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372 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 11, 2022
“I love it when you beg,” Jules whispered. “But you don’t have to. I’ll give you anything you want.”
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“A week?” she said that night. “That’s all he gave you?”
Jules stared at her. “Vivian, remember when Mariel had her baby last August?” she asked. “How long did you give her to come back?”
“Company policy dictates—”
“Yeah, yeah, but how long did you give her? I mean informally?”
Vivian sniffed, acting like she didn’t remember.
“Also a week. And she was the one who actually gave birth. And she worked until the afternoon she went into labor!” As in her contractions had actually begun at work, and she’d kept sifting through advertising copy until they were six minutes apart. “And then you fired her anyway.”
Vivian waved an impatient hand.
1) Instead of reassuring Jules that she loved her when Jules communicated that she was feeling insecure, she just made Jules feel bad for not interpreting her "actions" as her being loving.
Vivian raised the pitch of her voice. “‘Vivian, Simon said something that made me doubt everything you’ve ever done or said—’”
“Hey!”
“‘—and I left my brain in another handbag this morning, so would you please kiss me and make it all better?’”
2) Initiates sex while Jules is trying to communicate with her
3) Keeps a bunch of secrets from Jules, always leaving her in the dark and forcing Jules to declare that she "trusts" Vivian.
“Okay, so what’s going on with Mark Tavio?”
There was a pause, and then Vivian gave another sigh, even heavier than this morning. “Look. What if I told you that you’re going to know everything in time, that I don’t want you to worry about it, and that, for God’s sake, I don’t want to talk about this right now?”
4) Doesn't prioritise Jules at all — when she calls she just vents about her day and ends the call when Jules starts to respond, and is always canceling the ONE day a week they have scheduled to spend time together.
5) Compares Jules to all her ex-husbands for just "not getting it" — "it" being putting her work above all else. (Or Above All Things, lol.)
6) Doesn't do the pregnancy readings that Jules picked out personally for her and served her on a platter. And Vivian tries to schedule a fucking C-Section (???) because she wants to give birth on her schedule?? Even though it requires more recovery etc. that Jules tried to explain to her?
Jules stared at her. “Vivian, Braxton Hicks contractions literally do none of those things. That was real labor!”
“Well, I’m sorry if I skipped the reading,” Vivian spat. “I’ve been busy.”
7) When Vivian finally declares that she loves Jules, Jules is obviously shocked. Vivian loves hearing the words, even calls Jules again if she doesn't say them at the end, but she never said them back. When she does, Jules gets emotional, logically, and she just makes fun of her.
Vivian smiled faintly. “Mm-hmm.” Then she wrinkled her nose. “Are you crying?”
8) Jules asks very minimal things of Vivian, and most requests aren't even for her. They're like "Vivian, please eat lunch", and Vivian doesn't even do that.
9) Arrives late to an event she already had to postpone with Jules. Absolute bullshit.
“I’m sorry. I thought I’d be finished by now. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
An apology was more than warranted. Vivian also didn’t give many of them. As mad as she was, Jules could still recognize a momentous event when she saw it.
I’ll bet she apologized to her ex-husbands too.
Vivian didn’t get home until a quarter to nine—forty-five minutes past her own deadline.
10) Vivian is always victimising herself, even though she's always the one being shitty.
“Oh, now this is about me,” Vivian said. “Maybe you should have started that way. It would have made the sucker punch a lot more effective.”
Jules’s jaw dropped. “No! I have to work at it too. I know I’m not perfect.”
(...)
“Oh good,” Vivian said. “I’ve been wondering when you’d figure that out.”
Jules’s mouth snapped shut. Then she said, “What?”
“Ms. Relationship Expert,” Vivian said. “Everything’s so easy, isn’t it? Everything’s so black-and white. You know exactly what we need. You know exactly how to heal me because God knows I must be broken somewhere.”
