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My Dark Library #2
#thighgap
Don’t read with the lights on…this is My Dark Library.
A collection of novellas curated by Sadie “Mother Horror” Hartmann to represent her favorite themes, tropes, and subgenres in horror fiction today.
BOOK TWO: #thighgap by Chandler Morrison –
Los Angeles fashion model Helen Troy wasn’t always skinny. Drastic weight loss has given her everything–money, confidence, attention, respect. Being thin has legitimized her, and starvation has become an addiction.
Following an encounter with a seemingly “perfect” rival model who destabilizes Helen’s shaky self-confidence and shatters her fragile illusion of control, she’s sent into a tragic tailspin that will take her to the lowest depths of hell. Nightmarish versions of herself begin materializing in mirrors, and her tried-and-true coping mechanisms stop working. Reality comes apart at the seams as Helen’s disease manifests in increasingly self-destructive fashions, forcing her to ask herself…
What does perfection look like, and how much would you sacrifice to obtain it?
A collection of novellas curated by Sadie “Mother Horror” Hartmann to represent her favorite themes, tropes, and subgenres in horror fiction today.
BOOK TWO: #thighgap by Chandler Morrison –
Los Angeles fashion model Helen Troy wasn’t always skinny. Drastic weight loss has given her everything–money, confidence, attention, respect. Being thin has legitimized her, and starvation has become an addiction.
Following an encounter with a seemingly “perfect” rival model who destabilizes Helen’s shaky self-confidence and shatters her fragile illusion of control, she’s sent into a tragic tailspin that will take her to the lowest depths of hell. Nightmarish versions of herself begin materializing in mirrors, and her tried-and-true coping mechanisms stop working. Reality comes apart at the seams as Helen’s disease manifests in increasingly self-destructive fashions, forcing her to ask herself…
What does perfection look like, and how much would you sacrifice to obtain it?
119 pages, Paperback
First published August 30, 2022
About the author
Chandler Morrison
19 books906 followersLittle is known about Chandler’s origins. He has claimed, on separate occasions, to be both from Helltown, California, and Cleveland, Ohio. To date, it is still unclear from which locale he actually hails. He currently resides in Los Angeles, but sightings of him are rare.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 413 reviews
April 18, 2023
⛧⛧⛧⛧
"𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙, 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙖 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚." ~ 𝙀𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝘿𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙤𝙣.
I'm sitting on the balcony. It's an early Saturday morning, and it feels like the rest of the world is still asleep, although the sun is already up in the sky. I'll be honest with you, I'm more of a rainy day kind of person. The balcony bathes in the sunlight, and i close my eyes. The darkness I desire is nowhere to be found, so I go inside the house to search for it. At first, it refuses to manifest itself, but then, for a brief moment, I see it, a glimpse of darkness coming from a book shelf. How did i miss this? It has been there all along, a portal to the darkness i desire. I pick it up, and it devours me.
#𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐠𝐚𝐩
This book swallowed me whole. Reading it felt like a suffocation of the senses, or was it a senseless suffocation? Probably both.
Chandler Morrison's enchanting writing provides a deep, raw look into the dark terrors that roil in the benighted depths of the mind of one who deals with eating disorders and body dysmorphia.
Allow me to introduce you to Helen Troy. She is the architect of her own catastrophe. She is also a beautiful LA-based fashion model. Helen's inner dialogue is a raw portrait of a haunted mind. In her pursuit of what she considers to be perfection, Helen becomes obsessed with her weight and society's validation. Haunted by the demons of her mind, she starves herself. This is not just a starvation of the body but also of the soul.
Some aspects of #𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐠𝐚𝐩 reflect us as a society: Is it the envelope that we choose to judge others by? Do we need others' approval to be able to feel whole? To what length will we go to be accepted by others' standards? And why?
Over the years, I have reached the conclusion that freedom lies in going beyond all identification.
I would suggest threading very carefully through the thorny bushes of this powerful book. It is a cold, dark neighborhood you are about to step into, so choose a warm outfit, and don't bother with couture.
"𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙, 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙖 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚." ~ 𝙀𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝘿𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙤𝙣.
I'm sitting on the balcony. It's an early Saturday morning, and it feels like the rest of the world is still asleep, although the sun is already up in the sky. I'll be honest with you, I'm more of a rainy day kind of person. The balcony bathes in the sunlight, and i close my eyes. The darkness I desire is nowhere to be found, so I go inside the house to search for it. At first, it refuses to manifest itself, but then, for a brief moment, I see it, a glimpse of darkness coming from a book shelf. How did i miss this? It has been there all along, a portal to the darkness i desire. I pick it up, and it devours me.
#𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐠𝐚𝐩
This book swallowed me whole. Reading it felt like a suffocation of the senses, or was it a senseless suffocation? Probably both.
