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What I Want To Talk About: How Autistic Interests Shape A Life

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This book isn't a memoir. It is a love letter to the phenomenon of autistic hyperfixation.'

In What I Want to Talk About popular autism advocate Pete Wharmby takes readers on a journey through his special interests, illuminating the challenges of autistic experience along the way. Funny, revealing, celebratory and powerful in equal measure, this is a book that will resonate with many, and which should be required reading for anyone who wants to understand autism with more accuracy and empathy.

220 pages, Paperback

First published September 21, 2022

36 people are currently reading
1118 people want to read

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Pete Wharmby

5 books67 followers

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
Profile Image for Bizzy.
620 reviews
September 15, 2022
4.5/5 stars. First of all, I’m glad the author got the opportunity to talk about the things he wants to talk about! I strongly relate to his feeling of how you hardly ever find others who are as interested in your interests as you are, so it’s great that he got this opportunity to share his interests with others who will (hopefully) be just as interested.

This book is a perfect illustration of how special interests (or hyperfixations, as the author calls them) intertwine themselves with everything else in your life. In my experience, that’s been one of the most difficult aspects of special interests to explain to non-autistic people: how my brain wants to relate everything back to those interests, and how it finds connections between my interests and seemingly unrelated things. I loved how Wharmby was able to describe various important events in his life through the lens of his interests. It was cleverly done, and helped me share in his enthusiasm.

Every time I read a book by another autistic person, I’m amazed by the experience of reading about thoughts and experiences like mine, which is not something I’m used to. Even when we’re different in significant ways, there are still core feelings and experiences that so many of us share. The explanation in this book of what it’s like to learn how to mask as a child resonated deeply with me, and felt like I was reading my own thoughts in someone else’s work. I cherish the opportunity to learn what I have in common with other autistic people, and will be recommending this book to my autistic friends for that reason alone.

I also appreciate seeing where our experiences and perceptions don’t overlap, and how those differences can illuminate blind spots. At one point, the author imagines how his life might have been easier if his special interests had been more acceptable and less nerdy (like sports instead of Warhammer). But my experience is that you can have perfectly acceptable interests and still be ostracized for them if you don’t talk about them in the “right” way or are low in the social hierarchy. This got me thinking about some of my own assumptions about how my life might have been different if my autistic traits and interests manifested differently.

The only issue I had with the book is I felt some of the generalizations were a bit too broad. For the most part, Wharmby does a good job reminding the reader that there’s a vast spectrum of autistic experiences, but he sometimes leaned a bit too heavily into assumptions that “many” or “most” autistic people shared his feelings about certain things. For example, the introduction states that “an autistic person’s interest in a Hyperfixation will never tire or dwindle,” even though this isn’t true even of his own experiences, much less every autistic person. I see so many questions and comments from other autistic people worrying that maybe they’re not really autistic because some of their traits don’t match common stereotypes or generalizations, so I think we have to be careful with broad statements about autism to avoid inadvertently excluding others.

I recommend this book to autistic readers wanting to share common experiences. I think it’s also a good book for helping non-autistic people look past the stereotypes and get to know an autistic person in a more nuanced way.

I received an ARC in exchange for my review.
Profile Image for Amanda.
15 reviews
October 4, 2022
I always struggle to finish autistic memoirs; it's difficult, as an autistic parent of autistic teens, and a former autistic child (with an undiagnosed autistic mom) to read about another Neurodivergent person's lifelong trauma and pain. It's incredibly easy to reopen old wounds when reading about other autistic people's lives.

This book wasn't like that.

Despite reminding me of some of my own trials and tribulations, this book primarily gave me the opportunity to recall (and thus relive) some of my fondest life experiences, and even a few of my successes. This book was, in many ways, extraordinarily comforting.

