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I Could Live Here Forever
“Halperin’s radiant second novel walks the fine line between the longing for couplehood and the torture of codependency. . . . Let the rapturous intimacy and gut-churning ups and downs begin!” —Leigh Haber, The New York Times Book Review
By the award-winning author of Something Wild , a gripping portrait of a tumultuous, consuming relationship between a young woman and a recovering addict
When Leah Kempler meets Charlie Nelson in line at the grocery store, their attraction is immediate and intense. Charlie, with his big feelings and grand proclamations of love, captivates her completely. But there are peculiarities of his life—he’s older than her but lives with his parents; he meets up with a friend at odd hours of the night; he sleeps a lot and always seems to be coming down with something. He confesses that he’s a recovering heroin addict, but he promises Leah that he’s never going to use again.
Leah's friends and family are concerned. As she finds herself getting deeper into an isolated relationship, one of manipulation and denial, the truth about Charlie feels as blurry as their time together. Even when Charlie’s behavior becomes increasingly erratic, when he starts to make Leah feel unsafe, she can’t help but feel that what exists between them is destined. Charlie is wide open, boyish, and unbearably handsome. The bounds of Leah’s own pain—and love—are so deep that she can’t see him spiraling into self-destruction.
Hanna Halperin writes with aching vulnerability and intimacy, sharply attuned to Leah’s desire for an all-consuming, compulsive connection. I Could Live Here Forever exposes the chasm between perception and truth to tell an intoxicating story of one woman’s relationship with an addict, the accompanying swirl of compassion and codependence, and her enduring search for love and wholeness.
By the award-winning author of Something Wild , a gripping portrait of a tumultuous, consuming relationship between a young woman and a recovering addict
When Leah Kempler meets Charlie Nelson in line at the grocery store, their attraction is immediate and intense. Charlie, with his big feelings and grand proclamations of love, captivates her completely. But there are peculiarities of his life—he’s older than her but lives with his parents; he meets up with a friend at odd hours of the night; he sleeps a lot and always seems to be coming down with something. He confesses that he’s a recovering heroin addict, but he promises Leah that he’s never going to use again.
Leah's friends and family are concerned. As she finds herself getting deeper into an isolated relationship, one of manipulation and denial, the truth about Charlie feels as blurry as their time together. Even when Charlie’s behavior becomes increasingly erratic, when he starts to make Leah feel unsafe, she can’t help but feel that what exists between them is destined. Charlie is wide open, boyish, and unbearably handsome. The bounds of Leah’s own pain—and love—are so deep that she can’t see him spiraling into self-destruction.
Hanna Halperin writes with aching vulnerability and intimacy, sharply attuned to Leah’s desire for an all-consuming, compulsive connection. I Could Live Here Forever exposes the chasm between perception and truth to tell an intoxicating story of one woman’s relationship with an addict, the accompanying swirl of compassion and codependence, and her enduring search for love and wholeness.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published April 11, 2023
381 people are currently reading
41814 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,752 reviews
July 2, 2023
For fans of Colleen Hoover.
March 7, 2024
Charlie is a heroin addict. What's Leah's excuse for her shitty personality?
Leah: (oh man, I really wanna break up with Charlie.)
Charlie: "Are you breaking up with me?"
Leah: "No, I love you."
Leah: (I'm breaking up with him ASAP.)
Charlie: "Will you marry me?"
Leah: (OMG how does he not get we're breaking up???) "Yes."
Leah: *proceeds to move away and break up with him over text*
Charlie: *dies*
Leah: Oh no I loved him so much!!11!
I read this book in a hazmat suit (it was freaky fashion friday at work) and still broke out in hives from the toxicity inherent in the central relationship.
Leah: (oh man, I really wanna break up with Charlie.)
Charlie: "Are you breaking up with me?"
Leah: "No, I love you."
Leah: (I'm breaking up with him ASAP.)
Charlie: "Will you marry me?"
Leah: (OMG how does he not get we're breaking up???) "Yes."
Leah: *proceeds to move away and break up with him over text*
Charlie: *dies*
Leah: Oh no I loved him so much!!11!
I read this book in a hazmat suit (it was freaky fashion friday at work) and still broke out in hives from the toxicity inherent in the central relationship.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 29, 2023
A devastating and poignant novel about love, loss, trust and trying to find yourself.
