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Am I Trans Enough? How to Overcome Your Doubts and Find Your Authentic Self
Am I Trans Enough? The answer is undoubtably yes. You are.
Alo Johnston has been where you are. From watching every transition story on YouTube and navigating online message boards for answers to finally starting testosterone and transitioning himself, he now walks alongside you every step of the way to guide you towards acceptance of who you truly are.
Born out of thousands of hours of research and conversations with hundreds of trans people, Am I Trans Enough? digs deep into internalized transphobia and the historical narratives that fuel it. It unveils what happens after you come out, or begin questioning living as a trans person, in a world that works against you.
Use this book as a space to engage with your fears and explore your doubts without the pressure of needing to be a perfect trans representative. If you are just beginning your trans journey, are twenty years into transition or have no idea if you are even trans at all, this book will help you to become your most authentic self.
Alo Johnston has been where you are. From watching every transition story on YouTube and navigating online message boards for answers to finally starting testosterone and transitioning himself, he now walks alongside you every step of the way to guide you towards acceptance of who you truly are.
Born out of thousands of hours of research and conversations with hundreds of trans people, Am I Trans Enough? digs deep into internalized transphobia and the historical narratives that fuel it. It unveils what happens after you come out, or begin questioning living as a trans person, in a world that works against you.
Use this book as a space to engage with your fears and explore your doubts without the pressure of needing to be a perfect trans representative. If you are just beginning your trans journey, are twenty years into transition or have no idea if you are even trans at all, this book will help you to become your most authentic self.
224 pages, Paperback
Published February 21, 2023
49 people are currently reading
579 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
October 20, 2022
"We are made up of the stories that we are told, and the stories we tell ourselves. We are made up of new stories, and ones that have been handed down for generations."
Alo Johnston (he/him; @thetranstherapist on Instagram) debuts with "Am I Trans Enough?", a non-fiction, divulgative text that aims to offer insight into many concerns and obstacles trans* people might find in their journey to embracing their authentic selves.
In the span of 24 chapters, Johnston covers different topics related to transness: from the process of realising that one is trans*, and the different alternatives available for transitioning, to how the rigid gender binary model enforced by current Western societies impacts the mental health and well-being of trans* people from the moment they begin to differ from what's expected of them according to the gender they were assigned at birth. There's also a revision of the history of transness in our culture, including the hot topic of how transness is still included in the DSM system, and a glance at the trans feminine, trans masculine, and non-binary trans* experiences separately. Overall, this work provides a complete and nuanced look at transness, and provides a safe space for anyone who's wondering whether they might not be cis to learn more about themselves, and find answers to many questions they might have.
As a cis ally, I found this book to be an absolute gem, and I would recommend it to everyone - not just trans* and questioning people. It shows that it was written by a specialised therapist, since the clinical language was really accessible, but also kept objective and scientific. The chapters that dealt with mental health were excellently explained, as well as really kind. The whole book felt like a safe place, in which Johnston grabs the reader by the hand and affectionately explains different sides of the trans* experience. That's not to say that everything is rainbows and glitter, since there's also a really justified, really clear component of social denounce and critical review of many transphobic statements, realities, and attitudes. In this specific area, I was delighted to read a critical revision of TERF ideologies and of the way transphobia is starting to strip cis women, too, of hard-earned equality and autonomy.
All in all, this book was absolutely extraordinary. Definitely a must-read.
February 25, 2023
You know, I don’t really think I ever asked myself this question after the one sleepless Sunday night I spent wrestling with it. I jest, of course. Kind of. I think for me my understanding of my transness was sneaky. It kind of grew in my subconscious for years until it burst forth, fully formed, and once I accepted it, everything else happened all at once. Nevertheless, Am I Trans Enough: How to Overcome Your Doubts and Find Your Authentic Self still had some cool insights for me, and I suspect the research, ideas, and questions Alo Johnston has brought together in this book will be helpful for many a trans or questioning person. Thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley for the eARC.
This is a surprisingly comprehensive book! I say surprisingly because I wasn’t sure it was possible to pull off a feat like this until Johnston did it. Am I Trans Enough? comprises four parts: “The Personal and Philosophy,” “Context and History,” “Mental Health,” and “Interpersonal.” You know how much I love good organization, and this book has that down: each one of these parts is necessary and thoughtful in the exploration of this topic. Johnston begins by asking the reader, who presumably might be questioning their gender identity, to consider how we think of gender in relation to ourselves. From there, he branches into the wider idea of gender as a social construct. Next, a crucial discussion of how gender nonconformity and transition can affect one’s mental health, especially given the transphobic state of our society. Finally, a part that discusses what transition and coming out means for your relationships with others.
One of the things I love most about this book is how it doesn’t focus much on medical transition. Of course Johnstone mentions both hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgery throughout the book. However, these are always in service of a wider discussion of transition that firmly grounds it in a social context. This is valuable, in my opinion, for three reasons. First, it discourages what’s known as transmedicalization, this idea that you are only “trans enough” if you pursue a certain level of medical transition. Second, it pushes back against the cisnormative narrative that always focuses on medical transition when we talk about trans people. Third, it reminds us that gender-affirming medical care is only one piece of the puzzle. Yes, it is essential for many trans people—including me!—but when we look to hormones or the like as a panacea for all of our mental health issues or questions about gender, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment.
Along these lines, probably my favourite chapter is “The Paradox of Transition.” In it, Johnston reflects on how most trans people would love to say that we are only transitioning for ourselves, but the reality is much more complicated. I feel this, oof. I’m approaching my third anniversary of coming out as trans and pondering what I want to write about to mark the occasion. Though I don’t question whether I am trans enough, I still struggle to explain sometimes why I went from (as an external observer might see it) being comfortable calling myself cis for thirty years to deciding to transition overnight. It is, of course, more complicated than that, and this is what Johnston gets at in this chapter. I love how he discusses how the pandemic belied the popular desire among many transitioning people to go off and transition on a desert island—I have blogged about that as well.
In particular, this paragraph stands out for me:
Louder for the people at the back, please!
This is what I have tried to articulate time and again, on my personal blog and in discussions with others about my transition. The piece of the puzzle that burst the dam I had subconsciously built around my gender identity was the realization that I didn’t want to be “one of the girls” in an honourary sense; I wanted to be one of the girls. This flip of a switch from metaphorical to literal was all it took for my resistance to being trans to crumble—seemingly overnight, as I said earlier—because, as Johnston puts it so well in that quote, it’s all about relations. It’s why I needed to socially transition rather than just start wearing cute dresses while still calling myself a man; it’s why the cute dresses make me feel good about myself even though I am a woman regardless of what I wear.
