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Connect Method Parenting: How to get your kids to WANT to listen to you without the yelling, ultimatums, and bribes.
Connect Method Parenting cracks open that parenting genius inside of you and helps you see it so you can create exactly what you want.
Have you ever wondered how to get your kids to WANT to listen without yelling, ultimatums or bribes?
Have you ever thought…
• I wish the kids would listen better.
• I’m tired of yelling and getting frustrated.
• I feel out of control.
• I’m not a good parent.
• I should have figured this out by now.
Andee Martineau unflinchingly exposes the misconceptions that hold you back from being the calm, connected parent you want to be for your kids. She unpacks why our corrective parenting methods of timeouts, punishments, and rewards don’t work, and what to do about it.
Andee is real and she talks about real issues. More than that, she reveals the specific practical strategies that have helped the thousands of parents she’s worked with to move past corrective parenting and into connective parenting. She’s had their backs while they became the calm, connected parents they were meant to be. Now she’s got your back too.
You already have everything you need inside of you to change your home. Once you start Connect Method Parenting, no situation will stump you. You’ll feel confident and connected no matter what shenanigans your kids throw at you.
Have you ever wondered how to get your kids to WANT to listen without yelling, ultimatums or bribes?
Have you ever thought…
• I wish the kids would listen better.
• I’m tired of yelling and getting frustrated.
• I feel out of control.
• I’m not a good parent.
• I should have figured this out by now.
Andee Martineau unflinchingly exposes the misconceptions that hold you back from being the calm, connected parent you want to be for your kids. She unpacks why our corrective parenting methods of timeouts, punishments, and rewards don’t work, and what to do about it.
Andee is real and she talks about real issues. More than that, she reveals the specific practical strategies that have helped the thousands of parents she’s worked with to move past corrective parenting and into connective parenting. She’s had their backs while they became the calm, connected parents they were meant to be. Now she’s got your back too.
You already have everything you need inside of you to change your home. Once you start Connect Method Parenting, no situation will stump you. You’ll feel confident and connected no matter what shenanigans your kids throw at you.
- GenresParenting
238 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 18, 2022
49 people are currently reading
35 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
December 1, 2025
Connect Method Parenting offers a refreshing, compassionate alternative to traditional parenting. Instead of punishments, bribes, or timeouts — which often fail — it encourages building deep connection and mutual respect. Through practical, real-world strategies, the book empowers parents to stay calm, listen, and foster cooperation willingly. It’s a transformative guide for raising children through empathy and understanding, not control.
If you strongly believe in strict “discipline” and consider it the core of parenting, parts of this book may initially feel challenging or even disappointing. Reading it with an open mind is essential. The book does not reject discipline altogether; rather, it reframes parenting priorities, showing that connection, as the title suggests, is far more powerful in guiding children and achieving lasting, positive outcomes.
If you strongly believe in strict “discipline” and consider it the core of parenting, parts of this book may initially feel challenging or even disappointing. Reading it with an open mind is essential. The book does not reject discipline altogether; rather, it reframes parenting priorities, showing that connection, as the title suggests, is far more powerful in guiding children and achieving lasting, positive outcomes.
June 13, 2023
Rated
3 Stars: ⭐⭐⭐
Kindle Unlimited Read
I'm reading a recurring theme in these self help parenting book from the KU program.
It makes me wonder if a popular book was written and these are just reworded?
3 Stars: ⭐⭐⭐
Kindle Unlimited Read
I'm reading a recurring theme in these self help parenting book from the KU program.
It makes me wonder if a popular book was written and these are just reworded?
December 15, 2023
Good ideas, poorly executed.
I love the focus on connecting with your child, taking their perspective, and helping them build intrinsic motivation for good behavior. I appreciate the emphasis on regulating your own emotions and modeling healthy behavior.
However, the author preaches that connection and correction are mutually exclusive, which is not true. In fact, most research suggests that the best parenting is combination of both. The TBRI pyramid emphasizes connection, then correction, then empowerment. The Authoritative Parenting Style (characterized by high affection AND high structure) is regarded as the most beneficial. She also discredits the work of B.F. Skinner in behaviorism by just making blanket statements like "Rewards and punishments don't work," despite decades of empirical research supporting that they are effective in creating both short and long-term positive change.
So I can't really get behind it when the author makes claims that "Just love your child and the behavior will fix itself."
In addition, the author claims that "Your job is not to teach a lesson or correct their behavior, your job is to love your child as the amazing and perfect human they are." While this principle is certaintly applicable in many scenarios, it is not the panacea she claims it is. Behavior is complex and children do not come into the world inherently knowing what is and is not acceptable. Even the best, most well-mannered children need to be taught sometimes. So I worry that this kind of narrative makes parents blame themselves that they did not love their child enough if the child presents with very normal and nuanced behavior problems.