Leah is studying for her MFA in Wisconsin, a big change from the Massachusetts home where she grew up. Leah's mother walked out on the family when Leah was still a child, and she has always felt the void in her life. In Wisconsin, Leah becomes part of a group of friends made up of her fellow writers, her cohort. At last, Leah feels like she might belong somewhere.
When Leah meets Charlie, it is almost instant love, despite some of Charlies quirks. Charlie tells her he is a recovering heroin addict but that he is not using. Leah allows herself to trust him and in meeting his family, begins to imagine having Charlie and a whole family.
Leah can not let go of Charlie, even as she dates another, more responsible man. She begins to understand that she has always kept herself shut off from others and most times pushes them away.
Leah has to make some difficult choices as she tries to navigate loving Charlie and what she imagines life might be like with him, with trying to heal herself and move forward. This is a novel that makes you take a deep breath at the end and just try to process it.
~Jennifer C.
Leah is studying for her MFA in Wisconsin, a big change from the Massachusetts home where she grew up. Leah's mother walked out on the family when Leah was still a child, and she has always felt the void in her life. In Wisconsin, Leah becomes part of a group of friends made up of her fellow writers, her cohort. At last, Leah feels like she might belong somewhere.
When Leah meets Charlie, it is almost instant love, despite some of Charlies quirks. Charlie tells her he is a recovering heroin addict but that he is not using. Leah allows herself to trust him and in meeting his family, begins to imagine having Charlie and a whole family.
Leah can not let go of Charlie, even as she dates another, more responsible man. She begins to understand that she has always kept herself shut off from others and most times pushes them away.
Leah has to make some difficult choices as she tries to navigate loving Charlie and what she imagines life might be like with him, with trying to heal herself and move forward. This is a novel that makes you take a deep breath at the end and just try to process it.
~Jennifer C.
July 29, 2023
Leah Kempler, aspiring writer and student in the MFA program at the University of Wisconsin, meets Charlie Nelson in line at the grocery store. Charlie captivates Leah completely but there are aspects of his life that puzzle her and he confesses that he’s a recovering heroin addict. Despite her feelings of unease Leah begins a relationship with Charlie.
The story is told from Leah's point of view and I grew really fond of her as a character. She realizes that her relationship with Charlie isn't healthy, especially when his behaviour becomes unpredictable, and I was actually surprised and impressed by her handling of some events . This book had a grip on me from the start and elicited many emotions from me as I read ... anger, sadness, empathy. I couldn't stop reading every time I picked it up. Although not for everyone it has my recommendation.
My thanks to Goodreads friend Kemunto whose review of this book put it on my radar. I borrowed a copy of the book from the London Public Library.
The story is told from Leah's point of view and I grew really fond of her as a character. She realizes that her relationship with Charlie isn't healthy, especially when his behaviour becomes unpredictable, and I was actually surprised and impressed by her handling of some events . This book had a grip on me from the start and elicited many emotions from me as I read ... anger, sadness, empathy. I couldn't stop reading every time I picked it up. Although not for everyone it has my recommendation.
My thanks to Goodreads friend Kemunto whose review of this book put it on my radar. I borrowed a copy of the book from the London Public Library.
May 14, 2023
I loved this author’s writing but it was so hard to continue to read about the main character enabling her addict boyfriend to continue to walk all over her. I found the subject hard to connect to, and the boyfriend character really hard to stomach. This book felt like it had no true climax or big moment which I felt like I was waiting for, but it never came. Felt as though the story was a continuation of the same thing every few chapters. I did loved the author’s writing so may try something different from her!
