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Sink: A Memoir
A wrenching and redemptive coming-of-age memoir about the difficulty of growing up in a hazardous home and the glory of finding salvation in geek culture.
Stranded within an ever-shifting family’s desperate but volatile attempts to love, saddled with a mercurial mother mired in crack addiction, and demeaned daily for his perceived weakness, Joseph Earl Thomas grew up feeling he was under constant threat. Roaches fell from the ceiling, colonizing bowls of noodles and cereal boxes. Fists and palms pounded down at school and at home, leaving welts that ached long after they disappeared. An inescapable hunger gnawed at his frequently empty stomach, and requests for food were often met with indifference if not open hostility. Deemed too unlike the other boys to ever gain the acceptance he so desperately desired, he began to escape into fantasy and virtual worlds, wells of happiness in a childhood assailed on all sides.
In a series of exacting and fierce vignettes, Thomas guides readers through the unceasing cruelty that defined his circumstances, laying bare the depths of his loneliness and illuminating the vital reprieve geek culture offered him. With remarkable tenderness and devastating clarity, he explores how lessons of toxic masculinity were drilled into his body and the way the cycle of violence permeated the very fabric of his environment. Even in the depths of isolation, there were unexpected moments of joy carved out, from summers where he was freed from the injurious structures of his surroundings to the first glimpses of kinship he caught on his journey to becoming a Pokémon master. SINK follows Thomas's coming-of-age towards an understanding of what it means to lose the desire to fit in—with his immediate peers, turbulent family, or the world—and how good it feels to build community, love, and salvation on your own terms.
Stranded within an ever-shifting family’s desperate but volatile attempts to love, saddled with a mercurial mother mired in crack addiction, and demeaned daily for his perceived weakness, Joseph Earl Thomas grew up feeling he was under constant threat. Roaches fell from the ceiling, colonizing bowls of noodles and cereal boxes. Fists and palms pounded down at school and at home, leaving welts that ached long after they disappeared. An inescapable hunger gnawed at his frequently empty stomach, and requests for food were often met with indifference if not open hostility. Deemed too unlike the other boys to ever gain the acceptance he so desperately desired, he began to escape into fantasy and virtual worlds, wells of happiness in a childhood assailed on all sides.
In a series of exacting and fierce vignettes, Thomas guides readers through the unceasing cruelty that defined his circumstances, laying bare the depths of his loneliness and illuminating the vital reprieve geek culture offered him. With remarkable tenderness and devastating clarity, he explores how lessons of toxic masculinity were drilled into his body and the way the cycle of violence permeated the very fabric of his environment. Even in the depths of isolation, there were unexpected moments of joy carved out, from summers where he was freed from the injurious structures of his surroundings to the first glimpses of kinship he caught on his journey to becoming a Pokémon master. SINK follows Thomas's coming-of-age towards an understanding of what it means to lose the desire to fit in—with his immediate peers, turbulent family, or the world—and how good it feels to build community, love, and salvation on your own terms.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published February 21, 2023
204 people are currently reading
25172 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 332 reviews
February 26, 2023
Sink by Joseph Earl Thomas is one of the deepest, moving coming of age stories I have ever read. I don't know how many times I had to stop reading, interrupt whatever my husband was doing and have to read him a portion of the book. He himself became engrossed with the story after all the parts I shared, how we laughed, how we spoke after with one another, amazed at the way in which the writer was able to portray the feeling and emotions of a young black boy who grew up in a horrible, unique, home environment that I ended up having to start at the beginning, and read it outloud for us both. What the young boy went through, what he shares in this story, puts tears in your eyes and a hole in your heart. While readers will hate to read what Joey went through, it is something we all need to read, to know.
At one part of the book, I sat, imagining Joey going to school with a visible rotted tooth, one that the children all around him make fun of, a parent who isnt around to do anything about it (because she is out doing drugs) a popop (a grandfather with a questionable familial relation to the boy you never quite work out, as the Joey, seemingly, never does either) who is only around to call him “fag” and provide the bare minimum for him, a ganny who doesnt do much more than steal (for her habit, like the mom) and get beat by popop, you cant help but have your heart rung with the empathic relationship you find yourself having the writer and Joey. The author does the best job of getting readers to see life through his eyes, as a young boy, the way in which he describes life growing up in this dire situation. Descriptions were written in ways, sentences, said in ways I have never before read with an author. A unique read that all definitely need to experience if you want to say you are a well rounded reader. This really isn't a book that should be missed on your shelf.
The emotional boy Joey was, the way in which he had to grow up, was very hard for him and this is certainly projected in the emotive descriptions of experiences and situations. It would be hard for anyone to grow up, having been born into the life he was but Joey feels things deeply, and (as I too am like this) cries when he does. Maybe it is the frustration he feels, in situations where there is no way out, no solution, nothing he can do. One thing readers can see is that Joey lacks any power in his situation. However, that is true of children, that they lack power. It is that there is no one, ever, who helps Joey. That is why I believe the boy is so distraught. Because there was never an out, never a person who cared, never something better waiting. And, Joey always knew this.
Readers know from page one on, that Joey’s life is different, hard, odd. But, his life is a sad reality for many children. The writer is showing readers the world as it is for youths who are raised by people who really don’t care right for their child (whatever the reason they are raising them) and is ignored by a society that needs to see they need, well, something, anything, if just to lend a hand with a toothbrush, lesson or much needed visit to the dentist (and much sooner than a visible rotted tooth). This is real life in all its harshest descriptions, situations, experiences. And, while it is a hard read for this (and many others) reason, it is so emotional to have to imagine a child in this situation, the way in which Joey prevails, goes on, and looks at the world, you have to love him.
