Decent Discourse: saving your country by loving your (wrong?) neighbor

by Jay Jackson

Decent Discourse offers a hopeful, helpful, and historical way to push back against the war-like language and echo chambers that dominate today’s political discourse – and not a minute too soon. Families and friendships are being torn apart. More Americans than ever feel violence is justified to advance their political goals. And the media is turbocharging this toxic, hyperpartisan culture of indecent political rhetoric.

Attorney and veteran Jay Jackson builds the case for decent discourse, showing how Americans have solved the immense challenges of our past with truth, humility, and compassion – in other words, by loving our neighbors (even when they might be wrong). Decent Discourse identifies five critical problems with the state of our political discourse today and offers solutions to each, including practical action items for each of us.

With humor and optimism, Jackson shows that decent discourse is the answer to our country’s woes and offers hope that you personally can make a difference:

One conversation at a time.

One relationship at a time.

One community at a time.

Genres: Politics

268 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 25, 2022

About the author

Jay Jackson is an attorney in Omaha, Nebraska. He’s also a husband, dad, colonel in the Air Force Reserve, and lover of politics and history.

Prior to settling down in Nebraska, Jay spent fourteen years on active duty, earning a Master of Laws in international law and deploying to the Middle East six times.

Reviews

[Luminaria · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book in a giveaway through Goodreads. I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into, as honestly there's so much biasness in discourse that it often skews these thoughts. Creates a clear "us" vs. "them" mentality, even when the author doesn't intend to.

There was definitely some of this in here. I noticed the author had a habit of often mentioning poorly one particular party and not bring up a time the other party did something similar. He also seemed to present situations skewed from his perspective and then present it as a hard fact. I don't want to list them here as that's not the main point of the book.

Despite these issues I found, I did enjoy this book. It was filled with a lot of good information on how to hold yourself in discourse, which I believe to be far more important. We all hold our own opinions, but what matters is not what we believe but how we believe. How we choose to treat someone for differing opinions, and how we can stay civil and show compassion to one another.

I do believe the author needs to take another read over his book, though. I did browse through his Twitter handle when I started reading this book months ago and saw him calling people he disagreed with "cancer." I have many thoughts on that, but I'll simply remind him with his own words:

"Second, these ad hominem attacks – name-calling in lieu of real reason and argument – display weakness and moral cowardice without benefiting any cause or changing anyone’s mind."

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great take on Decent Discourse. Highly Suggest!

[PatriotWrites · Rating 5 out of 5]

A enlightening read from USAF veteran, Jay Jackson. While this book is classified in the Political Science genre (Civics and Citizenship sub-genre), the fruits of Jackson’s writing are arguably a self-help book for the United States.

If you are looking for validation of your political beliefs (regardless of which side you fall upon), you likely won’t find it here. Instead Jackson explores how American’s have become so caught up in being right, that we are collectively compromising our effectiveness and how to move forward.

Jackson offers the perfect balance in presenting the concept of decent discourse with an unexpected dose of wit dotted throughout the book. His ability to interject humor with a dash of sarcasm elevates already high-quality content.

You may or may not agree with everything Jackson presents in "Decent Discourse", but it remains a thought-provoking, humorous and sensible read. Ironically, that validates a key concept that appreciating and growing doesn’t have to be synonymous with reinforcing our beliefs.

[Lanae · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of going to a reading by the author, who also answered audience questions. Jay Jackson does a great job of explaining what the problem is, how we got here, but also practical applications about how to engage in civil discourse with those in our lives. It's written in such a way that's easy to follow, providing several anecdotes, historical examples, and relevant quotes.

I ended up buying the book for several of my friends and encouraged several more to read it!

[Jacqueline Neuman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book to anyone feeling frustrated by the polarization of our society. The author does a great job breaking down how to get from where we are now to where we need to be as Americans. His writing style is very readable and relatable. He breaks down very difficult issues and deals with them through lessons in history that make them seem less insurmountable. I bought this book on Kindle and since I read it, I have ordered four print copies to give to family and friends. I disagree with some of the reviews that Mr. Jackson is biased towards either party or political position. The very purpose of the book is that he is advocating that we learn to listen and try to understand each other where we differ. I really like that he acknowledges that it isn't easy but it is possible when we are curious enough to want to understand another person's story even when we don't agree with them. I love the quotes, stories and references to other authors he uses as the foundation for his ideas. I highlighted a lot of things I want to revisit and remember. This book is well worth reading.