March 27, 2023
I am so torn not by my feelings for this book, but for how to describe them. A huge part of me loved it, and a huge part of me felt like a peeping Tom, witnessing a deeply codependent train wreck barreling toward an inevitably fiery ending. But that’s the beauty of reading such intimate stories. Perhaps we can merely observe without any need for condoning, and bask in the realness of beautifully written, complex and flawed characters that we simultaneously root for and are weary of. The more I think about it, the more I appreciate how raw and genuine this story is. We as the reader hope for our protagonist(s) to make the right choices, but that’s not always how it pans out. In fact, it’s more often not, and it’s refreshing to pause when we finish and sit with an authentic—albeit uncomfortable—representation of a messy, complicated, and heartbreakingly unhealthy relationship. Halperin gets major stars for painting Leah and Charlie in such a bright light. I was deeply invested until the last page. I was, however, hoping for more resolution but true to life, we don’t always get things wrapped up with a bow. 4.5
June 21, 2023
I Could Live Here Forever follows Leah, a grad student obtaining her MFA in Wisconsin. She wants to be an author and forms a solid bond with the 5 classmates in her writing workshop. While there, she also meets Charlie, a slightly older 31 year old who she falls for quickly.
Leah is drawn to Charlie, deeply and early on. When Charlie reveals he’s a recovering heroin addict, Leah accepts him, despite concerns from her family and friends.
As their relationship grows, Charlie’s behavior becomes more chaotic and their time together, disorganized. Charlie shows up unannounced and other times goes MIA. Leah questions Charlie and is often left with doubts. Still, Leah feels the pull that they’re meant to be together, but eventually, she can’t help but wonder, at what cost?
Even with its dark theme and heavy topic, I really enjoyed I Could Live Here Forever— Leah and Charlie’s relationship was intense and complicated, full of highs and lows. I wanted to savor the story but also couldn’t stop reading it. I found myself liking and dreading it at the same time.
Leah is drawn to Charlie, deeply and early on. When Charlie reveals he’s a recovering heroin addict, Leah accepts him, despite concerns from her family and friends.
As their relationship grows, Charlie’s behavior becomes more chaotic and their time together, disorganized. Charlie shows up unannounced and other times goes MIA. Leah questions Charlie and is often left with doubts. Still, Leah feels the pull that they’re meant to be together, but eventually, she can’t help but wonder, at what cost?
Even with its dark theme and heavy topic, I really enjoyed I Could Live Here Forever— Leah and Charlie’s relationship was intense and complicated, full of highs and lows. I wanted to savor the story but also couldn’t stop reading it. I found myself liking and dreading it at the same time.
June 17, 2023
What an intoxicating novel. I Could Live Here Forever follows Leah Kempler, a woman in her mid-twenties completing an MFA at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. There, she meets Charlie Nelson, a man with big feelings and grand proclamations of love. Leah is swept up in Charlie’s affection and soon finds herself in an all-consuming relationship with him. When Leah learns that Charlie is in recovery for a heroin addiction, she pauses, though presses on in the romance that’s become irresistible to her. As Charlie’s behavior grows more erratic and Leah’s friends and family grow increasingly concerned, her doubts increase, even as she proclaims to love him just as much as he loves her, flaws and all.
I found this book mesmerizing. Leah is a deeply flawed protagonist who relies on people’s external validation of her, though I thought Hanna Halperin did an excellent job characterizing Leah and providing context into the roots of her behavior (e.g., Leah’s complicated relationship with her mother, who abandoned Leah several years ago). Halperin’s writing felt smooth yet magnetic; I wanted to know every twist and turn that awaited Leah and Charlie’s relationship as well as Leah’s own emotional journey throughout her twenties. It was difficult to see Leah crave men’s desire for her, though Halperin crafts her character with sharp writing that renders her in a sympathetic light. Halperin really showed us the toxic forces of amatonormativity and how people can try to use romance to fill up the voids within themselves! Whew.
I also appreciated Halperin’s portrayal of Charlie. There’s still so much stigma surrounding substance use disorders, and I liked how Halperin portrayed Charlie as a three-dimensional character with some positive qualities (e.g., capacity for love and affection, artistic and a skilled singer) while also not shying away from showing the devastating effects of an opioid use disorder. Charlie definitely was emotionally manipulative and codependent a lot of the time too, and I think Halperin highlighted the cruelty of those behaviors instead of glorifying Charlie and Leah’s relationship as some nonproblematic intense love affair.