The reality is that loving your children and teaching your children are two sides of the same coin. It's a "both, and" not an "either, or." But the author did not discuss this. In fact, she is anti-correction. Because of this, every story about loving your child after they exhibit bad behavior stops there. No further discussion on teaching principles THROUGH that love.
Last thing. The focus on loving your child who's exhibiting the bad behavior was so heavy that it ignored the needs of others who might be hurt by that behavior. In one hypothetical story, the author talks about how to handle a situation where your son hits your daughter. The solution? Connect with the son! Yes, absolutely do that. But what about the daughter who was just hit? No helping the son to recognize the impact of his actions? No coaching him through feeling empathy and apologizing? No efforts to repair the relationship that was just hurt?
At the end of the book, she even claims that if your child tells you they hate you, it's a GOOD thing because they are learning to process their emotions outside of themselves. Huh? What if your child starts treating others that way? Should we just expect that all other children, teachers, peers in their life should also be okay with it? The tone just feels so overly accommodating to the child that I fear it could lead to a permissive parenting style where parents dote their children into entitlement and self-focus (think Dudley Dursley or Veruca Salt).
Anyway. Focus on connecting with your child in moments of emotional reactivity, yes. But to love your children does not mean you can never correct their behavior or teach a lesson. You can do both!
I love the focus on connecting with your child, taking their perspective, and helping them build intrinsic motivation for good behavior. I appreciate the emphasis on regulating your own emotions and modeling healthy behavior.
However, the author preaches that connection and correction are mutually exclusive, which is not true. In fact, most research suggests that the best parenting is combination of both. The TBRI pyramid emphasizes connection, then correction, then empowerment. The Authoritative Parenting Style (characterized by high affection AND high structure) is regarded as the most beneficial. She also discredits the work of B.F. Skinner in behaviorism by just making blanket statements like "Rewards and punishments don't work," despite decades of empirical research supporting that they are effective in creating both short and long-term positive change.
So I can't really get behind it when the author makes claims that "Just love your child and the behavior will fix itself."
In addition, the author claims that "Your job is not to teach a lesson or correct their behavior, your job is to love your child as the amazing and perfect human they are." While this principle is certaintly applicable in many scenarios, it is not the panacea she claims it is. Behavior is complex and children do not come into the world inherently knowing what is and is not acceptable. Even the best, most well-mannered children need to be taught sometimes. So I worry that this kind of narrative makes parents blame themselves that they did not love their child enough if the child presents with very normal and nuanced behavior problems.
The reality is that loving your children and teaching your children are two sides of the same coin. It's a "both, and" not an "either, or." But the author did not discuss this. In fact, she is anti-correction. Because of this, every story about loving your child after they exhibit bad behavior stops there. No further discussion on teaching principles THROUGH that love.
Last thing. The focus on loving your child who's exhibiting the bad behavior was so heavy that it ignored the needs of others who might be hurt by that behavior. In one hypothetical story, the author talks about how to handle a situation where your son hits your daughter. The solution? Connect with the son! Yes, absolutely do that. But what about the daughter who was just hit? No helping the son to recognize the impact of his actions? No coaching him through feeling empathy and apologizing? No efforts to repair the relationship that was just hurt?
At the end of the book, she even claims that if your child tells you they hate you, it's a GOOD thing because they are learning to process their emotions outside of themselves. Huh? What if your child starts treating others that way? Should we just expect that all other children, teachers, peers in their life should also be okay with it? The tone just feels so overly accommodating to the child that I fear it could lead to a permissive parenting style where parents dote their children into entitlement and self-focus (think Dudley Dursley or Veruca Salt).
Anyway. Focus on connecting with your child in moments of emotional reactivity, yes. But to love your children does not mean you can never correct their behavior or teach a lesson. You can do both!
February 21, 2024
The connect parent style is a great one. However, I do disagree with this author that a parent/child relationship should be solely connection and not correction. For this author it seems to be a very fine line between connect parenting and permissive parenting… she spends about 100 pages explaining how she constantly yelled at her kids over the little things and made a radical change to connect, but being constantly passive and okay with kids simply doing whatever they feel in the moment hardly seems like the right approach. Black and white parenting is really not something that should be handed down because every situation is unique. I love connection before correction. A combination of empathy and reasonable consequences to help guide our children. This book wasn’t my cup of tea.
October 15, 2022
I really enjoyed this one! The author really emphasizes developing connection and providing a safe place for children to grow and learn and be human. It requires really pausing and taking the time to get to know your child well and be curious about why they are feeling a certain way rather than making judgements and enforcing rules.
May 31, 2023
I'm having a hard time getting into this one. It feels like the message of positive discipline but just trying to put a different title on it but essentially... Connection before correction.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews