Fingers Crossed: How Music Saved Me From Success

by Miki Berenyi

The extraordinary and searingly honest personal story of musician Miki Berenyi, revealing the highs and lows of navigating the madness of the '90s music industry

Genres: Music, Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Autobiography, Audiobook, Feminism

367 pages, Hardcover

First published September 29, 2022

About the author

Miki Eleonora Berenyi is an English singer, songwriter, and guitarist best known as a member of the alternative rock band Lush and currently a member of Piroshka.
Her memoir Fingers Crossed was published in 2022.

Reviews

[Mia · Rating 5 out of 5]

me talking about miki berenyi: i support women’s rights AND women’s wrongs

[Daisy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t read biographies or autobiographies (Peter Mandelson being the one exception) but this was a surprise birthday present and was written by a woman who was in a band that was part of my youth. Berenyi was the lead singer of a band called Lush who remained mid-table in the league of shoegaze and later indie/Britpop bands (Berenyi dislikes being saddled with these labels but nonetheless these are what they are known for) and I’m not sure the story of an unremarkable band will hold much interest for anyone not part of the scene at the time.
There are some interesting insights into the madness, excess and mayhem that occurs on tour and the way that young musicians are ripped off financially and are still living in house shares and surviving on a hundred quid a week despite them being inescapable to the public thanks to tv appearances, radio play and magazine features, but again I’m not sure that it will be anything that hasn’t been said before.
That said her honesty is astounding. She tells of her childhood abuse, of her dysfunctional home life, her promiscuity and is candid on her own personality flaws. I wonder also if as well as an element of putting ghosts to rest there is something of the bridge burning taking place; she is unrelentingly critical of her bandmate Emma who comes across as moody, cold, jealous, selfish, rude – in short, a deeply unpleasant individual. I’m sure much could be made of the psychology at play here; Emma had a well-adjusted home life; she formed the band and was the primary songwriter so one can make of that what one will. I’m not sure Berenyi makes herself seem much more likeable, but she is admirable. She reminds me how much better it was to be a young woman at the time where we felt empowered and told men who made clumsy passes or inappropriate comments to, “Eff off” or make some withering put down rather than see it as making us a victim and suffering a trauma that we will be endlessly triggered into reliving. She owns her own part in situations she finds herself in and this is the vision of womanhood I wanted to grow into as a teenager.
I also loved it because it name-checked lots of areas of London and schools that I am very familiar with so the “Oh yeah” factor was strong in this one. For me a brilliant piece of nostalgia but I’m not sure if it will have the same interest for those less familiar with the places and time.

[DC Merryweather · Rating 4 out of 5]

The candid memoir of 'Miki From Lush' is neatly divided into two parts: first, the peripatetic upbringing with a womanising Hunagrian father and a glamorous Japanese actress mother, coupled with tales that will make your hair turn scarlet red. Then follows the rock n roll haze of being the focal point of Lush, riding the hedonistic wave between the giggling, gigging indie band and purveyours of blissful, yet spiky, distortion-pedal drenched pop and then trying to keep their heads above water in the tsunami of lairy, coked-up laddishness that was Britpop.

It's especially effective when focused on the inter-band friction and the tensions between her and Emma Anderson, the band's no-nonsense engine and principal songwriter who is forced to play second fiddle to the more charismatic and erratic lead singer.

It is both humorous and self-critical, sparing few punches when detailing the inappropriate behaviour of the likes of Bobby Gillespie, Liam Gallagher, Blur, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the like (nice to hear that Ministry were good fun, however). She presents a portrait of herself as needy and flighty, yet at the same time self-aware and resilient.

[Chris Limb · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's often a danger that books in the Rock Biography category will fall into one of two camps – either a text book about the band concerned or a cocky namedropping catalogue of people met and hedonism indulged in. Fingers Crossed avoids both these traps and as such stands head and shoulders above the rest of the genre.

Miki opens up about her life from her birth through to the tragic dissolution of Lush in a conversational, friendly manner, and yet never shies away from the more shocking aspects of her story, some of which occur during her wildly unconventional childhood.

Despite the more horrifying revelations the narrative never descends into self pity, and the sarcastic, at times mildly self-deprecating, tone injects an element of humour which runs through the whole book like the words through a seaside stick of rock. Miki is disarmingly honest about her own – and others’ – faults and never holds back when something needs to be said whether about herself, her original family or the found family of fellow band members she spends so much time with in the second half of the book.