The one element of this book that I felt disappointed by was that I don’t think Leah grows very much as a character? Perhaps she does a little bit by the end of the book as evidenced by how she . However, I don’t think she developed much insight into her propensity to throw herself into romantic relationships over and over without addressing her internal issues (e.g., lack of self-love, attachment wounds from her relationship with her mother). It’s not like I necessarily needed or expected a “Leah goes to therapy and after several sessions learns to love herself slowly yet surely” or even a “Leah develops an amazing best friendship with someone where she’s able to love healthfully and fully” type of thing, though something just a little more than where we left off would have been more satisfying for me.
Overall, a strong novel that I could see many people enjoying, such as fans of realistic fiction, romance, and stories in general about complex women and relationships. Halperin’s debut novel Something Wild is on my to-read list for sure after witnessing the quality of her writing in I Could Live Here Forever!
I found this book mesmerizing. Leah is a deeply flawed protagonist who relies on people’s external validation of her, though I thought Hanna Halperin did an excellent job characterizing Leah and providing context into the roots of her behavior (e.g., Leah’s complicated relationship with her mother, who abandoned Leah several years ago). Halperin’s writing felt smooth yet magnetic; I wanted to know every twist and turn that awaited Leah and Charlie’s relationship as well as Leah’s own emotional journey throughout her twenties. It was difficult to see Leah crave men’s desire for her, though Halperin crafts her character with sharp writing that renders her in a sympathetic light. Halperin really showed us the toxic forces of amatonormativity and how people can try to use romance to fill up the voids within themselves! Whew.
I also appreciated Halperin’s portrayal of Charlie. There’s still so much stigma surrounding substance use disorders, and I liked how Halperin portrayed Charlie as a three-dimensional character with some positive qualities (e.g., capacity for love and affection, artistic and a skilled singer) while also not shying away from showing the devastating effects of an opioid use disorder. Charlie definitely was emotionally manipulative and codependent a lot of the time too, and I think Halperin highlighted the cruelty of those behaviors instead of glorifying Charlie and Leah’s relationship as some nonproblematic intense love affair.
The one element of this book that I felt disappointed by was that I don’t think Leah grows very much as a character? Perhaps she does a little bit by the end of the book as evidenced by how she . However, I don’t think she developed much insight into her propensity to throw herself into romantic relationships over and over without addressing her internal issues (e.g., lack of self-love, attachment wounds from her relationship with her mother). It’s not like I necessarily needed or expected a “Leah goes to therapy and after several sessions learns to love herself slowly yet surely” or even a “Leah develops an amazing best friendship with someone where she’s able to love healthfully and fully” type of thing, though something just a little more than where we left off would have been more satisfying for me.
Overall, a strong novel that I could see many people enjoying, such as fans of realistic fiction, romance, and stories in general about complex women and relationships. Halperin’s debut novel Something Wild is on my to-read list for sure after witnessing the quality of her writing in I Could Live Here Forever!
July 31, 2022
Hanna Halperin is fast becoming one of my favorite authors. She SEES people so well. She understands family dynamics and how people can be cruelest to those they love. I never have to worry about her dialogue not ringing true or conversations feeling disingenuous.
No matter how much I love a book, there is always time when I want it to end. When I want to pick up the next read from my TBR pile. This is the first book I've read in a long time that I deliberately kept putting down so I wouldn't finish it so fast. Sometimes it was just to let the feelings dissipate, as a stray phrase had the tendency to punch me right in the stomach. Thankfully, Halperin gives the reader frequent paragraph and page breaks, which made me happily anxious to keep reading instead of waiting for the next logical stopping point.
I can't wait for more.
No matter how much I love a book, there is always time when I want it to end. When I want to pick up the next read from my TBR pile. This is the first book I've read in a long time that I deliberately kept putting down so I wouldn't finish it so fast. Sometimes it was just to let the feelings dissipate, as a stray phrase had the tendency to punch me right in the stomach. Thankfully, Halperin gives the reader frequent paragraph and page breaks, which made me happily anxious to keep reading instead of waiting for the next logical stopping point.
I can't wait for more.
May 20, 2023
This was a quick easy read but did not live up to the hype. The main character and her relationships are all so thinly developed that I wasn't convinced of the depth of any of them. It was a challenge to be invested in her, or her friends, or her family or her love interests when they all seemed so distant and empty. Not sure if this was intentional or not, but either way it just didn't work for me. I was supposed to believe the sexual relationship and chemistry she had with Charlie was so intense and consuming, and yet the writing never conveyed this in any way besides telling me it was so. All that said, I didn't hate it but definitely was expecting something more.