Chandler Morrison's enchanting writing provides a deep, raw look into the dark terrors that roil in the benighted depths of the mind of one who deals with eating disorders and body dysmorphia.
Allow me to introduce you to Helen Troy. She is the architect of her own catastrophe. She is also a beautiful LA-based fashion model. Helen's inner dialogue is a raw portrait of a haunted mind. In her pursuit of what she considers to be perfection, Helen becomes obsessed with her weight and society's validation. Haunted by the demons of her mind, she starves herself. This is not just a starvation of the body but also of the soul.
Some aspects of #𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐠𝐚𝐩 reflect us as a society: Is it the envelope that we choose to judge others by? Do we need others' approval to be able to feel whole? To what length will we go to be accepted by others' standards? And why?
Over the years, I have reached the conclusion that freedom lies in going beyond all identification.
I would suggest threading very carefully through the thorny bushes of this powerful book. It is a cold, dark neighborhood you are about to step into, so choose a warm outfit, and don't bother with couture.
June 1, 2022
Available now from My Dark Library in partnership with Cemetery Gates Media
https://cemeterygatesmedia.com/2022/0...
Also on Kindle Unlimited
A snippet from my foreword:
"#thighgap gave me so much to think about. So much to process as I went on this dark journey with the protagonist, Helen Troy. Through her experiences, readers see Helen the way she sees herself. We see the way she sees others. The way she is treated by strangers, her peers, her co-workers, her therapist, her love interests, friends, and ultimately the weight of everyone’s perceptions and expectations.
It’s absolutely staggering and an extremely important point of view. I commend Chandler for his bravery and the intuition that was necessary, to tell the truth of this story. I hope it has the same effect on all of you as it had on me."
https://cemeterygatesmedia.com/2022/0...
Also on Kindle Unlimited
A snippet from my foreword:
"#thighgap gave me so much to think about. So much to process as I went on this dark journey with the protagonist, Helen Troy. Through her experiences, readers see Helen the way she sees herself. We see the way she sees others. The way she is treated by strangers, her peers, her co-workers, her therapist, her love interests, friends, and ultimately the weight of everyone’s perceptions and expectations.
It’s absolutely staggering and an extremely important point of view. I commend Chandler for his bravery and the intuition that was necessary, to tell the truth of this story. I hope it has the same effect on all of you as it had on me."
September 6, 2022
Helen Troy is a superthin model. Beauty and being that skinny means everything to her. She's fighting her alter ego, the fat slug she thought to have conquered. Her life is superficial and vain. Will she find a way out of her self destructive habit full of cocaine, vomiting, casual sex and playing the glamorous girl? Well, don't know if this is horror (in a certain way, yes) but it definitely is a blunt look backstage the world of supermodels and their circles. Do you like the main character? No, but you'll definitely want to find out how the story ends. Well written in a merciless prose. Hard stuff as the author describes Helen's narcissistic world in a very convincing way. Not for the faint hearted. Really recommended.
July 23, 2023
In some way, it is inherent to horror to be extreme. Take for example any situation or state, even something positive like happiness or a relationship, and drive it to the extreme, make too much of it, make it excessive and cross a certain limit, and it will, in my opinion, end up being horror. The bigger the contrast between the starting point and the end, the more interesting to me.
But take a thing which isn’t associated with positivity at all, like an eating disorder, a situation strongly related to the feelings of wanting to disappear or losing control of one’s life, manifesting itself in an excessive control over the body, a nightmare situation for some, and drive that further and you have hell. #thighgap is hellish in that sense.
I want to be nothing but bone. I want to disappear.
The life of former aspiring filmmaker Louanne, now skinny model Helene Troy in LA is, of course, a very dark and sharpened version of where an eating disorder can lead if left to blossom in an environment which endorses and encourages it - biting critique of that very environment that is LA of course included.
The extremeness which marks the plot in #thighgap doesn’t spare its characters: there’s really not one remotely likable character in this book, except maybe the uber driver. From her extremely superficial crush, to the film director she casually hooks up with, to her therapist - every single male character actively contributes to Helen sinking deeper and deeper into the fangs of anorexia. Helen herself acts out of a need for a sense of superiority, even though we’re shown where that comes from, our compassion for her is limited.
But anyway, this was great, I can't remember the last time I finished a book in one day and even wrote its review within the same day. Looking at the author’s page I see influences like Brett Easton Ellis or Chuck Palahniuk and I definitely see that.
Favorite quote – “I can’t tell if he’s hitting on me, or if he’s just gay.” – lol, so Berlin!
But take a thing which isn’t associated with positivity at all, like an eating disorder, a situation strongly related to the feelings of wanting to disappear or losing control of one’s life, manifesting itself in an excessive control over the body, a nightmare situation for some, and drive that further and you have hell. #thighgap is hellish in that sense.