[Logan Jewell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is written very well for those who are looking on ways to understand how to better help the connections and communication between people and their communities in the United States. While I personally do my best to apply what Mr.Jackson talks about, I feel that unfortunately these lessons are only effective if people are willing to go outside of their comfort zones and listen to things that might not support their views. While it was written very well, the sadness I felt while reading it was very present because of the lack of effort people are putting in to love and support each other. I would recommend this to anyone looking for ways to help improve their open-mindedness and relationships with people who don’t share the same beliefs or interests as you.

[LaShanda Chamberlain · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very Timely!!

I so appreciated this book. I long for the day we can put all this discourse behind us a nation! America is so much better than this constant discourse! What Jay Jackson has accomplished with this book is a roadmap to get back common decency. I enjoyed reading this book & I highly recommend it!!

[Anna Bone · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of people in this country need to read this book. The action items were a necessary touch to really encourage the reader to make a change within themselves in order to get to a more rational, sane political climate for all. An important book for citizens today.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent perspective on healthy community (leafing to healthy Country). Really like the historical perspectives during divisive times (e.g. President Lincoln and his "team of rivals")

[Ann Hunhoff · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was prepared to give this book four stars until Part 5. (I usually only give fives to books that completely blow me away, so a four is high praise from me.) I agree with the broad strokes of Parts 1-4, and I found myself being challenged to consider how I can engage in general and political conversations more meaningfully - with greater care and compassion for my counterparts and with more humility within myself.

Part 5 was where the agreement stopped for me, and it revealed to me a dissonance that, in retrospect, seemed to be present in the background of the entire book that was never fully resolved.
1) A couple sets of rhetorical questions were provided to theoretical people - gay and people of color - about engaging with people who “believe in traditional marriage” and “can’t comprehend racism” respectively. One question contains the suggestion to “empathize with their ignorance” about race (and similar ideas for the gay person). To which I say, absolutely not. !!! It is not the responsibility of a queer or black or any minority or historically oppressed person to educate people who are willingly ignorant nor to have to defend their own rights, humanity, or dignity to any other person. !!! While I don’t think the author meant anything malicious by this, I would venture to guess there is a blind spot in his privilege to suggest empathizing with ignorance is an appropriate response to actual harm, trauma, and marginalization experienced by people with inherent and unchangeable qualities like blackness or queerness.
2) An often-referenced example in this book is the January 6 insurrection as an illustration of how incredibly divided and problematically radicalized so many of us on this nation are, but the book overall fails to really address how there’s a certain amount of self-preservation (and preservation of others) that has to occur when said polarizations become unsafe and threatening the dignity or life of others. That is to reiterate - we should not have to bear the burden of patiently engaging with people who do not have regard for the humanity of the other. I think it leaves more to be desired about how and when to protect our own wellbeing and acknowledging there comes a point where it is not acceptable (and possibly unsafe) to continue to tolerate certain ideas and rhetoric.

This book was gifted by a right-leaning grandfather to his Democrat granddaughter, and I appreciate the ways it will allow us to grow in our capacity to engage on divisive topics. I found myself thinking, “gosh, I wish some of my Republican family members would read this,” but funnily enough, it was one of my Republican family members who gave it to me. I would overall recommend giving this book a chance with the aforementioned caveats.

[Jamie Bright · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed thoughts on this book. He makes some good points and tells a few good historical anecdotes, but I think he focuses too much on a few divisive issues that will turn people off from reading it. Would have been more broadly effective in addressing the huge need for civil discourse in our society without the inclusion of those pieces.

[Meredith Gardner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read about improving civility. I think Jay is off-base when it comes to microaggressions and that may be a blind spot for him, but overall I would recommend this book for its practical suggestions.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

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