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Feral: Losing Myself and Finding My Way in America’s National Parks
A bracing memoir about self-discovery, liberating escape, and moving forward across an adventurous and volatile American landscape. One year. One national park at a time.
This is it. No more California. I’m sifting into the underbelly of where the nomads go.
After a decade as an assistant to high-powered LA executives, Emily Pennington left behind her structured life and surrendered to the pull of the great outdoors. With a tight budget, meticulous routing, and a temperamental minivan she named Gizmo, Emily embarked on a yearlong road trip to sixty-two national parks, hell-bent on a single goal: getting through the adventure in one piece. She was instantly thrust into more chaos than she’d bargained for and found herself on an unpredictable journey rocked by a gutting romantic breakup, a burgeoning pandemic, wildfires, and other seismic challenges that threatened her safety, her sanity, and the trip itself.
What began as an intrepid obsession soon evolved into a life-changing experience. Navigating the tangle of life’s unexpected sucker punches, Feral invites readers along on Emily’s grand, blissful, and sometimes perilous journey, where solitude, resilience, self-reliance, and personal transformation run wild.
This is it. No more California. I’m sifting into the underbelly of where the nomads go.
After a decade as an assistant to high-powered LA executives, Emily Pennington left behind her structured life and surrendered to the pull of the great outdoors. With a tight budget, meticulous routing, and a temperamental minivan she named Gizmo, Emily embarked on a yearlong road trip to sixty-two national parks, hell-bent on a single goal: getting through the adventure in one piece. She was instantly thrust into more chaos than she’d bargained for and found herself on an unpredictable journey rocked by a gutting romantic breakup, a burgeoning pandemic, wildfires, and other seismic challenges that threatened her safety, her sanity, and the trip itself.
What began as an intrepid obsession soon evolved into a life-changing experience. Navigating the tangle of life’s unexpected sucker punches, Feral invites readers along on Emily’s grand, blissful, and sometimes perilous journey, where solitude, resilience, self-reliance, and personal transformation run wild.
10 pages, Audio CD
First published February 1, 2023
2672 people are currently reading
8585 people want to read
About the author
Emily Pennington
2 books30 followersEmily Pennington is an adventurer, world traveler, and freelance writer.
Apart from being a regular columnist at Outside magazine, she’s had work published in the New York Times, The Guardian, Condé Nast Traveler, and Backpacker magazine, among others, as well on dozens of websites, including Lonely Planet, mindbodygreen, Adventure Journal, and REI Journal.
Emily has also appeared on NPR and the podcasts Women Who Travel, Anxiously, The Outdoor Renaissance, Of Mountains and Men, and Tough Girl Podcast. Los Angeles is Emily’s home base, but you can often find her sleeping in the dirt all over Sequoia, Yosemite, and the Eastern Sierra.
Apart from being a regular columnist at Outside magazine, she’s had work published in the New York Times, The Guardian, Condé Nast Traveler, and Backpacker magazine, among others, as well on dozens of websites, including Lonely Planet, mindbodygreen, Adventure Journal, and REI Journal.
Emily has also appeared on NPR and the podcasts Women Who Travel, Anxiously, The Outdoor Renaissance, Of Mountains and Men, and Tough Girl Podcast. Los Angeles is Emily’s home base, but you can often find her sleeping in the dirt all over Sequoia, Yosemite, and the Eastern Sierra.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 517 reviews
January 22, 2023
I had high hopes for this book for many reasons. First, I am an avid national parker myself and have been on a quest to see all since I started in March ‘21 (38 at time of writing). Second, I have also found that my solo trips to the parks have been immensely healing and have brought me back to myself. Third, I love reading and writing and hope to share my story in some way some day too.
I also rarely write reviews for “memoirs” or life stories because those are peoples’ real lives and who am I to judge their life?
BUT
This book just didn’t land for me. I felt the national parks were just glossed over and felt more like they just happened to be around while going through this particular shift. There was no real connection between the park and the storyline other than that she was very quickly popping in to see some of them on this quest to hurriedly get it done (yes, time and money were a constraint which is a bummer). I didn’t feel like the story was fully developed. Yes, it recounted the events but I was hoping to see more tangible transformation or epiphanies or the deep stuff. I can admit that some of my dislike of the book could come from the story I want to tell about how travel in the parks has helped me. Or what specifically the parks have to offer. But I can also say I was a little bored and not as invested in the breakup story because I was hoping more for a connection being drawn between the parks themselves and all their natural healing and beauty to the emotions and feelings of the events.
It just didn’t land for me but hope it inspires others. Kudos, for sure, for living in your van, camping in the wilderness, and sticking it out!
I also rarely write reviews for “memoirs” or life stories because those are peoples’ real lives and who am I to judge their life?
BUT
This book just didn’t land for me. I felt the national parks were just glossed over and felt more like they just happened to be around while going through this particular shift. There was no real connection between the park and the storyline other than that she was very quickly popping in to see some of them on this quest to hurriedly get it done (yes, time and money were a constraint which is a bummer). I didn’t feel like the story was fully developed. Yes, it recounted the events but I was hoping to see more tangible transformation or epiphanies or the deep stuff. I can admit that some of my dislike of the book could come from the story I want to tell about how travel in the parks has helped me. Or what specifically the parks have to offer. But I can also say I was a little bored and not as invested in the breakup story because I was hoping more for a connection being drawn between the parks themselves and all their natural healing and beauty to the emotions and feelings of the events.
It just didn’t land for me but hope it inspires others. Kudos, for sure, for living in your van, camping in the wilderness, and sticking it out!
March 8, 2023
It's always really hard to rate someone's personal experiences, but throughout this book I found myself staying focused only on certain aspects of Pennington's story and completely bored by the others. However, the imagery of all the national parks across the United States basically had me binge-listening to this one at work and finishing this audiobook!