I want to be nothing but bone. I want to disappear.
The life of former aspiring filmmaker Louanne, now skinny model Helene Troy in LA is, of course, a very dark and sharpened version of where an eating disorder can lead if left to blossom in an environment which endorses and encourages it - biting critique of that very environment that is LA of course included.
The extremeness which marks the plot in #thighgap doesn’t spare its characters: there’s really not one remotely likable character in this book, except maybe the uber driver. From her extremely superficial crush, to the film director she casually hooks up with, to her therapist - every single male character actively contributes to Helen sinking deeper and deeper into the fangs of anorexia. Helen herself acts out of a need for a sense of superiority, even though we’re shown where that comes from, our compassion for her is limited.
But anyway, this was great, I can't remember the last time I finished a book in one day and even wrote its review within the same day. Looking at the author’s page I see influences like Brett Easton Ellis or Chuck Palahniuk and I definitely see that.
Favorite quote – “I can’t tell if he’s hitting on me, or if he’s just gay.” – lol, so Berlin!
April 21, 2025
“Don’t go so deep you can’t make it back to the surface.”
“I can’t even see the surface.”
Raw, haunting, and brutal. Morrison's writing is razor sharp, so this lil shortie hits. Some people will read this and think it’s just an entertaining wild ride with a splatterpunk writer, while others will relate to it on every level. For some, it will feel like you were seen and translated to paper. And not just for the words written, but also for what exists behind the words.
“This is a dream,” I say distantly. “I’m imagining this. You aren’t real.”
“I can’t even see the surface.”
Raw, haunting, and brutal. Morrison's writing is razor sharp, so this lil shortie hits. Some people will read this and think it’s just an entertaining wild ride with a splatterpunk writer, while others will relate to it on every level. For some, it will feel like you were seen and translated to paper. And not just for the words written, but also for what exists behind the words.
“This is a dream,” I say distantly. “I’m imagining this. You aren’t real.”
August 22, 2024
I generally enjoyed the story but it really fell apart at the end for me. From things that were too out of left field for my suspension of disbelief to feeling that the author had too many ideas for where to go with the story but failed to commit to any particular one I finished the book with an impression that it was rushed.
(Possible mild spoiler in the following paragraph) I liked that every "professional" Helen encounters lacks any and all professionalism, did a great job of showing how people being in these kinds of positions have an immense power over someone's outcome and that not everyone with the proper title deserves to be there or really has their "client's" best interests at heart.
(Possible mild spoiler in the following paragraph) I liked that every "professional" Helen encounters lacks any and all professionalism, did a great job of showing how people being in these kinds of positions have an immense power over someone's outcome and that not everyone with the proper title deserves to be there or really has their "client's" best interests at heart.
April 18, 2025
the only reason i didn't burst into tears after finishing that last chapter was because i read it in a public place ✋🏼😭
this horror novella felt like the perfect depiction of eating disorders and the prison your brain feels like when you have body dysmorphia (i haven't gone through the first one but i know what the second one feels like). very uncomfortable, quite triggering, and pretty gross (the way you expect body horror to be). still, if you can handle all of that, i recommend it!! it was really good and made me very sad 😔
this horror novella felt like the perfect depiction of eating disorders and the prison your brain feels like when you have body dysmorphia (i haven't gone through the first one but i know what the second one feels like). very uncomfortable, quite triggering, and pretty gross (the way you expect body horror to be). still, if you can handle all of that, i recommend it!! it was really good and made me very sad 😔
January 16, 2023
Helen Troy is a model. In her mind's eye, being as thin as possible is the highest attainable goal. Being the thinnest of all the girls is equated with the highest beauty. Helen just doesn't know where to draw the line. Not literally. Our girl is an expert when it comes to drugs. Dread and fear are major players in this novella. As Helen dances blindly with Corpse Girl, the word "ethereal" takes on an entirely different meaning. Something important to ask yourself: do you have the #thigh gap? Don't lose yourself in it.
August 14, 2024
The angel joins me, and together we sway in the dim light of my apartment, or on the balcony with the glowing city miles beneath us, like gods in heaven.
For that’s what we are, and what this is.
We are gods.
I am a god.
For that’s what we are, and what this is.
We are gods.
I am a god.
September 8, 2022
Chandler Morrison writing is something else. You can almost feel the darkness surrounding you while reading his books.
Anorexia and body image is a big triggers for tons of women around the world. Me included. This book was written with a master-hand, seeing inside the main character head give us the opportunity to realize how being a flawless creature doesn't always mean interior beauty too. is beauty really worth it? Where is the line? When appearance is everything, should you put your life on the line for it.
I still don't know how to feel after this book, yes it was a masterpiece, but for sure I'm going to continue thinking about it for a long time.