The targets of the more scathing passages clearly deserve everything coming their way – especially during the nationwide cultural retreat from enlightenment that was Britpop – yet on the whole the author is kind and understanding about people she locks horns with and there’s a clear subtext that she knows this is just her own perspective and others will have their own, equally valid, points of view.

Engaging, gripping and hilarious, Fingers Crossed feels like a confessional evening spent in the pub with a friend and is one rock biography that will definitely warrant a reread.

[MJ Nicholls · Rating 5 out of 5]

A scintillating insight into the darker, dingier side of Britpop, namely the chauvinistic music press into whose crosshairs Miki from Lush fell for being outspoken and eccentric. The brief rise of shoegaze legends Lush is a tale of frenzied creativity, rivalry, and frustration—the more captivating part of this memoir is Berenyi’s own dysfunctional and traumatic childhood, which she writes about vividly, with care, tenderness, wisdom, and passion. Terrific memoir.

[Sara]

I don't rate biographies and memoirs.

I've never heard of Miki Berenyi or her band Lush. I was a little too young to really understand the Britpop haydays, however I picked this up because of the intriguing cover while it was on offer on Amazon. Miki certainly had an interesting, and often traumatising childhood, with parents who often left her to her own devices or with people who should never have been left alone with small children. And it's this first half of the book that really stood out for me. It's viscerally honest, with Miki pulling no punches describing her past and how it shaped her. She never paints herself as the hero of the story either, often going into detail about her promiscuity and dangerous behaviour and what an awful person she could be at times. It certainly made her more endearing to read about her colourful life.

It's the second part of the book I was less taken with, as Miki charts the rise and downfall of her band Lush. I just wasn't that invested in knowing the ins and out of thr music industry of the late 90s and early 00s, and found the constant discussions about bandmste Emma and her attitude rather tiresome. I think overall this is quite a niche read, with a target audience that obviously isn't me. If you grew up in Miki's part of London, or enjoyed Lush's music then this is going to be a great read. For thr casual reader? Not so much.

[Katy Wheatley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have very fond memories of Lush. As an Indie music kid of the late Eighties and Nineties, their music was the soundtrack to a lot of very excellent nights out. Berenyi's memoir walks a brilliant line between evoking those heady days and the enjoyment of the music scene, both as a musician herself and as a music fan. She also tells her own, far darker and sadder tale as the background to all of this and how it at first broke and then shaped her.

It's not an easy read, despite the fact that Berenyi can write beautifully. What she went through is frankly jaw dropping, but here she is, still making music and having built herself what appears to be a rich, rewarding life out of the wreckage. I don't often use the word gripping when I'm writing about memoirs, but I'd use it here.

[Krešimir · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm normally not doing reviews, but this one will be an exception, for two reasons.

First of all, because an autobiography of a not-globally-popular musician could and will probably be skipped by a lot of people that aren't fans of the band. I did read this one because Lush is one of my all-time favorite bands, but let me assure you, it is not a band-specific book.
In fact, but the first half of the book is covering the time before Lush is even formed - and Miki really knows how to write engaging stories about her sometimes cool, mostly fucked up childhood and growing-up with some crazy, often shocking anegdotes about her and her family.

[I can relate to some of them, especially the parts about her Hungarian part of family (gotta be a regional thing with Croatia bordering Hungary and having a Nazi / Communism backdrop, I guess). It should be a great read for everyone, nevertheless.]

The other thing is - even the second part isn't *really* about Lush. I mean, of course it is - but it's *so* much more - some is about shoegaze, some is about Britpop, a lot is about the whole state of music industry and sexism / misogyny / fuckedupness of it all. About a person, a real person and not the glittery avatar of celebrity life we often envision and imagine.

It's a shame that more celebrity autobiographies are not written so well, nuanced and honest. Miki, props. <3

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lush came into my world in 1996 when the song Ladykillers was featured on Now 33. This was during the Britpop era and I thought they were a band from that genre, the other two singles 500 and Single Girl didn't help that.

Anyway up comes the internet and I'm able to do some more research when Hypocrite is featured in a Rough Trade indie pop compilation and I find out that they were much more. Usually I tend to focus on the albums and wait until a biography shows up so I have an idea of the band without media bias (and NME were quite nasty to the group)

Finally lead singer Miki Berenyi has written her autobiography and it is quite a sordid affair. Although Lush themselves were quite tame by band standards Miki Berenyi's personal life was not: abuse, parental problems and toxic relationships take up quite up the first half of the book, while the second half deals with depression, sexism in alternative , the awfulness of Britpop and ending with Lush's dissolution due to their drummer taking his own life.

