The Road to After

by Rebekah Lowell

This poignant debut novel in verse is a portrait of healing, as a young girl rediscovers life and the soothing power of nature after being freed from her abusive father. For most of her life, Lacey has been a prisoner without even realizing it. Her dad rarely let her, her little sister, or her mama out of his sight. But their situation changes suddenly and dramatically the day her grandparents arrive to help them leave. It’s the beginning of a different kind of life for Lacey, and at first she has a hard time letting go of her dad’s rules. Gradually though, his hold on her lessens, and her days become filled with choices she’s never had before. Now Lacey can take pleasure in sketching the world as she sees it in her nature journal. And as she spends more time outside making things grow and creating good memories with family and friends, she feels her world opening up and blossoming into something new and exciting. 

Genres: Middle Grade, Poetry, Realistic Fiction, Abuse, Novel In Verse, Family, Mental Health

192 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2022

Reviews

[Mariella Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful but heartbreaking. The Road to After is a novel in verse about a girl and her mother and sister who are rescued from a domestic abuse situation and their road to "recovery." There are lovely themes and imagery connecting our growth and cultivation as people with gardening. And it covers important topics and themes as well--one of the important ones being how sometimes memories and reactions to the things of BEFORE can come at any time and sometimes unexpectedly and that regression is okay, the journey itself is always a process of moving forward and backward, but we're still growing and becoming. This story presented heartfelt moments that took me back to pieces of my own childhood and that of others I grew up with--or having worked with children coming out of situations like this--and while it's probably not something I could bring myself to read again, it's something that I'm glad I found. The Road to After is gentle, moving, and profound.

[Destiney Samare · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.75*
I wish this book had been out when I was younger, it would have helped me understand so much more. Rebekah Lowell is the kindest and most genuine soul and this book details so much of the things I went through. I am glad she is bringing awareness to the lives that many children and families live every single day. Beautifully written and a quick read.

[Kip · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a heartfelt story with beautifully-written verse. I hope the trauma these girls and their mom escape inspires readers to find their own roads to better futures.

[Law · Rating 4 out of 5]

Representation: N/A
Trigger warnings: Animal death, grief and loss depiction, implied PTSD and imprisonment of a father, child abuse
Score: Seven points out of ten.

I never heard of this one till now. It was difficult to get a hold of The Road to After since no libraries I know of had a physical edition of this book. However, one library had an eBook edition of this, so I immediately wanted to pick it up. I glanced at the blurb, making it seem like a heavy, yet intriguing read. When I closed the final page of The Road to After, it was enjoyable.

It starts with the first character I see, Lacey, who has to escape her home after her grandparents arrived to pluck her from her abusive father. She and her mother go to a new, yet temporary place to live in called Caring Unlimited, where people can try their best to recover from their traumas. The opening pages feature Lacey and her mother staying at that location, but Lacey still remembers the trauma she had to experience living with her father. It's almost like she has childhood PTSD, but I don't know for sure. No child should experience that. The writing style is okay, but I appreciated the simile and metaphor usage. For a story that falls short of 200 pages it packs a punch, a brilliant example of what happens when the author utilises every single page rather than filling pages in with insignificant events. I thought The Road to After was emotional and hard-hitting, but ultimately, it was hopeful as it shows Lacey moving on from the events in the past.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one fits comfortably on the spectrum of domestic violence stories for a middle grade audience the way The Big Bad Wolf in My House for children and If These Wings Could Fly for a YA audience. And Lowell explains that while the book is not her memoir, plenty of it was based on her lived experiences with domestic violence for close to ten years, which makes it a poignant story.

Immediately in the action, Lacey's life is thrown upside down when her grandparents appear with police officers to help her, her mother, and her little sister pack up their things and vacate the house while the dad is gone. He has kept them under his thumb for too long and it's when he says he will take care of one of the girls' dental issues himself that wakes up Lacey's mom and she realizes she needs serious help in escaping. This prompts a new world for Lacey and her mute little sister. They get to make choices. They have freedom. And it's a new normal that everyone navigates with an eye toward hopefulness.

