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467 pages, ebook
First published January 5, 2023
Caleb: “Yeah. Which direction, Nika?” He felt a nudge on his arm. Nika: “How about I get back in front? Then I won’t have to tell you.” He conceded the point and grudgingly let her retake the lead.
I realized—or remembered, I guess. This is the promise I made to myself when I became an intelligence agent so long ago. By choosing to protect people, I agreed to take on the burden of doing the hard things. I bear the responsibility, and at times the guilt, that comes with committing violence, with imposing death on wrongdoers. I bear it willingly. It's another way I can safeguard the innocent. Not just from bloodshed, but from remorse and sorrow. “I’ve never had a problem shouldering the weight…or I didn’t until Akeso came along. Carrying such innocence in my mind, in my soul, complicated matters.
Ar-ar-re you re-eal?
Nika waited for someone to protest that Perrin had been a member of NOIR, but no one did—presumably because they realized she would vault across the table and plant her foot down their throat if they did.
Noah appeared at her side and pulled her into a bear hug. “You were absolutely brilliant. And scary.” “Really? I don't feel scary.” Kennedy suddenly realized she was shaking against his chest; blinking away tears, too. It was okay, though. She'd held it together when it mattered. “Terrifying. Chairman Greer is running off to the lavatory to piss himself. And I'm considering buying you a whip and some skin-clinging leather for your birthday.”
I kind of feel twenty years younger, as though all the wear and tear is gone, but that's still me, right? And I, um, stopped by St. Joseph's on my way here. God didn't smite me down when I walked up to the altar, so I'm taking it as a positive sign.
The door to her office slid open unannounced, and Alex peeked her head in. “Can I come in?” “Of course you can!” Miriam leapt up, hurried around the desk and embraced her daughter with a rare fervor. Her mind raced through the checklist: warm skin, heart beating, chest rising and falling. But for a time, none of those things had been true. “I can’th breaf.” “Sorry.”
He gathered Alex’s body into his arms as he stood. Her limbs flopped uselessly against him; it wasn’t the first dead body he’d carried, but it was hers, and he was ruined.Once, it was Alex who held Caleb's body in his arms, after the diati left his body.
Alex, memory is the most important gift we have as sapient beings. It makes us who we are and gives shape to our souls.This is the kind of sentence that stays with me long after I read it. What happens to these memories when we die? This is something to ponder...