It also gave me a much-needed example of another autistic adult (also a parent, as I am; late-diagnosed, like me; born only a couple of years before me) who, against all odds, hates neither himself nor everyone else. Many of us are (understandably, justifiably) bitter, after decades of active bullying and the less intentional (but sometimes more devastating) being misunderstood. This book makes a good argument that the world can change and maybe that it even IS changing, and I came away from this feeling at least somewhat hopeful.

I think it was an inspired choice to craft this book around the author's special interests. This accessible, enjoyable structure makes the entire work hang together beautifully, so that it reads as something between a collection of related essays or vignettes, and a novel (my favourite type of book). The use of special interests as the framework also helps infuse the book with a positive, uplifting tone, so that even when a particular chapter or section is emotionally fraught, the reader feels confident that this too shall pass.

Finally, I initially listened to this on Audible (and was inspired to buy a physical copy, for easy future rereading) and I highly recommend that experience. I'm not always a fan of author's narrating their own works, and I had some trepidation beforehand, but this book was read so naturally, engagingly, and in a way that really highlighted how each word choice was the right one.

In short, listening to (and then reading) this has been an absolute joy. I would recommend this well-written, deeply interesting work to any teen or adult who wants to know more about what autism is/what autistic people are like, and I'm eager to explore this author's next book.
Profile Image for Kie.
7 reviews
September 27, 2025
I was a bit torn on what rating to give this book. If I wanted to be objective, maybe a 4 stars would have been the most fair rating, but if I want to rate it by how much enjoyment I got out of it, then it would be a solid 5 stars.

This book is kind of a memoir.. but also isn't: It's a recalling of events from the author's life through the lenses of his various special interests. It explores how they shaped his life and how his life shaped them.

This was an exciting read for me, despite being someone who typically finds memoirs really boring. Part of this was due to how much I related to the author's experiences, but some of the merit goes to the unique narrative structure: each chapter is centered around a different interest, and how it relates to the life events that happened alongside it. Now, chapters each having a different 'theme' is not a new concept for memoirs by any stretch of the immagination. But this was the first book I read where the chapter 'themes' felt actually deeply intertwined with the life being told in them. The author's interests are not just a quirky literary device used to name the chapters, but something that deeply shaped his experiences.

I also enjoyed how the book focused on the joys as much as on the trials and tribulations. The author's excitment is very contagious, and it makes the book—and the life told through it—feel a lot more authentic to the autistic experience. This book really takes you through a roller coaster of the author's life, with its highs, its lows, and its special interests .

My only criticism with the book is that it's less than scientific. Some of the speculations made throughout the book are not always clearly labeled as what they are: just opinions, and not facts. On top of that, a few of the actual facts presented in the book are no longer supported by our current scientific knowledge on autism—although this might just be an issued caused by the book being a couple of years old.
Normally, this would be a much bigger issue for me, as I care deeply about scientific accuracy. But this book is a memoir or, as the author puts it, "a love letter to the phenomenon of autistic hyperfixations". It's a work deeply personal to the author and his experiences. It's not a book that claims or pretends to be a scientifc work of nonficiton. I find that, because of this, the inaccuracies didn't hinder my enjoyment of the book.

I also appreaciated that the author makes a point to state, in a disclaimer at the beginning of the book, how different authistic experiences can be from one another. I personally like that the author focused on his own experiences, instead of trying to cram every possible perspective into the book. The majority of books that attempt to do that fail, due to the sheer volume of different experiences autistic people can have. I find that reducing the scope to just one person is often a more productive way to discuss autistic traits.
Still, I would have enjoyed getting more reminders throughout the book that this was just his personal experience. The disclaimer at the beginning was great, but a bit of extra clarification would have served this book well.

