Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

Was I Ever #1

Was I Ever Here

Rate this book
Five years ago I bled to death from a knife to the throat.

But I didn’t stay dead.

I woke up changed and remembered far too much. I have been haunted by the memories of my past lives ever since.

For five years I’ve had the illogical certainty that I’ve spent lifetimes connected to the same soul.

Lifetimes of love, heartache, and betrayal. But was I destined to find them again?

As fate would have it, while seeking revenge for my death, my murderer led me straight to her.

Sunny.

The first time I saw her, she was trembling with fear behind the bar as I held a gun to her boss’ head. Instantly, I knew she was the one.

She was terrified of me, but now that I’ve found her, there’s no way I’m letting her go.

She will be mine again.

All she needs to do is remember.

*Was I Ever Here is a dark romance with a guaranteed HEA. It has mature situations and themes which may be considered triggers for some. Reader discretion is advised.*

334 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 12, 2022

563 people are currently reading
13404 people want to read

About the author

Naomi Loud

11 books549 followers
Writer, occasional poet, and full-time witch, Naomi Loud is known for her angsty and heartfelt stories. Whether it be dark romance or contemporary, she loves to explore the complexities of the human condition and find the common thread that connects us all. Naomi lives in Montreal, Canada, with her husband and three cats, but secretly wishes she could live underwater.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
903 (29%)
4 stars
1,064 (34%)
3 stars
807 (25%)
2 stars
262 (8%)
1 star
68 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 547 reviews
Profile Image for Rayne.
485 reviews148 followers
August 10, 2022
This story is about two souls who fall in love over and over again throughout hundreds of lifetimes. But what happens when one remembers their lives together and wants to get it right this time around?

This book was so good and so beautiful! It was unlike anything I’ve read before and I loved every page of it. It was dark and hot but also surprisingly sweet and heartwarming. I thought I was going to love this book so my expectations were pretty high but it exceeded them by far. It had amazing representation for mental health, the LGBTQIA community and a view on life and death that we don’t see as often in books. I liked how realistic they went about managing Sunny’s mental health and that she didn’t just magically get better. I especially loved seeing Byzantine jealous when he noticed Sunny dancing with someone else and not just brush it of because it was with a woman.

Some lines from this book will stick with me for a while and I can already see myself rereading it soon! I loved all the side characters and I can’t wait for Lenix and Connor’s story next! It was refreshing to not read about OTT, annoying characters or unrealistic and catty jealousy. I adored Sunny and Byzantine the most though. I loved their relationship develop and even though they were soulmates, it wasn’t insta-love. There was still lots of tension and build up before they got together. Even when they did, there were still things they needed to work through so there was never a boring moment.

It comes out August 12th and I cannot recommend this book enough to anyyone that enjoys dark romance. Especially anyone who is tired of a typical romance and needs something new to get them out of a slump. I applied to get an ARC of this book but considering I have only given a handful of books 5 stars, it did not influence my rating by any means.

*ARC*
Profile Image for Larissa Cambusano.
642 reviews54.4k followers
August 1, 2024
2.5 ⭐️ i really wish i loved this but sadly it didn’t hit for me.

i loved the plot but i just didn’t connect with the characters at all :( im gonna keep going and see if i like the other two!!
Profile Image for Jan.
1,251 reviews989 followers
July 23, 2023
*** 3.5 stars ***
Profile Image for J9s_library.
106 reviews8 followers
August 12, 2022
A love that spans lifetimes. That was how the story was described. I instantly wanted to read it and was intrigued. I was not at all prepared for how beautifully written this debut novel would be.

I felt everything for these characters. The emotional journey each of them took, I was right there with them. I full body, ugly cried 6 times, the first was on PAGE 3!

Depression is a major aspect of this story and the words used to bring it to life do just that. You can understand exactly how that character is feeling, even when they are having difficulty understanding the feeling themself.

This is a love story at the end of the day and don’t worry the spice is delivered along with the best tension.

This is an instant favorite that I will recommend to everyone. I cannot wait to see what Naomi comes up with next!
Profile Image for Meghan.
87 reviews188 followers
August 1, 2022
STUNNING debut novel from Naomi.

I felt like I was watching a movie and reading poetry at the same time. The writing is hauntingly gorgeous.

This is a character driven, dark romance that deals with some heavy topics like depression, death, and suicide.