THOUGHTS:
- Relationship drama in the context of a somewhat spiritual journey across the US's national parks is hard for me to mentally reconcile. When I'm hiking - I'm so at peace that I just don't think about anything to purposefully dissociate? It's hard to imagine this level of isolation for most of us so I imagine it would make you entirely more introspective than you had previously been.
- I think if you're in the market for an audiobook, this one is good to listen to for travel inspiration!
NOTES:
- TWs: There are mentions of suicid4l feelings throughout this book and severe mental health issues.
- The audiobook is available on Kindle Unlimited right now!
THOUGHTS:
- Relationship drama in the context of a somewhat spiritual journey across the US's national parks is hard for me to mentally reconcile. When I'm hiking - I'm so at peace that I just don't think about anything to purposefully dissociate? It's hard to imagine this level of isolation for most of us so I imagine it would make you entirely more introspective than you had previously been.
- I think if you're in the market for an audiobook, this one is good to listen to for travel inspiration!
NOTES:
- TWs: There are mentions of suicid4l feelings throughout this book and severe mental health issues.
- The audiobook is available on Kindle Unlimited right now!
January 14, 2023
I’m complaining because the author is also complaining…
Just like the journey in this book…it was a rollercoaster of emotions: I wanted to stop reading it, I wanted to throw it away (but it was on my phone so that wasn’t happening), but since I started it, I had to finish it. I very much disliked this literature adventure. As it seems, the author hated majority of her self-discovery trip.
Listen, it’s a big deal to be published, so props to her for getting it published, but this journal, because that’s what it is… a journal, was not good. Could it be considered a memoir? Yeah I guess, but it’s an annoying one.
The amount of complaining about how much her boyfriend sucks and how much she’s always trying to find herself at every park over shadows the National Parks she visited. Nag, nag, nag….
Adam, the boyfriend who wisely opted to not remain in the relationship gets it the worse. He gets painted as a dude who just sucks to be in a relationship with. To the point that she even implies that he’s trash in bed, like a one pump and done. If I remember correctly, he went down on her and she was like “man this sucks”. I hope this dude signed a waiver. Vibrator! Yes she mentioned she packed batteries for it, I guess she never used it because it wasn’t mentioned again. Why bother mentioning it to begin with. Oh yeah and the author is super thirsty! She wants to be touched all the time, I mean who doesn’t, but damn son! Again, you had your vibrator, but I guess she didn’t use it. She did hook up with a dude she met in an app though. He was better than Adam. Take that Adam!
Author sounds super needy and picky. Nothing we ever good enough for her. She went to like 5-6 parks by herself. The rest she always had somebody go with. I bet everyone she went with regretted going because the whole time she was talking about herself and her issues. That would make for a huge bummer. I had a bummer trip just reading about it.
I think this book has the most color adjectives I’ve ever read in any book. Not even Bob Ross used this many adjectives to describe the different hues of a sunrise or sunset.
The thing that really chapped my ass, was that she completely outed her own mom! I don’t think your book should’ve been the place to tell the reader she has a drinking problem. Yeah we don’t know her, but some of your friends might. That’s not for you to share. Her issues for our amusement or un amusement in this case. That’s your mom dude!
I’m glad this book was free and that’s the only reason I gave it 2 stars.
If you want to read about how an emotional woman spent $30,000 on a COVID one-year trip around 62 National Parks all while dealing with her breakup and complains the entire time… this book is for you.
Just like the journey in this book…it was a rollercoaster of emotions: I wanted to stop reading it, I wanted to throw it away (but it was on my phone so that wasn’t happening), but since I started it, I had to finish it. I very much disliked this literature adventure. As it seems, the author hated majority of her self-discovery trip.
Listen, it’s a big deal to be published, so props to her for getting it published, but this journal, because that’s what it is… a journal, was not good. Could it be considered a memoir? Yeah I guess, but it’s an annoying one.
The amount of complaining about how much her boyfriend sucks and how much she’s always trying to find herself at every park over shadows the National Parks she visited. Nag, nag, nag….
Adam, the boyfriend who wisely opted to not remain in the relationship gets it the worse. He gets painted as a dude who just sucks to be in a relationship with. To the point that she even implies that he’s trash in bed, like a one pump and done. If I remember correctly, he went down on her and she was like “man this sucks”. I hope this dude signed a waiver. Vibrator! Yes she mentioned she packed batteries for it, I guess she never used it because it wasn’t mentioned again. Why bother mentioning it to begin with. Oh yeah and the author is super thirsty! She wants to be touched all the time, I mean who doesn’t, but damn son! Again, you had your vibrator, but I guess she didn’t use it. She did hook up with a dude she met in an app though. He was better than Adam. Take that Adam!
Author sounds super needy and picky. Nothing we ever good enough for her. She went to like 5-6 parks by herself. The rest she always had somebody go with. I bet everyone she went with regretted going because the whole time she was talking about herself and her issues. That would make for a huge bummer. I had a bummer trip just reading about it.
I think this book has the most color adjectives I’ve ever read in any book. Not even Bob Ross used this many adjectives to describe the different hues of a sunrise or sunset.
The thing that really chapped my ass, was that she completely outed her own mom! I don’t think your book should’ve been the place to tell the reader she has a drinking problem. Yeah we don’t know her, but some of your friends might. That’s not for you to share. Her issues for our amusement or un amusement in this case. That’s your mom dude!
I’m glad this book was free and that’s the only reason I gave it 2 stars.
If you want to read about how an emotional woman spent $30,000 on a COVID one-year trip around 62 National Parks all while dealing with her breakup and complains the entire time… this book is for you.
December 7, 2025
Despite the occasional “whining,” in a realm of traveling through life with new skin, and shedding relationships, COVID and heartaches aside; raw, real, and beautifully written in a way that Thoreau would appreciate.
