How (Not) To Be Strong

by Alex Scott

From the football cages of East London to broadcasting to millions, the engine powering Alex Scott's remarkable journey has always been her resilience. But thanks to a 'push-through mentality' the world has only ever seen the 'strong' side of Alex Scott. Now Alex is ready to lower the shield. In How (Not) to Be Strong, Alex shares the lessons that have shaped her, from finally confronting the legacy of a tumultuous childhood to the tarnished truth behind the gleaming football trophies. With raw honesty, Alex shows how she's tackled life's challenges and that sometimes the strongest thing you can do is show your most vulnerable side to the world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Autobiography, Football, Biography, Sports, Memoir, Audiobook

320 pages, Paperback

Published September 29, 2022

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Jessica Kennedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really believe that all a good autobiography needs is a genuine willingness to be vulnerable and open with the reader. It doesn't need to be salacious or dramatic. It doesn't need to be written in poetic prose. A true sense of who the person is comes from their willingness to share their story, the parts of their life that shaped them – not just a series of bullet point headline moments.

In this, you gain a real understanding of Alex. It's not dressed up or overly descriptive. It just feels honest and raw. It's hard not to have a huge amount of respect for her in what she's achieved, what she's overcome and what she's willing to share.

Also, she really does have some anecdotes in her locker. Girl, never go back to Russia, I beg!!!

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listening to an audiobook by the actual author can be magical sometimes. This was this occasion.

Alex Scott has a way of making you feel what she is feeling. She is the ultimate role model. This autobiography is beautifully honest, tender and written with courage. I learnt so much about her that I didn't know.

4*

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this autobiography of former football player and currently on TV personality who shares her heart felt anxiety of growing up in east London and playing football and opens up about her struggles in life

[Freya Pigott · Rating 3 out of 5]

The writing did feel like another average celeb autobiography (again with kinda cringe moments??)(also it reminded me a bit of the Lily Allen one where it could be notes from a counselling session at times). Buuuuuut she is v interesting with an amazing story. I will be watching back her Strictly performances and o.g. Lioness vlogs now that im a lesbian football hoe

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an inspiring person. The most open and honest memoir I’ve read to date.

[Michaela Schreiter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved reading about Alex's career/life! Women's soccer has seen exponential growth in recent years, and it's because of players like Alex Scott who helped us get here. Her career is so wildly impressive, and the way she opens up about her past, family and mental health was very inspiring. Highly recommend this!

[Guy Strangways · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting read into her career during football and the start of her new careers after football. Focusing on how her personal experiences in life has enabled her to build strength and resilience as an individual and as an athlete.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely wonderful book. Alex has been a favourite of mine for a long time (big fan of Arsenal), so I was excited to preorder her book! Incredibly interesting story; I enjoyed both reliving the events with her and learning new things about her.

[Amber Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

I mean, just wow. I honestly had no idea what to expect coming into this book. Obviously, I know Alex Scott from being on the BBC and I knew that she was also a former player for Arsenal and England. But reading about her story, reading about all her struggles and traumas, she’s gone through so much and this is honestly one of the most raw and vulnerable books I’ve ever read. The way she opens up about everything and hold herself accountable is honestly incredible. Every single chapter took you through a different aspect of her life and I was just blown away and completely hurt for her but also so proud that she’s survived it all and of the life that she’s made for herself. The letter to her mum absolutely broke me. I honestly didn’t expect to cry as much as I did while reading this book. Sidenote had literally no idea that her and Kelly Smith dated for EIGHT YEARS!! This was a genuine and real book and I’m wishing the best for Alex. Five stars.

[Emma Hyde-Nero · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this! ❤️ Not only shows how much women’s football has grown in the last 5 years, but also the wild ride that Alex Scott has had… incredible how much she’s achieved despite everything that’s happened. Well worth a read :)

[Alice · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I admire Alex Scott. I always enjoy her commentary on BBC and reading her book was quite eye opening. And Lord Jones will be happy to know she uses g's as well.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a decent autobiography, I'll give Alex Scott that.
Alex Scott has become a household name, but I feel very little was really known about her until the release of this book (and her appearance on The Diary of a CEO podcast with Steven Bartlett).
As far as biographies go, I enjoyed this one. It was definitely written by HER, which is refreshing. This did mean it wasn't the most wonderfully written thing I've ever read, but it did seem like one of the most raw and authentic autobiographies.
Her story is inspiring. She has been through an awful lot yet achieved even more.
The odd part here and there did make me emotional, I must admit.
I enjoyed reading it as a football fan, but I dont think you necessarily have to follow the sport to enjoy this book, as a lot of it is about her upbringing, relationships and mental health.
All in all, a decent read.

[lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

went into this not really knowing much about alex as a person rather than a player but this was a very very emotional and beautiful insight into her life and she is an amazing person!!!!

[Lia · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who doesn't follow any sport and so had no idea who Alex Scott was before listening to this - this was a great autobiography, and read by Alex in the audiobook format.

It's a pretty straightforward autobiography, detailing her time playing for Arsenal in the women's team and how she transitioned into TV as a way to get more eyes and ears on women's football, while also doing activism and helping kids get more into the sport too. There are some low and emotional parts, when she touches on her family and close relationships, as well as her own struggles with mental health and drinking. 

