Never Will I Die: The inspiring Special Forces soldier who cheated death and learned to live again

by Toby Gutteridge, Michael Calvin

There's no pain, no theatrical agony. No screaming, no shouting. The kill shot is catastrophic and conclusive. I slump silently on to my knees and topple forward, head first, into the dirt. The lads have seen enough death to assume mine is instantaneous. The lights are out. That's him gone.

Toby Gutteridge was only 24 when he was shot through the neck while operating behind enemy lines in Afghanistan. He survived despite not breathing for at least 20 minutes. Back in the UK, doctors recommended that his life support machine be switched off, but with the defiant spirit that would define his recovery, Toby pulled through.

Now quadriplegic, capable of movement only with his head, Toby has rebuilt his life. His is an extraordinary story of survival against overwhelming odds, and of the power of the human spirit to overcome extreme adversity. Brutally honest and authentic, he builds a compelling picture of the type of person produced by the Special Forces system, and tells of how one split second changed the course of his life forever.

Powerful and inspiring, Never Will I Die is a universal story of life triumphing over death.

Genres: War, Nonfiction

275 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 1, 2022

Reviews

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of the many hundreds of inspiring books I’ve read this is quite possibly the very best. I rarely pay so much attention to what I’m reading and fail to decide between tears of sadness, tears of admiration and sheer fear and horror. There is no sense of arrogance in this book nor is there any feeling of self indulgence you might find in others. I read David Goggins latest book just before this and this is much better. I’m now reading prince Harry’s just after and bless him, it doesn’t even begin to compare to this.

Ant Middletons books are good and I loved resilience by Eric Greitins as well as can’t hurt me which is definitely better than his second book. This however, is better than all of them. If you need inspiration, this book will force you to look at yourself and put things in perspective. It’ll also make you think about how much more appreciation you should have for the little things.

I’m not going to put any spoilers in this review so I’m just going to say that I reckon everyone should read this book. People with disabilities are the most discriminated against in society never mind skin colour, gender or age. Services of support are often terrible and the public’s knowledge and experience is overall very poor. If this man can overcome what he overcame then there’s no excuse for the likes of myself for not achieving anything we set our minds to. An amazing book, an incredible human being.

[Phoenix · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since this was the only English book available on the derelict and dust-laden shelf of a Sri Lankan hostel, I read it primarily out of convenience. Needless to say, it completely transcended my expectations. What I anticipated was a somewhat defensive account of one soldier’s entanglement with war, and what I received was a searingly powerful reflection on one man’s literal and figurative battles.

It was fascinating to witness the strength of the author’s determination and character in response to challenges in his childhood and military career, and I was gripped by the narratives of each disruptive stage. Most importantly, reading about Gutteridge’s paralysis and the deep traumas that came with his injuries forced me to contemplate my privileges as an able-bodied person.

While I was disappointed that the author glossed over certain aspects of his life - and couldn’t help but notice his male-centred voice - I am grateful to have come across this book. For anyone looking to be inspired by an individual’s extreme bravery in the face of adversity, ‘Never Will I Die’ is a great place to start.

[Matthew Holt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic story of a man who never gave up

[Steve G**** · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think that this is an inspirational, moving and uplifting book of two halves (or 2 lives as Toby describes it).

From a personal, professional and military perspective I appreciate the level of grit, determination and resilience it took to achieve what he did whilst in uniform (he was one of the youngest soldiers to ever pass SBS selection). That, in and of itself is admirable enough, making him a worthy and noble role model.

However, couple this with part 2, his ‘2nd chance’ and how he has dealt with so much post-injury and continues to rise and meet challenges on a daily basis is nothing short of miraculous. I’m not going to give out any spoilers but if you like reading about amazing individuals who over-come seemingly impossible odds then this is a must read.

Unlike some books I’ve read, it is not packed with ‘fridge magnet’ wisdom, meme quotes or cheesy circumspection. The author has earned the right, in a balanced, non-pious or philosophical way to impart his hard earned thoughts and insight on how he views his life, his purpose and uses them as essential tools to get through every day

A must read book. It makes you truly value the basic things. Things we all to often take for granted.

