Take Off the Masks

by Malcolm Boyd, Bo Young (Preface), Dan Vera (Preface)

For over sixty years, Malcolm Boyd has written truthfully about his own journey to fullness. From theologian to civil rights pioneer to coffee house troubadour to gay rights icon, Boyd has courageously and whole-heartedly shown the way to a deeper, more honest examination of all our lives, leading by example. White Crane Books is proud to re-release Boyd's classic spiritual biography and coming out story, Take Off the Masks, for a new generation of readers hungry for its insight, honesty and soulful perception. With a new introduction by Boyd's life partner, Mark Thompson, and a newly added postscript by Rev. Canon Boyd himself.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, LGBT

178 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1978

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads data base.

Malcolm Boyd was an American Episcopal priest and author. He was one of the prominent white clergymen in the American Civil Rights Movement in the 60s as well as the anti-Vietnam War movement. In 1977 Boyd came out of the closet, becoming the most prominent gay clergy person to come out. In the 1980s Boyd met the gay activist and author Mark Thompson, who would become his long-time partner. He is the author of more than 30 books.

Crisis in Communication (Doubleday, 1957)

Christ and Celebrity Gods (Seabury, 1958)

Focus: Rethinking the Meaning of Our Evangelism (Morehouse-Barlow, 1960)

If I Go Down to Hell (Morehouse-Barlow, 1962)

The Hunger, the Thirst (Morehouse-Barlow, 1964)

Are You Running with Me, Jesus? (Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1965/40th anniversary edition, 2005), became a bestseller

Free to Live, Free to Die (Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1967)

Malcolm Boyd's Book of Days (Random House, 1968)

The Fantasy Worlds of Peter Stone and Other Fables (Harper & Row, 1969)

As I Live and Breathe (Random House, 1969)
My Fellow Americans (Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1970)

Human Like Me, Jesus (Simon and Schuster, 1971)

The Lover (Word Books, 1972)

The Runner (Word Books, 1974)

The Alleluia Affair (Word Books, 1975)
Christian: Its Meanings in an Age of Future Shock (Hawthorn, 1975)

Am I Running with You, God? (Doubleday, 1977)

Take Off the Masks (Doubleday, 1978; rev. ed. HarperCollins 1993, White Crane Books 2008)

Look Back in Joy (Gay Sunshine Press, 1981; rev. ed. Alyson, 1990)

Half Laughing, Half Crying (St. Martin's Press, 1986)

Gay Priest: An Inner Journey (St. Martin's Press, 1986)

Edges, Boundaries and Connections (Broken Moon Press, 1992)

Rich with Years: Daily Meditations on Growing Older (HarperCollins, 1994)

Go Gentle Into That Good Night (Genesis Press, 1998)

Simple Grace: A Mentor's Guide to Growing Older (Westminster John Knox, 2001)

Prayers for the Later Years (Augsburg, 2002)

A Prophet in His Own Land: The Malcolm Boyd Reader (edited by Bo Young/Dan Vera) (White Crane Books, 2008)

Edited by Malcolm Boyd
On the Battle Lines: A Manifesto for Our Times (Morehouse-Barlow, 1964)
The Underground Church (Sheed & Ward, 1968)
When in the Course of Human Events (with Paul Conrad, Sheed & Ward, 1973)
Amazing Grace: Stories of Lesbian and Gay Faith (with Nancy L. Wilson, Crossing Press, 1991)
Race & Prayer: Collected Voices, Many Dreams (w/Chester Talton, Morehouse, 2003)
In Times Like These…How We Pray (with J. Jon Bruno, Seabury, 2005)

Reviews

[Ije the Devourer of Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Malcolm Boyd was an amazing man who passed away at the age of 91 earlier this year. His life was full of activism and working for social justice and I admire him deeply.

In 1977 Malcolm, who was an Episcopal (Anglican) priest, came out as gay. It was at that time he decided to live as who he really was and not as the person society expected him to be. This took great courage and was a risk to his ministry as a priest. I am so glad he found the courage to do that because in so doing he has passed on in his writings his own journey towards full humanity. Fully human and fully alive.

In this book Malcolm provides a frank re-telling of his journey to reconcile his sexuality and his spirituality. His life was centred on God. He had a remarkable faith and an understanding of God that was rooted in reason, experience and belief. I think his faith gave him the strength to wrestle with who he truly was and determine to live fully who he really was.