December 25, 2022
Can I give more than 5 stars?! I LOVED THIS BOOK SO MUCH!!!!!!! The characters Hanna Halperin has created are each flawed in their own way. They are co-dependent, Charlie is in love with heroin and Leah, and Leah is in love with Charlie and the need to be loved. Their flaws keep them together and break them up and then the cycle continues. One quote from a friend of Leah’s about her own relationship sums up the whole book for me “I didn’t know how to separate the feeling of love from the feeling of wanting to escape.” This book was beautiful and heartbreaking, I did not want to put it down for even the shortest of minutes. Definitely one that will stick with me for a long time and also one that I will be recommending to everyone!
May 29, 2023
This was a quietly stunning portrayal of an experience of falling into youthful infatuated love with a handsome, charismatic slightly older young man with a history of substance use disorder; of that itchiest strain of validation-craving, abandonment-anticipating dependency and its childhood roots; and also a critical developmental moment of learning to dogpaddle one’s head above the accumulated floodwaters of self-uncertainty in the interest of toeing those tenuous, gritty sandbars of early-maturity self-knowledge and acceptance. It’s also one of the better recent “MFA program novels.” Think Writers and Lovers meets …Leaving Las Vegas?
May 6, 2023
I have mixed feelings. I liked the story and wanted to find out what happened, but at the same time struggled to understand the relationship between Charlie and Leah and also didn’t particularly care for Leah as a character. Her connection to her writing group and the development of those relationships was my favorite part.
November 11, 2023
i could not live (t)here forever
May 30, 2023
2 star. I did not connect with this story in the powerful way that other readers did. I liked Hanna Halperin’s writing. I did not like Leah or feel any attachment to the rest of the characters. I believe Halperin wrote Leah in such a way as to capture how people truly are – messy, indecisive, and many times, blindly selfish. Unfortunately, for me, this story just felt like it went nowhere. While the story deals with addiction, it was not the character suffering from addiction or the way that their disease caused damage to those around them, that I felt frustrated with. It was the character of Leah that turned me off on this story more with each chapter I read. She is wishy-washy and selfish. At one point, a person she professes to feel close to, the person she says makes her feels the safest, articulates to her exactly how her behavior is selfish & shares how and why this is causing them pain. While she seems to hear & understand this, she continues in the same hurtful pattern until she ultimately manages to fracture the relationship permanently. Hard for me to decide if that, or the careless way she treated Charlie, turned me off the most. Those of us who have known and loved an addict understand that their behavior (while using) is painfully destructive. Yes, they may be self-centered, dishonest, unreliable & manipulative – those traits are byproducts of the disease. Therefore, I could read Charlie’s character with some understanding. I did not feel this way about Leah’s self-centeredness & dishonesty toward someone who was in such a damaged & vulnerable place. Or the disposable fashion in which she treated others who she claimed to care for. Instead of empathizing with her childhood or the confusion that her entanglement with someone suffering from addiction would naturally cause, I simply grew to dislike her more with each chapter. When she did make healthy decisions for herself, she did so in ways that were cowardly, that caused more harm to others than they needed to. And finally, I found the rest of the characters so thinly drawn that there was nothing to redeem the story for me.
July 20, 2023
Finished this one yesterday. I remembered the book had 'tragic ending' in the blurb but somehow I was totally unprepared for the ending. I think I'm in a reading slump but was able to get through this by reading 30 or so pages every night. The good thing about this was I really got to know these characters, it's realistic fiction and the characters were very very real to me!
The ending devastated me. I wish and wish it was a different ending, I'm in mourning right now. This is why I don't like taking my time with books, I feel like my friend has just died. Wouldn't even know how to rate this. It'd most likely be a 4 star, but the rating system fails here. I am quite sad.
The ending devastated me. I wish and wish it was a different ending, I'm in mourning right now. This is why I don't like taking my time with books, I feel like my friend has just died. Wouldn't even know how to rate this. It'd most likely be a 4 star, but the rating system fails here. I am quite sad.
June 11, 2023
Everything about this book felt one-dimensional. Writing was cringe.
