All's Fair...

by Alex Nonymous

Rules of the
1. 7-year-olds are supposed to be alive
2. 16-year-olds aren't supposed to be murderers
3. the universe rarely ever plays by the rules

16-year-old Mel Irving’s first day of 11th grade is off to a strong start. She and her best friend succeed in their annual prank battle with their arch-nemesis Ivy Mills, the boy of her dreams has apparently broken up with his girlfriend, and it seems like he might finally like her back.

Then her sister dies and the world stops. And it's all her fault.

Buried in grief and guilt and desperate for something else to focus on, Mel accidentally volunteers to fundraise enough money to save the spring fair in her sister’s honour. Even if it means teaming up with her arch-nemesis. Except the closer their deadline gets, the more she begins to realize that maybe her obsession with Ivy Mills had a lot less to do with hatred than she previously though.

This one is literally for me at 14 so once time travel becomes possible one of you better go back and give her a copy so they can start unpacking their feelings earlier.

sibling death & grief, mention of slurs, panic attack

Genres: Lesbian, Queer, Mental Health, Romance, Young Adult, LGBT, Fiction

237 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 12, 2022

About the author

Alex is trying to publish 22 sapphic YA books before she turns 22. The only flaw in the plan so far is that they only finished 1 before turning 20...

He uses any pronouns so its incredibly easy to talk about Alex behind her back (just please stop adding me to 'women writers' lists oh my god) and they're still trying to figure out how to present themself as a professional a full year into publishing.

If you want to join their email list for updates on book release dates, early reader copies, and to vote on genre polls to control the next book they write, email them at alexnonymouswrites@gmail.com to let her know!

Alex also writes books for queer teenagers and recognizes that a lot of the people who need those kinds of stories the most can't safely be purchasing them, fill out this form for free discrete ecopies of anything he's written! https://forms.gle/ZSAoMh59oLVjz97F8

Reviews

[Alex Nonymous · Rating 5 out of 5]

Update: November 24, 2022

guess who just heard back from a publisher after assuming I'd been rejected and publishing this myself 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
-----------------------------------
This is going to be so cheesy but it's late and I'm tired.

Anywho, "All's Fair" is the second book in me working towards my goal of publishing 10 books before I turn 21 (and also the only one that existed as a pretty fully formed draft before deciding to do this) and fair warning, it's very different than the last one I wrote.

I think I want to try and use these 10 books too explore different facets of myself both as a person and writer (obviously besides any sequels, promise I'm not skimping y'all on those) and it makes it really hard to rate them on goodreads because while "An Affinity for Burning" is tropey and self-indulgent and pandering to everything I love to read right now, "All's Fair" is the kind of book I wished I could have read when I was a pre-teen.

Where I'm probably going to be rapidly plotting most of these on the fly a la "An Affinty", I've been plotting and replotting this one since I was 10 which means I'm inevitably far too invested in it. I literally figured out my sexuality alongside Mel's and her labels and love interests changed draft to draft which is why I never label it in this version because I think part of being a queer teen (especially a female-assigned one. Comp het sure sucks) is knowing your queer long before being able to put a word to it and I remember getting frustrated the only characters I got to see go through that all seemed to only be able to achieve their happy endings through choosing a label.

Did I rewrite this whole thing to say "feel free to personally read Mel as bi/lesbian/whatever you want but please don't attach labels to her in reviews because her saying she doesn't want to think about one in the novel was very much me trying to pressure you into not labeling her" yes. Absolutely. She's both my child and a gift to myself as a child so I'm a tad possessive over her.


(Also since I keep saying this one is for me at 14 I feel the need to say that you don't need to pity positive review it? My sister's not dead, she just doesn't like reading)

[M · Rating 4 out of 5]

This wasn’t what I expected it to be, but not at all in a bad way. I like to go into books with as little information as possible, especially with authors whose books I’ve enjoyed in the past, so I didn’t really read the synopsis. In my opinion this was YA done right. I really enjoy the YA genre, but they can often avoid heavier, or real issues for less serious subjects. I understand why that’s common, but YA does not mean there can’t be substance to the writing as well, there should be more credit given to YA readers to be able to handle and comprehend tough issues. This book proves not only that it’s possible, but that it can be done well. Dealing with several issues from grief, to homophobia, to the struggles that come with growing up, and the roles that often get forced on us. The author does a really good job at taking these multiple complex issues and weaving them into the story in a comprehensive, easily understandable way that makes for a really interesting story because they avoid making the characters stereotypical tropes.

