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Una famiglia moderna

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«Ci stiamo lasciando»: tre brevi, semplici parole che innescano un terremoto. Quando i tre fratelli Liv, Ellen e Håkon arrivano a Roma insieme ai genitori per festeggiare il settantesimo compleanno del padre, tutto si aspettano tranne quello che sta per accadere: i genitori annunciano che hanno deciso di divorziare. Scioccati e increduli, i fratelli cercano di venire a patti con questa decisione che riecheggia nelle case e nelle famiglie che hanno a loro volta creato, e li costringe a ricostruire la narrazione condivisa della loro infanzia e della loro storia familiare ma soprattutto a rivedere la propria visione sui rapporti di coppia. Un romanzo agrodolce fatto di rimpianti, relazioni e intuizioni rare, che ci incoraggia a guardare un po' più attentamente le persone a noi più vicine e alla fine rivela che non è mai troppo tardi per cambiare.

300 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2017

168 people are currently reading
3847 people want to read

About the author

Helga Flatland

16 books355 followers
Helga Flatland har bachelorgrad i Nordisk språk og litteratur fra Universitetet i Oslo og har tatt treårig utdanning på tekstforfatterlinjen på Westerdals School of Communication. Hun debuterte med romanen "Bli hvis du kan. Reis hvis du må" (2010), som fikk overstrømmende kritikker. For denne ble hun tildelt Tarjei Vesaas' debutantpris, Ungdommens kritikerpris, Aschehougs debutantstipend, og hun ble nominert til P2-lytternes romanpris. Hun befestet sin posisjon med "Alle vil hjem. Ingen vil tilbake" (2011). "Det finnes ingen helhet" (2013) avslutter trilogien.
Helga Flatland regnes blant de fremste av unge norske fremadstormende forfattere. Hun har fått et stort publikum for måten hun beskriver menneskelige prosesser som sorg, tilknytning og oppbrudd på.

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5 stars
1,023 (18%)
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3 stars
1,453 (26%)
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60 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 507 reviews
Profile Image for zuza_zaksiazkowane.
600 reviews46.5k followers
December 21, 2020
3.7 Historia stojąca w stu procentach na bohaterach. Fabuła, mimo tego że jakieś jej szczątki tu są, kompletnie nie są ważne. Ważne są postacie, ich charaktery i to, jak się zmieniają na przestrzeni lat i doświadczeń. Dużo ironii, dużo błyskotliwości i dobrego pióra.
Niestety, pierwsza połowa była dla mnie męczarnią. Rozdziały pisane z perspektywy Liv frustrowały mnie do granic możliwości, pewnie dlatego, że jej myślenie jest tak odległe od mojego, że nie mogłam się na niczym innym skupić jak tylko na krzyczeniu na nią w myślach, żeby się wzięła w garść i spojrzała dalej. Podejrzewam to za celowy zabieg, który zresztą doceniam, obniżył jednak okrutnie mój zapał do tej książki. Ale druga połowa, moim zdaniem, jest naprawdę bardzo dobra. Jestem pod wrażeniem i polecam.
Profile Image for Nastja .
332 reviews1,544 followers
January 22, 2021
В одной норвежской семье люди разобрались со всеми своими проблемами без группового изнасилования.
Profile Image for Bianca.
1,317 reviews1,146 followers
January 15, 2021
There's no such thing as a perfect family as there are no perfect people.
A Modern Family looks at what we think we know, what we show others and what others perceive, and that, ultimately, we never truly know anyone. Distressingly, we don't even know the closest people to us.

When a septuagenarian couple, married for over forty years, decides to divorce, their three adult children take the news quite differently. Their lives and what they thought they knew and experienced come into question. Was it all make-believe? Were their memories reliable? Their parents' divorce makes them look at their own separate lives, their relationships to their partners, to each other.

The characters ask questions regarding freedom, romantic love, societal expectations vs personal freedom - but is there such a thing as "freedom" when we are social animals. As they say, no (wo)man is an island.