Any boy, when thinking about his first sexual entanglement (when you read Joey’s thoughts on it), all he thinks about is setting up life with this young female,a home, a family. Something far away from where he is (and popop), wanting more than just sex, that is what is in Joey’s head. It is a unique look at something, as a female, I never thought to read. I had to just smile, shake my head, and be amused as such a sweet little boy such as this. But, it is Joey's world and what he has in life, that he has no relationships in which he sees this romantic love, that he so very much wants it, even at the young age of seven. And, to escape the life he is in as fast as possible any way he can.
I will tell readers, this book will change your life. It is an experience, just reading the book and one, as I said, you need to have read, at least once (I swear you’ll want to read it more, and will). Joey will never be forgotten if only because he looks at his reality in such a unique way, describes it for readers in a way they have never heard, so raw, brutal, and painful that your heart will belong to this boy, at the end. And all you're going to want to do is pick it up again, as Joey is a hard boy to get out of your head. You lose that to him along with your heart.
In closing, I would love to thank the author and Goodreads for winning this book in a Giveaway, as I fear I wouldn't have picked it up on my own. To think of all I missed, what a shame that would have been. I would also like to ask that those who nominate for Indie books, please read and think of this one for nomination as I am not a part of the nominating community but encourage that this book is definitely a winner!
One thing I will impatiently wait for is to see where this writer goes next. After reading Sink, which is a memoir, I wonder how the writer will top this? I am sure he will but the expectations I have for his next book, after reading one so great as this, are high. I look forward to more and more from Joseph Earl Thomas, a writer I will never be able to forget as he is now bound to my heart as Joey.
Much Love to All Who Read This!
-Jeneane Vanderhoof
At one part of the book, I sat, imagining Joey going to school with a visible rotted tooth, one that the children all around him make fun of, a parent who isnt around to do anything about it (because she is out doing drugs) a popop (a grandfather with a questionable familial relation to the boy you never quite work out, as the Joey, seemingly, never does either) who is only around to call him “fag” and provide the bare minimum for him, a ganny who doesnt do much more than steal (for her habit, like the mom) and get beat by popop, you cant help but have your heart rung with the empathic relationship you find yourself having the writer and Joey. The author does the best job of getting readers to see life through his eyes, as a young boy, the way in which he describes life growing up in this dire situation. Descriptions were written in ways, sentences, said in ways I have never before read with an author. A unique read that all definitely need to experience if you want to say you are a well rounded reader. This really isn't a book that should be missed on your shelf.
The emotional boy Joey was, the way in which he had to grow up, was very hard for him and this is certainly projected in the emotive descriptions of experiences and situations. It would be hard for anyone to grow up, having been born into the life he was but Joey feels things deeply, and (as I too am like this) cries when he does. Maybe it is the frustration he feels, in situations where there is no way out, no solution, nothing he can do. One thing readers can see is that Joey lacks any power in his situation. However, that is true of children, that they lack power. It is that there is no one, ever, who helps Joey. That is why I believe the boy is so distraught. Because there was never an out, never a person who cared, never something better waiting. And, Joey always knew this.
Readers know from page one on, that Joey’s life is different, hard, odd. But, his life is a sad reality for many children. The writer is showing readers the world as it is for youths who are raised by people who really don’t care right for their child (whatever the reason they are raising them) and is ignored by a society that needs to see they need, well, something, anything, if just to lend a hand with a toothbrush, lesson or much needed visit to the dentist (and much sooner than a visible rotted tooth). This is real life in all its harshest descriptions, situations, experiences. And, while it is a hard read for this (and many others) reason, it is so emotional to have to imagine a child in this situation, the way in which Joey prevails, goes on, and looks at the world, you have to love him.
Any boy, when thinking about his first sexual entanglement (when you read Joey’s thoughts on it), all he thinks about is setting up life with this young female,a home, a family. Something far away from where he is (and popop), wanting more than just sex, that is what is in Joey’s head. It is a unique look at something, as a female, I never thought to read. I had to just smile, shake my head, and be amused as such a sweet little boy such as this. But, it is Joey's world and what he has in life, that he has no relationships in which he sees this romantic love, that he so very much wants it, even at the young age of seven. And, to escape the life he is in as fast as possible any way he can.
I will tell readers, this book will change your life. It is an experience, just reading the book and one, as I said, you need to have read, at least once (I swear you’ll want to read it more, and will). Joey will never be forgotten if only because he looks at his reality in such a unique way, describes it for readers in a way they have never heard, so raw, brutal, and painful that your heart will belong to this boy, at the end. And all you're going to want to do is pick it up again, as Joey is a hard boy to get out of your head. You lose that to him along with your heart.
In closing, I would love to thank the author and Goodreads for winning this book in a Giveaway, as I fear I wouldn't have picked it up on my own. To think of all I missed, what a shame that would have been. I would also like to ask that those who nominate for Indie books, please read and think of this one for nomination as I am not a part of the nominating community but encourage that this book is definitely a winner!
One thing I will impatiently wait for is to see where this writer goes next. After reading Sink, which is a memoir, I wonder how the writer will top this? I am sure he will but the expectations I have for his next book, after reading one so great as this, are high. I look forward to more and more from Joseph Earl Thomas, a writer I will never be able to forget as he is now bound to my heart as Joey.
Much Love to All Who Read This!
-Jeneane Vanderhoof
March 11, 2024
2.5 stars
A raw, gut wrenching, unforgettable, brutally honest exploration of a childhood soaked in abuse, neglect, shame and hope.
