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Reckless Grace: A Mother's Crash Course in Mental Illness
Non-fiction Finalist in Chanticleer International Book Awards
Fourteen-year-old Rachel guards a collection of secrets for ten years, journaling to vent her terror and loneliness.
Following Rachel’s fatal overdose years later, her mother, Carolyn DiPasquale, stumbles upon her daughter’s diaries. Shattered, she searches for answers, retracing her steps to figure out how parents and doctors missed three major mental illnesses.
What the single, working mother recalls is a far cry from what happens, as dramatically revealed in tandem chapters gleaned from Rachel’s journals.
While the mother sprints from task to task, the daughter details the baffling emergence and frightening progression of bulimia, diabulimia, and borderline personality disorder; her eventual substance abuse; and heart-wrenching reasons for not seeking help.
Despite her loss, DiPasquale hopes her story lights a path for victims of mental illness while awakening all readers.
“Reckless Grace tells the story of a common struggle—one of a family navigating a loved one’s mental illness—through a powerful, unique lens. Carolyn DiPasquale’s firsthand narrative, punctuated by actual passages from her daughter’s journals, offers an intimate perspective on self-medication through substance use. It’s exactly what we need to help normalize a much-needed national conversation on mental health and addiction.”
– Former U.S. Congressman Patrick J. Kennedy
Fourteen-year-old Rachel guards a collection of secrets for ten years, journaling to vent her terror and loneliness.
Following Rachel’s fatal overdose years later, her mother, Carolyn DiPasquale, stumbles upon her daughter’s diaries. Shattered, she searches for answers, retracing her steps to figure out how parents and doctors missed three major mental illnesses.
What the single, working mother recalls is a far cry from what happens, as dramatically revealed in tandem chapters gleaned from Rachel’s journals.
While the mother sprints from task to task, the daughter details the baffling emergence and frightening progression of bulimia, diabulimia, and borderline personality disorder; her eventual substance abuse; and heart-wrenching reasons for not seeking help.
Despite her loss, DiPasquale hopes her story lights a path for victims of mental illness while awakening all readers.
“Reckless Grace tells the story of a common struggle—one of a family navigating a loved one’s mental illness—through a powerful, unique lens. Carolyn DiPasquale’s firsthand narrative, punctuated by actual passages from her daughter’s journals, offers an intimate perspective on self-medication through substance use. It’s exactly what we need to help normalize a much-needed national conversation on mental health and addiction.”
– Former U.S. Congressman Patrick J. Kennedy
532 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 5, 2022
16 people are currently reading
26 people want to read
About the author
Carolyn DiPasquale
1 book3 followersCarolyn DiPasquale grew up in Wisconsin, graduating from UW-Milwaukee with a double major in English and French. In 1983, she moved to Rhode Island (RI) where she raised three children while pursuing her Master’s in English at URI. She taught college English; wrote technical books for the Naval Undersea Warfare Center in Newport; and grants for Turning Around Ministries, also in Newport. She has been an active member of the Newport Round Table, a professional writing group, since 2013.
Reckless Grace is her first published work.
Reckless Grace won both the Outstanding “Grief/Hardship” Category Prize, as well as the Grand Prize First Place: Non-Fiction Book of the Year in the Independent Author Network 2024 Book of the Year Awards. Additionally, it was a Nonfiction Finalist in the 2022 Chanticleer International Book Awards.
DiPasquale currently lives in Richmond, RI where she is writing a sequel to Reckless Grace. She enjoys cooking with healthy ingredients, hiking with her husband Phil, and volunteering at the Providence Rescue Mission.
Reckless Grace is her first published work.
Reckless Grace won both the Outstanding “Grief/Hardship” Category Prize, as well as the Grand Prize First Place: Non-Fiction Book of the Year in the Independent Author Network 2024 Book of the Year Awards. Additionally, it was a Nonfiction Finalist in the 2022 Chanticleer International Book Awards.
DiPasquale currently lives in Richmond, RI where she is writing a sequel to Reckless Grace. She enjoys cooking with healthy ingredients, hiking with her husband Phil, and volunteering at the Providence Rescue Mission.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
July 11, 2022
I've never known the thoughts that torture a mentally ill individual until reading this book. Rachel's diagnosis of type one diabetes seemed to be the the flash point for unmanageable eating disorders, obsession with her weight. We witness her splitting into two selves, developing addictive behaviors and ultimately disintegrate in spite of her mother's desperate efforts to help. This is a heart wrenching story that gives insight into the endless internal battles of the mentally ill. I recommend this memoir for readers who love someone struggling with mental health.