This was an interesting novel, easily digestible but also very current and relatable.
Profile Image for Kuszma.
2,849 reviews286 followers
June 14, 2022
Ideálisnak tűnő norvég család majdnem ideális római nyaralását váratlan esemény szemeteli össze: a nagyszülők bejelentik, hogy el fognak válni. Kifordul erre a fésűskagylós spagetti a gyermekek szájából - hát milyen dolog ez? Hetvenévesen akarnak új életet kezdeni? Akkor, amikor az egyetlen legális nagyszülői cél az kéne legyen, hogy elégedetten szemlélik az unokák cseperedését? Most komolyan, miért nem tudnak békén elmúlni, mint minden nagyszülő?

Családi kamaradráma arról, hogy egy stabilnak hitt minta megkérdőjeleződése milyen válságokhoz vezet. Flatland a három felnőtt gyermek (1 db gyakorló anya, 1 db nem-anya, aki viszont anya akar lenni, ill. 1 db mamakedvence fiú) nézőpontjából interpretálja az eseményeket - az a tény, hogy a szülők nem kapnak szót, fontos jelentéssel bír. Mert igazából nem is az az érdekes, a nagyszülők mit éreznek. Az a benyomásunk, ez gyermekeiket is korlátozottan foglalkoztatja. Leragadnak annál, ahogy a válás az ő életükre hat - megrengeti a biztosnak hitt alapokat, azt a gondolatot, hogy apa és anya egyetlen egység, egyfajta társas identitás autonóm vágyak nélkül. A szülői szempontok megjelenítésének hiánya azonban hordoz még egy üzenetet: nem az a lényeg, meg tudjuk-e érteni a váláshoz vezető okokat. A lényeg az, hogy el tudjuk-e fogadni a döntést.

Elképzelhető, hogy ezt a regényt egyesek az "irigylem a problémáitokat" lanyha érzetével olvassák majd. Mert milyen jó is az, egyeseknek nem azzal kell foglalkozni, hogy kétszer annyiba kerül a tészta, vagy megszaladt a törlesztőrészlet, hanem pöröghetnek azon, ahogy az ősök életvégi válsága saját életközepi válságukká alakul. De pont ez lenne a cél, nem? Hogy ne kelljen leragadni azoknál a problémáknál, amelyek a Maslow-piramis alsó részébe zárnak minket. Hogy legyen kapacitásunk az emberibb ügyekre: a kapcsolatainkra. Flatland szereplői nem tökéletesek: hibáznak, butaságokat csinálnak - de mégis, van erejük reflektálni saját döntéseikre, képesek változtatni magukon. Ezért lehetséges, hogy az életükre ható személyközi konfliktusok nem tragédiákká fejlődnek, hanem "csak" válságokká. Mert a válság egyben lehetőség is a változásra. Olyasmi, amiből tanulni lehet.
Profile Image for Olga Kowalska (WielkiBuk).
1,694 reviews2,908 followers
May 15, 2019
Porywający portret rodzinny, w którym niby nie dzieje się nic, a dzieje się wszystko – „Współczesna rodzina” Helgi Flatland jak u Hitchcocka wybija z rytmu, by przyciągnąć czytelnika wnikliwym upadkiem struktury rodzinnej.

Helga Flatland w genialny sposób ukazuje zmiany jakie zachodzą w jej bohaterach, dla których rozwód rodziców staje się wielką, nieoczywistą traumą. Nagle ich wiara w jednostkę rodzinną zostaje zdruzgotana – rodzeństwo nie potrafi rozmawiać z rodzicami, a dotąd sobie tak bliskie, nagle nie potrafi porozumieć się również ze sobą nawzajem. W tak oczywistej sytuacji kryzysu najbardziej potrzebują wsparcia, bo ich osobiste problemy piętrzą się i przygniatają, a oni nie potrafią się pozbierać, każde na swój własny sposób. Liv roztrząsa przeszłość i doszukuje się pierwszych jaskółek rozwodu w sytuacjach sprzed lat. Ellen ponosi porażkę za porażką, obwinia się i załamuje. Hakon zdaje się nieporuszony, ale nawet ten młody mężczyzna okazuje się być naznaczony traumą rozstania rodziców.