In terms of knowledge levels, this book eschews quite a bit of the standard “trans 101” that you might find in similar texts. However, it remains accessible to someone who hasn’t read a lot of books about being transgender. Some later chapters discuss, respectively, the experience of being nonbinary, a trans woman, or a trans man, and I think a lot of people who are much newer to the language and concepts around transness will benefit from those chapters especially.
Of course, even though this framing includes nonbinary people loudly and on the same footing as transfeminine and transmasculine people, it’s still somewhat problematic in the way it kind of creates what I call the “bumpy gender binary,” where nonbinary becomes an “other” category outside of a trans experience that otherwise replicates and reinforces the binary. Johnston acknowledges early in the book that his perspective is a limited, Western one. So it’s important to seek out voices that write about nonbinary experiences outside of that sphere—this publisher has such an anthology, and there are others out there. This is not a critique of Am I Trans Enough? so much as an observation of a limitation it has already acknowledged.
What about readers who are pretty certain they are cis? Am I Trans Enough? might still be a beneficial read. You are not Johnston’s intended audience, but you would still learn a lot about how to look at and explore gender. Even if you are confident you are cisgender, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spend time examining what that means for you. However, there are probably other books out there that will do a better job of guiding you on that journey, just as there are probably better books to learn about trans experiences, ones that are speaking to an audience that includes cis people.
This is a book firmly written for trans people, by a trans author who is also a therapist, grounded firmly in theory and praxis. It gets you thinking. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it to anyone who comes to me expressing questions about their gender.
Originally posted on Kara.Reviews, where you can easily browse all my reviews and subscribe to my newsletter.
This is a surprisingly comprehensive book! I say surprisingly because I wasn’t sure it was possible to pull off a feat like this until Johnston did it. Am I Trans Enough? comprises four parts: “The Personal and Philosophy,” “Context and History,” “Mental Health,” and “Interpersonal.” You know how much I love good organization, and this book has that down: each one of these parts is necessary and thoughtful in the exploration of this topic. Johnston begins by asking the reader, who presumably might be questioning their gender identity, to consider how we think of gender in relation to ourselves. From there, he branches into the wider idea of gender as a social construct. Next, a crucial discussion of how gender nonconformity and transition can affect one’s mental health, especially given the transphobic state of our society. Finally, a part that discusses what transition and coming out means for your relationships with others.
One of the things I love most about this book is how it doesn’t focus much on medical transition. Of course Johnstone mentions both hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgery throughout the book. However, these are always in service of a wider discussion of transition that firmly grounds it in a social context. This is valuable, in my opinion, for three reasons. First, it discourages what’s known as transmedicalization, this idea that you are only “trans enough” if you pursue a certain level of medical transition. Second, it pushes back against the cisnormative narrative that always focuses on medical transition when we talk about trans people. Third, it reminds us that gender-affirming medical care is only one piece of the puzzle. Yes, it is essential for many trans people—including me!—but when we look to hormones or the like as a panacea for all of our mental health issues or questions about gender, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment.
Along these lines, probably my favourite chapter is “The Paradox of Transition.” In it, Johnston reflects on how most trans people would love to say that we are only transitioning for ourselves, but the reality is much more complicated. I feel this, oof. I’m approaching my third anniversary of coming out as trans and pondering what I want to write about to mark the occasion. Though I don’t question whether I am trans enough, I still struggle to explain sometimes why I went from (as an external observer might see it) being comfortable calling myself cis for thirty years to deciding to transition overnight. It is, of course, more complicated than that, and this is what Johnston gets at in this chapter. I love how he discusses how the pandemic belied the popular desire among many transitioning people to go off and transition on a desert island—I have blogged about that as well.
In particular, this paragraph stands out for me:
The fantasy of complete self-reliance also assumes there is a “true gender” deep down, past the reach of our interactions and relationships. There is no objective, pure, internal self that exists outside of the relationships that form us and help us thrive. We are relational, and our genders are relational too.
Louder for the people at the back, please!
This is what I have tried to articulate time and again, on my personal blog and in discussions with others about my transition. The piece of the puzzle that burst the dam I had subconsciously built around my gender identity was the realization that I didn’t want to be “one of the girls” in an honourary sense; I wanted to be one of the girls. This flip of a switch from metaphorical to literal was all it took for my resistance to being trans to crumble—seemingly overnight, as I said earlier—because, as Johnston puts it so well in that quote, it’s all about relations. It’s why I needed to socially transition rather than just start wearing cute dresses while still calling myself a man; it’s why the cute dresses make me feel good about myself even though I am a woman regardless of what I wear.
In terms of knowledge levels, this book eschews quite a bit of the standard “trans 101” that you might find in similar texts. However, it remains accessible to someone who hasn’t read a lot of books about being transgender. Some later chapters discuss, respectively, the experience of being nonbinary, a trans woman, or a trans man, and I think a lot of people who are much newer to the language and concepts around transness will benefit from those chapters especially.
Of course, even though this framing includes nonbinary people loudly and on the same footing as transfeminine and transmasculine people, it’s still somewhat problematic in the way it kind of creates what I call the “bumpy gender binary,” where nonbinary becomes an “other” category outside of a trans experience that otherwise replicates and reinforces the binary. Johnston acknowledges early in the book that his perspective is a limited, Western one. So it’s important to seek out voices that write about nonbinary experiences outside of that sphere—this publisher has such an anthology, and there are others out there. This is not a critique of Am I Trans Enough? so much as an observation of a limitation it has already acknowledged.
What about readers who are pretty certain they are cis? Am I Trans Enough? might still be a beneficial read. You are not Johnston’s intended audience, but you would still learn a lot about how to look at and explore gender. Even if you are confident you are cisgender, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spend time examining what that means for you. However, there are probably other books out there that will do a better job of guiding you on that journey, just as there are probably better books to learn about trans experiences, ones that are speaking to an audience that includes cis people.
This is a book firmly written for trans people, by a trans author who is also a therapist, grounded firmly in theory and praxis. It gets you thinking. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it to anyone who comes to me expressing questions about their gender.
Originally posted on Kara.Reviews, where you can easily browse all my reviews and subscribe to my newsletter.