I fell in love with Byzantine and Sunny’s story. The fated lovers aspect of it was nothing like I’ve read before.

Aside from the beautiful romance, the banter between Sunny and Lennix was heartwarming, I absolutely loved Connor’s cocky ass, and am intrigued by Bastian.

AND HELLO THE SPICE?! Perfection. It was perfectly mixed in as to not take away from the plot.

It’s hard for me to be truly engrossed in a book but this had all my attention. I am absolutely shaken by how amazing this was.
Profile Image for Hannah.
97 reviews3 followers
May 4, 2024
I think she puts crack in her books because I’m addicted.
Profile Image for turningthepageswithangela.
256 reviews26 followers
May 29, 2025
This was a very intriguing read. I dived in not reading the synopsis of course, and was slightly confused considering I had seen this was a dark romance. And it is a dark romance but I wasn’t quite expecting this. . . This mindfck constantly had me going back to reread what I had just read to make sure I did indeed read that correctly- but full of twists and turns with a unique storyline. I found myself sucked in trying to figure out what was going on and where it would lead.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, my little sun, in this life and the next.”
Profile Image for Maddy.
291 reviews148 followers
August 12, 2022
I adored this debut from Naomi Loud. The writing is absolutely beautiful and compelling and I loved the characters.

Sunny and Byzantine are soulmates that manage to find each other in every life only to have their love end in tragedy time after time.
This character driven dark love story pulled on every single one of my heart strings. The scenes of their past lives together nearly broke me in two.
Sunny is a character that was so incredibly real to me. I saw so much of a younger version of myself in her and the way that Naomi wrote her struggle with depression is one of the best depictions I’ve ever read.
And Byzantine is my very favorite kind of MMC- a scarred, tattooed, protective man that’s obsessed with his girl and isn’t afraid to kill someone for touching her.

And the spice was so good! These two are magic together and I know one scene in particular will live in my head rent free for years to come.

Check content warnings for this one, but I hope you read it and love it as much as I did!
Profile Image for Rae (semi-hiatus).
520 reviews162 followers
August 19, 2022
Utter perfection

I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that touches on and covers mental health issues this well. Every book I have read tends to use it as a plot point to further the story. This felt real- my heart hurt and ached after this wild read. I’m in awe of Naomi Loud, lemme just say that.

This book was beautiful and it read like poetry (but I could understand it lol)! I felt as if I was watching a movie because the scenes and descriptions were so well done it painted clear pictures in my head.

The characters were relatable and flawed and I loved them so much. I loved how each past life self had some of the personality in their present self. It made it more believable. So, for me, FMCs can make or break a book, but Sunny omg 😭 I loved her. She was so flipping strong, so herself 💛

Byzantine and Sunny’s relationship made me feel so much. I was so invested and even though this book wrapped up well, I still want more. I love me some dark romance and this delivered.

I’m shook this is Naomi Loud’s debut novel tbh- This kind of writing makes me think she has many books under her belt. Definitely talented and now I want to read everything else she publishes in the future.

Give this a chance. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

This is my third time writing this review- not sure why Amazon and Goodreads isn’t saving it so hopefully this sticks. 😩🤞🏻
Profile Image for Isabella.
261 reviews2,504 followers
August 8, 2022
I received this book as an ARC and I am so, so thankful I was given the opportunity!

Starting off, this book is heavy. It has a lot of mental health triggers, which is something to be aware of before reading. However, if you are able to read this book, you should. If I could give this book 6 stars, I would. It was beautifully written and had so much emotion and heart written into it.

I loved the relationship, and while it starts out giving some very dark romance/stalker vibes, it became a beautiful love story with so much depth. I'm not a crier when it comes to books, but it really was a fantastic book that pulls at all of your heartstrings.

The spice was great, and the love story was even better. Very much worth the read and I cannot wait to read more by this author.
Profile Image for Tatianna.
294 reviews92 followers
December 22, 2022
Was I Ever Here by Naomi Loud is a debut dark paranormal romance about two soulmates that find each other through reincarnation. I usually really love reincarnation in romance and was very intrigued by this one, but unfortunately, it lacked the depth and intrigue that I was hoping for. This story started out strong and I believe the premise has potential, but I struggled to stay interested. I kept waiting for a plot twist to happen, but it never did.

Potential triggers: suicide, suicide attempts, suicidal ideation, self-harm, grief and loss, accidental death, murder and torture, violence and gore.