We „Współczesnej rodzinie” nie znajdziecie pędzącej akcji, ale w zamian Heldze Flatland udało się stworzyć tak fascynujące portrety, że każdą kolejną stronę czyta się z zapartym tchem i rosnącym napięciem. Jej bohaterowie walczą sami ze sobą, unikają konfrontacji z rzeczywistością, ale ta rzeczywistość torpeduje ich na każdym kroku i ani oni, ani my nie możemy odwrócić wzroku. Podglądamy życie innych ludzi, jak przez lupę, z bardzo bliska, dostrzegając mniejsze i większe podobieństwa. To proza czuła, wnikliwa, bardzo na tu i teraz, bardzo współczesna. Niby nic się nie dzieje, a jak to w życiu – dzieje się wszystko. Robi olbrzymie wrażenie.

Z Serią Dzieł Pisarzy Skandynawskich nie można się pomylić, dlatego też we „Współczesnej rodzinie” pozostaje jedynie się zanurzyć i zachwycić.
Profile Image for Tanja Berg.
2,279 reviews568 followers
April 23, 2018
What happens when a couple decides to end their 40-year marriage? Not so much to them, but to their grown children. The book varies between the perspectives of the children - Liv, Ellen and Håkon. I went into this without much expectation, but within a few pages I was struck by the family dynamics. There were so many similarities between this family and my own that I found myself smiling with recognition. My parents are still together, but still, this was often funny and poignant because so many things were familiar. I enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would.
Profile Image for Talkincloud.
291 reviews4,239 followers
April 11, 2019
Świetnie zarysowane portrety psychologiczne postaci. Dojrzałe podejście do tematu budowania i podtrzymywania relacji we współczesnym świecie przesyconym spektrum związkowych możliwości - bardzo dobre ukazanie ciężaru podejmowanych przez bohaterów i ich rodziców decyzji. Można tutaj znaleźć mnóstwo odniesień do aktualnego egzystowania w społeczeństwie, gdzie pojęcie rodziny bywa względne i porównywać tę historię do swojej własnej. Książka dla dojrzałych, wprawionych czytelników pragnących tematów do rozważenia i opowieści na pierwszy rzut oka niezobowiązującej, ale skrycie angażującej.
Profile Image for hopeforbooks.
572 reviews207 followers
March 24, 2023
We „Współczesnej rodzinie” Helgi Flatland (tł. Karolina Drozdowska) poznajemy historię z perspektywy trójki dorosłego już rodzeństwa. Ich rodzice postanowili się rozwieść w wieku 70 lat. Rodzeństwo próbuje się odnaleźć w nowej sytuacji, jest to dla nich okazja, aby przewartościować wiele spraw w swoim życiu. Lubię czytać o skomplikowanych relacjach międzyludzkich, więc „Współczesna rodzina” była dla mnie interesującą lekturą, choć momentami mnie nużyła.
Profile Image for Trish at Between My Lines.
1,138 reviews332 followers
July 23, 2023
What initially drew me to this book was that I love Nordic Noir, so the idea of exploring modern family life via an Norwegian author really appealed to me. The dark, moody, and morally complex feel of Nordic Noir shoved its head up a few times in this book. Mostly when I least expected it, and I loved the unsettled thoughts that the characters pondered over. But it also spilled over with humour, and emotion as well as the darker elements. It felt like life, where your mood jumps around from hour to hour.

When the parents of Liv, Ellen, and Håkon decide to divorce, even though they are all adults and living lives completely independent of their parents, this shatters through their existences. They have grown up hearing how important it was to see things through and now their parents are pulling back on that, and it pulls the rug out from under their belief systems.

They are re-examining their lives, and as the hierarchy of positions in their family changes, they all have to change along with that. Their current relationships are also thrown into turmoil, while they deal with the fallout. All three characters are so well developed and nuanced that I loved spending time with them. Actually I’d love to sit down and have an open, honest discussion with them and hear firsthand their intriguing theories on life and love and family. And thinking about it, that’s what reading it felt like.

This novel has convinced me that if Helga Flatland is representative of Norwegian authors, then I need to jam pack my bookshelves with their books.

Who should read A Modern Family by Helga Flatland?

I’d strong recommend this book if you love nuanced characters, deep dive explorations into family life and provocative thoughts to ponder over. Fans of authors such as Celeste Ng, Louise Beech and Anne Tyler may also enjoy.