June 18, 2023
4,5/5 Ik had niet verwacht dat er nog nieuwe dingen zouden worden gezegd in dit boek, maar dat deed dit boek wel. Het is allemaal heel duidelijk en begrijpelijk opgeschreven.
Vooral hoofdstuk 5 over de paradox van transitie en hoofdstuk 7 over verantwoordelijkheid vond ik goed. Ook het nawoord waarin de schrijver zegt dat je erachter komt of je trans bent of niet door te doen klopt precies met mijn ervaring.
Vooral hoofdstuk 5 over de paradox van transitie en hoofdstuk 7 over verantwoordelijkheid vond ik goed. Ook het nawoord waarin de schrijver zegt dat je erachter komt of je trans bent of niet door te doen klopt precies met mijn ervaring.
April 29, 2023
I really enjoyed this. It was informative and affirming - I appreciated how the author spoke directly to the reader, and really understood their experiences (the author is trans + a therapist!!) I remember having issues at the beginning with the author being very black and white and giving no room for ambiguity - can't remember what it was now so probably not that important. My favorite sections were the mental health and interpersonal ones, they were nichely relatable? Would def recommend to a trans person (of any stage of transition), or a cis person who really wants to be a good ally😁 4.5 ⭐
October 17, 2022
This book has a wonderful premise. It's meant to show that there's no such thing as "trans enough." No matter how you identify, you are enough. I was excited to read this book, as someone who identifies as gender queer. However, if I'm honest, I struggled with this book. There were parts I could perk up about and loved, but mostly it was drier than I'd hoped. It was equal parts inspiring and boring. The facts and figures dragged me down. I think the message is excellent and would recommend for those who don't feel "enough."
September 30, 2025
Reading this book as a trans person felt like a warm hug. The book covers a lot of topics and is written in a very simple way, so everybody can understand it. It's a great read for whenever you doubt yourself or struggle with something gender related. It’s empowering and reassuring.
January 6, 2023
I received an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
4.25 stars
I read this book while struggling with a modified version of the title. "Am I nonbinary enough" was the specific question I struggled with. The general; "am I trans enough" I have been able to confidenily answer yes to. Living as an out trans man for 4 years has been great and feel confident in my trans identity. However lately I have been thinking if I might not be a trans man, but maybe a nonbinary trans person. With this I especially struggled with my first named question.
Thus, I picked up this book in the hope it could help me and give me an answer, and it did.
The biggest things this book did for me was dismantle my internalized transphobia and let go of any expectations of any label I might consider.
This book was very good at showing different angles of different trans people. There were some parts that made me feel very seen and accepted. But others that showed me trans people I didn't much understand before. The book then however explains potential reasons why such trans people might be like that and why it would maybe be interesting for you to consider. A good example was a part where it explained why some trans men might be into femininization in the bedroom. From my perspective as a transmasculine person I never understood such things, to the point it often made me frustrated when I was having some time alone. The book however explains really well how engaging in such behavior as a trans masculine person gives you authority back on your feminine side and a could also be a way to reclaim it. My own relationship with femininity is troubled. I love skirts, but don't really dare to wear one, even though when I try I don't have much dysphoria. I very strongly feel the need to prove I'm a manly man. While I definitely am not a manly man. During this book I was able to realize I would very much like to be a nonbinary man, or a gender nonconforming man. And by explaining so many sides of being trans I was able to understand others better, let go of my bias, and able to explore my own feelings.
By explaining things trans people do, or people who don't realize they're trans yet do, I was able to analyze a lot of my own previous behavior too. It explains how s some tans people have a phase of hyper masculinity or femininty. And it made me realize I did this. For both sides of the spectrum, and neither felt right. Hyper masculinity definitely felt more right, but as stated above, I'm realizing now that it doesn't fit me.
It also gave a lot of good tips on how to deal with transphobia when it was relevant to the chapters journey. I definitely picked up some things to use as an reply for any next time someone isn't being all too kind.
At the end of the book it comes back to the original question in the title. And while it doesn't answer the question literally, which would've been perfect as a solution, it cannot do that for you. However, the book does give you the tools to get there yourself.
4.25 stars
I read this book while struggling with a modified version of the title. "Am I nonbinary enough" was the specific question I struggled with. The general; "am I trans enough" I have been able to confidenily answer yes to. Living as an out trans man for 4 years has been great and feel confident in my trans identity. However lately I have been thinking if I might not be a trans man, but maybe a nonbinary trans person. With this I especially struggled with my first named question.
Thus, I picked up this book in the hope it could help me and give me an answer, and it did.
The biggest things this book did for me was dismantle my internalized transphobia and let go of any expectations of any label I might consider.
This book was very good at showing different angles of different trans people. There were some parts that made me feel very seen and accepted. But others that showed me trans people I didn't much understand before. The book then however explains potential reasons why such trans people might be like that and why it would maybe be interesting for you to consider. A good example was a part where it explained why some trans men might be into femininization in the bedroom. From my perspective as a transmasculine person I never understood such things, to the point it often made me frustrated when I was having some time alone. The book however explains really well how engaging in such behavior as a trans masculine person gives you authority back on your feminine side and a could also be a way to reclaim it. My own relationship with femininity is troubled. I love skirts, but don't really dare to wear one, even though when I try I don't have much dysphoria. I very strongly feel the need to prove I'm a manly man. While I definitely am not a manly man. During this book I was able to realize I would very much like to be a nonbinary man, or a gender nonconforming man. And by explaining so many sides of being trans I was able to understand others better, let go of my bias, and able to explore my own feelings.
By explaining things trans people do, or people who don't realize they're trans yet do, I was able to analyze a lot of my own previous behavior too. It explains how s some tans people have a phase of hyper masculinity or femininty. And it made me realize I did this. For both sides of the spectrum, and neither felt right. Hyper masculinity definitely felt more right, but as stated above, I'm realizing now that it doesn't fit me.
It also gave a lot of good tips on how to deal with transphobia when it was relevant to the chapters journey. I definitely picked up some things to use as an reply for any next time someone isn't being all too kind.
At the end of the book it comes back to the original question in the title. And while it doesn't answer the question literally, which would've been perfect as a solution, it cannot do that for you. However, the book does give you the tools to get there yourself.
March 30, 2023
I received an ARC and I’m leaving an honest review.
It’s very clear that this book was written by someone who knows what they’re talking about, and who tells it with care.