Anorexia and body image is a big triggers for tons of women around the world. Me included. This book was written with a master-hand, seeing inside the main character head give us the opportunity to realize how being a flawless creature doesn't always mean interior beauty too. is beauty really worth it? Where is the line? When appearance is everything, should you put your life on the line for it.
I still don't know how to feel after this book, yes it was a masterpiece, but for sure I'm going to continue thinking about it for a long time.
September 3, 2022
Wow! Wow! Wow! I’m completely blown away by this book. I have now read over 200 books this year and this has moved itself into my top 3. This book is about body dysmorphia and a hard reminder of the society we live in .
June 15, 2022
I finished this last night and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s a hard book for me to review. It made me sad, it made me mad, it made me cringe. This book REALLY got to me. ‘Morrison’s books always hit me hard but this one knocked me on my ass.
It’s told through the eyes of a woman named Helen Troy who is a Hollywood model. Her vision of what beauty is is extremely twisted and she develops a severe eating disorder. She takes multiple drugs to keep from feeling hungry. I kinda hated Holly but I did feel sorry for her too. Her love interest ( if I can even call him that) Jasper is a totally self absorbed douche bag. All the secondary characters were very unlikable.
So that, on the surface, is what the book is about. If you dig deeper, it’s about loneliness, consumerism and a social commentary on what our society has become. It’s not a pretty picture to say the least.
What really makes this story so special is the gorgeous writing:
“My hunger becomes a halo. It gives me wings which carry me above the mortals so dependent on their sickening sustenance. I can look down on them, a god, reproachful of the humans’ inability to control their cravings. I am a pure, perfect being. Untouched, untouchable. I exist on another plane.”
No one writes like Chandler Morrison. He’s a writer at the top of his game and I highly recommend this one.
Thank you Sadie Hartmann and Cemetery Gates Media for my review copy. Release date is 8/30/22.
It’s told through the eyes of a woman named Helen Troy who is a Hollywood model. Her vision of what beauty is is extremely twisted and she develops a severe eating disorder. She takes multiple drugs to keep from feeling hungry. I kinda hated Holly but I did feel sorry for her too. Her love interest ( if I can even call him that) Jasper is a totally self absorbed douche bag. All the secondary characters were very unlikable.
So that, on the surface, is what the book is about. If you dig deeper, it’s about loneliness, consumerism and a social commentary on what our society has become. It’s not a pretty picture to say the least.
What really makes this story so special is the gorgeous writing:
“My hunger becomes a halo. It gives me wings which carry me above the mortals so dependent on their sickening sustenance. I can look down on them, a god, reproachful of the humans’ inability to control their cravings. I am a pure, perfect being. Untouched, untouchable. I exist on another plane.”
No one writes like Chandler Morrison. He’s a writer at the top of his game and I highly recommend this one.
Thank you Sadie Hartmann and Cemetery Gates Media for my review copy. Release date is 8/30/22.
August 31, 2022
OMG. WOW.
Powerful, beautiful, haunting and heartbreaking. CM’s writing is nothing short of phenomenal and I believe this is his best work yet. Now I need to go and lie down.
Powerful, beautiful, haunting and heartbreaking. CM’s writing is nothing short of phenomenal and I believe this is his best work yet. Now I need to go and lie down.
June 16, 2022
As you can see from the title, it’s body dysmorphic content within a horror novella - consider yourself warned.
#THIGHGAP is part of the My Dark Library curated by the lovely Sadie Hartmann for Cemetery Gates. (thank you for my review copy)
Helen Troy is a model in Los Angeles, but she wasn’t always this way. She recently reinvented herself, killing her old self and now feels more alive than ever. But what you’ll read are the darkest thoughts of body dysmorphia, low self-esteem, and cruel acquaintances.
I don’t know what it is about Chandler Morrison, but I love his style. He kind of reminds me of Bret Easton Ellis, but with his own flair. His characters do the most sad and depraved things, but you always want to know what happens to them. His books are messed up, but there is no gratuity - every word is precise and has a purpose. His words are sharp, clever, and sometimes funny - a deadpan sense of humor that I enjoy. However, there is nothing funny about this particular story. Helen is not wicked or depraved. She’s not exactly likable either, but she’s all too real. Even though I am nothing like Helen, I found some of her thoughts of self-loathing relatable. Morrison has a talent for descriptive language, and although you may not enjoy (as I did) reading the descriptions, you’ll appreciate how well he draws you into the story. His character voices are loud in my head and the scenes are vivid - watch out for that.
#THIGHGAP is part of the My Dark Library curated by the lovely Sadie Hartmann for Cemetery Gates. (thank you for my review copy)
Helen Troy is a model in Los Angeles, but she wasn’t always this way. She recently reinvented herself, killing her old self and now feels more alive than ever. But what you’ll read are the darkest thoughts of body dysmorphia, low self-esteem, and cruel acquaintances.
