I loved Cold & Evil 🥰 and Tulip 💜. What a heart tugging story!! ❤️
“I need you with me, Tulip. I let you walk away. I could have chased after you and begged you to come back, but I stuffed everything down and carried on for my family, to get our shit straight, and we did. But there’s no more going slow with me. No more distance. No more time to breathe. It’s our time. Us.”
“Dear Ava, today is the beginning of anything you want,” he says in my ear.
I clutch his shoulders. “You. Always you.”
Synopsis:
- ”The moon is full and bright, illuminating the high pine trees towering over me, their branches rustling as the wind blows, like ghostly hands rubbing their fingers together. Watching the slow, creepy movement reminds me of a horrid Grimm fairytale where a young girl ventures out into the enchanted forest to pick flowers, only to be gobbled up by a monster.”
This was the start of the story and the imagery pulled me straight in, and honestly it was a scary and heartbreaking place to start. Ava.....struggling to remember what happened, only to realize she had been raped. 😢💔
A year later Ava is back at Camden Prep to complete her senior year. Everyone hates her and calls her a snitch because she went to the police after the rape and identified the kids at the party. However, a note found at the bottom of her locker on the first day seems to indicate she might have an ally in the midst of the enemy battlefield.
In her final year at Camden she is determined not to let these rich snobs derail her from completing school and achieving her goals.
-
”Steel yourself,” I whisper. “Beyond these doors lie hellhounds and vampires.” I smirk. If only they really were. I’d pull out a stake and end them like Buffy. Sadly, they are only human, and I cannot stab them.”
- “I came back for vengeance, to show all of you that nothing in this goddamn world will ever hold me back from finding out who hurt me. I’m Ava Tulip Harris and no one hurts me, but this place, this place, I had to come back and show you all that I’m worth more than what someone did to me in the woods.”
My Thoughts: The following are my thoughts about this book:
General:
- Trigger warning: Rape. Mostly off page although the heroine talks about a few details
- Setting: Sugarwood, TN
Characters:
Knox (aka Cold and Evil) (high school senior):
* The following words/phrases were used to describe Knox: The devil, Hades, intimidating, scrutinizes people, cold, asshole, douchebag, Lonely, empty, wears a mask, has a wall around him, lost in guilt and shame, kind, quiet, unsure, exhausted., a stoic loner, worthy, kind, wonderful, beautiful, supportive
* Something to know about Knox:
- Knox has a twin named Dane who he is extremely close to. His dad is a real estate millionaire, his mom (who was assaulted and never really recovered from that) took her life when Knox was twelve. This family has struggled to cope since the loss of their mother. They love each other, but their actions sometimes don’t show it.
- Knox has a long scar on his face that runs from his forehead to his lips (the source of it is heartbreaking).
- Knox attends Camden Prep, is the star quarterback and is head of “The Sharks” (the group that “rules” the school).
* A quote about Knox:
- “You don’t know the shit he’s been through. He acts like it doesn’t bother him, holds it in so tight I’m afraid he’s going to crack someday, but he’s got a heart.”
Ava (aka Tulip) (high school senior):
* The following words/phrases were used to describe Ava: strong, brave, smart, fierce, defiant, charity case, mouthy, assertive, devastatingly beautiful, broken, bright star, tough-girl exterior, incredible, sweet, badass, sexy as fuck, determined, lost, tired, independent
* Something to know about Ava:
- She grew up with an alcoholic, drug-addicted mom. She has a 6 year old brother (Tyler) who has some development challenges due to being born with fetal alcohol syndrome. Ava loves and adores her brother, has basically cared for him all her life and will do anything to make his life better.
- Ava is a hard worker (school and jobs) and attends Camden Prep (the bane of her existence) due to a scholarship. Her goal is to attend Vanderbilt and ultimately become a doctor.
* Some quotes about Ava:
- ”I’ve sat in homeless shelters. I’ve watched Mama shoot needles in her arms, in between her toes, wherever she could to get that high. I’ve watched her suck down a bottle of vodka for breakfast. These rich kids are toddlers compared to me.”