Thanks to Orenda Books for letting me participate in this blog tour, and for giving me the book for review consideration. As always, no matter what the source of the book, you get my honest, unbiased opinion.
Profile Image for lise.charmel.
524 reviews194 followers
October 12, 2023
E' davvero una famiglia moderna quella che ci presenta Helga Flatland nel suo romanzo?
In realtà sembra che il divorzio dei genitori ormai 70enni mandi a catafascio le vite dei figli, ormai adulti e con una famiglia propria. Liv, incapace di schiodarsi dall'idea che la famiglia sia qualcosa per cui sforzarsi e tenere duro invece di qualcosa che dovrebbe renderci più felici. Ellen, che cerca di avere un figlio senza risultati e che comincia a vedere se stessa come un inutile utero vuoto (anche all'interno della propria relazione, che dovrebbe essere qualcosa di più di un nucleo riproduttivo). Haikon, che rifugge la monogamia eppure fa di tutto per tenere insieme quel che resta di una famiglia apparentemente sbriciolata.
Il romanzo è raccontato in maniera corale, prevalentemente dalle due sorelle, ma dando voce ad Haikon nelle ultime pagine e racconta una storia qualunque, ma scandagliando a fondo i sentimenti e soprattutto le presunte idee che gli altri si fanno di noi e le presunte idee che noi ci facciamo degli altri. Tutti i narratori di questa storia sono inaffidabili, perché inaffidabili sono le loro (ma anche le nostre) percezioni e i loro ricordi.
Se proprio devo fare un appunto, a volte un po' troppo "spiegone", però l'ho letto volentieri e con trasporto in pochissimi giorni.
Profile Image for emilka.
71 reviews1 follower
August 8, 2023
to była TAK dobra książka. bardzo wyjątkowa, i wciągająca i dająca do myślenia. prawdziwie i moim zdaniem pięknie pokazywała relacje jakie się tworzą w rodzinie, między rodzeństwem. bohaterowie byli ludźmi z krwi i kości o których serio chciało się czytać. bardzo polecam
Profile Image for Eva.
957 reviews530 followers
June 12, 2019
This novel is the perfect example of why I love doing blog tours as much as I do. It isn’t exactly the type of book I’d normally go for. In fact, I was rather worried it wouldn’t be my thing at all. But Orenda Books has never let me down before and as I have the utmost faith in their books, I decided to go for it. Didn’t regret it for a second!

On a trip to Italy to celebrate their father’s 70th birthday, Liv, Ellen and Håkon’s lives are thrown into turmoil when their parents reveal their decision to get divorced. Each must now come to terms with the changes that will bring.

I didn’t particularly like any of these characters. Yet the feelings they are struggling with were immensely relatable. It’s easy to forget sometimes that your parents are just people too, with their own thoughts, opinions and feelings. How well do we ever really know our parents and the life they lead when we aren’t around? Just because they don’t argue in front of us, doesn’t mean they don’t argue in private, for instance. Watching the siblings struggle with their parents’ divorce made sense. In effect, it is a safety net that has vanished and for Liv especially, who tried to model her own marriage after her parents, things fall apart rather quickly. If her parents can’t make their marriage last, how can she?

A Modern Family is a beautifully written story about relationships and the shifting of family dynamics. It delves deep into the psychology of these characters and shows remarkable insight as the characters start to analyse, not only themselves, but also those closest to them. I often found myself nodding at some of the things that were said and you just can’t help reading this and subsequently put your own family under a magnifying glass. With complex characters and issues, this beautifully written story soon became utterly immersive and that is no mean feat when you realise there are no bells and whistles, no twists and turns, but just everyday people dealing with everyday problems.

A Modern Family surprised me in the best way possible. Moving, powerful, thought-provoking and immensely absorbing, it paints a wonderful and realistic picture of a family going through the ups and downs of modern life.
Profile Image for Federica Rampi.
701 reviews230 followers
September 11, 2023
"Devi imparare a rassegnarti a non avere sempre il controllo di ogni cosa”.