All of this combines into something inspiring, for women, people of colour  and for those who maybe struggle with where they come from and the stigma around that.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had honestly never heard of Alex Scott before I saw her at the Jonathan Ross taping last year. She seemed lovely and I wanted to read her story. I’m so glad I did. Alex has been through so much throughout her life and I commend the vulnerability she has shown in this memoir. It was really interesting to learn more about women’s football in the UK and I loved reading about Strictly as well! The timeline was a bit all over the place, so slightly confusing at times for me, but overall this is a solid 4 stars.

[Beachcomber · Rating 3 out of 5]

Biographies often tread a fine line - there’s already a sort of hubris in writing one, so how to not push it too far and sound too egotistical? You open up. Show your weaknesses and faults. And to give Alex her due, she really does do that pretty well. I’d give this a 3.5*, overall. The later chapters on guilt and softness hit home for me - but the letter to her Mum was difficult reading for some reason. It felt perhaps too intimate, and something better shared privately. I can only assume her Mum gave permission to include it, as it’s clear Alex loves her dearly.

[Lynn Butterfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
This was a fantastic autobiography. Raw, real, honest and inspiring. Alex Scott takes you through her journey from playing football in a cage with her brothers at the park, to having hundreds of caps for England, to being a much loved pundit. This autobiography offers tales of life, love and mistakes too. I have rarely been so moved by an autobiography. As a lover of football and a huge advocate for women’s football and women in sport in general, this felt incredibly empowering. Can’t wait to see the future projects Alex is a part of.

[Amy Hodgkiss-White · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've always had a soft spot for Alex Scott from her Arsenal and England footballing days. She always showed great leadership qualities and has gone on to show how much you can achieve by working hard for what you want and believe in. This is a wonderful read to learn so much more behind the Arsenal beauty, how much hardship and difficulty she faced growing up, and how she continues to face horrible online trolls. Highly recommend if you like Alex Scott.

[Phil Hodgkiss · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a brilliant read from page one to the very end. It must be consuming as I read it in under two days. I have no interest in football whatsoever but reading Alex Scott's life In the game has changed my mind. The ups and downs are all there to read. She started her life in the back streets of the East End of London and fought hard to get where she is now. I urge you all to read this book, it is well worth it.

[Sabrina Moutarde · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alex, you got me. You got me good. Tears and all. This book made me feel and stirred emotions in me.

I wanted to read an own voices book, and I knew very little about you before diving in. Now I do.

I admire you. I admire your courage, sincerity, and determination. Thank you for being so vulnerable. Your love letter to your mum is one of the most beautiful letters I've ever read.

People. Read this book. It's pretty powerful stuff.

[Demi Cramb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't know much about Alex Scott but decided to listen to this audiobook as part of my Spotify minutes and I am so glad I did.

Alex was very vulnerable in this and at times you could hear her well up with tears which added to the emotions of the book. Her relationship with her father was traumatic enough but to go through other events made me really feel for her. However, through it all Alex has pushed through and achieved so much for herself.

I hate to say I enjoyed getting insight into how unequal womens football is and how it has come a long way since Alex first started out.

The story that stuck with me was the Russian taxi ride, my stomach dropped the whole time I listened. The chapter that stuck with me was the one she dedicated to her mum which actually made shed a few tears and autobiographies don't tend to make me do that.

If you are a fan of 'I'm Glad My Mom Died' I think you'll enjoy this.

[Joy Corkery · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s really hard to rate an autobiography. I guess I do so by deciding how the book makes me feel about the person. I saw Alex Scott on The Graham Norton show and she gave me good vibes. Her book just reinforced this. It’s amazing what this woman has done for women’s football. I found her to be inspiring and a great role model. The book also provided a good insight into how hard women had/have to fight to have their sport taken seriously.

[jordan-lou (lorelai’s version)]

getting such an intimate insight into alex’s life has unlocked a whole new level of admiration and respect that transcends what i already felt for her. in spite of it all, alex continues to break down barriers and paved the way for women - especially women of colour - in sport, both on and off the field. and she did it all while facing some of the most painful traumas imaginable.

ps: god is a woman and her name is alex scott.

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great insight into a former footballer that I admire who’s gone on to be a great advocate for women in sport and is a trailblazer in terms of women being a part of football punditry. Every time I think about how far women’s football has come it makes me so happy, and seeing how hard Alex had to work in her own life to make her dreams come true is really inspirational 🤗

[Miranda Oliver · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well this is one of the best Autobiography's I have ever read! Alex Scott you are my Hero! Alex talks very deeply and profoundly of her life, where she has struggled emotionally and mentally. But through sheer determination , and loads of courage she has fought her demons to get where she is now, and is a great role model for us all!

[Sophie Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

The way that this was written meant that I enjoyed all of it. I think with Alex being someone that I have loved before this made it an even better read. I would recommend to anyone wanting to read an autobiography.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5
Touching, emotional and stories to learn from. Alex succeeded in writing an honest and raw biography. Her life story is moving, and sharing all the stories (the good and the bad ones) made her even more impressive as a person offside the pitch. A true inspiration.

[Henry Stacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant read, very interesting life story and talks about many different things from football to abuse to imposter syndrome. This book had it all and was a very honest, vulnerable yet powerful message

[Lewis Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

shes won more than Tottenham innit. plus a stunning and real memoir that you don't get from footballers too often. then again, it is alex scott

[Caitlin Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very brave, honest biography.
Such a raw timeline of events with a take on women’s football that many may not have previously known 👏🏼