In Charge: The Energy Management Guide for Badass Women Who Are Tired of Being Tired

by Arin N. Reeves

For every woman experiencing diminished energy in the midst of chaos; for every woman seeking greater joy, acknowledgment, and strength; for every woman who wants to continue to excel and refuses to settle for less, this is the energy management book that will actually lead to a new outlook and a badass life.

n her new book, In Charge, Dr. Arin N. Reeves offers women a path to a successful and meaningful life, by helping women eliminate energy drains, manage what needs to be done, and bring more of what makes them happy into their lives.

Through dozens of stories from real, badass women who have taken steps to be “in charge” of their lives despite circumstances that left them stretched too thin, stressed out, and just plain pissed off, Reeves demonstrates tools and techniques you can use to better manage your energy all day, every day, to accomplish all you need to do and regain a sense of control.

The very short version this book teaches: identify what makes you happy, identify what pisses you off, then do more of what makes you happy and less of what pisses you off. But. . .we all know it’s not that simple. Synthesizing research across multiple disciplines, and rejecting typical advice women hear (which often begins and ends with “just pamper yourself for a moment”), Reeves takes into the practical action steps and sustainable practices that will enable you to neutralize energy drains.

278 pages, Hardcover

First published March 14, 2022

About the author

As a researcher, author, and leading advisor to many of America’s top executives, Dr. Arin N. Reeves offers expertise and insights on a wide range of leadership and workplace culture topics.

Arin is intellectually voracious and committed to exploring diverse, and often contrarian, perspectives in her research and writing. For over 20 years, corporate leaders have turned to Arin to consult on their most formidable challenges, both in the workplace and the court of public opinion.

Arin is a best-selling author of three books: The Next IQ, One Size Never Fits All, and Smarter Than A Lie. Her latest book, In Charge: The Energy Management Guide for Badass Women Who Are Tired of Being Tired, was released on March 15, 2022.

Arin has designed and led comprehensive research projects on topics including gender equity, generational diversity, LGBTQI diversity, racial/ethnic, diversity, cultural integration, implicit bias, transformational leadership, and working through generational differences.

She is the founder and Managing Director of the research and advisory firm Nextions, which specializes in workplace culture change.
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Arin began her career as a practicing attorney. She then earned her doctorate in sociology at Northwestern University, where she has served as an Adjunct Professor teaching classes on law and society.

Reviews

[Lea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved all of the exercises in this, it gives more practical and applicable advising than any other book I've read. The stories she shares about her clients really made the most impact on me. Even though I cannot relate to many of their struggles, I still thoroughly appreciated the lessons learned.

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Snippet from my review: "Why are we so tired? Because our energy isn't being diverted to the areas we want it. We're burned out because we are inefficiently using the energy in our systems. One of my favorite passages in the book is on page 38: "We are stressed out because of what we must do that we don't want to do." So we need to refocus our goals to make sure they are leading us to an outcome that we want through a journey that is positive. "

Read the full review here: https://cookscrapcraft.blogspot.com/2...

p. 18 "Underneath the lopsided recommendations was a fundamental assumption: work was a necessity for men, but work was a choice for women."

p. 24 Things that would make women's lives different/easier: if workplaces were different, if the rules were different, if they had more help with childcare, if they didn't have to worry about being assertive and labeled a "bitch", if business metaphors weren't always sports, violence, or sexual in nature.

p. 30 "Burnout is the inefficient - by conscious choice, unconscious default, or external pressure - use of the energy in your system to accomplish the outcomes you want."

p. 31 "...it's an entirely different story when you have to manage this AND deal with having to cover up who you are, mute yourself to make others feel more comfortable, tone down your anger, smile when you don't feel like smiling, manage the chaos of being the primary caretaker of children and others as the world focuses on something called work-life balance..., and choose between spending precious time on your appearance or girding yourself against comments about your lack of makeup."

p. 38 "We are stressed out because of what we must do that we don't want to do."

p. 39 "This starts with forgiving your past self for what she didn't do and freeing your future self from what you know she doesn't really want to do."