Quando i fratelli Liv, Ellen e Håkon arrivano a Roma con i loro compagni e figli per festeggiare il settantesimo compleanno del padre, non si aspettano che i loro genitori Torill e Sverre annuncino di volersi separare dopo quarant’anni di matrimonio.
In una famiglia benestante in cui tutti hanno tutti un buon lavoro, è impensabile che gli equilibri si rompano. Eppure…

I tre figli adulti vanno in crisi e a turno nell’arco di due anni dalla "notizia " racconteranno il prima e il dopo questa separazione.

Una Famiglia Moderna è l’occasione per l’autrice di affrontare quei temi che ruotano attorno alle dinamiche familiari : il ruolo dei fratelli, le libertà individuali, l'educazione ricevuta e quella data che dipendono, senza che ce ne rendiamo conto, dal luogo e dal tempo in cui si vive

Helga Flatland non offre uno spaccato della cultura norvegese perché è più interessata alla geografia interiore, a ciò che passa nella testa dei suoi personaggi in cui immancabilmente ci si identifica anche solo per un breve tragitto

Il divorzio è un evento silenziosamente devastante il cui impatto si fa sentire nei momenti in cui Sverre ha lasciato la casa di famiglia, rimasta orfana dei suoi piccoli oggetti che non sono più al loro posto (le pantofole, il suo spazzolino da denti)

Sconvolti e increduli, questi figli cercano di venire a patti con la decisione dei genitori che li costringe a ricostruire la narrativa della loro infanzia e della storia familiare.

“I nostri genitori si separano, ma noi siamo sempre noi”

Un romanzo agrodolce fatto di rimpianti, relazioni e intuizioni.
Helga Flatland ha una bella scrittura, la trama scorre anche con qualche tocco di umorismo ed è ben interpretata dalla voce di Marzia Dal Fabbro nella versione Audible

Unico mio rammarico, nel romanzo la grande assente è la Norvegia; se non fosse stato per i nomi dei personaggi, il romanzo avrebbe potuto essere ambientato ovunque. Peccato

Una Famiglia Moderna incoraggia a guardare le persone vicine a noi con più attenzione e a non dare e non darsi per scontati
Ma soprattutto che non è mai troppo tardi per il cambiare
Profile Image for Giorgia Legge Tanto.
418 reviews14 followers
August 31, 2022
E' il racconto di una famiglia norvegese, due genitori e tre figli (oramai ampiamente adulti) che vanno in vacanza a Roma. Durante il festeggiamento del 70esimo compleanno del padre, i genitori annunciano ai figli la loro separazione. Così Liv, Ellen e Hakon, rimangono scioccati e, oltre a metabolizzare questa notizia, devono venire a patti con la loro idea di relazione di coppia. Racconto fatto dal punto di vista di ognuno dei figli, questo romanzo che incoraggia a vedere le cose da più punti di vista, perché non è mai troppo tardi per cambiare. Bellissimo!
Profile Image for Aleksandra Pasek .
187 reviews289 followers
February 23, 2021
3,5 ;)
nieco nudnawa powieść, która nie wnosi niestety nic nowego. Niecały miesiąc po jej przeczytaniu nic mi z niej w głowie nie zostało. Dobrze i szybko się to czyta, znajdzie się tam kilka trafnych obserwacji na temat rodziny, ale chyba warto w tym czasie przeczytać coś innego.
Profile Image for Isidora.
284 reviews111 followers
September 11, 2018
Ett familjedrama. Torill och Sverre bestämmer sig för att skilja sig efter fyrtio år tillsammans. Deras tre vuxna barn berättar om hur det gick för dem efter skilsmässan, hur deras värld ändrades och byggdes på nytt.
Vi får höra derras röster i skiftande kapitlen, och det är otroligt bra skrivet, genomtänkt men inte det minsta krystat. Helga Flatland har en stor talang och jag kommer att följa hennes skapande framöver.
Jag tyckte mycket om boken från början och längtade efter de stunder jag kunde få läsa. Och det slår mig att det är faktiskt ett tag sedan jag kände så. Bara för det borde boken få ett bra betyg.
Profile Image for La Libridinosa.
605 reviews239 followers
August 22, 2022
3 stelle e mezzo

Tante riflessioni scaturiscono dalla lettura di questo romanzo, nel quale l'autrice ci racconta il tormento di tre figli adulti di fronte al divorzio dei genitori.

