I Drink Coffee and Make Shit Up

by Baer Charlton

Unlike the hundreds of how-to books, Mr. Charlton leads us down a winding path leading to being a writer. Irreverent at times and solemn at others, he lays out his pratfalls of growing up but never mocks. His explanations are clear and concise. His short stories entertain but are there to draw from.This unique meandering through a writer's mind answers one of the essential questions writers answer in "How do you come up with _______?"Charlton introduces us to his formative people, explaining how he drew from each person to produce specific characters or circumstances. Consider this a cipher or companion handbook to his books. In his lectures on writing, Mr. Charlton explains writing dense or contextually rich novels that are not a drudgery to read. In his mysteries, he drops clues like a flirtatious southern lady would drop her handkerchief. Even the most innocent offhanded reference should never be a throwaway line. Throwaway lines are indirectly filler or fluff. In this day of expensive printing, word count should be the last bloviated fixture in a novel. Learning to write concise should be the goal of every writer. Charlton discusses writing to the changing word counts in journalism, or even to an exact word count for a contest. His writing exercises are merely for self-examination.He uses his family as a collection of tools and information about the varieties of family undercurrents. Ozzie and Harriet were good for thirty-minutes each week in the fifties but became tediously plebian for a novel-especially in a mystery or thriller. Better to substitute Ozzy Osbourne for the paternal role. Once he shows his lessons of youth, Mr. Charlton interjects some of his favorite short stories. These are the stories he uses as lessons, building characters real enough for them to snatch the storytelling from the writer and reveal the story, which is only theirs to tell.Characters, storytelling, novels, or movies will never be the same again. As Charlton loves to point out-not all mysteries are murders, and not all murders are mysteries.

236 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 27, 2022

About the author

Baer Charlton, an Amazon best selling author, was degreed as a Social-Anthropologist by the University of California at Irvine. His many interests have led him around the world in search of different and unique.
As an internationally recognized Photo Journalist, he has tracked mountain gorillas, been a podium for a Barbary Ape, communicated in sign language with an Orangutan named Boolon, kissed a kangaroo and many wild experiences in between. Or he was just monkeying around.

His love for sailing has led him to file assignments from various countries, as well as from the middle of the Atlantic Ocean aboard a five-mast sailing ship. Baer has lectured and spoken on five continents, plus lecturing at sea.

His copyrighted logo is “WR1T3R”. The idea is within every person, there is a story. But inside that story, is even a more memorable story. Those are the stories he likes to tell.
There is no more complex and wonderful story than the ones that come from human experience. Mr. Charlton’s stories are all driven by the characters you come to think of as friends.

Reviews

[Dread · Rating 4 out of 5]

Liked it

The writer in me liked it. The story teller in me liked it. The artist in me liked it. That biker personality in me liked it. The selfish wanker in me thought it was so-so. Four out of five ain't bad.