It's a gritty and truthful autobiography which exposes the dark underbelly of alternative rock from both sides of the pond. Although there is a happy ending one needs strong nerves to read it.

[Adam Whitehead · Rating 5 out of 5]

Founded in 1987, the British band Lush were (and remain) an interesting study in contradictions. They formed as a self-described shambolic amateur unit with a terrible live performance but quickly improved and gained the ambition to make complex songs with unusual time signatures and atmospherics, becoming part of the movement which the Americans dubbed "dreampop" but the British called "shoegaze."

Lush also had a rockier side which put them in a good position when they were unexpectedly recruited by Perry Farrell to open the second-ever Lollapalooza tour in 1992, giving them a small but intense following in the United States, not to mention a hair-raising series of anecdotes about playing alongside Ministry, Pearl Jam and the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

Lush's relentless touring schedule and ability to switch between long, atmospheric songs and punkier, hook-laden guitar numbers should have stood them in good stead for the Britpop explosion, and they achieved the height of their commercial success at that time (with two Top 10 albums and four Top 40 singles), but they also found themselves creatively burned out and annoyed by label pressure to compromise to fit in with the music of the time. When drummer Chris Acland tragically committed suicide at the end of 1996, the band dissolved, returning only for a short-lived reunion in 2015-16 which ended acrimoniously.

Miki Berenyi was Lush's lead singer and frontwoman, sharing guitarist and songwriting duties with former schoolfriend (and music fanzine co-editor) Emma Anderson. Lush were somewhat unusual in the late 1980s and early 1990s as a British guitar band whose lead creative forces were women, leading to some positive attention but also highly negative and, at times, irrational criticism, including bizarre claims their songs were written by their label. They also had to suffer attempts to make them appear in revealing clothes for magazine articles and videos, and their male colleagues (Acland and bassists Steve Rippon and, later, Phil King) were largely ignored unless the band put their foot down to be depicted equally. The fact they were also moderately successful in the United States when many of their contemporary British colleagues struck up much higher profiles in the UK but couldn't crack America at all seemed even more galling to certain people, and, as gruelling as the American tours could be, they were a relief from the sometimes indifferent British ones. Berenyi, especially, found herself the frequent star of music periodical gossip columns, thanks to frequently attending gigs in London and not holding back her opinions on anything (her eye-catching red hair also made her easy to spot in such venues).

Fingers Crossed is Berenyi's autobiography and a startling look into one of the most interesting, musically creative periods in British history. It takes until almost halfway through the book before we even get to that point. The first half of the book is taken up by Berenyi's family history and childhood. This could be indulgent - rock bios are generally aimed at people who want to learn more about the inside story of who hated who in the band, not necessarily where they went to infant school - but Berenyi is astute enough to realise that much of her personality, personal history, songwriting acumen and the need for a found family of friends and bandmates is informed by her rather unusual upbringing. Also, it's fascinating stuff. The daughter of a Hungarian sports reporter and a Japanese actress (Yasuko Nagazumi, who had regular roles in The Protectors and Space: 1999) who split just a few years after her birth, Berenyi grew up in two very different worlds. Her mother's world was one of glamour, famous actors and parties. Her mother moved to Los Angeles, giving Berenyi an early experience of transatlantic travel and adventures in the Hollywood Hills and visits to the family home in Japan. Berenyi's father's world was somewhat more austere, with frequent trips to Hungary to clandestinely sell western goods beyond the Iron Curtain and being partially raised by her Nazi-sympathising grandmother, who abused her both emotionally and physically.

These aren't all pleasant stories, but there is also a lot of love and nostalgia around, and an evocation of life in 1970s Britain which could both be rough (Berenyi suffered a lot of bullying and attempted bullying at various schools) but also a lot of fun, especially given the privilege of her mother's wealth and introductions to various celebrities. Once the story moves into the 1980s and teenage Berenyi and new-found friend Anderson become music fans, things really kick off: a chance encounter with one of the Thompson Twins sees them being introduced to the world of record production and then starting their own music fanzine, Alphabet Soup. A combination of student grants, studying in London and a ridiculously low cost of living (unachievable now in London) gives them weekly access to gigs, and their contacts lead to a job in the industry for Anderson. Eventually and perhaps inevitably they form a band. Unfortunately, their industry and media contacts give them too much hype before they are ready for it, leading to a flurry of "the next big thing!" articles years before they were even ready to record their first full album, leading to a resulting inevitable backlash from the UK's notoriously tabloidy music press.

