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How do I really feel about Yamato?

Childhood best friends. Two halves of a whole. Yamato and Kakeru. Yamato finally worked up the courage to confess to Kakeru, which left Kakeru with a mess of emotions to untangle in his heart. What does it actually mean to like someone? What would happen to their friendship if he said yes? The pressure is overwhelming...especially with Christmas―and Yamato’s invitation to spend it with him―just around the corner. Can Kakeru come to terms with his feelings before their holiday date?

196 pages, Paperback

First published November 27, 2021

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486 people want to read

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Mika .

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5 stars
423 (41%)
4 stars
399 (39%)
3 stars
162 (15%)
2 stars
26 (2%)
1 star
13 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 109 reviews
Profile Image for Morgan ♓︎.
335 reviews84 followers
December 13, 2022
I used to get excited when a new english volume came out but now the slow burn is no longer burning… it’s just slow 😔
Profile Image for Cyndi.
755 reviews45 followers
September 30, 2023
This is me pretending not to see sis pining over bro like that. This is also me trying to forget Yamato being a pushy creep. Why is this always a thing in BL? 3 stars for the redemptive ending and Kakeru in general, but I really need this slow burn to speed up.
Profile Image for hannah.
247 reviews31 followers
April 22, 2023
this series is so cute, but I am dying for even a crumb of mutual affection. a kiss. something. there were several occasions where i kind of just wanted to shake kakeru because he is so OBLIVIOUS to his feelings. several times i chanted “kiss! kiss each other!” so vol. 6…please i am begging on my hands and knees at this point.
Profile Image for Emily.
1,329 reviews60 followers
June 25, 2023
Eeeeek. This one was not it 😬 Sister who is in love with her brother plots are not my jam. Also, so many uncomfy vibes with Yamato seeming more and more creepy/obsessive. Did not love the way he forced himself on Kakeru shortly after apologizing for kissing him without getting his consent first.

Really confused about what Kakeru’s deal is. Not sure if he has internalized homophobia, is super immature, not into guys, or what.

The final chapter where we see how they first became friends was really sweet and redeemed the volume for me to some extent.

Wanted to DNF the series after this volume, but I already have #6 out from the library, so might as well continue? 🤷🏼‍♀️
Profile Image for Bea.
239 reviews12 followers
March 15, 2023
So dude said he wouldn't touch him without him wanting that... but there was a moment when he pushed him down and Kakeru had to shove him off and ended up running away... I don't really know how to feel especially since last volume Yamato said he wouldn't do stuff like this...
Profile Image for Katja.
1,164 reviews35 followers
January 11, 2023
I still like it a lot but this volume felt a bit too much like repetition, so I hope the next one will move things ahead at least somewhat or offer something new.
Profile Image for Spudpuppy.
538 reviews1 follower
July 31, 2024
Two of my least favorite bl characters:

1. The character who is like “hrrrgh…. Augh….. I cant…. Stop myself….” Like some sort of rapist hulk

2. The character who’s only personality trait is “uwahhh… do I like him… idk… I can’t tell…. I have no idea… I’m going to take forever to decide how I feel but I’m gonna start dating him anyway even tho I don’t want him touching or looking at me… uwahhhh… I’m so indecisive I have no personality traits besides anxiety so idk what I want uwahhhhh”

Guess where we’re at with these two characters.
Profile Image for Senise.
162 reviews
May 8, 2024
YES. THINGS ARE FINALLY HAPPENING.
THANK GOD.
I’ve become obsessed, I would kill for this couples happy ending
Profile Image for Cristina⏃ϟ.
126 reviews4 followers
December 3, 2024
Que monos! Aunque ya tengo ganas de que Kakeru se lance y no le dé todo verguenza ^_^
Profile Image for lyss.
116 reviews78 followers
February 14, 2025
so the whole sister loving the brother plot instead of kakeru was completely unnecessary and also the whole volume itself dragged a ton. im kinda losing interest in this series... idk if im going to continue it
Profile Image for mimimimi.
13 reviews
January 7, 2026
So disappointed by the sudden incest????? There was NO NEED. Imediately threw me off. Don’t know if I’ll keep reading…
Profile Image for Jibug.
210 reviews2 followers
October 2, 2023
Im all for slow burns, but this is really testing my patience. It is known to Kakeru that Yamato likes him, and it's perfectly fine that Kakeru isn't sure about his own feelings. But, running away in panic every single time has its limits.

To explain, I have to bring up another manga series, Sasaki and Miyano, which I recommend reading and another slow burn. I love how Miyano, who is similarly unsure about his feelings, reacts to his situation by communicating his uncertainty to Sasaki and clearly asking for time and boundaries. This is an example of a slow burn I can get behind. It's engaging because Miyano's transparency is what makes it interesting. You get to see into his thoughts as he carefully considers what a romantic relationship would mean.