I don’t know what it is about Chandler Morrison, but I love his style. He kind of reminds me of Bret Easton Ellis, but with his own flair. His characters do the most sad and depraved things, but you always want to know what happens to them. His books are messed up, but there is no gratuity - every word is precise and has a purpose. His words are sharp, clever, and sometimes funny - a deadpan sense of humor that I enjoy. However, there is nothing funny about this particular story. Helen is not wicked or depraved. She’s not exactly likable either, but she’s all too real. Even though I am nothing like Helen, I found some of her thoughts of self-loathing relatable. Morrison has a talent for descriptive language, and although you may not enjoy (as I did) reading the descriptions, you’ll appreciate how well he draws you into the story. His character voices are loud in my head and the scenes are vivid - watch out for that.
June 15, 2026
“If I could feel like this all the time, I wouldn’t need drugs. I wouldn’t need anything.”
4.5 ⭐️
4.5 ⭐️
July 15, 2022
You never realize how fragile you are until you're already in pieces.
Before I give my thoughts on #thighgap, I feel obligated to tell you that it's likely to be an upsetting read for a lot of readers. Not only does the book detail some gruesome side effects of severely disordered eating (our narrator Helen is very pro-ED), but it also includes a tremendous amount of body-shaming. Nearly everyone Helen meets is deemed too fat, too old, too lazy, and/or too ugly in her eyes, and her perspective on beauty and class is downright nauseating to read at times.
Helen and nearly everyone around her are horribly unlikeable, especially the men she spends the majority of her time with. While the elements of Helen's ED and the things she begins to witness are unsettling all on their own, the parts of this book that actually disturbed me the most were how disgusting some of the men were, whether it was making pedophilic comments or discouraging Helen from seeking treatment because they worried she would gain weight.
Of course, the terrible nature of these characters is a massive part of the appeal in this story: it's like a train wreck you can't quite look away from, even though every page is turning your stomach a little more sour. I had to see what would happen next, what choices Helen would make, and where we were heading with her visions — especially the corpse girl, whose descriptions were genuinely my favorite part of the entire book.
As for the downsides, the dialogue was a little off-putting for me. Helen and multiple other characters constantly pause mid-sentence, complete with ellipses, and it kept pulling me out of the moment. Things also began to feel a little bit repetitive at times, especially with the name-dropping of luxury brands — but I'm someone who's very out of touch with designers and didn't recognize half of the names mentioned, so I don't think they'll bother plenty of other readers who might be more in-tune with the world of fashion.
With these minor negatives aside, I'm still very excited to have finally experienced Chandler Morrison's writing after hearing so many of my friends rave about his work for years, and I'll be back for more, no doubt.
All quotes come from an advance copy and may not match the final release. Thank you to the publisher & Sadie Hartmann for the review copy! All thoughts are honest and my own.
✨ Content warnings for:
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June 4, 2023
Heart breaking💔
Gut wrenching 😩
Soul destroying 😱
Mind blowingly sad 😭
I can't say anything else 🤐
Gut wrenching 😩
Soul destroying 😱
Mind blowingly sad 😭
I can't say anything else 🤐
April 19, 2023
I don't remember exactly how it all started. I saw a comment about the book, intriguing references to the story and decided to read it. It’s a horror story, for the atmosphere and some elements, but which is intertwined with the always worrying phenomenon of anorexia.
Helen Troy is a successful model, a woman who has made beauty and the perfect physique a reason for living, an essential condition for being able to live happily. Her seemingly perfect life is the result of rigor and sacrifices, planned fasting and a delicate balance that will be put to the test during the story. This balance is precarious, poised between a past she's trying to escape from and a future that could be even worse. She works in an environment where image is everything, surrounded by like-minded people, evenings spent partying with friends and strangers, casual sex and drugs. Yet, she is fundamentally alone and this facilitates her downfall, her slow deterioration towards ever heavier starvation, towards what she sees as perfection.
The world in which Helen moves is made up of people who have her own adoration for thinness, yet it is an empty world, in which there are no real ties, everything is fleeting, leaving her always alone in the end and in this way facilitating the worsening of the situation. Her inner dialogues are a mirror of the change that takes place in her, page after page.
It’s impressive a scene in which she finds herself wandering the streets in a car, described in a masterly way:
There’s something like four million people in the city of Los Angeles but I never know where they are. It seems so vacant most of the time. No one is ever around when I need them. I want to believe I don’t need them, that I’m entirely self-sufficient, but there are times when the city becomes so soul-crushingly lonely that I want to scream so someone will hear me. Times like these make me yearn for the claustrophobic anxiety of the parties I never want to go to, or even for the company of the other models who’d all see me dead if they had their way. At least our goals point in the same vague direction.