[Ava :) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wish I got to see more of Mel’s and ivy’s relationship but I understand it was more about Mel dealing with her sisters death. I wish it was a little long though I did like the short chapters. I also wish I knew more about the side characters and I kind of think the thing with ivy’s mom wasn’t fully resolved. Overall though it was a very good read and I finished it in 2 days. Thank you Alex for early access to the book. This review is late though so you can buy the book now.

[Gabby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ivy and Mel are so cute and I love how well different topics were spoken about. How easily homophobia is dismissed as a joke and ignored because “I’m not homophobic”. I wished I had books like this growing up

[Saraf Tarisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I need time to process all those things *sobs*. For now: It was so good.

[nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you so much again to the author, Alex, for giving me the privilege of reading an early copy of this for free!

I really enjoyed all the characters in this one, especially for 16- and 17-year-olds. The way high-schoolers are typically portrayed in YA books is why I tend to steer clear of them or not read them as often since they tend to make silly mistakes that cause the most unnecessary kinds of drama. I haven't been in high school for quite some time now so my patience and cringe-tolerance when it comes to novels are very low nowadays. But with All's Fair..., the characters felt realistic in all their actions and words. Knowing how they grew up together, it's understandable why some characters act the way they do or say the things they do. And I really do love how unique and fleshed out the characters are. It makes me wish we get to see more scenes and background information on all of Mel's friends.

One point that I can see being a downside to some readers is the fact that the characters aren't given much description. I personally found that it never detracted from the story at all, that it gave me a bit more freedom to imagine the characters as I wanted and prevented me from trying to focus too much on what the characters looked like instead. I do think descriptions can be improved upon but again, it never felt like a downside for me.

I started reading this early in the morning before work and all throughout my shift all I could do was think about the plot unfolding and the characters, especially Mel and Ivy. The way their relationship from enemies to friends to crushes was so cute and I like that it was a slow change rather than a drastic one. Once I was able to get back to reading it, I couldn't put it down at all. I stayed up, fighting off sleep because I was so close to the end and needed to know how everything unfolded.

I even went to sleep thinking about it because the story stuck with me in such a good, lasting way. I've been fortunate enough to not go through anything that would cause such grief so I can't exactly relate, but it was nice and healing for me to read Mel's and her parents' journey through their grief after Maisie's death. And some of Mel's thoughts and feelings on the matter especially at the beginning I felt were an interesting perspective that I never really considered before.

All's Fair...'s plot and subplots were also extremely well-written and they all tied together in a great and entertaining read. It's not often that I care enough for a book's characters and story to want a sequel when it very clearly doesn't need one, but I know these characters will stick with me for a long time. It was a wonderful book to read, definitely slightly different than I usually go for, and it's definitely on my list of personal favorites that I wouldn't mind reading more than once.

tldr; A+ so good i lov

[bilge · Rating 5 out of 5]

"This one's for myself at 14. I wish you got the chance to see yourself in stories”

[libby🧣 · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Probably closer to a 3.75
I went into this book knowing nothing, and I'm so glad I did. This was a brilliant coming-of-age story which deals with grief, friendships and sexuality. I think it is an important story and definitely don't go into this book expecting a romance because this book means so much more than that. It's a story of healing and the human condition as well as our tendency to tip toe around those who are grieving. I think the way that this book juggles all of these themes whilst still maintaining its addictiveness is impressive and I had to read the second half in one sitting. I particularly liked the structure of the novel because, as well as Mel describing her time in grief like a torn blanket, the novel reflects the way that time feels like for someone grieving like a string of events with no concept of time between them. (spoilers) For me, Mel's realisation of her sexuality throughout was extremely relatable and I think it was a great representation of what it feels like to realise you are queer. Thankyou to Alex for continuing to let me read your awesome books, I can't wait to read more from you :)

