You Are Not Broken: Stop "Should-ing" All Over Your Sex Life

by Kelly Casperson

Is your sex life amazing???

Probably not, if you’re like most women. In fact, “amazing” isn’t even close to how you’ve ever experienced sex—but it isn’t your fault. You can thank Hollywood’s portrayals and society’s silence for your crappy sex life. Rarely do we learn what truly makes sex great for women, why understanding anatomy matters, or how our pleasure is not just important but vital.

In You Are Not Broken, Dr. Kelly Casperson offers a unique perspective as a urologist, coach, and fellow woman wondering, when it comes to sex, “Is this all there is?” Dr. Kelly explores how to adjust your mindset and provides an in-depth look at what makes women physiologically unique. Better sex creates a better relationship between you and your partner. With real-life stories, ideas for journaling, and tips to get the conversation going, this book is the sex empowerment secret weapon you really need to live the life you’ve always wanted.

Genres: Nonfiction, Sexuality, Health, Self Help, Audiobook, Science, Medical

208 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 28, 2022

Reviews

[Taylor T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly excellent. I am so humbled and hopeful to see this piece of work. Dr. Casperson educated me on a entirely new level. She illuminated to me the massive gaps not only in our society, but in the medical field itself. The education even our brightest doctors are missing due to ingrained inequalities (and it’s not because those doctors don’t want to learn!). I think everyone (especially vagina owners) should read this book.

I have struggled with vulvovaginal pain since puberty and have only now, 15 years later, found the right healthcare providers to diagnose and treat my condition. I spent 15 years in complete isolation. Ashamed, miserable, and misunderstood by my own family, partners, and doctors. I’d like to think that had a book like this been available for me then, I would have felt empowered enough to stand up and advocate that my pain IS real and I deserve to live a life doesn’t hurt.

Thank you, Dr. Casperson for creating this fantastic work and sharing your knowledge with us. This is exactly what the world needs more of!

[Keely · Rating 5 out of 5]

In You Are Not Broken, urologist and women's sexual health expert Kelly Casperson delivers adult sex education in an engaging, relatable way. She highlights the biopsychosocial nature of sexuality and explores how shifts in each of those areas--physical, mental, and relational--can lead to a more satisfying sex life.

Okay, I read this book at 50, but I wish I'd had it at 20. There are so many helpful insights in You Are Not Broken that would have served me well as a younger woman. (Oh, well. Better late than never.) Casperson is a doctor-influencer-podcaster who frequently discusses menopause, which is how the social-media algorithms brought her to me. That's what she's best known for, and that's great. I've learned a ton from her about menopause (and she has a forthcoming book specifically about menopause). But her expertise in sexuality is something that younger people need to know about, too. You Are Not Broken would be a great book to put in the hands of a younger family member who's getting married or embarking on a long-term relationship. This is one I'll be giving my daughters.

[Martine Mcintyre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman should read this book!

[Norma Schneemann · Rating 5 out of 5]

✔️ educational and informative yet curiously entertaining. This thought-provoking book will have you taking notes and laughing at the same time. Kelly Casperson is brilliant, and I’m so happy she was willing to share her intelligence , insight, logic and personality with us in this book.
Can’t wait to read the Menopause Moment !
- a fellow physician and fan

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting insights, a must read for women of all ages, and men too! I appreciate Dr Kelly Casperson’s passion and determination to help women adjust their mindset.

[Victoria Andarcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! As a physician will definitely change conversations with my female patients for the better!

[Lauren Tabatabaei · Rating 4 out of 5]

My (awesome) OBGYN recommended this book to everyone (not just her patients, not just those wanting to know more about sex) literally everyone out there. It’s a fun, scientific, informational book about the female anatomy and sex from a women’s body POV.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

HIGHLY recommend!!! Every woman should read this book! As Dr Casperson states we are all supposed to be experts at sex with zero training or instruction. She wrote this book primarily for heterosexual females, however there is valuable information in this book- no matter your gender identity or sexual orientation.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for the chance to read You Are Not Broken. I’m the kind of reader who is fascinated by books about sex, in the sense that if it’s talking about our sexual health I generally pick it up, the title hooked me, but the content kept me. As a female who is almost at mid 40, many of these topics and scenarios touched on something I’ve experienced or are experiencing. A gentle reminder that things aren’t always your fault when it comes to the bedroom, and you’re not less than because things have changed. Sexual health isn’t a topic many talk about, especially publicly, we don’t sit down and speak on it like the weather, books like this, always leave me feeling like these should be normal conversations. That more often than not we have Al experiences similar. Especially as a woman. If you’re like me and you love learning and reading about sexual and mental health, do yourself a favour and grab these. While the author is knowledgeable, they leave you feeling comfortable and validated by the reasons why you might be feeling or experiencing some of these things sexually.

[Page Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and Sheldon Press!

Kelly Casperson wrote this book for women like me. Growing up in the religiously devote state of Utah the only discussion of sex or masturbation was to clarify that it was a sin and a one-way ticket to hell. There was nothing more that needed to be said. Sex was an experience that was expected to be shared between only man and woman and only after said man and woman were married.