- “It might seem silly to want something so simple, but for a girl like me—one who’s never had big things—it’s the little things that take up room in my heart: soft rain, starry nights, shy looks, leaves falling, a good movie, Tyler’s smile, chocolate cake—and a date with your guy.”
Story Thoughts:
- Knox and Dane together....be still my heart. 💕These brothers love each other so much and my heart hurt for their sadness, but I adored their closeness
- A guy who plays piano.....nothing sexier for me. 🥰🎹🎼
- Although there was some heavy subject matter, there were a lot of uplifting aspects to the story so I didn’t get bogged down in depressing feelings
- Although this sounds like it might be a bully story, it’s not. Yes there are some crappy people at the high school, but on the whole this is about finding answers, building up and supporting those you care about and learning to heal
- I liked the qualities of the H & h. They were both genuine and kind at the core and it made it really easy to root for them.
- These two had been through some serious crap and it made them seem so much more mature than other high schoolish books. There was great character growth for both
- Knox’s father.... He genuinely cared for his son and genuinely wanted to help Ava. He was a good dad I liked that he was portrayed that way
”Just let him breathe. Let yourself breathe. Come back when the timing is right.”
- The time apart....
”I need my own space to grow and live and forget about this town, and I need to let him go so he can do the same.”
.......Gah 💔.....
”I love you, so much that I’d do anything, even if it means saying goodbye. You need some room to breathe. Just, someday in the future, find me. Just find me and come up to me and tell me you still love me and want me and can’t live without me in your arms—”
💔.
I usually hate it when this happens, but they both recognized they needed to grow as individuals before they could grow as a couple so I bought into the reasons for the separation. And then when they reunited....Gah, Gah❤️❤️. Oh my heart. They worked hard for their HEA and deserved every ounce of joy
”Sometimes when people don’t speak, they say everything, don’t they?”
“Scars serve as medals of honor, and the strongest hearts have the most.“
Overview:
- POV: Dual POV
- H likable? Yes. Knox was hard to figure out in the beginning. Once all his greatness was unlocked he was a beautiful character. ❤️
- h likable? Yes. I loved her!! So strong and fierce. What a fighter!!❤️
- h virgin? No
- First time they kiss: 50%
- First time they sleep together: 66%
- First time they say I Love You 83%
- Steamy 🔥 ? There is descriptive sex but it wasn’t the focal point of the story
- OW/OM drama? Not really. Ava’s ex is around but he has no shot of a second chance with her anymore.
- H/h cheat? No
- Time apart? Yes. Almost 2 years
- Did I skip pages? No
- Big secrets? Not really.
- Did I cry? I got a little emotional and a little tear slipped down my cheek
- Did I laugh? I smiled a few times. Tyler (6) adds some cuteness
- Did I swoon 🥰? Knox is definitely swoonworthy!!
- Cliffhanger? No
- HEA? Yes. So good ❤️
- Epilogue? epilogue 1: 4 years later. Epilogue 2: 4 years after epilogue 1
- Recommend? Yes. It mostly takes place in high school, which is not my thing. But the underlying story of the Phoenix rising out of the ashes is beautiful.
Quotes
“No matter the road you take, it doesn’t matter if it’s beautiful or ugly, hard or smooth, paved or pitted with ruts—it’s your road to take. What matters is how it ends.”
“The air around me practically bristles with tension. If I were a wicked witch, I’d cackle right now.”
“Who’d love the king of the underworld?”
“The right person.”
“An unforgiving heart is like rat poison to the one who holds it.”
“Stay with me. I’m giving you my heart. I’m giving you everything.”
“Phoenix.” I turn to the side and let him see the orange creature rising up into the sky, red flames in its trail. I got it the summer after I left Camden. Every prick on my skin was a reminder of how far I came to where I am now. I lifted myself from the ashes and started anew.”
“I know we’re young on the outside, but inside, the heart knows when it sees its forever.”
That year I spent with him and Dane—I don’t regret one moment of it. We took a broken family and learned to heal.”
“Ava meets my gaze, bites her lip, and clasps my hand. Tyler puts his small hand in my other one. Dane takes Ava’s free hand, and Dad takes Tyler’s. We’re a family.”
“Our lines got a little blurry along the way, through broken hearts and time lost, but in the end, we made a full, complete, beautiful circle.”