The verse is perfectly suited for the sensitivity of the situation and the motif of the sunflower allows the middle grade reader to feel comfort in knowing that Lacey is okay and getting stronger.

[Wendi Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel in verse is such a heart-breaking, beautiful, important middle grade book. Lacey's abusive father kept her family hostage her entire life. When he threatens to fix Lacey and little sister Jenna's teeth himself (with drills he has brought home), Lacey's mother finds the courage to make an escape. Lacey's father is put in jail, but the hardest part is getting used to the freedom. At first, Lacey's mother is afraid to let the kids outside, for fear of running into their father's hostile relatives. But Lacey's mother enrolls in a graduate program in a different city, and everyone is finally able to breathe a little. The children are able to play, create, and explore.

I really loved this book, and I will keep a copy on the shelves for my kids to read.

[Rebecca McPhedran · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Maine Student Book Award for 23|24.

This is a beautiful story of a family that must learn how to live outside of the emotional confines of psychological abuse. When Lacey, her little sister Jenna and their mom leave the only home she’s ever known, Lacey feels unmoored. She very slowly begins to learn how to live her life in the “after” of abuse. A novel in verse, this book covers some heavy but very important topics. I really enjoyed it.

[Sally Kruger]

After years of physical and emotional abuse and being held like prisoners in their own home, a mother and her two young daughters leave for the safety of a women's and children's shelter. All Lacey has really known is the fear of her volatile father. She and her mother and little sister have learned how to negotiate his anger, but this has isolated them from any kind of normal.

On the day the police come and help them exit their home to a place of safety, Lacey is still afraid. The apartment provided at Caring Unlimited is nice and quiet, but there is still the anticipation that her father could appear and punish them for leaving. Being reunited with her grandparents is helpful, although her mother still insists on keeping the curtains closed and only reluctantly leaves the building.

As time passes, Lacey experiences the outside world. For six weeks they travel to Virginia so her mother can take art classes. The more Lacey sees of the rest of the world, the more confident she becomes. There are new friends, a garden, and visiting wonderful places. The time she thinks of as before fades until after begins to be the norm.

Author Rebekah Lowell calls on personal experience in an abusive relationship to create this inspiring story about a mother and her daughters who display courage and resilience as they start their new lives. Written in verse Lowell's talent with words and art shine through and create a brave and memorable tale.

[Cheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an excellently done book. Heartbreaking and hopeful. There were so many points I stopped just to ponder what life in the before would look like. Then I sat with the contrast of life in the after for a bit. Verse was the perfect way to share her story.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Young Reader Publishing Group for the review copy of The Road to After by Rebekah Lowell. The cover of this book was the first thing to catch my eye. When I found out it was a novel in verse about a young girl who escapes domestic abuse, I was very intrigued.

While her father is at work on day, Lacey's grandparents rescue Lacey, her mom, and her sister from the house. In the aftermath of the escape, Lacey must deal with how she feels about her father, and her mother having to go to court. It is a chilling exploration on the effect of domestic abuse on young children, whether they are physically hurt or not. This would be a difficult book to put in the hands of a highly sensitive reader, but I would highly recommend it for its beautiful verse and conversation potential alone.

[Kendra · Rating 5 out of 5]

"When before memories creep up on me, I have to be alone, where it is quiet and the walls are familiar and safe, so I can fight the memories that try to push their way into now - so I can tell them to go back to before."

This poignant and heartfelt middle grade novel in verse tells the story of a mother and her two daughters escaping domestic violence and rebuilding a beautiful life together. Although there are some heartbreaking themes, the content is handled sensitively for younger readers, but can also be enjoyed by older readers. I didn't want to put this down and devoured it in one sitting.

[Jennifer Hottinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be trapped in your own home and to know your captor-your father. Lacey and Jenna’s Mom shows strength to protect her angels. This novel in verse tackles tough situations of domestic violence and how nature can be an example to Lacey and Jenna as they try to find strength to move past the darkness and find hope in new beginnings. Rebekah Lowell’s debut novel brings us into her experiences. Please read her note at the end. You are strong, you deserve better and you may find allies where you least expect. A middle grade beautiful, meaningful read.