So far, I hadn't read anything by Chandler Morrison, but I appreciated his style, the frank brutality of his descriptions and the anguish he manages to convey in the story.
A curiosity: most of the characters are always described wearing sunglasses as if to hide any clue about their emotions (even Helen’s therapist, during their sessions).
Helen Troy is a successful model, a woman who has made beauty and the perfect physique a reason for living, an essential condition for being able to live happily. Her seemingly perfect life is the result of rigor and sacrifices, planned fasting and a delicate balance that will be put to the test during the story. This balance is precarious, poised between a past she's trying to escape from and a future that could be even worse. She works in an environment where image is everything, surrounded by like-minded people, evenings spent partying with friends and strangers, casual sex and drugs. Yet, she is fundamentally alone and this facilitates her downfall, her slow deterioration towards ever heavier starvation, towards what she sees as perfection.
The world in which Helen moves is made up of people who have her own adoration for thinness, yet it is an empty world, in which there are no real ties, everything is fleeting, leaving her always alone in the end and in this way facilitating the worsening of the situation. Her inner dialogues are a mirror of the change that takes place in her, page after page.
It’s impressive a scene in which she finds herself wandering the streets in a car, described in a masterly way:
There’s something like four million people in the city of Los Angeles but I never know where they are. It seems so vacant most of the time. No one is ever around when I need them. I want to believe I don’t need them, that I’m entirely self-sufficient, but there are times when the city becomes so soul-crushingly lonely that I want to scream so someone will hear me. Times like these make me yearn for the claustrophobic anxiety of the parties I never want to go to, or even for the company of the other models who’d all see me dead if they had their way. At least our goals point in the same vague direction.
So far, I hadn't read anything by Chandler Morrison, but I appreciated his style, the frank brutality of his descriptions and the anguish he manages to convey in the story.
A curiosity: most of the characters are always described wearing sunglasses as if to hide any clue about their emotions (even Helen’s therapist, during their sessions).
June 2, 2022
**REVIEW**
Most of us know Chandler Morrison for DEAD INSIDE (the abortion clinic scene) or for non-sparkling vampires in UNTIL THE SUN, even Ty, the Q-Tip feeder in ALONG THE PATH OF TORMENT. But in #thighgap, we see something different, we read about the horrors of real life for so many men and women.
Helen Troy is beauty in every way (but personality). She has the perfect career, the plastic, vapid life and friends in LA, and a very healthy shopping habit (I counted 29 mentions of expensive sunglasses). But what she can’t quite find the perfect balance of is her haunted past.
Morrison delves into mental health (dealing with it and the lack of resources and urgency) and eating disorders (did you know there was an eating disorder side of Twitter? Don’t go to it, it’s toxic and probably some of the most disturbing things I have ever read.)
Other themes in the novella: societal expectations, toxic relationships/friendships, and our own internal struggle at happiness.
We also get to see some previously read characters including one of my most hated characters and one of my favorites. It wouldn’t be a Morrison story without some world weaving (and a Hawthorne Heights reference).
Favorite quote: “Her body was the knife, her age the salt.”
Available now in paperback. August 30th for ebook. If you are a Morrison fangirl like I am, you need to read this one ASAP. I will go on record saying this is his best to date. (And #4 on my Top Ten of 2022).
Most of us know Chandler Morrison for DEAD INSIDE (the abortion clinic scene) or for non-sparkling vampires in UNTIL THE SUN, even Ty, the Q-Tip feeder in ALONG THE PATH OF TORMENT. But in #thighgap, we see something different, we read about the horrors of real life for so many men and women.
Helen Troy is beauty in every way (but personality). She has the perfect career, the plastic, vapid life and friends in LA, and a very healthy shopping habit (I counted 29 mentions of expensive sunglasses). But what she can’t quite find the perfect balance of is her haunted past.
Morrison delves into mental health (dealing with it and the lack of resources and urgency) and eating disorders (did you know there was an eating disorder side of Twitter? Don’t go to it, it’s toxic and probably some of the most disturbing things I have ever read.)
Other themes in the novella: societal expectations, toxic relationships/friendships, and our own internal struggle at happiness.
We also get to see some previously read characters including one of my most hated characters and one of my favorites. It wouldn’t be a Morrison story without some world weaving (and a Hawthorne Heights reference).
Favorite quote: “Her body was the knife, her age the salt.”
Available now in paperback. August 30th for ebook. If you are a Morrison fangirl like I am, you need to read this one ASAP. I will go on record saying this is his best to date. (And #4 on my Top Ten of 2022).
November 20, 2022
A disturbing and deep look into eating disorders, self perception, and vanity. You can almost feel yourself descending into delusion with the narrator. Quite a haunting book.