"Sunny is an enigma I’ve failed to decipher through time itself. Every time I feel close to unlocking her she disappears under my touch. What’s different about now? Here in this life. What can I do to make her stay?"


Byzantine has a near-death experience which allows him to see all the lives he's lived before. He's learned that he is destined to fall in love with the same soul over and and over, only to lose them to tragedy over and over. With this remembering comes a chance for him to find his soulmate once more and do whatever he can to rewrite their disastrous fate.

Despite Byzantine and Sunny living through multiple lifetimes in this book, I struggled hard to connect with them. The glimpses the reader is given of past lifetimes are fleeting and didn't exactly sell me on why I should be so invested in their love story. I was told they love each other, but was never really shown it on-page. In their present lifetime, their individual backstories remained somewhat obscure as well.

While Byzantine as a character really interested me, I felt like I knew nothing about him beyond what he does for work and his morally grey and possessive personality. Sunny was a little better developed because of her mental illness and backstory, but I still wanted more. I felt like I had no understanding of the life she was running away from, and no real insight into her relationship with River to connect me emotionally to her experience of grief.

There was also one aspect I was really hoping would be related to some sort of revelatory plot twist, however it became a dead end/coincidence and this became the disappointing cherry on top for me.

"Hopefully one day she burns as bright as the fucking sun. And I’ll turn into Icarus if only to have a taste of her fire before I burn and burn and burn."


I'm giving Was I Ever Here three stars because the mental illness representation is really well done. It is accurate, impactful and appropriately connected to the plot. It's one of the most interesting things about the story, in my opinion, and it's what kept me reading.

I wouldn't be surprised if Loud is either inspired or influenced by H.D. Carlton. The prose reminded me so much of hers, with the short sentences, organic and somewhat sarcastic internal dialogue with lots of slang. Parts of the writing were really beautiful and I can see potential in Loud's writing and storytelling.
Profile Image for Sammie Reads.
1,134 reviews183 followers
September 17, 2022
This is the third book about love in the afterlife that I’ve read this month, and it is my favorite! It truly redefined the word soulmate for me. Five years ago, Byzantine is killed. He was dead for minutes while he received blood and had his throat sewn shut. While he was dead, he saw his past lives. He saw that he was in love with the same soul over and over, and in every life, that soul was tormented by circumstances and the way he loved it, leading to the deaths of the soul. He’s determined to find her, and once he does? He’s keeping her this time.

When he tracks down his killer five years after his death, he locks eyes with Sunny and immediate knows that she’s his other half. She however is absolutely terrified of him. You see…he’s there to kill her boss. Byzantine stalks her for weeks, determined to break through to her and make her his forever. Sunny is busy running from her past and herself. Her twin died five years ago, and she stayed dead. After trying unsuccessfully to kill herself, Sunny has fled from her hometown, landing in California where Byzantine finds her. She’s so tortured, depressed, mommy issues, PTSD from her previous lives, never feeling comfortable in her own skin. Byzantine loves her through all of it.

“How do you even know it was me?”
He studies my expression for a few seconds, his gaze so open, the mask he usually hides underneath cracked and discarded, and what I see behind it almost takes my breath away.
“Because I’ve loved you for lifetimes, Sunny. No matter what happens—whatever you do, I always find you.”

This love story was beautiful and inspiring. The way her loves her, calling her “my little sun” and trying to help her break the mold of her past lives. It’s really special, and when she finally opens up to him and loves him back, it’s just gorgeous. Sunny and Byzantine forever! LITERALLY.
Profile Image for Christi (christireadsalot).
2,793 reviews1,431 followers
April 3, 2023
2.5 stars. I had high hopes for this one, but it sadly didn’t work for me. I went into this hearing it was a dark, angsty, contemporary romance dealing with soulmates and reincarnation (it’s in the blurb), with one of the main characters remembering all their previous lives. And it just fell flat for me, reincarnation is stated pretty early on in the book by the hero as just a fact for his life but we never really delve more into it and it just came off feeling surface level.

The story starts with Byzantine, he wakes up being told he died and doctors miraculously brought back to life. When he did die he figures out he has lived many different lives and remembers each one and how he always had the same love. “An innumerable amount of lives. Different bodies. Different genders, personalities. But always the same soul.” Five years to by until he meets Sunny. He actually accidentally runs into her when he’s there to question/kill her boss, who was responsible for Byzantine’s previous death. And he realizes immediately that he knows her—or knows her soul—from previous lives. He can remember lifetimes they lived together, while she doesn’t. So he decides to buy the bar she works at and becomes her boss/the new owner.