[Bell Of The Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

Strong, difficult, trauma based topics in this one for sure.

The young MC isn't just a fiction of Lowell's imagination, but is indeed pulled from details of her own life and childhood, suffering in domestic abuse.

There's too many issues to unpack here, but the journey she and her little sister take as their mother receives the rescue and support they so need, is heartbreaking and also heartwarming.
And what struggles and rescues aren't both bitter and sweet?

I also appreciate books of such depth and deliverance providing the reader with real resources.
Abuse hotlines and sites that are available to anyone needing advice, or research, and most importantly, rescuing!

[Joy Kirr · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this one slowly, letting Lacey heal bit by bit from the emotional and psychological abuse her father put her, her mom, and her little sister through. Parts of it reminded me of how I would think after I left my ex - is what he said true? Or at least some of it? I loved the metaphor of the sunflower, along with Lacey’s growth, and I’m so glad she found solace in the outdoors.

[Deborah]

This impressive debut doesn't shy away from the reality of domestic abuse and the layers of complex emotions it evokes in its victims—but it does so by focussing on the "after", with sensitivity and hope.

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't wait to start MIDDLE GRADE MARCH, so I decided to go with this one b/c it was the highest rated on my TBR. I always kind of hesitate when I see that something is written in verse, but it was so easy to read and just had a nice flow like a regular story. The Audiobook narrator was also fantastic! This short little story was very beautiful and packed plenty of emotion. The cover is stunning, and more people need to read this!

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a poignant story about 11 year old Lacy and her escape from an abusive father. Lowell writes this from her own experiences, so it gives a view into what it's really like for someone adjusting to a life many of us take for granted. This would be an important book to read if you are working with young children. It could possibly find its way to a reader who needs to know what to do about his or her own abusive family relationships. Lowell gives many resources at the end of the book for that purpose.

[Alison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stunningly written.. anyone that reads can understand how hope can help drive you forward!

[Myn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful YA book written in poems about rebuilding lives and finding a new path forward.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Impactful middle grade book! We are introduced to Lacey and her family and their traumatic journey of domestic abuse. The author does a good job helping readers to understand the emotional trauma and its effects along with highlighting episodes of physical violence. We follow Lacey feel so many confusing emotions as she hesitantly works her way into a calm and secure life.

[Isabella (isabunchofbooks) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting one! Still thinking about how I feel about it.

[Eco · Rating 5 out of 5]

The cover art drew me to the book. The story was a bit like walking down a memory lane.

Survival is continuing to move forward even though the pain and memories never stay in the before; they haunt the after when you least expect it.

[Sarah Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful book. A quick read that will leave you seeing the full of Lacey’s perspective.

[TheLibraryOfSarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel-in-verse told from the perspective of a child escaping domestic violence with her mother and sister was perfection. It delved into the reality of the situation while still feeling like it was really from a child's POV and her understanding of the situations. It healthfully explored emotions, healing, and hope. I loved Lacey as a character, she loves nature, animals, drawing, and books to help her cope. This is such an important book for everyone to read.

[Ms. Yingling · Rating 3 out of 5]