I would recommend this read both to autistic people and not autistic people interested in the topic—although I might be biased by how much I related to the author. Just go into it with the mindset that you are reading about one person's experience, not a scientific essay, and not a book that raspresents every possible autistic experience out there.
Profile Image for Megan Bevers.
111 reviews14 followers
December 26, 2023
Loved this! A great look into how special interests and hyper fixations improve the lives of autistics, bringing balance and peace to their lives.
Profile Image for Melissa.
235 reviews2 followers
September 11, 2024
4* - highly recommend. This was conversational and personal, yet informative and impactful. I'm so grateful to Pete for writing this, and sharing it with the world.
Profile Image for Stephen Pearson.
204 reviews4 followers
May 22, 2025
7/10 - Read straight after his other (and more scientific / general analysis by comparison) book, this is an even more personal account which takes us particularly through the fairly prevalent trait of being obsessed with particular (and frequently uncommon) things, hobbies and interests - aka autistic hyper fixation.

A great insight into what obsessions Pete has (from video games such as MIncecraft) wargaming, movies (such as the MCU), trains and disasters such as the Titanic name a few. He explains how and why he is into these subjects, and how they helped him / still do at various points in his life, often on a subconscious level to now being able to understand why post diagnosis.

As a standalone book, this doesn’t quite work and is very much a personal experience novel that could work well as a case study. Pete has tried to cater for those who haven’t read both, so there is a fair bit of repetition between the two when explaining some of his traumatic life experiences and explanations of some scientific research.

A useful account and useful if you want to find some parallels from a UK, white middle-class perspective of someone growing up.

Note: I have just realised post reading that this was the first novel he wrote, which I guess makes sense to start with a personal account before moving into a more scientific focused approach backed by research.
Profile Image for Lady.
1,099 reviews17 followers
September 30, 2022
Wow this was such a brilliant book. It was just what I needed to read. I was diagnosed with autism 9 months ago and despite going on a course to understand it. I knew nothing about why I am the way I am and this book helped me so much. This book was exactly what I needed. I just loved the way the author wrote this book. He states it doesn't cover the who disorder but just how he is affected. It was just brilliant and helped me understand some of the things I do like my obsession with books it just takes over my mind. He explained everything so well and was easy to understand why we ate the way we are. I just hope many people read this book. If only to discover why we have these obsessions. I always wondered why I needed to learn about everything. I especially found it interesting learning about autism burnout and how it's different from normal burnout. Yep currently there but at least I know now. I definitely recommend this book if you are autistic or know or work with someone who is.
Only the highest of praise goes out to the author and publishers for bringing us his story so that others can understand how difficult it is to live with this condition.
Profile Image for Sam Peeters.
95 reviews
January 22, 2025
The least you can say about the book What I Want to Talk About by British autistic ex-teacher Pete Wharmby is that it reveals a bizarre world with a rich and profound exploration of life with autism.

Those who manage to get through his seemingly endless book are rewarded with a unique insight into autistic experiences, but especially into the significance of special interests—hyperfixations—in the life of an autistic adult man. These interests, ranging from LEGO® to trains, not only provide an intense focus known as monotropism but also serve as a source of order and comfort in an often chaotic world for some autistic people, including Wharmby. The book also serves as an excellent example of the kind of “rambling” about topics that may seem fascinating and engaging to the person themselves but utterly boring to others.

Fortunately, in his book, Wharmby touches on other themes beyond his pet topics. He also reveals his struggles with social cues during his childhood and teenage years and his search for personal coping mechanisms. His candid description of discovering his autism and its impact on his teaching career offers a compelling view of his difficult journey toward self-acceptance and immersion in his passions.

Wharmby further explores in his book the influence of family relationships (comparing his family to dinosaurs), video games, music, and Warhammer 40,000, each of which serves as a refuge and source of relaxation in its own way. He reflects on how these interests manifested in his adult life, such as Minecraft, which played a crucial role in his approach to parenting and preventing burnout.

Notable is Wharmby’s exhausting fascination with fictional worlds like the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which he uses to cope with worldly events such as Brexit. His interest in the Titanic is also highlighted, as he examines its appeal to his autistic mind. In the epilogue, Wharmby underscores the essential importance of special interests for people with autism, advocating for a more inclusive society in which autistic voices are not only sought and heard but also accepted without attempting to reform them.

