Dating Without Fear: Overcome Social Anxiety and Connect

by Thomas Smithyman

"Dating Without Fear blends solid, evidence-based science with relatable vulnerability. Both useful and entertaining, this gem of a book will transform your dating life."
—Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, Author of How to Be Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety

Discover how to overcome social anxiety and form genuine connections that are rooted in authentic self-confidence. This engaging, science-backed blueprint—written by a clinical psychologist—will help you understand your anxiety, work through it, and naturally connect.
 
Packed with proven strategies, personal stories, distilled research, and examples from his clinical practice, Dr. Thomas Smithyman leads you through the maze of dating-based social anxiety to help you discover the Warm Social World that awaits.
 
In Dating Without Fear, you will learn how
Unwind the beliefs that trigger social anxiety Reduce shame and overcome the fear of rejection Be seen and liked for who you truly are (flaws and all) Let go of worry, rumination, and overthinking Lower performance demands and find ease in social situations Express romantic interest and invite connection
It's possible to overcome your social anxiety, and it's possible to date without fear. Connection might be closer than you think.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Relationships

232 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 14, 2022

About the author

Thomas Smithyman PhD

Reviews

[Lainey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Erm so I have a boyfriend now

[Shaun Keeps · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good even just for a general social anxiety self help book, doesn't just repeat the same thing the other SA books say and gives a good way of looking at socializing that I haven't gotten elsewhere.

[Dmitry · Rating 3 out of 5]

(The English review is placed beneath the Russian one)

Главный плюс этой книги состоит в том, что автор коротко, но ёмко рассматривает основные проблемы, которые вызывают страх сделать первый шаг при знакомстве. К примеру, ощущение, что ты недостаточно интеллектуален, для знакомства с той или иной женщиной/мужчиной. Или наличие комплекса связанного с некими физическими характеристиками, как например «не тот нос» или наличие очков или кривизна зубов. Всё это также блокирует сделать первый шаг при знакомстве. Ну и, разумеется, автор затрагивает такой повсеместный вопрос, как страх получить отказ, т.е. что потенциальный партнёр может отказать. Каждый страх или каждый комплекс автор достаточно хорошо разрушает, развенчивает миф об идеальной ситуации, идеальном моменте и идеальном мужчине/женщине. Впрочем, ничего нового я для себя в этой книге не нашёл (многие моменты в книге самоочевидны & являются обычным здравым смыслом, но возможно для кого-то это будет ценным, чтобы кто-то озвучил этот самый здравый смысл).

The main advantage of this book is that the author briefly but succinctly addresses the main problems that cause fear of making the first step in dating. For example, the feeling that you are not intellectual enough to date this or that woman/man. Or the presence of a complex associated with certain physical characteristics, such as "wrong nose" or the presence of glasses or crooked teeth. All this also blocks to make the first step in dating. And, of course, the author touches upon such a ubiquitous issue as the fear of rejection, i.e., that a potential partner may refuse. Each fear or each complex the author destroys quite well, debunking the myth of an ideal situation, an ideal moment, and an ideal man/woman. However, I didn't find anything new for me in this book (many points in the book are self-evident & are common sense, but maybe for someone, it will be valuable for someone to voice this very common sense).

[Christine Leon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked it. I listened to it as an audiobook so idk if it would've been able to finish it in paperback but I'm glad I picked it up because it taught me a lot about social anxiety and also gave me insight on how badly dating anxiety affects some people. I picked up this book because I found the title intruiging, not because dating anxiety was a straining problem of mine that I was trying to resolve, but I feel as though after reading it, I feel more open to approaching people in general, whether romatic or not. I especially liked the authors personal experience with rejection therapy and exposure therapy. It can be preachy at times though but when are these sort of books not? I liked it! Reccomend.

[Ziyan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoyed this read. Initially picked it up because I thought the title was amusing, but wasn’t expecting much. However, the book was well-written, with simple concepts explained with very simple examples and anecdotes. I liked that the book backed up the statements with published work at the end of each chapter. Discusses the warm social world beyond the dating anxiety and how people need to be more open, focus on the other person, be themselves and be less threat focused and more collaborative. Good, quick read!

[Jessy Goat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite self-helpy, but it did give me some great insights.

[Julen · Rating 5 out of 5]

good, practical and recognizable book. love his writing style

[peterkiss1050 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Found this book at the right time.
I feel I'm at the beginning of his journey: the random little experiments phase.
Honestly, very informative book. Makes you think. Would recommend.

[David]

Wahrscheinlich eines der besten Datingbücher überhaupt!

[Erica L · Rating 5 out of 5]

me anxious. this made me less anxious, good deal.