Very interesting story, and I thank Emily for sharing it 🤗!
Very interesting story, and I thank Emily for sharing it 🤗!
January 10, 2023
Skip it. I was eager to read this book because travel books, especially hiking and backpacking, are my jam, but this is not that. Not enough description of the actual parks and adventures to be a travel journal and not enough character development to be a true memoir. I feel like I know too much about the details of author's personal life, but not enough about who is actually is.
The national parks are skipped over very quickly and if you don't know where these parks are located, it becomes very confusing. We are taken from Maine to Virginia over the course of 2 paragraphs with no explanation of how we got there or where we actually are. The book is lacking on the kind of detail I have come to expect in a book centered around travel.
Spoilers:
Far too much of the book centers around her breakup with her boyfriend of two years and how poorly she handles it. Even in her own telling of the story, she does not come out looking good. The breakup drags on through multiple chapters and continuous encounters that are progressively more irritating. At one point she gets angry because he wants to start seeing other people (this is during the summer and fall of 2020) and she doesn't like that their (now his) apartment will no longer be a safe, covid-free place for her to go, even though she's been traveling all over the country.
Overall, the book lacks the characteristics of a true travel memoir and often leaves the author looking rather tone deaf.
The national parks are skipped over very quickly and if you don't know where these parks are located, it becomes very confusing. We are taken from Maine to Virginia over the course of 2 paragraphs with no explanation of how we got there or where we actually are. The book is lacking on the kind of detail I have come to expect in a book centered around travel.
Spoilers:
Far too much of the book centers around her breakup with her boyfriend of two years and how poorly she handles it. Even in her own telling of the story, she does not come out looking good. The breakup drags on through multiple chapters and continuous encounters that are progressively more irritating. At one point she gets angry because he wants to start seeing other people (this is during the summer and fall of 2020) and she doesn't like that their (now his) apartment will no longer be a safe, covid-free place for her to go, even though she's been traveling all over the country.
Overall, the book lacks the characteristics of a true travel memoir and often leaves the author looking rather tone deaf.
January 6, 2023
meh
A lot less “Wild” and a lot more whining. A LOT. Poor me. We broke up. Poor me. I have enough money saved up to travel around the country - which I have planned for years to do but I’m alone (like I planned) - but poor me. Covid. Poor me. I’m out in the wilderness while everyone else is stuck in their houses. Most of it is complaining about being alone while simultaneously complaining when NOT alone. Ugh.
A lot less “Wild” and a lot more whining. A LOT. Poor me. We broke up. Poor me. I have enough money saved up to travel around the country - which I have planned for years to do but I’m alone (like I planned) - but poor me. Covid. Poor me. I’m out in the wilderness while everyone else is stuck in their houses. Most of it is complaining about being alone while simultaneously complaining when NOT alone. Ugh.
January 5, 2023
As a Kindle Unlimited member, I have the privilege of choosing one from a list of newly published e-books for free, every first of the month.
Feral, by Emily Pennington is a travelogue within a travelogue, exploring the country of America while traversing her inner landscape. For, as she treks across America's National Parks, Emily travels deep into the wilderness of her soul.
"Like John Muir and Terry Tempest Williams before me, I fled to the outdoors every possible weekend to strengthen my body and soul, prostrating at the feet of the one thing in life I held sacred: Mountains."
So starts the book, as she explains the convoluted schedule she has put together to enable her to visit all of the National Parks on a budget of $30,000. And as she leaves, the Coronavirus Pandemic begins.
Emily carries with her a reminder of the way in which she would like to experience life, a tattoo on her inner wrist, that says, "Lightly." From Aldous Huxley's novel, Island: "It’s dark because you’re trying too hard . . . Lightly, child, lightly. You’ve got to learn to do everything lightly. Think lightly, act lightly, feel lightly. Yes, feel lightly, even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.”
Yet, Emily's relationship with her long-time boyfriend, Adam, is falling apart the harder she tries. She reflects, "When we stop to lament, or worry, or protest, or grow fearful, we are willingly driving a second arrow into a pain point that already exists. In times of emotional upheaval, the second arrow comes from our inability to let go." And yet, she cannot stop herself from digging at him.
From the Sequoias of California, to the Olympic Peninsula, each Park presents itself with unimaginable wonders and exquisite beauty. Emily's reverence for the survival of our planet, much less Humanity, is caught in these words: "If we don’t protect wild spaces in our own country, how will we ever reconcile the wild within ourselves?"
With each watery or craggy, boggy or rockbound environment she throws herself in to, Emily learns about the timelessness of nature and it's magical connection to life. "I could sense my heartbeat against the pulse of the wood. The pulse of the forest. The pulse of the earth. It was the same energy that drove everything that would ever live on this planet forward, some great, unknowable spark that was as akin to real magic as we may ever find."
As Emily's relationship with Adam finally disintegrates while in the wilds of Alaska, she is hard hit emotionally and finds herself adrift. She's going to end her trip without Adam, and the home they had together and no job. She starts having panic attacks. Again, she looks within: "That safe feeling we have when we think we’ve got it all figured out? It’s an illusion. The very essence of life is change."
Following the advice of a good friend, Emily contacts a Psychiatrist and is put on medication. She goes to Hawaii and has terrible side effects, she can't sleep at all. Desperate for help, she contacts the doctor who advised her to try another medication to help her sleep and she resolves the situation.
I love these insights: "Maybe I just had to throw myself into the deep end of life, again and again, until the defiant act of swimming upstream felt effortless. Maybe when I wasn’t connected to anyone, I’d find that, underneath it all, I was connected to everything. Maybe the most feral thing of all was allowing room for not knowing."