August 25, 2022
The Review
This was such a powerful, emotional, and heartbreaking read. The author’s passionate story of loss, discovery, and the journey through grief that was presented was emotional and captivating all at once as a reader, and yet heartfelt and tragic for any parent out there who has had to deal with this level of loss. The honest and poignant way in which the author wrote kept the reader invested in their story throughout the narrative.
The things that really will stay with readers long after reading the book is both the style in which the author presented this story and the themes that were talked about. The way the author presented both her perspective as a mother and her journey through grief and then also her daughter’s perspective through diary entries that explored the struggles of mental health and other disorders was not only very balanced, but came across in a very narrative way. The themes however were plentiful enough for a multitude of different readers to relate to. For me personally, as someone who has someone in their life that has had to deal with many of these mental health and eating disorders, I have experienced first hand so much of the author’s own experiences, and while I may not understand it from a parental perspective, I do know what it is like to yearn to help and care for someone you love who is struggling with something outside of their control.
The Verdict
Heartbreaking, emotional, and engaging, author Carolyn DiPasquale’s “Reckless Grace: A Mother’s Crash Course in Mental Illness” is a must-read nonfiction book on mental health, grief, and the journey of a parent with their child. The story presented is difficult, and yet brings an urgency and need for all parents to understand and utilize in their journeys, and with that awareness readers can have the much needed sense of healing and hope that many parents are seeking out there.
This was such a powerful, emotional, and heartbreaking read. The author’s passionate story of loss, discovery, and the journey through grief that was presented was emotional and captivating all at once as a reader, and yet heartfelt and tragic for any parent out there who has had to deal with this level of loss. The honest and poignant way in which the author wrote kept the reader invested in their story throughout the narrative.
The things that really will stay with readers long after reading the book is both the style in which the author presented this story and the themes that were talked about. The way the author presented both her perspective as a mother and her journey through grief and then also her daughter’s perspective through diary entries that explored the struggles of mental health and other disorders was not only very balanced, but came across in a very narrative way. The themes however were plentiful enough for a multitude of different readers to relate to. For me personally, as someone who has someone in their life that has had to deal with many of these mental health and eating disorders, I have experienced first hand so much of the author’s own experiences, and while I may not understand it from a parental perspective, I do know what it is like to yearn to help and care for someone you love who is struggling with something outside of their control.
The Verdict
Heartbreaking, emotional, and engaging, author Carolyn DiPasquale’s “Reckless Grace: A Mother’s Crash Course in Mental Illness” is a must-read nonfiction book on mental health, grief, and the journey of a parent with their child. The story presented is difficult, and yet brings an urgency and need for all parents to understand and utilize in their journeys, and with that awareness readers can have the much needed sense of healing and hope that many parents are seeking out there.
August 27, 2022
First, I want to thank Carolyn DiPasquale, Wido Publishing and WOW! Women on Writing for providing me with this book so I may bring you this review.
WOW! Carolyn DiPasquale I commend you for being so brave in opening up and sharing your daughter’s extremely personal and powerful story with us. Reckless Grace is a very emotionally charged story where I found myself reaching for the tissues on a few occasions.
Steven Novak needs to be commended for his beautiful cover design on Reckless Grace.
Carolyn introduced us to her daughter Rachel by her extremely raw personal journal entries. It was here that we got a glimpse of the ups and downs of Rachel’s life. So many times I just wanted to jump into the story and give her a hug for all that whe was dealing with!
Putting myself into Carolyn’s shoes I can’t imagine how painful it must have been to read the truth of all the pain and suffering that her child was going through. Like with Rachel I also wanted to give Carolyn comforting hugs.
Carolyn did a brilliant job researching and educating her readers on some very important health and mental issues that were addressed in this book. For me personally I found a lot of what she learned to be very fascinating.
There was a very important discussion between Rachel and Carolyn that tugged so hard on my heart strings I couldn’t stop tearing up! I could see each other's reasoning from both sides and was torn!