Personaggi che si fanno detestare dall' prima all'ultima pagina. Qualche termine desueto che mi ha fatto storcere il muso, i classici luoghi comuni sugli italiani, rendono questo romanzo godibile, ma profondamente imperfetto.

#lamiafascetta Carne e pesce nello stesso pasto. Eretici!

La recensione completa nel blog
Profile Image for Cathy.
1,449 reviews344 followers
June 26, 2019
The announcement during a family celebration that their parents are to divorce after decades of marriage is not in itself the event that drives the story so much as their grown-up children's varying reactions to this unexpected change. Described in the blurb as an 'earthquake', it does indeed cast light on fractures and stress points in other relationships - between the siblings and between them and their respective partners. An equally apt analogy is Liv's observation that their decision 'has seen consequences great and small rippling across the landscape between them like waves'.

Told from the point of view of the three children - Liv, Ellen and latterly Hakon - their responses are shaped by their different experiences, whether that's their current domestic situation, their 'position' in the family hierarchy or their perception of the level of attention they received from their parents growing up. Their reactions run the full gamut of emotions: surprise, disappointment, a sense of rejection, disbelief. What one sibling sees as an unwelcome (and possibly selfish) disturbance in their life another sees as confirmation of a pre-existing belief in the nature of relationships.

The author's spare, precise prose shines through in Rosie Hedger's translation. Although the book includes aspects of Norwegian culture - a passion for outdoor activities, holidays spent in summer cabins - there's nothing that would stop any reader, whatever their heritage, from identifying with the situations in which the characters find themselves.

The author skilfully explores family dynamics, including the customs, rituals and traditions that become embedded over time. For example, that each person takes their accustomed place at the table during family gatherings or that birthdays always mean pancakes for breakfast.

I also liked the structure of the book with the different viewpoints (sometimes of the same event) and that the ending had echoes of the beginning. However, I did find the characters rather self-absorbed - although I guess we all are if we're honest. Having said that, I admired the skilful writing and the insightful exploration of family dynamics and what sustains (or doesn't sustain) relationships.
Profile Image for Magdalena.
98 reviews2 followers
September 7, 2024
Niesamowita powieść, z jednej strony tak prosta, z drugiej tak złożona. Nie dzieje się tu nic, a jednocześnie wydarza tak wiele.

Przytłaczająca perspektywa Liv, perspektywa Ellen, wyrażająca moje największe obawy i w końcu perspektywa Håkona, która pokazuje jak wiele rzeczy w życiu ma znaczenia i jakie role przybieramy a potem odgrywamy przez resztę życia, złożyły się na jedną z ważniejszych historii jakie poznałam.
Profile Image for Tripfiction.
2,045 reviews216 followers
April 14, 2019
5 * NORWAY.... a family in crisis



This is very much a contemporary story of family built around three generations. The opening is set in Rome and then in the Italian countryside where the family members are preparing to celebrate Sverre’s 70th birthday. He is the patriarch of the family. His wife Torill and the matriarch is preparing the festive food, spurning any help. Their three children are present – Liv with Olav, Ellen with Simen and Håkon who has not brought a partner.

The storyline is very much a study of acquired positions and roles that each individual takes (and is unconsciously given) within a family unit – the critical one, someone who is different, adaptive, controlling or acquiescent. Each family member has a critical position in maintaining the family status quo. The two partners (the newbies in the family as it were) have to find their own role in the enmeshed and practised dynamics. Every family in the world is a unique construct and it is fascinating to be an onlooker as this family breaks, changes, adapts and has to reform.

The bombshell in Italy is dropped that Sverre and Torill – the aged parents – are making a life changing decision. They have had time to decide and manage how they wish to present their fait accompli to the wider family members, and a shock to everyone else present.