Joey grew up in a household with adults who were forced to “look after” him as his junkie mother was far more absent than present in his life. This is his coming of age story.
This memoir is difficult to read. It’s truly heart wrenching. What young Joey lives through on a daily basis is horrendously upsetting on so many levels. I applaud him for being brave and vulnerable enough to share this story and hope that it can help others who may be in similar situations find their voice.
I had a hard time with the rambly writing and failed to fully connect with Joey’s story. It goes off into indirect tangents which I found hard to follow many times. I believe the scattered stories was the way the author wanted to present his story as it directly reflects his unstable childhood experiences. However, it often lost its impact on me because I found it jumpy and confusing.
One of my takeaways from this book is the resilience of children, even the ones who slip through the cracks of society’s protection over and over again. How hard it would be to remain hopeful that someone would eventually care enough to help. Even recognizing how wrong your own life is and being able to endure it everyday and still search for better. There is a lot of lost innocence within these pages. A child longing for love and affection and finding it in all the wrong places. A lot to think about.
This will be a powerful book for many.
Thank you to the publisher for my review copy!
A raw, gut wrenching, unforgettable, brutally honest exploration of a childhood soaked in abuse, neglect, shame and hope.
Joey grew up in a household with adults who were forced to “look after” him as his junkie mother was far more absent than present in his life. This is his coming of age story.
This memoir is difficult to read. It’s truly heart wrenching. What young Joey lives through on a daily basis is horrendously upsetting on so many levels. I applaud him for being brave and vulnerable enough to share this story and hope that it can help others who may be in similar situations find their voice.
I had a hard time with the rambly writing and failed to fully connect with Joey’s story. It goes off into indirect tangents which I found hard to follow many times. I believe the scattered stories was the way the author wanted to present his story as it directly reflects his unstable childhood experiences. However, it often lost its impact on me because I found it jumpy and confusing.
One of my takeaways from this book is the resilience of children, even the ones who slip through the cracks of society’s protection over and over again. How hard it would be to remain hopeful that someone would eventually care enough to help. Even recognizing how wrong your own life is and being able to endure it everyday and still search for better. There is a lot of lost innocence within these pages. A child longing for love and affection and finding it in all the wrong places. A lot to think about.
This will be a powerful book for many.
Thank you to the publisher for my review copy!
February 19, 2024
This story is raw and brutal and crafted so well that it doesn't hurt as much as it could (or would in less skilled hands). I liked SINK a lot because I think what Thomas is doing is weird and stylized and smart. The book has some structure choices that felt a little too stylized and didn't really add to the book. Overall very good commentary on what it means to be young, Black, and poor and not to be what you're "supposed" to be.
2024 Reread
I think my original assessment holds up. On a we inc read I’m more impacted by the way young Black poor kids are over exposed to violence and sex and how Thomas depicts this without hitting us over the head. Also his love of words and repetition is more present this time around.
2024 Reread
I think my original assessment holds up. On a we inc read I’m more impacted by the way young Black poor kids are over exposed to violence and sex and how Thomas depicts this without hitting us over the head. Also his love of words and repetition is more present this time around.
January 21, 2024
Joseph Earl Thomas writes about experiencing a lot of intense things as a young Black boy growing up in the Philadelphia area – toxic masculinity from family members of all genders, domestic violence, bullying, and more. In the first half of this memoir especially, he captures the bewilderment of his childhood self as he faces extreme events in life, like witnessing drug use/addiction in his family. There’s a rawness to Sink that I think may appeal to some readers.
I didn’t love the choice to use third person in this book. I think the third person sets this book apart from other memoirs, though it created a sense of something like distance for me. I also wasn’t sure whether the different vignettes really came together by the end of the memoir. The book jacket references building community and love on your own terms and the Goodreads description references finding refuge in geek culture, though those elements didn’t emerge as strongly as I wish they had. Still, perhaps consider checking it out if the synopsis intrigues you.
I didn’t love the choice to use third person in this book. I think the third person sets this book apart from other memoirs, though it created a sense of something like distance for me. I also wasn’t sure whether the different vignettes really came together by the end of the memoir. The book jacket references building community and love on your own terms and the Goodreads description references finding refuge in geek culture, though those elements didn’t emerge as strongly as I wish they had. Still, perhaps consider checking it out if the synopsis intrigues you.
July 13, 2023
https://instagram.com/p/Cqslj2nLRuQ/
A uniquely crafted memoir that highlights the resilience of children and the powerful escape and hope that art and media provide. Sink embodies the world as seen through the eyes of a child, struggling to find their way against the backdrop of neglect, toxic masculinity, and bullying, finding themselves time and time again drifting on turbulent waters, but never giving up. Using pop culture references and vibrant imagination, as well as a clever third person perspective, this memoir is so fresh in the way that it is both incredibly personal and yet so relatable; this was a love letter to every child who has stayed up all night crafting stories, delving into games, finding themselves in the underdog anime hero. An abundantly tender read that unearths both smiles and sorrow.
A uniquely crafted memoir that highlights the resilience of children and the powerful escape and hope that art and media provide. Sink embodies the world as seen through the eyes of a child, struggling to find their way against the backdrop of neglect, toxic masculinity, and bullying, finding themselves time and time again drifting on turbulent waters, but never giving up. Using pop culture references and vibrant imagination, as well as a clever third person perspective, this memoir is so fresh in the way that it is both incredibly personal and yet so relatable; this was a love letter to every child who has stayed up all night crafting stories, delving into games, finding themselves in the underdog anime hero. An abundantly tender read that unearths both smiles and sorrow.
