Class with the Countess: How to Live with Elegance and Flair

by Countess Luann De Lesseps

Provides advice on etiquette and modern social graces, covering the art of being oneself in any situation, ways to make other people comfortable, and the art of seduction.

Genres: Nonfiction

272 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Annie White · Rating 2 out of 5]

Delightfully delusional

[MaryEllen · Rating 1 out of 5]

After paging through this book and watching several episodes of Real Housewives, it is painfully apparent that not only is this woman count-less, she's also class-less. This book should be shelved under satire.

[Christopher · Rating 1 out of 5]

It's in my bathroom. Best place for it

[Whitney · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am so disappointed. I was hoping to figure out the classy way to get yourself out of police handcuffs and to threaten a law enforcement officer’s life with finesse, but all I got was non-practical advice on how to address a Barron.

All jokes aside, this book is terrible. Luann gives advice that is painfully obvious (for example, did you know standing with good posture makes you look better and more confident?!) and given what has gone on in her personal life afterwards, pointless (she proudly talks about how she changed her womanizing husband, but shortly after this book was published, they divorced after he cheated on her).

Luann presents herself exactly as she does in the early seasons of The Real Housewives of New York (aka, as a pretensions know it all) so it’s a fun laugh of you know who she is.

If you want actual advice on how to life with elegance, it’s a hard pass. She advocates that it is sometimes fine to eat with your elbows in the table. I didn’t marry a count, but even I know that is an absolute no-no and anyone saying it’s fine is a charlatan in my book.

[rm · Rating 1 out of 5]

i cant believe i ate the whole thing

[christina · Rating 1 out of 5]

THIS WAS HORRID. I took it out from the library to read while i got my nails done. I actually decided it was so bad i put it away and tried to converse with my nail girl who speaks NO english. She's distasteful, patronizing and everything in between. I knew it wasn't going to be good- but didn't know how bad it was going to be.

[Maggie]

This book was hilarious, crazy, and just silly. Aggressively heteronormative of course and with many ridiculous suggestions like hiring help for a stress free dinner party. However I will note that the first chapter contained the basics of cognitive behavioral therapy, so not a complete loss!!
I will not be rating this as I read it for shits and giggles.

[Ben Cela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chic c'est la vie, c'est bonne, c'est bonne!

[Kharah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I blitzed through this book because I skipped/skimmed all the irrelevant parts, and there were a lot of them. There are some nuggets that could be gleaned, but there's so much name dropping, stories about how glamorous the author is, adverts for that Housewives show, odes to her husband and so on that it's not worth it. And when she got to the seduction and how-to-get-and-keep-a-man part, my inner feminist had a conniption fit. (Apparently a strange man randomly grabbing your ass in public is a sophisticated compliment). Very 1950s, very Stepford. Seriously, there are other and better books on how to be gracious and classy.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This version of class and etiquette is tied together nicely with anecdotal commentary that illustrate either what the Countess learned in the way of class from her life experiences or by her upbringing. This is the type of book you can just skim through or jump ahead to the chapter(s) if you're looking for something specific. The no-nonsense approach (no haughtiness whatsoever) makes it easy to read.

[Tina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm a huge fan of the Real Housewives of New York City and couldn't wait to read one of their books...ANYONES BOOK!
Much to my dismay, this book was just a way to let everyone know where's she's been and who she knows. If you are standing upright, then you already know most of the etiquette tips she gives - her advice was almost insulting.
Majorly disappointed - and unfortunately I see her in a whole new, way more arrogant light.

[Susan Elizabeth Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've never heard of Countess LuAnn and never seen Real Housewives of New York. I just thought the title was interesting and had several flights ahead of me before the final one landed in Nashville, so a book purchase was necessary. This book was delicious! I truly enjoyed reading it. Most of the info I already knew, but it's always refreshing to hear it again.

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun. It has some gems, but it's often over the top. Did the rest of you not see the author? It's a real housewives book! You have to be in for the ride, or you're going to make yourself miserable. If you arent into that, this frankly isn't going to be your thing. Sorry. If you're willing to have a good time with it though, it's a fun quick read.

[Erin Wanek · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elegance is learned my friends.

[Blaine Wajdowicz · Rating 3 out of 5]

While there are actually helpful (albeit unreferenced) guides on practical tips like fine dining, most of this book (especially the last third) reads like a vapid recitation of 1950s advice era about being subservient to a male partner in the hopes of getting a compliment or landing a husband. I dont know how I landed my man without this sage advice...

[Carolyn Somerville · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book because a podcast I love (By the Book) read this and lived it for 2 weeks. There's nothing earth shattering in here, just her story and some advice. It was nothing offensive but also not much new.

[Edith Riegler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Absolutely terrible - but great

[Suzie · Rating 3 out of 5]

https://trashkweeen.tumblr.com/post/1...

[Anna Fishel · Rating 1 out of 5]

A spoof on life? Written as a prank? An “auto-brag-ography” with a smattering of already widely known bits of etiquette. One star feels very generous.

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

An extra star because it made me laugh so much. Only takes about an hour to flip through.