[b ☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

first things first, huge thank you to the author, alex, for providing me with a free pdf copy to read and review! always happy to support writers in any form, especially when it comes to important stories that include grief and coming to terms with your own identity, which were two very, very huge themes in this book.

which actually leads me to my biggest praise of this book. how mel's grief was handled. everyone handles grief differently, but so rarely do we ever see the real, dirty details of grief and how it can rip someone apart, and i believe that this book was one of the best depictions of grief i've ever had the pleasure to read. it's real and it's raw and it makes you want to step back from your computer and just stare at a wall for a few moments because that could literally be me at any time and i think that is my favorite thing about it. how real it is. so my complete kudos to the author for creating such a raw, thought-provoking show of grief in a story that definitely would have been so important for me to have read in like. middle school.

i also really, really just enjoy the simple passing of time. it's kids going to dances and going to school and handling their grief and anger and simply being teenagers, which, granted, i could find in any other book, but i have a weird liking to the way that they're all portrayed in this book. how it's written like a looking glass into the characters lives, instead of a day by day play by play of every little action they take. it makes for a really interesting story, in my personal opinion.

now, onto a few negatives i had (emphasis on few)

my least favorite trope in any book ever is the forgiving of a homophobic bully. maybe it's from personal experience or maybe it's just because that trope is so unrealistic that it hurts, but i cannot stand it. and this is not to say that the rest of the story was bad, because it most definitely wasn't, but i feel like mel forgiving taylah just like that (although it wasn't entire forgiveness, i do recognize that) was really... unrealistic? or maybe it just felt like a bit of a slap since ivy was my favorite character and she'd been the victim of taylah's homophobic bullying but the girl who has an entire crush on her is kind of just forgiving the actual homophobe just like that but... anyway. i think ivy was very right in the scene where she basically told mel she was being a bystander, and as much as i love mel, i don't think she ever really stopped being a bystander. that was a lack of character development that i saw, but otherwise mel is a likeable character.

my only other negative in the book so far is the same thing others have said, which is that the lack of descriptions tends to throw the reader for a loop. while i do love having free-reign of imagining characters, i also love something to go on. we didn't actually know ivy was asian til about halfway through the book, and we never really got descriptions of any other characters aside from knowing that mel and maisie have blonde (and technically now brown) hair.

i believe those are about the only things i could see that may need to be improved upon, but otherwise, this is a great story about coming to terms with your identity, personal loss, and sticking up for the people you care about. (and i really like that it wasn't insta-love and that they didn't actually get together at the end, but rather are taking it slow. i think that's exactly how the story should have ended!)

if you ever want to revisit ivy and mel in the future, sign me up.

4 out of 5 stars.

[ana grace]

Thanks to the author for providing an early copy of this book!

While this wasn't the story for me, I think it will appeal to many people. As a lover of sapphic romances, I was drawn in by the book's strong premise but found its execution to be underwhelming. Specifically, I believe that the story would have benefitted from additional character development, especially in regards to the protagonist, Mel. Even at the end of the story, readers know very little about Mel besides her relationship with Ivy and guilt over her sister's death. While these aspects of Mel's character were well-developed, providing additional information about her would have strengthened the book. Additionally, as someone who likes to visualize stories, I was frustrated by the lack of physical descriptions of characters. As for the plot, I also had mixed feelings regarding it. During the latter half of the story, the plot progressed well and ended in a satisfying conclusion. However, the beginning of the book was paced very slowly, and it took a long time for the events mentioned in the synopsis to unfold. While this may appeal to some readers, it caused me to struggle to become invested in the story. For me, the highlight of the book was the depiction of Mel's growth as she comes to terms with her sexuality and the death of her sister. Books with multiple major plotlines are often executed poorly, but this one did a good job balancing and fully developing both storylines. Therefore, even though I didn't fully enjoy this story, I would definitely recommend it, especially to sapphic readers and those who typically enjoy books on the lower end of YA. This is a valuable story, and I hope that the right people get the chance to read it.