July 25, 2022
Not just momentous but mandatory. We need this voice today, both as a real representation of those commonly muted and an acknowledgment that the idea of diversity is far more complex than the complexes we like to envision (maintain).
Thomas is aware and intelligent, creative and clear, unboxable, unfitting, unstandardized...what we need.
Thomas is aware and intelligent, creative and clear, unboxable, unfitting, unstandardized...what we need.
dnf
January 2, 2023I’m sorry to say but I have never DNFed a book so fast. Something about the writing style was so hard to follow, I had literally zero comprehension of what I was reading. It felt like something written by an AI, or maybe I am having a stroke idk!!!! I’m sure others will enjoy this one but not me 🤷🏻♀️
February 17, 2023
This was a hard memoir for me to read. Not only did the author have a traumatic childhood but the writing style was hard with me to engage with. I have read a lot of memoirs with traumatic events but this one just didn’t work for me and I can’t quite put my finger on why?
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March 2, 2024Sink is a memoir focusing mainly on Joey’s childhood. To say it was hard it an understatement. His mother was a drug addict, his father wasn’t in the picture, and his grandparents were left to raise him and his siblings. Joey grows up knowing poverty, abuse, fear, and hunger. His body grows quickly and his soul ages just as fast. It’s a heartbreaking memoir punctuated with moments of humor and tenderness. Coming of age with such turbulence, I finished the book hoping that Joey finally found peace and someone to take care of him and love him without trying to change him.
October 30, 2024
Sink is an intense 6 hour long poetry slam session in one compelling voice.
Heartbreaking, horrifying, honest.
Told in third person yet strangely feeling almost stream of conscious.
In an almost innocent childlike yet beautifully lyrical way Joseph tells the story of ‘Joey’: relaying his early childhood full of adults that neglected, rape, and abused in such a matter-of-fact way it may take a moment or two to hit you… but once it does, the strength of the hit takes your breath. Processing that these traumatic terrible things are .. did occur … do occur to a child hurts your soul more somehow because of the way they are told.
As you reach the last chapter you may not notice at first but there is no more third person reference to ‘Joey’ … the voice and tone slightly change; switching from third person to second. Subtly the stream of conscious begins to change from matter-of-factness to slight hopefulness. Your hopefulness is not just for ‘Joey’ ….
Heartbreaking, horrifying, honest.
Told in third person yet strangely feeling almost stream of conscious.
In an almost innocent childlike yet beautifully lyrical way Joseph tells the story of ‘Joey’: relaying his early childhood full of adults that neglected, rape, and abused in such a matter-of-fact way it may take a moment or two to hit you… but once it does, the strength of the hit takes your breath. Processing that these traumatic terrible things are .. did occur … do occur to a child hurts your soul more somehow because of the way they are told.
As you reach the last chapter you may not notice at first but there is no more third person reference to ‘Joey’ … the voice and tone slightly change; switching from third person to second. Subtly the stream of conscious begins to change from matter-of-factness to slight hopefulness. Your hopefulness is not just for ‘Joey’ ….
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 15, 2022
Sink by Joseph Earl Thomas is a uniquely written memoir. Told mostly in third person vignettes, Thomas writes about his childhood self, Joey. The book covers a handful of years, between the ages of about nine to thirteen as he struggles to fit in at school, in his neighborhood, and his own family. He's bullied and abused for not being tough enough, manly enough or black enough. His interest in so called white boy stuff--video games, rock music and anime--along with his sensitivity make him a target for name calling, violent attacks and repeated humiliations.
Instead of hardening or responding with violence, he retreats into the fantasy worlds of anime and video games. We see this actually play out in the writing as Thomas interweaves reality with fictional characters and events in the narration of Joey's stories. There are moments where everything blends together, creating surreal scenes where it's hard to differentiate between what is real and imagined. It's a little confusing at moments, however, I was able to follow what was happening without completely understanding it. In this way it mimics how children, and more specifically Joey, see the world. He grew up quickly due to his experience with violence, sex and addiction at a young age. Yet he still has a very immature and naive understanding of these and other aspects of the world.
Sink is incredibly engaging and beautifully written. The third person narration was perfect for giving the author the distance necessary to convey the childlike perspective in an authentic voice. It allowed the reader to simply accept the stories without looking for introspection or reflection on the events from the adult author. I'd love to recommend it to everybody but would warn that it's a difficult read. There were so many heartbreaking moments where I didn't want to keep reading but I was so absorbed in it that I couldn't stop.
Instead of hardening or responding with violence, he retreats into the fantasy worlds of anime and video games. We see this actually play out in the writing as Thomas interweaves reality with fictional characters and events in the narration of Joey's stories. There are moments where everything blends together, creating surreal scenes where it's hard to differentiate between what is real and imagined. It's a little confusing at moments, however, I was able to follow what was happening without completely understanding it. In this way it mimics how children, and more specifically Joey, see the world. He grew up quickly due to his experience with violence, sex and addiction at a young age. Yet he still has a very immature and naive understanding of these and other aspects of the world.
Sink is incredibly engaging and beautifully written. The third person narration was perfect for giving the author the distance necessary to convey the childlike perspective in an authentic voice. It allowed the reader to simply accept the stories without looking for introspection or reflection on the events from the adult author. I'd love to recommend it to everybody but would warn that it's a difficult read. There were so many heartbreaking moments where I didn't want to keep reading but I was so absorbed in it that I couldn't stop.
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March 29, 2023i just need a hug.
February 12, 2024
I just happened across this book. I didn't know the author, didn't even know what the story was about but that cover reached out to me. Then after reading the blurb, I just had to get it.