But going back to this series, when you have Kakeru panicking to the point where it becomes a comedic joke, it gets boring. You'll see Kakeru pushing Yamato away and it's exaggerated with Yamato slammed to the ground off panel with his leg dangling in the frame. It's either a joke or it gets to the point of uncomfortable seriousness when Kakeru is pinned to the ground trying to get away.

So, when I say the burn is too slow, it's not necessarily the amount of volumes that Im commenting on. It's more about the content itself and whether it's telling the story in an interesting way when the romantic coupling is delayed. Because if it's taking its sweet time at a snail's pace only to give us repetitive moments of panic, you need to give more than that.

But for some reason I keep reading this series because it does have it's moments. The scene that stands out to me is when Kakeru helps some girls with directions. Yamato sees that and assumes Kakeru is being hit on because Kakeru is such a catch. Why wouldn't anyone try to take him away? Yet, moments before Kakeru was so insecure to the point where he feels so underserving to stand by Yamato's side. You see his lack of confidence in himself so drastically contrasted to Yamato's high regard for him all on one page. Two completely different perspectives in one. So, this is the reason why I continue. It's moments like these. Whether I'll stick around? We'll see...
Profile Image for RaspberryRoses.
453 reviews1 follower
October 1, 2023
A good series that's getting bogged down by two things:

1) the surprise incest. why was there surprise incest. my curse and my burden. i hated it so much. the original dynamic of "sister and brother both have a crush on the same guy" was so much fun and so unique but NOOOPE! INCEST!

2) just a lot of repetition. at this point, there needs to be a serious change between their dynamic - we can't keep repeating the same plot beats over and over.

disappointing. i hope the next volumes turn it around.
Profile Image for Stacie Streck.
447 reviews
December 13, 2022
Seriously this series has my whole heart. I just want the boys to be happy 😭 I already can't wait for volume 6 to come out!
Profile Image for hương quỳnh.
335 reviews506 followers
November 8, 2024
So vs 3 tập đầu thì tập 4, tập 5 thấy đuối hẳn, sao mà nó chậm dữ, ko thấy tiến triển j... đúng là thử thách lòng kiên nhẫn của mình. Bữa h ko có mã shopee mà chấp nhận tốn 100 ngàn lượng để mua 2 tập này vì hóng diễn biến mà fail quớ

Quay lại đọc tập 2, 3 thấy hay khiếp lun, diễn biến chậm mà ổn, vẫn có sự tiến triển, cảm xúc vs mấy phản ứng của 2 nhóc cũng hợp lý và dễ thương, dù chưa thổ lộ nhưng sự mập mờ dập dờn đó cũng đủ quắn quéo rụng rời, thêm mấy quả cliffhanger cuối truyện làm hóng tập mới mún xỉu ##

Nhưng tập 4 khá fail so vs kỳ vọng mình.. tập 5 thì hơi kỳ kỳ: nhỏ em gái thích anh trai?? Rồi Yamato tấn công dồn dập dù Kakeru chưa đồng ý?? J z trời 😭 mình thấy hành động của Yamato ở tập 5 khá là khó chịu, phải mình là Kakeru cũng sợ bỏ chạy, mà làm hỏng hình tượng của Yamato nữa. Mới phút trước nói là sẽ ko làm j quá phận vs Kakeru, mà hết ôm r hun r vậy. Tự nhin thấy obsessed quá thấy hơi sợ, ko dc tinh tế như anh Sasaki 😂 thiệt ước gì tác giả đẩy nhanh tiến triển dùm cái, để Kakeru sớm nhận ra tình cảm rồi 2 đứa mún làm j làm. Chứ 1 người còn chưa xác định rõ, ng kia thì vội vàng tấn công!

Còn điều nữa là hình như mấy mẩu truyện 4 khung vs ngoại truyện nó cuốn hơn áhhh. Hóng backstory của nhóc Yamato ghê ## mong là tác giả viết đầu tư chi tiết xíu để cứu hình tượng Yamato trong suy nghĩ mình ##