Like I mentioned this just felt very surface level as far as the characters and even the reincarnation bit, which is why I picked it up to begin with. I just didn’t feel any connection between the characters and it didn’t feel like we ever got to know them either. It felt like too much was thrown in and nothing fully fleshed out: there is some light stalking, random violent scenes (hero doing to others), and a crime organization (The Sin Eaters). 🤷🏼‍♀️ I originally had wanted to read the 2nd book but not sure I will now. All that said, while it didn’t work for me, there were some really great quotes in this read!

“But the lives I’ve spent loving Sunny over and over again? Those burn bright like the force of a thousand suns. And yet…our demise was just as inevitable as our love.  Existing in different bodies, different personalities. Still, it was always us. The same souls forever bound. Forever cursed. Betrayal. Suicide. Murder. You name it we’ve done it to one another. Our paths always destined to cross. But maybe this time we can finally do better. Maybe this time we can succeed, finally learn our lesson and stop hurting each other.”

CW: multiple suicide mentions (in the past)
Profile Image for Erica.
706 reviews847 followers
December 7, 2023
“There’s no part of you I don’t want to see, my little sun. Nothing you do can or will change my mind about you. Trust me.”


Sometimes you read a love story that is so profound, epic, and all encompassing, that you long to experience it all over again. This book had that. Naomi not only flawlessly explains mental illness, but the complex nature of loving someone with one. Byzantine and Sunny’s love is one that is going in my mental ‘hall of fame’ of love stories FOR sure.

In addition, the friendships of our side characters are all just as complex and fascinating to read. Oh, and did I mention it’s spicy? ‘CAUSE IT IS.

This book had some of the most beautiful writing I’ve ever read, and it will live in my mind rent free for a long, long time.


“My body flares up anytime he’s close. Like a disease. A virus wrecking havoc inside of me.”


*before reading make sure to look up TW’s and CW’s*
Profile Image for Clairsreads.
444 reviews59 followers
December 12, 2024
This was quite possibly the most poetic and mesmerizing book I have ever read. The story entwined between these two was so moving I felt things so viscerally while I was reading them on the page.

Byzantine dies. In the space between life and death he sees flashes of all the lives he has lived and the love that he lost. The same love over and over again. In different timelines, bodies, centuries. But the same soul. Destined to try and find his soul mate yet again he sets out on a revenge plot to avenge his near death and in doing so finds what he’s been looking for all along.

Sunny has been drifting through life after the loss of her sister. Her depression takes many forms but all of them seem to be unrelenting and consuming of her thoughts, actions and decisions. Once Byzantine sweeps into Sunny’s periphery in one of the worst moments of her life both realize nothing will ever be the same. A shadow she can’t seem to shake, Sunny must face not only her own demons but the reality of what Byzantine is her to and has been to her soul.

The way Naomi wrote these characters was absolute magic. The poetic way these two had their lives intertwined throughout centuries and how the tragedy of their life and loss shaped so much of their future was beautiful. I loved the character growth Sunny went through as well as the development of not only the relationship between the two but the relationship Sunny repaired with herself.

Dark romance, light mafia aspects, stalking, soul mates, fate, reincarnation. This book was such a journey that was equal parts tragic and breathtaking. Absolutely cannot wait to continue this series with Lennix and Connor.
Profile Image for Willie Mercedes.
1,452 reviews136 followers
July 29, 2022
TW: active suicidal ideation, mentions of a suicide attempt, self-harm, sibling death, stalking, violence, murder, depression and anxiety, near-death situations, grief, alcohol & drug abuse and degradation and praise


This is Naomi’s debut novel and she knocked it out of the park. Sunny and Byzantine are soulmates existing in different bodies, with different personalities. But their souls are always destined to cross despite experiencing tragedy. Maybe this time they will succeed, finally learn their lesson and stop hurting each other. This novel was written beautifully. The chemistry between Sunny and Byzantine was everything. Loved the unconditionally support Sunny received from Lexie. I can’t wait for Lexie and Connor’s story!
Profile Image for Kylie.
720 reviews1,314 followers
August 13, 2022
Thank you Naomi for providing me with an arc of Was I Ever Here!