It started of well enough. My heart hurt reading about what this child went through. How he couldn't even be himself without being condemned for it. I anticipated the moment he prevailed over all these circumstances and became the man he now was. Sadly, that never fully happened and the story starting to become more of a chore to read.
I think Thomas has a wonderful, albeit sad, tale to tell. Just not sure that this was the way to do it. First off, it was written in third person. While it was different from most memoirs, it also seemed to take away from it. I think it may have made more of a disconnect with the character for me. Another issue was the story talked a lot about the author's winkey and his experience with coochies over and over again. I guess this is to be expected from an adolescent boy?? Even then, it was hard to grasp what age he was at any given time as his actions went from very mature to very childish. Then there was the end of the blurb in the book that stated "how good it feels to build community, love, and the work of salvation on your own terms". I never really saw that. I saw Thomas get thrown into every horrible situation and nothing ending up great for him. The story never left his childhood. We don't know how he made it out (even though I suspect his next book coming out will tell us).
Even so, there were the parts where we see him get a beating and he still moves on, be called a faggot and he still moves on, sharing his cereal with cockroaches and he still moves on. To watch this boy persevere was a strength in this book. I also bonded with his geeky side and enjoyed seeing him take pleasure in those odd things even though that made him stand out as a target even more. I applaud Thomas on being one of the few that make it out and decide to change his path and swim against the tide. Although, the curious part of me wants to see how he did this, I'm not quite sure I want to delve into his other book as I'm afraid it won't get me there as well and I don't know that I am ready for that journey.
It started of well enough. My heart hurt reading about what this child went through. How he couldn't even be himself without being condemned for it. I anticipated the moment he prevailed over all these circumstances and became the man he now was. Sadly, that never fully happened and the story starting to become more of a chore to read.
I think Thomas has a wonderful, albeit sad, tale to tell. Just not sure that this was the way to do it. First off, it was written in third person. While it was different from most memoirs, it also seemed to take away from it. I think it may have made more of a disconnect with the character for me. Another issue was the story talked a lot about the author's winkey and his experience with coochies over and over again. I guess this is to be expected from an adolescent boy?? Even then, it was hard to grasp what age he was at any given time as his actions went from very mature to very childish. Then there was the end of the blurb in the book that stated "how good it feels to build community, love, and the work of salvation on your own terms". I never really saw that. I saw Thomas get thrown into every horrible situation and nothing ending up great for him. The story never left his childhood. We don't know how he made it out (even though I suspect his next book coming out will tell us).
Even so, there were the parts where we see him get a beating and he still moves on, be called a faggot and he still moves on, sharing his cereal with cockroaches and he still moves on. To watch this boy persevere was a strength in this book. I also bonded with his geeky side and enjoyed seeing him take pleasure in those odd things even though that made him stand out as a target even more. I applaud Thomas on being one of the few that make it out and decide to change his path and swim against the tide. Although, the curious part of me wants to see how he did this, I'm not quite sure I want to delve into his other book as I'm afraid it won't get me there as well and I don't know that I am ready for that journey.
September 16, 2022
I try to read books that bring a different view point into my life other than the one that I already know, and Sink certainly did that for me. Joey's experience growing up was pretty much 180 degrees different from my own, yet the writing was so good that I could relate to a lot of the feelings and growing pains Joey goes through. The author does an excellent job of truly getting the reader feeling like they are on this journey with Joey. I make no claim of understanding what it's like to grow up with no real support system and everyone either bullying, beating me up or yelling at me constantly, and so throughout the book I just wanted to give Joey a hug.
The only thing that I can say is that the book jumps around different time periods and so some of the stories were a little confusing time-wise, since I had no idea how old he was during the specific story, The book is also not particularly funny (like if you were expecting an Augusten Burroughs type of memoir), more just envelopes you in what these experiences were like for him, with a little humor thrown in now and again.
The only thing that I can say is that the book jumps around different time periods and so some of the stories were a little confusing time-wise, since I had no idea how old he was during the specific story, The book is also not particularly funny (like if you were expecting an Augusten Burroughs type of memoir), more just envelopes you in what these experiences were like for him, with a little humor thrown in now and again.
January 28, 2023
Raw and explicit, Sink tells the story of Joey’s childhood growing up in extreme poverty in Philly. It is heart wrenching to know that there are so many children who really are never allowed to be a child, that the circumstances in which they are raised steals that from them. In writing his memoir in the third person, Joey’s story shines a light on those lives as well as his own. Bullying, sexual abuse, drugs, poverty, violence on many levels, it was so hard to read about Joey’s sensitive spirit being dragged through all this. Thank goodness he found Ryan and Terrell as well as comfort in the geek world. Not a linear memoir, but told in vignettes centered on momentous memories of the author, the reading at times left you off kilter, but I think that only added to the experience of what Joey’s life must have felt like.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.
June 11, 2023
Kiese Laymon spoke highly of this book, so I had no choice but to read it. The connection makes sense; both authors interrogate contemporary conceptions of masculinity in nuanced and vulnerable ways. Thomas feels like (and is) a younger writer, though; some paragraphs were absolutely heart wrenching, but the video game sections felt uneven and didn't really work for me. Then again, the ending was one of the best I've read in a long time. Thomas is unquestionably a new author to watch.
April 6, 2023
A memoir that defies conventions of the style. Written in the third person (and a little bit of second person), Thomas offers pieces of his childhood through vignettes. Sad stories, yes, but not written to exploit or garner pity—written as a child experiencing them as their only reality, before knowing how fucked up they really are. This one will stick with me for a while.