The book is searingly honest, perhaps overly so, with Berenyi's keenness to admit to her own faults being refreshing (a few bad episodes and dubious relationship choices appear to be Berenyi's own fault, so it's a relief which she readily admits as much) but also going a bit overboard. Berenyi constantly downplays her own musical skills throughout the book, when even a brief perusal of Lush's back catalogue immediately contradicts that idea.

The relationship between Berenyi and Anderson is the most interesting in the book, as the two women have somewhat different personalities which sometimes clash but also a unified interest in making the best and most interesting music possible, sometimes joining forces to overrule producers, managers and promo people who believe otherwise. There are frustrations apparent in the relationship, mainly stemming from communication issues - at one point Anderson decides to quit the band because she has taken up a position she assumes is completely at odds with everyone else and is shocked to find Berenyi already in 100% agreement with her - and their different views on the musical process. Anderson is happiest in the studio with a compliant producer, finding the best ways of assembling the songs, and finds the tours (especially of the USA) draining, whilst Berenyi much prefers getting out and playing live to crowds. The tension between the two perspectives leads to some great music, but also stressful situations within the band.

The book also features an interesting fresh perspective on being a woman on the guitar band circuit at this particular point in time. Berenyi wryly notes that she thoroughly enjoyed the life of rock and roll, drinking too much and engaging in casual hook-ups, which male artists at the time were congratulated for but women were criticised about (often by the exact same commentators). Berenyi saves much of her ire for the Britpop era, which saw an explosion of pent-up misogyny and attempts to exploit young women under the guise of empowerment, and women in the business were taken advantage of. The seedier side of Britpop proves an unedifying experience (although it's good to see various groups, like Pulp, come out of it very well), despite the avalanche of good music that comes alongside it.

One possible criticism is that the story feels incomplete. It effectively ends after Lush formally dissolves in early 1998 and we only get few a few paragraphs describing Berenyi's subsequent life: her move into being a sub-editor in the publishing industry, an ill-fated Lush reunion in 2015-16, the births of her two children and her more recent forming of the excellent band Piroshka (who have produced two very good albums to date). If the book forms the story of Miki Berenyi's life, there's a very large, 25-year chunk of it missing.

Overall the book is fascinating, eruditely-written, constantly amusing and jam-packed with interesting trivia: Emma Anderson dated My Bloody Valentine's Kevin Shields before Lush formed; Lush and Ministry formed a strong-if-unlikely alliance during the Lollapalooza tour and got up to mutually-supported mayhem; Berenyi once got back from tour to find an uncommunicative Richard Ashcroft pouring over music demos for A Northern Soul with her then-boyfriend; Blur and Pulp were both Lush support bands before becoming Britpop giga-stars.

It's also an at-times bruising, personal story of abuse and neglect, with periods of over-drinking and dubious relationship decisions (drug addiction, fortunately, seems to have been avoided), honestly owned up to. There's also an interesting thread, which perhaps could have been expanded on further, where Berenyi identifies episodes and events that bleed directly into her songs. The obvious example is from Lush's best-known hit, "Ladykillers," which was directly based on lengthy "hey, I'm actually a nice guy who respects women," conversations with male musicians whose actions didn't quite live up to their words. The creative process of how the songs were made is occasionally hinted at, but maybe could have been elaborated on.

Then again, this isn't necessarily your standard rock bio. There's no lengthy appendix featuring every gig the band played or a list of their equipment. It's a from-the-heart-by-way-of-the-soul story of life, music, love and loss, and is compelling reading.

Fingers Crossed: How Music Saved Me From Success (****½) is available now.

[Hayley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so good!
I loved the Lush album 'Lovelife' in the 90s and thought Miki was ridiculously cool.
I loved the first half of this memoir when Miki reflected on her childhood and teens.
Reading about her life caught between two families included lots of neglect,racism and abuse and although hard to read was so evocative and affecting.
I also loved Miki's ability to reflect on the 90s without the rose-tinted view you usually find in memoirs from her contemporaries.She reflects on the misogyny of the time brilliantly and has no time for being objectified by her peers which was brilliant to read.
I'd really recommend this book whether you're familiar with her music or not.