My favorite parts were the comparisons the author used to break down feelings and experiences. They all felt truthful and went right to the point (and despite the fact that I already knew most of the things we were talking about, those comparisons and metaphors helped me have a clearer picture as well).
I loved how we have different chapters for all the identities (nonbinary, trans woman and trans man), I appreciated how the examples and brief histories told also included BIPOC communities, and that in the "more resources" list at the end there aren't just trans books but books about mental health, autism and sexuality too.
I personally think this would be a great read for cis people as well. They would probably learn a lot from it.
It’s very clear that this book was written by someone who knows what they’re talking about, and who tells it with care.
My favorite parts were the comparisons the author used to break down feelings and experiences. They all felt truthful and went right to the point (and despite the fact that I already knew most of the things we were talking about, those comparisons and metaphors helped me have a clearer picture as well).
I loved how we have different chapters for all the identities (nonbinary, trans woman and trans man), I appreciated how the examples and brief histories told also included BIPOC communities, and that in the "more resources" list at the end there aren't just trans books but books about mental health, autism and sexuality too.
I personally think this would be a great read for cis people as well. They would probably learn a lot from it.
December 19, 2022
This book does exactly what the title suggests. For anyone who has asked the question 'Am I trans enough?' or who is questioning their gender identity even slightly, Alo Johnston offers a welcoming, inclusive, safe space in which to explore and come to know yourself better. I think this book would be especially helpful for older children, adolescents, or those who are early in their journey. I liked how the author takes time to indicate passages that might be best helpful for trans masculine, trans feminine, or nonbinary readers. For my personal preferences I was hoping for something that dug a little deeper, but I acknowledge that this isn't the purpose of the book, which is more to provide a starter guide and a jumping off point that remains well-rounded and accessible. I would encourage librarians to stock this book in schools, colleges, and universities.
disclaimer:I received an ARC of this book from Jessica Kingsley Publishers via Edelweiss+ and I am voluntarily leaving this honest review.
disclaimer:I received an ARC of this book from Jessica Kingsley Publishers via Edelweiss+ and I am voluntarily leaving this honest review.
January 18, 2023
This was a deeply personal read for me, as I'm sure it will be for a lot of people who pick up this delight of a book.
Growing up, the trans narratives that I was exposed to in the 2000s usually fell into two categories: trauma through either pain or humiliation, and surprise at 'passing' as cis (in which they were sexualised). Many depictions in the media involved cis people feeling 'betrayed' when someone disclosed that they were trans and feeling like they were 'lied to' because they weren't really the gender they presented as, and once a trans person was open about being trans, they were usually subjected to violence.
All the trans people I remember being depicted in the media when I was growing up (because this was my only exposure to trans people until I was about 15) were trans women. Transness was always viewed through a cis lens, and if a trans person did not look like they were cis, they were made fun of. The world has thankfully evolved a little since then, but it can still be difficult for a person to express their gender as they wish to, leading to more fears that they aren't trans enough because they're not doing enough to be trans. Being trans in a cisnormative society is hard, but this book gives hope that you can be trans no matter what other people think.
This book resonated with me so much because it reflected my experiences growing up and growing into my gender identity. Being under the trans umbrella but not feeling like I can claim being trans because I don't identify as a binary gender is something I have struggled with for years. My exposure to transness solely being transmen or transwomen who wanted to both socially and medically transition made me feel like I couldn't be trans. I knew I wasn't cis, but if I couldn't be trans either then what was I? It prevented me from feeling comfortable for years as I didn't know where I fit in. I felt as though I couldn't use the pronouns I wanted to because I wasn't trans enough to do so .It set me back years and I'm sure other people who pick up this book and have either questioned their identity in the past, or are currently doing so, will also be able to identify with.
This book is viewing identity from a trans gaze and providing acceptance for those who may not have had it in the past. Whilst the target audience is primarily people under the trans umbrella, cis allies may also enjoy this as an insight into the anxieties that some trans people have regarding their gender identity and expression. It covers a variety of topics and challenges why people think they may not be trans enough to call themselves trans and how this can be helped.
This book is magic.
Yes, you are trans enough.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Only you can know how you feel.
Growing up, the trans narratives that I was exposed to in the 2000s usually fell into two categories: trauma through either pain or humiliation, and surprise at 'passing' as cis (in which they were sexualised). Many depictions in the media involved cis people feeling 'betrayed' when someone disclosed that they were trans and feeling like they were 'lied to' because they weren't really the gender they presented as, and once a trans person was open about being trans, they were usually subjected to violence.
All the trans people I remember being depicted in the media when I was growing up (because this was my only exposure to trans people until I was about 15) were trans women. Transness was always viewed through a cis lens, and if a trans person did not look like they were cis, they were made fun of. The world has thankfully evolved a little since then, but it can still be difficult for a person to express their gender as they wish to, leading to more fears that they aren't trans enough because they're not doing enough to be trans. Being trans in a cisnormative society is hard, but this book gives hope that you can be trans no matter what other people think.
This book resonated with me so much because it reflected my experiences growing up and growing into my gender identity. Being under the trans umbrella but not feeling like I can claim being trans because I don't identify as a binary gender is something I have struggled with for years. My exposure to transness solely being transmen or transwomen who wanted to both socially and medically transition made me feel like I couldn't be trans. I knew I wasn't cis, but if I couldn't be trans either then what was I? It prevented me from feeling comfortable for years as I didn't know where I fit in. I felt as though I couldn't use the pronouns I wanted to because I wasn't trans enough to do so .It set me back years and I'm sure other people who pick up this book and have either questioned their identity in the past, or are currently doing so, will also be able to identify with.
This book is viewing identity from a trans gaze and providing acceptance for those who may not have had it in the past. Whilst the target audience is primarily people under the trans umbrella, cis allies may also enjoy this as an insight into the anxieties that some trans people have regarding their gender identity and expression. It covers a variety of topics and challenges why people think they may not be trans enough to call themselves trans and how this can be helped.
This book is magic.
Yes, you are trans enough.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Only you can know how you feel.
March 16, 2025
This is a good book and I would have really benefited from this more if it was written when I came out, nearly 11 years ago now. It was recommended to me by a friend, who is a similar age to me and hasn’t been out for as long as me. We’ve both taken something from this book. Him loads, me not as much, since a lot of the things discussed I have already been aware of.