May 23, 2023
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Sink is Joseph Earl Thomas’ deeply personal coming of age memoir which is momentous.
Told mostly in third person vignettes, Thomas writes about his childhood self, Joey.
The book covers a handful of years, between the ages of about nine to thirteen as he struggles to fit in at school, in his neighborhood, and his own family.
He's bullied and abused for not being tough enough, manly enough or black enough. His interest in so called white boy stuff--video games, rock music and anime--along with his sensitivity make him a target for name calling, violent attacks and repeated humiliations.
Instead of hardening or responding with violence, he retreats into the fantasy worlds of anime and video games. We see this actually play out in the writing as Thomas interweaves reality with fictional characters and events in the narration of Joey's stories.
We need Thomas' voice today both as a real representation of those commonly muted and as an acknowledgment that the idea of diversity is far more complex than the complexes we like to envision and maintain.
The book is lyrical and it is evident that Thomas is aware and intelligent, creative and clear, unboxable, unfitting , and unstandardized—-something we need.
I would recommend this to those who enjoys authentic memoirs. If you were moved by Finding Me, All Boys Aren't Blue, or The Black Flamingo then Sink is one to add to your ever growing TBR.
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#sink #josephearlthomas #grandcenteralpub #philly #comingofage #memoir #nonfiction #readmore #reading #readmorebooks #bookrec #readdiversebooks #readdiversely #20booksbyblackfolx #justbooksbookstagram #bookstagram #emotionalreads #readersofig #readersofinstagram #bookchallenge #shereadsalot
Sink is Joseph Earl Thomas’ deeply personal coming of age memoir which is momentous.
Told mostly in third person vignettes, Thomas writes about his childhood self, Joey.
The book covers a handful of years, between the ages of about nine to thirteen as he struggles to fit in at school, in his neighborhood, and his own family.
He's bullied and abused for not being tough enough, manly enough or black enough. His interest in so called white boy stuff--video games, rock music and anime--along with his sensitivity make him a target for name calling, violent attacks and repeated humiliations.
Instead of hardening or responding with violence, he retreats into the fantasy worlds of anime and video games. We see this actually play out in the writing as Thomas interweaves reality with fictional characters and events in the narration of Joey's stories.
We need Thomas' voice today both as a real representation of those commonly muted and as an acknowledgment that the idea of diversity is far more complex than the complexes we like to envision and maintain.
The book is lyrical and it is evident that Thomas is aware and intelligent, creative and clear, unboxable, unfitting , and unstandardized—-something we need.
I would recommend this to those who enjoys authentic memoirs. If you were moved by Finding Me, All Boys Aren't Blue, or The Black Flamingo then Sink is one to add to your ever growing TBR.
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.
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#sink #josephearlthomas #grandcenteralpub #philly #comingofage #memoir #nonfiction #readmore #reading #readmorebooks #bookrec #readdiversebooks #readdiversely #20booksbyblackfolx #justbooksbookstagram #bookstagram #emotionalreads #readersofig #readersofinstagram #bookchallenge #shereadsalot
March 27, 2023
This was a truly remarkable memoir. Before starting it, based on the cover alone, I thought it was going to read more like an essay about why nerd culture saved the author from violence, racism, hunger, etc. It was a pleasant surprise that the nerd discussion was much more smoothly woven into the story of this man’s childhood than I expected. He simply showed us the way video games, anime, Pokémon, etc, comprised a world in which he could feel safe and in control. I was blown away by the metaphor of this - how his video game characters, pet snakes, drawings of sea monsters, and so on, became the teachers he yearned for. At one point he mentions how he never learned a thing from the classic sources - when it comes to Herman Melville and Moby Dick, he was confused at how the search of a great white whale produced so much intellectual victory when it had no real import in his own life, which dealt with angry grandfathers throwing punches, roaches in his cereal milk, a drug addicted mother, confusing sexual experiences, street violence, and the small yet not small reprieve of the Nintendo universe.
What strikes me most about this memoir is the way it belies a hidden conversation about care. As a Black boy growing up in poverty and violence, Joseph Earl Thomas refused to deny his tenderness. He showed us the possibility of a world where Black boys are allowed to prefer the color purple, to be sweet to their sisters, to love on their pets, to expect goodwill, to dignify Black women, basically “all the light we cannot see.” There was a hole in the world which this memoir stepped into and filled. Thank god.
What strikes me most about this memoir is the way it belies a hidden conversation about care. As a Black boy growing up in poverty and violence, Joseph Earl Thomas refused to deny his tenderness. He showed us the possibility of a world where Black boys are allowed to prefer the color purple, to be sweet to their sisters, to love on their pets, to expect goodwill, to dignify Black women, basically “all the light we cannot see.” There was a hole in the world which this memoir stepped into and filled. Thank god.
April 4, 2024
A harrowing memoir of childhood and adolescence.
Some readers object to the third person narrative; Joey does this, Joey believed that. I didn't mind it, because any memoir of childhood is largely constructed, basically fictionalizing the thin material into the shape of a story. "Joey" was always going to be a character.
The third person is distancing, people say. Well, sometimes the circumstances are so disturbing that some distance will give the reader much needed space.
What did bother me were the extensive cultural references to (what I assumed to be) cartoons and video games. There were entire chapters fantasizing about various magical fictional characters who were not introduced or explained —, the reader was just supposed to know who they were and what they did. I lacked the context to appreciate their import. I ended up skipping most of these sections because I had no idea what they were about. Unless the reader is intimately aware of the nuances in, for example, "Dragon Ball Z", the relevance of these sections will be obscure.
There were some powerful moments in this memoir, but the combination of harrowing material and distancing presentation worked against the flow of the book.