[O'Call · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recently I really thought I was starting to grow out of YA books, nope definitely not the case here.

There’s so little descriptive writing yet you understand exactly what’s happening throughout. The writing is focused and to the point with practically zero waffle. Yet, somehow you gain a great understanding of the characters.

I think that’s what I love so much about it. It’s compact, stays to the point yet as a reader you feel connected to the characters and the story.

Maybe it’s because I found myself relating to this book so much I don’t know.

All I can say is that this is a YA book I wish had been around years ago.

I highly recommend giving it a read.

[isa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this over the course of a few days, and I have a lot to say about this book. I had walked into it with the preconception that it was going to be a happy-go-lucky romance between a girl and her rival but was positively surprised by how in-depth Maisie's death shook Mel's family to their core. Maisie's death in general had completely caught me by surprise, I was in class with my jaw wide open still processing the entire situation. Overall, this was a fun read, and I'll review it by first listing the things I liked and the things that could've been better and the transition between the two gets a little mushy.


The overarching plot was great, and the way Mel was written was excellent. Her changes throughout the boom were well thought out, her mannerisms and "little things" fit her well and I enjoyed following her and Ivy down this book. Ivy was also a very well-written character, her confession on page 112 hit a little too close to home with her being smart when she was younger, realizing she was basically just average in high school then going on to trying to do her best just to not be average. I love that she doesn't have it all figured out, and I really wish we could've seen more of her and that side of her problems. I appreciate how Tristen wasn't forced to be the guy in the cliche where a girl realizes she's gay not because she realizes she likes girls, but because she realizes she doesn't like boys. I was genuinely sad that he was going to end up alone (for the time being), he seemed sweet.


Ivy seemed like more of a side character that while she had a really solid base to be an amazing character we unfortunately didn't get to see that too much. I realize it's hard to develop a character that's not the main character when in first person, and I think that Mel was probably just the main focus of this story rather than their relationship which is fine. I can understand that the goal of this story was not to develop Ivy but she should've at least had some sort of inner conflict about something.

There were a lot of things in this novel that were telling instead of showing, for example: Taylah being a bad friend to Mel, Mel's entire personality before Maisie died (mostly how much art meant to her, that was only started getting mentioned in like the middle of the book), and maybe Ivy as a character in general. We didn't have that much prior info on Mel, and I feel like if we could've seen her interact with Maisie a little more or drew a bit in the beginning or even just a few more interactions with her friends in the beginning we would've grown way more attached to Mel and seeing her break down would have had 10x the emotional impact. The only way I noticed Taylah was a toxic friend was through her being an asshole to Ivy in the middle of the book and then at the end where it mentions events that didn't transpire during the novel, we should've got some foreshadowing about that.

For some reason I had no idea Ivy had friends until the end of the book where Mel goes to her house to work on the baked goods, I don't know if that was me not paying attention or if it truly was mentioned often.

Something that was a little confusing is that Ivy worked in a grocery store, even though we already know she's always trying to build up her résumé and financially she's doing better off than most. Well, I assume she's rich judging by the description of her home but I could be wrong. There are probably much better positions she could've applied for especially at 17 if she had so many great qualifications that would make others hire her.

It was a little odd that Mel just lost interest in Tristen after Maisie died, I completely understand her not being in a mindset for relationships or partners of any kind but it also offhandedly mentions how their kiss didn't meet her expectations, I wish we could've gotten mention of that when they kissed instead of 100 pages later, but this wasn't a huge enough thing for it to actually be an issue. I can relate to having a thing for someone for years until you actually get with them and realize that you didn't actually like them at all, so again, this wasn't major.

Overall, I really did enjoy this book and all its characters. I was there cringing when they did something stupid and taking a walk when they did something unbelievable. My dislikes about this book aren't things that made it bad, but things that could have helped make it better. If you're looking for a short cute but also gut-wrenching sapphic novel I'd recommend giving this one a read.