Interestingly, upon reading the last page It dawned on me that what is holding me back is not because I feel that “I am not trans enough” I actually feel like I am not the perfect son and the story behind that is far too complex and complicated to explain here. I think what I was looking for when I first heard about this book was that my internal sense of gender would be solved. The struggle between my transness juxtaposed against my very cisproximal experience of the world is a very difficult path to navigate since I do not feel that I belong in queer spaces or the cishet world because I either pass so well that it’s a point of envy among my trans male peers or I’m too successful at male beauty standards that I become threatening and again the subject of envy to cis men. I want to break free from this and transcend expectations.
All I can really do here is be myself, that seems to be the answer, but a difficult thing to do.
Interestingly, upon reading the last page It dawned on me that what is holding me back is not because I feel that “I am not trans enough” I actually feel like I am not the perfect son and the story behind that is far too complex and complicated to explain here. I think what I was looking for when I first heard about this book was that my internal sense of gender would be solved. The struggle between my transness juxtaposed against my very cisproximal experience of the world is a very difficult path to navigate since I do not feel that I belong in queer spaces or the cishet world because I either pass so well that it’s a point of envy among my trans male peers or I’m too successful at male beauty standards that I become threatening and again the subject of envy to cis men. I want to break free from this and transcend expectations.
All I can really do here is be myself, that seems to be the answer, but a difficult thing to do.
October 19, 2022
Am I Trans Enough is a short read geared towards helping folks who are questioning their gender identity as well as new to transitioning. The way the author describes their experiences with the challenges surrounding being Trans from coming out, to wide spectrum of gender affirming care, and dealing with the world around you, was both relatable and heartwarming as someone who has been out for a while.
I would have loved to read something like this at the beginning of my journey, and I'd reccomend this book for anyone who is in need of some reassurance, and I think it could be helpful for someone who doesn't know a lot about being Trans but might have a loved one who is. Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for providing me a with an ARC to review. All thoughts expressed are my own.
I would have loved to read something like this at the beginning of my journey, and I'd reccomend this book for anyone who is in need of some reassurance, and I think it could be helpful for someone who doesn't know a lot about being Trans but might have a loved one who is. Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for providing me a with an ARC to review. All thoughts expressed are my own.
March 13, 2023
Thanks to NetGalley for the arc!
'Am I Trans Enough' by Alo Johnston is a beautiful book. I've been reading quite some LGTBQ+ self-help books the last few months, but this one is definitely one of my favourites. Of course, I can't speak for the trans community, since I'm a cis female myself, but for me it worked really well. I have been trying to educate myself about non-binary, trans and other people and this book did a lot for me. I learned some crucial things about being trans that I'm ashamed to say I never knew - probably the reason I felt the need to educate myself oops. I liked that the different chapters focused on different aspects of being trans, I like when books are clear like that. Definitely recommend!
'Am I Trans Enough' by Alo Johnston is a beautiful book. I've been reading quite some LGTBQ+ self-help books the last few months, but this one is definitely one of my favourites. Of course, I can't speak for the trans community, since I'm a cis female myself, but for me it worked really well. I have been trying to educate myself about non-binary, trans and other people and this book did a lot for me. I learned some crucial things about being trans that I'm ashamed to say I never knew - probably the reason I felt the need to educate myself oops. I liked that the different chapters focused on different aspects of being trans, I like when books are clear like that. Definitely recommend!
October 20, 2025
este ha sido el primer libro sobre temática trans que me empecé, aunque al final lo he terminado después que otro jajajajajsjs
empezó siendo mucho justo por eso, porque nunca había leído nada antes, pero después la cosa se volvió bastante pesada
tiene muchas páginas que se sientes repetitivas y como el autor es terapeuta a veces cuida en exceso de decir cada dos por tres que seas amable contigo mismo y dar demasiados ejemplos
en fin, lo recomiendo para entender mejor a la comunidad trans y el tipo de ralladas y piruetas mentales que tenemos
a la gente trans se lo recomendaría si están al inicio de su transición o en un momento en el que están siendo muy crueles consigo mismes
empezó siendo mucho justo por eso, porque nunca había leído nada antes, pero después la cosa se volvió bastante pesada
tiene muchas páginas que se sientes repetitivas y como el autor es terapeuta a veces cuida en exceso de decir cada dos por tres que seas amable contigo mismo y dar demasiados ejemplos
en fin, lo recomiendo para entender mejor a la comunidad trans y el tipo de ralladas y piruetas mentales que tenemos
a la gente trans se lo recomendaría si están al inicio de su transición o en un momento en el que están siendo muy crueles consigo mismes
June 12, 2023
devoured this at a frankly annoying pace. girlies it’s nothing you wouldn’t already know but probably a good like “ooh so this is what it’s like” for cisfolk. also transness is about hammering shit into your head for the 1000th time while you continue to question if you want HRT or not so honestly wtv lmao it’s fine if you don’t reinvent the wheel.
February 14, 2025
important and educational and perspective shifting. and one of the most fantastic chapters on grief that I have ever read! my growth and education around the experience of trans folks will never be complete, and this is a great place for anyone questioning their trans identity or seeking to become a more compassionate and informed ally.
April 4, 2023
You ARE trans enough <3 🏳️⚧️
February 11, 2024
a very comprehensive and content heavy guide to the trans experience. probably wasn't what i was really in the headspace to read at the moment, but it is definitely helpful and necessary.
August 17, 2025
the universe sent me this book!
August 21, 2025
Found it helpful throughout many parts of gender questioning.
August 28, 2023
What a marvelous contribution to the trans and queer community! The author’s voice is gentle, experienced, clear and comprehensive with a dash of wit and humor. This is the book I wish I read a decade ago— would have saved me a lot of questioning and self hate. What am I saying, I cried while reading it and feel like I understand my trans self better. I literally have two copies so I can lend one out to friends. If you want to know more about yourself and about how society structures gender, buy two!!
June 23, 2023
This book felt like it was written specifically for me. An excellent resource for anyone who is working through their gender identity.
February 28, 2025
This book felt like all the things that should have been said when I first came out at 14, hugging me close as I sobbed, scared and confused, stroking at my back, slowly coaxing out the fear and telling me it's okay to feel this way, and it can and will be okay. You're allowed to be trans.
October 1, 2022
This was an astounding, compassionate and crucial read. It is incredibly informative and well-written and is a compelling read throughout. This book covers a vast array of topics under transitioning and trans identity and self-acceptance and has an abundance of perspective. This was a fantastic read that is incredibly needed.