It does pull together more at the end, so I was glad I did reach that point.
And yes, I would gladly read more from this author.
Some readers object to the third person narrative; Joey does this, Joey believed that. I didn't mind it, because any memoir of childhood is largely constructed, basically fictionalizing the thin material into the shape of a story. "Joey" was always going to be a character.
The third person is distancing, people say. Well, sometimes the circumstances are so disturbing that some distance will give the reader much needed space.
What did bother me were the extensive cultural references to (what I assumed to be) cartoons and video games. There were entire chapters fantasizing about various magical fictional characters who were not introduced or explained —, the reader was just supposed to know who they were and what they did. I lacked the context to appreciate their import. I ended up skipping most of these sections because I had no idea what they were about. Unless the reader is intimately aware of the nuances in, for example, "Dragon Ball Z", the relevance of these sections will be obscure.
There were some powerful moments in this memoir, but the combination of harrowing material and distancing presentation worked against the flow of the book.
It does pull together more at the end, so I was glad I did reach that point.
And yes, I would gladly read more from this author.
January 19, 2024
I don't even know where to start. This is a courageous book. Its a glimpse into something the author mentions, and that I've written about before myself. There is always a point in your life where you realize that everyone around you lives, basically, in a different world.
This chronicle of the childhood of a young boy just trying to break out of the horrible circumstances of his life... feeling different, and depressed, seeking a connection - any connection - that feels real. Living in an environment where men and boys are in a constant fight for control, women are as often punching bags as people... helping his family and being helped at the strangest times by others... it's an amazing ride, and a book just about everyone NEEDS to read. It's not easy. There are very deep wounds in this story, but there is also hope.
One takeaway for me is that the weirder things, fantasy, science ficiton, video games... things outside the core world of people and kids of a lot of different backgrounds, can provide a safe middle ground - a way to make connections because it's different, a thing two people can understand even if they understand absolutely nothing else about one another.
Very, very glad I picked up this title.
This chronicle of the childhood of a young boy just trying to break out of the horrible circumstances of his life... feeling different, and depressed, seeking a connection - any connection - that feels real. Living in an environment where men and boys are in a constant fight for control, women are as often punching bags as people... helping his family and being helped at the strangest times by others... it's an amazing ride, and a book just about everyone NEEDS to read. It's not easy. There are very deep wounds in this story, but there is also hope.
One takeaway for me is that the weirder things, fantasy, science ficiton, video games... things outside the core world of people and kids of a lot of different backgrounds, can provide a safe middle ground - a way to make connections because it's different, a thing two people can understand even if they understand absolutely nothing else about one another.
Very, very glad I picked up this title.
May 15, 2023
Thank you to Grand Central Publishing for an advance review copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Available February 21, 2023.
4 stars
This is a very disturbing and sad coming of age story. There were times I had to remind myself how young Joey was in the story because it just seemed so jarring for a child to feel the way he felt and experience the things he did.
The story is told in third person, making the reader question if this is a story or memoir at times. It’s a distancing way of telling the story, which I imagine to Joseph Earl Thomas, feels like another person and another life.
Joey’s narrative is of a patchwork family’s life in poverty, growing up with a mother addicted to crack, and the repercussions for being intelligent and emotional in community that reveres violence.
Sink has themes of toxic masculinity, broken families, bullying and art escapism. I thought Joey’s interest in anime and video games was really interesting and shows the innocence of wanting to be the hero in your own story, even when surrounded by grief.
Sink was engaging and very well written, I look forward to the stories Joseph Earl Thomas tells in the future.
Available February 21, 2023.
4 stars
This is a very disturbing and sad coming of age story. There were times I had to remind myself how young Joey was in the story because it just seemed so jarring for a child to feel the way he felt and experience the things he did.
The story is told in third person, making the reader question if this is a story or memoir at times. It’s a distancing way of telling the story, which I imagine to Joseph Earl Thomas, feels like another person and another life.
Joey’s narrative is of a patchwork family’s life in poverty, growing up with a mother addicted to crack, and the repercussions for being intelligent and emotional in community that reveres violence.
Sink has themes of toxic masculinity, broken families, bullying and art escapism. I thought Joey’s interest in anime and video games was really interesting and shows the innocence of wanting to be the hero in your own story, even when surrounded by grief.
Sink was engaging and very well written, I look forward to the stories Joseph Earl Thomas tells in the future.
August 6, 2023
I can not even imagine living in the environment that Joseph Earl Thomas lived in. I lived with an alcoholic father who was abusive. I lived in fear when he was on the warpath, but I had a mother who was home, a clean house, and friends. I lived a very sheltered life not dealing with the sexual encounters as the author endured as a child. It shows how many children are not living the ideal life. How does someone like the author rise above it and finds a good life and raise his own beautiful family? I’m not sure but I’m glad he did.
June 20, 2024
Really tough read. Great prose. Sometimes I struggle with memoirs where the author is telling the story of their youth because either the author’s language is too adult and yet they aren’t reflecting as an adult upon the story they’re telling OR the language is too juvenile but they’re reflecting as an adult in a way that brings you out of the story. Neither issue comes up here. He writes as a juvenile and I could see the child learning in real time as I read. I enjoyed the occasions where the author dropped in as an adult, breaking that fourth wall.
December 12, 2023
I wanted to love this more but the casual violence was too sad. Also had to skip the part about the dog- maybe it was fine but no other animals were so I skipped just in case.
December 12, 2022
I received this as an ARC through a Goodreads Giveaway.