However, despite its valuable contributions to autism literature, the book exhibits several significant shortcomings. It relies too heavily, in my opinion, on Wharmby’s personal anecdotes, occasionally giving the impression that these experiences are universal. Furthermore, the book lacks a solid scientific foundation, making it feel more like a collection of (possibly superficial) opinions rather than a factual analysis.

Throughout the book, Wharmby repeats himself endlessly. As with his previous work, the readability of What I Want to Talk About for non-British autistic individuals with Wharmby’s profile is therefore rather limited. The book becomes increasingly unclear about its actual focus as it progresses. Additionally, his writing style often undermines his credibility, and Wharmby insufficiently highlights alternative perspectives on his ideas. At the very least, he cannot be accused of lacking authenticity or disguising his thoughts in his writing.

In summary, What I Want to Talk About is an enlightening work that takes the reader into the complex but also somewhat exhausting and long-winded world of a British autistic, introverted single man primarily focused on social media and games. It is a valuable contribution, but it requires considerable effort to get through this massive volume without succumbing to the temptation to skim until the author finally stops talking about his blasted pet topics. But hey, I shouldn’t complain—the book is, after all, about special interests and endlessly droning on about them. In any case, it’s an intriguing, perhaps even confrontational and somewhat bittersweet read, but not a recommendation for those seeking an interesting, smoothly written, and nuanced book about autism.

Based on the tone of the review, the book seems to have both strengths and weaknesses. While it offers valuable insights and authentic perspectives, its repetitive nature, lack of scientific grounding, and narrow focus detract from the overall experience. Here's how I would break down my rating:

Content (Insights and Authenticity): ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5)
Valuable exploration of autistic experiences, but overly reliant on personal anecdotes.

Writing Style and Engagement: ⭐⭐ (2/5)
Repetitive and meandering, making it difficult to maintain interest.

Inclusivity and Perspective: ⭐⭐½ (2.5/5)
Limited perspectives; primarily centered on the author's experiences.

Scientific/Analytical Value: ⭐⭐ (2/5)
Lacks robust scientific backing or broader context.

Overall Rating: ⭐⭐½ (2.5/5)

This reflects a book that is enlightening and meaningful to a degree but struggles with readability, balance, and depth. It would resonate more with readers who deeply relate to the author's specific experiences.

This review first appeared in Dutch on my autismblog www.tistje.com.
Profile Image for Natalie Fry.
11 reviews
February 13, 2024
This book did a lot of things for me. It both comforted and worried me as well as of course informing me what's it's like to experience the world as an autistic person. As the writer received their diagnosis as an adult I felt that the book was written as pure relief that there was an explanation to being different and not fitting in and that he was writing about certain episodes from the past (childhood and young adulthood) to make sense of them now in the light of his diagnosis which is a very empowering thing to do. I don't know why but I felt I couldn't connect especially with the book at the start but I was able to do so more as the book went on where I could relate to what he was saying on a deeper level. Some other reviews have mentioned that there was a slight tendency to generalise the experience and traits of autism which I agree with and which goes against the reality that everyone has their special place on the spectrum and each person is unique (they do not all have exactly the same core traits). This is where the book worried me a little, I guess I was looking for comfort and similarity in every area, which is a bit naive given the reality that everyone is different. Still, in places an awareness of how everyone's experience and mind is different would have made this book stronger. I felt like its scope was to educate neurotypicals and sometimes this felt too obvious and made me feel like an outsider looking in.
1 review
September 28, 2022
I have been looking forward to this book since I've been an avid follower of Pete's social media presence, having first discovered him a few months ago during my own formal (late) autism diagnosis process.

Suffice to say, it did not disappoint. Using Special Interests as a starting point to discuss various aspects of the autistic experience, and his own self discovery, is an ingenious device. The author doesn't shy away from how difficult and disabling autism can be, but Special Interests are a perfect entry point into looking at some of the positives of the autistic experience. It is a celebration of autistic joy, underlining how comforting they can be, how crucial they are to our understanding of the world, how they can be a source of pride and connection to our fellow human beings (across neurotypes).