[Teo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great memoir that takes you from the beginning of Miki’s life (there’s even background to her parents) to the dissolution of Lush. Miki’s writing flows smoothly and she is self aware and humorous, which makes for an entertaining read that isn’t self pitying and grating. Lots of interesting memories and experiences, with notable names in the music industry popping up. I especially loved the ending, was sweet.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

one thing about me is i will absolutely EAT up a memoir by a woman in music x

[Stephanie Wong · Rating 5 out of 5]

Writing this as i just finished my zoom interview with Miki

[Emma French · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jag vet inte...älskar Lush och den var sorglig att läsa, både för bandets historia men också för Mikis turbulenta barndom. Och det är inte lätt att vara en tjej i band, men där jag ville uppleva lite uppmuntran och kärlek och fucking girl power gav hon mig bara en ganska dålig inställning till allt och alla. Aja framsidan är asball och kul att hon gillade Jarvis, lyssna på 'Ciao!'

[Alex Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best music autobiographies I've read. It's a very open and readable book and Berenyi never shies away from the darker sides of her unconventional life and upbringing. It also really highlighted the very grim and at times tragic side of the music business in the 90s

[&#x1f336; peppersocks &#x1f9e6; · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reflections and lessons learned:
“I spend every moment listening to records borrowed from the local library, recording songs off the radio, and making mixed tapes…”

I only started listening to the commercial hits of Lush, so wouldn’t say that I was a mega fan, but Olympian, Ciao, Single Girl (and the Mark and Lard rip off version which is still much quoted in this house) - these were much played songs from my pre uni summer. I already knew the names Miki and Emma before these hits though, as there was a new breed of UK kickass females coming through alternative/indie pop that grunge kids like myself needed. Girls that could sing and play guitars, and be natural style rock stars, but all whilst wearing 80 denier black tights, top shop flowery dresses and docs and converse.

This book felt huge as a story, so took me several attempts to get through, but is a considered look back at such a mixed childhood, and an amazing career in a successful band. Not all plain sailing unfortunately and some truly ugly moments from people that I would consider to be a fan of, but tragically unsurprising given the culture of the mid 90s. A sad sad ending to the story too, which feels like it’s still being processed. A shame, but glad that we have the music, and the honest role models from the time

[Nicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was really excited to read this one. Miki was one of my idols when I was in my late teens and up. I loved Lush and I thought Miki was so glamorous and talented.
I was genuinely shocked reading this, literally didn’t know about her childhood and her awful, abusive grandmother. I didn’t know about her self harming and destructive personality. I think I kind of figured she had an actress mum so probably had a stable and maybe even privileged childhood. Not quite.
I am in awe of how beautifully Miki writes and how open she has been in dissecting her life and flaws. She’s definitely not perfect and doesn’t claim to be, but her strength of character and even a generosity in how she speaks about certain people really came through. I was surprised by how relatable she actually is.
The Britpop stuff was also an eye opener. I was into it, but I think too far removed living in a different country to pick up on the sexism and laddishness. I was literally horrified reading about Bobby Gillespie, Blur and Liam Gallagher. I was surprised Anthony K was the least offensive out of this little group!
Reading about the making of the albums and the difficult relationship with Emma was interesting. Now I am very interested to check out Piroshka.

[Diego González · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably not a biography for everyone. Intense, crass, catty. I loved it. A must-read if you are a fan of Lush or early shoegaze, and I am. It's a candid book with stark moments of child abuse and suicide, and an honest telling of a life in rock. Moose, Robin Guthrie, Kevin Shields/MBV, Primal Scream, Jarvis Cocker/Pulp, Billy Bragg, and more make their appearances and the Lollapalooza section is awesome. That is where I saw them the first time and it cemented my love of them.
The subtitle is perfect: How Music Saved Me from Success. I only wish I could read Emma's biography one day too. I'd love to hear her side too.

[Kate Dansette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Only reading music bios by women and other marginalised genders from now on. They know the score.

[Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have famously been a big fan of Lush and the shoegaze scene since I was a teen, so I was really keen to read this. And it was great. Her candour speaking about her struggles with her trauma and what it meant to be a woman in music in the 90's was obviously upsetting but insightful. I feel that sometimes writers hate to portray themselves as vulnerable and flawed but Miki didn't shy away from saying how she feels about all the things that have happened in her life, even indulging us in some of her mostly sad but sometimes hilarious diary entries. If you are a fan of not only shoegaze but all British music particularly in this time period, I strongly recommend this book. I don't usually rate autobiographies, but I was glued to this book for the past week (ask Grace) and had an incredible time reading it so 5/5 without a doubt.

