i DETEST love triangles but with that being said, i still gobbled this up. the angst, the pining and longing in this... oh my words
savannah meets alec in vegas (from book 1) but then spends the next two years rejecting his advances because of a secret she's withholding... that she knows his half brother oliver. this book jumps between the present (with alec) and to the past (with oliver) and how her past is catching up to her present which makes it harder because she's in a fake engagement with alec.
alec was so so sweet and gentle and kind.
“You’re still hung up on her, aren’t you?” I wish I weren’t. “If she wanted anything to do with me, I’d be there in a heartbeat, but she’s made her feelings on the matter clear.” Except I catch her watching me when we’re in the same room and find her leaning into me anytime we stand close.
“How’d you know about The Rage?” Because I make it my business to know all of Savvy’s dreams.
When we were in Vegas, drunk on insta-love, we saw a ring like this in a shop window, and I told him I wanted something like that for my engagement ring. I can’t even identify all the emotions tangling in my chest right now, but there are so many I can feel them crawling up my throat and choking me. “It was supposed to be a joke. We were playing.” I shake my head. “I never meant . . .” Except I had.
“Relax. I have a good friend who owns a jewelry store on Rodeo Drive. It’s a loan. I wanted you to be able to wear a ring I knew you would’ve picked if this weren’t pretend.” My eyes fill with tears. “Alec . . .” I shake my head. “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve any of this.”
“You deserve everything.”
“Tell me this isn’t a dream.” “Does it matter?” I ask, though I know what he means. We’ve been circling each other all these months, and he’s kept his distance because that’s what I asked for, but that never made the want go away. “It does to me.”
“Because I’ve already dreamed this a million times.” He comes onto the bed, supporting his weight on his elbows and hovering over me. “But the dreams always fade in the morning. And I never want to forget this.”
but ultimately it's oliver that wins and i think i sensed it from the beginning. oliver rescues her when her brother and ex boyfriend puts her in a very difficult and dangerous position. he offers her a place to stay as she's homeless. he builds her up after her ex boyfriend has torn her down with his mean words and filled her up with insecurities.
the past:
“That’s my girl.”
“If you want something from me, Savvy . . .” He snakes his free hand under my shirt, stroking his thumb over my ribs before sneaking beneath my waistband. “You want something? Have the fucking courage to tell me.”
“What do you want? My hands?” The hand on my side shifts up and skims the underside of my breast through my bra. Once. Twice. “Maybe here? Or maybe . . .” His hand dips, and his fingertips invade beyond the waistband of my shorts. His knuckles brush the front of my panties. “What would I find if I touched you here? Would I be right?”
“Would this tell me your secrets? Would this tell me the truth? The real reason you dropped to your knees when I walked in this room? Not because you’re pissed, but because you want me inside of you however you can get me?”
When I look up from cleaning his wound, Oliver’s smiling down at me. “What?” I ask He shakes his head. “Just didn’t know you cared.”
“Because you can tell me. If there’s something you need.”
“I don’t want anyone else. All I can think about is you.”
“I can’t stop thinking about you.” Her hand squeezes mine. “You haunt my dreams. You’re the reason I wake up hard every morning and the reason I rush home every night.”
“No one’s ever looked at me the way you do,” she says breathlessly. I chuckle. “I find that hard to believe, Savvy. You’re fucking beautiful. It’s impossible to miss.”
“Someone who gobbles up every little bit of you that you give. Like it’s a gift.” She leans her head to the side, giving my mouth access to her neck. I gently suck the tender spot beneath her ear before releasing and waiting for more. “I don’t mean physically. I mean . . .” “I know what you mean. And you’re right. I can’t get enough of you. Of all of you.”
“That first morning was a fluke. I usually change at the gym, but I realized I forgot my dress clothes for my meeting with my advisor. Then you were standing in my closet in a T-shirt and a thong, and I couldn’t breathe.”
“The second morning I came home early, I didn’t even have an excuse. I felt like a fucking idiot. But there you were. In another T-shirt and another pair of panties that showed me the curve of your ass.” I grip one hip and squeeze. “All I wanted was to bend you over and sink my teeth into it. That’s the first thing I noticed about you when we met—this fine fucking ass.” I squeeze the fleshy globes and groan at the feel of her in my hands. “At first I couldn’t decide if you were trying to fuck with my head or if you were completely oblivious to what you were doing to me.”
“Every fucking day. Every morning when I’d watch you make coffee in nothing but a thin shirt and a skimpy pair of panties and every night when I’d imagine you sleeping in my bed. I’ve wanted you from the beginning, and I only slipped that once. Only let myself cross my own lines that one time.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“Because if I’m willing to fuck up my whole schedule just to get my eyes on you every morning, what will I fuck up to get a chance to do this every day?” “What if you didn’t have to fuck up anything? What if you could have me and everything you wanted?” It’s not possible, but it doesn’t matter because I’m not sure there’s anything I want more than her.
“You wreck me in the best way,” he murmurs against my lips.
“I’ll take care of you. In whatever way you need, I’ll do it. You have my word.”
“You fucking terrify me.” “Because I might be pregnant?” It’s the first time I’ve said the word since the night we had unprotected sex, and when it hits the air, I half expect him to flinch, but he doesn’t. “You terrify me because if you’re not pregnant, I’m going to have to come up with another excuse to keep you.”
“When you lose every good thing in your life, you stop wanting the good things at all. Knowing what’s coming hurts too much. You terrify me because you make me want to risk losing something good again.”
“You won’t lose me.” He wraps his big hands gently around each wrist then turns his face from side to side to press a kiss into each of my palms. “It would serve me right if I did.”