June 5, 2023
I’m bawling my eyes out. I didn’t want it to end
April 13, 2023
Ooof. Ugh. Eeek. My heart. Oh my gosh, you guys. I loved this book so much. It’s heavy. It’s heartbreaking. It’s intense. It’s devastating. It’s terribly sad. The subject matter is difficult, and this book most definitely won’t be for everyone. I don’t want to say too much about the plot, but just know that it’s centered around a young woman who is madly in love with someone struggling with a heroin addiction. This book made me nervous, and I could actually feel my anxiety levels rise during certain parts of the story. My chest got tight, I was sweating, and my stomach was even churning at times. You know an author is doing something right when your body has a physical response to their words. Leah and Charlie are both deeply flawed characters, yet I cared for them truly and deeply. Their relationship is a very passionate, complicated, and even toxic one, but they feel like soulmates, and ultimately belong together. Their story is gut-wrenching. If you’ve ever had a friend, acquaintance, or loved one battle addiction, I guarantee that this book will move you, and punch you right in the gut. It will make you feel things. Hanna Halperin has a remarkable way with words, and I’ll read anything she writes from here on out. I Could Live Here Forever is available now, and it gets 5/5 stars from me. Highly recommend, but with caution.
July 10, 2023
Not sure on a rating yet, but an incredible story.
December 31, 2024
i so wish charlie and leah could’ve had a happy ending oh my god
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 4, 2024
A look into a deeply toxic relationship - it was so real and personal that I almost felt like I was spying on these two people.
I don’t really know how to describe my feeling towards this story….It was so incredibly frustrating and yet I felt sympathetic to the main character - the woman dealing with her boyfriend who is a recovering addict.
Nothing & everything happens throughout this story. It was mundane but also felt worthwhile. Each page was just a regular day in their lives; a slow overview of their year together.
Somehow this book also felt familiar and relatable, bringing forth some memories of people I’ve had in my life that were toxic. I think everyone can find a piece of themselves somewhere in this book - moments from our lives that hurt to look back on.
Strangely, I was relieved to finish this book. In a way in was exhausting because I really felt like I was inside her head and living the nightmare she was in.
Maybe for that reason alone I gave it 4 stars - because it brought out some sort of emotion from me.
This won’t be for everyone though…
I don’t really know how to describe my feeling towards this story….It was so incredibly frustrating and yet I felt sympathetic to the main character - the woman dealing with her boyfriend who is a recovering addict.
Nothing & everything happens throughout this story. It was mundane but also felt worthwhile. Each page was just a regular day in their lives; a slow overview of their year together.
Somehow this book also felt familiar and relatable, bringing forth some memories of people I’ve had in my life that were toxic. I think everyone can find a piece of themselves somewhere in this book - moments from our lives that hurt to look back on.
Strangely, I was relieved to finish this book. In a way in was exhausting because I really felt like I was inside her head and living the nightmare she was in.
Maybe for that reason alone I gave it 4 stars - because it brought out some sort of emotion from me.
This won’t be for everyone though…
June 5, 2023
Excuse me as I dry my cheeks and attempt to compose my thoughts so they can adequately articulate how profound this book was….
I Could Live Here Forever…
Well, I could have lived here forever… in the pages of this book… in the fictional world with these characters who absolutely ripped my heart out of my chest and proceeded to serve it on a bookish platter, held by the delicate hands of Hanna Halperin.
Halperin’s sophomore novel is a unicorn of a book and includes what I call the literary trifecta;
-a book about books
-intricate family dynamics
-a devastating love story
Leah Kempler is a young writer in a reputable MFA program, not only trying to navigate young womanhood and penning the next Great American Novel but also lugging around some serious family trauma on her back. The floodgates of infatuation and an all consuming love are immediately opened after a chance encounter with a devastatingly gorgeous young man named Charlie. Unbeknownst to Leah but quickly revealed, Charlie is a recovering heroin addict. As Taylor Swift once sang, “Hell was the journey, but it brought me Heaven” :’)
As a woman in recovery myself, this book left me absolutely breathless . The drug use was not obscene but the emotional turmoil that accompanies the utter insanity of addiction rang true throughout the pages. With prose as sweet as cinnamon and thick as honey, Halperin serves up heartache on a level that is entirely engrossing and completely captivating.