[Lizzy Li · Rating 5 out of 5]

alex!!!! you are a superhuman writer and this made me cry

still processing but this was really really good and i could not put it down once i started!
i love mel and ivy and everyone's character arcs were really well done and i really liked kait by the end of it too!!!

ok i've had time to process this book better so now im adding onto this review:
- the banter and dialogue was really well done! very realistic
- the modern day references to tech and stuff were very very well incorporated !! a lot of the times i find that books will reference an app like instagram and my whole body will cringe at it but somehow it works really cohesively here
- the confusion??? the uncertainty??? i love
- the GRIEF!!! handled so well and so realistically and just very heartwarming towards the end! the family dynamic! environmental overstimulation! good days and bad days! coping rather than moving on! i loved to see it <3
- i think some more descriptors for each character would have been nice bc i think we just got a brief physical description of tristan but not really anyone else, but also i kinda like the anonymity it gives because then its very generalizable and a lot of people can more easily see themselves in these characters
- also bc i am nosy i wanna know more about ivy's mom and their mother-daughter relationship because the book kinda gave off the vibe that it was unique and interesting but never really explored it super in depth

[makayla… · Rating 4 out of 5]

i as many others were given the privilege to read this book early and i'm so happy i took alex up on their offer. i loved this book, i often find authors who want to desperately want to make a YA book that a teen audience will love, and most of the time those books kinda flop with that audience, whether its because they don't act like teens or it just feels like the author is just making fun of teens. that said this book doesn't do that and from the books, i've read by this author they know exactly how to write for their intended audience. now if you want to talk about the story of the book i could go on and on for forever, but i'll spare you from that, i mostly want to talk about the lgbt relationship and the greif in the book. now this is where i get into some minor spoilers. i love the way the author handled mel's grief, and how it lowkey traumatized her. it showed how losing a close loved one can be and how not everyone handles it the same way. then the lgbt relationship in the book is honestly amazing. i'm not sure if the author is in the lgbt community but i wouldn't be surprised if they were with how well written the relationship and the lowkey confusion is. all in all i loved this book and i love this author. 100% recemend.

[Serene · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was so good and I couldn't stop reading it!!

[kavya ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was fine. light and fun-ish. it took me like two days to finish which for me is saying a lot because i have adhd and the attention span of an earthworm which means i physically cannot focus on one book at a time AND i ignored my humongous pile of schoolwork to read this.

i think the thing is i read a lottt of sapphic coming-of-age contemporaries. like a lot a lot. it's my comfort genre, so maybe it's just that I have a really high bar for them. and this just kind of...didn't really stand out? it was good! it just wasn't great. it's been like three weeks since I finished it and barely anything from it really stayed with me.

i loved ivy mills! she's the embodiment of the lesbian-gifted-kid-burnout-syndrome and that trope will never not hit for me. like:

"i was like, smart in elementary school, you know? i mean, obviously you know, it was my whole thing and you were obsessed with me. then we got to high school and i was just...average? so i started spending more time studying and less time doing literally anything else and i quit friends and extracurriculars but I'm still mostly just pretending to be smart. or, not pretending, i guess.it's more like people assume i am and i do everything i can to not have to correct them."

...that hit hard. I'm sorry. i actually, like literally, needed a moment after reading that. damn ivy mills. you got me.

mel's arc with figuring out she's queer and dealing with casual homophobia from her friends was handled really well, but the romance itself for me was personally a little lacking. the development and build-up was going great, but it just kinda...became sort of rushed around the halfway mark. and then it got kinda messy, and I just didn't really get why or how or even that these two girls were attracted to each other beyond the telling. maybeee a little from mel's side, but ivy?? i hate to say this because it's so obviously not what the author intended but it just felt like there was no reason for her to like mel except that they were both queer (i know I'm cringing as i write this I'm sorryyy:"( ). it just felt sort of unbelievable when she finally told mel she liked her back. idk. it could've done with a little more depth. and to a lesser extent, the same could be said for mel dealing with her sister's death. it was well-handled, it just left me wanting...more.

all in all, this was a good book! id definitely recommend it to young queer readers everywhere. pretty staple for the genre, and maybe it didn't really feel particularly special but I'm glad there are so many more books like this coming out. alex is truly a phenomenal author and this cemented that i will read literally everything she writes:)

[Eva · Rating 5 out of 5]

OH MY GOD ITS FANTASTIC. I finished the entire book in a matter of hours. Even if your simply thinking about reading it, DO IT PLEASE!!! My new favorite book! <3

[laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up!

i just wasn’t totally in love with this book, it just was really slow for me. it was still cute, just not for me!

