Myanmar writer, but not knowing how to write in her own native language: “reminding myself that just because I cannot write in the Myanmar language does not mean that I am not a Myanmar writer.”
Regarding the topic of the book, I found it kind of strange that it was all about being from Myanmar and how her values have been shaped by it’s culture and the internalized racism against people like her, given that she writes a whole essay on “I got so increasingly sick of people who read my writing only ever asking me about “life in Myanmar” or “Burmese culture” that at one point, young, stubborn teenage me made a deal with myself that I wouldn’t write about my race or my ethnicity. Writing about my background was a cop-out; my white classmates and teachers would hesitate to say anything bad about my work for fear of being branded a racist.” I guess she changed her mind. I’m curious to see what her next book is about.
Overall, interesting and relatable content. I didn’t find it super unique, except that it was from a writer from a culture I didn’t know much about. I enjoyed how vulnerable it was, and thought the author was really brave to include all that she did.
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