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280 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 19, 2022
“Sunshine,” he says and I shiver. His deep rumbling voice has that effect on me.
“Mr. X,” I say, reaching for the jar of liquorice he always asks for. He never tells me his name and I’ve given up asking.
“I feel like this is a bad idea,” I mutter. “Like Alice right before she went down the rabbit hole.”
They’re wearing the same jacket as Mr. X, or Blade as I now know him. They either all shop together or this is some kind of gang.
“This is no place for you, Sunshine. Take your little crazy friend and go back to those overpriced bars you find fun.”
“My friend is drunk. Your friend is easy. It’ll not end well,” he says. He takes my drink from my hand, though it’s still full. “Go shine somewhere else,” he says quietly.
Christ, I’m a wanton whore. I bury my head in my hands. It’s like all sense leaves me whenever Mr. X is around. What the hell was I thinking, kissing him like that in the kitchen when Travis was right upstairs? I groan.
“Oh Christ, you didn’t have sex with Travis, did you?” I shake my head. “Nope. I’m proud of myself on that front. He slept in the spare room. He tried to get in my bed, but I was strong.”
“Goodbye, Matilda,” he whispers against my mouth.
“I hope I marry someone who makes me as happy as Gramps made you,” I say.
“Madness. That boy’s never coming back, sweet girl. The only time you’ll see him again is if he can’t get it elsewhere because now he knows where he can get it easy.”
Charlotte smiles at me from across the clubhouse. She’s hot, but I’ve been there once before.
“No thanks needed. You’re off-limits being Lake’s sister.” She pouts. “A biker with morals?” “A biker who loves his balls attached to his body,” I say, smirking.
Sara goes to the bar so I can stay hidden. I watch Travis and I’m not surprised when a blonde female joins him, kissing his cheek and taking his hand. This is exactly what I needed to see to make me realise he uses me.
“I’m Sara. This is Tillie. She just dumped your boyfriend,” says Sara to the girl behind Travis. He glances back like he’s just remembered she’s there. The girl’s eyes almost bug out from her head and her hands go to her hips. “Sorry, what?” she snaps. Sara nods. “Yep. He’s a rat.”
“I suspected he was sleeping around but to have a kid and live with someone else,” I shake my head, “what a prick.”
“When am I gonna find a man to take care of me?” I ask. “Where’s my prince?”
“You said I have to stay away from you,” I remind him. “Fuck what I said. I’m horny as fuck and you just flashed me your panties.”
A woman stops by Blade and places her hand on his chest. “Big brother’s busy,” she says seductively, “if you wanna join me.” “I told you, Charlotte. Ain’t gonna happen again.”
“Ouch, caught cheating. What did you do?” “Not a lot,” she says. “Turns out I’m the other woman. He lives with her and they have a kid.”
“Christ, he’s been having an affair for a year!” I gasp and she scowls at me. “Sorry, I just can’t believe he’s been getting away with that and neither of you knew.”
“You let me kiss you twice, you got undressed in front of me last weekend and showed me what you got hidden under there,” I say, plucking at the hem of her short dress. “And then you flashed me your panties . . . in the street!”
Blade narrows his eyes. “I see I have to step up my game with you.” “That's just the thing,” I wail. “Game!” He takes a deep, impatient breath, then sits on the edge of his bed. “Why does it have to be a game?” I ask.
“It ain’t scary,” he says. “But who wants a relationship when you can spread the love?” He laughs, but when he sees my frown, he presses his lips together.
Having Tillie sleep in my bed isn’t a good idea. She might see more into it. And I’ve never had a woman sleep in my bed unless I was buried inside her. Even then, I’d kick her out rather than sleep beside her.
“If you had a girlfriend, you’d have someone to sort that out,” she says. I grip it through my jeans and she blushes. “There’s plenty of women around here to help me with it, but seeing as you’re my guest, I thought I’d treat you to breakfast the Kings Reapers way.”
“God, no,” I say. “He’s only after one thing and I’m sick of being used. You and Lake, on the other hand . . .” “That’s done,” she says glumly. “He made it perfectly clear he wasn’t looking for anything. He practically kicked me out at three in the morning,” she adds.
“I am. There’s nothing between us. She ain’t like other girls, Pres.”
“What I mean is, she don’t put up with my bull. She pulls me up on shit,” I say.
We turn the corner and I inwardly groan. The bar where he drinks with his biker friends is right there and I pray he isn’t taking me in there. “The Windsor?” Blade grins at me. “Yeah. Best place for a party.”
“No,” I interrupt before they can get into an argument. “This is our first date.” They all turn to me with wide eyes. “Date?” Anna repeats, and I nod. “Blade never dates.”
The women break out into laughter and I relax knowing they were just kidding with me. “If this was my first date, I’d have walked out and gone home,” says Anna.
“Another thing,” I say. “My date was with me, and she saw everything.” “Shit, brother, what were you thinking?” groans Cree.
“And you think she’s okay with you killing a man if she wouldn’t hurt a fly?” asks Cree, raising a brow.
“Fine by me. I only agreed to this date to get in that tight little cunt of yours. Turns out, it wasn’t worth the hassle.”
“You kissed him,” he growls. “Your point?” “You didn’t kiss me on our first date!”
“Tell me you’re on the pill, Sunshine. I need to feel all of you.” She nods, crying out as my fingers probe the heat of her pussy.
