Wife of the Chef

by Courtney Febbroriello

Wife of the Chef is at once a no-holds-barred memoir of restaurant life and a revealing look at married life. For Courtney Febbroriello, the two are intertwined. She and her husband own an American bistro in Connecticut. He's the chef, so naturally he gets all the credit. She has the role of keeping things running, but she's the wife, so she remains anonymous or invisible or both.

Febbroriello comes front and center here, detailing the everyday challenges she faces—taking over dish-washing duty, bailing waiters out of jail, untangling the immigration laws, cajoling lazy suppliers, handling unreasonable customers, and a host of other emergency duties. She pokes fun at people who take food and wine—and the chef—too seriously, with witty comments on everything from "chef envy" to the much-ballyhooed James Beard Awards.

Spiced with a healthy spoonful of feminism and enriched with a cup of humor, Wife of the Chef is the tastiest "dish" of the season.


From the Hardcover edition.

Genres: Nonfiction, Food, Memoir, Cooking, Biography, Food Writing, Culinary

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 7, 2003

Reviews

[Mary Joy]

This book is awful.

I didn't finish reading it, a rare thing. This book is just plain awful.

The writing, quite frankly, sucks. The writer, quite frankly, doesn't know how to write: the day-to-day ins and outs of a restaurant through the eyes of a chef's wife could have, would have, but ultimately was not written well here.

The author does not like food, and her interest in it is superficial, forced, and pretentious. I'm just as puzzled as her staff regarding her "vegetarianism": she eats eggs, yogurt, milk, cream, butter (the last 3 in whipped potatoes) and cheese (in risotto). She carries her vegetarian label as a badge of honor, when really she should call herself an ovo-lacto vegetarian, or, a convenient vegetarian. She talks to the reader condescendingly about fleur de sel, saffron, and caviar, but is grossed out by sea urchins and grasshoppers. She insults another food author whose memories were tied to truffles by saying, "Yes, he got all that from a stinky fungus." She thinks her husband is strange for needing to kill an animal for food, and only when she reads about Thomas Keller's experience in The French Laundry Cookbook does she feel relief. Yes, because Keller as soul searcher has a valid reason but not her husband. Ah.

Her comment about ethnic markets is what stopped me from reading this book: "I can't even imagine what it must be like to eat seaweed or bugs." She shows her ignorance and disrespect of food preferences. How terribly, terribly sad and ugly.

Please. Don't read this drivel. Find a better book about the restaurant experience, one that glorifies food, one that is true to vegetarianism, one that respects other cultures and ethnicities. And more: find a book that's actually engaging by an author who knows how to write.

[Daniela Hindman-williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's all true. As the wife of a chef and someone who worked in the industry for many, many years, I can attest to the truth of these pages. It did not get 5 stars because it read more like a dry- impersonal essay.

[melanie (lit*chick) · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's definitely a different perspective on the behind the scenes restaurant world. I gave it two stars because it was interesting. I wanted to give it one star because the author's tone seemed to be childish- whiny & complaining. When she made a mistake she blamed it on someone else. She resents her husband's talent and doesn't even eat his food (she's a vegetarian and seems to take pride in being so contrary).
Her job doesn't seem much different than that of a stay at home mom (overworked, underappreciated,little glory), except for the part where she doesn't seem to EVER love what she does. She is also very clear to point out that it's just a job.
I know several people with restaurants who have the gift of hospitality and really enjoy their work (grumpy, rude customers aside). She doesn't seem to be one of them.
I'd be curious to hear from anyone else who read it.

[Nytetyger · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wow, someone woke up, had a nice bracing PITCHER of Carnation Instant Bitch and decided SHE was going to tell everyone how hard life was being the woman behind the chef at a semi successful restaurant. She is smarter, more refined, works harder, and is just plain BETTER than everyone around her—it must be tiring dealing with us weaker mortals while she is on whatever caused her time away from Olympus, where OBVIOUSLY she belongs.

The sad part is that the information in the book was fascinating, once you ignored her pomposity. I had an interest in eating in her place, but after reading this, no thank you… I’m just… just not GOOD enough to be her customer.

[Mrs. Bun · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author is married to the chef of a restaurant we frequented when we lived in CT and I bought her book largely because of this. What an eye-opener to the world behind the scenes! She is a thoughtful writer, but blunt and honest about the good and bad of every aspect of owning a restaurant, which lends itself to a page turning book. It is clear she loves her husband, and he her, which is terrific, because the stress level described in running a restaurant together could clearly wear a relationship down. The only uncomfortable moments in the book for me are when she describes things like the cruelty of foie gras (in defense it seems of her own vegetarianism, not anything to do with the restaurant or her husband). There are a few moments like this, but overall the book is a real romp through the kitchen in all of its chaotic glory - and the diplomatic skills needed in the dining room with rude diners and surprise situations. Once you see the effort it takes to provide excellent service and food to the public you really understand the value (and appreciation by staff) of tipping generously.

[Nanaz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting. It gives you a real insider’s view on how hard the restaurant business can be. I liked the writer and all the characters in the book. It was well
written and I couldn’t put it down

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

2-3/4 stars

[Julie Davis · Rating 1 out of 5]

#65 - 2010.

I seem to remember having read this long ago. Just began it but if nothing else you will appreciate how very un-busy your life seems in comparison to that of a restaurant owner-chef. A standard behind-the-scenes in the restaurant business book. However, the frantic pace of the text covering one mishap and frantic problem after another serves to make one wonder how they remain in business or even married. I blame the editor for this as if the author had slowed down occasionally for some thoughtful pondering and appreciation of the positive aspects of this restaurant life then the readers would have been able to see she had more than one note. I understand why some reviewers thought she was angry and complaining all the time. I believe much of it is an attempt at self-deprecating humor with the eye of sharing all with the reader. However, it does not come off well and an entire book full of it is wearying.