Emily never says conclusively how she feels about the actual traveling but these words sum up the inner and outer journeys the best: "Every national park is an opportunity to come home to yourself." "I spent a year wandering the wilderness, and this was where it led me: to a bone-deep knowing that I was strong and capable and joyful and resilient. All pain was conspiring to bring me home."
This was an ephemeral and yet completely real story. I was glued to the pages for two days. This is the good stuff, the real deal. Treat yourself and put it on your list. You'll thank yourself.
Feral, by Emily Pennington is a travelogue within a travelogue, exploring the country of America while traversing her inner landscape. For, as she treks across America's National Parks, Emily travels deep into the wilderness of her soul.
"Like John Muir and Terry Tempest Williams before me, I fled to the outdoors every possible weekend to strengthen my body and soul, prostrating at the feet of the one thing in life I held sacred: Mountains."
So starts the book, as she explains the convoluted schedule she has put together to enable her to visit all of the National Parks on a budget of $30,000. And as she leaves, the Coronavirus Pandemic begins.
Emily carries with her a reminder of the way in which she would like to experience life, a tattoo on her inner wrist, that says, "Lightly." From Aldous Huxley's novel, Island: "It’s dark because you’re trying too hard . . . Lightly, child, lightly. You’ve got to learn to do everything lightly. Think lightly, act lightly, feel lightly. Yes, feel lightly, even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.”
Yet, Emily's relationship with her long-time boyfriend, Adam, is falling apart the harder she tries. She reflects, "When we stop to lament, or worry, or protest, or grow fearful, we are willingly driving a second arrow into a pain point that already exists. In times of emotional upheaval, the second arrow comes from our inability to let go." And yet, she cannot stop herself from digging at him.
From the Sequoias of California, to the Olympic Peninsula, each Park presents itself with unimaginable wonders and exquisite beauty. Emily's reverence for the survival of our planet, much less Humanity, is caught in these words: "If we don’t protect wild spaces in our own country, how will we ever reconcile the wild within ourselves?"
With each watery or craggy, boggy or rockbound environment she throws herself in to, Emily learns about the timelessness of nature and it's magical connection to life. "I could sense my heartbeat against the pulse of the wood. The pulse of the forest. The pulse of the earth. It was the same energy that drove everything that would ever live on this planet forward, some great, unknowable spark that was as akin to real magic as we may ever find."
As Emily's relationship with Adam finally disintegrates while in the wilds of Alaska, she is hard hit emotionally and finds herself adrift. She's going to end her trip without Adam, and the home they had together and no job. She starts having panic attacks. Again, she looks within: "That safe feeling we have when we think we’ve got it all figured out? It’s an illusion. The very essence of life is change."
Following the advice of a good friend, Emily contacts a Psychiatrist and is put on medication. She goes to Hawaii and has terrible side effects, she can't sleep at all. Desperate for help, she contacts the doctor who advised her to try another medication to help her sleep and she resolves the situation.
I love these insights: "Maybe I just had to throw myself into the deep end of life, again and again, until the defiant act of swimming upstream felt effortless. Maybe when I wasn’t connected to anyone, I’d find that, underneath it all, I was connected to everything. Maybe the most feral thing of all was allowing room for not knowing."
Emily never says conclusively how she feels about the actual traveling but these words sum up the inner and outer journeys the best: "Every national park is an opportunity to come home to yourself." "I spent a year wandering the wilderness, and this was where it led me: to a bone-deep knowing that I was strong and capable and joyful and resilient. All pain was conspiring to bring me home."
This was an ephemeral and yet completely real story. I was glued to the pages for two days. This is the good stuff, the real deal. Treat yourself and put it on your list. You'll thank yourself.
February 1, 2023
* Happy Publication Day! 2/1/23 *
I’ve read a couple of reviews since I’ve posted my review and I’d like to add for anyone who hasn’t read this book: this is not a National Park travel book. It is pretty much what the title indicates. Emily Pennington lost herself and found her way while on this trip.
If you are having trouble in your life with depression or anxiety please do reach out for professional help. It CAN GET BETTER and you ARE worth it!!
Emily Pennington is in her early/mid 30’s and for years she has been planning a year long hiking/camping adventure to all of the US National Parks. She also happens to be a writer so she chronicles her trip and that is what gives us this book.
I discovered this on through Amazon First reads and it was an easy choice for me as my husband and I love to travel to and explore the National Parks.
Emily saved up enough money to leave her day job and set out on her well planned journey in her converted mini van that she named “Gizmo”
She begins her trip in 2020. Yup. That same 2020 that we remember all too well. Plans are updated or revised along the way due to the COVID pandemic. She also ends up breaking up with her long time boyfriend at some point in the middle of her trip and she struggles with some personal mental health issues. She writes openly and honestly about her challenges as well as her accomplishments and personal growth.
There are some nice photos of her trip in the book too.
By the end of the book I not only felt my own wanderlust in a big way but I also want to give this girl a hug and tell her everything is going to be okay.
The book is due to be officially released on Feb 1st
Check out her Instagram brazenbackpacker for more photos of her adventure.
I’ve read a couple of reviews since I’ve posted my review and I’d like to add for anyone who hasn’t read this book: this is not a National Park travel book. It is pretty much what the title indicates. Emily Pennington lost herself and found her way while on this trip.
If you are having trouble in your life with depression or anxiety please do reach out for professional help. It CAN GET BETTER and you ARE worth it!!
Emily Pennington is in her early/mid 30’s and for years she has been planning a year long hiking/camping adventure to all of the US National Parks. She also happens to be a writer so she chronicles her trip and that is what gives us this book.
I discovered this on through Amazon First reads and it was an easy choice for me as my husband and I love to travel to and explore the National Parks.