[Fallon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Narcissistic, self-absorbed and completely out of touch! To say this woman is a classist elitist snob is a grave understatement

[Annie Xie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Countess deLulu they could never make me hate you

[Elizabeth Swindell · Rating 1 out of 5]

2/10: found this to be slightly outdated and misogynistic; loved the mentions of housewives throughout

[Karlie · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I could give this a zero I would. Read this trying to kill time in a waiting room. Would have been better if I had read nothing.

[Shalyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had no idea who Countess LuAnn de Lesseps was when I first heard about this book. (I’m not a fan of reality TV.) I only read the back cover comments, which of course make the book sound fantastic. I have always loved a good etiquette book, and I guess I was kind of taken in by the whole author-is-a-countess thing. The book was okay, but I think I'm just not the book's intended market. It might be a good first-book on poise and etiquette for someone in her teens or early twenties (or for a fan of "The Real Housewives of New York City"), but I didn't learn anything new here. My initial impression was that the book was shallow, but later I thought perhaps the author was just trying to make "liv{ing} with elegance and flair" seem simple and easy. I guess I was just expecting a little more insight. Also, the writing style seemed kind of choppy -- a handful of sentences would be bunched together in a paragraph, but the continuity of thought that typically characterizes a paragraph would be missing; or two seemingly contradictory sentences would be posed back-to-back with no conjunctive language to tie the two thoughts together. Either the book was just poorly written in the first place, or it was so overly edited after it was written that necessary connections were taken out. Despite the use of a few ten-dollar words here and there, the book seems to ramble, making the author seem pleasant and perhaps well intentioned but not at all well spoken.

[Taylor Sassy Countess · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are a couple of things that de Lesseps wrote that I do not agree with. One was to give videos of the Real Housewives as gifts. I know this was just a joke by her, but I had to put that in. ;) However, others were to not take children with you to restaurants. I think that this is wrong. Children should learn how to eat out, and others should have tolerance for them. I do think that the children should behave, and that their parents should be in control! However, the only way for people to learn is by experience. Another thing that I did not agree with is “Coasters are for amateurs and the uptight.” I think that if you are at someone’s house, you should look for one, and if they do not have him or her, use a napkin. I have seen way too many water rings in my life, and find that the person not respecting another’s possessions is being rude and ungracious.

With those being said, most everything else I agree with. She did start her book with history of herself and etiquette (it drives me crazy when someone doesn’t site their source!!!) Some of it was dry, but most was actually pretty interesting and relevant to the rest of the book. I have read many etiquette books, but found this one had more than that. Tidbits on how she and her friends do things brought up things that I had no clue of before (such as the not leaving the makeup counter without samples and tipping the salesperson for them.) As such, I give this book 4.5 stars.

[Lauren Jackson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finding this book at a discount book outlet, I had never seen any of the "Real Housewives," I was only interested in its premise. The book started strong: I really appreciated the biography portion as an explanation of how she learned her skills of interpersonal interaction and some of her etiquette. It led for a grounded introduction into the content of etiquette and attitude.

The spark was there and a fire within was lit. I am now known for my enthusiasm for etiquette and my consumption of etiquette books. It was largely a great introduction that whet my appetite for more...

... for the first half of the book. As the book continued, there were less details from LuAnn's life and more rants about rude people. The style slowly changed until it was almost bitter and clearly a ghost writer. it was no longer enjoyable nor informative: the rants contained made-up rules that sound as though the writer wanted to create some new movement but could not be confirmed in other sources, and sometimes were rather rudely presented.

The book was in a readable format but was not the most conducive to looking up particular issues. While informative for the most part, the format and (lack of) style led me to donate this book and purchase a more established etiquette book for reference. However, I have to give credit where credit is due for fostering this change in me. It is worth a read, but I do not think you will keep it.

[Grace · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to say I found Ms. de Lesseps one of the classier women on the reality show, it seems that Real Housewives of NY has just reduced itself to a show of catfights and bickering, but she is the one cast member who has refrained from becoming involved in the petty bickering. True to her book, I enjoyed reading her tips, most of which were common sense, but as she states, and I've noted with the general public, is lost on many people. It was hard to read the end of the book, which dealt with the art of seduction, whether its impressing yourself upon others or "keeping a man", especially since she just divorced her husband (what happened? did her pointers not help her marriage?!) It was interesting though to read about her life from normal working-class kid to Countess!

[Julie · Rating 1 out of 5]

A waste of money. A friend of mine strongly recommended this to me and I'm really disappointed. LuAnn basically pisses away pages with her pretentious attitude and her elitest lifestyle, if you could call it that. This book doesn't teach or reflect class. It's clearly a book she pumped out to stroke her ego, which isn't at all surprising when it comes to LuAnn.

[Shannon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Giving up. I love the Countess on the show, but the book doesn't really have any discernible organization. While the stories are sweet and sometimes funny, I just can't quite take the writing. Disappointing- I was looking forward to reading this when it was announced on the show! :( Still love Countess LuAnn, though.