E ARC provided by Edelweiss Plus

Lacey, her younger sister Jenna, and their mother have been allowed to leave their home only infrequently for the thirteen years of Lacey's life. There are lots of rules that have to be followed to keep their father happy, and he becomes violent and abusive when the rules are broken. When her father is gone, her mother packs up Lacey and her sister, and with the help of the police and her grandparents, the family is removed from their house. They have to leave their dog, Mac, behind. The mother presses charges, and the father is put in jail. They stay briefly with their grandparents, Mémère and Pépère, but soon move to an apartment at Caring Unlimited, a shelter for families displaced because of abuse. There are counselors for the girls, which is especially important for Jenna, who at the age of four has never spoken. There is a garden at the shelter, a library nearby, and the mother gets helps to apply for a graduate program. They are concerned about being seen out in public, and it's a new experience for Lacey to have so much freedom, and the three slowly get used to being out of their home. Eventually, they pack a donated van and move from Maine to Virginia for the summer. There is a woman to watch the girls while the mother attends classes, but Jenna screams for so long that the mother tries to take the girls to class. This isn't allowed, so Mémère comes to watch the girls. After the summer, the family returns to Maine and live in a house across the street from the grandparents. They adopt kittens, join a homeschooling co-op, and try to navigate a different life. They have to go through the legal process to make sure the father doesn't hurt them again, but slowly readjust to their new life.
Strengths: While we pick up the story as the family is being removed from their unfortunate situation, there are plenty of circumspect details about the father's treatment of them described as Lacey and her sister learn to deal with the world outside their home. There are a lot of good details about the legal process as well as the therapeitic one, and it's good that the grandparents and Caring Unlimited are there for support. Things are better, but it doesn't mean they are perfect; one of the kittens they adopt becomes ill and dies, but this leads to a very fortuitous trip to the animal shelter. This feels very authentic, and Lacey's somewhat confused emotions are nicely portrayed. The author says in an afterword that she had experience with domestic abuse, and she is able to use her experiences in a very effective way. There are also sketches throughout the book that she has done, and the book ends on a positive and hopeful note.
Weaknesses: This is a novel in verse, but it reads very much like prose, which is how the vast majority of novels in verse are constructed. I do have a few students asking for this type of format, which I haven't in the past, although they do seem to prefer ones with cultural connections, like Faruqi's Unsettled or Warga's Other Words for Home.
What I really think: The abuse in this book isn't quite as bad as the abuse intimated in Stronger Than You Know, and the characters are a bit younger. Hand to readers who want books that show what it's like to escape a horrible home situation, like Smy's The Hideaway or Raúf's The Star Outside My Window. This is also a good replacement for Vigilante's The Trouble with Half a Moon (2012) if that one has fallen apart! Ten years seems to go by in the blink of an eye when it comes to books!

[Melanie Dulaney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rebekah Lowell’s debut book is a powerful NIV of hope and freedom from long term abuse. 11 year old Lacey, her mother, and 4 year old sister finally find the strength to flee a controlling and abusive father and begin the long road to recovery with the help of family, counselors, and friends. Lowell’s story begins with a very dark tone and may be potentially disturbing for some as Lacey describes a world “before” when the trio is forced to stay inside with little to no contact with others unless their father is present, temper flare-ups that result in damage to both people and things, and a constant stream of belittling and hurtful words. Three book sections, “Sprouting,” “Reaching For the Sun,” and “Blooming,” detail the path to joy that is not without its setbacks, but the fragile family is able to find hope and healing. While the initial description of the abuse is harsh, the majority of the book gently guides both Lacey and the reader through practical steps towards a future without fear including utilizing programs specifically designed for abused women and children and various types of counseling. Due to the mature subject, this librarian would recommend that The Road to After be used with students 5th grade and up. Text is free of profanity and sexual content. Race of most characters is left to the reader’s own imagination. Other representation notes: Mom’s parents may be of French descent based on the names Memere and Pepere, a minor character in one poem is referred to several times using pronouns they/them. Closing notes by the author include her own experience with abuse, encouraging words for readers who might be in an abusive situation (physical or psychological), and toll-free numbers for help.

Thank you, Rebekah, for sharing your book with me via a Twitter book giveaway.

[Lynn Plourde · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone from ages 10-adult should read this book. The story is hard and hopeful, poignant and powerful. The characters and the details ring achingly true because it is a fictional account of the author's own truth of living with, escaping from, and starting over--along with her two daughters--from domestic abuse.

In this novel in verse, 11-year-old Lacey is the narrator as she tells of her journey from "before" (being a prisoner in her own home with her controlling, physically and emotionally abusive father) to "after" when living a life free from domestic abuse seems like a journey as big as traveling to another planet while building the rocket ship along the way.

How do you let your mother out of your sight? How do you convince her to let you out of her sight? How do you make friends when you've never had friends? How do you help your younger nonverbal sister to find her voice, to move beyond the "before?" How do you let go of the fear?