Emily saved up enough money to leave her day job and set out on her well planned journey in her converted mini van that she named “Gizmo”
She begins her trip in 2020. Yup. That same 2020 that we remember all too well. Plans are updated or revised along the way due to the COVID pandemic. She also ends up breaking up with her long time boyfriend at some point in the middle of her trip and she struggles with some personal mental health issues. She writes openly and honestly about her challenges as well as her accomplishments and personal growth.
There are some nice photos of her trip in the book too.
By the end of the book I not only felt my own wanderlust in a big way but I also want to give this girl a hug and tell her everything is going to be okay.
The book is due to be officially released on Feb 1st
Check out her Instagram brazenbackpacker for more photos of her adventure.
April 26, 2023
Well, this turned into a hate read while sitting on a plane on my way to visit some National Parks. Adam, my man, you dodged a bullet. I definitely didn’t enjoy the two hours I spent in the head of this person, with the self-indulgent, incessant complaining. Poor dude did two years! This book did serve as an excellent reminder of the type of person I have no desire to be around at this point in my life… so, silver linings and all that.
January 4, 2023
I hope people realize what this is. It took me a while to figure it out:
Half-way through the book I was still hovering around three stars in terms of my enjoyment of it. Not because of the content or the writing--both of which kept me engaged--but because the pacing and focus of it mirror the author's manic voice.
Is this a nature memoir, a spiritual journey, a relationship recollection, or a generational thing about millennial angst? Is it a pandemic story, or is it about mental health? The author never seems to stay in one place (neither physically nor mentally) long enough to reach any major revelations. After pondering it a while, I realized it isn't any of those things because it's all of those things.
This is an entertaining, heart-warming, and often cringe-worthy retelling of a human life in all its glorious messiness. It's the story of a real-life person in the weird space between youth and middle age trying to manage their expectations of the world and other people the best they can, and often failing miserably.
I applaud the author for the degree to which they make themselves vulnerable in this book, and hope that their future books continue to be as bold. There should be more stories like this.
My only criticism is that, at times, the writing does seem a little forced and under-developed in terms of voice. It's chocked full of alliteration and nature-magazine style prose (lots of descriptions about the hues of sunsets and anthropomorphisms of plant life) that sometimes seems to lack the truly unique perspective that would make it a five-star read for me.
Half-way through the book I was still hovering around three stars in terms of my enjoyment of it. Not because of the content or the writing--both of which kept me engaged--but because the pacing and focus of it mirror the author's manic voice.
Is this a nature memoir, a spiritual journey, a relationship recollection, or a generational thing about millennial angst? Is it a pandemic story, or is it about mental health? The author never seems to stay in one place (neither physically nor mentally) long enough to reach any major revelations. After pondering it a while, I realized it isn't any of those things because it's all of those things.
This is an entertaining, heart-warming, and often cringe-worthy retelling of a human life in all its glorious messiness. It's the story of a real-life person in the weird space between youth and middle age trying to manage their expectations of the world and other people the best they can, and often failing miserably.
I applaud the author for the degree to which they make themselves vulnerable in this book, and hope that their future books continue to be as bold. There should be more stories like this.
My only criticism is that, at times, the writing does seem a little forced and under-developed in terms of voice. It's chocked full of alliteration and nature-magazine style prose (lots of descriptions about the hues of sunsets and anthropomorphisms of plant life) that sometimes seems to lack the truly unique perspective that would make it a five-star read for me.
January 10, 2023
As someone who has traveled over 6,000 miles by wheelchair in my life and who has a goddaughter who is a passionate National Parker, I approached freelance travel writer Emily Pennington's "Feral: Losing Myself and Finding My Way in America's National Parks" with tremendous enthusiasm.
Pennington's effort to visit every single one of America's 63 national parks within a single year serves as the framework for "Feral," a book that ultimately is less about the actual journey and far more about Pennington's inner journey toward a healthier version of herself as she experienced the loss of a two-year relationship and subsequently her home and began dealing with mental health issues that seemingly became exacerbated by the unique experiences offered by surrendering to the fullness of the national park experience.
Pennington's journey began almost parallel to the COVID-19 pandemic that largely shut down American life for the better part of that very year. That sense of "forbidden journey" is pervasive throughout "Feral," partly because it actually was at times forbidden and partly because Pennington at times self-reports the various ways she skirted around the pandemic's limitations, closures, and restrictions with seeming ease largely owing to a more casual small town approach to the pandemic.
It's likely unsurprising that over the course of a book that is barely over 250 pages that the fullness of Pennington's travel isn't ever really fully captured. While some parks do get a decent amount of detail, others seem worthy of barely more than a sentence or two. Instead, Pennington gives far more attention to her ongoing relationship with her love of two years, Adam, though I must confess there wasn't a single page in "Feral" where I actually bought into the relationship or its potential. Quite honestly, as written both Adam and Emily seem like self-absorbed, dysfunctional human beings. While self-absorbed, dysfunctional human beings can certainly be successful in relationships, and it at times seems like Pennington's need to periodically insert sensuality and sexuality into this story is more an effort to legitimize a relationship that never resonates.
There are, on the other hand, friendships that come vividly to life here and Pennington's recounting of a particularly jarring encounter with a creepy and likely predatory massage therapist is painful and raw in a way that largely escapes the rest of the book.
"Feral" feels very intentional. Each park is very intentionally mentioned, if only briefly. Pennington's regular references to a variety of spiritual teachers, Ram Dass and Thich Nhat Hanh for example, feel sculpted and overly prescriptive. While it's admirable that Pennington openly shares her own mental health struggles, throughout "Feral" there's an awful lot of "othering" the people around her including some body shaming that feels unnecessary. While the subtitle in "Feral" implies Pennington finding her way, a late sexual encounter seems to indicate more that the author has once again found her identity as a "girl" from the approval of a man.