In Reckless Grace you will find pictures of Grace and her paintings that she created.
Reckless Grace is a book you are going to want to put on your tbr list as it is a must read book!
WOW! Carolyn DiPasquale I commend you for being so brave in opening up and sharing your daughter’s extremely personal and powerful story with us. Reckless Grace is a very emotionally charged story where I found myself reaching for the tissues on a few occasions.
Steven Novak needs to be commended for his beautiful cover design on Reckless Grace.
Carolyn introduced us to her daughter Rachel by her extremely raw personal journal entries. It was here that we got a glimpse of the ups and downs of Rachel’s life. So many times I just wanted to jump into the story and give her a hug for all that whe was dealing with!
Putting myself into Carolyn’s shoes I can’t imagine how painful it must have been to read the truth of all the pain and suffering that her child was going through. Like with Rachel I also wanted to give Carolyn comforting hugs.
Carolyn did a brilliant job researching and educating her readers on some very important health and mental issues that were addressed in this book. For me personally I found a lot of what she learned to be very fascinating.
There was a very important discussion between Rachel and Carolyn that tugged so hard on my heart strings I couldn’t stop tearing up! I could see each other's reasoning from both sides and was torn!
In Reckless Grace you will find pictures of Grace and her paintings that she created.
Reckless Grace is a book you are going to want to put on your tbr list as it is a must read book!
September 2, 2022
A story that lights a path for victims of mental illness while awakening all readers.
Reckless Grace by Carolyn DiPasquale is a heart-wrenching story told through Rachel’s journals and her mother's POV, documenting how Rachel’s type 1 diabetes diagnosis changed and ultimately ended her life.
As a mother, this story is as difficult to read as it is all-engrossing. It provides an important reminder that staying connected with your children as they get older is so important and that hugs are necessary and healing.
Thank you to WOW! Women On Writing for providing me with an ARC of this memoir. I’m honoured to share my book review on tour today.
Carolyn and Rachel both write so beautifully but their story is heartbreaking. Although there’s an abundance of emotion in Rachel’s words on paper, especially when she encourages her mother to share their story. Did I mention emotion? Oh, how I feel for these women.
This brave and important story shines a light on diabetes, mental illness, and drug addiction. And I’m so glad Carolyn found the strength to share it.
Thank you, Carolyn. I’m sorry for your precious loss, Rachel will forever live on the pages of your memoir and in the memory of your readers.
Reckless Grace by Carolyn DiPasquale is a heart-wrenching story told through Rachel’s journals and her mother's POV, documenting how Rachel’s type 1 diabetes diagnosis changed and ultimately ended her life.
As a mother, this story is as difficult to read as it is all-engrossing. It provides an important reminder that staying connected with your children as they get older is so important and that hugs are necessary and healing.
Thank you to WOW! Women On Writing for providing me with an ARC of this memoir. I’m honoured to share my book review on tour today.
Carolyn and Rachel both write so beautifully but their story is heartbreaking. Although there’s an abundance of emotion in Rachel’s words on paper, especially when she encourages her mother to share their story. Did I mention emotion? Oh, how I feel for these women.
This brave and important story shines a light on diabetes, mental illness, and drug addiction. And I’m so glad Carolyn found the strength to share it.
Thank you, Carolyn. I’m sorry for your precious loss, Rachel will forever live on the pages of your memoir and in the memory of your readers.
December 15, 2022
What a gripping story of a mother’s greatest loss, that of her 28 year old daughter!
At only 14, when Rachel was diagnosed with diabetes, she began obsessing with over weight gain, which lead to eating disorders (ED): bulimia, diabulimia, depression, and BPD.
She also began journaling. At 14 this brilliant child penned the most beautiful, sometimes raw poetry and prose! As her mental illnesses progressed over the next decade, so did her writing skill; indeed, she captured her illnesses in excruciating detail. A talented painter - some of her lovely works are also featured in this memoir.
This book is an eye-opener for Parents, Pastors, Youth Leaders, Mentors, and anyone dealing with Mental Illnesses. It could help someone see missed, or hidden, “signs” and save a life, young or old.