[Jake Callum · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Do you think we’re good people?”
“We’re teenagers. We’re not supposed to be good people yet.”

The second I read the summary I immediately knew this is exactly my type of book, and I'm glad to say I wasn't wrong.

It only takes to read one review I wrote to realise Alex is my favourite author but god if this book didn't make me love his writing even more.

The other books of theirs I read were much more light heartedly, and reading such a different genre from her and seeing how well he writes it honestly just make me adore them so much more.

The way she wrote every emotion, especially the grief, felt extremely realistic, and yes I'm aware I use this word every time I describe Alex's books, but she just writes characters in a much more realistic way than I ever experienced with another author.

Now on a less formal note and a more rambley note, cause I could not explain my emotions and opinions on this book properly in a formal way:

lsnakslsljsla. Yeah. That's my main conclusion.

So Kait is my wife. Just putting this out there. So everyone is aware.

I feel like maybe I should stop with my tradition of naming the characters I find autistic in my reviews, because I genuinely just came to the conclusion that Alex can not write non autistic characters. Like. They were just all autistic.

But especially Mel and Ivy. Equally. They were both equally autistic.

I also don't know what I think Mel's gender identity is I just know I declared in the beginning of the book Mel is trans and I'm sticking with that. She's simply not a cis person.

I feel the need to add I felt personally betrayed by Taylah. Like I could feel what was coming with her but I also definitely understand the hurt of realising your best friend is not the person you thought they were, and that they might not really be a good person. I really wanted her to be one, because I felt how badly Mel needed her to be one, and when what she wrote was revealed I genuinely just felt so personally hurt by it.

[Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Exactly what it says on the tin.

Overall a decent and fun read but the first half is definitely stronger than the second one and the end falls a little flat.

I feel like this book should have had like 50 - 100 pages more to let the ending breath, so the obligatory last minute problem actually feels like a threat and isn't resolved almost immediately in a way that just feels too simple. Also the importance that is given to labels in this feels blown out of proportion to me and the second act break-up fight suffers for it. It just doesn't feel believable, more like something that makes you roll your eyes and go "yeah yeah, teenagers, very dramatic" and flip the page.

The central sister story line fairs better in my opinion and has some really good points about grief and guilt but also feels like it's not quite pulling it's punches in several places. But, admittedly, I am absolutely not the target audience for this so maybe it's just my bias on how hard a book should punch you in your cold, dead heart. Still. Nobody telling her it's her fault? Wholesome but also a tad unrealistic. People are mean as hell when they are hurt.

Extra kudos to the best friend story line because this is an IMMENSELY important thing I basically never see in writing but again, same as with the sister thing, kid's gloves here too. Could have went way harder in my opinion but I am still glad it was included and explored.

So, if you want to have a solid read you can devour in one sitting, go for it. Just suspend some of your disbelieve or - better - don't bring it to this party at all.

[Ysée · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was really good. I loved a lot of things about this because they all felt very very real:

• There’s the general way grief is depicted (different for everyone, the ‘not moving on’ part…).

• There’s the way Ivy’s mum worries for her daughter’s safety whenever she thinks she might be in danger because of scary and harmful things kids do and dismiss as jokes. I particularly liked this because (and this is very personal) my mum expressed the same fears when I got into my first relationship with a girl in high school, telling me to be very very careful with how I acted and who I shared it with.

• There’s also the stupid rivalry between teenage girls. And honestly it was SO refreshing to see Mel and Kait become friends and Kait being supportive and everything!