This is not to say that I fully regret my time with "Feral," though much of what I'd hoped to experience with the book didn't occur. There are moments when it seems as if "Feral" may very well find its way, as well. This seems particularly true in the book's final third, though ultimately "Feral" is plagued by a story meant to inspire about people/characters who aren't particularly likable from beginning to end.
An Amazon First Read in January 2023 in advance of its planned February 1 release, "Feral" ultimately disappoints almost precisely because Pennington, much as is true for the journey itself, never gets out of her own way enough to allow the book to truly flourish. From incessant whining to enough Kindle references that it feels like product placement, "Feral" ultimately never becomes the book it promises to be.
Pennington's effort to visit every single one of America's 63 national parks within a single year serves as the framework for "Feral," a book that ultimately is less about the actual journey and far more about Pennington's inner journey toward a healthier version of herself as she experienced the loss of a two-year relationship and subsequently her home and began dealing with mental health issues that seemingly became exacerbated by the unique experiences offered by surrendering to the fullness of the national park experience.
Pennington's journey began almost parallel to the COVID-19 pandemic that largely shut down American life for the better part of that very year. That sense of "forbidden journey" is pervasive throughout "Feral," partly because it actually was at times forbidden and partly because Pennington at times self-reports the various ways she skirted around the pandemic's limitations, closures, and restrictions with seeming ease largely owing to a more casual small town approach to the pandemic.
It's likely unsurprising that over the course of a book that is barely over 250 pages that the fullness of Pennington's travel isn't ever really fully captured. While some parks do get a decent amount of detail, others seem worthy of barely more than a sentence or two. Instead, Pennington gives far more attention to her ongoing relationship with her love of two years, Adam, though I must confess there wasn't a single page in "Feral" where I actually bought into the relationship or its potential. Quite honestly, as written both Adam and Emily seem like self-absorbed, dysfunctional human beings. While self-absorbed, dysfunctional human beings can certainly be successful in relationships, and it at times seems like Pennington's need to periodically insert sensuality and sexuality into this story is more an effort to legitimize a relationship that never resonates.
There are, on the other hand, friendships that come vividly to life here and Pennington's recounting of a particularly jarring encounter with a creepy and likely predatory massage therapist is painful and raw in a way that largely escapes the rest of the book.
"Feral" feels very intentional. Each park is very intentionally mentioned, if only briefly. Pennington's regular references to a variety of spiritual teachers, Ram Dass and Thich Nhat Hanh for example, feel sculpted and overly prescriptive. While it's admirable that Pennington openly shares her own mental health struggles, throughout "Feral" there's an awful lot of "othering" the people around her including some body shaming that feels unnecessary. While the subtitle in "Feral" implies Pennington finding her way, a late sexual encounter seems to indicate more that the author has once again found her identity as a "girl" from the approval of a man.
This is not to say that I fully regret my time with "Feral," though much of what I'd hoped to experience with the book didn't occur. There are moments when it seems as if "Feral" may very well find its way, as well. This seems particularly true in the book's final third, though ultimately "Feral" is plagued by a story meant to inspire about people/characters who aren't particularly likable from beginning to end.
An Amazon First Read in January 2023 in advance of its planned February 1 release, "Feral" ultimately disappoints almost precisely because Pennington, much as is true for the journey itself, never gets out of her own way enough to allow the book to truly flourish. From incessant whining to enough Kindle references that it feels like product placement, "Feral" ultimately never becomes the book it promises to be.
January 7, 2023
Where to begin 🤔
This book is in top 5 worst books I ever read!
I was expecting fun adventure with self growth, this book is nothing like that. Most of parks is rushed over, you just don't feel any joy in it, author is very negative, complaining a lot, very judgemental! There's a lot opposite statement in this book!
She was planning it for years, but yet surprised with a lot things, sounds very unprepared and not ready for this adventure! She wanted solo trip, but most of it she's accompanied and don't even have time for self growth. She wants to connect with nature, but complains about whether, other people, State Park laws, being tired and basically everything! For someone who should be experienced in Parks, hiking and backpacking, she sounds a lot like newbie 🙄
And let's not forget her break up with Adam, it took more space in this book then Parks and it was constant complaining and crying!
I'm very disappointed with this book 😒
This book is in top 5 worst books I ever read!
I was expecting fun adventure with self growth, this book is nothing like that. Most of parks is rushed over, you just don't feel any joy in it, author is very negative, complaining a lot, very judgemental! There's a lot opposite statement in this book!
She was planning it for years, but yet surprised with a lot things, sounds very unprepared and not ready for this adventure! She wanted solo trip, but most of it she's accompanied and don't even have time for self growth. She wants to connect with nature, but complains about whether, other people, State Park laws, being tired and basically everything! For someone who should be experienced in Parks, hiking and backpacking, she sounds a lot like newbie 🙄
And let's not forget her break up with Adam, it took more space in this book then Parks and it was constant complaining and crying!
I'm very disappointed with this book 😒
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 5, 2023
This is not the story of one person's quest to visit every national park. This is a story of one person's downward spiral toward rock bottom, while she also happens to be visiting national parks. The two ultimately have nothing to do with each other. I kept reading only because I wanted her to finally realize how irresponsible and selfish she was being. But nope. She just wanted a good night's sleep.
January 7, 2023
“…life is…a barrage of the abrasive and the sublime, the sick and the magical, the vomit and the glitter. “
Travel writer Emily Pennington chronicles the year she planned to visit 62 national parks—a year that marked the start of the pandemic, the destruction of the relationship with her partner Adam, and both her and Adam’s mental health struggles. The memoir dips into mythological references, purpley prose, and cringeworthy reveals such as “My body was once a pleasure box, but it had become a machine primed for quick movement over vast landscapes.”