January 15, 2023
It's very difficult, within the writing community, to leave an honest rate without becoming a pariah or getting a one star rate on your own books in return. Immature revenge rates, it's happened to me before, and it's like high school, but worse. Still, I don't care about any of that, speaking my own personal truth is more important.
I hated this book. I took a few days to make sure my perception wasn't warped by my own history, and I've decided that I have the right to say what I feel regardless. Body Dysmorphia and eating disorders are both very important subjects that perhaps do need to be tackled more in literature. However, it shouldn't be done like this in my opinion. The main character was vapid, a disgusting human being. Arrogant and narcissistic at best and graced with a stupid name. She had no redeeming qualities at all. Usually, I can find empathy for anyone, but not her.
What I despised the most though, was the portrayal of such a serious mental health issue done so very poorly. I'm writing as a nurse, and an ex psychiatric nurse too, one who has seen plenty of people in turmoil with both illnesses. The loss of weight does not and never will equal beautiful. I understand the character is delusional, I get that, still, it doesn't work for me. If there was an underlying message here, I missed it. Maybe I've seen too much real horror in life, who knows.
Controversy for controversies sake doesn't always work.
Of course, this is just my opinion and I always say that opinions are not facts. Horror is subjective and depends on a person's perception, experiences etc.
Other readers already have and will still see the good in this book.
On the bright side, the cover is eye catching and the other books in the Dark Library collection were brilliant. I should add too, that I did like the style of the authors writing and this read hasn't put me off buying and reading more from them in the future.
I hated this book. I took a few days to make sure my perception wasn't warped by my own history, and I've decided that I have the right to say what I feel regardless. Body Dysmorphia and eating disorders are both very important subjects that perhaps do need to be tackled more in literature. However, it shouldn't be done like this in my opinion. The main character was vapid, a disgusting human being. Arrogant and narcissistic at best and graced with a stupid name. She had no redeeming qualities at all. Usually, I can find empathy for anyone, but not her.
What I despised the most though, was the portrayal of such a serious mental health issue done so very poorly. I'm writing as a nurse, and an ex psychiatric nurse too, one who has seen plenty of people in turmoil with both illnesses. The loss of weight does not and never will equal beautiful. I understand the character is delusional, I get that, still, it doesn't work for me. If there was an underlying message here, I missed it. Maybe I've seen too much real horror in life, who knows.
Controversy for controversies sake doesn't always work.
Of course, this is just my opinion and I always say that opinions are not facts. Horror is subjective and depends on a person's perception, experiences etc.
Other readers already have and will still see the good in this book.
On the bright side, the cover is eye catching and the other books in the Dark Library collection were brilliant. I should add too, that I did like the style of the authors writing and this read hasn't put me off buying and reading more from them in the future.
October 8, 2022
Wow.
This was a really good book. An extreme psychological story regarding a woman who has body image issues, and then some.
Sad, but a worthwhile read.
This was a really good book. An extreme psychological story regarding a woman who has body image issues, and then some.
Sad, but a worthwhile read.
November 18, 2023
This was phenomenal. As someone who’s struggled with an eating disorder with fasting and extremely limited calorie deficits Chandler really nailed this. Be warned though, if you’ve struggled with EDs this will be very triggering for you. That being said, this was brilliant. Helen’s complete and total decent into her disorder is all consuming as the reader.
The ‘slug’ version of her and the corpse following her everywhere she goes. Constantly haunted by her fear of gaining weight and encouraged by her untimely demise. This was dark, melancholy, traumatizing and horrifying. On the quest for beauty and perfection, how far will you go? How much will you sacrifice?
The ‘slug’ version of her and the corpse following her everywhere she goes. Constantly haunted by her fear of gaining weight and encouraged by her untimely demise. This was dark, melancholy, traumatizing and horrifying. On the quest for beauty and perfection, how far will you go? How much will you sacrifice?
December 3, 2023
Was drawn to this by the punky front cover and then reviews where it says it dealt with issues like body dysmorphia, didn't realise it was meant to be a horror story as was more connecting with the subject matter and overall aesthetic. Surprised by how quickly I poured through it, was very engaged with the narrator who really propelled me into her neurosis, absolutely compelling and emotionally and viscerally nauseating. Honestly worth picking up and good weekend read for anyone who has ever felt fucked up about their body image.