“Yes. I stole it. For you. Because I thought I loved you, and I wanted to do something good for you. Because you’re right, you know. I wanted to believe you were the hero, and you’ve been warning me all this time that you’re not. I just didn’t peg you for my villain.” Thought I loved. Thought.
Past tense. I knew this couldn’t last. I’m not the kind of guy who gets to be loved. I’m the mistake. The one they walk away from. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I rasp. It’s the only thing I can say without falling to my knees and begging for something I don’t deserve. Something that would never work.
the present:
“I’ve thought about you every day since you walked out my door. When you showed up on his doorstep, I wanted to believe whatever was happening between you two had something to do with me. Naïve of me, I realize, since you came all this way to make sure I wouldn’t be ruining it for you.”
“Tell him whatever you want, Savvy. Tell him all of it. I already got more of you than I ever deserved. I hope you have a nice life.”
“Other than try to wake up from this nightmare? I guess it won’t matter soon anyway. Once you move in with Jared, I won’t have a reason to be at the house. I’ll avoid, avoid, avoid, and let them live happily ever after.” How can the twist of a metaphorical knife in the gut hurt so fucking much? When I press my hand to my stomach, I half expect to feel the sticky heat of blood.
“Alec loves her, and if this were anyone else, I’d tell you to back off. But this isn’t just anyone. This is Savvy. You loved her on another level. There are people we love and then there are the people who are stitched into our hearts. You left half of yours behind when you left her.”
“I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
“It’s bad enough,” he continues, “that every time I close my eyes I remember how you looked, standing in his house in nothing but his shirt after a night in his bed. I’m making myself fucking crazy, and coming here is the worst kind of masochism, because I know it will make this ache in my chest so much worse.”
“But I can’t, Savvy. I fucking can’t do that. Not when . . .” Taking my hand, he skims his fingers over my palm before pressing it to his chest. “Tell me you don’t feel that. Tell me you feel nothing when we touch. Tell me it’s all gone for you. Because if you do, maybe I’ll believe that someday it will go away for me too.”
“I never stopped loving you.” “Don’t,” I rasp. “You never loved me. Don’t pull that shit now.” “You know I did. And you felt the same, or you wouldn’t have run the way you did.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t walk away. You deserve better.”
“And to think I once didn’t believe it was possible for you to be any more beautiful,” he says, his voice a low rumble. “Time has proven me wrong.”
“Fucking look at you,” he whispers. His fingers skim across my collarbone then dip down to ghost over the swell of my breast. “Tell me you missed me. Fucking lie to me if you have to. I’ve missed you. So goddamned much.”
“What I want doesn’t concern you.” “You’re wrong about that. It’s always concerned me. From the first night we met, there was nothing that concerned me more than giving you what you wanted.”
“You were the only person who ever thought better of me. The only one who believed there was any kindness in this bitter heart. And I ruined that, didn’t I? Now I’m standing here wondering if I can ever convince you to see that side of me again.” I still see it. I know who you are.
“Today was me finally getting to touch the woman who walked away from me eight years ago. Today was me crossing a line because I fucking love you.”
BEST QUOTE
“You were always perfect for me. If you gave me another chance, I would stick around for every second of it. I would let you shatter my heart if it meant one moment of feeling your love again.”
“I hate that my timing made any part of you think this was about him. I loved you long before you met my brother, and I will love you long after you marry him.” His throat bobs as he swallows. “You deserve the hero, Savvy. You always have. And for all my objections, there’s nothing that hurts more than knowing I’ve finally convinced you that hero can’t be me.”
“I’ve fucking missed you.” His breath is ragged. “I didn’t want to leave, but I didn’t think it mattered. You’d walked away, and I didn’t understand how you could possibly come back. I was afraid I didn’t deserve you. I’m still afraid.”
“Do you want me?” I ask.
“With every piece of my soul.” “Then I’m yours.” “I will do whatever necessary to prove I can be your hero.”
THE FACT THAT ALL THIS TIME THE FATHER WANTED SAVVY TO MEET OLIVER AND NOT ALEC TOO??? OH MY GOODNESS
“Your info?” He narrows his eyes. “You’re acting weird. What is it?” It shouldn’t matter. In fact, it doesn’t really matter to me, but I know it would mean so much to Oliver. My hands shake as I pull out a small slip of paper. I recognize Charles’s blocky script—even all these years later—and bite my bottom lip as I read the note. Trust my intuition. Oliver Rhett – Crossport University
“I dropped it in the bag with everything else, but this envelope is one your father gave to me.” I hold his gaze. “He told me he thought I’d be the perfect match for his son, and he wanted his son to someday have the family he deserved as a child.”
“He gave me this envelope and said he wanted me to reach out to his son in a few weeks.” Tears spill over and onto his cheeks. “Alec. He was always looking for the perfect match for Alec.” “After everything you told me, I assumed it was Alec too, but Oliver”—I wave the envelope in the air—“this was who he wanted me to contact. He wanted me to be with you because he wanted you to be happy, and some instinct of his told him that I could be your family.”
THE PROPOSAL
“Savannah, you are the love of my life.”
“Sometimes I feel like I’ve been lonely since the day my mother died, but I’ve never been lonely a single day I spent with you. I’m told I can be a little grumpy”—Rose cackles from the porch—“but that I’m better when you’re around. And I’m no hero, but I feel like one when I’m with you.”
“Which is all to say that I am better with you near me, and life is better with you in it.” I pull the ring box from my pocket and open it. “If you marry me, I’ll do everything I can to make sure your life is better with me in it too.”