I feel torn with this book. It is a tragic story of childhood, so it's hard to say that I enjoyed it. I didn't. But I don't think I was necessarily supposed to find joy in this story. I wish it ended happier. My heart broke while reading this.
I appreciated how he wrote the story, almost disconnected and like he was telling a fictional tale. It was not only a unique way of writing a memoir, one that I have never seen before, but it helped with the pain in the story.
I can say that I appreciate the novel, I feel pain over the author's pain, but it was a difficult novel to read. It should be read, because these stories should be told. But it was the type of novel that I would read 3 pages, and walk away from it.
I feel torn with this book. It is a tragic story of childhood, so it's hard to say that I enjoyed it. I didn't. But I don't think I was necessarily supposed to find joy in this story. I wish it ended happier. My heart broke while reading this.
I appreciated how he wrote the story, almost disconnected and like he was telling a fictional tale. It was not only a unique way of writing a memoir, one that I have never seen before, but it helped with the pain in the story.
I can say that I appreciate the novel, I feel pain over the author's pain, but it was a difficult novel to read. It should be read, because these stories should be told. But it was the type of novel that I would read 3 pages, and walk away from it.
February 3, 2025
I did not like the writing style. The narrative was somewhat muddled and failed to provide a clear story. Therefore, we received snippets of time and memories of events, but not the story that smoothly ties these events together. However, that is much how memory works. We don't always possess a clearly defined story, instead holding only occasional memories with large intervals lost to time.
It is always hard to hear the truth of poverty, abuse, neglect, and poor family structure. This was a devastating personal story, which delivered heartbreak after heartbreak. But, it ended with a sliver of hope.
It is always hard to hear the truth of poverty, abuse, neglect, and poor family structure. This was a devastating personal story, which delivered heartbreak after heartbreak. But, it ended with a sliver of hope.
March 25, 2025
I'm not going to lie, this was a tough one. The writing style, subject material, constant (graphic) violence and abuse...I in no way seek to ever diminish what someone has gone through, especially this traumatic, but I left this memoir feeling defeated, especially for the author. Perhaps I'm not the right audience for a memoir that roots its narrator in the past, but the author finishes the memoir around the end of middle school and it just drops off. End stopped. There's no progression or tying into the present. We never know what happens to the narrator. Hard to connect with; I had to force myself to finish this one. I can't recommend it.
November 24, 2022
Sink is a brilliantly written memoir that will tear at your heartstrings and make you smile - all at the same time. The point where you stop worrying about fitting in and just thrive being your person really hits home. Fantastic read!
January 26, 2024
I’m giving this four stars because I think there’s so much here that’s objectively good, even though my experience of reading it was more like 2.5-3 stars.
The Good:
The author is really fearless about delving into the messy, uncivilized thoughts and actions of childhood— any childhood, but it’s especially affecting in the context of an abusive one— that come from an imperfect understanding of the world. He recreates the logic of childhood, it’s groping for making sense out of the nonsensical so well.
He sets a great scene. The writing is clear, strong, and vivid.
The neutral but noteworthy:
Look, there’s just a lot of child and animal abuse in this book. I think he handles it well in the writing and I think it belongs here because that’s what happened. But it’s a lot and I had to skip a few passages. (As soon as the puppy showed up, I said “Absolutely the fuck not” and skipped well ahead.)
The problem:
I just could not get on board with the third person narration. I can think of several good reasons why a writer would make that choice and that’s why I’m not factoring this into my rating. But it was jarring every time he called himself by name and while it may have been of use for the writer in the actual writing, it didn’t do any good for me as a reader. It just took me out of the narrative every time he called himself by name.
One of the possible reasons I think he may have done this was to get across the disconnection from experience that’s necessary to survive an abusive and neglectful childhood. The problem is that all it did was disconnect me from his book. Every time he called himself by name, I had a reaction of, “Hey, that’s you!”. It felt like he wanted me to pretend I didn’t know something we both knew I did and in a work that’s otherwise so incredibly honest, it felt performative and glaring. I just couldn’t *not* notice it.
It’s entirely likely that this is a “me” problem and other readers won’t have the same issue with it, but it still detracted from my experience of the book, so I think it’s worth noting.
The Good:
The author is really fearless about delving into the messy, uncivilized thoughts and actions of childhood— any childhood, but it’s especially affecting in the context of an abusive one— that come from an imperfect understanding of the world. He recreates the logic of childhood, it’s groping for making sense out of the nonsensical so well.
He sets a great scene. The writing is clear, strong, and vivid.
The neutral but noteworthy:
Look, there’s just a lot of child and animal abuse in this book. I think he handles it well in the writing and I think it belongs here because that’s what happened. But it’s a lot and I had to skip a few passages. (As soon as the puppy showed up, I said “Absolutely the fuck not” and skipped well ahead.)
The problem:
I just could not get on board with the third person narration. I can think of several good reasons why a writer would make that choice and that’s why I’m not factoring this into my rating. But it was jarring every time he called himself by name and while it may have been of use for the writer in the actual writing, it didn’t do any good for me as a reader. It just took me out of the narrative every time he called himself by name.
One of the possible reasons I think he may have done this was to get across the disconnection from experience that’s necessary to survive an abusive and neglectful childhood. The problem is that all it did was disconnect me from his book. Every time he called himself by name, I had a reaction of, “Hey, that’s you!”. It felt like he wanted me to pretend I didn’t know something we both knew I did and in a work that’s otherwise so incredibly honest, it felt performative and glaring. I just couldn’t *not* notice it.
It’s entirely likely that this is a “me” problem and other readers won’t have the same issue with it, but it still detracted from my experience of the book, so I think it’s worth noting.
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