Bantam Press Holding the Baby.

by Nell Frizzell

'My favourite person on the politics of parenthood' Pandora Sykes'Exhilarating, infuriating, urgent and human' Daisy Buchanan'A blazing, brilliant read ... compassionate, convincing, funny! ' Amy Liptrot' Honest, unflinching and necessary' Sara Pascoe' Funny and brisk ... urgent and incisive ' Rob Delaney' A timely and important book ' Clover StroudIt's time to share the motherload.A memoir culminating in a manifesto, Holding the Baby sets out to understand why we still treat early parenthood as an individual slog rather than a shared cultural responsibility. Tracing her own journey to the nadir of sleeplessness via social retreat and murderous rage, Frizzell draws on the latest research to- What effect does parenting have on your career?- How can we make childcare affordable and fit for purpose?- If parenting is so hard, why does anyone ever do it more than once?Funny, reassuring and radically ambitious, Holding the Baby sheds light on the ways in which we fail new parents, and offers a rallying crying that we fight for a better alternative.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Memoir

Hardcover

Published March 2, 2023

Reviews

[Hannah Hale · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very raw account of motherhood in today’s society. Some parts did repeat multiple times but I understand if certain things could change the way motherhood looks for good, why not mention them more than once ??

Also yeah nah being a mum wouldn’t suit me I don’t think !!!

[Ella Moss · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate I'm not the target audience for this book - I picked it up in a feminist library and hoped it would focus on the inequalities women face in child rearing. It definitely did this but also seemed to miss the key point that everything being complained about could be changed if the patriarchal structures and expectations were different. There was some mention of shared parental leave etc but no identification of the cause of a large part of the issue.

I think I expected something different - something more based in fact than anecdotal - but for an "unpregnant" person with no plans for that to change, it gave an insight into life as a mother. I feel that a lot of the tangible demands made benefit far more people than just mothers and babies, but framing it in this way likely limits the audience as well as (unfortunately) the book's persuasiveness to those in positions of power quite significantly.

I liked the manifesto, but I'm not sure exactly what the call to action is. Perhaps voting labour (?) but that doesn't guarantee the changes. I think this was a great idea for a book but I personally feel that maybe the vision got lost along the way. I definitely learned a lot.

[Gemma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn’t quite resonate with me like The Panic Years did. Little bit too political. Little bit too cynical. I might’ve have enjoyed it more in the earlier Mom-hood days when looking for some validation around niche challenges? 🤷‍♀️

[Kate Davies · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book is wonderful. I read it after hearing Nell on the ‘Ready or Not’ podcast and loving what she said about motherhood and parenting. This put into words all the things I’ve felt about parenting; the challenges, the identify shifts, the changes in your relationships, career. Described as a ‘memoir culminating in a manifesto’, Nell highlights how our modern society isn’t set up to support parents and the changes that could be made to make things easier and work better. It is written about the UK but I think a lot of it translates to an Australian audience.

[Mickey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A candid memoir-manifesto that explores the personal and societal challenges of early parenthood. Through her own experience - marked by exhaustion, isolation, and emotional upheaval - Frizzell examines how parenting affects careers, the failures of current childcare systems, and the paradox of choosing to parent again despite its hardships. Blending humour with research, she critiques the individualistic approach to parenting and calls for collective responsibility and systemic change to better support new parents. This was insightful, considered and incredibly self-aware of Frizzell both as a parent and as a member of society. It was an interesting book as someone who hasn’t experienced parenthood, and I imagine it being a great read for those with or without children. Frizzell is honest, likeable and funny through her writing, and incredibly personal in this book, particularly surrounding identity shifts as a result of parenthood, how we can support parents better, and the chapter on dealing with grief too. The chapter on body image hit me quite personally and I connected heavily with this - it was articulated beautiful (Chapter 18). An enjoyable book!

[Jessy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book, however my only criticism I found it a bit too wordy and I feel as though Nell tended to go of on a tangent a bit too much, at some points in the book it felt like she was just having a long, drawn-out conversation with herself and she had forgotten about the reader. She should focus more on entertaining and amusing the reader and I think the book will get higher ratings. I also wonder if she has a very negative attitude in regards to parenting or if this is just actually the reality of what parenting is like. As I don't have my own children, I'd be interested to be read some books by other authors to compare. I found Nell to be a comical writer and her sense of humour shone through in some parts of the book. I also loved how open and completely honest she was and the book felt very real.

[Emily B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having enjoyed The Panic Years, I was pleased to dive into this. It's a very unflinching account of the early years of motherhood, and an angry, necessary call to action. Why do nursery workers get paid less than primary school teachers? Why does free childcare only start at 2? Why don't we have more public spaces that are warm and clean and safe for the people that need it? Why is housing in such a diabolical state in the UK? We know the answers to these questions really, but it's still infuriating. Nell's manifesto at the end seems so radical because of how far our society has shifted in terms of attitudes to welfare and the ever-grinding slog of profits above people. I wish the idea of de-centering work as the primary goal of our lives and focusing on community wasn't such a fantasy. But here we are. I'm glad books like this exist.

[Becca Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even though it was unrelatable to me as a new parent in many ways, it was still a pretty good read. Frizzell has a sort of manifesto towards the end of all the social and government-funded changes she’d like to see happen in Britain that would benefit parents, children, and society as a whole. She’s totally preaching to the choir I want all those things too, but as an American I would currently settle for the mediocre privileges that Frizzell claims are not enough, like free healthcare, parental leave, PUBLIC TRANSPORT ffs. There is a lot more Britain can do for their parents and children of course and they should! I’m just slightly jealous that it looks like a possible future for the UK, while some Americans are still calling free healthcare radical idea. :,(

[Regan Northwood · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this more than I did. It’s very UK specific with many mentions of policy and politics. It’s much more of a manifesto than it is a memoir. I would have liked to hear more about the authors experiences.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this parenting memoir. Cerebral and full of information yet readable, lyrical in places but never sentimental.