March 25, 2024
I fully expected to roll my eyes at this book: Am I trans enough (the answer, of course, is Yes! A million times yes! No matter where you are on the questioning spectrum, you are always, and for evermore, 'trans' enough!)
But I wanted to address the book more seriously when the author was willing to state that no one, ever, is sure. And personally, I think it makes absolute sense that this author finally bit the bullet and started testosterone. They spent 5 years ruminating on the idea! So, in many ways, just doing it meant they could move on to other goals in their life. After all, desisting is an internal, mental state - one that Alo Johnston must have reached numerous times over the years (p.13 "maybe I was just pinning all of my hopes on this one thing... maybe I just wanted to be trans because at least then I would have a path forward.") The only concrete action possible after Thinking About Being Trans is doing something about it.*
(*more on that later)
As you'd expect, the author is well versed in intersectionality. They are properly disdainful of colonialism, the inherent bias of those on top of the (current) hierarchy, and cultural appropriation - even realising where trans is vulnerable: p16 "I'm not like those real trans people with real dysphoria, so I'm probably appropriating the trans experience." Johnston has a point that the dominant culture (in this case: cis) uses assimilation to maintain their power and early transsexuals did indeed go that route, switching within the binary. Since this information was in the Internalized Transphobia chapter, it does beg the question though: is diagnosing the first trans people with internal transphobia a charitable view on these pioneers? Is it possible that the changes they made were not only beneficial to their well being and happiness, but something they actually wanted? In other words: weren't they trans enough?
I really appreciated that Johnston addressed the interconnectedness of desire and grief (p.94); that admitting your desire is also admitting your grief at not having/being the things you want. This is a very human condition. And even though Johnston encourages the reader to feel that grief in longer and longer bursts, they follow that chapter with one on how depression and anxiety can become habit - so there does seem to be a contradiction in accessing that grief, but also not accessing it too much or too often. But there was an even more glaring contradiction in the chapters that admitted the fears of regret and detransition are real. To overcome the fear of regret, Johnston suggests itemising all the things that could go wrong and realising that these outcomes could occur naturally, even without transition, or that maybe they were meant to be. A very zen approach. "Try to hold this thought for as long as you can tolerate it. Perhaps whatever happens is exactly what had to happen. One more time: Perhaps whatever happens is exactly what had to happen." And yet the same Buddhist temperament could have applied to any number of other scenarios - even the scenario where a person chooses to remain with the body they were born with. Having a chapter entitled "The Illusion of Responsibility" and then arguing that no one is ever 'to blame' for their choices is a weird way to frame a decision-making process.
Johnson claims that one of our dominant narratives (p.25) is: bodies determine gender, which determine gender roles, which determine destiny. But this is not borne out in our modern world! Fixed gender roles may have been the norm in the 1950s, but today, men and women do most of the same things (with the obvious exception of pregnancy and breast feeding); they have equal standing in society and government. When Johnston states "gender doesn't equal destiny," I wholeheartedly agree. Most of the western world agrees. But doesn't it also follow that gender now loses (at least some) importance? A person's name doesn't equal destiny. Nor their religion, or their favourite restaurant. Gender get demoted to a label, or a personality trait - an inconsequential category.
Sadly, Johnston is woefully under-informed in many parts of the book: confidently stating, without supporting footnotes of course, that puberty blockers are immensely safe and not permanent. They, of course, repeat the suicide myth (which is an audacious move when they equally claim that suicidal thoughts are an acceptable coping mechanism (pg107 If you have suicidal thoughts, then you have spent years needing those suicidal thoughts) akin to playing videogames, talking to friends, or masturbating). And in a rare instance of footnoting an actual study, it was cherry picked data about gonadectomy regret from an Amsterdam gender clinic that not only utilises entirely different protocols than in the USA, but was an actual requirement to changing their legal sex.
At this point I confess I ran out of patience. For every statement Johnston made, there was a contradiction soon after. Very early on, Johnston ask one of the greatest question in the book: How do you assess your identity and then claim your decision? Are you even allowed to decide that for yourself?
So which is it - do we discover who we are, or tell ourselves who we are? And if we tell ourselves what we are, surely we can tell ourselves something new the next day. And if identity can be told to ourselves, where are the limits, or the anchors? How can identity be so integral to our being if it is shapeless.
Ultimately, this book is another permutation in the common-enough self-help genre: instead of 'mindfulness' or 'CBT' or 'self-care', this author uses 'trans' to tell the same story: we are all looking to gain (self) acceptance.
. . . . .
*if only there was an action, an equally valid physical undertaking that solidified the decision making process. but alas, there is not
But I wanted to address the book more seriously when the author was willing to state that no one, ever, is sure. And personally, I think it makes absolute sense that this author finally bit the bullet and started testosterone. They spent 5 years ruminating on the idea! So, in many ways, just doing it meant they could move on to other goals in their life. After all, desisting is an internal, mental state - one that Alo Johnston must have reached numerous times over the years (p.13 "maybe I was just pinning all of my hopes on this one thing... maybe I just wanted to be trans because at least then I would have a path forward.") The only concrete action possible after Thinking About Being Trans is doing something about it.*
(*more on that later)
As you'd expect, the author is well versed in intersectionality. They are properly disdainful of colonialism, the inherent bias of those on top of the (current) hierarchy, and cultural appropriation - even realising where trans is vulnerable: p16 "I'm not like those real trans people with real dysphoria, so I'm probably appropriating the trans experience." Johnston has a point that the dominant culture (in this case: cis) uses assimilation to maintain their power and early transsexuals did indeed go that route, switching within the binary. Since this information was in the Internalized Transphobia chapter, it does beg the question though: is diagnosing the first trans people with internal transphobia a charitable view on these pioneers? Is it possible that the changes they made were not only beneficial to their well being and happiness, but something they actually wanted? In other words: weren't they trans enough?
I really appreciated that Johnston addressed the interconnectedness of desire and grief (p.94); that admitting your desire is also admitting your grief at not having/being the things you want. This is a very human condition. And even though Johnston encourages the reader to feel that grief in longer and longer bursts, they follow that chapter with one on how depression and anxiety can become habit - so there does seem to be a contradiction in accessing that grief, but also not accessing it too much or too often. But there was an even more glaring contradiction in the chapters that admitted the fears of regret and detransition are real. To overcome the fear of regret, Johnston suggests itemising all the things that could go wrong and realising that these outcomes could occur naturally, even without transition, or that maybe they were meant to be. A very zen approach. "Try to hold this thought for as long as you can tolerate it. Perhaps whatever happens is exactly what had to happen. One more time: Perhaps whatever happens is exactly what had to happen." And yet the same Buddhist temperament could have applied to any number of other scenarios - even the scenario where a person chooses to remain with the body they were born with. Having a chapter entitled "The Illusion of Responsibility" and then arguing that no one is ever 'to blame' for their choices is a weird way to frame a decision-making process.
