Sex Before Coffee: A Guide to Dating in Scandinavia

by Marina Iakovleva

Do you gravitate towards statuesque and stunningly blonde Malin Åkerman doppelgangers in the hopes of experiencing what it’s like to date a sexy Scandinavian?

Are you new to Scandinavia, but find yourself lonely and unable to connect with the locals, much less figure out their rules of romance?

Are you flirting with a Scandinavian — or trying to — but the cultural fine print and dating distinctions make your head spin?

If any of these sound like you or someone you know, enough is enough! Just…stop. You need to buy Sex Before A Guide to Dating in Scandinavia.

Marina Iakovleva, author of Sex Before A Guide to Dating in Scandinavia and creator of the popular YouTube channel Dating Beyond Borders, provides her own field-tested guidance, as well as insights from a roster of international interviewees, to walk you through the different stages of dating and romance in Scandinavia.

Using humour and a conversational lightheartedness, this eye-opening book sheds light it takes to navigate a boozy Nordic night outsurviving the region’s infamous hook-up culturehow not to blow a first date with a Scandinavian (if you get one!)what a foreigner must do to find and keep the love of someone who values independence above alland everything in between.
But that’s not all. In Sex Before A Guide to Dating in Scandinavia you will also bare bums and bumping uglies are trivial — not taboopick-up lines to avoid using on womenimpressive dating destinations and ideasadvantages of the "Norwegian Arm"benefits of blending in and toning downhandling the “C” word — Scandi-stylebeing in LGBTQ+ love in Scandinaviameeting the parentsmaking mini-Scandisand so much more!Click the BUY NOW button to find Scandi-lust, Scandi-love and everything in between!

204 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 5, 2022

Reviews

[Sylwia · Rating 4 out of 5]

visibility | LGBTQIAP+ folks are included, yay! Also, damn, Scandinavia sounds like a safe place for women and queers. Good to know.

reader health | I'm not sure at this time.

writing style/narrative voice & engagement | ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Though I struggled with the topic itself, I equally struggled to put this down. It sucked me in and kept me in. Also, the audiobook narrator's voice really worked for me.

Personal take-aways that are about me and not the book:

education | As a bicultural person who is formally trained in prioritizing mental health above social norms, and who is probably Autistic (stay tuned; I'm in the process of evaluation), I have a really hard time understanding when culture is presented like this because I'm not like every American or Polish person or Polish immigrant. At the same time I constantly compare and contrast my New Yorker ass from my partners' Southern asses, so I know there is a way to do this that makes sense, I just need someone to differentiate those ideas to me first before I can understand a work like this. I think when research has proven certain behaviors are inefficient, culture feels like an excuse, especially for white folks on whom that research is based. At this time that's a me problem and not a problem for this book, I think? I hope the author covers Poland one day because I would pick that up right away.

[Adrian Lacson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great insight incase I might bump into a real life Scandinavian and bombard them with stereotypes! Kidding aside, it will help me prepare for what's to come encountering them

[Haniel Udubra · Rating 3 out of 5]

This will be a rolling review as i continue reading the book….

I’ve completed about 70% of this book already.. I think what kept me going mainly falls in the contrast of the culture I grew up with in comparison to the Scandinavian dating and societal culture.
This book came at a good time (swedengate) which helped clarify some of my questions about the ever growing social media fuelled, partial truth and under researched flame.

However, the biggest draw back this book has and i think I’m well in my understanding to say this… is the writer is unable to separate her opinions and personal thoughts when giving statements of facts. Only a few times does she pull from her personal experience however the book is littered with personal ideas of beauty (), and gender norms. Which in contrasted with the point of the society fails to truly do this narration justice. I hope if she chooses to write second book this will be worked on….

As I come to the end of the book, I feel this book should be more an intro to Scandinavian culture 101 than a guide to dating…. I think there were points i find myself asking is this even relevant, or three or 7 chapters could easily have been merged into one cohesive and well written chapter.

In all for a first writing attempt the book is good.. I just enjoy complaining, however there are a few technical writing aspects that could be worked on… there are a few grammatical errors and editing mistakes. Some sentences would have been better served longer or shorter just to guide the overall flow of the book. I think skipping the bit about parents and expanding on parenting, monogamy and dating in general would have been better. Those chapters felt a bit unfinished whereas the chapters on meeting the parents didn’t make for any significant contrasts.

This was long but i hoped to be helpful to the author, considering I’ve followed her work for some time and genuinely enjoy her content.

My review remains at 3 stars… for the above reasons

[Aarón Chávez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a dating book or not really focus on single people trying to figure out how the culture works in a whole pictures.

It feels more like a narrative you can have with friends in a bar telling all their cultural shocks.

I’d appreciate a more natural language, without confirming all facts based on others experiences are true, it depends on people and regions.

It’s good as an introduction to Scandinavian behavior but after some chapters it feels difficult to read as I’m not a person who like to generalize stereotypes or at least not assume them as facts.

[Michael R · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having grown up under the Scandi influence but having raised my own kids in an Anglo culture, I find it easy to relate to this book. Examples are exaggerated or heavily stereotyped in many parts but still well rooted in the reality.

This book is worth giving to both Scandies and others who might be interested in them (or already in a relationship). It serves as a mirror and an opportunity to reflect on many characteristic traits we Scandies take as given.

[Tricia Toney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting look at the dating culture of Scandinavia. While it's not one that appeals to me in the slightest, it seems to be accurate. Good book.

[Ana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked it

[GM BP]

Informative, fun.

[Roukaya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed Marina's lively writing style. The book was an amusing read, lots of anecdotes and statistics surrounded by fun, witty writing.

[Kasia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been watching the author‘s YouTube channel for years now. I hope we get more books from different cultures.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review comes very late so let me make it short.

As a Swede myself, I can say this one hits very close to home and in the funniest way possible. If you ever wish to survive in the Scandinavian dating market this is a must read.

Even those of us who are natives could benefit from the outside perspective.