This was such a fantastic debut novel, she really outdid herself -- in the best way. I had no idea where this story was going at first but when the plot continued to unfold I was lost in how brilliant it was.

Sunny and Byzantine are soulmates who exist in different bodies with different personalities through reincarnation. We were able to read how they were in different lifetimes and I could tell right away that these two were always meant to be.

Not only was there an incredible romance between the two characters but there was also some pretty good banter which I really enjoyed.

As always when reading dark romance novels, check for trigger warnings!

I can't wait to see what book Naomi comes out with next. <3
Profile Image for Amanda.
44 reviews12 followers
August 16, 2022
Just, wow... I finished this book this morning and let me just say, I needed a minute to just sit in silence with my emotions; To try to find the words to express my feelings about this story, and I don't believe I can think of a better compliment for the author and her amazing writing. Naomi, you made me FEEL so deeply, and I'm so grateful.

This book was heavy in the best way possible. I'm completely blown away, because the story itself is so unique and interesting, with this amazing star-crossed lovers premise, with all of the angst and tension and amazing spice, but all of that, which would've landed a 5-star rating in itself, feels secondary to the amazing way this author shone light on some very dark topics, including depression, grief, suicidal ideation, and self-harm.

I feel like I could ramble for hours about this book and still never be eloquent enough to do it justice, so let me just keep it simple and say, this is probably my top read of the year, I feel seen, and connected, like I will remember this story for the rest of my life, AND I fell absolutely in love with Byzantine and Sunny, and I want to relive their story over and over.

I can't wait to read about Lenix and Connor. As a matter of fact, I'm 100% certain that I will happily devour anything this author writes. Cannot recommend this book highly enough 🖤🖤🖤
Profile Image for Esther | esthersreadingnook.
316 reviews29 followers
August 12, 2022
Uhm hello. This book was amazing.

Was I Ever Here is Naomi Loud’s debut novel and she absolutely killed it.

I was expecting darkness, romance, sexy scenes, angst, all the things that I love the most in books, and boy did we get all that and so much more. I wasn’t expecting to just FEEL so much. So much sadness, love, grief, and to feel it so so deeply.

Byzantine wakes up from a near death experience with memories of his past lives and his forever love. Always the same soul in each of his lifetimes. Fate brings him to Sunny in probably the worst scenario possibly but he instantly knows she’s the one. The one he seems to always find no matter what. Now he just has to find a way to get close to her and get her to give their always ill fated love another chance.

God you guys this book. I was not ready. From the moment I read the blurb I knew I wanted to read this book and I’m so glad I did. I loved every second. I truly could not put it down.

Sunny is battling with grief, depression, and thinking she’d be better off dead. Thoughts of death consume her every waking moment. My heart HURT for her. Grief and depression are no joke and Naomi did such an amazing job of navigating through these tough topics so beautifully. Never glorifying and just showing how real these issues are for those of us who deal with them on a daily basis. I related to Sunny so much and seeing bits of myself in her was terrifying but I also felt seen and understood.

Byzantine is an angel. If you’ve read this book you’re probably like wtf are on Esther. But hear me out, the way he loved her. Just wholly and unconditionally. Swoon.🥰 He saw her pain and never pushed her to open up to him. Never pushed her to reveal the source of her issues. He supported her, loved her through it all, and have her the space to come to him when she was ready.


I could go on and on about this book. About everything it made me feel. About how I didn’t expect to laugh and much less BAWL my eyes out throughout it.

Was I Ever Here has it all. Truly truly. Good freaking job Naomi. I hope you’re proud of this book because it was amazing.


Favorite quotes because why not👏🏼
Some made me laugh and others had me crying. 😂

-“I watch her pull her tangled earphones out of her bag, not even bothering to unravel them before plugging them into her phone and popping them into her ears. Jesus really? Who does that”

- “Some might call it stalking- I call it getting acquainted.”

- “He hasn’t gotten any uglier either which is the one detail that somehow annoys me the most.”

-“You taste like life itself.”(ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!)

-“How can so much beauty exist while I’m in so much pain? How can both exist simultaneously in the same exact time?”

-“To accept the dichotomy of life and death - coming to terms that these bursts of light only exist because darkness exists too.”

-“I want to be right beside her when she rides from the ashes and into her own power.”