Vs lại giải thích rõ vụ nhỏ em gái lun
Profile Image for Alison Huesca.
152 reviews2 followers
December 9, 2024
Por qué siempre tiene que acercarse sin su consentimiento 🙄 "I can't help it", dude no eres un animal para hacer las cosas por instinto
Profile Image for trina.
6 reviews
July 25, 2023
the first chapters about the sister i felt were so unnecessary, it holds nothing to the plot and the fact that she feels that way about yamato is just gross and disturbing 😭 i thought vol 1 was hinting that she had a crush on kakeru too but this is far worse. I could have gone the entire series without those meaningless chapters. As for the rest, what yamato did wasn’t okay either, definitely felt weird and kinda grossed out after reading this one (I still love kakeru though, he’s just taking his time to figure his own feelings out)
Profile Image for Brogan.
24 reviews
January 8, 2024
Very cute but it is also very slow, and this volume seemed if possible slower than the previous ones. Getting more of a look at Kakeru’s self-confidence issues is nice, but the relationship development is stalling.
Profile Image for Ana.
199 reviews12 followers
August 15, 2024
Muy monos los dos, pero ya ha tenido que salir una escena de uno acosando al otro, como en casi todos los BLs, y una persona enamorada de su hermano, como en casi todos los mangas... Cliché tras cliché, también en las cosas malas.
A ver si al menos se ponen las pilas, pero no tiene pinta.
Profile Image for KellyTheBookNerd.
49 reviews3 followers
January 9, 2023
I feel like this volume is more of the same…disappointed since the first few tugged at the heart strings. Now it’s just dragging…
Profile Image for Moisés.
45 reviews4 followers
April 6, 2023
Wanted to like this, but I can’t stand Kakeru anymore. The guy he’s been crushing on likes him back, but he is pushing him away. So annoying. I give up on this series. So slow and so whiny
1,540 reviews52 followers
April 29, 2025
I reread the first four volumes before catching up on my backlog, and I have to admit that the first couple were kind of a slog this time. That's probably why I'd left the others for so long...it just wasn't turning into a favorite series, even with the emotional Yamato bits that I did very much enjoy in Volumes 3 and 4 - I cried again through those on the reread.

He's a very interesting character, and the bits with their childhood and the loss of his dad hit so hard in this volume. It was super cute to see how he and Kakeru became friends, with wimpy cheerful little Kakeru standing up to a couple of guys who were bullying Yamato about his standoffish personality and single parent household. Of course "super cool," model-handsome Yamato would hold a torch for his childhood best friend, the one who saw through his loneliness and became an intrinsic part of his life, just like his dad had promised someone would someday.

But Kakeru, in the present tense, continues to be...so frustrating. This simply didn't need to be this long of a series. The only reason it keeps dragging out is because Kakeru's struggling with a pretty intense inferiority complex that let him ignore/deny Yamato's feelings for 3 volumes, then continuously push him away for the next two.

While it's understandable for Kakeru to need time to think through the transition from Childhood Friends to Romantic Partner, he just doesn't seem to actually be doing much of that. So it just feels repetitive and frustrating...Yamato tries to reach out with his feelings, Kakeru plays oblivious or insecure, Yamato pushes harder, Kakeru punches him or runs away, Yamato feels guilty and they go a while without talking to each other, Kakeru feels bad about it and slinks back to talk to him again...

I do see Kakeru's good points, but he really spends a lot of time making that difficult. And because of the way the dynamic's being written, Yamato keeps winding up in these situations that aren't very favorable to his character, either. It's a weird tone issue to have Yamato pushing Kakeru down and forcibly trying to kiss him, etc, when it's just not set up to be that kind of a story. And how does that even fit with his personality?

Also odd: my "why does it feel like Yamato and his sister are written like they're on a date" review from an earlier volume turning out to be rather true...because Yamato's sister has a massive brother complex, despite claiming that she had a crush on Kakeru. (Which she'd only said, I guess, to push Yamato into confronting his own feelings and making a move.)

I really like the silly, sweet classmate who's hardcore crushing on her, and doing his best to keep showing devoted interest without being too creepy about it. I hope she ends up with him...I still don't particularly like the idea of her with Hosaka, who keeps popping up to be funny and blunt and a little bit of a jerk, but in a nice way. I guess there's no chance of him being another BL side couple at this point, which seems like a real loss.

There are 10 volumes out in Japan now and 8 in English, and I sure do hope there's more progress in the next few. It doesn't feel like Mika has a real story arc plotted out at this point.
Profile Image for Andreth Saelind.
86 reviews4 followers
March 29, 2024
"I'm sure one day, you'll meet someone who notices your compassion and loneliness. That person will surely be your lifelong friend."

3,5 ⭐️
Always very sweet and comforting, even if this volume lost a few points this time around.

So, the word I would use for this one is uneven. The first chapter threw me off completely. We start off the volume in Mikoto's perspective. And while it was nice to get to know her better, the exploration of her feelings for her brother was a little wonky. The feelings are not clear, and can definitely be read as incestuous. While I commend the author for exploring the complications of these (quite unwarranted) feelings Mikoto has to contend with, the vagueness of them left too many things up in the air. It felt like a half-assumed attempt at giving more depth to Mikoto, all the while tackling a very difficult topic in this manga. There was definitely not enough time to do it in the span of the first chapter only. Not to mention the fact that casualness was definitely not something I wanted to see associated with this topic.