The ripple effect of their announcement, which seeps through the souls of their children and grandchildren follows the well-trodden path of a typical shock-response – each individual starts to evaluate what being in a couple relationship means. Olav and Liv have two children and Liv is the oldest sibling and hers is the role to keep everything together; their eldest child has a very specific reaction to the news. Ellen and Simen (Ellen is the middle child) are struggling with fertility problems which continue to exert phenomenal pressure on the couple relationship as they come to terms with the parents’ news. And baby of the family is Håkon, who was born with a hole in his heart and has therefore always had a ‘special’ place in the family. He is quite happily, it seems, doing his own thing when it comes to societal norms and couple relationships.

The author unpicks the fall out from the news with precision and intelligence. She examines how the family members grapple with how they are expected to behave and what this fracturing means, reflecting on what family actually means. The author has quite an intense and dense writing style which invites the reader to thoroughly engage with the words and savour the sentence construction. Words have clearly been carefully put together (credit also to the translator for making the style extremely readable in English). As a reader one can almost feel like a voyeur… looking in on this family grappling to understand the fall out and finding ways to look into the future.

The author has been dubbed the Norwegian Anne Tyler and in this portrayal of family there is hint of Ingmar Bergman. An arresting and interesting read.

Setting isn’t particularly strong in terms of TripFiction.
Profile Image for Nora Hoel.
15 reviews16 followers
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June 19, 2017
Jeg liker godt hvordan vi blir kjent med de tre hovedpersonene gjennom hvordan de betrakter hverandre. Det er en godt konstruert historie. Jeg liker karakterene Flatland skriver frem, i all sin menneskelige umiddelbarhet. Usjarmerende og gjenkjennelig.
Jeg anser dette som En av Helga Flatland sine fremste styrker som forfatter, å skrive frem levende portrett av vanlige mennesker med både styrker og lyter.
Profile Image for Janne Bjørgan.
95 reviews24 followers
August 1, 2017
Kort oppsummert: Noen svakheter mot slutten, men Flatland er så knallgod på det nære - de rare tankene vi har og de usynlige mønstrene mellom mennesker - at det veier opp for det. Les denne i høst!

Lengre anmeldelse på www.spindelvev.wordpress.com ;)
Profile Image for teresariveera.
17 reviews379 followers
October 7, 2024
9,5
Me ha encantado. Me ha parecido muy peculiar la forma en la que los hermanos narran los mismos sucesos desde diferentes puntos de vista.
Profile Image for Chłopaki Czytają.
342 reviews125 followers
December 28, 2021
Uwielbiam takie powieści o rodzinie i relacjach, podane w skandynawski sposób. Tym razem też się nie zawiodłem. Mocne 4.
Profile Image for Petra Jovanović.
160 reviews109 followers
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September 21, 2025
odlična je ova knjiga. veliki pomak u odnosu na roman prvenac. kvalitetna studija međuljudskih odnosa. jedino mi je kraj bio malo mlak i nedovršen.
Profile Image for Barbara.
1,084 reviews152 followers
December 8, 2020
I listened to this in English, Narrated by Nina Yndis.

I just finished this audiobook this morning, having taken several commutes to work to get through it. At the end, I just felt a bit like I could probably have done something better with my time and that two weeks from now, I probably will have completely forgotten it.

The book reminds me of Anne Tyler when she's not at her best. It's a sprawling exploration of how a family reacts when the parents announce, at the father's 70th birthday party, that they're getting a divorce.

The two daughters and one son then indulge in some extreme 'feeling sorry for themselves' in a manner that's deeply irritating. The eldest daughter's own marriage is in a bit of rut, the second daughter is struggling to conceive with her partner, and the son is testing the limits of his own (lack of) commitment to 'free love'.

None of them is very nice.
It's hard to actually care very much.

On the plus side, the narrator's accent is absolutely charming but it's far too often clear that she doesn't actually know what she's reading as some of the mispronunciation is absolutely hilarious.

But on the whole, it's a dull book about not very nice people dealing with a family breakdown by talking to us far too much.

It reminds me of a very old joke: "Did you hear about the couple in their 90s who got a divorce? Apparently,they were waiting until all the children were dead!"