-“Happiness doesn’t mean happy all the time. Bad days find you no matter what, it’s part of being human”

If you made it this far, go 👏🏼 read 👏🏼 this 👏🏼 book. 👏🏼

✨Huge thanks to Naomi Loud for sending me an ARC of Was I Ever Here!✨
Profile Image for Jo ✿.
376 reviews79 followers
March 11, 2024
4.25⭐️ “I’ve loved you for lifetimes, Sunny” 😭❤️ a stellar debut from Naomi! I couldn’t put this down. So excited to jump into more of her work!
Profile Image for Ashily.
414 reviews58 followers
May 16, 2024
Rounded from 4.5☆ to 5☆

I really loved this concept for a dark romance novel: finding your soulmate/lover in every lifetime.

The characters were likable, the chapters were short and bingeable, and there were so many great quotable moments!

I really wish it would have been longer and explored their love story over more of the other lifetimes together. I can't wait to read the rest of the series!

tropes: stalker, fated mates, touch her & die
Profile Image for Baylee Beattie.
677 reviews41 followers
August 22, 2022
4.5⭐️

**arc review**

the whole concept of this book was beautiful!! soulmates, destined to always find each other in any life they live. there were some heavier topics discussed in this book, so please head the content warning!

stalker, possessive Byzantine was a treat🤤 I could so clearly imagine him in my head and man’s was foooiiiiiine (even if he was kinda sketchy lol)

absolutely LOVED the writing, I found myself highlighting so many passages while reading. the emotions and feelings we got to see from the characters were so real and raw that it made connecting with them easy.

also love the set up for the next couple’s book!! and being a big fan of the ocean and marine life, this book spoke to my own soul😌
Profile Image for tee.
201 reviews18 followers
October 23, 2022
2.75⭐️

"She’ll be the end of me. Just like I’ve been her demise before. Long ago. Somewhere else."

the premise of this was really interesting and unique but unfortunately for me, fell short - it could've been executed better. it started out really well, but it just didn't grab me. whilst i did like the characters, i just didn't love them as much as i thought i would. so i wasn't really invested in the story nor could i feel their "epic" love. i did really like the mental health rep though, it felt so true to life.
Profile Image for Shay's Shelf.
766 reviews26 followers
August 10, 2022
Wow Naomi, congrats on a beautiful debut!

I have so many thoughts about this book, I have no idea if I am going to be able to organize them all and get them into this review in a succinct way. But, here goes nothing.

First of all, I want to thank Naomi for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review. It has been so much fun to watch your romance reading journey over the last year on BookTok and Bookstagram to where you are now, releasing your very own dark romance novel!

SYNOPSIS:
Sunny, aka gloomy baby, has isolated herself from her old life. The life she had living under her neglectful and cold mother's thumb. The life she had before she lost her other half almost five years ago. Now, she has found a new friend in her new town far away from where it happened. But she continues to search for that feeling - of being alive and wanting to stay that way - for so long and can't seem to find it.

Byzantine died five years ago, and yet, he survived. But when he came back to, he also came back with memories from several lifetimes of his soul loving another soul, but their always ending in tragedy. After five years, he's finally going to get revenge on his attacker, but little did he know in the same moment Byzantine would find the star-crossed soulmate he has been looking for since waking up with these memories. But how do you tell a girl you just met while attempting to kidnap and murder her boss that you have loved her for lifetimes? Regardless, he's determined to learn from the mistakes of his past lives in order to keep her.


REVIEW: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.75 stars and a big round of applause.

Was I Ever Here packs an emotional punch. If you are not a cyborg you will cry. It's inevitable. Just accept it. It contains a number of dark themes with a the primary themes being grief, depression, and suicide/suicidal ideation. But Naomi manages to capture these mental health themes in a tasteful way that did not romanticize the struggles of mental health like so many other books do.

This book was beautifully written and well paced. For a MF romance, there is also significant representation of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. After seeing Naomi discuss her writing process on Instagram as very fluid in terms of what direction the story was going to go, I found that I could see that in the story as I read along. I could also pinpoint concepts that Naomi has discussed she enjoys of other dark romance books which was fun because I found it allowed me to see where Naomi's head was at during different points of the book.