In adulthood he explored his sexuality with both stable and fleeting relationships. These relationships and friendships formed part of his journey towards being himself. He is very frank about his sexuality and describes his sexual needs as being strong and demanding. He actually had some relationships that he desired would be established and long term but as a priest at a time when homosexuality was unaccepted this was impossible.

When I think about him I realise it is not just in his sexuality that he was strong. His writings depict a man who was strong and courageous and honest in himself. He found short term, fleeting affairs to be very dissatisfying but there was no way of having an established relationship of the same sex and marriage was not available. This to me speaks of the redemptive power of marriage for everyone and the stability and comfort it can bring.

Why then should same sex couples be denied this comfort?

Why should anyone be forced into a life of loneliness just because they are gay?

I think Malcolm Boyd must have been the kind of man that other people, both men and women, would have wanted to follow. He was the kind of man who could bear the burdens of others even though he had burdens of his own. He is very much the kind of man I would want as a priest, a dad or a husband because he had inner integrity, true love for others and deep strength. All of this rooted in a truthful spirituality, qualities not found everywhere.

Over the years Malcolm realised that so many of his clergy colleagues were gay. He actually had relationships with some of them and he recognises in his writings the way in which the church deceives itself. He describes this as 'massive deceptions and denials of selfhood.'

And quite right too!

This resonated with me. As a priest I find this dichotomy exists within my own church. I see it as deception and a church that is not truthful about who it really is before God and people. The Church of England tries to present a heterosexual face to the world and yet so many of our clergy are gay. Gay, godly, loving, hard working and loyal and sacrificial in their service. Yet the C of E doesn't acknowledge this and where it does it tries to control their behaviour.

* In the Church of England gay clergy
can enter civil partnerships but they must not be of a sexual nature.

*In the Church of England gay clergy are not allowed to enter into same sex marriage.

*In the Church of England gay clergy are not allowed to have sex with someone of the same sex.

But my clergy colleagues are there serving faithfully and they all interpret these rules differently. Some do, some don't, and possibly some would if they could. As a divorced woman I look at all these rules with bemusement because if I were a Bishop I wouldn't want to go poking my fingers into the sexual ethics of my clergy. I would want them to live guided by their conscience, their faith and their love of God and people.

As Malcolm says 'I began to wonder how much double-standard ethics an institution can tolerate and still maintain it's integrity.' (page 92)

And as I say 'Preach it my brother'!!!

He hits the nail on the head. Some churches are deceiving themselves but we cannot deceive God who knows us in our innermost being.

I think the only way to respond to this is to follow Revd Malcolm's example and live and speak the truth and be who we really are in our churches as gay, straight, black, white, old young and so on. God loves diversity and the church must find ways of respecting and embracing the reality of diversity. It isn't easy but it isn't impossible either.

I think churches in general have come a long way since the days when Malcolm Boyd was first ordained and to realise that he didn't even have the option to live openly as a gay man and priest makes his story all the more remarkable.

But there is something else at the heart of his memoir and this is about the need for ALL of us to take off the masks. We don't have to be gay to live with a mask. For me I need to look at who I really am and how I live my own life. Who do people see and do they see who I really am? I hope they do because one thing I realise from Malcolm's writing is that it is truly exhausting and mentally and spiritually debilitating to live a false life.

Beyond the masks Malcolm Boyd writes as a priest. His life was one of mission, serving God and serving people and I loved the way in which he made the Gospel come alive even though this didn't sit well with people. His outreach to black people didn't sit well with some of his white congregation members. His outreach to students didn't meet with the approval of his Bishop but Malcom says 'my job was in the world' (page 93) and he continued that job until the end.

Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. I pray that we may all live as Malcolm Boyd did and be able to courageously take off our own masks.

[Steven H · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE ‘RUNNING WITH ME JESUS’ PRIEST LOOKS BACK OVER HIS LIFE

Malcolm Boyd (1923-2015) was an American Episcopal Priest, author, and civil rights and gay activist. He was known in the '60s as "The Espresso Priest" for his religiously-themed poetry-reading sessions at the "Hungry i" nightclub in San Francisco (the period for which this 1965 book relates). In 1977 he came "out of the closet" (see his book, ' Gay Priest: An Inner Journey.')