This book felt like salt in a wound and call me a masochist, SURE WHATEVER, but it hurt SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright folks, I’m off to go repeat the Serenity Prayer and dive into Halperin’s first novel because quite frankly… I’M OBSESSED WITH HER WRITING! KLOVEYOUBYE!
I Could Live Here Forever…
Well, I could have lived here forever… in the pages of this book… in the fictional world with these characters who absolutely ripped my heart out of my chest and proceeded to serve it on a bookish platter, held by the delicate hands of Hanna Halperin.
Halperin’s sophomore novel is a unicorn of a book and includes what I call the literary trifecta;
-a book about books
-intricate family dynamics
-a devastating love story
Leah Kempler is a young writer in a reputable MFA program, not only trying to navigate young womanhood and penning the next Great American Novel but also lugging around some serious family trauma on her back. The floodgates of infatuation and an all consuming love are immediately opened after a chance encounter with a devastatingly gorgeous young man named Charlie. Unbeknownst to Leah but quickly revealed, Charlie is a recovering heroin addict. As Taylor Swift once sang, “Hell was the journey, but it brought me Heaven” :’)
As a woman in recovery myself, this book left me absolutely breathless . The drug use was not obscene but the emotional turmoil that accompanies the utter insanity of addiction rang true throughout the pages. With prose as sweet as cinnamon and thick as honey, Halperin serves up heartache on a level that is entirely engrossing and completely captivating.
This book felt like salt in a wound and call me a masochist, SURE WHATEVER, but it hurt SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright folks, I’m off to go repeat the Serenity Prayer and dive into Halperin’s first novel because quite frankly… I’M OBSESSED WITH HER WRITING! KLOVEYOUBYE!
August 29, 2023
4.25. Wow this was a hard book to read at times. Falling in love with an addict - at times you hate them so much and then other times you still see the loving boy he can be. Always wondering if he is using? Sober? Where does he disappear to? Can you trust his promises? Oh boy this book is heavy but so good. I could feel every bit of apprehension and worry and hope over and over again. Read this in a quiet place.
November 7, 2025
“Being saved from sadness and saving someone from sadness—these weren’t just things I earned for out of the blue. It was something I’d been born into. I didn’t know how to separate the feeling of love from the feeling of wanting to escape.”
4.5 stars
I immediately added this to my TBR after hearing Sarah from Sarah's Bookshelves recommend as a comp for The Bright Years. Leah meets Charlie in a checkout line of a grocery store and is immediately smitten with him. Both characters are so very flawed that you can't help pulling for them. This book is messy and difficult to read at times. I could see the end coming, but the way the author handled it was truly beautiful and left me with an ache in my heart. As Sarah had warned, don't read the blurbs for this one. They give too much away.
“There are certain memories I’d never write down or tell anyone. I know what happens when you write things down. They changed shape. Some of the feeling goes away. Things on the page are never as rich as they are in your head, as they were in real life.”
4.5 stars
I immediately added this to my TBR after hearing Sarah from Sarah's Bookshelves recommend as a comp for The Bright Years. Leah meets Charlie in a checkout line of a grocery store and is immediately smitten with him. Both characters are so very flawed that you can't help pulling for them. This book is messy and difficult to read at times. I could see the end coming, but the way the author handled it was truly beautiful and left me with an ache in my heart. As Sarah had warned, don't read the blurbs for this one. They give too much away.
“There are certain memories I’d never write down or tell anyone. I know what happens when you write things down. They changed shape. Some of the feeling goes away. Things on the page are never as rich as they are in your head, as they were in real life.”
May 22, 2023
“I never actually knew what he was doing. I was outside his world, even though he was inside of mine. Really, he was my entire world.”
I Could Live Here Forever tells the story of Leah Kempler, a graduate student and aspiring author, and Charlie Nelson, a recovering heroin addict. It details the ups and downs of their relationship - the times that show how Leah came to love Charlie so much, as well as the bad and scary times where Charlie was lost in his battle to his addiction.
The characters are brought to life with nuance - their strengths and their faults are laid bare. I was absorbed in their relationship. The way that Leah could see Charlie's flaws - and would speak out about his actions when she felt she needed to - but she loved him anyway. They kept returning to one another - their relationship cycle came to mirror the cycle of abuse.