On the other hand, the middle chapters were an absolute delight! We are back to pining Yamato who is agonizing over what Kakeru is feeling and thinking in regards to their relationship. He's also dealing with how heightened his romantic feelings for Kakeru have become since he told him he was going to leave the door open and see how he feels about dating. Kakeru is a mess of emotions, he doesn't understand how he's feeling at all, the only thing he knows is that he's slowly realizing how Yamato has always been very important to him. We also see Kakeru dealing with crushingly low self-estime, which was another strong exploration of emotions done in this volume. Yamato does cross Kakeru's physical boundaries in this one, and Kakeru rightly tells him off about it. Both of them work things out after, which gives us one of the most heartwarming moment between them yet. We end the volume with a flashback chapter about how Kakeru and Yamato became friends, and yeah, it's no wonder Yamato is holding onto Kakeru for dear life. And, my goodness, that slow burn will be the end of me.......
Profile Image for Ester.
1,205 reviews68 followers
May 28, 2024
Siendo consciente de los sentimientos de Yamato, y teniendo él mismo que aclararse las ideas, Kakeru está más confuso que nunca. Sin acabar de entender qué es eso que experimenta siempre que Yamato le muestra su afecto, el chico termina por percatarse que no sabe qué es el amor al no haberse enamorado nunca antes, ni siquiera de algunas de las chicas que, supuestamente, le habían gustado en el pasado. Ante este descubrimiento, Kakeru no hace otra cosa que rebanarse los seos sobre qué habrá visto un chico tan guapo y maravilloso como Yamato en él.


Con la Nochebuena al caer, Yamato saca el valor para pedirle a Kakeru que pasen esa fecha tan señalada juntos, cosa que Kakeru no duda en aceptar, no en vano, el chico había creído que su amigo se lo pediría y se había cerciorado de dejarse esa fecha libre. Sin embargo, Kakeru no puede ni dormir de los nervios por salir con su amigo en clave “romántica”. Tanto es su estado de agitación que no deja de fastidiarla en la cita cada dos por tres, haciendo con ello que todas esas cosas que le han ido diciendo a lo largo de su vida para compararlo con Yamato se le claven en el corazón como puñales. Sí, Kakeru es consciente de que Yamato es guapísimo, amable, considerado y un chico maravilloso. Lo sabe como también sabe que él no es ni la mitad de lo que es Yamato. No pegan ni con cola. Entonces, ¿por qué Yamato está enamorado de él? ¿Qué tiene Kakeru para que se hayan enamorado de él cuando los demás, desde fuera, los perciben como el día y la noche y no comprenden el vínculo que los une? Cuando Kakeru explota y verbaliza todo lo que siente, lo que menos espera el joven es ver a Yamato enfadado por menospreciar sus sentimientos.

Leer la reseña completa:

http://unabibliotecaentremundos.blogs...
Profile Image for Anna ♉.
134 reviews1 follower
January 7, 2024
Y seguimos en el mismo punto del anterior tomo, que pena, de verdad...

Sus primeros tomos lograron enamorarme, pero que estemos en el 5 tomo y no haya avance, deja que desear. Amo a los protagonistas y su relación, pero estoy empezando a perder los nervios con Kakeru, por mucho que comprenda su posición. Esto se esta alargando demasiado para lo poco que pasa. Por mucho cariño que le guarde a la historia, ya no siento lo que solía sentir🥹🥹💔

PD: De sus portadas más bonitas!!!!🌃💜

PD: Voy a explayarme un poco con respecto a toda la historia. Me parece muy acertada la confesión de Yamato, que sucediera por impulsividad y en el viaje de estudios, la hace muy autentica. El problema es que después de esto, la historia se torna un bucle repetitivo. Desde mi punto de vista, Kakeru y Yamato, deberían haber arreglado sus diferencias y acabar juntos en el 4 tomo. Y ya después, si a la autora le viene en gana, hacer 7 tomos más, envase a las dificultades de la relación o ofrecernos escenas mas intimas y profundas, que se yo. Como si haces otro tomo de como se conocieron de pequeños, de esta manera, si me encajaría. Pero lo que no veo normal es estirar las rayadas mentales de Kakeru hasta en dos tomos. Además, siento que no tiene coherencia y concordancia los pensamientos y actos de Kakeru. Esta es mi opinión, espero que se entienda!!!🤍🥹
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