[rachel archer · Rating 5 out of 5]

fantastic read

What a guy!
Reading Toby’s story made me laugh and cry but mostly just made me have huge respect for this guy. Keep doing what you’re doing Toby you really are an inspiration

[Krzysztof · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good piece of ghost writing. In the first part (before accident), a simple, soldier-like account of the schooldays and the military carrer is neatly interwoven with some personal revelations. Then, the book is getting a coaching flair of David Goggins and becoming a bit dull. I expected some internal conflicts and grudges over the past but there is nothing of that sort. The guy was dedicated to his craft, knew what he was signing for and now tries to accept the present moment whatever it contains.

Quotes / Things to learn:
- “Sleep is refuge to normality”
- The feeling of water droplets on your face can be ecstatic experience.
- 3 core values that gave meaning to author’s life - passion, determination, respect.
- While coming out of depression there is no eureka moment, just a patient work of setting small goals and coming to terms with the moments of despair that surely will come.
- The guy started day at 4AM with 3 hours of personal care, so please stop complaining about not having enough time.
- Learning is hard when it does not relate to first-hand experience.

[Gareth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this on Audiobook. An inspirational story. I struggle to imagine how hard it must be to be in Toby's position. This book takes us through his upbringing, his journey to be a Royal Marine, life as a Tier 1 operator, his life-changing injury, the rocky road from there, how he has grown and where he is now. Toby tells his story in a very down-to-earth way. He articulates things in a way that I found I could relate to. He doesn't gloss over anything. He has been to hell and back and every day remains a challenge but he gives the reader (or listener) a great insight into what makes him tick and how he keeps going. I was very inspired by this book and it also reminded me to count my blessings. Thank you for your service Toby and thank you for sharing your inspirational story.

[Theresa Ribeiro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Difficult to say I enjoyed this book as it's a difficult story to read, hearing about the severity of Toby's injuries and how dramatically life changing they have been.
Once I finished reading the entire book, that feeling of wanting to turn back time to when he was not a quadriplegic has stayed with me, I can only imagine the turmoil he went through and still goes through some days.

I struggled with some elements of the book, but those were quickly forgotten once I got to the end and the book is rounded up with words from 5 people who helped him stay alive, essentially. They capture the essence of everything Toby talks about throughout his book.

Ultimately, Toby is brave and courageous to keep going despite what happened to him, which is inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story, Toby, may we all be so brave!

[Paul Browne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly an incredible book. I can not begin to imagine the tenacity, focus and raw courage shown by Mr Gutteridge. I found that after the initial brutal opening chapter I could not put this book down. I am ex-Forces myself and have had my own problems, but they are not even in the same universe as this amazing man's. After I finished I found I was much more motivated to get on with my own life. Thank you Toby very much.

[Matt Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an absolute warrior, self disciplined & determined man Toby is. He embodies the core attributes of a Royal Marine & SBS operator. Reading his story has been difficult & as a veteran I can relate to some of the difficulties that he shares in his book. I recommend that anyone who thinks they are having a hard time read this & hopefully they’ll take some guidance from Toby’s words & use them to improve theirs or others lives.

[Rory · Rating 5 out of 5]

inspiration at its most authentic self

Wow…. I have read and experienced much about over coming adversity but… this is such a raw vulnerable and authentic depiction of a man facing his worst nightmare and somehow returning to life on life’s hard terms. Brilliant!

[Kayleigh McMillan · Rating 2 out of 5]

A mixed bag - whilst the subject matter is obviously an amazing story and the portions of the book describing his early career, catastrophic injury and initial recovery were compelling, the padding required to flesh this out to a full book was pretty dull in places.

[Tuukka · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aika tujakka setti,

[Charlotte Cake · Rating 4 out of 5]

Took this on holiday and honestly had me gripped. How horrific the situation however the bravery is inspirational

[Andrew Higgs]

Amazing, emotional and inspiring.

[Craig Davidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read and a throughly inspiring hero!

[Edd · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredibly inspiring read, and person.

[Graham Hodgson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible story of courage

[Danny Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible human!