He wrote in the Introduction to this 1984 book, “This has been in some ways a painful book to write, yes; but a liberating, affirming, and---finally---happy one…it means takin a lantern and casting bright light into what was a forbidden dungeon of my life… society and the church … taught me… Hide inside a dark closet, and never step outside unless you wear a socially acceptable mask that obscures your truth and is therefore a lie… now I know that I am a gay person—whole, healthy, blessed, happy, created in God’s image and free of the past horrors of human slavery.” (Pg. 2) He continues, “Why do I write this book? For the sake openness, honesty, sharing, and solidarity with other people. I have taken seriously being a Christian in worship, prayer, church reform, interfaith relations race, peace, ecumenism, women’s rights. THIS is now necessary for me as a born-again person. My life is in mid-course… I do not ASK for my right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness in what will inevitably be the final years of my life. This right belongs to me. I claim it.” (Pg. 7)

He recalls that in high school, “My gay sexuality remained submerged, by what power of the will I can now only wonder at, during this period of my maximum sexual intensity.” (Pg. 44) He continues, “After graduating from college, I went to Hollywood… I had to decide between the priorities of a career and personal, sexual ones. Like the majority of people, I chose at the expense of my sexuality.” (Pg. 50) Later, he adds, “During the years in the Berkeley seminary, I could consider my homosexuality my own special burden, a test, if you will, of my devotion to Christ and the teachings of His Church. It was something to be repressed, set aside, and overcome. ‘Burn me; burn away the dross!’” (Pg. 77)

But he wonders, “Could I not stand, alone before my God, and say, ‘This is who I am. I can be no other.’ Wasn’t this the essence of Christianity—a direct and personal relationship between a human being and God? ‘Listen... I am part of your creation. I have found a capacity to love. I do not believe that that is sin. I do not believe I should be cut off from your love because of it… I do not want your mercy for this. For other things I need your mercy… I am grateful that you permit me to work as a co-creator with you in evolving, changing, sacred life.’” (Pg. 78)

He observes, “If honesty was a Christian virtue, what was I to make of these massive deceptions and denials of selfhood? Earlier, I could think of myself as only an isolated deviant, and deception my special burden. But as my knowledge of church life grew to include not just the sanctuary, the rectory, and the classroom but also the bedroom, I began to wonder how much double-standard ethics an institution can tolerate and still maintain its integrity.” (Pg. 92)

He recounts, “At Colorado State I held religious ‘espresso meetings’ accompanied by bongo drums… I was soon to be known as ‘The beatnik priest.’ … Those alienated students were part of the world at Colorado State,.My job was in the world... Except that with me, that vocation had a special intensity, because I was part of a world, too---a hidden gay world…. But it didn’t show. I was a highly visible public figure… But I was an invisible man, who only revealed himself when he chose to in shadowed surroundings.” (Pg. 92-93) But later he adds, “I did not become an activist simply as a response to my sexual repression.” (Pg. 100)

He says of his book, ‘Are You Running With Me, Jesus?’ that “The impulse to write the book came from my increasing inability to pray. I had assumed that prayer was necessarily verbal. I forced myself to use archaic words, battling against my growing disillusionment and boredom… I virtually sopped praying, except for using the Lord’s Prayer.” (Pg./ 139)

In the last chapter, he summarizes, “I do not mean to idealize the gay world. It has its own pitfalls, nightmares, cruelties, hypocrites, and arrogance. It has cliques, difficult prima donnas, open warfare, and dreadful absences of compassion. In these respects it resembles the straight world. But don’t forget that is has its own code language, styles, rituals, threats posed against its existence, and fears. And it has its own strength.” (Pg. 160)

This book will be of keen interest to LGBT persons, and their supporters.

[RussBear · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hands down, this is my most favorite gay book. I'm so happy that a new paperback edition has been issued so a new generation of gay readers can discover Malcolm Boyd's beautiful coming out story.

Unfortunately, Boyd has almost been forgotten and is seldom given his due credit as a pioneer for gay rights. From the 1950s through the 1970s, Boyd was one of the most famous religious writers in America. As an Episcopalian priest, he wrote dozens of acclaimed and bestselling books on religion and spirituality. At the height of his career in the mid-70's, Boyd "took off the mask" in this autobiography and revealed his homosexuality. He did this, of course, at a time when being openingly gay was dangerous. It destroyed Boyd's career and he suffered severely for his honesty. But in this book Boyd writes an eloquent and mesmerizing plea for his self-respect and dignity as a human being.

I read this book more than 15 years ago but I will never forget it. By the time I reached the last page, I was crying--and few books can move me to tears.