The tone is well considered, balancing humour with the seriousness some of the material deserves, as well as some rather touching moments too. Far from the monologue about his own interests some might expect (Wharmby is rather self aware and self deprecating, he points out consciously avoiding overindulging his need to share too many details a few times throughout the book), it feels more like an invitation to share in the love of these topics, an affirmation that Special Interests are beautiful, and a permission to embrace one's own obsessions as a force for good.

This is undoubtedly one of the best personal accounts of autism I've read, and will be recommending it to others in the hope of spreading this love and understanding of autistic Special Interests.

Profile Image for Laura.
715 reviews21 followers
October 24, 2022
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read an arc of this book.

This book was pretty good. It was very interesting to read about another autistic person's special interests and how it shaped their life. I do however found it difficult to read sometimes because of two reasons...

The first being that it was told in a non chronological order and that confused me a lot. The timeline for everything that happened is a mess in my head.
My memory is quite bad because of some of my disabilities and yeah my brain doesn't like non chronological storytelling.

The second reason being that the sentences were just a bit long at times. Which would be fine for any other reader probably, but I'm dyslexic so long sentences are my arch nemesis.

Anyway this book was still quite good, especially for a debut, so I do still recommend it to people who wanna know more about special interests in a more memoir-ish form.
2,934 reviews261 followers
September 12, 2022
I received a copy of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This is a great book!

Wharmby gives us a look inside his head on how special interests and autism have shaped his life. As Wharmby says this isn't really a memoir - it's about Wharmby's life but there's also stories about what autism is like and why special interests are so common. The book talks about how interests like Sims, Warhammer, and other games play into special interests and can make life manageable. I also really like how Wharmby talks about autistic burnout and how it can manifest.

An intriguing and informative read.
Profile Image for Lizzie.
Author 1 book18 followers
May 3, 2024
What an uplifting, well put together book! Pete structured this so well, with each chapter being about a different major interest of his, roughly chronological in terms of when he first discovered them (though ended with , the longest running and strongest, still current interest), not only introducing what it is about each interest that he loves and utilises but also using them as a springboard to discuss with each an aspect of his experience of being autistic, anecdotes about his life, and how the interests helped him. It's an inspiring book too, very relatable and makes me wish I could write something similar about my own interests!
Profile Image for Andreas.
242 reviews62 followers
December 16, 2022
I think this might be my favourite book about autism yet. It is structured around the author’s special interests, but touches upon many other things related to autism in the context of the author’s life. I relate to a lot of what the author writes about - especially the parts about (in)justice, emotion & empathy hit me quite hard. This book was also very enjoyable to read as it is essentially very positive and full of the author’s love towards the interests that have accompanied him throughout his life.
Profile Image for Tania.
501 reviews16 followers
September 9, 2023
I found the introduction engaging and the 3 insights into autism it briefly discusses, I found important and helpful. But it was all down hill once the chapters started. In essence it’s a selective memoir, with too much detail on Wharby’s hyperfixations from Warhammer to Lego to the Titanic, which bored me so much I skimmed the remainder of the book.
I can imagine that if a reader shared Wharmby’s interests, this would probably be a great read. I heard him interviewed for his new book, which I am still interested to read, despite my low score for this one.
Profile Image for Lucy Allison.
Author 2 books2 followers
May 28, 2024
To say that I'm not personally interested in most of the topics Wharmby talks about in this book, I thought it was a good read! It was very easy to understand even with no prior knowledge of the subject matter and I'd love to read the same concept from a range of different authors to hear about their special interests too - there's something really enjoyable for me about hearing from someone who loves a subject even if it's something I know nothing about. The book read like a series of connected blog posts or short essays rather than a more traditional memoir, which Wharmby himself acknowledges in the text. I don't think that's a bad thing per se, just that it didn't really feel like I was reading a book. It's great to see more nonfiction that acknowledges and balances the difficult parts of autism along with the joys. I'd particularly recommend this to parents of autistic children.
12 reviews
October 20, 2022
I finished the book in a day as it was really easy and enjoyable to read. It's so rare to see anything about special interests in normal media and it brought me so much joy to share in Pete's. The way he writes about his hyperfixations is so similar to how I feel about mine and it brought back memories of just how much more powerful those feelings were as a kid, before I learnt to hide my excitement when I started school.
1 review
March 13, 2024
A revelation