*It’s a well-researched, *heart-wrenching, *easy-to-read true story, *sprinkled with much-needed humor! From beginning to end, absolutely gripping! A must have in your library. Lourdes AK
At only 14, when Rachel was diagnosed with diabetes, she began obsessing with over weight gain, which lead to eating disorders (ED): bulimia, diabulimia, depression, and BPD.
She also began journaling. At 14 this brilliant child penned the most beautiful, sometimes raw poetry and prose! As her mental illnesses progressed over the next decade, so did her writing skill; indeed, she captured her illnesses in excruciating detail. A talented painter - some of her lovely works are also featured in this memoir.
This book is an eye-opener for Parents, Pastors, Youth Leaders, Mentors, and anyone dealing with Mental Illnesses. It could help someone see missed, or hidden, “signs” and save a life, young or old.
*It’s a well-researched, *heart-wrenching, *easy-to-read true story, *sprinkled with much-needed humor! From beginning to end, absolutely gripping! A must have in your library. Lourdes AK
August 22, 2022
Wow, what a book. It starts and ends painfully, but honestly. The author draws you into the unfolding drama that happens in her life. She brings us into the rawness of her daughter’s circumstances with her own observations of what unfolded as a parent along with what her daughter went through privately, as written in Rachel’s journals. The whole time it’s difficult to read but very well written, very real, and very important.
For a lot of people, the journey of mental illnesses, drug abuse, and eating disorders doesn’t have a good ending. And my heart broke for both Carolyn and her daughter Rachel. This isn’t going to be an easy book to read but it’s a powerful book. It’s something to read if you are entering into the mental health field, or have a family member battling their own issues like the ones Caroyln faced with her daughter.
Don’t miss this book
For a lot of people, the journey of mental illnesses, drug abuse, and eating disorders doesn’t have a good ending. And my heart broke for both Carolyn and her daughter Rachel. This isn’t going to be an easy book to read but it’s a powerful book. It’s something to read if you are entering into the mental health field, or have a family member battling their own issues like the ones Caroyln faced with her daughter.
Don’t miss this book
November 23, 2022
Reckless Grace is Rachel's heart wrenching story of her struggles with accepting her diabetes diagnosis which sent her into a downward spiral and ultimately sadly resulting in her passing. Beautifully written by her mother based upon revelations provided from Rachel's journals and the writers' deep sense of loss, this book serves not only as a path to her healing but for readers who may find themselves in common personal challenges.
August 18, 2022
A very honest and open look at losing a child as a young adult to mental illness and reading through the journey via her journals. A tough read, but very good.
November 17, 2022
Why
It was OK but I think it jumped around alot and I don't like book like that. Others may like it alot but I don't. I got rid of it when finished.
It was OK but I think it jumped around alot and I don't like book like that. Others may like it alot but I don't. I got rid of it when finished.
March 18, 2024
Reckless Grace: A Mother’s Crash Course in Mental Illness by Carolyn DiPasquale. The book follows the lives of a mother (Carolyn) and her daughter (Rachel) in a unique way. You have three perspectives working together. The perspective of a mom writing in retrospect as she reads her daughter’s journals, and pieces together a timeline that took, I estimate, a good part of seven years or more to complete. You have the perspective of a daughter as she shares her personal journey, with multiple coinciding physical and mental health issues, transparently. Many of the chapters are the writings from these journal pages, now published after her death. Finally, there is a third perspective which I believe is the combination of time it took to bring this book to fruition and the thorough, detailed work of the author that comes through, almost like an investigative reporter who assisted Carolyn in the work. The book is exhaustive in its detail of the journey shared by mother and daughter and although Carolyn wrote this book after the tragic loss of her only daughter, Rachel, her hope is to light a path those struggling in the throes of mental illness and/or substance abuse while raising awareness for everyone.
The format can be challenging at times as it is riveting as you deep-dive into the events but Carolyn’s writing swings from poetic prose to technical medical writer at once bringing the reader into the times and places, but also elaborating and educating along the way. We experience the raised eyebrow of surprise at the failures in treatment, and incompetencies in care. We are transported back and forth in time and perspective throughout the four hundred pages. There are times I needed to take a break when I read this book for the first time. I believe this is partly due to the proximity of my reading it so soon after my daughter’s death. There were parts that brought to mind many of the experiences, challenges and struggles we went through. Though each unique in their own rights. I read through a second time with Audible this year and was clearer on the unique aspects of Rachel’s journey to adulthood and her complicated relationship with herself, her medical condition as an insulin dependent diabetic from childhood, and her multiple mental health illnesses which drove her further and further away from the good things she desired and was capable of this side of eternity.