[Tom Cain · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book. It wasn't very long (under 300 pages), but it gave an insiders view of the restaurant industry. If anyone thinks they can open a restaurant and make a pile of money in the first year; read this book. Courtney describes the long hours, the staff, the finances and the customers. Her view as owner/hostess/employee is probably the most honest of these type of books out there. I was shocked when I read that she and her husband lived in a rented apartment, because they could not afford to buy a house. The restaurant always came first. She writes in a manner describes the overview of the industry. And hers is a successful restaurant!
I emailed Courtney; telling her I enjoyed her book and promised to stop in and order a meal if I ever was in Connecticut. Surprisingly, she replied back within 24 hours thanking me! How cool is that! Reading this book will not be a disappointment. I recommend it.

[Rogue Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unusual treatment of both the front and back of the house, thanks to Courtney Febbroriello, wife of chef Chris Prosperi, and co-owner of Metro Bis in Salisbury, Connecticut. Seems impossible to balance the two, to bridge the two and to acknowledge that the celebrity chef will be center stage. It's clear that Febbroriello runs the restaurant, providing the structure, organization and financial know-how to keep the place running and seats filled. It's clear that Febbroriello and Prosperi are a team, in life and in work. A delight really to read and to think about. Always respectful, always loving, always honest. What a pleasing contrast to A Chef's Life, where Vivian is often rude and unkind to her husband.

Required reading for anyone in the industry, and those even considering a relationship with a food worker.

--Ashland Mystery

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Started off great - engaging, fast-paced - but started to lose steam shortly thereafter. There was no real structure or flow to the book, so while the anecdotes were interesting, it felt a bit aimless and disjointed. Also, the author focused almost exclusively on work; there were very few personal details shared, which really kept the story at an arm's length.

I did like the behind the scenes view from the more business-oriented side of the restaurant, since that's the author's main role. It was a new perspective for me and definitely made me appreciate how difficult operating a restaurant can be.

Overall, while it was an quick and fairly interesting read, it was ultimately forgettable.

[Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having worked in restaurants, and now doing private catering work, I have to admit that I love this book and I read it at least once a year. OK, some of the text is a bit awkward, and there's no real 'story', but the anecdotes are as true-to-life as any I've ever read. I keep hoping she'll write a second book so we can see how her life has changed over the years. Does she eat more widely now? Or is she still a gnocchi-and-cheese girl. Do they have more than one resto now? I love that she's the co-owner of a restaurant but isn't a foodie. Cuz it takes so much work to run a resto that being a foodie isn't nearly enough...

[Astrid · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this book if you always wonder how does it feel like to date/marry a chef, because this is an honest book from a point of view of a wife. There are some moments when she admire him, when she disappointed in him... When she loves her job.. when she was frustated..
Reading this book makes me feel like meeting Courtney over coffee and listening to her life story right infront of me.
It's an enjoyable read and VERY detail, definitely recommended as a fresher alternative from regular chef's story book.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

The writer, as the title states, is the wife of a chef of a bistro in Connecticut. She runs the office, works in the restaurant, manages the Express restaurant of the bistro, and handles their salad dressing business. In other words, she wears a lot of hats. I thought she had a great writing voice, addressing everything from restaurant employees to difficult customers. I didn't find her tone whiny at all, (as one reviewer described) just factual and articulate.

[Claire · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was bad. She managed to take what could be an interesting tale of the behind the scenes work of a restaurant, and make it boring. The author needs a better editor. Also throughout the book she gets very defensive about how her work is just as important as her husband's. I believe that, but her constant declarations and whines make me wonder if she believes it. Not good at all.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recently had lunch at the restaurant this author owns with her husband. It was lovely, and since I'm addicted to stories about what goes on behind the scenes at restaurants, I had to check out the book. Totally fascinating - I couldn't put it down! And confirmed for me once again that although I love to dine out and I love to cook, I could never, ever work in a restaurant.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok, I get it, I am marrying a chef. I am supposed to find this stuff really interesting...and the day to day is, just reading it isn't. Especially when it is mixed in with the occasional panic attack that if we open a restaurant this could be me!!!!

[Elizabeth M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Febbroriello offers terrific insight into what it is like to work in the restaurant business: all of the guts and the infrequent glory of it. An easy, amusing read that is almost too harmless in its depiction of the brutal restaurant business.

[Leigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting view of the world of dining. And from someone other than the chef's is fantastic. Cheers to the women who support the men in this insane business!

[Monya · Rating 2 out of 5]

she seems a bit angry about life, but it was an entertaining read.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

gained a little bit of insights, but mostly liked because is was shared experiences

[A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was pretty good. Owning a business is hard work and never able to do other things. You are always tied up in the business.

[Lynett Heritz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is so real...anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant will understand!
Anyone who thinks they want to own a restaurant because 'it would be fun' needs to read this!!!

[Ann DelVecchio · Rating 2 out of 5]

can't finish this one --just not that compelling

[Annette Warner]

Cute look into the life of a Chef Wife....but shes also part owner of the restaurant and was in it up to her neck. :)

[Meredith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although I found the tone to be not a little obnoxious, great capture of what it's really like to work in a restaurant - at least according to what I've been told by people in the know.

[Alex (and sons) Whatton · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting, eye-opening read, but I wouldn't read it again. I do hope I will be a better customer from now on!

[Emmalee · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the author of this book doesn't really like food, you can see what the day to day struggles of running a restaurant can be like.