This lack of knowledge is something I have now carried with me into my early thirties. This lack of knowledge creates self-doubt, insecurity, and embarrassment. You Are Not Broken gave me the opportunity to learn more in a few short hours than I have in my entire life combined. Kelly was able to address many topics in a thorough and honest way, I had no idea how little I really knew until this book. This would have only furthered my embarrassment; however, Kelly acknowledges those feelings and assures you that you are not alone, and those feelings are only natural and way to common.

You Are Not Broken is a book I will forever remember and appreciate.

[Michelle Charles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clarkson’s podcast is fantastic.

Her knowledge on testosterone and menopause led me to this book which includes two chapters dedicated to both.

Hollywood’s distorted portrayal of sex, the patriarchal bias, sex education as a pre-teen, fear - what does a healthy sex life look like?

“What you learn in the process of becoming the woman with the sex life you desire is the goal. This is much different than desiring the outcome. The journey is the whole point. It involves self-acceptance, optimizing your health, body confidence work, becoming more accepting of pleasure, having better communication with your partner, being in the moment and staying present when sexual.”

[Kari Potter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book packed with informative, straightforward, and honest advice about women's sexual health. The author provides clear explanations on important topics, cutting through the confusion with real, no-nonsense talk. It’s both educational and empowering, offering an open discussion on a topic no one wants to talk about! This is a book every woman needs to read.

[Amy Jo Hawkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is some seriously good sex-ed! While this book is more so geared to female body and mind, I highly recommend that all humans read to obtain a better understand what goes in to experiencing (giving and receiving) great, fulfilling and pleasurable, sex.

[Sharondblk · Rating 4 out of 5]

I might not be that target audience for this book. It's got some great advice, but to me it was a bit repetitive. That may be because TO ME, these ideas are not particularly new. I've read The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Jen Gunter and I listen to Dan Savage, so a lot of the things discussed here are not new to me. The author (who is a surgeon) has a great tone - it's light and conversational and straightforward, even as she underlines her statements with data and research. The book is sound, and I got some good ideas from it, which I'm not going to discuss here, because I've suddenly come across all shy.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Justyna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Co za książka! Taka… bezpieczna, ciepła, wspierająca. Trafiłam na nią przypadkiem, a teraz sama najchętniej poleciłabym ją każdej kobiecie!

Narracja, w której najważniejsze są potrzeby i dobrostan, a nie z góry narzucone oczekiwania czy presja. Książka ma tez elementy workbooka - zawiera sporo pytań, które można potraktować jako wstęp nad refleksjami na swoim życiem seksualnym (a właściwie - nad potrzebami, priorytetami, samopoczuciem). Można przeczytać i odłożyć - albo pracować z książką miesiącami. Niezależnie od sposobu - bardzo polecam!

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like KJ Casperson’s Instagram account, which is mostly HRT education. She gives solid practical advice and medical facts. When I found out she wrote a book, I decided it’s probably worth a read. This book is a quick read, the tone is very conversational. I’m not sure I learned anything really groundbreaking but it’s always good to get a reminder.

[Claudia Claudia Moonever · Rating 5 out of 5]

Książka niezwykle edukująca i rozwiewająca różne wątpliwości. Obala mity, dając przyzwolenie na odczuwanie przyjemność, jak chcemy i potrzebujemy. Napisana przystępnym językiem, a jednocześnie pełna wniosków z aktualnych badań. Jedna z lepszych w tym temacie :)

[Angela G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to this on audible. Book narrated by the author and it was a fabulous read. Insight and knowledge that empowers delivered with humor. I've had this body for over 5 decades and still learned more.

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vital information for humans of all ages, especially those of us who received the United State's version of sex ed. Even if you think you know everything, I bet there are tid bits that you'll take away by reading this book.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book at the recommendation of one of my colleagues to better help and talk to our patients but wow! So good. So educational. I learned things I didn’t even know and I’ve worked in women’s health for over a decade. I think every woman should read this!

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

So good. I think everyone (but especially women) should read this. For sure wanted more but sometimes it’s nice to have a quick and easy read.

[Chrissy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very well done and definitely should be more widely read by both men and women.

[Maria Anon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting book, I learned a lot, every woman should read it

[FrancesCanRead · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful and every woman should read on how to advocate for their bodies.

[Jeannie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Recommended by Dr Bower, gynaecologist intern. Lots of good info.

[Lisa M.]

A must read for all Women and any medical practitioner. Would be fantastic if this was a must read for all teens in high school, again in their 20s and 30s.

[Sherri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read for everyone! I wish I would have had this book 40 years ago & grateful to have it now providing encouragement and affirmation. Thank you, Dr. Casperson!

[Susan LoVerso · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman should read this.

[B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shit...
I wish I had known and practiced all this stuff 40 years ago.
Thank you Kelly casperson for the deep dive!

[Alli Erdahl · Rating 5 out of 5]

You will learn so much. I went to medical school and specialized in Women's health and didn't learn ANY of this.