I think this book is a multi-genre offering being part memoir, biography, autobiography, handbook, and psychology book. The thorough manner with which Carolyn dissects and meticulously chronicles Rachel’s illnesses and offers her insights and retrospect make this a groundbreaking help for mental health professionals as well as those who are living through the psychological trauma that is currently our health care system. Rachel herself longed for her journals to release her voice into the world and gave her mother explicit permission to do so in an almost prophetic way years before she died: “I can’t carry these secrets anymore.” and, “I would let her have my words in this book, and I can see her furiously working at publishing it.”
Carolyn shines a light for parents, health professionals and for us all throughout this book.
“More people struggle with mental illness than we might guess, some fight simultaneous battles lasting years or decades. Therefore, let us embrace the unembraceable. Let us treat them with respect, patience, and love. Let us give them grace.” (Carolyn DiPasquale)
I would not say this is an easy read but for the person who wants a clearer picture of the many subtle (and not so subtle) forces working within the world of mental health illness, treatment, diagnosis, confusions, and perceptions this is an eye-opening and heartbreaking reality check.
In conclusion, I think this book is an education to the reader. It is a work worthy of your time and attention. It may present challenges in content, and preconceived ideas you may hold, but it will teach you, and that is worth it. I pray with Carolyn that it may help the parent, teacher, health professional, or any person who needs the insights most to have a better outcome.
The format can be challenging at times as it is riveting as you deep-dive into the events but Carolyn’s writing swings from poetic prose to technical medical writer at once bringing the reader into the times and places, but also elaborating and educating along the way. We experience the raised eyebrow of surprise at the failures in treatment, and incompetencies in care. We are transported back and forth in time and perspective throughout the four hundred pages. There are times I needed to take a break when I read this book for the first time. I believe this is partly due to the proximity of my reading it so soon after my daughter’s death. There were parts that brought to mind many of the experiences, challenges and struggles we went through. Though each unique in their own rights. I read through a second time with Audible this year and was clearer on the unique aspects of Rachel’s journey to adulthood and her complicated relationship with herself, her medical condition as an insulin dependent diabetic from childhood, and her multiple mental health illnesses which drove her further and further away from the good things she desired and was capable of this side of eternity.
I think this book is a multi-genre offering being part memoir, biography, autobiography, handbook, and psychology book. The thorough manner with which Carolyn dissects and meticulously chronicles Rachel’s illnesses and offers her insights and retrospect make this a groundbreaking help for mental health professionals as well as those who are living through the psychological trauma that is currently our health care system. Rachel herself longed for her journals to release her voice into the world and gave her mother explicit permission to do so in an almost prophetic way years before she died: “I can’t carry these secrets anymore.” and, “I would let her have my words in this book, and I can see her furiously working at publishing it.”
Carolyn shines a light for parents, health professionals and for us all throughout this book.
“More people struggle with mental illness than we might guess, some fight simultaneous battles lasting years or decades. Therefore, let us embrace the unembraceable. Let us treat them with respect, patience, and love. Let us give them grace.” (Carolyn DiPasquale)
I would not say this is an easy read but for the person who wants a clearer picture of the many subtle (and not so subtle) forces working within the world of mental health illness, treatment, diagnosis, confusions, and perceptions this is an eye-opening and heartbreaking reality check.
In conclusion, I think this book is an education to the reader. It is a work worthy of your time and attention. It may present challenges in content, and preconceived ideas you may hold, but it will teach you, and that is worth it. I pray with Carolyn that it may help the parent, teacher, health professional, or any person who needs the insights most to have a better outcome.
March 15, 2024
Reckless Grace is the heartbreaking story of a grieving mother’s mission to confront the long-hidden demons of a lost daughter. Though they are estranged by the daughter’s desperate desire to hide her troubled life, throughout the story they share the sweet, strong bond of being able to tell terrible truths through unbearably beautiful words. The mother’s horror at having to sift through her daughter’s unspeakable secrets in her journals is eclipsed only by her courage and heart cry to give Rachel a voice.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews