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Low Demand Parenting: Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection with your PDA Child
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
June 5, 2023
My thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy for me to look over. I'm not receiving anything in exchange for this review.
I met Amanda when she reached out to me a couple of years ago to see if she might be a fit for my podcast, Neurodiverging. I realized pretty quickly that she was doing something groundbreaking, and have been amazed and thrilled to see her work develop and grow over the past years. I've been looking forward to this book since she mentioned she was working on it, and now that it's here, it does not disappoint!
Amanda practices what she calls low demand parenting, a style of parenting that highlights trust, connection, and shared values among the family, rather than the traditional hierarchy of parent and child. It is an intensely collaborative approach building on the work of Ross Green, Stephen Porges, Mona Delahooke, and many others. The book is intensely practical, with opportunities to brainstorm, journal, and practice the skills you'll need to implement low demand parenting for your family. I am already planning how I can incorporate the text into my parent coaching programs.
If you follow Neurodiverging and have an affinity for the style of parenting I teach and practice, you will love this book. It is a must-have for every neurodivergent family.
I met Amanda when she reached out to me a couple of years ago to see if she might be a fit for my podcast, Neurodiverging. I realized pretty quickly that she was doing something groundbreaking, and have been amazed and thrilled to see her work develop and grow over the past years. I've been looking forward to this book since she mentioned she was working on it, and now that it's here, it does not disappoint!
Amanda practices what she calls low demand parenting, a style of parenting that highlights trust, connection, and shared values among the family, rather than the traditional hierarchy of parent and child. It is an intensely collaborative approach building on the work of Ross Green, Stephen Porges, Mona Delahooke, and many others. The book is intensely practical, with opportunities to brainstorm, journal, and practice the skills you'll need to implement low demand parenting for your family. I am already planning how I can incorporate the text into my parent coaching programs.
If you follow Neurodiverging and have an affinity for the style of parenting I teach and practice, you will love this book. It is a must-have for every neurodivergent family.
June 8, 2023
I received a free copy of this book as part of an advanced readers group. This is an honest review.
Low Demand Parenting is a parents guide for those who have children with PDA (pathological demand avoidance or persistent drive for autonomy). I’ve been following Amanda since several months ago when I learned that my son probably has PDA (self-diagnosed) and sometimes struggled to understand low demand parenting and how it is practically applicable in real life.
This book really delivered on answers and helped me wrap my mind around how this could really look for my family. The parenting approach is fully explained and feels sustainable.
First of all, the first chapter of the book was incredibly relatable and helpful. Parenting kids like ours can be isolating and lonely, and I know, at least for me, I blamed myself for our struggles. Reading Amanda’s story with her boys was beautifully validating and a reminder and that we’re not alone; this is not just nice but CRUCIAL for families like ours.
Truthfully, I’m still having a hard time with some of the ideas and strategies in low demand parenting. I don’t want to do everything for my child all the time because I want him to become self-reliant and independent. I fight internally against that concept. I appreciated that Amanda repeatedly addressed that and showed how deeply we need to accommodate these children and their highly sensitive and threatened nervous systems. We provide the initial scaffolding to help them heal and build skills and tenacity in their early years (and in their later childhood/teenage years if they’ve experienced traumatic burnout) so that eventually they can learn to do things for themselves.
This framework is needed by so many families. Many of us are struggling and flailing and trying to figure out how not to drown. Dropping demands and radical acceptance are necessary steps for PDA families to move forward and thrive.
Low Demand Parenting is a parents guide for those who have children with PDA (pathological demand avoidance or persistent drive for autonomy). I’ve been following Amanda since several months ago when I learned that my son probably has PDA (self-diagnosed) and sometimes struggled to understand low demand parenting and how it is practically applicable in real life.
This book really delivered on answers and helped me wrap my mind around how this could really look for my family. The parenting approach is fully explained and feels sustainable.
First of all, the first chapter of the book was incredibly relatable and helpful. Parenting kids like ours can be isolating and lonely, and I know, at least for me, I blamed myself for our struggles. Reading Amanda’s story with her boys was beautifully validating and a reminder and that we’re not alone; this is not just nice but CRUCIAL for families like ours.
Truthfully, I’m still having a hard time with some of the ideas and strategies in low demand parenting. I don’t want to do everything for my child all the time because I want him to become self-reliant and independent. I fight internally against that concept. I appreciated that Amanda repeatedly addressed that and showed how deeply we need to accommodate these children and their highly sensitive and threatened nervous systems. We provide the initial scaffolding to help them heal and build skills and tenacity in their early years (and in their later childhood/teenage years if they’ve experienced traumatic burnout) so that eventually they can learn to do things for themselves.
This framework is needed by so many families. Many of us are struggling and flailing and trying to figure out how not to drown. Dropping demands and radical acceptance are necessary steps for PDA families to move forward and thrive.
June 22, 2023
This review was written by a Speech Therapist at Emerge Pediatric Therapy.
When I first read the term "Low Demand Parenting" I was intrigued. As a mother of two small children, a pediatric therapist for the last decade, and a professional working in marketing, I was a little skeptical. The internet is filled with different personalities selling their parenting style. But I have really loved this book. It has challenged my thinking and has had me reflecting deeply on what it means to place a demand on a child. While so many styles of parenting books focus on compliance, appearance, and fitting social norms, Amanda's method focuses on joy and deeply understanding both you and your child's needs. It's a great resource for parents of neurodivergent and neurotypical children alike. At this point, my children present as neurotypical. Even still, I have found this book helpful in better supporting my daughter through emotional dysregulation. While not everything proposed in the book is something I am ready to make part of my family life, I have enjoyed reflecting on the meaning behind how I parent and how I treat children at my job. It has been easy to take the parts most salient to me and weave them into my interactions. The book is a fast read, clear, and the empathy, compassion, and vulnerability Amanda displays is palpitable.
When I first read the term "Low Demand Parenting" I was intrigued. As a mother of two small children, a pediatric therapist for the last decade, and a professional working in marketing, I was a little skeptical. The internet is filled with different personalities selling their parenting style. But I have really loved this book. It has challenged my thinking and has had me reflecting deeply on what it means to place a demand on a child. While so many styles of parenting books focus on compliance, appearance, and fitting social norms, Amanda's method focuses on joy and deeply understanding both you and your child's needs. It's a great resource for parents of neurodivergent and neurotypical children alike. At this point, my children present as neurotypical. Even still, I have found this book helpful in better supporting my daughter through emotional dysregulation. While not everything proposed in the book is something I am ready to make part of my family life, I have enjoyed reflecting on the meaning behind how I parent and how I treat children at my job. It has been easy to take the parts most salient to me and weave them into my interactions. The book is a fast read, clear, and the empathy, compassion, and vulnerability Amanda displays is palpitable.
July 4, 2023
Like most parents embracing low-demand parenting, I began dropping demands out of necessity when my children, spouse and I were burnt out, had tried so many things, and were still experiencing conflict and crisis at home on a daily basis. I was familiar with low-demand parenting when I found Amanda, but her work, including this wonderful book, have been key to helping me find deeper grounding and confidence in this approach, which has helped my family in a profound way. This book intertwines practical advice with personal stories and insights that are unlike any I have read in other parenting advice books. They’re also much more relatable and applicable to my life. This book made me feel like I’m not alone in my parenting journey and like there’s room in the world for my children and me to be our authentic selves…and even to thrive. I’m beyond grateful this book exists!
June 19, 2023
I wish every parent and parent to be could read this book! This low demand approach for families is just what is needed in today’s society which leaves so many families exhausted and burned out with no idea what to do next. This low demand approach has infused joy and peace into our home for my kids and my partner and I. I wish hospitals could hand it out to new families to read. Amanda’s book provides practical examples and ways to incorporate the low demand approach into your day to day life which I found super helpful! I will be gifting this to all my Mama friends and new mama friends for years to come.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 10, 2023
I received a free copy of this book from Amanda. This is an honest review.
I appreciate that there was not 10 chapters explaining what PDA is before actually telling the main story. Amanda actually tells her story first and has helpful tips on how to start incorporating low demand parenting.
I do wish she went a little further in detail of when her son was in a burnout. My daughter is in burnout and has no demands put on her. So that’s it? No demands and she will one day join us again?
Overall, I enjoyed the book.
I appreciate that there was not 10 chapters explaining what PDA is before actually telling the main story. Amanda actually tells her story first and has helpful tips on how to start incorporating low demand parenting.
I do wish she went a little further in detail of when her son was in a burnout. My daughter is in burnout and has no demands put on her. So that’s it? No demands and she will one day join us again?
Overall, I enjoyed the book.
June 30, 2023
I am so grateful to have found Amanda, and for this book. Her kind, compassionate approach not only validates families like mine. But also empowers us to live our lives in alignment with the values that most support and celebrate our neurodivergence. What is offered here is hope for those who have felt hopeless, and community for those who have felt isolated and alone. This book is a life raft for those us who have felt like we've been sinking for far-too-long. I have never felt more seen.
July 22, 2024
Great book to read if you have a PDA'er. Wish I had stumbled upon it before my son's diagnoses because it would have been very enlightening. Instead, we had already implemented much of her thoughts/ideas through our own journey. One thing I loved about this book was validation. Parenting a PDA'er is so opposite from traditional parenting and the author helped confirm what we saw in how we changed things at home.
July 1, 2023
Such a great resource for those of us who are parenting differently wired kids, and are looking for some kind of trail to follow. Amanda’s experiences are so relatable and she writes about low-demand solutions in clear, easy to understand chapters. I’m so excited for more parents to discover this book!
May 13, 2025
I felt seen in this book. I think I hoped for a little more, as someone that was already deep into research and dropping demands for myself and family already. Great for anyone that is new in the PDA world.
July 2, 2023
As a parent with a PDA child, this book is essential reading for me and for the therapeutic team working with my child. Amanda Diekman's clear and engaging writing makes it feel like you are sitting in your living room with someone who gets it, someone with the same lived experience, and who offers practical advice Chapter One is her story. She describes her family and her journey; which sound remarkably like ours...from the failed behavioural approaches, to the parent blame, to burnout, and back from the brink.
What I have found most frustrating in our family journey from burnout is the lack of practical advice in how to actually make the shift a to low demand lifestyle without pushing ourselves, as parents, too far. This book (along side Amanda's social media presence @lowdemandamanda), is an indispensable resource for strategies to implement, not only for your child, but for yourself/selves as parent(s).
Amanda hits the nail on the head in describing the "fake drop"... the demand drop you do that isn't really genuine and leaves you in a pool of resentment.... And then helps you find your way out of that pattern to genuine care for your deserving, demand avoidant child.
I highly recommend this book to parents/carers and therapists working with children with a PDA profile.
What I have found most frustrating in our family journey from burnout is the lack of practical advice in how to actually make the shift a to low demand lifestyle without pushing ourselves, as parents, too far. This book (along side Amanda's social media presence @lowdemandamanda), is an indispensable resource for strategies to implement, not only for your child, but for yourself/selves as parent(s).
Amanda hits the nail on the head in describing the "fake drop"... the demand drop you do that isn't really genuine and leaves you in a pool of resentment.... And then helps you find your way out of that pattern to genuine care for your deserving, demand avoidant child.
I highly recommend this book to parents/carers and therapists working with children with a PDA profile.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews