3,5 stars
I loved a lot of things about this book (like the writing) but unfortunately by the time I reached the end I didn’t feel like I got to read the story as a complete journey. Meaning there were a lot of pieces missing. Not plot wise necessarily (although the ending did need more plot and explanation) but more in the sense that those two needed to communicate more.
I felt like a lot of what they “communicated” was implied, or was thought about but never discussed. A lot of it was glossed over because the characters “figured it out” on their own without the input of the other person etc.
They just never had a honest, open conversation. Just a lot of stilted dialogue after which they kind of went over it again in their heads and “realised stuff”. And while that’s fun to read when we begin a book, if we reach 90% and they’re still doing that, I’m not satisfied.
On the surface I liked the idea: a man obsessed, a girl who hates the life and body she inhabits, both with psychological issues of some kind - hers with the eating disorder and his with the unhealthy obsession he has with her.
I don’t really like that he had nothing else to identify him by other than his absolute obsession with Zita. He became obsessed with a girl he knew nothing about and for years he observed her as much as he could. Now, this is a romance book and so it’s not that bad but realistically speaking, he spent his formative years making up this idea of her in his head and seeing her as perfect in spite of her flaws. He worked towards everything he has just so he could one day get the girl. And fine, it doesn’t sound that bad. But I would have loved to know Nicky as a person individually. What he would want despite Zita. How he thinks, how he sees his life going. What kind of passions would he develop? I don’t know, it felt very much like his whole life he had nothing so he hung on to the idea of Zita like she was his personal God and he prayed as her altar and not in a romantic but in a rehearsed way. He was clearly smart, ambitious, capable, handsome and I could go on but I felt like he didn’t see any of those things.
As for Zita, I don’t blame her for being reticent and cold towards him. That whole situation she was in, plus her life so far really taught her to hate and distrust the men in her life and really, the situation with Nicky only reinforced that idea. I mean, the guys in the organisation and her own cousins, used her in order to make Nicky do their bidding. They were literally actioning off details about her life, about her likes, dislikes, comings and goings, like she was an object under the microscope, all so that they could make use of Nicky. I would have probably been even more enraged that Zita was. And it wasn’t like Nicky communicated that much either. He knew her, knew about her but I don’t think he really knew her and the worst is that he didn't realise this. She would throwaway such a comment but he didn't really give it value because he thought he knew everything of importance about her.
Her deep hatred of that life in the mafia, of being used, of not having value. That was at the core of her eating disorder as well and the way he went about it, it really drove the point home that she was an object to barter and her value was ornamental or transactional. The way Luca spoke to her like he owned her. Threatened her family if she didn’t whore herself out basically. And the man who started all this - was Nicky. He wanted her but he didn't understand how much was tearing her down by playing the mafia system to get her instead of just trying to win her as a man outside of it. His obsession only made her a target, a chess piece to move on a board. I understood her rage so well. Her doubts, her struggles. Having someone obsessed with us is not the same as feeling loved and cared for and understood and I think that’s where this book failed to make the distinction.
Another major issue I had is that Nicky didn't give Lucca his due. Yes, Zita put a bullet in him (non fatal) but it didn't satisfy me, I still felt like Lucca won. For years he used Nicky and Zita and in the end he still won. I wanted to serve him some humiliation. I wanted him to get his empire taken from him. I wanted him to experience on his own skin how it feels to be truly helpless.
And what I didn’t get about that whole Lucca situation is the fact that in the first book he appeared to be smart and cunning so how did he figure that it was alright to do what he did to Zita and that it would be fine with Nicky? I didn’t get that and it’s a major plot hole.
I understand Lucca is going to have a book with some girl named Sara and Tomas, an MMF situation of sorts. And while I would usually love to read further in the series and to see villains change their ways and repent some of their actions or at least understand their actions, I don’t think I wanna read about Lucca.
I don’t know what it was, but I didn’t like him much in the first book and I abhorred him in this one. As opposed to Dario, who would have no compulsion about doing the same things as Lucca, with him it’s just worse because it’s not clinical, or analytical or unfeeling. Lucca did that disgusting shit because he could use a random, innocent girl to further his ambitions. And while Dario (from the first book) would have no problem hurting and using women, he is just smarter, more capable and wouldn’t need such tactics- that’s for weak men.
Men who do that are beyond disgusting and irredeemable. You think yourself powerful and intelligent and yet you can’t do more than intimidate, abuse and use a young girl so that you can line your pockets!? Bleah. What kind of mafioso are you?
So all this to say, I’m not gonna touch his book unless maybe a few years go by and my rage dissipates enough to let my curiosity win over.