The Road to After is a fast read, but not an easy read. The beautiful cover, illustrated by the author herself, lets you know this journey ends with hope. I want everyone who works with kids (teachers, counselors, youth group leaders) to read this book, to see and understand the truth of domestic abuse, to watch for signs of abuse in the kids they see, to offer this book to those who may need it (for themselves, for a friend, for a classmate, for a family member)--it has the potential to save lives. Most of us don't experience domestic abuse, but all of us need to understand domestic abuse better and be part of the solution whenever possible.

I can't remember the last time I read such an important book. Please read it and share it widely.

[Kim Tyo-Dickerson · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Schu gave me a copy of this debut Novel in Verse that tells the story of a girl named Lacey who, along with her mom and little sister Jenna, have narrowly escaped from their abusive home where "Daddy" has controlled every single move they made for thirteen years. Big questions about family, safety, and healing are asked here, and big hearted readers will find the metaphor author Lowell uses of growing sunflowers to tell Lacey's story particularly resonant. Thank you John! My heart did need this story.

This is a powerful, compassionate middle grade examination of domestic violence that reminded me of reading the beautifully and carefully crafted depiction of child sexual abuse in Kimberly Brubaker Bradley's Fighting Words. Both books are so needed, so incredibly heart-breaking, and, thankfully, so ultimately empowering through their unflinching look at some of the darkest experiences of childhood and their resolute determination to walk the road to "after", "after" the pain, "after" the escapes, "after" moving to new homes, "after" working with counselors, "after" waiting for the criminal justice system, "after" the nightmares stop, with their characters. These stories demonstrate how fiction can share hard truths alongside the message that there are multiple roads to surviving traumatic experiences, that there is somehow hope and healing after the worst has happened.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a big fan of novels in verse, and have been for a long time. At one point, I was reading pretty much every novel in verse I could get my hands on. Now, they've become so popular, I'd have to read nothing but novels in verse to keep up!!

I've found that this format is especially well suited to emotionally fraught, sensitive subject matter. Poets (the good ones!) are able to convey so much through metaphor and imagery rather than relying on explicit, graphic, detailed prose. Rebekah Lowell's poetic style reminds me of Margarita Engle's: evocative and spare, with lots of sensory images from the natural world.

The Road to After is truly a prime example of the power and possibilities of novels in verse. Lowell tells an important story about domestic abuse that offers young readers plenty of space to slow down and process what's happening. Lowell's focus on nature works well here. Lacey, the young narrator, who for most of her life has been trapped in her own home, feels at loose ends when she is finally freed. Digging in the earth helps her feel--quite literally--more grounded as she struggles to thrive in her new but also scary life.

Disclaimer: I know Rebekah Lowell (we went through similar graduate programs at Hollins University). She's the real deal, a talented writer and artist (she illustrated the gorgeous cover and the book includes some of her illustrations), and also a deeply empathetic and kind person. This is a work of fiction, but it is based on her own harrowing experiences as a survivor of domestic abuse.

Highly recommended for older elementary and middle school kids.

[Katie Reilley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to the author and publisher for sharing an early copy with #bookexpedition.

Before.
Before was when Lacey, her little sister Jenna, her mama and her dad lived together, the sisters prisoners without even realizing it. Before was when dad’s rules meant no visitors, keeping the curtains closed, staying quiet, and no love. Before was when things that brought them joy, like art supplies and toys, had to be hidden so that they were not destroyed by dad.

After.
After begins when Memere and Pepere, mama’s parents, come to their house to take the three of them away while dad’s at work. After means counselors, art therapy, and learning how to make choices they’ve never had the opportunity to do before, like what to buy at the grocery store. After mean spending time outside, learning how to make things grow and beginning to create good memories with family and new friends.

Told from Lacey’s point of view, this powerful middle grade novel in verse highlights themes of courage, healing, hope, and resilience.

Each chapter is 1-2 pages with the author’s own artwork displayed throughout. The author’s note explains that, while Lacey’s story is fictional, the idea behind it was “inspired by my own experiences as a survivor of over a decade of domestic abuse.”

Powerful read for grades 5 and up.
Out now.