She did an excellent job of incorporating some seriously 🔥hot, spicy 🌶 scenes without it taking away from the story. Naomi did a good job of balancing both a plot and character driven narrative. I would say it started out more plot driven with the gang side of Byzantine's life and how he gained these additional memories, but became more character driven part way through with a focus of Sunny's depression and Byzantine's reaction and feelings for Sunny.

Sunny's character is so relatable. Her traumas, experiences and triggers that lead to her mental health struggles are quite common (with the exception of how she met Byzantine). Mommy issues and the sudden death of a loved one. These are relatable topics, and yet, the way her feelings or lack thereof are described is so raw and real in a way that cracks your chest open to feel her pain.

Something I loved was that during Sunny's journey, she came to the conclusion herself that she wanted to get better. It wasn't a matter of Byzantine walked into her life and suddenly she had a reason to live. She still struggled with the pain, a man walking into her life wasn't the magic solution. Having his support absolutely helped, but like in real life she had to make the choice on her own. And even after realizing she wanted to live, she still had a moment of -for lack of a better term- relapse into her old thought process. And after all of that, it still took some time for her to seek professional help. I loved seeing this process play out, because it was real.

Something I wish this book had was more snippets of memories from Byzantine's past lives. We saw Anthony and Gabriel, we saw a past life of Sunny ODing because she found out she couldn't have children in a past life, but didn't find out what their names were in that lifetime, and near the end there is the mention of two other lives, but we don't get the actual back story of those lives either. Obviously the Anthony and Gabriel story is the most important and as Byzantine recalls is the most vivid of all the memories, but I would have loved to have a few more sprinkled throughout the book.

I also wish we got more of Byzantine's background and life story. Was I Ever Here does give us dual POV which I LOVE, but we get a lot more depth of character from Sunny than Byzantine, because we get a lot more of her history and life experience.

Regardless of not getting Byzantine's background, we do still get to see how dynamic of a character he is. We see his cold mask he uses to hide his emotions, we see his possessive and more dominant side, but we also see how deeply he cares for Sunny and the anguish he feels over losing her time and time again in his past lives and how terrified he is of losing Sunny again in this life. Byzantine does an excellent job of giving Sunny space when she needs it, not brushing her depressive episodes under the rug, and just being present without trying to push platitudes on her. He recognizes how his faults in past lives haven't helped her and is determined to learn from his past mistakes to help her become happier and healthier.

Overall, Naomi absolutely nailed it. This is an incredible debut novel and she should be seriously proud of herself!
Profile Image for ★ Reshika.
319 reviews4 followers
September 11, 2025
♾️⭐️

This book was on my TBR for years and I regret not reading sooner
This was melancholically beautiful I am literally in lost of words to describe how beautifully this was written how much depth these characters had and how they made me feel
At the starting I was very confused but once I got to know everything it was everything I needed at the moment
The story and the plot is literally so angsty
Byzantine that man literally searched for Sunny for five years
He believed she will be found and made sure to protect her in this lifetime
I loved how we had them as past lovers it was so painfully beautiful
They are literally star crossed lovers, attached by the red string of fate and everything
I loved how Byzantine was so understanding towards Sunny and her mental health and never got tired of her which was her fear
He took such good care of her made sure they fall in love again in this lifetime too
This book did not feel like a dark romance this was pure love and poetry for me I felt so many emotions

Sunny she was everything for me the way her mental health was explained and the struggles she went through so real
Her wanting to die but finally finding a reason to live ans feeling like she deserves happiness is the best thing that happened in the book
I saw myself in her she was so relatable
My heart broke for her many times
I loved how the author explored all the vulnerable emotions in the characters I am literally in love with this book
For such a sad angsty romance it had a lot of spice which i enjoyed a lot cause Byzantine was so hot
Can’t even complain!

“I can’t remember a time I didn’t love you, little sun”

Literally tell me they aren’t soulmates? They are so meant to be together I loved that they finally got to be together in love and also heal together
Profile Image for Jenna Giroux.
282 reviews9 followers
November 23, 2025
The concept of this book was so unique and beautiful! I truly have never read anything like it before! It was heartbreaking but so sweet at the same time.

From the beginning of the book our characters interactions are fun and tension filled! I loved getting to know the characters more and how they intertwined. The flashback scenes hurt my heart!

Naomi did such a great job with the mental health representation in this book it felt very really and emotional. There are a couple quotes in this book that really stood out to me.

I’m excited to continue the series and get Lenix’s story!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 547 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.