Pete Wharmby opened my mind not only to my 80plus self but to my memory of my husband of nearly 50 years and the lives of my children and grandchildren in all their variety. Pete worries about aging in a world that doesn’t understand his problems but a few more books like this and surely those who have aged already will be helped to show the way.

By the way he is right. We shouldn’t blame the ship. The Titanic’s sister ship had no disasters at all.
Profile Image for Josh.
2 reviews
December 31, 2022
An exploration of autistic special interests, how they manifest, how they feel, and how valuable they are to the individual absorbed in them.

A open invitation to a personal world, stories told in clear language. A helpful, accessible book for those who want to learn about the autistic experience.
Profile Image for Asher.
130 reviews1 follower
May 11, 2023
The author described this book as a love letter to Autistic hyperfixation and it was definitely that. Really really enjoyable and had a lot of well worded insights to share about special interests and what being autistic means. A book that was basically just an info dump was also just amazing. I love hearing and reading infodumps, so reading a whole book of them is basically a dream come true.
3 reviews
May 15, 2023
A must read

As an older self diagnosed autistic, this book really hit home. Peter writes clearly and with honesty and passion. I really hope that others read this and either realise they are also autistic, or improve their understanding of what life can be like for us. I’ve already got Peter’s second book - which I am eager to start.
Profile Image for Helen Wilfehrt.
30 reviews2 followers
January 1, 2024
Pete Wharmby describes experiences from his life, sharing perspectives of how his special interests shaped his life as a late-diagnosed autistic person. Pete is a public speaker and advocate in the autistic community.

I also listened to the audiobook version, narrated by the author, which I enjoyed as his voice gave more depth to the experience of his sharing.
Profile Image for Amy Kriewaldt.
10 reviews7 followers
November 25, 2023
I needed this book. As a late-diagnosed autistic woman, this narrative is so validating. This is what the world needs to hear in order to normalize our experience. Thank you for sharing your story, humor, and brilliance.
Profile Image for Luca Muñoz.
61 reviews
July 26, 2024
He agrees with me that Tom Holland's Peter Parker is the most comic accurate Spider-Man and just because of that this book deserves five stars.

That’s a joke… kind of.

Also, someone show My Hero Academia to Pete Wharmby, I bet he’d love it.
Profile Image for Grace.
122 reviews
July 30, 2024
writing a whole book about autism and special interests as an excuse to talk about your own autistic special interests is honestly a genius idea and i'm jealous that i didn't think of it first.

anyway, this was great and i loved it!!!
Profile Image for Dora.
49 reviews2 followers
August 16, 2024
Fun! I love listening to people talk about what they are enthusiastic about. Learned a lot without trying.

I was once on a flight and seated next to a man who talked about bridge (the card game, not Scandinavian TV series) for just under an hour, and I swear I developed a crush.
12 reviews
April 23, 2025
Wonderful!!! Very relatable as someone who grew up undiagnosed in the same time period. Also loved reading about how much Minecraft can mean to someone as it really helped me understand my son’s passion!
Profile Image for Stan Barker.
81 reviews3 followers
June 7, 2025
Really enjoyed this and was on for a 5* - especially after Wharmby confessed to his childhood Adam & the Ants video hyperfixation (!!!!!!!) but the book overall was a little *too* subjective, made too many sweeping generalisations and became yet another privileged white boy perspective.
Profile Image for Rob B.
107 reviews
October 3, 2022
An interesting outlook from someone with a later in life diagnosis of Autism
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