11) Jules proposes that she and Vivian live together, since they're finding it so hard to meet up, and Vivian just scrunches her nose and makes fun of her again, yet later claims that she HAD been thinking about doing it?? And she originally claims that if THAT is what it takes to make Jules less insecure then she'll MAYBE do it. Just so fucking bitchy and soulless istg.
“Give it a shot?” Jules repeated, hoping she’d misinterpreted.
“Yes, Julia, that’s what I said. If this…invasion is what you need to feel secure in—”
“Invasion?” The world was starting to haze red.
(...)
“I’d already been thinking about it, you know. It’s not like the idea never crossed my mind, although I’m sure you thought you were being incredibly original. But unlike you, I was giving it due consideration.”
12) Vivian drags sexuality labels through the dirt. It's obviously okay for you yourself to be unlabelled, but draging the concept is trashy, and she even refuses to be called queer at all because Jules is the only woman she's been attracted to 😀 AS IF THAT MAKES HER ANY LESS GAY LMAO. Istg, if she'd pulled a Clay and said "I'm not gay, I'm just in love with you", I'd have started throwing punches.
Vivian looked back and shrugged. “What? I don’t use labels. I wear them."
13) When Jules' parents find out about their relationship, they're logically concerned. Jules used to vent about how horrible Vivian was all the time and Vivian took her away from her family holiday time. They're rightfully concerned, but what does Vivian say to her girlfriend's fucking parents?:
“You can’t possibly think I’m interested in justifying myself to you.”
14) Overall, Vivian just demands that Jules do things for her: foot rub or otherwise, and even claims that she deserves it after all the hassle that Jules apparently makes her go through.
Jules stuck her hands in her pants pockets and sauntered over to Vivian’s chair, grinning down at her. “I owe you the foot rub of a lifetime too.”
Vivian’s stoic face finally cracked as she bared her teeth at Jules in a savage smile. “You have no idea.”
"After all you said about Vivian when she was your boss, we’re suddenly supposed to believe this is some healthy thing?”
“I can’t make you believe anything.” Jules closed her eyes.
“Did you get these just for tonight? For me?” She slid her hands up and down Vivian’s thighs again in time with her kisses.
“Uh—” Vivian gulped. “Uh, yes, I, um—”
Aw-w. “You want it?” Jules whispered and exhaled hotly against the wetness that seeped through the silk. “You ready for it?” She licked roughly and Vivian gasped. “You going to give it to me?”
“I see what you meant about church,” Vivian murmured. She set the remote on a shelf, stepped forward, and stroked her fingers through Jules’s hair. Then her hand drifted downward, her fingertips brushing Jules’s cheek on the way to her bare throat. “I’m feeling reverent too.”
“You’re supposed to keep your hands to yourself in church,” Jules said around her fingertip. She nipped gently, her eyes closed. Easier to savor that way. “So hands off.”
“Good.” Jules smiled. “So…you’ll let me, won’t you?”
Vivian’s voice dropped down into a low rasping register as she asked, “Let you what?”
Jules closed her eyes and swallowed hard. “Strip you off, lay you down, and fuck you.”
“Like everything in fashion, perfume either has intelligence or it doesn’t. You deserve something smarter than a one-note floral. Give me your arm.” Vivian held out a commanding hand.
Jules obeyed, extending her arm so Vivian could smell her wrist. At the brush of Vivian’s nose on her skin—and seconds later her mouth—Jules got goose bumps. As Vivian had no doubt intended.
“And I did this. Exactly this.” Vivian began to brush her thumb over Jules’s clit again—very, very lightly. “Exactly what I’m doing to you now. Which is when I discovered that I do like it slow. And gentle.”
“Going to come,” Jules panted against her skin. “Going to…going…”
“But you like it rougher,” Vivian said, “don’t you?” And she pressed down firmly with her thumb.
Jules grinned, suddenly elated. She loved Vivian so much in that moment that it hurt. It actually took the edge off her arousal for a second. She beamed, combed her sweaty hair off her forehead, and kissed Vivian’s nose.
“And you like it too, don’t you? I like doing. You like being done to. Don’t you?”
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