Johnson claims that one of our dominant narratives (p.25) is: bodies determine gender, which determine gender roles, which determine destiny. But this is not borne out in our modern world! Fixed gender roles may have been the norm in the 1950s, but today, men and women do most of the same things (with the obvious exception of pregnancy and breast feeding); they have equal standing in society and government. When Johnston states "gender doesn't equal destiny," I wholeheartedly agree. Most of the western world agrees. But doesn't it also follow that gender now loses (at least some) importance? A person's name doesn't equal destiny. Nor their religion, or their favourite restaurant. Gender get demoted to a label, or a personality trait - an inconsequential category.
Sadly, Johnston is woefully under-informed in many parts of the book: confidently stating, without supporting footnotes of course, that puberty blockers are immensely safe and not permanent. They, of course, repeat the suicide myth (which is an audacious move when they equally claim that suicidal thoughts are an acceptable coping mechanism (pg107 If you have suicidal thoughts, then you have spent years needing those suicidal thoughts) akin to playing videogames, talking to friends, or masturbating). And in a rare instance of footnoting an actual study, it was cherry picked data about gonadectomy regret from an Amsterdam gender clinic that not only utilises entirely different protocols than in the USA, but was an actual requirement to changing their legal sex.
At this point I confess I ran out of patience. For every statement Johnston made, there was a contradiction soon after. Very early on, Johnston ask one of the greatest question in the book: How do you assess your identity and then claim your decision? Are you even allowed to decide that for yourself?
So which is it - do we discover who we are, or tell ourselves who we are? And if we tell ourselves what we are, surely we can tell ourselves something new the next day. And if identity can be told to ourselves, where are the limits, or the anchors? How can identity be so integral to our being if it is shapeless.
Ultimately, this book is another permutation in the common-enough self-help genre: instead of 'mindfulness' or 'CBT' or 'self-care', this author uses 'trans' to tell the same story: we are all looking to gain (self) acceptance.
. . . . .
*if only there was an action, an equally valid physical undertaking that solidified the decision making process. but alas, there is not
February 12, 2023
[Disclaimer: I received a free e-copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest & unbiased review.]
First of all, let me say that I genuinely hope the ebook version of this title gets a lot of love prior to publication - because this formatting was a mess and actively detracted from my reading experience.
But that annoyance did not influence my rating. I think I mostly just found this book a little lackluster. Maybe it would be really fantastic for folks who are just starting to question their gender identity and if they are trans. But as a nonbinary/genderqueer individual who has existed within this identity for at least a handful of years… I didn’t really connect with much of it - and I’m honestly not sure I ever would have.
Maybe it’s because I have very rarely given much consideration to a bunch of transition-related options. I came out, I shared my pronouns, I dress a little differently. I’ve briefly considered testosterone and somewhat more seriously considered top surgery, but have currently decided that I’m okay with my body how it is. I was also already in a lot of Queer spaces with a lot of Queer friends. Sure, there have been some serious feels over the years pertaining to my identity and how others perceive or receive me, but I knew that it wasn’t going to completely change every aspect of my life.
So I think, in a rather humorous way, this book actually had the opposite effect on me; it had me feeling like I was NOT in fact trans enough. And that’s okay. It’s always been harder for me to identify as “trans” rather than “nonbinary” or simply “Queer.” And while I think I had hoped this book may change that and provide me with a better sense of belonging... I’m secure enough in my own identity to simply recognize that this particular title just didn’t end up being the right one for me.
First of all, let me say that I genuinely hope the ebook version of this title gets a lot of love prior to publication - because this formatting was a mess and actively detracted from my reading experience.
But that annoyance did not influence my rating. I think I mostly just found this book a little lackluster. Maybe it would be really fantastic for folks who are just starting to question their gender identity and if they are trans. But as a nonbinary/genderqueer individual who has existed within this identity for at least a handful of years… I didn’t really connect with much of it - and I’m honestly not sure I ever would have.
Maybe it’s because I have very rarely given much consideration to a bunch of transition-related options. I came out, I shared my pronouns, I dress a little differently. I’ve briefly considered testosterone and somewhat more seriously considered top surgery, but have currently decided that I’m okay with my body how it is. I was also already in a lot of Queer spaces with a lot of Queer friends. Sure, there have been some serious feels over the years pertaining to my identity and how others perceive or receive me, but I knew that it wasn’t going to completely change every aspect of my life.
So I think, in a rather humorous way, this book actually had the opposite effect on me; it had me feeling like I was NOT in fact trans enough. And that’s okay. It’s always been harder for me to identify as “trans” rather than “nonbinary” or simply “Queer.” And while I think I had hoped this book may change that and provide me with a better sense of belonging... I’m secure enough in my own identity to simply recognize that this particular title just didn’t end up being the right one for me.
February 19, 2023
3.5 stars
thank you netgalley for sending me an advanced reader copy of am i trans enough? by alo johnston in exchange for an honest review.
while i don’t love non-fiction or self-help books, this one was refreshing. i really loved the way the book was laid out. as a trans non-binary person myself, i enjoyed seeing my identity be validated. i am normally very self-aware and know how to help myself, but there’s something about having it written down in front of you that really impacts you. sometimes, you see the answers and don’t want to accept it. i know that wasn’t the main point of this book, but that was the part that resonated with me the most: allow yourself to accept the good and not-so-good answers because both are necessary and worthy answers.
while some parts of the book really did open up my mind and helped me understand more about my identity, there were some moments that dragged on and felt disconnected for me. i’m sure the information itself was necessary and helpful for other people, but there were chapters where i felt like the information being given was inapplicable for me. there are some parts that hit you hard like a truck, but there are also some that don’t phase you and feel like just words on a page without any impact.
i did enjoy the book overall though. if you are a questioning trans person, this is the book for you. it does help you move through that unsureness that you feel and navigate through experiences you have already had or ones that are coming up in your future.
thank you netgalley for sending me an advanced reader copy of am i trans enough? by alo johnston in exchange for an honest review.