p. 41 "Society's answer to this has been to yell at women to learn how to better set and honor their boundaries. But society is quite hushed when it comes to yelling at the people who violate women's boundaries frequently and consistently."

p. 45 "Self-concordant goals are ones where you enjoy the journey to the destination; self-discordant goals are ones where you see the benefit of the destination, but the journey itself exhausts you to the point where you don't reach the destination or are too drained to enjoy the destination upon your arrival."

p. 62 "That dislike - often coated with a healthy dose of anger and resentment - is what burns women out. The destination rocks, but the ride sucks."

p. 63 "No matter the x that women were pursuing, the y necessary to get the x was causing stress unless the y itself led to peace, joy, acknowledgment, and community."

p. 66 "Peace is the absence of things we don't want."

p. 67 "Peace is the absence of stress and exhaustion that we did not choose and would never choose for ourselves if we had the choice."

p. 71 "...freedom is the power to choose what you want to say and do, and liberty is the power to actually say and do what you want to say and do."

p. 72 "The difference between freedom and liberty for women in our world today seems to be the different between what we can/want to do and what we have social persmiion to do as enforced by negative consequences if not heeded."

p. 72-73 "Even though we are told we have the right to pursue happiness, do we have the liberty to do so if our definition of happiness doesn't fit with the social norms?"

p. 92 "Women were using acknowledgment to mean all the above - recognition, appreciation, admission, acceptance, awareness, and all the stuff in between that makes someone feel like they are seen and heard and valued for all of who they truly are."

p. 103 "We don't have to deal with protecting ourselves from marauders in the same way anymore, but the greatest threat to women - physically and emotionally - continues to be men."

p. 134 "...women are more likely to end up as the default doers for a lot of stuff in our personal and professional lives, especially the stuff that has to get done but gets no recognition or reward."

p. 138 "I know that it needs to get done, but why do you believe that you have to do it?"

p. 139 "When I first bring this up, many women balk at the idea ... because of our deep socialization that there are tasks that we, as women, need to do to be good women, good mothers, good wives, good daughters, etc., etc., etc."

p. 143 "We talked about how women needed ongoing spaces where we can get out all of the worst-case scenarios that we are desperately trying to keep at bay so that we separate our fears of 'everything falling apart' from problems that we may actually be able to solve, neutralize, or just consciously choose to ignore."

p. 149 "Women are not afraid of saying no. We are afraid of what could go wrong when we say no."

p. 185 "True self-care is not bath salts and chocolate cake, it's making the choice to build a life you don't need to escape from" - Brianna Wiest

p. 234 "In other words, working moms are being told: 'You are in charge of how you work while parenting, but don't touch the controls of how your work life or parenting is defined, supported, acknowledged, or valued.'"

p. 243 "Being in charge is not about trying to get into positions of power; it's remembering that we already have the power to do more than we allow ourselves to do. We are already in the most important position of power of all - being able to choose the who, what, when, where, and why of our badass lives."

[Michelle Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for writing such an inspiring, motivating book to remind me, and other women about our ability to be in charge and what we need to recharge ourselves to continue to do amazing things.

[Resse · Rating 5 out of 5]

She has been pushed around, pushed down, and pushed out, but she is still fighting every day.

The cover is simple and yet eye-catching. Even though the cover brought me in, the topic made me want to read it. While reading In Charge, ‘I can relate to that’ was a recurring thought.

Life is not easy. Our society is about the hustle and constantly having to go go go. Burnout is common now. People are tired. They want to find ways to get out of that state. If not, then at least manage it.

I would describe In Charge as part memoir, part self-help. I’m not sure exactly if that’s what it is, but that’s my takeaway. Dr. Arin N. Reeves talks about her own experiences and includes her client’s experiences. There are bits of advice too. With self-improvement books, reading alone is pointless. You must practice the activities/exercises as you read or after reading about it. I believe In Charge is a book I will want to reread and use the practices whenever I need it.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 (4.5)

Thank you, NetGalley and Dr. Arin N. Reeves, for a copy in exchange for my honest opinion.