Pennington, who self identifies as “a manic pixie dream girl,” shares her less than than charitable views, calling other park visitors “muggles” for not being hardcore hikers and for using the beautiful landscapes for social media photo ops. Then there’s the flagrant admissions of bucking the system such as by camping without paying, violating lockdown mandates, backpacking without a park permit, parking in illegal campsites, and exposing passengers to COVID by traveling by aircraft while infected.
I was disappointed to find the parks melded together and the descriptions of the various sights take a backseat to discussions of her sex life and her on again off again relationship with Adam, “her cuddle cult leader.”
Travel writer Emily Pennington chronicles the year she planned to visit 62 national parks—a year that marked the start of the pandemic, the destruction of the relationship with her partner Adam, and both her and Adam’s mental health struggles. The memoir dips into mythological references, purpley prose, and cringeworthy reveals such as “My body was once a pleasure box, but it had become a machine primed for quick movement over vast landscapes.”
Pennington, who self identifies as “a manic pixie dream girl,” shares her less than than charitable views, calling other park visitors “muggles” for not being hardcore hikers and for using the beautiful landscapes for social media photo ops. Then there’s the flagrant admissions of bucking the system such as by camping without paying, violating lockdown mandates, backpacking without a park permit, parking in illegal campsites, and exposing passengers to COVID by traveling by aircraft while infected.
I was disappointed to find the parks melded together and the descriptions of the various sights take a backseat to discussions of her sex life and her on again off again relationship with Adam, “her cuddle cult leader.”
January 11, 2023
Not What I Expected
The "Wild" bus has left the station and you were not on it.
I was expecting a book that would bring alive the author's experiences of the national forests and how they impacted her. This book was about the author's extreme angst and personal life as she also happens to be traveling to national forests around the country, doing just a little more than checkboxing them. She gives a more detailed description of an encounter with a pervo masseuse than she does for any one forest.
I have a friend who backpacks, camps and hikes regularly. When she tells me about her trips, she describes the brilliant blue sky, the sunsets, the crunch of snow, stumbling onto a meadow of wildflowers. She tells me how seeing these things makes her feel. She never whines about eating two granola bars for dinner or huddling in a tent while it rains; these are givens on such a trip.
What a waste of time, resources and experience.
The "Wild" bus has left the station and you were not on it.
I was expecting a book that would bring alive the author's experiences of the national forests and how they impacted her. This book was about the author's extreme angst and personal life as she also happens to be traveling to national forests around the country, doing just a little more than checkboxing them. She gives a more detailed description of an encounter with a pervo masseuse than she does for any one forest.
I have a friend who backpacks, camps and hikes regularly. When she tells me about her trips, she describes the brilliant blue sky, the sunsets, the crunch of snow, stumbling onto a meadow of wildflowers. She tells me how seeing these things makes her feel. She never whines about eating two granola bars for dinner or huddling in a tent while it rains; these are givens on such a trip.
What a waste of time, resources and experience.
March 11, 2023
I made it to about 40% before I quit. The writing is weird. She rushes through the parks so fast I had no idea which one she was in half the time. The descriptions are overdone. Random sex scenes appear for no reason. The sentence "Adam playfully bit at my nipples while I reached for his zipper to properly thank him for the beer" will haunt me for years. I don't know when the soul-searching shows up - mostly it was just her complaining about the trip she planned and committed a year of her life to.
January 15, 2023
Worst "adventure" memoir ever
I love the National Parks, I love adventure, and I love reading about others' experiences. What I don't love is when an author overuses literary devices in a lame attempt to bring a story to life, but then forgets to tell a story worth reading at the same time. I couldn't do it, and I rarely abandon a book, but I quit this one five times. I kept coming back, thinking it had to get better. It didn't. The only good thing about this book was it was free. I just wish I had chosen a different one this month.
I love the National Parks, I love adventure, and I love reading about others' experiences. What I don't love is when an author overuses literary devices in a lame attempt to bring a story to life, but then forgets to tell a story worth reading at the same time. I couldn't do it, and I rarely abandon a book, but I quit this one five times. I kept coming back, thinking it had to get better. It didn't. The only good thing about this book was it was free. I just wish I had chosen a different one this month.
January 6, 2023
I wanted to read about the parks that were visited, but most of the book was whining about her relationships. I did not enjoy this book and dropped it halfway
January 8, 2023
As a lover of the national parks, I was looking forward to a book describing the scenic beauty and an adventure. This is not that book. This is a book of a human who tried to cram them all in a year and reads like someone trying to check everything off a list.
There were more details about her crumbling love life and anxiety than there were about the actual parks.
It’s hard to feel positive emotion for someone that travelled all over the USA during the pandemic sneaking into closed parks to “make it” within a year instead of truly enjoying the experience of a National Park.
There were more details about her crumbling love life and anxiety than there were about the actual parks.
It’s hard to feel positive emotion for someone that travelled all over the USA during the pandemic sneaking into closed parks to “make it” within a year instead of truly enjoying the experience of a National Park.
April 9, 2023
A disappointment. Perhaps it was bad marketing leading me to believe there would be more about the National Parks. Lots of self-absorbed whining and too much angst. Perhaps appealing to younger readers who are still mapping out their interior selves but this felt sophomoric and overwrought to me as an older reader. Purple prose was suffocating - she never met an adjective she couldn’t use. Cannot recommend.
April 10, 2023
Premise: woman plans out a year-long trip to visit all 62 National Parks and despite setbacks (a breakup, COVID, etc.) learns resilience and self-reliance.