while i don’t love non-fiction or self-help books, this one was refreshing. i really loved the way the book was laid out. as a trans non-binary person myself, i enjoyed seeing my identity be validated. i am normally very self-aware and know how to help myself, but there’s something about having it written down in front of you that really impacts you. sometimes, you see the answers and don’t want to accept it. i know that wasn’t the main point of this book, but that was the part that resonated with me the most: allow yourself to accept the good and not-so-good answers because both are necessary and worthy answers.
while some parts of the book really did open up my mind and helped me understand more about my identity, there were some moments that dragged on and felt disconnected for me. i’m sure the information itself was necessary and helpful for other people, but there were chapters where i felt like the information being given was inapplicable for me. there are some parts that hit you hard like a truck, but there are also some that don’t phase you and feel like just words on a page without any impact.
i did enjoy the book overall though. if you are a questioning trans person, this is the book for you. it does help you move through that unsureness that you feel and navigate through experiences you have already had or ones that are coming up in your future.
May 12, 2023
Thank you in advance to author Alo Johnston and NetGalley for the free e-copy in exchange for an honest review!
In all honesty, this is a book I will be buying once I am able to in the future and recommending to others, cis and trans alike.
Many transgender people have a period of their life, if not many periods of their life where they question their validity. This is totally normal! Time and time again I have seen trans individuals of all ages ask: "Am *I* Trans Enough?". Anyone part of trans communities will know how prevalent this question is.
This book provides:
- Unique and clear insight that a trans person will most definitely feel validated from and/or think of certain subjects in a healthier way than before.
- A nice refresher from a lot of transphobic sentiment online.
- A great starting place for cis people (especially WGST students).
It was easy to understand, however, it was not the same things that you find spoon-fed to you constantly on the internet (woo!). Alo has a wonderful way of validating trans readers and helping people understand themselves and others tremendously. There are several topics gone over the entire book and I recommend it to anyone with an open mind or deep internal questioning.
I do not know what else to say without sounding like a broken record: THIS IS A BOOK WORTH BUYING AND STARTING A CONVERSATION OVER! Check it out and see for yourself!
In all honesty, this is a book I will be buying once I am able to in the future and recommending to others, cis and trans alike.
Many transgender people have a period of their life, if not many periods of their life where they question their validity. This is totally normal! Time and time again I have seen trans individuals of all ages ask: "Am *I* Trans Enough?". Anyone part of trans communities will know how prevalent this question is.
This book provides:
- Unique and clear insight that a trans person will most definitely feel validated from and/or think of certain subjects in a healthier way than before.
- A nice refresher from a lot of transphobic sentiment online.
- A great starting place for cis people (especially WGST students).
It was easy to understand, however, it was not the same things that you find spoon-fed to you constantly on the internet (woo!). Alo has a wonderful way of validating trans readers and helping people understand themselves and others tremendously. There are several topics gone over the entire book and I recommend it to anyone with an open mind or deep internal questioning.
I do not know what else to say without sounding like a broken record: THIS IS A BOOK WORTH BUYING AND STARTING A CONVERSATION OVER! Check it out and see for yourself!
March 17, 2024
This is like the gentle trans elder whom so many of us wish we had in person but in book form. I am so grateful to have stumbled across this, both because of my own unpacking of gender and because of how readily I can offer it to people looking for such a resource in my day-to-day life. Johnston, a therapist, knows enough theory and practice and scholastic backing for this to have some heft and research to it such that I can trust that it's not just "Post-It Thoughts I Wanted Published," but this is also written in a first-person conversational style that makes it easily accessible.
That's not to say that this is easily readable in terms of material; there were several, several points where I put this down to walk away and ponder, to walk away and grieve, and at one point to yell "shut up!" at the poor book, which is an unusual occurrence for me. This is all because of what Johnston himself says: it's written by a trans man to trans folk, so there is a level of understanding here that goes deeply enough to feel familiar, painful, and beautifully safe. I will be referencing this again and again, I'm sure, and recommending it to many adults. (I wouldn't recommend giving this to gender-questioning youth, as some of the language assumes a level of maturity and experience they don't have, but adults? Yep yeppers.)
That's not to say that this is easily readable in terms of material; there were several, several points where I put this down to walk away and ponder, to walk away and grieve, and at one point to yell "shut up!" at the poor book, which is an unusual occurrence for me. This is all because of what Johnston himself says: it's written by a trans man to trans folk, so there is a level of understanding here that goes deeply enough to feel familiar, painful, and beautifully safe. I will be referencing this again and again, I'm sure, and recommending it to many adults. (I wouldn't recommend giving this to gender-questioning youth, as some of the language assumes a level of maturity and experience they don't have, but adults? Yep yeppers.)
December 30, 2022
🏳️⚧️Am I trans enough by @thetranstherapist🏳️⚧️
Thank you to @netgalley for a copy of this book, due to be published Feb 21st 2023
Wow. An easy five stars. This was such a comforting and informative read. It was really interesting to read about different trans experiences from the perspective of a trans therapist, I especially enjoyed learning about being trans& neurodiverse, trans sex & accepting yourself despite other people's opinions. I'm only just becoming comfortable in my non-binary identity, I don't fully know what this means for me yet, but I got so much out of reading this book. It made me feel valid & not alone despite a recent negative experience where a trans woman told me I was "just a girl adding they to their pronouns to pretend to be trans". This book, and lots of other lovely people, helped remind me that I don't need to look a certain way or go through specific transitions to be myself. I read a LOT of trans books for my PhD, not all of them good, but this was wonderful and I think its a super important book for trans, cis & questioning people and highly highly recommend it💗
Thank you to @netgalley for a copy of this book, due to be published Feb 21st 2023
Wow. An easy five stars. This was such a comforting and informative read. It was really interesting to read about different trans experiences from the perspective of a trans therapist, I especially enjoyed learning about being trans& neurodiverse, trans sex & accepting yourself despite other people's opinions. I'm only just becoming comfortable in my non-binary identity, I don't fully know what this means for me yet, but I got so much out of reading this book. It made me feel valid & not alone despite a recent negative experience where a trans woman told me I was "just a girl adding they to their pronouns to pretend to be trans". This book, and lots of other lovely people, helped remind me that I don't need to look a certain way or go through specific transitions to be myself. I read a LOT of trans books for my PhD, not all of them good, but this was wonderful and I think its a super important book for trans, cis & questioning people and highly highly recommend it💗
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