February 7, 2026
How has a man managed to get inside the mind of an anorexic woman so well... I was concerned that this book would be "uh oh!! girl won't eat, girl is emaciated, girl is so ugly and stupid!!" but the author actually got alot of the nuances and told the story without making it feel exploitative or judgmental. The body dysmorphia and thoughts this woman had were painfully relatable, not shying away from the reality of how toxic a sick mind can be. It did feel SLIGHTLY stereotypical as the main character was a model who snorted coke, but I only really had that as an afterthought. I wouldn't class this as splatterpunk/extreme horror, but it's definitely brutal
Please don't read this if you're sensitive to fatphobia or anything to do with eating disorders
Please don't read this if you're sensitive to fatphobia or anything to do with eating disorders
October 15, 2022
I put this one on my TBR list over the summer, then totally forgot about it until I put Chandler Morrison’s “Dead Inside” on my Bookstagram Halloween Horror Countdown (you’d all better be following me there, link in bio!) and was reminded that this one was out now. I immediately ordered it, immediately opened it when I got it, then immediately devoured it.
I’m left with so many feelings…this is a book that dips into reality as easily as it does fantasy. Is it a horror novella? It is. It’s also a surrealistic drama and a biography of a young woman consumed (ha, ha) by the demons in her mind. Helen Troy believes that there is no such thing as being too rich or too thin, but the heavier person she used to be is still inside of her. That part has to die, and the weapons of choice are drug abuse and disordered eating.
This was, of course, sad - especially if you’ve dealt with or known someone with an eating disorder. This was darkly humorous in places. This was thoughtful, contemporary and a subject that needs to be in more genres, written in many different ways. I don’t think I’d change anything, so this one gets the full five and my recommendation as a different type of horror novella.
I’m left with so many feelings…this is a book that dips into reality as easily as it does fantasy. Is it a horror novella? It is. It’s also a surrealistic drama and a biography of a young woman consumed (ha, ha) by the demons in her mind. Helen Troy believes that there is no such thing as being too rich or too thin, but the heavier person she used to be is still inside of her. That part has to die, and the weapons of choice are drug abuse and disordered eating.
This was, of course, sad - especially if you’ve dealt with or known someone with an eating disorder. This was darkly humorous in places. This was thoughtful, contemporary and a subject that needs to be in more genres, written in many different ways. I don’t think I’d change anything, so this one gets the full five and my recommendation as a different type of horror novella.
December 16, 2023
4.5*
I won't be reviewing it but this is probably the best depiction of an ED I've ever read.
I won't be reviewing it but this is probably the best depiction of an ED I've ever read.
September 7, 2022
Is it weird that this book made me want to lose a ton of weight?
October 3, 2024
It's so raw, emotional and gives a really realistic insight on how an ED bends and twists one's mind, on how much it warps your view of yourself, of your surroundings... of reality and how deceiving it behaves.
June 5, 2022
#thighgap by Chandler Morrison is difficult to review. It's almost like no matter what is said or left out will both come back to haunt me. It's horrifying and bleak but also outrageous and shocking. If you've read Morrison before then you know there is nothing held back. Content Warnings palooza (you can basically pick any and every single one imaginable from the title/plot summary and it's in this story). But even in the most shocking moments and revelations from our main character, Helen, I do not think anything here is being glorified. It feels deeply personal, raw, and human. It's sick and scary. And it's sad. There are so many emotions packed into this 120 page novella. There's so much heart and pain.
And all these characters just pissed me off - they are so unhelpful (almost the opposite) of anything Helen is going through or thinking. They are all enablers. They are all vapid. And all of this just fuels Helen further and further down the drain. I hope I was not meant to like them or find any of them charming -- because I definitely did not!
There were certain scenes that unsettled me so much I had to pause reading. The things Helen thinks to herself and thinks she sees, hears, smells, etc had me uneasy a lot of the times. There are a lot of relatable emotions and fears. And Morrison just puts it all out there in a way that I feverishly turned the pages because I had to know what was real, what was happening, and if Helen was going to make it out of this journey alive or further unscathed.
I could not put this down, and it almost hurts to like this. But isn't that life? This might be my favorite story Chandler Morrison has written.
And Anna Wintour would be so proud of all the ultra high fashion and luxury brand dropping. From suits to sunglasses, I felt like I had my own tour down Rodeo Drive without the crippling debt.
And all these characters just pissed me off - they are so unhelpful (almost the opposite) of anything Helen is going through or thinking. They are all enablers. They are all vapid. And all of this just fuels Helen further and further down the drain. I hope I was not meant to like them or find any of them charming -- because I definitely did not!
There were certain scenes that unsettled me so much I had to pause reading. The things Helen thinks to herself and thinks she sees, hears, smells, etc had me uneasy a lot of the times. There are a lot of relatable emotions and fears. And Morrison just puts it all out there in a way that I feverishly turned the pages because I had to know what was real, what was happening, and if Helen was going to make it out of this journey alive or further unscathed.
I could not put this down, and it almost hurts to like this. But isn't that life? This might be my favorite story Chandler Morrison has written.
And Anna Wintour would be so proud of all the ultra high fashion and luxury brand dropping. From suits to sunglasses, I felt like I had my own tour down Rodeo Drive without the crippling debt.
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