Reality: LOTS of whining and complaining and weird sexual references/scenes
Pennington mentions the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed as some of her inspiration, but this book is no Wild. Pennington ironically started planning this trip after a breakup with the man who inspired her to be adventurous outdoors, "What if I was less in love with David and more in love with the adventures he introduced me to? What if I struck out on my own and planned a yearlong journey across America, solo?" (p. 176) She then proceeds to get into a new relationship not long into the planning and alternately irritated by her boyfriend Adam when he does come along and then desperately lonely and unhappy when he doesn't. I thought after their breakup in chapter 4 or 5 it would get better - but it didn't. The whole book is mostly her drama before, during, and after the break up, being sick (she must have a horrible immune system), being worried about being sick when COVID comes around, and very weird sexual experiences/descriptions/situations that did not help the book AT ALL. I feel like a jerk saying this, but she was just AWFUL. Adam didn't seem like a winner either, but I felt bad for him and how she portrayed him in the book. The parks were often just barely mentioned or glossed over and her obvious disdain for any "tourists" who weren't hardcore hikers/backpackers/etc. was very off putting. Also, if you're going to write a book like this and talk about all the pictures you took it would have been nice to have some color pictures included in the book. There were black and white photos at the beginning of each chapter, but that could have helped bring this book back to what it was supposed to be - a yearlong adventure in the 62 National Parks. Overall, I really wish I had quit reading it when she and Adam were in Alaska or not picked it up at all.
A MUCH better National Parks book is Leave Only Footprints by Conor Knighton.
Reality: LOTS of whining and complaining and weird sexual references/scenes
Pennington mentions the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed as some of her inspiration, but this book is no Wild. Pennington ironically started planning this trip after a breakup with the man who inspired her to be adventurous outdoors, "What if I was less in love with David and more in love with the adventures he introduced me to? What if I struck out on my own and planned a yearlong journey across America, solo?" (p. 176) She then proceeds to get into a new relationship not long into the planning and alternately irritated by her boyfriend Adam when he does come along and then desperately lonely and unhappy when he doesn't. I thought after their breakup in chapter 4 or 5 it would get better - but it didn't. The whole book is mostly her drama before, during, and after the break up, being sick (she must have a horrible immune system), being worried about being sick when COVID comes around, and very weird sexual experiences/descriptions/situations that did not help the book AT ALL. I feel like a jerk saying this, but she was just AWFUL. Adam didn't seem like a winner either, but I felt bad for him and how she portrayed him in the book. The parks were often just barely mentioned or glossed over and her obvious disdain for any "tourists" who weren't hardcore hikers/backpackers/etc. was very off putting. Also, if you're going to write a book like this and talk about all the pictures you took it would have been nice to have some color pictures included in the book. There were black and white photos at the beginning of each chapter, but that could have helped bring this book back to what it was supposed to be - a yearlong adventure in the 62 National Parks. Overall, I really wish I had quit reading it when she and Adam were in Alaska or not picked it up at all.
A MUCH better National Parks book is Leave Only Footprints by Conor Knighton.
July 10, 2023
Oof. I wanted to like this one, but ugh. I knew from the description that this memoir would be a lot about self-discovery, but I expected to also read a lot about our National Parks. Ends up the book is about 80% self-pity and complaining about her boyfriend…complaining about him not being with her, then complaining about him being there…followed by complaining about their breakup, then complaining about wanting him back, until he’s back and then she’s back to complaining about him being there again. 😂 Honestly, I thought the author came off as self-centered and insufferable. If you’re expecting this to be a book mainly about a cross-country road trip to visit 62 National Parks in a year, you’ll need to look elsewhere. #JusticeForExBoyfriendAdam 😂😂
February 22, 2023
Thank you NetGalley for accepting my request to read and review Feral.
Published: 02/01/23
Trashy
Language from F to female trash slang
Locked down -- found ways to break the law (Spoiled, entitled and selfish)
Her wish on older Americans leaves me speechless
A complete an utter waste of my time and head space
To my knowledge, there is no way of knowing the language extent prior to seeking approval. I would have skipped this.
Published: 02/01/23
Trashy
Language from F to female trash slang
Locked down -- found ways to break the law (Spoiled, entitled and selfish)
Her wish on older Americans leaves me speechless
A complete an utter waste of my time and head space
To my knowledge, there is no way of knowing the language extent prior to seeking approval. I would have skipped this.
January 12, 2023
Made it about 35% before I started skimming and skipping to the end. I unfortunately could not connect with this book and that left me with very little desire to put time into it. This definitely was not the national park journey I was expecting to read at all
June 28, 2023
The descriptions of national parks was great and I loved her details about travel and exploration, but I honestly didn’t want to hear her breakup story. I know it’s part of her journey, but I wanted to hear more about the parks and less about sex. Maybe I’m just old fashioned?
January 17, 2023
The entire book was about her relationship issues and “finding herself” or whatever. Not really about the national parks if that’s what you’re looking for. Not my cup of tea, the whole book felt like a giant complaint
June 18, 2023
I wanted more National Park, instead I got "Dear Diary".
January 4, 2023
Amazon January First Reads Book
Makes me want to go see some of the other parks. Felt like a very honest memoir.
Makes me want to go see some of the other parks. Felt like a very honest memoir.
April 4, 2023
I could not finish this book. I was disappointed in the author's "self discovery" journey. The author focuses on herself and her problems, not seeing much beyond that. She blames others for her emotional state and does not take much responsibility for changing herself. She mostly blames her boyfriend instead of looking inside and finding change in herself. She claims to want to lose herself in nature but can't disconnect from watching her phone at night or staying in hotels. Her trips through the National Parks seems like a task to undertake and not enjoy. I expected a discovery of the National Park's natural beauty. Too much whining and not enough Parks.
April 5, 2023
So many cringey things about this book but I almost DNFed with the self-congratulatory “love” she had for an overweight guy on a dating app who wasn’t “her type” but deserving of love nonetheless (what a concept!). Got really tired of the whiney “I know there’s a global pandemic and people are DYING but what about my Eat Pray Love hiking trip?!”
Skip this one.
Skip this one.
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