Would have saved a lot of bitching and moaning.
Profile Image for Marianne Barron.
1,046 reviews45 followers
September 20, 2017
Er en moderne familie en familie hvor absolutt alle sliter med kjærligheten? Hvor besteforeldre skiller seg, søstre sliter med og uten menn og bror som vil leve i åpent forhold, men som plutselig føler på tvers av egen overbevisning? Ja kanskje det. Eller kanskje dette bare er en helt normal familie, i moderne tider sett fra mitt eget ståsted? Flatland har innsikt, humor, medrivende språk og en familie som kanskje ikke er så uvanlig likevel? Tankevekkende uansett, og kommer høyt opp på listene.
Profile Image for Rossella De Feudis .
77 reviews17 followers
August 30, 2025
Ho letto con coinvolgimento questo romanzo. La bravura di Helga Flatland è quella di saper narrare con un realismo psicologico minuzioso, un’attenzione al dialogo, la capacità di trovare il dramma nel quotidiano. Siamo lontani dalla grande narrazione epica, dal romanzo-mondo che abbraccia popoli e secoli: ciò che le interessa è il microcosmo familiare, osservato con precisione quasi clinica. Un’autopsia domestica, ma senza anestesia: Flatland vuole che tu senta il rumore dei piatti sul tavolo, la sedia che stride, la mano che si ritira all’ultimo momento.
La scena madre del libro – il settantesimo compleanno del capofamiglia che diventa teatro dell’annuncio: “Abbiamo deciso di separarci” – è un piccolo capolavoro di tensione. Non parliamo di una giovane coppia che si separa a venticinque anni, con il divano IKEA ancora in garanzia: qui a implodere è un matrimonio lungo quarant’anni, con tutto l’immaginario della vecchiaia condivisa – coperta di pile sulle gambe, giardinaggio, partite di burraco– che va in frantumi. Flatland prende questa cena, con la tovaglia inamidata e il servizio di ceramica tirato fuori dalle vetrinette, e la trasforma in un teatro di guerra emotiva.
Ma non c’è niente di urlato: il dramma nasce dai silenzi, dai piatti appoggiati troppo forte, dalle risate spezzate. Un terremoto domestico servito freddo.
Il meccanismo narrativo dell’alternanza dei tre figli è decisivo: ciascuno offre uno sguardo diverso, un modo personale di misurarsi con la memoria e con il pozzo profondo dei non detti e che permette di osservare la famiglia da più angolazioni.
Da Liv, la primogenita, emerge un tema centrale: l’indipendenza emotiva. La separazione dei genitori è percepita come un crollo della sua rete di sicurezza. È interessante pensare che siamo in Norvegia, terra che nell’immaginario mediterraneo rappresenta autonomia precoce e indipendenza. Eppure Flatland ci mostra che la dipendenza emotiva non conosce latitudini: può stringere ugualmente a Oslo o a Palermo.
La separazione dei genitori diventa il pretesto per esplorare i microcosmi emotivi, le relazioni interpersonali, la pressione invisibile esercitata dai legami familiari.
Flatland mantiene costantemente una temperatura media-bassa che impedisce l’esplosione melodrammatica. È la cifra di una narrativa che si basa più sulla tensione sotterranea che sulla deflagrazione. Qui non conta tanto l’emozione detta, quanto quella che trapela dal suo soffocamento. La sua scrittura lavora come un sistema di contenimento: più che il grido, interessa la vibrazione che rimane sospesa nell’aria dopo che il grido è stato inghiottito.
Si affacciano alla mente i grandi clan della narrativa: i Glass di Salinger, i Malavoglia di Verga, i Buendía di García Márquez, o le famiglie monumentali della narrativa americana contemporanea, da Franzen a Yates. Ogni volta lo stesso spettacolo: la famiglia come organismo vivo, bestia a più teste che ti cresce dentro, ti scava, ti tiene in ostaggio. Guardare in quel pozzo di segrete emozioni è doloroso e complicato; forse per questo ci affacciamo come lettori con la copertina di un libro a fare da scudo.
In definitiva, Una famiglia moderna non è un romanzo che ti folgora, ma ti accompagna dentro la vita di persone comuni, le loro piccole e grandi tragedie, le responsabilità dei figli e i limiti dei genitori.
Quello che Flatland non dice ma aleggia su ogni pagina è che una separazione non è solo un matrimonio che finisce ma una intera mitologia privata che implode.
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