“Goodbye sex is always hot,” she whispers, running her nails up and down my back.
“All future dates with anyone other than me will need to be cancelled,” he adds.
“You’re right. Riggs and Cree told me it wouldn’t work. Marry her or threaten her, they said. I chose to threaten you,” I take a few steps away, “cos I knew I couldn’t marry you. I don’t see you as a long-term plan. Remember what I said about the cops. Keep your mouth shut.” I turn and walk away. Fuck women—they’re nothing but trouble.
“Your real dad was a biker,” she blurts out and I freeze, my eyes fixed on her. She’s never talked about my real dad.
“But I do worry, Tils,” she mumbles. “I worry your dad will find you, that he’ll hurt us again.”
“I don’t pay for sex,” I snap. “I don’t need to.” “Cos you can tap Charlotte whenever you feel like it,” states Chains.
“That totally makes me sound like a whore,” snaps Hannah, and Gia laughs. “Long story short, I was with Blu and had Molly. We split. I got remarried, to a woman, and Blu agreed to give us another child. We used IVF and, ta-dah, I’m pregnant.”
“I’m not a kid,” Anna snaps, getting to her feet and swaying slightly. “And I’m not Michelle! I am allowed to drink alcohol,” she hisses.
“Yeah. I’m ready to get back out there. Find a woman and take her home,” I say, grinning.
“I am not fucking addicted to no woman. I’m free and single. Not like you bitches,” I say, wandering into the crowd of beautiful women.
(SEX WO) “Oh fuck,” groans a female, and I smirk to myself. Someone’s having a good night. “It’s too cramped in here, Sunshine.” I bristle at the sound of Blade’s panting voice. I hear the cubicle door open and the pair fall out into the bathroom. I lift my feet and wince. What the fuck do I do now? And he called her Sunshine, the fucking bastard! “It’s soft,” pants the woman. “You want me to go down there?” “No, give me a minute to warm up,” he pants, and the sounds of their kissing fill my ears. I screw my face up in disgust. I sit for another few seconds and then my mobile phone shrills to life and I grit my teeth, glaring at the screen angrily, trying desperately to shut it up. I cancel Sara’s call and take a deep breath. I’m not hiding in the toilet. We’re not together, so he isn’t doing anything wrong. I run my fingers through my hair, take a deep breath and unlock the door.
They don’t notice as I step out of the cubicle. Blade is all hands, grabbing every bit of flesh he can find, and she’s scratching her fake nails down his back.
He narrows his eyes. “You dumped me, Tillie.” “And you called her Sunshine,” I snap, needing to get that little bit of information off my chest. “That’s a shitty move.” “It’s just a nickname. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Blade, you don’t trust me. If you did, you wouldn’t have ruined what we had and accused me of running to the cops and giving information. What you should be doing is finding out who did go to the cops. Because if it wasn’t me, then someone else knows.”
“It shouldn’t be allowed. You lied and tricked me. That’s not ethical and we’re supposed to trust the police, guys like you.”
“I feel like an idiot, Sara. Between them, I feel used, like they’ve been laughing behind my back. When did I get so gullible?”
“I will never be so stupid again. You’ve taught me a very important lesson,” I say. “To never trust anyone. To keep your circle small and to never, ever, trust a man like you again. If you don’t stay away from me, I’ll move away. I’ll sell Nan’s shop and move. So if you feel anything for me at all, you’ll keep away from me.”
“No good will come of your digging up the past. Cobra wasn’t your dad. He was a rapist, a murderer, and he deserved what he got.”
I was right—Sara jumped straight back into bed with Lake, and now, three days on, she hasn’t heard from him . . . again.
Sara is unusually quiet and I’m starting to worry that this goes beyond heartbreak.
“This says twelve weeks,” she sobs, waving the stick around. “Twelve fucking weeks. I’ve had periods.” “And it’s Lake’s?” I ask. She nods. “I’m so stupid,” she wails.
“Twelve weeks?” he mutters. His eyes meet mine. “Twelve weeks?” “Let me explain,” I begin. “Is it Ethan’s? You said there was nothing between you!” he yells. “I didn’t have sex with Ethan,” I snap. “Keep your voice down.” “We didn’t have unprotected sex, Matilda, so don’t fucking lie to me!” he yells. “Unless you lied about the pill?”
“The test isn’t mine,” I hiss. I can see in his eyes he doesn’t believe me. It’s another blow that he still doesn’t trust me. “When will you trust me?” I ask.
“It’s not me who doesn’t trust. He accused me of going to the cops, remember?” I ask.
“This is what you want, right? To find out all my deepest, darkest secrets? Your mum made me feel like that weak kid all over again, today.” She shakes her head and swipes at her tear-stained face. “Oh right, these stories are too much for your fairy tale head,” I snap.
I’m not so self-absorbed that I don’t know that shit goes on in the world, but I wasn’t expecting him to say all that stuff. And then to throw Ethan at me . . . again.
“Don’t be like that, Tils,” I mutter. “We’re gonna be okay,” I add. “There is no we. You really think that your weird behaviour is okay?” she snaps. “You think it’s okay to yell at me, then just pack your shit up and leave me alone in a hotel then leave me a voicemail telling me we aren’t over?”
“It means,” I begin, “that I love you, Sunshine. I love you so fucking much.” She smiles wide and then bites on her lower lip. “You love me?” she repeats. I nod, smiling at her cute face. “I love you too,” she admits.