But probably the aspect I liked the most in this book is the way Mel first reacts to Tay’s homophobia and general behaviour. The fact that she doesn’t say anything at first, because she doesn’t dare to, or because she’s her best friend and ‘she’s not like that’. I think this is a very real way to depict friendships when you’re a teenager. You don’t always dare stand up to the people who are there for you when they do shitty things because you figure they must be good people, so obviously it can’t be that big of a deal if they do this. So yeah that was really well done and it really spoke to me!

Definitely stands out from the other YA books I read.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the more that You've Reached Sam lacked. That book tries to make you feel something by giving you a generic brown-hair mud-eyes average girl without a personality because they want you to pretend she's you and therefore feel sad by extension. In contrast, this book made me think that my sister died, in a good way. Like because the writing not because I want my sister to die. The guilt and the feeling of absence and trying to fix everything- it was just so good. It felt YA because of the struggling and the setting in high school, but it was so refreshing to read because it didn't follow the typical high-school-ya plotline where everything is completely ok and figured out at the end. I liked how there was so much world there that was only hinted at, which also felt like a subtle reminder of Mel's grief. Like how the parents are going through their own thing too and trying to get better or Ivy and Tristan's relationships with people besides Mel. I can really believe that the world continues beyond just this book, and I'm glad that it ended openly and left death as the main theme rather than romance. My favorite chapter was chapter nine, and I chose that chapter as my favorite even before I saw Alex read it aloud on instagram. I also maybe have been watching their youtube videos from four years ago but I'm not weird :( Also I would have thought that she was an only child. Anyway this book gets 5 stars but not out of pity

[Caleb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was such a comfort read for me. I'm not the most adept reader, but I found this to be quite digestible. It's chapters are shorter than most books I've seen which I think complements it being an easier read. I also enjoyed seeing myself in the main character a lot. I felt like I was right there with Mel anytime she got overstimulated in the story. I'm honestly just so happy to have found this story and I'm excited to read more works by Alex and maybe leave more reviews as I slowly teach myself how to read better. This is the first time I've ever written a book review, so I don't know if it's a me thing. But I just wanted to let anyone who was thinking of picking it up know that it is worth it. So if you're looking for something that will both devastate and comfort you in one swift motion, give this book a try.

[prisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to the author for sending me a free copy!

As a sister of a 7-year-old myself, this book made me realize how broken I'd be if I were in Mel's place. We all deal with grief and guilt in our own ways and sometimes when people feel like they're helping, they're making matters worse and that was really well shown in the book. I did like ivy and Mel's relationship and but the more profound topics that were talked about were rightfully the main topic of discussion. I like how it deals with homophobia and how we sometimes dismiss it as a joke or don't distance ourselves from people who are homophobic just because we feel they must be unaware. It was a good book all in all :)

[slaying girly · Rating 5 out of 5]

i think this book was one of the best things to ever happen to me. ivy and mel’s relationship slowly developing was so perfect. i loved the way the grief was portrayed and wasn’t just ignored or done after a few days, but rather it still affected mel. i loveeeee the way ivy helps mel even when she hates her. i love how mel slowly figures herself out and this book makes me so happy i’ve reread it so much!!! literally a comfort book for me and i really hope one day i can buy the physical copy because this book was beautiful, one of my favourite books ever!! like anytime i can just reread it and never get bored of it. best comfort book ever!!

[Finley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a gorgeous book! I found this book through the author's Instagram while waiting in an airport and impulsively bought it, and I'm so glad I did! As an autistic and queer person I saw myself reflected so deeply in the characters! Once I started reading I just couldn't put it down! I would definitely recommend this book to others and I will definitely be checking out more of Alex's books in the future!!

[Connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really amazing!

I don’t read much lol. This is my favourite book I’ve ever read

But it’s super sad so it took be a few days to get past the first 35 ish pages.

The grief was handled very tastefully and well. And the development of Ivy and Mel was well done as well.

Overall. So good!

[Jovi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

I love when Alex writes about people on the spectrum. Not the usual romance story. So interesting and refreshing. I highly recommend this one.

[dezi ✧❦༊*·˚ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars simply bc i was robbed of a kiss 😞

[Eliza · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book may or may not have helped me realize i have a crush on my best friend 10/10 would read again