[Caleb Van Winkle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had waited a few months after released to finally get ahold of Fingers Crossed: How Music Saved Me From Success and my biggest complaint was that I wish read it sooner!

I’ve been a big Lush fan for years now and I was over the moon when Miki announced she was releasing a memoir! I expected the typical “growing up, forming band, making it big” story that most band memoirs follow but Miki did that and MORE. It felt so much more personal and fleshed out than one would expect and before you know it, you’re halfway through the book when Lush is even formed.

Her writing style reminded me exactly of how she speaks and comes across in interviews I’ve seen and reading this felt unapologetically candid. I love that this was 100% her story from her POV and she didn’t shy away from speaking her mind. Miki did keep details to herself at times and made it very clear that she didn’t want to elaborate further on more sensitive topics and I totally respect that.

Reading about the history of one of my favorite bands was so interesting and made me appreciate them even more. It is also surprising to me how much they accomplished in the decade or so they were together!

As far as memoirs go, especially by a musician, this was definitely one of the best I’ve read. I took my time with this but still felt like I read it too quickly! 😭 Thankful that Miki shared her story and pieces of her life with the world ✨

[Nita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finished last night, happy tears, from a craft POV as an American I found some of the verb tensing etc confusing (probably my only “critique”?), hilarious anecdotes (police officers), so nostalgia inducing I immediately purchased a remastered vinyl of one of their albums then binged both Miki and Emma’s newer stuff on YouTube then jumped on the parallel nostalgia track/deLorean and WATCHED SOME ANNE OF GREEN GABLES #iykyk and I wonder if I never knew Miki was half Asian because at the time I didn’t realize (not really) that I was ? Who cares, I loved the honest humanity of this book, it’s a great model for a memoir whose narrator doesn’t feel sorry for or aggrandize themself despite objective reality that would forgive either. So glad she is back making music. Makes me want to metaphorically do the same. This is a diary entry not a review 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Pili Bonilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has to be the best music memoir ever written. Not because of the music (although I’m a very big fan), but because of the openness, honestly, emotionality, and rawness felt in every page. I empathize with Miki in every aspect, she made it so easy to do so. This book healed me in ways I was not expecting, I thank her for this.
The emotionality of Lush’s music is felt more honest after reading Fingers Crossed, this and watching Phil’s super 8 footage just makes the band feel like such a special occurrence. I feel very lucky to have discovered them and have connected so much with the music, with Miki, with everything.

Take me down
Down where their voices drown
Down where the only sound
Echoes for me

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was unfamiliar with Lush prior to reading this excellent memoir and will hopefully enjoy scrolling through their back catalogue.

The book is unashamedly upfront and it's refreshing not to be bombarded by glitzy rock and roll brags, which I've found is rare for a musicians autobiography.

I admire Miki's bravery in her writing by laying everything out for all to read, whether it be childhood trauma, relationship fuck ups or bad business decisions.

All in all, an entertaining, shocking and moving read which only adds to my ongoing distain for the questionable era of britpop and its celebrated heroes such as Blur and Oasis.

[Louis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really only knew one or two Lush songs before reading this, but that didn't matter. This autobiography functions as a deep character study, as nostalgia for a period in music, a warning, a story of survival and a tale of hope. I found it hard to read without feeling for Miki and it's heartening that in the end she seems to have found some measure of peace, love and stability.

I'm sure it works in different ways for Lush fans , but I'd recommend it for anyone, even just as a glimpse into the life of a fascinating person, and a study of a time and place.

[Daisy Avis · Rating 4 out of 5]

A chaotic and candid insight into life as a mid-level 90s shoegaze band. I enjoyed the balance between moments of glamour and the quotidian grind of the ‘rock star’ lifestyle. Berenyi is beautifully honest and relaxed in her writing. Reminded me a lot of the riot grrrl ethos.
The book took a minute to get going but was a delight once I was in.

[Jonas Paro · Rating 4 out of 5]

”I fucking hate Britpop and I’m glad the whole sorry shit-fest ended up imploding”

Om att växa upp i en dysfunktionell familj, att vara alternativ tonåring i 80-talets England, att grunda och medverka i ett band som aldrig blev så stora som de förtjänade och ett och annat avslöjande om mer eller mindre svinaktiga kollegor i branschen.

Stark fyra.

[Peter · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best music memoir I've ever read. It's personal without being overly insular, and honest without being nasty.

[Katelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love, love, love Lush. I love this memoir.