One thing I really enjoyed about this book was the way it taught me about the effects of opioid abuse - on the user, on the people that surround them. I didn't realize that it altered your brain chemistry - but it makes sense, in terms of why people relapse. It was interesting - and tragic - to see the effects of heroin abuse on Charlie's family, particularly his mom. For Leah, the relationship she had with Charlie served as her heroin - forever altering the course of her life, in a way that makes it uncertain how her life is going to take shape after the book ends.
This is a very "me" book; Megan Nolan and Alyssa Songsiridej both blurbed this so there was no universe in which I wouldn't read it and, probably, love it. It's not at all happy but it's honest and I loved every page.
Rating: 4.5 / 5
January 5, 2023
4.5 ⭐️
The description of the Wisconsin scenery, the rawness of the characters, I loved everything about this book. I felt like I was in the relationship with Charlie myself. When Leah loved him, I loved him. And when she hated him, I also hated him. So real, so vulnerable, so beautifully well written.
The description of the Wisconsin scenery, the rawness of the characters, I loved everything about this book. I felt like I was in the relationship with Charlie myself. When Leah loved him, I loved him. And when she hated him, I also hated him. So real, so vulnerable, so beautifully well written.
August 8, 2025
3.0 ★
Honestly, I don't remember much about this book. I didn't care for the characters. It was meh.
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Short Synopsis
A consuming and dangerous relationship between a young woman and a “recovering” addict.
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Trigger Warnings
SA, Addiction, Drug abuse, Toxic relationship, etc.
Honestly, I don't remember much about this book. I didn't care for the characters. It was meh.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Short Synopsis
A consuming and dangerous relationship between a young woman and a “recovering” addict.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Trigger Warnings
SA, Addiction, Drug abuse, Toxic relationship, etc.
May 28, 2023
I Could Live Here forever is the story of a messy, complicated, intense relationship you know probably cannot end happily but also cannot look away from. Leah is in an MFA program at UW Madison when she meets Charlie, a man with some peculiarities she soon realizes are from…something the publisher’s blurb reveals but valued uncovering for myself.
This story of co dependence was a one sit read for me. I have a lot of feelings about the feelings I had while reading it. There are so many mixed emotions to feel for Charlie. He has highly problematic behavior and also you root for him to overcome it all. I’m not a romance reader, but greatly appreciate reading about real relationships, and Leah and Charlie certainly felt real. The MFA backdrop also adding to my enjoyment of this book, and I think that will be true for any bibliophile.
This story of co dependence was a one sit read for me. I have a lot of feelings about the feelings I had while reading it. There are so many mixed emotions to feel for Charlie. He has highly problematic behavior and also you root for him to overcome it all. I’m not a romance reader, but greatly appreciate reading about real relationships, and Leah and Charlie certainly felt real. The MFA backdrop also adding to my enjoyment of this book, and I think that will be true for any bibliophile.
August 1, 2023
I am shocked at the praise this book is receiving. From the very first few pages, it’s evident that the relationship between Leah and Charlie is problematic. Charlie himself is a walking red flag and Leah just blows right past those warning signs and falls in love with him!
I get that people deserve redemption and grace…but this was next level. Praising a book that somehow makes codependency, manipulation, and drug abuse desirable is not for me. All I kept thinking about was my daughter in a situation like this and it almost made me ill.
I kept reading because people I trust have praised this book. And I could have even possibly gotten on board if Leah had had some growth, insight, or redeeming qualities herself. Instead, she (and the rest of the cast of characters) remained flat throughout with no evolution whatsoever.
This book left a bad taste in my mouth. Like, really bad.
I get that people deserve redemption and grace…but this was next level. Praising a book that somehow makes codependency, manipulation, and drug abuse desirable is not for me. All I kept thinking about was my daughter in a situation like this and it almost made me ill.
I kept reading because people I trust have praised this book. And I could have even possibly gotten on board if Leah had had some growth, insight, or redeeming qualities herself. Instead, she (and the rest of the cast of characters) remained flat throughout with no evolution whatsoever.
This book left a bad taste in my mouth. Like, really bad.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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