Solid 4.5 ⭐
When your past is the key to your future, you can’t close that door anymore
Quinn McKinley seems to have all she has ever wanted in life: a steady and successful job, as a real estate agent in New York City, and money with anything that the latter can buy, such as expensive vacations, wines, furniture and so on. Quinn would never consider herself as a lonely person, more like someone who chose to be alone and is happy with it. Everything seems so calculated and controlled in her mind, but what she hasn’t really thought about is that, with all her running from one place to another, dealing with clients everyday and working overtime even at weekends, she has left little time to stop and really look at herself in the mirror and evaluate if what she sees reflected in the mirror is really herself. Her world will crumble piece to piece, when her boss assigns to her an important deal: helping a client buy a house in Kingsford, two hours’ drive from NYC. There’s only one problem: the house belonging to the Kent family, whom she knows very well, having been raised in Kingsford, a city she left 17 years ago for many reasons, leaving behind her teenage sister, her mother, and her long-time best friend Sawyer Kent. What happens after she steps in the city is something she would have never dared to dream.
This is the first book I’ve read by Monica McCallan and the reason why I chose it, it’s because immediately after the release, Twitter literally exploded with messages from other indie authors and even directors about it. I was so intrigued, because I didn’t know her, but the title itself draw me like catnip does to cats. So, this is a big thank you to all the people tweeting about it, the power of spreading the word.
I loved how Quinn and Sawyer complement each other in ways they didn’t even think it was possible, and I liked how the book deals with dilemmas that many of us have encountered in our lives: running away from what hurts you, finding who you really are, being able to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself, take a chance in life, take a leap of faith, forgive, forget, say the words you always wanted to say, in a way: Carpe Diem. If you get a chance at being truly happy, even if this would destroy who you are at the present, don’t turn away, don’t close that door. Embrace your insecurities and let someone finally take care of you. There’s no weakness or shame in sharing the burden of your life with someone who loves you unconditionally. You only need to give them the chance to do it.
I can relate a bit to Quinn, running away from a family situation that was starting to impact her true essence. Sometimes running away is the only solution to survive, to protect yourself from a domino effect. You can be sucked in and go down a dark spiral too. You carry a weight that fills you with anger, anger at the others and anger at yourself because you want selfishly to be happy. And all that hurt starts building up walls around you and you feel safe behind those walls. The only downside is that you also feel the loneliest person in this world, with no one to rely on. I literally melted when Quinn started to show her funny and flirty side, letting go of control and expectations. And I so much loved that the only person who could let her do that was Sawyer, such a sweet, geeky, dorky, clumsy, lovable, and caring character. Sawyer, on the other side, is the best friend that anyone could ever hope to find. Always there for you, no matter what, to the point she’d rather put other people’s happiness above hers. I fell in love with how she relates more with ancient machines rather than with people. Machines are straightforward, you know where each piece goes, while people are unpredictable and cannot be controlled.
I think the themes I liked the most of Back in Your Arms are the one of “Change” (If one day you realize you are not living a life that fulfils you, you need to do something about it. You need to change, and change is one of the scariest things people can do. But change is easier when you change together with the one you love, when you meet each other halfway. You take that jump and trust that things will be okay); and the recurrent theme of “Not being enough, not being worthy of someone” (it’s funny how sometimes we can underestimate ourselves so much, that we absolutely have no idea what the others see in us. How broken you might be, how hurt you might be, how apparently cold you might be, there will be always someone who can see right through you and sweep away all your insecurities. In Back in Your Arms these revelations are simply so heartfelt and beautiful to read. You’ll just end up sighing from so much love and romanticism.
Back in Your Arms is a plunge into the past, getting lost in the eyes of the one you never forgot, the one you thought got away, whose eyes are your home. It’s a fight to claim what you always wanted to be yours and only yours.
The only thing I may have wanted to see more of, was closure with Quinn's mother. I feel like she didn't have the chance to explain what happened to her, so the judgment on her character comes only from Quinn's eyes. But I adored Kelly, Ella and Luna and Belinda. I won't even mention the other Kent, as he doesn't deserve it!